Welcome to Pontifacts; ranking all the Popes from Peter to Francis! In this light-hearted, only slightly blasphemous podcast, Bry and Fry go through the lives of the Pontiffs, and rate them based on our very valid and not subjective at all categories, to determine which Pope was the popiest Pope that ever Poped.
The podcast PONTIFACTS is created by Pontifacts. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
Benedict VIII marks the (second) beginning of the "Tusculan Papacy", but will he take after his Pornocracy predecessors? In his episode, we discuss a potential precedent set, Norman alliances, Saracen invasions, and the Truce of God.
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In anticipation of Intelligent Speech 2025 happening THIS WEEKEND, we're releasing our 2024 presentation! The 2024 theme was Contingencies, and we discussed the history of the Popemobile, and how it has changed to meet the various needs of different pontiffs.
There is still time to join us for Intelligent Speech 2025: Deception, where we will be talking about the Knights Templar, and the origins of the Friday the 13th myths. Tickets are available at https://intelligentspeechonline.com/ and you will get a discount on your ticket if you use code PONTIFACTS at checkout.
You've had Pope John ("Drizzly") Cock, are you now ready for Peter Pigsnout?
In his episode, we discuss his daring assassination plot, which did not happen, his kicking off of the Great Schism, which did not happen, and his call for the First Crusade... which also did not happen.
Another John! This time with the most unfortunate nickname we have ever given, and its not even entirely our fault. In his episode, we'll discuss the shuffling of German diocese, being a nice guy, and a shocking reason to bring up the diptychs!!
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It's time for a long due #Popewatch!!
If you've seen some alarming headlines about Pope Francis "opening portals in an unprecedented ritual" or "livestreaming the opening of the Tomb of Lucifer", we've got you covered.
Thank you for another amazing year of Pontifacts, see you in 2025!
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Will Pope Silver Rat benefit from the abundance of sources we saw last week? Alas, even his sons did not bother to write about him! In his episode we discuss the mission of Bruno of Querfurt, an update on the numbering of Pope Johns, and a slightly spoilery discussion of the latest season of From.
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You've had the myths, now its time for the maths! In this episode, Bry is joined by Quinn and Umberto, certified math wizards to discuss the impact of Gerbert of Aurillac's mathematical contributions. We'll discuss the horror of calculating with Roman numerals, the introduction of Hindu-Arabic numbers, the abacus, the astrolabe, the armillary sphere, and more!
Listen to:
Nobelesse Oblige: https://nobelesseoblige.buzzsprout.com/
So You Think You Can Rule Persia? https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/
Support Pontifacts:We are sticking with Sylvester II a little longer to cover all the wild myths and legends that surround this most interesting pope. In this episode, we discuss the Devil, demons, necromancy, sorcery, prophesies, buried treasure, incorrupt bodies, vampires and more!
And THANK YOU for one million downloads!!
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Pope Sylvester was one of the most brilliant minds of the entire medieval era - but was this incredible skill the result of a deal with the devil?
In his episode we discuss the Golden Age of Al-Andalus, the Investiture Controversy, and a very unusual path to becoming pope.
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What happens when a very young emperor appoints his very cool, slightly older cousin to be Pope? Find out with Gregory V! In his episode, we discuss antipopes, excommunications, and the foibles of youth.
Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pontifactspodcast Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/pontifactspod Amazon Wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/pontifactswishlist (edited)Will this Drunken Tide escape the trappings of being a puppet pope?! In his episode, we discuss the return of an antipope, a new emperor on the rise, and the beginnings of the Investiture Controversy!
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Will Pope John XIV be a "Bold Victory"? That may be hard without eyes, or a tongue.
In his episode, we discuss the more popular papal candidate, the more powerful antipope, and the papal naming confusion that will throw a new wrench in the Johns! Thanks John XIV-bis.
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Pope Benedict might have been a nepo-baby, but that did not stop him from cracking down on simony, and not seeing the irony! In his episode, we discuss antipope instability, compromise candidates, and how "in Gerusalemme" is actually in Rome.
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The time has come for us to rank the pope that never existed! New sources have been uncovered, and this most mysterious man finally has a moment in the light! ...Things get strange.
Huge thank you to our contributors!
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How can we talk about Benedict VI, when everything attributed to him is either a forgery or a misunderstanding? In his episode, we discuss the many confusions, repeated Roman rebellions, and papal fanfiction
(Submit your creations for Pope Donus at [email protected]!)
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As we wrap up our retrospective on the first half of Pontifacts, join us as we discuss the periodization of the papacy. Witness how the pope went from insignificant cult leader to supreme temporal and spiritual authority over a thousand years of ups and downs!
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Can you believe we've made it to the halfway point!? Neither can we!
In this episode, we discuss our highest scorers in all of our categories, update the list of top over-all scorers, and reflect back on the wild and wacky pope journey we've been on.
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With Pope John XIII, the White Hen, the Jolly Princess, episode, we have officially reached HALF WAY!
In his episode, we discuss a new family, another rebellion, a bizarre punishment, and Liutprand at his most salty.
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Is Leo VIII a pope, an antipope, or both? In his episode, we discuss his legitimacy, his crimes, and investiture fraud.
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With Benedict V, we've reached the end of the Saeculum Obscurum! Has anything changed? Not really!
In his episode, we discuss the defiance of the Romans, blockades and famines, and whether or not "the pope went to the beach."
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Welcome to the FINAL part of the Lost Easter Special!
Easter (On Sunday Sunday Sunday!) is the holiest time of the Catholic year, and to celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play Easter-themed D&D adventure. And now that we're coming up on our podcast anniversary, we also want to thank you for 6 years of amazing, wonderful support!
Join us in the THRILLING, SHOCKING finale of Passion of the Heist, where our disciples finally get whats coming to them. What happens when you attack your lord and saviour? How does it shake out when you start a schism? All your deepest theological questions will be answered.
Cast and Credits:
DM: Fry
Callixta: Bry
Spirit: Ari
Publius Hortensius Bonana: Ben
Skiatos Stylites: David
Dominique Chrysostom: Roberto
Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts Podcast: https://pontifacts.podbean.com/
Ben of the Battle Royale Podcast: https://battleroyalepodcast.wordpress.com/
David of the Siecle Podcast: http://thesiecle.com/
Roberto of the History of Saqartvelo Georgia and Tsar Power Podcasts: https://historyofsaqartvelo.com/
https://tsarpowerpod.weebly.com/
Ari of the Quest Friends Podcast: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Campaign: Created by RaptorHeist (On Reddit) https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDBehindTheScreen/comments/mjv7ig/the_passion_of_the_heist_the_only_oneshot/
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hfmGEj1lDsR4awrVtkYwWgMm-uSuUtc9/view
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/ra/medina License code: KHLESJCKBLUMLUKS
Support Pontifacts:
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Help the great re-miracling! https://tinyurl.com/Pontifactsmiracles
Welcome to the Lost Easter Special!
Easter (On Sunday Sunday Sunday!) is the holiest time of the Catholic year, and to celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play Easter-themed D&D adventure. And now that we're coming up on our podcast anniversary, we also want to thank you for 6 years of amazing, wonderful support!
As our disciples reach the Remoran vaults, things go awry. Pro-wrestling philosophers and theological schisms are the least of their problems when Bonana gets an idea that may change everything.
Cast and Credits:
DM: Fry
Callixta: Bry
Spirit: Ari
Publius Hortensius Bonana: Ben
Skiatos Stylites: David
Dominique Chrysostom: Roberto
Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts Podcast: https://pontifacts.podbean.com/
Ben of the Battle Royale Podcast: https://battleroyalepodcast.wordpress.com/
David of the Siecle Podcast: http://thesiecle.com/
Roberto of the History of Saqartvelo Georgia and Tsar Power Podcasts: https://historyofsaqartvelo.com/
https://tsarpowerpod.weebly.com/
Ari of the Quest Friends Podcast: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Campaign: Created by RaptorHeist (On Reddit) https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDBehindTheScreen/comments/mjv7ig/the_passion_of_the_heist_the_only_oneshot/
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hfmGEj1lDsR4awrVtkYwWgMm-uSuUtc9/view
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/ra/medina License code: KHLESJCKBLUMLUKS
Support Pontifacts:
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Amazon Wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/pontifactswishlist
Help the great re-miracling! https://tinyurl.com/Pontifactsmiracles
Welcome to the Lost Easter Special!
Easter (On Sunday Sunday Sunday!) is the holiest time of the Catholic year, and to celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play Easter-themed D&D adventure.
After waking up in the catacombs, the disciples of Oily Josh will have to contend with temptation, curses, horrendous dice rolls, and crispy snacks. Come for the combat, stay for lessons in worm anatomy.
Cast and Credits:
DM: Fry
Callixta: Bry
Spirit: Ari
Publius Hortensius Bonana: Ben
Skiatos Stylites: David
Dominique Chrysostom: Roberto
Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts Podcast: https://pontifacts.podbean.com/
Ben of the Battle Royale Podcast: https://battleroyalepodcast.wordpress.com/
David of the Siecle Podcast: http://thesiecle.com/
Roberto of the History of Saqartvelo Georgia and Tsar Power Podcasts: https://historyofsaqartvelo.com/
https://tsarpowerpod.weebly.com/
Ari of the Quest Friends Podcast: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Campaign: Created by RaptorHeist (On Reddit) https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDBehindTheScreen/comments/mjv7ig/the_passion_of_the_heist_the_only_oneshot/
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hfmGEj1lDsR4awrVtkYwWgMm-uSuUtc9/view
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/ra/medina License code: KHLESJCKBLUMLUKS
Support Pontifacts:Welcome to the Lost Easter Special!
Easter (On Sunday Sunday Sunday!) is the holiest time of the Catholic year, and to celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play Easter-themed D&D adventure. Join the disciples of Oily Josh as they attempt to rob the Remoran Empire. To do so, they will need to convince the magistrate, Pontius Pilates, to sentence them to death!
Cast and Credits:
DM: Fry
Callixta: Bry
Spirit: Ari
Publius Hortensius Bonana: Ben
Skiatos Stylites: David
Dominique Chrysostom: Roberto
Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts Podcast: https://pontifacts.podbean.com/
Ben of the Battle Royale Podcast: https://battleroyalepodcast.wordpress.com/
David of the Siecle Podcast: http://thesiecle.com/
Roberto of the History of Saqartvelo Georgia and Tsar Power Podcasts: https://historyofsaqartvelo.com/
https://tsarpowerpod.weebly.com/
Ari of the Quest Friends Podcast: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Campaign: Created by RaptorHeist (On Reddit) https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDBehindTheScreen/comments/mjv7ig/the_passion_of_the_heist_the_only_oneshot/
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hfmGEj1lDsR4awrVtkYwWgMm-uSuUtc9/view
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/ra/medina License code: KHLESJCKBLUMLUKS
Support Pontifacts:
Content Note: This episode contains a discussion of sexual assault.
Pope John XII, the "Twilight Sabre", is likely the youngest pope in history. Pope John XII is also considered one of the worst popes in history. Correlation? Yes! In his episode, we discuss debauchery, political betrayal, debauchery, depositions, and more debauchery.
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Agapetus the sanctissimus came to the papacy during the Italian hurly-burly, and there was plenty to contend with. In his episode, we discuss the arrival of the otters and badass medieval women, and Fry gets frazzled about technological Scandinavian kings.
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What does the name Marinus bring to mind? Is it "boats and the sea and Maid Marian"? Or perhaps necromancers and psychics? Well, it should be. In his episode, we discuss canonization, private papal residences, miniatures, and emotional support ducks.
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Pope Steven VIII may not be the nothing pope you expect! In his episode, we discuss Frankish instability and the power of excommunication, a botched assassination, and "biting fish and prostitutes."
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For the holidays, we've brought you a special popey surprise! But we cannot take any of the credit for this - this poem was written and performed by Umberto Molinatti of the 'So You Think You Can Rule Persia?', a podcast rating and reviewing all the kings of Persia from Deioces to Yazdegerd III.
It was simply too perfect not to share. Thank you Umberto!
Find So You Think You Can Rule Persia?:
https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/
https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.podbean.com/
Pope Leo VII has the dubious honour of being our first-ever lost episode! Hopefully he'll remain the only one.
In his episode, we discuss Tusculum family squabbles, the Jews of Mainz, and THE biggest Catholic figure of the day... and it's not the pope.
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A few years ago, we inadvertently started a D&D anniversary trend, and as a result, we've gotten to play in a lot of fun history themed one shots! This was one such adventure. Helmed by Ben, the wonderful host of Wittenberg to Westphalia, we explored 10th-century Italy from a whole new perspective... which mostly involved wrestling.
This adventure also includes Roberto from Tsar Power, David from The Siècle, and Josh from Grand Dukes of the West
https://wittenbergtowestphaliapodcast.weebly.com/
https://pontifacts.podbean.com/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tsar-power/id1632832824
https://granddukesofthewest.com/
http://thesiecle.com/
With Pope John XI, we're driving into Scandaltown! But will Marozia's son be "Beautiful Revenge", or is that nickname better suited for someone else? In his episode, we discuss one of the youngest popes in history, disastrous marriages, and the worst face ever.
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It is time to talk about Monasteries!
As the podcast explores the 9th and 10th centuries, we have seen an increase in focus on one area of the church: Monasteries.
This period in history owes a great deal to monasteries. Monastic houses, from their earliest foundations to their proliferation across Europe performed important religious, social, cultural, and economic functions that shaped and were shaped by both the religious and secular tides of the era. They were the record keepers and power brokers. They were staples of community and education.
And yet, they were also a world of their own. When discussing the medieval papacy and the church, it is impossible to ignore the importance of monasteries. But can the same be said in reverse? How important were the actual popes to monastic life? These are big and complex questions.
And who better to answer these big and complex questions than our best Carolingian friend, Dr Rutger Kramer?!
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Pope Stephen VII is the second of the "mere phantoms" of the Saeculum Obscurum lack of information, which is fitting since he was only a placeholder anyway. In his episode, we discuss the Cluniac reform, problematic marriages, and Fry muses on what it would be like to have a teenager as pope. Little does she know...
join us next week as we "drive into Scandaltown"!
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Bry and Fry are joined by Eric of Saint Podcast to discuss the history of saint art - from the early devotional depictions of suffering, straight into eroticism and clever inclusions of mistresses and lovers.
Find Eric and Saint Podcast: https://www.saintpodcast.com/
Show Notes/Works Discussed:
Giotto's Frescos of St. Francis: https://www.wga.hu/html_m/g/giotto/assisi/upper/index.html
Mosaics of St. Sebastian in Ravenna: https://www.johnsanidopoulos.com/2019/12/the-two-earliest-images-of-saint.html
Bronzino's St. Sebastian:
https://www.museothyssen.org/sites/default/files/styles/full_resolution/public/imagen/obras/1985.2_san-sebastian.jpg
Sistine Chapel's Last Judgement St. Blaise and St. Catherine: https://cdn.kastatic.org/ka-perseus-images/288a83f4d2603e2782bad6e6c0c5d84696c03ba5.jpg
Jean Fouquet's Melun Diptych: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e7/Fouquet_Madonna.jpg/800px-Fouquet_Madonna.jpg
Caravaggio's John the Baptist:
https://media.mutualart.com/Images//2018_04/10/07/073604980/6c3752da-8079-4e58-aa93-239cff297a5a.Jpeg
Caravaggio's Judith and Holofernes:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9d/Judith_Beheading_Holofernes-Caravaggio_%28c.1598-9%29.jpg/1280px-Judith_Beheading_Holofernes-Caravaggio_%28c.1598-9%29.jpg
Caravaggio's St. Catherine of Alexandria:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c5/Caravaggio_-_Saint_Catherine_of_Alexandria_%28post-restoration_image%29.jpg/800px-Caravaggio_-_Saint_Catherine_of_Alexandria_%28post-restoration_image%29.jpg
Cristoforo Allori's Judith and Holofernes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cristofano_Allori#/media/File:Judith_with_the_Head_of_Holofernes_by_Cristofano_Allori.jpg
Da Vinci's John the Baptist: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_John_the_Baptist_%28Leonardo%29#/media/File:Leonardo_da_Vinci_-_Saint_John_the_Baptist_C2RMF_retouched.jpg
Guilia Farnese as the Virgin Mary with Pope Alexander VI:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giulia_Farnese#/media/File:Alexander_VI_guilia.jpg
Pope Leo VI gives Fry the impression that he's going to be a "big one", but will he live up to her expectations? No.
In his episode, we exhibit one of the most characteristic features of the Saeculum Obscurum, discuss Croatian Dalmatians, and give you a tiny peek into way-back Bry and Fry lore.
Support Pontifacts:
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Amazon Wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/pontifactswishlist
Pope John X, the "Wee Liar", owed much of his upward momentum in life to his outrageously good looks and the scandalous love affair he had with the most powerful woman in Rome. Maybe. Or maybe they were related.
In his episode, we discuss an astounding response to the Saracen threat, an actual battle pope, and the flightiest Italian nobles.
Support Pontifacts:
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Amazon Wishlist: https://tinyurl.com/pontifactswishlist
A new papal history book (City of Echoes) has just been released, and Bry had the opportunity to interview the author, Dr. Jessica Wärnberg!
In this episode, we discuss all things pope - the history of the papacy, the history of the city of Rome, and how the two are inextricably linked.
Jessica Wärnberg:
https://jessicawarnberg.com/
https://twitter.com/jessicawarnberg
Find City of Echoes: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/City-of-Echoes/Jessica-Warnberg/9781639365210
City of Echoes on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/City-Echoes-History-Popes-People/dp/1639365214/ref=sr_1_1?crid=P9OBCDM6DZD9&keywords=jessica+warnberg&qid=1694483147&sprefix=jessica+warn%2Caps%2C301&sr=8-1
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Pope Lando was a gambling, con-artist, spaceship pilot... Oh wait! Thats the wrong Lando! Well, considering this pope's very existence is debated, can you blame us?
Support Pontifacts:
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To celebrate 5 wonderful and pope-filled years of Pontifacts, we hosted a live-streamed anniversary special game of Pope Jeopardy! Shenanigans and Q&A ensue.
Contestants:
David of the Siecle Podcast:
http://thesiecle.com/
Roberto of Tsar Power/History of Saqartvelo Georgia: https://open.spotify.com/show/49JyFkd...
Carlos Cooper
Special thanks to Ranking '76:
https://ranking76podcast.podbean.com/
See the video on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uRVrynWZOA&t=3819s&ab_channel=PontifactsPodcast
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It's me, Anastasius III! In his episode, we discuss unfortunate epithets, the evangelization of the Normans, how much we hate Jude Law's face, and CHAOS.
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We've made it to the Pornocracy! Ohhhh yeah.
In this salacious episode, we discuss antipopes on antipopes, the scandalous House of Tusculum, blinding, fourth marriages, and surgeon simulator.
Join us at Pope Jeopardy on Sunday July 23rd!
2PM PST, 5PM EST, 10PM BST
https://www.youtube.com/@pontifactspod
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Our belated 5th anniversary special is happening LIVE on SUNDAY, July 23rd!
Streaming live on Youtube at 2 PM PST - 5 PM EST - 10 PM BST
Come join us!
Stream will be hosted here: https://www.youtube.com/@pontifactspod
Despite the "Egyptian darkness" in sources, we have some things to say about Leo V! In his episode, we discuss the founding saint of Brittany, surprise antipopes, dick joke city and...cremain chunks.
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Will the real Benny please stand up? We want to set the record straight! In his episode, we discuss a weird phenomenon of misinformation, the introduction of the Magyars, and mean Carolingian epithets.
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John, the beautiful gem, the brilliant jewel, genuinely attempted to end factionalism in Rome. In his episode, we discuss sort-of antipopes, establishing rules he couldn't believe he had to write down, and... assassinations by gout?
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After the abrupt deposition of Pope Romanus, Theodore comes to the papal throne... briefly.
In his episode, we discuss the most official papal undoing, potential assassination tours, and when you should not be a generous lover.
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Romanus comes to the papacy after the catastrophe of the Cadaver Synod. How is he going to turn this situation around? In his episode, we discuss the aftermath, the anger of Bartolomeo Platina, and who is the hottest pope?
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As one of the most famous and bizarre moments in papal history, we had to spend some extra time digging through the Cadaver Synod! In this special bonus episode, we are joined by Gregg of the Popeular History podcast, to explore and review many things that this event inspired. We'll discuss sources, paintings, music, musicals, and more!
Images:
Jean Paul Laurens, “Pope Formosus and Stephen VI, the Cadaver Synod”, 1870
At the Musee des Beaux Arts in Nantes: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/bf/Jean_Paul_Laurens_Le_Pape_Formose_et_Etienne_VI_1870.jpg/1280px-Jean_Paul_Laurens_Le_Pape_Formose_et_Etienne_VI_1870.jpg
Unknown Alamy: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/56/Cadaver_Synod.jpg
The Cadaver Synod, the posthumous ecclesiastical trial of Pope Formosus, 897, engraving from the Middle Ages, 1892, by Francesco Bertolini (1836-1909), with illustrations by Lodovico Pogliaghi (1857-1950). Biblioteca Ambrosiana: https://discovery-assets-production.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/app/uploads/2022/11/23121220/GettyImages-935422378-770x1091.jpg.webp
Cadaver Synod by Hippolite Magen 1857 https://www.bridgemanimages.com/en-US/noartistknown/title/notechnique/asset/4944939
"Le pape Formose et Etienne VII". Le concile cadaverique Gravure pour illustrer Histoire des papes par Maurice Lachatre (1814-1900), librairie du progres, Paris. https://www.alamy.com/le-pape-formose-et-etienne-vii-le-concile-cadaverique-897-le-cadavre-du-pape-formose-formoso-formosus-pape-de-891-a-896-revetu-de-ses-habi-image331922551.html?imageid=6B83FC86-C1F1-4AFB-A17B-3CBB25432BED&p=1169799&pn=1&searchId=856dd054def096977f5ecc6bd8180f46&searchtype=0
Wild Ambition Brewing:
https://wildambition.beer/
Cadaver Synod Musical IndieGogo:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-cadaver-synod-a-pope-musical#/
Guests and Readings:
Gregg of Popeular History: https://popeularhistory.podbean.com/
Liutprand - Brendan of Tsar Power: https://open.spotify.com/show/49JyFkdWvSy0sKv37W8YX6
Platina - Ben of Wittenberg to Westphalia: https://play.acast.com/s/wittenbergtowestphalia#:~:text=by%20Benjamin%20Jacobs%20Go%20to,Modern%20Period%20of%20European%20history.
Mann - Rob of Totalus Rankium: https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/
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We've finally made it to the mad Stephen!! In his episode, we discuss the moment that changed papal history for hundreds of years.
Welcome to the Cadaver Synod!!
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What, were you expecting someone else?!
In his episode, we discuss potential viciousness, deprivation of clerical orders, and the hottest 90 year old man ever.
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We're back!!! (Note: this episode was recorded BEFORE our hiatus)
Formosus is one of the most famous popes in history, though not for anything he actually did in life. But this episode will be about his life anyways! In his episode, we'll have a look at his dramatic pre-pope career, the state of the Eastern Church and Holy Roman Empire, and the summer of George.
Please join us in giving a warm welcome to our new editor, Gregg Gassman, of Popeular History and Cardinal Numbers!
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Pontifacts is coming back.
Get ready for Formosus!
Eric, host of Ranking '76 invite Bry and Fry to join several of the Rexypod family pods for some trivia fun!
Watch the full video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX3yPYsy-mY&ab_channel=Ranking76Podcast
Check out Ranking '76: https://ranking76podcast.podbean.com/
Check out Tsar Power: https://open.spotify.com/show/49JyFkdWvSy0sKv37W8YX6
Check out Nobelesse Oblige: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nobelesse-oblige/id1637021887
Today, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI died.
In this episode, we provide a short obituary and what we know about the upcoming funeral, and discuss the future of Pontifacts
We're back into the TTRPG world!
With Kyle DMing the amazing new TTRPG that he designed, Under the Neighborhood, Ari from Quest Friends! and Rob from Totalus Rankium, Bry plays through the mysterious and strange "Historia Lane", where all Pontifacts and Totalus Rankium jokes are literal and real!
Listen for zombies, birds, elections, betrayal, heartbreak, revenge, and so much more.
Quest Friends: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/pontifacts
Under the Neighborhood: https://questfriends.itch.io/neighborhood
Totalus Rankium: https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/
Who is going to be the next pope? This is a question that seems to have more and more traction every day, and many sources speculate on the possibility of each cardinal to come out on top of the next conclave. But what should we be looking at to determine papal potential?
Introducing Gabe, the creator of the Papability Index, an algorithm that determines the likelihood of a cardinal to be pope.
In this interview, Gabe and Bry discussed the creation of the formula, the factors that he feels are the most important, the most (and least) likely candidates, and how he has applied the formula to previous conclaves.
Find Gabe at: https://twitter.com/pope_predictor
Though the Vatican has been the literal 'old boys club', women have still made their mark on its history! Join Bry and James of The Other Half Podcast, as they discuss two medieval women who made waves in the church - Pope Joan, and Marozia of the Pornocracy.
James will be periodically joining us to discuss other significant women figures as we move through different eras in time.
You can find James and the Other Half Podcast here:https://www.theotherhalfpodcast.co.uk/
Important Note: One week after this interview, Pope Michael suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and died on August 2nd, 2022. We are releasing this episode because he was excited for us to do so, but we have left the content untouched.
On July 16th, 1990, 6 people gathered in a General Store in Belvue, Kansas, and elected a Pope.
And that Pope has spoken to us! Join us in an interview with Pope Michael, to explore sedevacantism, conclavism, and the papacy of the "One true" Catholic Church. Bry and Pope Michael discuss his beliefs, how his papacy came to be, his views on current struggles in the church, and what his church looks like in 2022.
Visit Pope Michael's website:
https://www.vaticaninexile.com/
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Although we've been on hiatus, Pope Francis has been busy!
Tune in for an update on the show, and coverage of Pope Francis, delegations to the Vatican, Apostolic Visits, his health and mobility issues, and the new consistory.
Tickets for Intelligent Speech:
https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/
Use code Pope for a discount
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Given that Pontifacts remains in unexpected hiatus, Bry was invited by Gregg of the Popeular History Podcast to discuss his favourite (and Bry's LEAST favourite) theory about Pope Francis!
In this episode, Gregg and Bry discuss Francis's attitude and commentary about retirement, the Apostolic Constitution, the College of Cardinals, and the one thing they both fervently agree on - their top pick for the next pope!
Find Gregg and the Popeular History Podcast here: https://popeularhistory.podbean.com/
We will once again be speaking at the Intelligent Speech Conference!
Intelligent Speech takes place online, on June 25th, from 10AM-6PM FST
Tickets are available below, use code POPE at checkout for a discount!
Due to naming confusion, Pope Stephen V is often called Stephen VI - but he is not THAT Stephen VI!
In his episode, we will discuss his response to the locust-caused famine, special dispensations in light of Saracen violence, the final decision on the Slavonic liturgy, and the END of the Carolingian Dynasty!
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Sources on Adrian's papacy are very confused about just about everything!
In his episode, we discuss Hadrian's severe anti-corruption crackdown, a literal plague of locusts, a Diet in Worms (not -that- Diet of Worms), and whether any of it happened when we think it did.
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In this very special Actual Play episode, we were invited by Zoe and Mac of the Maniculum Podcast to play through the Green Knight TTRPG game, inspired by the A24 release of the Green Knight Movie
Listen as we team up with Andy and John from Saga Thing, and Mary from BookSquadGoals on an adventure to redeem our honour, and face impending death at the hands of the Green Knight!
Playing through literature-inspired games is super fun with Medievalists!!
Visit the Maniculum Podcast: https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/
This week, we're playing this terrible and nonsensical click-your-own-adventure game.
https://clickhole.com/can-you-keep-an-eye-on-the-pope-for-just-5-minutes-1825124327/
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Although there is some confusion over Pope Marinus and his name, one thing that is perfectly clear is that his papacy set an important precedent in papal elections! In his episode, we discuss his approach to the ongoing Formosus situation, his relationship with a rexy king, and another spiritual blow in the Muslim conflict.
Please forgive our warbles, our mics were pure chaos this time around.
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Pope Mad Hook assumes the papacy, and is faced with all the danger! In his episode, we discuss a full on pirate defense of Rome, difficult Guidos, a major shift in how the Holy Roman Emperors were chosen, and the first conflicts of Formosus - with shocking consequences!
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Adrian refused being elected pope twice before his actual pontificate, most likely because he was a married family man!
In his episode, we discuss a surprise invasion of Rome, the somewhat resolution of the Lotharian divorce issue, courting the conversion of Buglars and Slavs, and the MOST perplexing murder.
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"Few popes hold a more dominating place in the history of the Catholic Church than Nicholas I." So much so, that many church historians and scholars argue that he should be considered Pope Nicholas the Great! But does he hold up to Pope Leo and Gregory? We're going to decide once and for all!
In his episode, we discuss Nicholas's many conflicts against the troublesome Archbishop John of Ravenna, the haughty Archbishop Hincmar of Rheims, the illegitimate Patriarch Photius of Constantinople, and most importantly, the divorce of Lothair II.
It turns out he was the punchy ol' Saint Nicholas all along!
Audio note: Bry's working with a new microphone, there might be a warble or two. It's learning.
Huge thanks to Ben of Fukushima Laser Shark for our jingle!
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During our exploration of the Frankish Papacy, Dr. Rutger Kramer has been our academic hero, providing access to sources, and inspiring thought-provoking discussions that resulted in much more informative episodes. So it only seemed right that we invite him on to the show, to provide his expertise!
In this episode, Bry and Rutger discuss the concepts of power, state, and church for both the Carolingians and the Papacy, the complicated dynamics of the Carolingian-Papal relationship, and critically evaluating our contemporary sources!
Find Rutger:
https://twitter.com/AnotherAspirin
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For this special Christmas crossover, we joined up with Battle Royale to talk about important French Saints, in all their grisly glory!
Check out Battle Royale:
https://battleroyale.buzzsprout.com/1804279?s=09
https://twitter.com/BattleRoyalePod
Show description:
The most wonderful time of the year was made even more wonderful by our first ever guests, Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts podcast, who rate all of the popes from Peter to Francis. Complemented as ever by the splendid humour of Fry and Eliza, Bry and Ben recount the tales of the five patron saints of France who have been woven into our story so far: Saint Petronilla, Saint Denis, Saint Martin, Saint Remy and Saint Radegund.
This is definitely not your average Christmas episode! We've got a guy carrying his own severed head, an emperor's butt being set on fire and a dove descending from the sky with a Molotov cocktail, just to name a few incidents. We also find out that not only could women read in the Dark Ages (shocker!), but one of them could even speak to frogs! How very French of her.
Pope Benedict was the actual pope to follow Leo IV, not Pope Joan! In his episode, we discuss a dramatic and confusing antipapacy, why his Liber Pontificalis entry is often missing, complicated consequences of the Iconoclasm, and... astral dew.
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It's time to answer another important question – WHY Pope Joan? If she didn’t exist, what purpose does the legend of Pope Joan serve?
In this episode, we discuss what Pope Joan represents about the church, popes, and women, and who she might have been created to attack.
Note: In this episode, something went off-kilter with Bry's microphone! Please bear with us and our substandard audio quality.
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The secret has been revealed, and now its time for the whole of the Pope Joan mythos!
In her episode, we discuss the origins of the legend, the arguments for and against her existence, possible 'hints' of Joan in art and architecture, and the ball touching chair - 'Testiculos habet, et bene pedentes!'
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Pope Johannes has a secret.
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Pope Leo may have been a 'despiser of the self', but there are plenty of reasons for us to like him! In his episode, we discuss the fortification of Rome and Leonine City just in time for the Battle of Ostia, some very important disobedient clerics, a surprise Rexy appearance, and Raphael dicks.
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Pope Sergius "Hog's Mouth" was the most pure boy, but also a grumpy gouty man who faces one of the greatest losses in church history. In his episode, we discuss why popes aren't called Peter, what happens when you contend with an antipope and the Constitutio Romanum at once, what happens when God "sends pagans to avenge what Christians fail to amend", what happens when you leave your treasures outside, and all the blame we should bestow upon his brother.
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We're back with Gregory IV, an energetic but mild small dog man. In his episode, we discuss fights over Farfa, the protracted Frankish civil wars, world-changing events being blamed on women, and ruses for betrayal!
Will Gregory be as frustrated with the Franks as Fry is?
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Pontifacts is going on a brief hiatus, due to surprise moves!
We'll be back as soon as we possibly can - keep an eye on our social media for announcements as to when that will be.
Thank you as always for your understanding and support!
Pope Valentine (not that Valentine) was very close with our last pope, which lead to serious confusion about what exactly their relationship was. In his episode, we discuss his pre-papal status, the confusion over the Constitutio Romanum, and the very uncomfortable potential of scandal.
Brace yourselves, our podcast mascots had plenty to say this episode.
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Pope Eugene, this time not a ghost, or spiders, wanted to ensure that he maintained a solid relationship with the Franks. And to do that, some compromises must be made. In his episode, we discuss the extremely important Constitutio Romanum, the Council of Rome 826, and which Jungle Book characters the Frankish kings should be.
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We've reached 100 main episodes, just in time for our three year anniversary! And Paschal is about to make some significant changes!
In his episode we'll discuss a monumental building effort in Rome, the translations of saints relics, and factional, probably totally complicit murder.
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Pope Stephen IV is NOT Stephen VI.
In his episode, we discuss the symbolic importance of the coronation of Louis the Pious, Jesus's sandals, and we ask important questions about where you would rather be kissed.
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As a non-noble elected to the Papacy, Leo received a terrible welcome. Fortunately, miracles and Charlemagne made things right. In his episode, we discuss the precedents of judging a pope and oaths of purgation, Holy Roman Emperors, and so much about Carolingian mythmaking that Fry can't take it.
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Surprise! In this bonus episode, Bry is joined by Neil of War and Conquest Podcast to talk more about Charlemagne, more Papal States, and discuss whether Pope Hadrian should be on Top 10 pope lists.
War and Conquest: https://www.warandconquest.com/
https://twitter.com/warandconquest1
While Paul Afiarta conspired to secure the papacy, the elite and very popular Hadrian secured the votes instead - and things were about to change!
In his episode, we discuss the fall of Paul Afiarta, the fall of Desiderius and the Lombard Kingdom, the emergence of an empire, and the hardcore bromance with the French Man.
PS- Pontifacts mascot Ridley had plenty to say in this episode, apologies!
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Pope Stephen's election comes at a time where the people of the newly established papal states are grappling with having the Pope as their new secular leader. Violence ensues.
In his episode we discuss
Duke Toto and his antipope, King Desiderius and his antipope, the rise and fall of Chris and Serg, and the new Franks in charge.
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The brother of our last Pope, Paul was a capable diplomat, and a fitting choice to continue Stephen's policies. In his episode, we discuss the threat of the Lombards, the threat of the Byzantines, the threat of a Byzantine-Lombard alliance, Saint Petronilla, and no-lady zones.
Intelligent Speech tickets available here:
https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/
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Use code PONT for 10% off
Intelligent Speech is back, and we will be speaking!
We will be joining forces with Steve of History of the Papacy to talk about the Pope's Secret Escape passageway, and Bry will be participating in a panel on Italy with Steve, Mike of History of Italy, and Marco of Storia d'Italia.
Tickets are available at https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/
Use code PONT for 10% off your ticket.
The real pope Stephen II has a pontificate that marks many very important paradigm shifts that will change the role of the papacy from here on out.
In his episode, we discuss the beginning of the Frankish papacy, yet another Lombard threat, the Donation of Pepin, and the beginning of Popes crowning and legitimating the rule of Kings.
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Stephen was elected to the papacy... that's about it. In his episode, we discuss the debate over when a pope becomes a pope, and the pontifical numbering confusion for the Stephens.
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Pope Zachary, our last "Byzantine" pope, marks an important shift away from the Eastern Empire, towards... yet another empire.
In his episode, we discuss the ongoing Iconoclasm, calming the Lombard threat, evangelization in Germania, and how babies poop sometimes. Come for the bad Angelology, stay for "Here are your Hot Dogs": a broad overview of the Franks.
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In this very special bonus episode and our first Agora collaboration, Bry and Fry sit down with Steve Guerra from the History of the Papacy to discuss favourite popes, favourite moments in papal history, and what draws us into the wild and complex legacy of the church.
Find the History of the Papacy here: https://www.atozhistorypage.com/
Pope Gregory III is the last non-European pope in the church until the election of Pope Francis. He also did not expect to be pope! In his episode, we discuss his unusual election, the frustrating obstacles to defending iconoclasm, the ongoing petty squabbles of the Lombards, horse meat, and some actual contact with Charles Martel!
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Pope Gregory II, "the mouthy" has a lot to live up to in his namesake, and a lot of assassination attempts to see off. In his episode, we discuss a significant Tiber flood, an unusually specific synod, the beginning of the Papal States, and the ICONOCLASM. We also ask the important question... who is messing in the olive groves?!
Show Notes:
Map of Rome: https://theromanguy.com/wp-content/uploads/Hills-of-ROme-2.jpeg
Tonsure Image: https://humoncomics.com/art/monk-tonsure.png
Papal Coat of Arms of Benedict XVI: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/Coat_of_Arms_of_Benedictus_XVI.svg/240px-Coat_of_Arms_of_Benedictus_XVI.svg.png
Lombard/Byzantine Italy:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liutprand,_King_of_the_Lombards#/media/File:Liutprand%27s_Italy.gif
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After Sisinnius's sudden death, his brother Constantine was the perfect fit to succeed him as pope - he was attracted to the Eastern culture, he had a rapport with the Imperial family, and he had a streak of luck like we haven't seen in a long time. In his episode, we discuss weaboo-ing, vinegar blinding, and sneaky murdering.
https://vurbl.com/station/6kQLp2NkIIO/
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Sisinnius would have made a great pope.
In his episode, we discuss the growth of the Eastern influence in the Roman church, the state of the Aurelian walls, and gout.
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Two Johns in a row! This one got the more unfortunate nickname...
In his episode, we deal with John's gamble against the revenge driven Emperor Justinian No-Nose, regulations for clerical dress, and a possibly-definitely made up scandal Fry is not on board with.
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Pope Salty Eye lived up to his name better than we could have ever hoped. In his episode, we discuss the unexpected arrival of the Exarch of Ravenna, the unexpected arrival of the Lombards, and the very expected arrival of Wilfrid of York. We also teach Fry's child how to use 'salty'.
(Narrator:"But Bry did not get her bad rolls, and her D&D character ended up insta-killed that very evening!")
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We're extremely pleased to announce that Pontifacts is now a part of the Agora Podcast Network!
Visit the Agora website: https://www.agorapodcastnetwork.com/
Pope Sergius had to contend with a lot of chaos! He had to overcome jumped up influencers to win the papacy, and fend off aggressive Imperial threats in order to keep it. In his episode, we discuss a double antipapcy, the Maronites, and all the issues with the Quinisext Council.
With a special appearance from our podcast mascots.
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After the death of Pope John V, a division between the Latin Romans and the new eastern Romans led to strong disagreements over who should be Pope. Enter Pope Conon. In his episode, we discuss famous Irish missionaries, Sicilian mistakes, and some Karenas.
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Pope Blackfish was "in every way, temperate", but let's not get him out of bed.
In his episode, we discuss his role in the Third Council of Constantinople, continued imperial relations, presumptuous bishops, and we clearly don't know what Blackfish is about.
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This second Benedict was yet another talented singer, and so was deeply loved by the Liber Pontificalis author. In his episode, we discuss the symbolic adoption of the Imperial sons, the latest appeals of Wilfrid of York, and... bountiful hands.
Shame Norman Boutin.
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Leo made the greatest impression on the writer of the Liber Pontificalis, who has much to say about his beautiful singing voice. In his episode, we discuss the transfer of endangered relics, finalizing the Third Council of Constantinople, shoring up papal primacy in a contentious Ravenna, and Irish Bullies.
Notes: Celtic Monks - https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Meister_des_Book_of_Durrow_001.jpg#mw-jump-to-license
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Pontifacts is 2 years old! To celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play pope themed D&D adventure. Join us as this rag tag band of Byzantine ‘pilgrims’ attempt to kidnap Pope Martin I, and bring him back to the Emperor. Shenanigans ensue
Cast:
DM: Fry
Constantine Constantius: Jamie of Totalus Rankium
Constans: Rob of Totalus Rankium
Milo: Ari of Quest Friends!
Adesius: Josh of Drunk Church History
Eanswythe: Bry
Hear our cast:
Totalus Rankium:
https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/
https://totalusrankiumap.podbean.com/
Quest Friends:
https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Drunk Church History:
https://drunkchurchhistory.podbean.com/
… all hail Bird Constans.
Campaign:
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/m/product/233069
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Pontifacts is 2 years old! To celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play pope themed D&D adventure. Join us as this rag tag band of Byzantine ‘pilgrims’ attempt to kidnap Pope Martin I, and bring him back to the Emperor. Shenanigans ensue.
Cast:
DM: Fry
Constantine Constantius: Jamie of Totalus Rankium
Constans: Rob of Totalus Rankium
Milo: Ari of Quest Friends!
Adesius: Josh of Drunk Church History
Eanswythe: Bry
Hear our cast:
Totalus Rankium:
https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/
https://totalusrankiumap.podbean.com/
Quest Friends:
https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Drunk Church History:
https://drunkchurchhistory.podbean.com/
Campaign:
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/m/product/233069
Support Pontifacts:
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Pontifacts is 2 years old! To celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play pope themed D&D adventure. Join us as this rag tag band of Byzantine ‘pilgrims’ attempt to kidnap Pope Martin I, and bring him back to the Emperor. Shenanigans ensue.
Cast:
DM: Fry
Constantine Constantius: Jamie of Totalus Rankium
Constans: Rob of Totalus Rankium
Milo: Ari of Quest Friends!
Adesius: Josh of Drunk Church History
Eanswythe: Bry
Exarch: David of the Siecle
Lady of the Night: Courtney of Cult of Domesticity
Hear our cast:
Totalus Rankium:
https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/
https://totalusrankiumap.podbean.com/
Quest Friends:
https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/
Drunk Church History:
https://drunkchurchhistory.podbean.com/
The Siecle:
http://thesiecle.com/
Cult of Domesticity:
https://domesticpodcast.podbean.com/
Campaign:
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/m/product/233069
Songs used:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVBgKCYrI-c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW4CySchxjI&list=PLhODZ6AEpil7QeRmoKNSvE5F6pJX8iRC6&index=8
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The sixth ecumenical council of the church centered on the Monothelitism and Monoenergism controversies. After many years of struggle, the new emperor set his sights on religious reconciliation, and the result is a nearly yearlong council to confirm a dyothelite Christology. In this episode we discuss the Letter of Agatho, the acclamations of the fathers and anathemas of the besmirchers, and the spectacle of Polychronus and the corpse.
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Agatho entered the church quite late after a full career in business, and life as a monk - two entire lives before the papacy. In his episode, we discuss a return of St Wilfrid of York, the papal letter that formed the foundation of the Third Council of Constantinople, and is there bugs?
Catch Marco at Storia D'Italia: https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/ziyh4-a1352/Storia-d%27Italia-Podcast
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Pontifacts will be appearing at Intelligent Speech 2020's virtual conference, with a talk on the children of the popes! Bry will also be sitting on a panel on Medieval history!
Intelligent Speech will be held on Saturday June 27th 10am-6pm EST
Find out more here: https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/
Get your tickets here: https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/product/online-ticket/
When Donus was elected to the papacy, he was already an old man, despite what his portrait would have you believe. In his episode, we discuss astronomical omens, the restoration of the autocephalous Ravenna, secret Nestorians, and an official fake pope who never existed. Also, we dive back down into the rabbit hole of the Celtic tonsure practices!
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Pope Adeodatus spent the majority of his life as a monk, and brought his enthusiasm for monastic discipline to the papacy - but not like that zealot, Gregory. In his episode, we discuss new construction in Rome, the independence of Marmoutier Abbey in Tours, hints on the upcoming Doges of Venice, and omens.
PS - The Vatican virtual tour has been released, and we WILL be doing that together at some point soon.
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Pope Vitalian had a new approach to the current conflicts between the Roman Church and Constantinople, which worked out in his favor. In his episode, we discuss the perplexing 663 Imperial visit to Rome, the problem of autocephalous Ravenna, what happens when a newly consecrated foreign bishop dies in Rome, and naturally, the devil’s ass hair and glass genitals.
Check out Lyceum at lyceum.fm
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Given that Pope Martin never abdicated upon his arrest, Pope Eugene started his tenure as an antipope. Sort of. But meek Eugene would surprise everyone - including us, when he showed up to HAUNT US. Don't try new heresies, folks.
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Real Dead Poets Society! Unrequited Love! Popes in Hell!
Dante Alighieri (1265 - 1321) was a nobleman, politician, and poet in Medieval Florence, Italy. Inspired by his childhood love, Beatrice, he went on to write the greatest piece of Italian poetry in the Divine Comedy—all while serving a lifelong exile from his beloved city.
(Fry and Bry join Josh from Drunk Church History to discuss Dante, because you know how much we love Dante!)
Listen to Drunk Church History: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/drunk-church-history/id1489613970
Drunk Church History on Twitter: https://twitter.com/dchpod
Martin had served as a papal legate in Dalmatia, and an apocrisiary in Constantinople, and he had come away from both with fairly sour opinions of the East. He took particular issue with Imperial interference in the papacy, and would repeatedly carry out bold decisions as pope that challenged the Emperor’s assumed hold over the church. In his episode, we discuss the aggressive escalation of the Monothelite conflict, the Council of the Lateran 649, and some very bad times.
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Pope Theodore was born in Jerusalem, and found himself hastily relocating to Rome. In his episode, we discuss the Muslim conquest of the Levant, the worsening monothelite schism with Constantinople through the recanting recanter Pyrrhus and the doubling down Paul, and the Type of Constans. Also dog vomit.
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We rolled a pretty euphemistic nickname for this pope. In his episode, we discuss the latest developments in the monothelite controversy, gentle defenses for Pope Honorius, and Slavic invasions in newly-Christianizing Dalmatia.
Potatoes.
(Bry is still struggling with coughs and respiratory stuff, apologies for weird sounds.)
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Monothelitism is on the rise, and Pope Honorius's gag order hasn't held the discussion at bay. So when Severinus is elected to the papacy, he will be faced with a choice: cooperate, or not be pope. In his episode, we discuss the Ecthesis, a Roman-Byzantine standoff, cloacas, and how little we know about Tinder.
Check out https://everypope.wordpress.com/ for some cool pope pictures we mentioned on the show.
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Pope Honorius has one of the most unique legacies in the history of the papacy, making him the subject of debate all the way through to the first Vatican Council in 1870. In his episode, we discuss monumental restoration efforts in Rome, disruptions in Lombard rule, connections throughout the universal church, and a new heresy with posthumous consequences.
Besmirch the besmirchers.
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Boniface is our first Neopolitan pope, but he is certainly the vanilla. In his episode, we'll discuss the origin of church sanctuary and its first universal implementation, a rebellion in the exarchate that put Rome under direct threat, and the continued expansion of English evangelization.
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Adeodatus, or Deusdedit, was the first priest elected to be the Pope since John II, and he held the first ordinations for new priests since the beginning of Pope Gregory's papacy. In his episode, we discuss the rebellion in the exarchate of Ravenna, preview the instability in the Lombard Kingdom, investigate the first papal bullae, and get up front and personal with leprosy.
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Boniface was a protégé of Pope Gregory, and he maintained a very Gregorian tone during his papacy. Which makes sense, since he was doing all the work anyway. In his episode, we'll discuss the conversion of the Pantheon from a pagan temple to a Catholic basilica, the first visit of an English bishop to Rome, a return to a long, long, never-ending issue, and part-time popery.
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Pope Sabinian is the anti-Gregory, in every possible way. He had a bad time in Constantinople, and then a worse time in Rome. He replaced monks with clerics in ecclesiastical roles, and made a massive error in judgment that made him one of the most despised popes of the era. But at least he will have one of the strangest papal deaths of all time!
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Is it any surprise that Pope Gregory the Great ended up with a place in Dante's Paradiso? And yet, he is never named! Join us as we introduce the spheres of paradise, and explore the sixth sphere, reserved for the just rulers. We'll parse out where the pope appears, and deal with a singing eagle eyeball.
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Pope Abstemius was dealt a pretty bad hand, as far as Amber Popes go. Following Durranet's ill-fated crusades, Abstemius was stuck with an Order of Truth that no one really cared for and a rival that undermined his every action. In his two-part episode, we'll discuss Abstemius's return to classic traditions, his relationship with the foolhardy antipope Paloma, and the magic of something called "Christmas."
(Bry and Fry play Numenera! We had an absolute blast with the wonderful cast of Quest Friends!, playing as the Amber Pope and Antipope in the fractured Order of Truth)
Listen to Quest Friends! https://questfriendspodcast.com
The cockatoo video Kyle references: https://youtu.be/CEQuDyuQFKE
Intro music by Miracle of Sound Friends (YouTube: https://youtu.be/uH-8TDe5s-E, Bandcamp: https://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/friends-2)
Music Credits
"Derp Away" by Liam Priestnall: https://youtu.be/SLpef-yVKL4
"Rainy day Short Ver." by Souichi Sakagami: https://tandess.com/en/music/free-material/data/rainy-day-short.html…
Additional Music from Motion Array: https://motionarray.com
In this episode, we discuss the 900 epistles of the Registrum Epistolarum, the Liber Pastoralis (Rules for the Pastor), the Commentaries on Job, the Dialogues, and Gregory’s controversial legacy on the conceptualization of a biblical figure.
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Pope Gregory I, the second pope to earn “the Great” epithet, and like our first Great Pope Leo, he had a prolific career before becoming pope, including holding the highest civic office in Rome and serving as an apocrisiarius in Constantinople. But neither of these were jobs he wanted because he much preferred a monastic life, removed from the world. Imagine his disappointment when he is acclaimed as the next pope! In his episode, we discuss Gregory’s efforts to defend the whole of Italy from Lombard aggression through military strategy and co-opting secular authority, the evangelization of Britain through bad dad puns, more miracles than you can shake a stick at, hot grapes and too many eyes.
And thanks to Ben Vanbuskirk of Fukushima Laser Shark for our Gregory Ditty, and Totalus Rankium for Gregory singing!
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Pope Abstemius was dealt a pretty bad hand, as far as Amber Popes go. Following Durranet's ill-fated crusades, Abstemius was stuck with an Order of Truth that no one really cared for and a rival that undermined his every action. In his two-part episode, we'll discuss Abstemius's return to classic traditions, his relationship with the foolhardy antipope Paloma, and the magic of something called "Christmas."
(Bry and Fry play Numenera! We had an absolute blast with the wonderful cast of Quest Friends!, playing as the Amber Pope and Antipope in the fractured Order of Truth)
Listen to Quest Friends! https://questfriendspodcast.com
Music Credits "Friends" by Miracle of Sound (YouTube: https://youtu.be/uH-8TDe5s-E, Bandcamp: https://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/friends-2)
"A Funny Quirky Waltz" by AlisterBunclark: https://audiojungle.net/item/a-funny-quirky-waltz/20487898?ref=AlisterBunclark…
"Lobby Time" by Kevin MacLeod: http://incompetech.com "Hitoshio" by Miracle of Sound (YouTube: https://youtu.be/m5Ahfl6gcH4, Bandcamp: https://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/hitoshio)
Additional Music from Motion Array: https://motionarray.com
The papacy of Pope Pelagius II is fortunately blessed with more sources than poor Pope Benedict I, although the sources exist almost exclusively to pay attention to his future successor. But it is a busy time with Lombards, Franks, and the first confirmed outbreak of smallpox in Rome. In his episode, we say a sad goodbye, start the Ecumenical Patriarch feud, and come back to dicks out for celibacy!
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Pope Benedict, the first of many eggs, exists in the period of chaos caused by the invasion and establishment of the Lombard Kingdom, so information is scarce. In his episode, we'll discuss the political developments of the Lombards, the current state of Rome, another holy Benedict, and wargs.
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Pope Silky Dog chose to be a John, but we're not sure when. We're not sure about quite a lot of things, because we've hit a medieval shrouding. And yet, in his episode, we are still able to discuss the distinction of the 'Byzantine Papacy' period, the introduction of the Lombards into Italy, the Exarch, Narses, and even a return to living in the catacombs!
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We last left Pelagius arrested and imprisoned in a monastery, AND excommunicated, having denounced Pope Vigilius. But thanks to a strong bond with the Emperor Justinian, he still ended up as the next Pope.
In his episode, we'll discuss his many diplomatic roles, more roman sacking, his dramatic efforts to clear his name from scandal, more diptychs, and how Fry says 'picture' weird.
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The fifth Ecumenical Council of the church was about Monophysitism! Or Nestorianism! Wait, its both! And the Three Chapters are caught in the middle. Its also political intrigue and boycott bolstering and character assassination, doesn't that sound like a good time?
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Bry and Fry talk about their experiences at Sound Education, as well as their wonderful adventures in Boston and Salem and the wonderful people they spent time with!
Buckle in for a wild ride.
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Pope Silverius, son of Pope Hormisdas assumed the papacy in a very unconventional way - and it's not nepotism! In his episode, we discuss King Theodahad's scramble to stave off Emperor Justinian, plots to make the papacy Monophysite friendly, and another seige on Rome. Come for the schemes, stay for the ultimate scandal!
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In this episode, we talk about the controversial upheaval of the Ostrogothic Kingdom, the arrival of the Imperial John Wick, new precedents set in Constantinople, and some really negative feelings about mustache preservation.
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ope John II AKA "Poor Devil" was the first pope to take a pontifical name! In this episode, we discuss the first crackdown on simony in the church, the budding relationship of the church and Emperor Justinian, and long long men (listen to the end!)
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Pope Boniface is the pope who was never supposed to be, and is only accepted on a technicality. In his episode, we discuss the outcomes of popes choosing their own successors, an extremely complicated but short lived antipapacy, and the sexiest of oranges.
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Pontifacts is appearing at Sound Education Conference this year, giving a talk on the wildest papal elections in history!
Sound Education is October 9-12 in Boston, Massachusetts.
Find out more here:
https://www.soundeducation.fm/
Register here:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sound-education-2019-an-educational-audio-conference-tickets-58605170643
Pope John I, aka "Blue Hook", was an old man by the time he was elected to the papacy - which made King Theoderic's demands on him all the more unreasonable. In his episode, we will discuss the shifting dynamic between the Ostrogothic West and the newly re-orthodox Byzantine East, new expressions of papal primacy in Constantinople, and what happens when you accomplish exactly what a paranoid jealous king wanted you to do.
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Symmachus comes into the papacy after an extreme divide between the Pro-Byzantine and Pro-Ostrogothic factions. And divides usually lead to antipopes! In this episode, we'll discuss the Laurentian Schism, the lasting implications of the Palmary Synod, and what happens during 4 years of violence.
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Poor maligned Pope Anastasius II is forever immortalized in one of the most famous literary works of all time - Dante's Inferno! Join us as we introduce Dante and the Divine Comedy, and explore the sixth ring of hell, reserved for blasphemers and heretics. This is where Anastasius lives now.
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Anastasius II approached the Acacian Schism with conciliation and a desire to make peace ... and he's going to hell for it.
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Gelasius is our third and final African pope! And more than the other African popes, he raises questions about race.... sort of. In his episode, we discuss the ongoing and far from ended Acacian Schism, the Duo Sunt and its thousand year legacy -- and the Lupercalia!
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Our first "medieval" pope entered the papacy between a steady western kingdom, a chaotic eastern empire, and a sorely persecuted Africa. In his episode, we discuss the official outbreak of the Acacian Schism, the ongoing battle of the Henotikon, and so many diptychs.
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Pope Simpl*cius, besides providing excellent inspiration for 00's pop bands, was pope through a series of major turning points for papal history. He would be forced to contend with the FALL OF ROME and the rise of Odoacer, the chaos in the Empire with Zeno and Basiliscus, as well as both the Enkyklikon and the Henotikon! Much nail biting ensues.
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The name says it all... or does it?
Re-released to include the Hilarius sketch and song from Rob and Jaime at Totalus Rankium!
(From episode 81. Anthemius: https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/e/81-anthemius/)
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Pope Leo I is one of only two popes to officially earn "the Great" epithet, and is by far the most significant church leader in the early church. He had a prolific international career long before his papacy, and he would go on to be an absolute giant of history. In his episode, we discuss the various ways he consolidated papal primacy as a real thing and drove off the major heresies of the day, the christological debates of the 5th century and the major steps towards orthodoxy, and how an old man pope stood up to the fiercest threats that Rome had ever faced. And thanks to Ben Vanbuskirk of Fukushima Laser Shark for our Leo Ditty!
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The first papal name to get a second, also is the first to get a third! In his episode, we discuss potential Pelagian patronage, the ongoing conflict between Cyril of Alexandria and John of Antioch, and.... SOMETHING.
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Pope Celestine invites you to join him on his world tour! This papacy left its fingerprints on Gaul, Italy, Africa, Illyria, Britain and...Ireland! In his episode, we discuss the inception of Nestorianism, the Council of Ephesus, and Augustinian love letters that say hi.
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Ol'Bonny came into the papacy right in the middle of the deep clerical divides caused by Pope Zosimus - which is how you get antipopes. Despite being a perfect (albeit unwilling) candidate, he will have fight to defend his election, and then scramble to fix the problems initiated by his predecessor. Side note: Bry was actively losing her voice throughout the entire recording of this episode, apologies for weirdness.
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Pontifacts is 1 year old! Join us for an amusing recap of our popey journey thus far, and an AMA session - and THANK YOU for being a part of our podcast!
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The first pope of the too-obvious name was "energetic about heretics", and for establishing papal power through distant authorities. But this is a milestone episode, because we have a handful of MAJOR things to cover: John Chrysostom. The Visigothic Sack of Rome. Pelagius. Buckle in!
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Pope Anastasius, our "model of piety and sanctity" wins quite a reputation from the contemporary figures of the day, and crush-prone priests. But is it a deserved reputation, when we have so little to credit him for? In his episode, we go back to the origin of Origen, explore the diss tracks of Tyrannius Rufinus and Jerome, find another Eusebius, and speculate about potential papal progeny.
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Pope Siricius really hated heretics, and when monks or nuns were banging in the monasteries. In this episode, we discuss the earliest preserved papal decretals in history, early church policy on clerical celibacy, and why 'Vicious Siricius' is a sassy drag biatch.
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In our greatest Athanasius Interlude yet, we are joined by Johnathan Adly from the History of the Copts Podcast, to fully dig into the much exiled Patriarch of Alexandria, Athanasius! In this episode, we discuss all things Athanasius, as well as the character of the Eastern early church, the state of the empire, the power of the papacy, and how all of this ties into Coptic Christianity!
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Pope Damasus is certainly a giant of the early church. He ensured a lasting legacy by vigorously asserting papal primacy, officially defining orthodoxy and doctrine, and putting his name and terrible poetry on epitaphs everywhere. And thats all without saying anything of the scandals, schisms and murder!
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In this week's episode, we covered the exile of Pope Liberius following his refusal to condemn Athanasius and sign a Semi-Arian creed. A version of how this meeting between the Pope and Emperor Constantius II might have gone has been preserved in Theodoret's Ecclesiastical Histories, Chapter 13. Ergo, its time for a dramatic reading!
Thank you to David Shealy for providing several voices! Theodoret's Ecclesiastical Histories: http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/27022.htmSupport Pontifacts:
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Pope Liberius would rather die than deny his faith or condemn Athanasius. He tells us so at least twice. But Emperor Constantius is ready to call his bluff, with circumstances we haven't seen since Christian toleration. In this episode, we outline the bribery, the threats, the councils, the antipopes, and the alleged scandal that followed! Are you prepared for some co-poping?
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Pope Mark I witnessed many significant shifts during his early church career, so by the time he became pope, it was practically time for a break. In this episode, we introduce the Athanasius interlude, clerical fashion, and the merit of beards.
A special thank you to our friend Ben oFukushimama Laser Shark for the music for our new segment.
Show notes:
Papal Ring of Pope Pius II: https://sammlung.mak.at/en/collection_online?id=collect-22068&fbclid=IwAR1c-biPNqKitoVsIHaFMTxhpJ0yAKlXzEV823gnUVSwRAbv-YBbkwtNv-4
The Tomb of Mark: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/03/Tomb_of_Pope_Mark.jpg/800px-Tomb_of_Pope_Mark.jpg
"Why is That" Podcast Article on John Henry Newman:
http://whyisthatpodcast.blogspot.com/2018/05/saving-john-henry-newmans-legacy-how.html?m=1
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We have reached the papacy of the Council of Nicaea! But come back for that next week., because we're going to spend as much time on it this week as Sylvester did. In this episode, we will discuss his papacy, unpack legends, talk about a dragon, and yell at him to "go!"
Show Notes:
The Golden Legend Life of Saint Sylvester: http://catholicsaints.info/the-golden-legend-the-life-of-saint-silvester/
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Eusebius, not THAT Eusebius, didn't really have a chance. He probably should have stayed a physician.
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Marcellus came to the papacy in the lull of the brutal Diocletian persecutions. In this episode, we'll discuss how he did right by his predecessor, re-organized a devastated Church, and then got sucked into internal chaos under Heraclius the jerk.
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There is nothing we can say here without giving it all away. You're just going to have to listen.
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Pope Caius the Dalmatian was somehow related to one of the most important emperors in Roman history, and also maybe a saint. Also maybe that saint was faced with some incest? And maybe he was REALLY old when he became pope. This is an episode with many mysteries!
Show Notes:
Finger-Ring Lore: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/43707/43707-h/43707-h.htm
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Was Pope Eutychian even a pope at all? Historians will argue, and the mass destruction of Christian records during the Diocletian persecutions will obfuscate the answers. In this episode, we'll spend some time recapping the state of the empire, and then try to determine a feasible schedule to bury over 300 martyrs in 8 years.
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We're ringing in the new year with a new Pope, facing old problems!
In his episode, we'll look at the drastic lengths required to deal with pesky Paul of Samosata, how Queen Zenobia of Palmyra factors in, and maybe new, maybe old tradition of graveside martyrdom commemoration.
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It's a Pontifacts holiday surprise! Join Fry and Bry as we explore some ridiculous pope-themed gifts you COULD have bought for your loved ones this year, and strange gifts that recent popes have received!
We will post links to all of the things we are looking at in this episode on Facebook, check it out there!
https://www.facebook.com/pontifactspod/
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This episode is about Pope Dionysius. And Bishop Dionysius, and what Dionysius thought of Dionysius, Dionysius's correspondence with Dionysius, and of course, the Affair of the Dionysii.
Show Notes:
Writings of Dionysius: http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/dionysiusrome.html
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Pope Sixtus II is our first second! He is a heavy hitter in the early church, and his tomb is one of the most visited pilgrimage sites of the first martyrs. In this episode we discuss cults and beans, his famous saint companions, his bloody death, and his Renaissance depictions!
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Pope Stephen's papacy begins at a time where what is most needed is consistency, and continuity from the previous popes. And he delivers something entirely different instead. In his episode, we will discuss his papacy, his relationship with pope fanboy Cyprian, and try to separate him from two other popes he's often blended into.
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Pope Lucius doesn't have a whole lot of time to make his mark on the church, and he's going to have to spend much of that time on beach vacation. But there are still things to discuss! In this episode, we'll go over his life, his position on the new schism, and the impact his head has on demons.
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Pope Cornelius assumed the papacy in the midst of an extremely violent persecution, after the longest period of no-pope-ness that we've seen yet. Will he lead the church in a new unifying direction, or will he scramble with a fractured and decimated church? In this episode, we discuss his life, his fanboys, and common sense versus orthodoxy.
Show Notes:
The Letters of Cornelius: http://www.seanmultimedia.com/Pie_Cornelius_I_Letters.html
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Pope Fabian definitely has one of the most unique stories of the early Popes. As the first pope appointed by acclamation, he shook things up, and maybe made a few birb-friends along the way.
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Pope Anterus is one of the most unfortunate of the early popes, due to one of the shortest papacies in history. But in this episode, we seek to uncover if he did anything to make this short papacy substantial.
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Pope Pontian will set a precedent for the church that will resound through to very modern history, and forever change the way the office of Pope is perceived by the world. In this episode, we will discuss his life, his response to the antipope schism, and boopable noses.
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Surprise! Since Pope Urban I is the first pope to leave a lasting mark on famous world literature, we're celebrating with a bonus episode, reading 'The Second Nun's Tale', from Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales.
The Second Nun's Tale can be found online here: http://pinkmonkey.com/dl/library1/book0573.pdf
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Pope Urban sat on the papal throne, and all he got was the t-shirt... or some accounts would have you believe! But is this an accurate picture of a pope who has achieved literary immortality? In this episode, we will discuss his ordinations, his connection with Saint Cecilia, incorruptible saints, and whether or not he has been fairly judged by time.
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The Catholic Encyclopedia says: "If we knew more of Callixtus from Catholic sources, he would probably appear as one of the greatest of the popes." Instead, the sources we have are from his greatest critics. But is that a bad thing? His enemies have so much to say! In this episode, we discuss Callixtus's adventurous life, his scandalous policies, his cemetery, and determine whether he was a Saint, or a massive sinner.
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Pope Zephyrinus was 'a simple man, without education', or so we are told. In this episode, we will discuss Zephyrinus's life, his policies, and determine whether or not to take salty sources at face value.
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Pope Victor will instigate a lot of firsts for the church, and definitely leaves his mark on history. But is this to his benefit? In this episode, we will discuss Easter, AGAIN, the Pokemon evolution of Jesus, and whether or not Victor sacrificed babies.
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Eleutherius has been claimed as a symbol of national identity, but not at all in the way you would think! In this episode we will discuss what part he plays in a weird stepbrother syndrome, his thoughts about food, and whether or not he had something to do with a mythical English king.
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Pope Soter was not a SOTE, and we can say that with relative certainty because we can actually talk about his personality! In this episode, we discuss his life, penance, marriage, papal alms, and ask ourselves if being the goodest boi is bull-worthy.
Stay tuned at the end for an important segment of Popewatch.
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Surprise! We have a bonus episode to share Bry's Papal Audience experience, and for our exciting announcement - WE ARE NOW ON PATREON!
If you'd like to support the show and ensure tons of popey goodness for a long time to come, while being spoiled with bonus material, check us out at
https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod
Official summary from Bry's Papal Audience:
https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2018-08/pope-francis-general-audience-summary.html
Anicetus led a life that was "so blameless, that he was a model to every one of Christian perfection" - at least according to his biggest fan from the 1800s. In this episode, we discuss his positions on new heresy, his famous friends, and try to figure out just why Father Francis loves him so much.
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This episode is about Pope Pius I! Or at least, it tries to be, while also touching on all the major figures of second century Christianity that outshone him, including his own brother. We'll discuss Pius's life and contributions, and decide whether or he is an overshadowed gem, or a needle in a haystack.
Shepherd of Hermas translation: http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/text/shepherd-lightfoot.html
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Pope Hyginus, or Inigo (insert Princess Bride reference here), is said to have held the papacy in a time of relative peace. But is that true? How recent, or short was this peace? In this episode, we will discuss Hyginus's life, heretics, and church hierarchy, which he may or may not have had anything to do with.
Also, Deacon Dad.
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Telesphorus started his life in a very different way than the rest of our earlier popes, but this may have made him the perfect candidate for the time. In this episode, we'll discuss where he might have come from, and why he is the Hallmark Card Pope of the Holidays.
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Sixtus I, or Xystus has a short episode of shortness, but he still managed to make a few contributions that make for interesting discussion! This week, we'll discuss apostolic letters, no-touchy, and nicknames for bald people.
Make sure to note the announcement of the Summer scheduling change!
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Pope Alexander I was the first pope to have connections in the imperial court - and this would have significant impact on the Roman Christian world, especially for Alexander himself. This week we will discuss his early life, the conversions of his papacy, and the debate over where he ended up in the end.
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Evaristus 'dat pope guy' suffers from a lack of information and sources, but there is still fun to be had! In this episode, we discuss his intense commitment to church ordinations, his distinctive facial expressions, and whether or not it is better to be nommed, or beheaded.
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Pope Clement I arguably has one of the most interesting lives of the early popes, and not just because of the fan fiction written about him! In this episode, we tackle his fantastical life story, his dramatic legacy, and how he is still relevant in 2018.
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Pope Anacletus... or Pope Cletus... or both? Our third pope has contributed quite a lot to the confusion of the early papal orders. In this episode, we'll examine his lasting contributions of the papacy, and decide once and for all if he is one or two people.
Side Note: Fry's audio is a bit warbly in this episode; chalk it up to growing pains of the new podcast!
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Our second and lesser known Pope, Linus, had a big act to follow. But he was a talented preacher that drew many converts to the church, and irritated whole cities. In this episode we look at his life, his lips, and ask the question: Is he worthy of a papal bull?
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Our first Pope, St. Peter, is the rock on which the Catholic Church was built – but was this a wise decision? In this episode, we discuss Peter’s life and death, his habit of being a two-faced douche who wrecks parties, and whether or not we think he can defend his circular friends at the end!
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What is a Pope? What does a Pope do? What is an average day for a Pope? These questions answered, and more, in the second half of our series introduction!
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Welcome to Pontifacts; ranking all the Popes from Peter to Francis! In this light-hearted, only slightly blasphemous podcast, Bry and Fry go through the lives of the Pontiffs, and rate them based on our very valid and not subjective at all categories, to determine which Pope was the popiest Pope that ever Poped.
In this episode, we introduce our concept, our ranking rounds, and discuss how to become a Pope!
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En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.
