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Understanding Narcissism: Insights from Chantal Contorines

54 min • 4 december 2024

Narcissism: a word that conjures images of self-absorbed individuals, but what lies beneath the surface? For women caught in the web of narcissistic relationships, the reality is far more sinister. A silent epidemic, narcissistic abuse leaves deep emotional scars, eroding self-esteem and identity. Studies show that women exposed to such relationships experience significantly lower self-worth and higher rates of anxiety and depression1. The manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional turmoil can be devastating yet often go unrecognized. As we peel back the layers of narcissism, we uncover a complex world where women struggle to reclaim their power and heal from the invisible wounds inflicted by those who claim to love them.

In this episode, I am joined by Chantal Contorines, a coach specializing in helping parents navigate the challenges of co-parenting with narcissists. Chantal's mission is to empower individuals and their children to thrive despite these difficult circumstances. Drawing from her extensive experience, Chantal sheds light on the often misunderstood concept of narcissism and its devastating impact on relationships. She explores why narcissists are seemingly prevalent in today's society and offers invaluable insights on recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse. From the narcissist's inability to truly love to their manipulative tactics like gaslighting and coercive control, Chantal unravels the intricate web of narcissistic behavior. She also shares practical advice on creating boundaries, teaching children critical thinking skills, and, ultimately, finding the strength to break free from toxic relationships. Tune in to uncover the hidden truths about narcissism and learn valuable tools for healing and empowerment.

Timestamps

[00:20] About Chantal Contorines

[01:23] Chantal’s take on the buzzword narcissism and why narcissists are so many

[05:31] You are not alone in dealing with an abusive husband

[07:40] A narcissist is incapable of love

[12:18] You cannot imagine what narcissists think

[17:06] Narcissists have zero value

[20:40] Creating and enforcing boundaries in your life

[23:47] Critical thinking: Teaching children to know when you are being bad-mouthed

[27:26] Narcissists will gaslight you in the entire relationship

[33:24] About Chantal’s coaching program

[35:36] The meaning of coercive control

[42:20] What narcissists accuse you of is a reflection of what they are doing

[46:13] Getting out of their mocks

[51:16] Narcissists don’t really love their children

Notable Quotes

“It’s very rare for a true narcissist to actually be vulnerable.” - Chantal Contorines [02:23]
“Most people don’t realize that they are actually dealing with a narcissist until after they leave.” - Chantal Contorines [03:36]
“Abuse is so much more than a raised hand and a raised voice.” - Chantal Contorines [05:54]
“A narcissist will only ever feel secure through external validation.” - Chantal Contorines [18:39]
“You actually have so much power to positively impact and influence your children far more than you think you do.” - Chantal Contorines [22:50]
“Every narcissist is a coercive controller.” - Chantal Contorines [37:38]

Resources Mentioned