A new kind of crime demands a new kind of hero. A hero who is seven feet tall, 200 lbs and can seamlessly vanish into the night. A hero who will abduct any disabled woman he damn well feels like. A hero who will speak gently around soufflés and will eat the hot dog, not be one. The Pauls know of such a hero. Free throws desirable but not required.
Featuring: Shaq, Shaft, Sparks, kidnapping etiquette, the bassiest voice ever, the birth of the internet and some sugar.
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