28: ADHD Parenting - More on Tips/Tools with Ashley Gobeil

On this week’s episode of Soaring Child, Ashley Gobeil shares specific tools to help kids with ADHD.

When an ADHD child is reacting to a situation emotionally, their brain has a “flipped lid” and the upstairs and downstairs parts of the brain aren’t working together. One way to deal with it is to name the emotion (name it to tame it) to validate the child’s feelings until they can calm down so the two parts of the brain come together again. Try to ride the wave of emotion with your child and maintain relational safety without judgment. Then your child will be able to access their problem-solving, logical side.

Another strategy is “connection before correction.” Use relational connection first to change behavior before trying to correct the behavior and deliver consequences. Do it with a level of kindness and empathy while holding firm to your parenting boundaries.

These strategies require practice and consistency to rewire both the parent’s and child’s brain over time, but they are effective tools to keep in your ADHD toolkit to support your child’s nervous system.

 

Key Takeaways:

[4:04] How ADHD kids get a flipped lid

[6:28] Validating your child’s emotions

[14:20] Using connection before correction to change behavior

[17:58] How to avoid the reactive parenting brain

[21:36] How to reconnect and repair after a rupture

[24:40] What to do if there are no natural consequences around a behavior

[29:35] Why consistency is important

 

How To Connect With Ashley Gobeil:

Jumpstart for Parenting: https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd

 

Memorable Quotes:

“It doesn't really matter if you don't get to the root of what is driving bad behavior. It's just showing them that you see it.”

“I try to step away from punishment and consequences because we know that it won't land. When the upstairs brain is gone, the logic's gone.”

“It’s important as parents to become really self-aware of what our triggers are.”

“What does repair look like? It’s not just saying sorry; it’s much more about connecting and having a calm conversation.”

“Consequences and punishments have very short-lived shelf lives. They often don't work sustainably in terms of regulation and behavioral change.”

 

Dana Kay Resources: 

Website - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/ 

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute 

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/ 

Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/

Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute  

 

International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/ 

 

Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl  

 

ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd

 

ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/