40. Six ways to work effectively with difficult interactions

This week I give you 6 steps and things to think about. We will work within the Drama Triangle map. Coupled with the Blame work from a couple of weeks ago, it’s a powerful combination for transformation and change!

And if you’ve done the Drama Triangle work with me already (I know many of you have taken my drama triangle workshop) – listen anyway. This work is about layers and peeling those back.

In case you aren’t familiar with the Karpman Triangle, it represents the dynamics of unhealthy and manipulative relationships. Each corner of the triangle depicts a role that people play in the game of a dysfunctional relationship. One corner is the victim (please help me); one corner is the rescuer (the over-responsible, controller); and the third corner is the persecutor (the villain, the bully, the superior one).

So how do we escape these archetypes and create healthy conversations free from blame and invalidation of others?

The 6 steps I’ll talk about in this podcast are:

1. Realise that you are repeating a pattern. Stand back and observe your pattern.
2. Under any circumstance, do not become defensive. Keep a neutral attitude.
3. If you find yourself feeling like a victim, learn to take responsibility for yourself instead of blaming others for how your life is turning out.
4. If you find yourself feeling like you’re taking on too much responsibility, back off, allowing others to take on their own responsibilities, even allowing others to fail if that happens.
5. Refrain from the following: blaming, criticising, accusing, lecturing, scolding, monitoring, threatening, preaching, obsessing, over-reacting, or under-reacting. Instead, focus on being neutral. Ask yourself, “How can I bring a blessing to this situation?
6. Escape the FOG. FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, Guilt.

Rituals & Journeys

1. Go on a Journey with your Guides and ask to be shown a repeating pattern or behaviour that needs to shift for you. Ask to be shown in a clear and understandable way. Also ask for any actions (for example a ritual, apology, a life change) that you can take to start shifting that pattern or behaviour.
2. Go on a journey and ask for a ritual to carry out that will unhook us energetically from a person or situation that we find difficult to step away from or avoid being triggered by.

This could be a Fire Ceremony where you write down all your blame, hurt, guilt and fear and ask the fire to transform that for you.

If you need more confidence or support with ceremonial work click here for a free pdf to support you.

Podcasts episodes that support this episode

Episode 36

Episode 37

Episode 24

Don’t know how to Journey? No worries. I got you.

You can sign up for my free monthly live online introduction to Shamanism training here.