32: Rules: Consequences, and the teen who doesn't seem to care.

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Having kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle/crash course in how you get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity.

Some of us are lucky enough to have grown up in a family structure which helps us figure out incentives and boundaries that work. Some equate love with giving them what they want, others are so exhausted it's more a matter of giving in.

It can feel like we have it figured out, then the teenage years hit and everything changes again. The trick seems to be getting the right balance between love and discipline, but how do we know what that is?

It’s very easy to overreact, and when that happens our relationship with our teen can suffer. The foundation we want to build on is a strong relationship in which they feel heard and understood.

So what do the experts say about it? What works, and what about the teenager who doesn't seem to care?

If you want more detail about how to mend your relationship so consequences will work, then you'll find my blog really helpful. 

• https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/

RESOURCES USED:

• https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/effective-vs-counterproductive-methods-of-teen-punishment/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=PerformanceMax&utm_content=&network=x&placement=&target=&matchtype=&utm_campaign=16929735023&ad_type=responsive_pmax&adposition=&kwd_id=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnsqdBhCGARIsAAyjYjQ7VuP6YXy_xN5VEyj-jTeNIwj1LDUhiSEaegaxw4NeK4zBWoI1GVMaArsTEALw_wcB
• Parenting style as a moderator of the effect of temperament on adolescent externalising and internalising behaviour problems: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/educational-and-developmental-psychologist/article/abs/parenting-style-as-a-moderator-of-the-effect-of-temperament-on-adolescent-externalising-and-internalising-behaviour-problems/78AC30E10887EC321057BF1E1C8CA349
• https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-dont-consequences-work-for-my-teen-heres-whyand-how-to-fix-it/
  
  
• https://middleearthnj.org/2014

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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is [email protected] The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk