Secret Handshake

Heads up! The boys are back, talking about the haunted multiplex attractions offered by Dark Castle Entertainment during the late '90s/early aughts, slathering some gory love on Jaume Collet-Serra's HOUSE OF WAX redux. Who wants to see Paris Hilton take a pole to the head? We do!

The second film from sturdy genre workman Stephen Hopkins to enter the SH collection (following the gory glory of PREDATOR 2), Marten gets to wax lyrical about everything from Dennis Leary to bloodthirsty lions to Gene Hackman's addiction to Puerto Rican prostitutes. Don't play yourself and tune in now.

Because "belated" is our middle name, the boys sit down and discuss the best movies they saw in 2023, which cover everything from Copenhagen Cowboys, Italian race-car magnates, and Leo's teeth. Tune in and zone out.

It's a new year and the boys are here to protect the hive. In celebration of THE BEEKEEPER, Jason Statham's latest bit of bald badassery, Jacob and Marten dive down a rabbit hole filed with headbutts, foul language, and kung fu to try and figure out what makes Statham one of our essential action stars. It's possible no one survives.

Feliz Navidad fuckfaces! For the last episode of '23, Jacob and Marten throw one of the sleaziest slashers of all time into the canon: the nasty killer Santa body count opus, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT. Just so you know, you're all NAUGHTY on our list.

We're back baby! After a (too long) hiatus, the boys sit down with Ridley Scott's long, winding filmography, ultimately ending on BLACK RAIN being their favorite. Oh, and they also check out a little (pun intended) French Emperor named Napoleon while they're at it. Secret Handshake returns!

2023 has Dracula Fever!* To celebrate, the boys revisit Francis Ford Coppola's phantasmagoric experimental interpretation of Bram Stoker's infamous novel, before traversing down the cinematic history of the world's most iconic vampire. We vant to suck yo blood!*Well, not really, according to box office reports.

Separation can be so terrifying. To celebrate the new Amazon limited series remake, the boys revisit David Cronenberg's 1988 art house classic about twin gynecologists. Who's ready for hours of graphic childbirth?

They called me...Mr. Glass! In celebration of Night's newest spookfest (KNOCK AT THE CABIN), the boys break down Shyamalan's ahead of the curve secret superhero opus, UNBREAKABLE, and how it fits into the rest of the auteur's odd, idiosyncratic body of work.

Gather 'round, lovers, as the boys regale you with the ballad of Harry Warden, celebrating Cupid's favorite holiday with what might be the greatest slasher film of all time?

When the moon is full, the boys become Constant Readers, hanging out with their drunk uncle Gary Busey and reminiscing about all the Stephen King flicks they've loved (and hated) over the years, starting with the famed horror author's small town werewolf epic, SILVER BULLET.

That's a wrap! The boys get together with Brandon to talk about their fave flicks of '22.

Jacob and Marten discover that they really groove on THE WAY OF WATER and discuss the movie that started James Cameron's incessant need to improve the blockbuster for generations of movie fans. Is TERMINATOR 2 the greatest sequel of all time? Possibly.

Autobiography is the running theme of '22, so the boys read Quentin Tarantino's new book ("Cinema Speculation") and then revisited his Proustian masterpiece, ONCE UPON A TIME IN...HOLLYWOOD to try and zero in why all these old masters are looking to put themselves on screen.

Tonight is what it means to be young. The boys looks back on the filmography of Walter Hill and wonder aloud if he's one of the finest action cinema storytellers who ever lived.

Todd Field is back, baby. To celebrate the writer/director's first movie in 16 years - the Cate Blanchett classical music cancel culture drama TÁR - the boys look back on his entire filmography through the lens of where it all began: with the Bergmanesque New England domestic tragedy, IN THE BEDROOM.

Heeeeeeyyyyy Kiddies, it's the sinister start to Season Four! This week, the boils dig up the Cryptkeeper's first frightmare feature: Demon Knight! Will they survive this twisted treat? Or will this be their last Halloween? Find out in this ghoulish gab session. Cue Cryptkeeper Cackle!

Evil dies tonight! David Gordon Green brings home his HALLOWEEN trilogy with HALLOWEEN ENDS, and the boys decide to go long on how all three of these films fit together to create a somewhat coherent whole (and if HALLOWEEN KILLS gets any better on repeat viewing). Plus, we debate the merits of newly minted Tiger Beat sensation Corey Cunningham.

Spooky Season is upon us, and so is a new Hellraiser movie. To celebrate both, Jacob and Marten dive into the problematic franchise and the work of it's notorious creator, Clive Barker. Stay tuned, we have such sights to show you.

The Season Three finale sees the boys discussing possibly the most formative movie of their lives, Michael Mann's HEAT, and how the writer/director's new sequel novel, HEAT 2, plays like a Greatest Hits record for his entire career.

In celebration of Greg Mottola's CONFESS, FLETCH, the boys revisit Chevy Chase's '80s noir comedy classics so that they can compare notes and see how Jon Hamm's latest iteration of the character stacks up to both the SNL vet, and author Gregory Mcdonald's original dime store vision.

Cody's back with the boys just in time to talk about the formative '90s nerd slacker comedy of Kevin Smith. Take a ride with them back to the Quick Stop and hang with Dante and Randall to cover the CLERKS trilogy and how those movies (along with Smith's other cinema) have aged over the years.

The boys take you to the bank (the BLOOD BANK!) with Steven Seagal's run all night Brooklyn scumbag showcase as they explore the early awesome years of the aikido master's cinematic career. And really, they just wanna know: anybody seen Ritchie? Eyyyyyy!

Sorry kids, Summer's over! In this final installment of SH's summer camp cinema mini-series, the boys jump on jet skis with Corey Feldman, dodge a faux Jason's chainsaw, and finally reflect on their childhood's with a forgotten '90s adult melodrama. The sun has set and it's time for Fall, so let's bring this kooky movie vacation to a close.

Part three of the boys' summer camp cinema series sees them taking a summer job at Mean Gene's rowdy lakeside bar in MEATBALLS III, stalking bloody pom poms in CHEERLEADER CAMP, and finally diving headfirst into hardcore porn with Gary Graver's SUMMER CAMP GIRLS. Make sure to bring your jimmy hats, because this episode is very, very horny.

Was that a *LISP*? The boys pile back into the school bus and head back to camp for part two of their farewell to summer hijinks, covering three more entries into the horniest teen canon: MEATBALLS 2, MADMAN, and ODDBALLS!

In another SH mini-series, the boys say farewell to summer with a four part tribute to the MEATBALLS movies, starting the Bill Murray starring comedy classic. In true Handshake fashion, one film was not enough, so they paired it with the '81 bloodbath THE BURNING, and the undervalued coming of age cabin classic, LITTLE DARLINGS.

Get to tha Choppah! To celebrate the release of PREY, the boys run through the entire PREDATOR series, including the sweaty, nasty LA psycho cop future noir that is PREDATOR 2. Your move, Pussyfaces.

Live every week like it's Shark Week. The boys throw another marathon and blast through a bevy of great white attacks in order to celebrate the glory that is shark movies. At the top of their list: Johannes Roberts' underwater descent into albino shark madness 47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED.

The boys head back to the Big Apple to explore four more entries into the NYC Grime canon, including the unwoke, perverse, smash 'em up opus that is NIGHT OF THE JUGGLER (1980).

The boys bring it home with the fourth and final installment of their mini-series tribute to Nic Refn's magnum streaming opus, TOO OLD TO DIE YOUNG, but not before tossing in some analysis of it's spiritual prequel, THE NEON DEMON, for good measure.

Volumes 6 + 7 of TOO OLD TO DIE YOUNG try Marten's patience, while Jacob argues it's where Nic Refn's epic act of prog rock cinema really starts to congeal into something all its own. As an added bonus: Refn's doom metal Viking opus, VALHALLA RISING.

Jacob and Marten continue down the lost highway of TOO OLD TO DIE YOUNG with Volumes 4 + 5, hunting pedophiles and, eventually, rape porn peddlers as Viggo enlists Marten in his quest to cleanse the planet of sex pests. Also up for discussion: Nicolas Winding Refn's stone masterwork of chase film fetishism, DRIVE (2011).

The boys take a break from their usual Season Three shenanigans to deliver a four part, in-depth dissection of Nicolas Winding Refn's thirteen-hour dronecore L.A. crime opus, TOO OLD TO DIE YOUNG. Also up under the SH microscope: Refn's breakout work: the Tom Hardy prion brawl picture, BRONSON (2008).

Death to Videodrome. Long live the New Flesh. This week, the boys dig into one of their all time favorite filmmakers: David Cronenberg. Does his latest sci-fi transmission, CRIMES OF THE FUTURE, fit in with the rest of his body of work? Find out.

We're feeling the need...the need for speed! Jacob and Marten hop into the cockpit of Tom Cruise's highly anticipated legacy sequel, TOP GUN: MAVERICK, and dissect the career of one of our all time finest movie stars.

Marten really gets one for him, as he and Jacob discuss the charms of low budget monster movie-making, starting with everybody's favorite indescribable turtle beastie in THE BOOGENS.

Jacob and Marten tool up and get their body parts replaced with cybernetic organisms before getting down and dirty with NEMESIS and the filmography of trash action maven Albert Pyun. Is it better to be more human than human when watching these movies? You bet your ass it does.

You're doomed...you're all doomed! Brandon's back on the pod with the fellas, talking everybody's favorite murderous mama's boy: Jason Voorhees. In celebration of the special stalker's birthday, Secret Handshake presents the drunkest conversation ever had about Friday the 13th flicks.

Marten and Jacob celebrate the mind melting Summer of '97, particularly the fact that CON AIR and FACE/OFF - two of the most insane studio action films of all time - were released within weeks of one another. Plus, the boys dive into the meta Nic Cage nonsense that is THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT.

HAAAAAAAARK! The boys do their research and dive into the filmography of Robert Eggers, including his latest: the über-bloody viking revenge saga, THE NORTHMAN.

The official start of Season 3 sees Jacob and Marten attempting to tackle Pascal Laugier's MARTYRS and the films of the New French Extremity, making themselves super bummed, scared and grossed out in the process.

The boys demonstrate just how hard they're ready to ride or die for Michael Bay's brand of gonzo action cinema, breaking down his entire filmography before discussing his latest: the coked up drone bank robbery roller-coaster, AMBULANCE.

The doctor is in (sort of)! As they attempt to duck watching Jared Leto's MORBIUS, the boys revisit Wesley Snipes' iconic day-walking vampire hunter, Blade. Oh yeah, they do get to Leto's bloodsucker, eventually, albeit begrudgingly.

While the boys continue to work out the Season 3 deets, they check out X at SXSW and then go on a bender of Ti West's peculiar brand of horror cinema.

We're in-between seasons, but that didn't stop the boys from bingeing a whole bunch of RPattz and then talking about his turn taking on the cape and cowl in Matt Reeves' THE BATMAN. In this Bonus Episode, we become vengeance!

Will somebody, please, get these boys some guns. Jacob and Marten square off against SH regular Simon Abrams, who unloads a full clip into the JOHN WICK franchise. But does he nuke the boys' minds? Tool up and find out.

For the Season 2 finale, Jacob and Marten boil down nine Texas Chain Saw films (including the latest Netflix entry) to their disreputable essence and then shoot them directly into the main vein. Who will survive and what will be left of them?

Set the diving depth for schlock! For Spine #26, Jacob and Marten travel back to '89 and dissect the underwater horror boom that arrived in response to James Cameron's THE ABYSS. The brilliant filmic foam produced by this saltwater wave? George P. Cosmatos' goopy, mean creature feature, LEVIATHAN.

The boys throw on some rocket skates and decide to jump the LA river with the greatest mondo stuntmen who ever lived. It's our JACKASS episode!

A "one for us" rabbit hole episode of the highest order, Jacob recommends the oeuvre of James Bridges to Marten, and much beer swilling, bull-riding, and fist-fighting occurs because of it. It's the mechanical bull extravaganza, URBAN COWBOY!

For our latest barrage of bad takes, Cody thinks Chris Nolan's high-minded action movie COVID bomb is "dumb", causing Jacob and Marten to clutch their pearls.

What's your favorite scary movie? Jacob and Marten go long on their love for Wes Craven, wrestle with their feelings about the SCREAM franchise as a whole, and then tackle the latest installment in the murderous trials and tribulations of Sidney Prescott, Gail Weathers, Deputy Dewey, and Ghostface.

To celebrate one of their favorite directors, Jacob and Marten commit almost three hours to Paul Thomas Anderson's operatic San Fernando Valley melodrama, MAGNOLIA. But why is Marten so resistant to the auteur's BIG emotions? Find out now.

And that's a wrap on Secret Handshake's first year of existence. But what were the boys' favorite films of 2021? Jacob and Marten compare notes on the modern movies they watched in-between ingesting every cult classic under the sun.

For the final episode of 2021, Jacob and Marten wax on about the ultimate movie bromance: Burt Reynolds and Hal Needham. But why is the life of a Hollywood stuntman so thrilling? Crack some cold Coors and find out.

Our 20th spine number sees wild tentacle abortion monsters being added to the Secret Handshake canon, as Jacob and Marten explore the slimy wonders of THE KINDRED, as well as the rest of Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter's low budget horror output.

Y'all musta thought it was White Boy Day, huh? Cody's back in town for Thanksgiving and we're talkin' Tony Scott! The master of '90s disaster gets the Secret Handshake treatment as we dive into his timeless Tarantino collaboration, TRUE ROMANCE.

Room service motherfuckers! This week, Jacob and Marten head to Abel Ferrara's grimy vision of New York City to watch Chris Walken battle cops and rival gangs as the iconic Frank Black. Get the shower ready, this is real gutter cinema.

In the second installment of the Bad Opinions Podcast, Marten attempts to justify why he hates the seminal Stephen King prison picture. Cody and Jacob disagree.

The boys travel to beautiful Phoenixville, Pennsylvania and experience 25 hours of 35mm horror madness. With Special Guest Simon Abrams!

The antithesis of "Secret Handshake", "Dealbreakers" covers the movies opinions your friends hold that make you rethink your entire relationship. Kicking it off: Jacob says Zombie's slasher sequel is a masterwork. Cody and Marten do not concur.

This week, Marten assigns Jacob a ton of homework as they explore the Ranown Cycle of Westerns that saw Budd Boetticher, Randolph Scott and Burt Kennedy churning out some of the best matinee gunfighter fare in the history of cinema.

This week, Cody returns to the pod and brings out the inner Goth teenager in both Jacob and Marten by making them revisit '90s supernatural revenge staple THE CROW.

An early audible in Season Two sees Jacob and Marten tackling MIDNIGHT MASS and the terrifying film career of Mike Flanagan. Is this the best Stephen King adaptation (that's not actually based on a King novel?). Find out in super-sized Spine #15.

The start of a new Secret Handshake: Jacob and Marten usher in the series' second season with SHAKEDOWN, James Glickenhaus' ultraviolent NYC Grime two-handed buddy cop action extravaganza. Grab your Uzi, this one goes off the rails.

For the season finale, Jacob, Cody and Marten go long on Craig Denney's tough-to-see masterpiece of DIY outsider art. Psychedelia and Moody Blues tunes abound.

Fair is fair! Jacob, Marten and Cody tackle the very best teen movie in existence and dissect how it might also be the very first #metoo movie ever. Helen Slater. Christian Slater. Keith Gordon. Fire up your motor scooters, we're headed to Texas!

(Programming Note: this episode was originally recorded as "Spine #7" before we called an audible and did THE EMPTY MAN with David Prior at the last minute. Please excuse the odd mis-numbering in the intro.)

The boys took a few months off due to "life complications", but are back with one of the best action movies ever made: Kathryn Bigelow's mystical, violent, and utterly brilliant 1991 surfer/bank robber opus, POINT BREAK.

Jacob, Marten and Cody pick up Rutger Hauer and are subsequently terrorized by this stone classic of vehicular horror. Buckle up for two hours of deep dive analysis, Robert Harmon love, and bonus Vin Diesel trivia.

Spine #9 is all about slasher movies, as Marten introduces Jacob and Cody to one of his deep cut dead teenager favorites. But is the body count high enough to warrant Face Melter status? Find out over the next 100 minutes.

For the eighth spine number in the Secret Handshake collection, Marten, Jacob and Cody choose their own weapons and duel to the death over Battle Royale: Kinji Fukasaku's extreme cinema classic that's still infamous to this day. Get ready for a bonkers verbal throw down that shows no mercy.

Jacob, Marten and Cody begin the back half of Season One by tossing out a programming curve ball: 2020's deathdrone epic, THE EMPTY MAN. But does David Prior's mishandled supernatural mystery already belong in the pantheon of great underseen art? Or did Fox and Disney do the right thing burying this idiosyncratic oddity? The boys hash it out.

Jacob and Marten beamed a bunch of fest movies into their eyeballs and then spit out as many opinions as they could muster in a little over 100 minutes. What were some of their favorites from the fest? What did they hate? Is fest hype still a thing in the all-digital era? Find out now!

The midway point of Season One brings a super stylish serial killer thriller from Michael Mann. But is this the best Hannibal Lecter adaptation to ever make it to the big screen screen? Jacob, Marten and Cody investigate.

For Spine #5, Cody picks Berry Gordy and Michael Schultz's Motown-funded Blaxploitation martial arts epic. If you don't dig it, you can kiss our Converses.

Spine Four in the Secret Handshake Collection is Ivan Passer's bleak, melancholy LA neo noir, featuring a career best turn from John Heard and Jeff Bridges quietly adding another rogue to his eclectic gallery. But can something this sad also be a Certified Facemelter? Let's find out.

For Spine #3, Marten selects John Woo and Jean-Claude Van Damme's total scorcher of an American pairing, as Lance Henriksen hunts homeless humans and Wilford Brimley spits indecipherable Cajun gibberish. A POO-POO TAN!

For the second spine in the SH collection, Cody selects Lance Mungia's DIY post-apocalyptic action freakout, starring Hong Kong stuntman Jeffrey Falcon as a blade-wielding Buddy Holly. But will Buddy become the King of Lost Vegas? More importantly: will Six-String Samurai be deemed a Certified Facemelter? Let's get swinging.

For the inaugural episode of Secret Handshake, Jacob picks John Flynn and Paul Schrader's total ripper of a 'Namsploitation revenge picture. Starring: Billy Devane, Tommy Lee Jones, and Linda Haynes, ROLLING THUNDER is one of the ultimate slices of savage Texas genre cinema. But is it a Certified Facemelter? Stay tuned.