Teen Creeps

This week Kelly and Katai read INTO THE LAND OF THE UNICORNS by Bruce Coville, the story of a girl who must balance generational trauma with loving unicorns. They talk doing Chosen One without doing Chosen One, accessible fantasy, unicorns being cool, the unending pain of parental rejection, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE CHEERLEADERS by John Hall, the story of a girl whose former best friend cheats death so she can kill a bunch of bitchy girls who, oh yeah, also happen to be cheerleaders. They talk hating Holly, glimmers of a better book, rooting for the love interest for once, what we're watching, and the triumphant return of escape rooms!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE DOLL IN THE GARDEN by Mary Downing Hahn, the story of a ghost, a doll, and a bitchy old lady. They talk forgiveness, consumption, lying babies, bike dicks, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read TWILIGHT #1: DEADLY SLEEP by Dale Cowan, the story of a girl who gets swept up in an angry ghost's Macbeth centered revenge plot on a trip to Scotland. They talk real Macbeth facts, creepy blood licking, amateur photography, downplaying crazy behavior, and tea drinking being a huge red flag.

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read TWILIGHT #5: BLINK OF THE MIND by Dorothy Brenner Francis, the story of a girl whose parents join a Satanic country club and then she goes on a Princess Cruise. They talk lame songs for babies, setting your teenage ward up with a sea captain, covid and remote work, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE NANCY DREW FILES #117: SKIPPING A BEAT by Carolyn Keene, wherein our girl Nance has to solve the mystery of who's trying to sabotage a rock star's restaurant and never once suspects the actual culprit. They discuss Nancy's both willingness to cheat and unwillingness to be unprofessional, very boring page filler, how they'd respond to a teen detective getting up in their business, the pitfalls of having a small body and a large hog, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read HELP WANTED by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the story of a girl who takes a job for a rich family and ends up with three killers and two boyfriends. They talk villains so busy they need an assistant, crazy artist ghosts, the classic bleached blond and sandy brown dichotomy, gaslighting yourself, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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The Creeps are taking a week off, so here's a full episode preview from our Outside Genre Patreon feed!

Kelly and Katai discuss THE SECRET GARDEN by Frances Hodgson Burnett! Huge thanks to listener Christine for the book suggestion! They talk annoying cousins, lonely children, and perfect 90s adaptations!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read CHAMBER OF HORRORS #4: WAITING SPIRITS by Bruce Coville, the story of a family being haunted by… their family. They talk hunky but patronizing townies, cunty grandmas, crazy ghost moms, shitty dads with misplaced anger, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE DOLLHOUSE MURDERS by Betty Ren Wright, the story of a girl who has to confront some haunted dolls and her family's ableism. They talk loving this book, shitty florists, parents who treat their kids like unpaid nannies, MVP Kathy, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read DARK FORCES #1: THE GAME by Les Logan, the story of a girl who has a drama loving demon in her room and brain. They talk Conjuring exorcisms, demons making you mack on your sister’s boyfriend, boring Mozart boys, and only wanting strong milk fed men with strong milk fed femurs.

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET #26: THE MIND READER by R.L. Stine, the story of a girl who has visions and also a boy who has visions and neither of them can help solve a GOTDAMN MURDER. They talk gaping plot holes, dumb visions, the sister being the real hero, dads who are definitely in love with their daughters, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET SUPER CHILLER #12: HIGH TIDE by R.L. Stine, the story of a guy who did *not* kill his girlfriend via Kawasaki Jet Ski®. They talk personal watercraft brand names, unhinged therapy techniques, yet another unacceptable red herring, the evils of AI, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read STONEWORDS by Pam Conrad, the story of a girl who has to find a way to save the ghost best friend who lived in her house in 1870. They talk evocative writing, complex friendships, absent parents, and how saving a ghost from the clutches of time is exactly like replacing your bathroom sink's P-trap.

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET #43: ALL-NIGHT PARTY by R.L. Stine, the story of a group of teens who go out to celebrate their frenemy's birthday on an island and end up accusing each other of murder, as you do. They talk getting fooled by the villain, wanting more from the kill, protagonists cool with light domestic violence, the merits of letting your parents know you hate your boyfriend and his security knife, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read DEMON 2 by Samantha Lee, the better but not quite good sequel to Demon. They talk English sounding characters, interesting villains, wrong eras, nihilistic tone, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read FOLLOWERS by Anna Davies, another internet-centric entry in the early 2010s Point Horror reboot, this one a supposed Twitter horror story that left them both rolling their eyes. They talk not getting the Twitter voice, annoying characters, nonsense villain motivation, another lying back of the book blurb, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read WITCH CHILD by Celia Rees, a “found diary” 1600s witch trial story. They talk feeling too distant from the main character, frustrations with the format, oh by the way she’s an actual witch moments, nasty Puritan preachers, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read NIGHTMARE HALL: THE WHISPERER by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who steals a biology exam and gets whisper blackmailed into pranks. They talk a promising premise, lackluster protagonist, iconic villain, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE CALL by Peadar O’Guilin, a story of Irish teens getting punished by fairies for their ancestors' colonization sins in a Hunger Games style trial for which everyone is chosen. They talk difficult Gaelic pronunciation, bleak times, good characterization, freaky fairies, terrorism vs war, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read BUILD YOUR HOUSE AROUND MY BODY by Violet Kupersmith, a story of missing women, ghosts, smoke monsters, and the things that bind them. They talk looooooving the book, intersecting storylines, snakes snakes snakes, terrible Goodreads reviews, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read UNFORGETTABLE by Caroline B. Cooney, an infuriating lie of a mystery about a girl who gets wrapped up in an art heist and "loses" her memory. They talk unforgivable twists, twists that are unforgivable, and a twist ending that they CANNOT FORGIVE.

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read IN THE FORESTS OF THE NIGHT by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, the story of a vampire whose past has become her present, except the real story is that this was written by a 13-year-old. They marvel over the sophisticated storytelling, lament their own abilities at this age, get into the weeds of an Amelia Atwater-Rhodes Google search, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read a "new" entry in the Point Horror label, 2014's WICKEDPEDIA by Chris Van Etten, the touching story of a boy who accidentally gets his classmates killed through Wikipedia wordplay. They talk being pleasantly surprised, gruesome deaths, confuse their Chris Van Ettens, and more!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai were joined by Jordan Morris (Jordan Jesse Go!, Bubble) in reading NIGHTMARE INN: THE ATTIC by T.S. Rue, the story of four friends who hate each other and get gobbled up by a giant spider. They talk hot bellboys, incel bellboys, caribou romance, being the Allie, rooting for the spider, and more!

Pre-order Jordan's graphic novel YOUTH GROUP now! https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250789235/yout

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read FROM THE MIXED-UP FILES OF MRS. BASIL E. FRANKWEILER by E.L. Konigsburg, the 1968 children's classic about two awesome kids who run away and live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. They talk loving the writing and the kids, generally praise the book, and then accidentally devolve into a long conversation about the depressing and toxic state of the world and themselves. Have fun!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE by Annette Curtis Klause, the touching story of a werewolf girl who falls in love with a poseur chicken bitch human boy. They talk hating Aiden, liking Vivian, sexy werewolf times, the Age of Bingo, werewolf mating norms, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET: THE FACE by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl with amnesia who can't stop drawing a dead dude. They talk Truman Show therapy, the urban legend of coincidences between Lincoln and Kennedy, cool elements and bad execution, and Kelly reaches her breaking point with Twitter.

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This week Kelly and Katai read ROYAL DIARIES: CLEOPATRA VII, DAUGHTER OF THE NILE by Kristina Gregory, the touching story of Cleopatra when she was apparently at her most boring. They talk never choosing a Pilgrim-ass bitch, getting turned around which Ptolemy is which, Marc Antony being a perv, being pro-Christ pre-Christ, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read WHAT HOLLY HEARD by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a school gossip who gets killed for something totally unrelated to her gossiping. They talk hating your friends, sentimental hammers, wild hamsters, eclipses aka little C's, how to recognize one another's clones, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE BAD SEED by William March, the touching story of a homicidal sociopath who happens to be a nine-year-old girl with Heidi braids. They talk distant narrators, creepy girls, Christine taking forever to decide shit, hating Leroy, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE SILVER KISS by Annette Curtis Klause, the actually touching story of a girl who falls in love with a beautiful vampire boy while losing her mom to cancer. They talk loving the book, Simon's dorky first person narrative, giving teen problems their due, cry about a cat, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Sweet Valley High Correspondent and America's Sweetheart, Ryan Mogge, to talk SWEET VALLEY HIGH #110: DEATH THREAT by Kate William. They talk A+ side plots, Jessica being a waste of Wakefield DNA, lack of ghostwriter communication, Jeremy being a creeper, failed Bruce as Porsche AI, Todd's Hitler 'stache, and more!

Thank you to https://sixteenandperfectforever.wordpress.com/ for the recaps

Failed Bruce AI:

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https://getimg.ai/img/img-OkPDmIMAqvm13E8p6Zj4e

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This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Teen Creeps Lo Dunc Correspondent and the handsomest Lo Dunc boy, Patrick Ehlers (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sourcebook, Nintendo Cartridge Society) to discuss maybe the all-time worst entry in the Lo Dunc Verse, DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU, the story of the stupidest little idiot ever to enter into witness protection. They talk Lois Duncan writing her biases, Mommy Sues, THE LETTER (RIP Jim), accepting mediocrity, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE VAMPIRE DIARIES #1: THE AWAKENING by L.J. Smith, the story of two vampire brothers and the human girl who definitely only loves one of them. They talk missing Night World, Katherine's psychotic thruple or die ultimatum, how vampires need to stop enrolling in high school, debate a Dear Prudence letter that it turns out Katai largely misremembered, and do their very best German and Italian accents.

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This week Kelly and Katai read surprise gem WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING by Rosemary Wells, the story of a rising teen tennis star who questions everything when a rival drowns. They talk being happy with your hobby, toxic sports parents, classism, embodying white noise, and how Oliver English needs to get his own fucking life.

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This week Kelly and Katai read the middle grade classic WAIT TILL HELEN COMES by Mary Downing Hahn. They talk hating Heather even now, Dave being the absolute fucking worst, feeling for Helen, classic covers, and did they mention Dave fucking sucks?

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This week Kelly and Katai read SATI by Christopher Pike, the story of a blonde white woman who claims to be God and makes really good shortbread cookies. They talk meditation, the Love Has Won cult, God's terrible bedside manner, loving a small story, and reveal how little they know about the Dalai Lama.

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Happy Valentine’s Day! This week Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps Film Correspondent/ray of light Oscar Montoya (Minx, Eurovangelists) to discuss 1981’s “My Bloody Valentine.” They talk loving Hollis, the travesty of 3D, juicy jeaned men, the joys of being a miner, who deserves a musical comeback, and Katai has not one but two mom-brain moments.

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Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps All-Star Nick Wiger (Doughboys, Get Played) to talk about “Almost Lost: The True Story of An Anonymous Teenager's Life on the Streets,” another supposed Beatrice Sparks PhD “true story” that has them at their wits’ end. They talk unbelievable teen speak, irresponsible library cataloging, gangsta rap Satanism, Wooly Willy vs. Jesus, “therapy” that reads like fanfic, POS’ ‘TUDES, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: Book of Horrors" by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who gets a job with her favorite author and homicidal son. They talk hating your friends, Reed being basic af, getting attacked by birds, loving the villain's end speech, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Bearwood Witch" by Susan Price, the story of a girl, a witch, and the born again dweeb trying to save them both. They talk prideful witches, delightfully gross scenes, identity, and whether or not the universe has a moral arc.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Hit and Run" by R.L. Stine, the story of a boy who takes a corpse prank just a smidge too far. They talk hating your friends, hating your crush, hating Winks, our number one busiest corpse, pity versus empathy, sleepwalking, cookin', and BRANDT TINKERS.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Look for Me By Moonlight" by Mary Downing Hahn and ask the question, "Who's worse, the vampire or the divorced dad?" They talk abuse analogs, hating Jeff, old losers, relationship regrets, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang, the story of a white woman who steals her dead Asian friend's unpublished manuscript and is somehow surprised when she gets canceled. They talk online dread, the generational trauma of being racist, being unable to access greatness, and DISCOURSE, DISCOURSE, DISCOURSE.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Slay Bells" by Jo Gibson, the story of a bunch of drips in a mall getting killed by an evil Drip Santa. They talk the need for gentle bullying, being obsessed with your drip grandparents, hat on a hat killer motivation, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Natural Beauty" by Ling Ling Huang, the story of a piano prodigy who gets tricked into working at evil Goop. They talk slight sci-fi, second generation experiences, poor Helen, sad grandma dreams, the biology of hair vomit, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Missing Since Monday" by Ann M. Martin, the story of a girl whose mom kidnaps her sister. Oops! They talk Folgers Christmas siblings-level sexual tension, highly productive teens, hating Brad, slashed up bodies, fights with narcissists, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Broken Date" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who almost gets killed by a jewel thief because she won't just wear her fucking glasses. They talk incredible left field climaxes, coming untethered from reality, classic fakeouts, 1970s Disney animation, Rabbids Vs. Minions, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Silver Nitrate" by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, the story of a director, actor, and sound editor who restart a Nazi occultist's film spell in 1990s Mexico City. They talk repetitive narrative, nonsense root race theory, great characterization, tedious lore, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai venture back into fantasy with “The Poppy War” by R.F. Kuang, the first book in Kuang’s historical fantasy trilogy based on the second Sino-Japanese War of the early 20th century. They talk trauma trauma trauma, the Rape of Nanjing, bearing witness, how violence begets violence, the endless cycle of revenge, and more. CONTENT WARNING: due to the historical basis of the novel and our desire not to gloss over real events, there is graphic discussion of violence and rape, as well as mentions of suicide

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This week Kelly and Katai read Carolyn Keene's "The Nancy Drew Case Files #29: Pure Poison," the touching story of a probably corrupt, but definitely inept senator who needs a teenager to stop freedom of the press on her behalf. They talk Nancy being on the wrong side of history, Nancy channeling her inner Hilaria Baldwin, Nancy as an action hero, Nancy following orders instead of the truth, and more!

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Note: there were some audio issues that caused us to lose some of Ryan's audio in the first three minutes, and for that we sincerely apologize! But the rest of the ep is normal Mogge goodness! We promise!

This week Kelly and Katai are joined once more by their Sweet Valley Correspondent and star, Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping), to talk about "Sweet Valley University Super Thriller: The Roommate," created by Francine Pascal and written by Laurie John. They get into terrible relationship mistakes, Sloppy Joe Country Mice, gaslighting galore, the lack of Elizabeth, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Babysitter IV" by R.L. Stine, the fourth and final installment in Jenny Jeffers' babysitting nightmare. They talk maybe giving up the profession, Jenny's ongoing obsession with white-blond haired boys, lying ghosts, moms parking it at the local watering hole, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Insatiable Volt Sisters" by Rachel Eve Moulton, a new gothic ghost story with sea monsters and sisters! They talk sad girls, time jumps, beautiful prose, and just generally praise the shit out of the book.

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This week Kelly and Katai read “Curtains” by R.L. Stine, the story of a brave girl surrounded by theatre freaks at theatre camp doing blood pranks at her. They talk manipulative theatre directors, bitchy friends, troubled divorce kids, and how messed up a person has to be to fell a swan.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Thirst 3: The Eternal Dawn" by Christopher Pike, the seventh entry in his Last Vampire series. They talk similarities to the new Star Wars movies (sort of), not loving the Olympics, losing Sita's longing, unexplained body switches, and mercifully look up the word for something instead of making everyone wait 20 minutes in real time while they try to figure it out.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Horror High #4: New Kid on the Block" by Nicholas Adams, the story of a girl who kills to get a new life and also when she is annoyed. They talk being both Team Stephanie and Team Amanda, ugly charm bracelets, drip friends, shitty little stalkers, Elizabeth's embarrassing dance theme, and Katai makes a two year old TikTok recommendation.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "She Is a Haunting" by Trang Thanh Tran, a touching story of generational and colonial trauma as told through evil houses and bugs. They talk strong emotional themes, creepy visuals, being confused about the when and the where, cheering for Mom, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "How to Sell a Haunted House" by Grady Hendrix, a story of generational trauma told through evil puppets. They talk prickly siblings, compartmentalizing trauma, hating Pupkin, loving Barb, and more!

CW: this episode discusses sexual assault (not in detail)

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This week Kelly and Katai read “Fatal Magic” by Janice Harrell, a book that is decidedly not about an H.H. Holmes death house. They talk loving a nuanced main character, red flag magicians, and try (but fail) to remember the history of DUI infractions in American law.

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This week Kelly and Katai read “Deadly Detention” by Eric Weiner, aka Breakfast Club but make it horror, and talk surprising villains, some heinous fat shaming, having no choice but to stan a bitch, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Wicked King," the sequel to "The Cruel Prince" and second book in Holly Black's "Folk of the Air" trilogy. Jude and Cardan are back and denying their lust as much as ever! They talk games of throne, evil little bitches, getting outplayed, nursing at cats, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall #9: The Night Walker" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl who wants revenge and comes up with the most convoluted plan imaginable. They talk unsatisfying twists, bad plans, not-scary "violence," and Kelly begs everyone not to play as the Dark Urge in Baldur's Gate 3.

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This week unfortunately Kelly and Katai were both separately very sick! With different illnesses, no less! What are the freaky odds? So they could not record in time for this week's episode drop. As an offering to THE RAVENOUS CONTENT BEAST here is another Patreon Preview--this is one of our favorite OG books! We will rest up and be back with you soon, we promise!

Kelly and Katai talk Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman! HUGE thank you to Rob and Alissa Nephew for this month's book suggestion! WE LOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY BOOK! A truly charming and cozy whodunit that is shockingly poignant and FULL of twists and turns!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Flight #116 is Down!" by Caroline B. Cooney, the harrowing story of a plane crash and the wholesome teens it brings together. They talk thrashing, slow burn sex parties, dweeby children, what they're watching, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai give you a preview of their Patreon Outside Genre episodes, with Paul Tremblay's CABIN AT THE END OF THE WORLD! Thank you so much to Diana G for the beautiful book suggestion. This book sticks in your gut and makes you THINK! A story that will CHANGE YOU! A visceral, beautiful, cruel, and hopeful novel. We are ALL BEING TESTED! Read this book NOW if you haven't.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Graveyard Moon" by Carol Gorman, a story of homicidal drama at a small town grocery store. They talk dumb characters, The Curious Case of Natalia Grace, boringly straightforward plotting, and red herrings who just end up being the killer.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Blood Sinister" by Celia Rees, the touching story of a sickly girl who discovers through her great-great-grandmother's diaries that she might be part vampire? Maybe?? They talk intelligent characters, Rh antibodies and pregnancy, othering compliments, Enver Gjokaj, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Vampire's Love #2: Blood Spell" by Janice Harrell, the touching story of a fucking loser who doesn't understand that his vampire girlfriend is better than him. They talk shitty human boyfriends, overly convenient plotting, quick deaths, and go on an extended good parenting tangent.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "At Gehenna's Door" by Peter Beere, a rare UK Point Horror Unleashed that is very much NOT for babies. They talk FREAKINESS, maggots, being poour, NASTINESS, and invite listeners to cancel them for not wanting to fuck a gollum.

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Katai continues to be back on the podcast (oops) and this week she and Kelly covered "Nightmare Hall #7: Pretty Please" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl who gets pushed into a sliding glass door and then has to suffer the trauma of her mirrors being swathed in black cloth (TERRIFYING!!!). They talk the Gollum game, overreacting to fabrics and under-reacting to strangulation, and play a round of the hit new game "Christians or Weird Little Play?"

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Katai is back and to celebrate, she and Kelly went to the movies together IRL in order to cover Kelly Fremon Craig's adaptation of the Judy Blume novel, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret," both of which are committed to 1) sensitively telling the story of cis-girl puberty woes and 2) using punctuation in the title (although actually it's missing a comma before "God," but we'll forgive them). They generally gush over the film (pun intended) and talk fantastic performances, humanizing the 'rents, getting misty, as well as tangent on Harry and Meghan and (because we are who we are) annoying Twitter behavior.

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Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk Francine Pascal's SWEET VALLEY HIGH: CRASH LANDING! Poor Enid goes from being almost-dumped to being plane crashed, and Elizabeth does what she does best: manipulates her best friend into performing a miracle! Meanwhile, Jessica schemes to ask a European man in his 20s to her school dance!

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Lucas Eubank (What Even is This Podcast) joins Kelly for Paul Tremblay's HEAD FULL OF GHOSTS: a beautiful and heartbreaking and SCARY rumination on faith, truth, exploitation, and siblinghood. They talk creeping sisters, scary spaghetti, and exorcisms for nonbelievers.

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Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society) joins Kelly for a surprisingly cathartic chat about an equally surprisingly beautiful book: THROUGH THE HIDDEN DOOR by Rosemary Wells. They talk flying in tiny planes, practicing grace, a tiny town, secret relationships, and the cruelty of boys that want to be men.

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Oscar Montoya (Minx on Starz) joins Kelly to talk Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2! What a wild ride. They talk creepy horse tongues, extended bush, locker brain goo, Pokemon Go, and fairy girlies!

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Dylan Guerra (The Other Two on HBO Max) joins Kelly for Nightmare Hall: Deadly Attraction. A college full of students with unhinged names, sad diner townies, and confusing makeovers!

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Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk the beautiful love and friendship story, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. They talk game design frenemies, frustrating secrets, and one of the most moving explorations of friendship we've read in a long time.

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Meridith McNeill joins Kelly to talk John Hall's HOMECOMING QUEEN! Lots of mortifying trips down memory lane in this one, folks. Plus, heads in dryers, bees in lockers, and exploding tanning beds galore!

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Drew Mackie (Gayest Episode Ever, Deep Cuts and Superficial Wounds) joins Kelly to talk R.L. Stine's THE BOY NEXT DOOR, the psychologically harrowing tale of a teenage murderer, empty pool nosediving, shapeless brown sweaters, and slamming hoes in the backyard!

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Omar Najam joins Kelly for R.L. Stine's Fear Park: The Loudest Scream! Robin Fear is tricking everyone into killing everyone, but still nothing can beat the teen choppies of the last book! Dierdre's father errands save her life, lions eat zoo guys, and poor Meghan is locked up in Fear Manor!

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Patrick Ehlers joins Kelly for Wes Craven's adaptation of LoDunc's SUMMER OF FEAR! Horse girl additions welcome! While it's much more disturbing to see all the male family members fall for cousin Julia, this is a good movie! Hives, awful dresses, and baby Fran Drescher steals the show.

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Sweet Valley High correspondent Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High #126-128: Tall, Dark, and Deadly; Dance of Death; and Kiss of a Killer! These books are WILD! A boring and tortured vampire moves to Sweet Valley and Jessica is in LOVE, but she's not the only one! Enid goes goth (and frankly becomes way cooler), Elizabeth is haunted by her summer camp affair, and Todd experiences ego death!

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Real-life Serena van der Woodsen Landry Desmond joins Kelly for Cecily von Ziegesar's Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer! Landry suggested this book perhaps solely to invite the comparison! They talk antique sword leg slicing, unsexy body paint, and scary cult churches!

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Kelly is joined by guest cohost Oscar Montoya (Minx on Starz) for Wes Craven's Deadly Friend! They talk assisting your unrequited love in amateur surgery, best anime and worst Disney, and BASKETBALL!

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Guest cohost Omar Najam (Dimension 20's A Court of Fey and Flowers, Banesbreak on Pixel Circus) joins Kelly for R.L. Stine's incredible FEAR PARK: THE FIRST SCREAM! They chat dads floating in purple smoke, Victor Eagle, and teen hatchet fights!

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Guest cohost Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping), joins Kelly for Lois Duncan's TWISTED WINDOW! This, dear listeners, is her LowestDunc. An idiotic girl gets gaslit into kidnapping a strange child, no one can see through this TWISTED WINDOW, and jealousy of a stuffed animal is behind the funniest twist in the history of the written word.

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Guest cohost Lucas Eubank joins Kelly for Richie Tankersley Cusick's Scarecrow! They talk janked up families living deep in the Ozarks, wishing there were more scarecrows creeping around everywhere, and scary magical little girls with shotguns!

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Kelly is joined by guest cohost Steven Ray Morris (My Favorite Murder, The Purrrcast, See Jurassic Right) to talk R.L. Stine's CAT! They talk major narcissists, the joy in knowing a character is going to die, and of course, CATS!

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Kelly is joined by guest cohost Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) for DOUBLE DATE by R.L. Stine! They talk horrible teen science experiments, cannibal ants, and top five hottest Disney Princes!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Journey" by Joyce Carol Thomas, the story of a girl who escapes a body snatching thanks to the help of spiders! They talk lyrical writing, youths vs. olds, people who shouldn't be teachers, susceptibility to cults, MILF Manor, Mrs. Hillary Baldwin, and how it's never just lying about being in 9/11.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Night World: Witchlight' by L.J. Smith, tragically the last entry in the unfinished Night World series. It's supernatural soulmate time again, kids! They talk sad websites, embarrassing fan service, Marvel's Midnight Suns, shifting characterization, Jeremy Renner, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Avalanche" by Arthur Roth, the touching story of a boy who tries to shoot a coyote and gets snow punished. They talk forgiving the protagonist, therapizing yourself in an avalanche, and reveal the wonky recording schedule by talking about Christmas movies (and specifically 'Love, Actually') for most of the episode.

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Kelly and guest cohost and movie correspondent Oscar Montoya (@ozzymo) talk modern classic M3GAN! GO SEE THIS MOVIE! This depression cure-all has it all: wall-to-wall camp, unforgettable walk-ons, doll day-to-night looks, and TITANIUM!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Carver" by Jenny Jones, the touching story of a girl who lives near a creepy haunted copse and a creepy haunted boy with a creepy haunted knife who carves creepy wooden puppets and still the creepiest thing that happens is she ends up with her shitty ex. They talk scary scenes, ghost poisoning, how Marty is the best, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: The Wish" by Diane Hoh, the touching story of a girl whose friends use a fortune telling machine that works by monkey paw wish laws and almost gets sucked into space by the wind. They talk annoying lack of lore details, DIY wind tunnels, confusing physics, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Surprise Party" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who starts off trying to throw a fun surprise party for an estranged friend and ends up in a D&D sting op to catch her homicidal, cheating boyfriend. They talk sex LARPing, likable heroines, not knowing how Dungeons & Dragons is played, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street: The Perfect Date" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a boy who meets the girl of his dreams, only to find it getting complicated by the sled-face zombie of his dead girlfriend. They talk gaslighting zombies, tucking your hard-on into your belt, being too dumb to recognize anagrams, and not needing an explanation.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "The Daughter of Doctor Moreau" by Silvia Moreno-Garcia and talked questionable science ethics, lush writing, sympathetic characters, bad dads, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read THE SECRET BEDROOM by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl who starts off trying to steal someone's boyfriend and ends up possessed by a ghost! They talk gaslighting ghosts, spooky scenes, calling your date's girlfriend to see why he stood you up, and Bloourd, the best and least known character in Shadyside.

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This week Kelly and Katai were once again joined by beloved Teen Creeps Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (HBO Max's Minx) to discuss the movie "Barbarian." They talk creepy gender dynamics, relatable mothers, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Ski Weekend" by R.L. Stine, the thrilling story of things that all happen not on a ski weekend, but after a ski weekend, so why is this called "Ski Weekend?" They discuss not skiing, men wrestling strangers, weird men on Thanksgiving, Ariel Monroe Medical Woman, and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai talk about Mike Flanagan's Netflix series 'The Midnight Club,' the adaptation of not one, but seven Christopher Pike books! They discuss book to series comparisons (obvi), pet themes, 90s vs Gen Z attitudes, the Garden Wife Controversy (a Twitter main character no one will remember in a month's time), and more!

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Blood Roots" by Richie Tankersley Cusick, the touching story of an orphaned teen who returns to her ancestral Southern plantation home and finds out just how fucked up one family can be. They talk unexamined racism, ambiguous action, falling into hiding, eating your mom, and more!

***CW: racism, incest, sexual assault, cannibalism***

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Driver's Ed" by Caroline B. Cooney, the touching story of a pair of teens who steal a stop sign and ruin everyone's life. They talk psychological trauma, cold moms, forgiveness, how Mac is MVP of the book, and just generally gush over Cooney's writing.

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Katai is back from maternity leave, and she and Kelly are joined by Teen Creeps Sweetheart and Film Correspondent Oscar Montoya (HBO Max’s Minx) to discuss the 1998 film “Urban Legend!” They talk Katai’s harrowing labor experience, Rebecca Gayheart’s lip sync-worthy performance, Scream parallels, iconic deaths, and more!

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Guest cohost Omar Najam (A Court of Fey and Flowers, 13days13shorts) joins Kelly to talk Richie Tankersley Cusick's The House Next Door! They talk murdering someone with ornamental scissors, the beauty of true love, and weigh out embarrassment over being asked out on a dare vs. the promise of immortality.

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Guest cohost Patrick Ehlers (Same Day Shipping, Nintendo Cartridge Society) joins Kelly to talk Gallows Hill by Lois Duncan! They talk about Salem Witch Trial mass hysteria, Patrick's very own Slenderman, and weirdly a lot about 9/11!

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Kelly and guest cohost Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) talk Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Who's Who? Jessica is pretending to be the punkiest punk rocker and the richiest rich sophisticate in order to date two guys at once, and Elizabeth is practicing her recorder! Plus, the most unforgivable airport sins.

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Kelly and guest cohost Oscar Montoya (Minx on HBOMax) talk Happy Birthday to Me! They talk very avoidable deaths, crotch weightlifting kills, and brain poking!

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Kelly and guest cohost Omar Najam (The Borros Saga: Banesbreak on PixelCircus, Dimension 20's A Court of Fey and Flowers) talk Richie Tankersley Cusick's Vampire! There are a ton of hot guys in this book, and all of them want Darcy, and only one of them is her uncle! And there are NO vampires!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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Kelly and guest cohost Patrick Ehlers (Nintendo Cartridge Society, Same Day Shipping) talk Lois Duncan's Locked in Time! They talk the saddest age to be stuck living forever, hot tortured stepbrothers, and read tweets from the worst twitter account in existence (hint: we're pawfully sorry to expawse mew to this accmeownt!)

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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Guest cohost Ryan Mogge (Same Day Shipping) joins Kelly to talk Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High: Hostage! They talk vigilante justice, a perfectly terrible proposal, and Regina Morrow's cruel fate!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Hang Loose" by Linda Cargill, the touching story of a girl who thinks she's being stalked by literal rope. They talk irritating dialect writing, a killer playing 4-D chess, big ol' watermelon boobs, forgetting your own ghost lore, and hating absolutely every single character.

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read Philip Gross's "Facetaker," the touching story of a teenage manipulator who tricks other teens into acting like assholes by vaguely implying a photo booth has powers. They talk extremely vague photo booth lore, deranged aunts, getting off on lying because you're sad, very imbalanced sacrifices, badly executed themes, and more.

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes like this one, merch, and more:

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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Guest co-host Oscar Montoya (HBOMax's Minx, Podcast Killed the Video Star) joins Kelly to talk Cherry Falls! WATCH THIS AMAZING MOVIE! They talk father-daughter martial arts chemistry, toe-biting (harder!), and affording yourself the kindness that you afford others.

CW: this episode mentions sexual violence (no graphic descriptions)

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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Guest cohost Meridith McNeill (Swell Boys) joins Kelly to talk R.L. Stine's The Dare! They chat unhinged girlie moments, piercing green eyes, and how rich kids get away with everything!

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest cohost Omar Najam (Banesbreak, PowerPlay) joins Kelly to talk about R.L. Stine's First Date! They talk Hot Lizard Summer, relationship/self-love advice, and accidentally call the main character the wrong name the entire episode!

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes like this one, merch, and more:

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

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This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: The Roommate" by Diane Hoh. They talk loving Lacey, wearing masks, college nostalgia, and how if you're not present for the call then girl that call did not take place.

***

We want to take a moment to address the June 24th, 2022 Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe versus Wade. This decision stripped away the right to have a safe and legal abortion.

Everyone should have the freedom to decide what’s best for themselves and their families, including when it comes to ending a pregnancy. This decision has dire consequences for individual health and safety, and could have harsh repercussions for other landmark decisions.

Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans.

Learn more by visiting podvoices.help. If you’re able to support others, please consider donating to abortion funds. 

We encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread the word.

• abortion.cafe - collection of abortion resources
• shoutyourabortion.com - campaign to normalize abortion
• donations4abortion.com - donate to support abortion funds by state
• secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds - donate to the national network of abortion funds (donations split between 80+ abortion funds)
• usow.org/repro/volunteer - list of abortion clinics across the country that need volunteers
• dontbanequality.com - language for companies to use to stand against the ruling
• plancpills.org/ambassadors - early abortion access pills you can store in your cabinet
• prochoice.org - abortion access hotline
• natalist.com/products/early-pregnancy-test-strips - buy early pregnancy test strips
• plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control - get info on types of birth control
• choice.crd.co - collection of these above links and more, managed by @starplanes (DM them on twitter to add more)
• guttmacher.org/state-policy/explore/abortion-policy-absence-roe - abortion policy by state as of June 1, 2022. More in-depth version: guttmacher.org/state-policy

***

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes like this one, merch, and more:

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CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS:

https://twitter.com/teencreepspod

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BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH:

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TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST

https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Fear Street Seniors: Episode One: Let's Party" by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a group of high school kids who get together at a party, and that's it that's basically all that happens and everyone lives. They talk having a disrespect kink, too many characters, escaping to the big city of Deluth, and the unstoppable trio of Patrick Melrose, Phil Burbank, and Gary Fresno.

***

We want to take a moment to address the June 24th, 2022 Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe versus Wade. This decision stripped away the right to have a safe and legal abortion.

Everyone should have the freedom to decide what’s best for themselves and their families, including when it comes to ending a pregnancy. This decision has dire consequences for individual health and safety, and could have harsh repercussions for other landmark decisions.

Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans.

Learn more by visiting podvoices.help. If you’re able to support others, please consider donating to abortion funds. 

We encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread the word.

• abortion.cafe - collection of abortion resources
• shoutyourabortion.com - campaign to normalize abortion
• donations4abortion.com - donate to support abortion funds by state
• secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds - donate to the national network of abortion funds (donations split between 80+ abortion funds)
• usow.org/repro/volunteer - list of abortion clinics across the country that need volunteers
• dontbanequality.com - language for companies to use to stand against the ruling
• plancpills.org/ambassadors - early abortion access pills you can store in your cabinet
• prochoice.org - abortion access hotline
• natalist.com/products/early-pregnancy-test-strips - buy early pregnancy test strips
• plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control - get info on types of birth control
• choice.crd.co - collection of these above links and more, managed by @starplanes (DM them on twitter to add more)
• guttmacher.org/state-policy/explore/abortion-policy-absence-roe - abortion policy by state as of June 1, 2022. More in-depth version: guttmacher.org/state-policy

***

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes like this one, merch, and more:

https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps

CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS:

https://twitter.com/teencreepspod

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https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod

BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH:

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps

TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST

https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps

*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kelly is joined by guest cohost Brendan Milove to talk R.L. Stine's The Mind Reader, yet ANOTHER teenage psychic and older man romp! They talk shared sibling DNA (how much can we get away with, here?), very unfunny protagonists, and the funniest drowning scene in history.

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes like this one, merch, and more:

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TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST

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*All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices