Thankless Roll Players: arguably the world’s finest TTRPG actual play podcast

For our final episode of 2023 we leave you with our double length Holiday Thumptacular - Marzio Muscedere's Christmas cracker, "The Doom That Came To Christmas Town" for Dungeon Crawl Classics. Hope to see you all in 2024. Bring your friends!

Armed with the fabled wolf spear, the party returns to the village of Hirot to face down the Hound, in the conclusion of our playthrough of Harley Stroh's "Doom of the Savage Kings" for Dungeon Crawl Classics.

Our thief - and consequently our good listeners - learns a valuable lesson about luck, and our elf and cleric get quite salty in our swearingest, most hair raising (literally) installment so far, as we play part 4 of our "Doom of the Savage Kings" 5 parter.

Come celebrate Thanksgiving with us as our flock of turkeys descend into the Serpent Tomb of the Ulfheonar and discover the magic of the season...or something...in part three of our playthrough of Harley Stroh's "Doom of the Savage Kings" for Dungeon Crawl Classics.

More than a little worse for wear after their misguided attempt to follow the Hound into the Sunken Fens, our heroes seek aid at the village of Hirot. Much intrigue, and more singing than should be allowed, ensues. The mystery deepens, in episode two of our playthrough of Harley Stroh's "Doom of the Savage Kings" for Dungeon Crawl Classics.

The Hound of the Baskervilles meets Beowulf meets a group of big dumb nerds, as we delve into Harley Stroh's classic level 1 adventure for Dungeon Crawl Classics, "Doom of the Savage Kings".

Join us as we go everywhere except the safety of the village, and gasp as we bungle our way incorrectly through the DCC "recover the body" rules (spoiler alert - there will be casualties).

Our hopeless band of peasants continue to press their luck in "The Hole in the Sky". It's episode 13. What can go wrong?

The swift and unexpected finale of our playthrough of Goodman Games' classic murder dungeon "Crypt of the Devil Lich" for Dungeon Crawl Classics.

Having survived the first chamber, our valiant party ventures even deeper into the Crypt of the Devil Lich. Spinning rooms, pressure plates, confused ghosts, and more traps than you could shake a ten foot pole at. We continue our second of three playthroughs (spoiler alert) of Goodman Games' classic murder dungeon for Dungeon Crawl Classics.

We recklessly plunge into Goodman Games' notorious murder dungeon, "Crypt of the Devil Lich" with little to no preparation. The inevitable ensues. Part one of three. Our GM was battling the effects of Canadian wildfire smoke, so apologies for the occasional hoarseness and lozenge sucking.

Finally the finale of the grand finale. Unedited, so apologies in advance for dead air, mumbles, tangents and cusses.

Befitting the trend of splitting all series finales in two (and not at all due to lack of time to do any editing), and making the audience wait an unduly long time for those parts, we present the first part of the final installment of our playthrough of "Court of Blades". It's probably worth the wait.

The gang continues their task of destroying the good name of another house via the weapon of theatre, but not before discussing how to once and for all rid themselves of a particularly bothersome thorn in their side, as we continue our playthrough of a Couple of Drakes' "Court of Blades".

Our sporadic games of Dungeon World continue, as our druid, thief and barbarian tackle a shimmering mage's tower in the middle of a forest. Trampolining, rapping, Cronenberg-esque body horror? This episode has everything. But definitely not an owlbear. Apologies in advance for some choppy audio here and there.

We continue our efforts to further the cause of House Bastien, and our status within it, in the vibrant, sprawling city-state of Ilrien, as we continue our playthrough of A Couple Of Drakes' "Court of Blades".  

https://acoupleofdrakes.itch.io/

Come  with us to the vibrant, sprawling city-state of Ilrien, as we follow  the trials and tribulations of upstart House Bastien, as they try to  scale society's  ladder by any means necessary, in our first full session of A Couple Of  Drakes' "Court of Blades".

https://acoupleofdrakes.itch.io/court-of-blades

CONTENT WARNING: Drug use and brief descriptions of graphic violence.

Sixteen foolish peasants who foolishly believe they were born for greater things, foolishly take the word of a mysterious woman in blue that if they foolishly step off a cliff onto an invisible bridge and go to a prison in a hole in the sky, and foolishly fight a titan, then all of their wishes will come true.  The foolish peasants foolishly do so.  The fools!

Given that two of our favorite games of the last year were Greg Stolze's "Dueling Fops of Vindamere" and John Harper's "Blades in the Dark", how could we resist a beast such as Shawn & Navi Drake's "Court of Blades" - a game of scheming nobles, court magicians, and dashing duelists, set in the fantasy Renaissance-era (or as Jenni calls it "Opera") city-state of Ilrien.  Rob gives us an overview of the game, and leads us through house and character creation - all in just under an hour - in our session zero of "Court of Blades"

https://acoupleofdrakes.itch.io/court-of-blades

The magi of Tagalyn and their rescue party arrive at the plague-stricken covenant of Ad Vis Per Veritas, but do not receive the welcome they were expecting, as we continue our learn-to-play playthrough of the classic Ars Magica adventure "Black Death".

https://www.atlas-games.com/product_tables/AG0205
https://www.atlas-games.com/product_tables/AG0813

A lonely stone cottage in a clearing in the woods.  Some overly aggressive birds with some very unpleasant egg-laying habits.  A marvelous monster, and a heinous magical trap.  All in under an hour.  What more could you ask for?

The magi of Tagalyn reach the outskirts of Whitchurch, in our playthrough of Thomas Kane's classic "Black Death" for Ars Magica.

https://atlas-games.com/arsmagica

The magi of Tagalyn heed the call & come to the aid of their plague-ravaged sisters and brothers, only to find much darker forces at play, in our playthrough of Thomas Kane's classic "Black Death" for Ars Magica.

https://atlas-games.com/arsmagica

Possibly setting a new world record for terrible cat puns, we set out to rescue our humans from very strange events at the River City Library in Magical Kitties Save The Day from Atlas Games.

https://www.atlas-games.com/magicalkitties

"You're more like the Thom Yorke of the 13th Century"

In this episode we demystify, hopefully, character creation in Ars Magica 5th Edition as we create two companions from scratch.  We also discuss our upcoming adventure and Ars Magica in general.

https://www.atlas-games.com/arsmagica/

"Marius would feel a lot better if we didn't burn down a cathedral"

Our long-awaited (by us anyway) return to Mythic Europe.  Marvel at our grasp of history, geography, language, and rules, as we track down some very dubious spell scrolls in 13th Century Ireland in "The Cathedral and the Bizarre" for Atlas Games' Ars Magic Fifth Edition.

https://www.atlas-games.com/arsmagica/

"You know how ducks are once they get the scent of flesh"

The thrilling conclusion of our playthrough of Dungeon Crawl Classics' 2022 Free RPG Day funnel by Michael Curtis.

http://www.goodmangames.com

"If anything this is too much of a plan!"

Our thief and druid cross paths with a menacing mage and his heavily-armed entourage, a wood elf, and delve into an ancient mound beneath a mysterious circle of standing stones, in our third how-to playthrough and review of Dungeon  World.

https://dungeon-world.com/

"The skull mask probably will kill only one person"
Fifteen intrepid peasants and their livestock climb aboard a giant space jellyfish in episode one of our playthrough of Dungeon Crawl Classics' 2022 Free RPG Day funnel.
http://www.goodmangames.com

"Oh boy, is it going to give you a tongue lashing!"

Having escaped the perilous underground temple by the skin of their teeth, our thief and druid stumble upon a wandering immolator and barbarian, join forces, and head right back in again.  I mean, what could go wrong?  Our second how-to playthrough and review of Dungeon World.
https://dungeon-world.com/

A mere nine months on from where we left off, the survivors of our hopelessly ill-equipped band of peasants - along with some new friends they make along the way - bring it to the Chaos Lord and his hordes of beastmen atop his cursed ziggurat, in the classic DCC funnel module "Sailors On The Starless Sea". 

NOTE:  We had some audio issues during the first 20 minutes or so of this episode.  Sorry!

https://goodman-games.com/store/product/dungeon-crawl-classics-67-sailors-on-the-starless-sea-2/

You discern no reality.  But reality discerns you!
This week we tackle Dungeon World, where we go through character creation, a rules explanation, an introductory scenario, and a review in under 60 minutes, because we're awesome!  And Dungeon World is pretty good too!
https://dungeon-world.com/

House Verditius arrives on Arrakis to a rather perilous welcome, as our how-to-play playthrough of Modiphius's "Dune - the Roleplaying Game" continues.

https://www.modiphius.net/pages/discover-dune-roleplaying-game

Strap on your stillsuits and hop aboard a heighliner to Arrakis, as Rob leads us through our session zero of Modiphius' Dune - the Roleplaying Game.  We go through an overview of the rules, step by step character creation, adventure hooks and a whole host of rabbit holes.  We make understanding Dune so easy that even we could play it.

https://www.modiphius.net/pages/discover-dune-roleplaying-game

Just in time for Valentine's Day.  Love, lust and jealousy are in the air.  Faces will be slapped, sabres rattled, honors restored & ruined, accusations levied & refuted, and erotic machinations afoot, as we pull up our tights, fix our powdered wigs & play Greg Stolze's GM'less TTRPG "Dueling Fops of Vindamere" from Crankshaft Constellation.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/368925/Dueling-Fops-of-Vindamere

"Greg Four has seen beyond the veil!"

Stay proomed, clones as we attempt to clear Alpha Complex of its irritable blockage for Friend Computer, as our very first learning game of Mongoose Publishing's "PARANOIA" reaches its sticky, sweet-scented conclusion. 

https://www.mongoosepublishing.com/us/rpgs/paranoia.html?___store=us&___from_store=uk
Additional music "Full of Energy" by code_box used under Creative Commons license  CC0 1.0 Universal(CC0 1.0)

"Get out there, tiger!  You're gonna do fine!"

This is no time to idle gluttonously at the Waffle Squarf!  Proom your clones and join us as we attempt to save Alpha Complex for Friend Computer, or die again and again and again and again and again and again and again trying, in our very first learning game of Mongoose Publishing's slightly mad "PARANOIA".  So take off your U.B.T Hypersense Device, curl up with your K@ Companion Bot as the Thankless Roll Players die and die again for your edification and delight.

https://www.mongoosepublishing.com/us/rpgs/paranoia.html?___store=us&___from_store=uk

"A lot of people died for us to get our hands on this."
"Sure, if you want to be ghastly about it."

Our playthrough of John Harper's "Blades in the Dark" reaches its dramatic conclusion (for now). 

https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/

"Another week of skulking and surveying?!  I need to blow something up!"

Our first episode of 2022 finds us laying a carefully-planned ambush in the mist-shrouded streets of Doskval, as we continue our playthrough of John Harper's "Blades in the Dark".  With a plan this detailed and well-thought-out what can possibly go wrong?

https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/

"Well...it's insane, but it's wildly theatrical, so I'm on board"

Our playthrough of John Harper's "Blades in the Dark" continues into our final episode of 2021.  With a problematic old friend of Gunn's hot on their tail, the Sun Chasers struggle to come up with an exit plan from the revolting predicament in which they have found themselves.

https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/

"I don't think a friend can assist on a vice?"
"Have you ever been out on the town with me?"

Our playthrough of John Harper's "Blades in the Dark" continues as we plunge into downtime activities.  Come learn along with us, as the Sun Chasers begin to grow into an outfit that just might be able to cut it in Duskwall after all.  Then stick around as we get back into free play, where Silver goes to tea to help a woman find the niece we unfortunately murdered in episode 21 (oops!), Seymour and Gun sell their services to a team of aquatic twentysomethings, and Rip and Willy have an M.R. James moment with a mummified heart.

https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/

"You can never go wrong with a plinth."

Smell that?  That's not pumpkin pie.  That's the stolid stench of death.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Who dares enter the black obelisk of the Wizard Nekelshim?  Four shall brave entry but how many shall leave?  Whose mettle shall  withstand the unspeakable traps and trials within?  All this and more, as we play round two of DOOMSPIRE:  Tower of Wishes for Dungeons & Dragons 5e.

NOTE: This session originally contained a continuous musical soundtrack which, for copyright reasons, we cannot include.

Bring your barf bags as we travel back to mid-1980s rural Wisconsin, and the world's worst grandma, in the conclusion of our playthrough of "The Dare" for Call of Cthulhu.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/220315/The-Dare
Music as always from Barry McCormack http://www.barrymccormack.com
Follow us on Twitter at @players_roll or on
YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHzdv7pCK8ORXQLvi_UNUTg

"Are we thinking we're gonna have to hit people?"
"Well, we've just ripped off a hobo."

Scream and scream again!  Then scream a bit more, as we give you the Thankless Roll Players Halloween "Special" in which we all venture back to our preteen years.  And if that wasn't horrific enough, we sneak into the old Barnaker place at the end of Bon Morte Street for Kevin Ross's "The Dare" for Call of Cthulhu.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/220315/The-Dare
Music as always from Barry McCormack http://www.barrymccormack.com
Follow us on Twitter at @players_roll
or on Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHzdv7pCK8ORXQLvi_UNUTg

"I think we seriously misunderstood the words reconnaissance and stealth here."

Brent reads the Blades In The Dark rule book and has questions...
The Sun Chasers stake out a secret cult meeting in Mistshore Park, and as usual, things get a little out of hand.

Who the hell would worship this?  Only some real weirdos.

Cam shows of his copy of Blades in the Dark.  The crew find themselves the subject of some unwanted attention from a very powerful enemy after their escapade from S02E08, and quickly devise a plan to strike back.  But not before a trip to a very unusual nightclub.

Playing "Blades in the Dark" by John Harper, currently published by Evil Hat
https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/
Music courtesy of Barry McCormack http://www.barrymccormack.com

"I hate this ball pit.  This is easily the worst one I've ever been in."
"You've never been to a McDonalds in East Dubuque."

Due to some unavoidable interruptions we find ourselves unable to do part two of our playthrough of Sailors on the Starless Sea, and so we take another band of hapless rubes for a jaunt into another Dungeon Crawl Classics funnel game.  This time we explore all the fun of the fair in David Baity's "The Carnival of the Damned", published by Purple Sorcerer Games.  

Will there be a part two?  Who knows?  Will there be profanity and wholly unnecessary innuendo?  Oh hell yes.

https://purplesorcerer.com/carnival.php
https://goodman-games.com/store/product/dungeon-crawl-classics-role-playing-game-4th-printing-copy/

Fifteen hopelessly ill-equipped peasants foolishly decide to have fun storming the castle in the, er, classic DCC funnel module "Sailors On The Starless Sea".  Will they survive?  Spoiler alert - it's part one.  How many will survive?  Ah, now that's another story entirely.

https://goodman-games.com/store/product/dungeon-crawl-classics-67-sailors-on-the-starless-sea-2/

You Can Trance If You Want To

We step back into Doskvol a mere three months (!!!) since our last game, as the Sun Chasers take on a high-stakes heist at a lavish ball celebrating 300 years of the city's most famous bridge.  But their carefully laid plan starts to unravel the moment they set foot in the festivities.  Murderous ghosts, clueless contacts, troublesome psychics, and amorous Bluecoats await.  There's quite a lot of profanity in this one, so apologies in advance.

This week we take a leisurely stroll through the delightful Dungeon Crawl Classics funnel game, "The Portal Under The Stars".  A splendid time is had by all, and we make some new friends along the way...then use their charred corpses as shields.  An amazingly profanity-free episode considering what happens five minutes in and then never, ever stops...

"I mean, what is there to deliberate about?  Open the goddamn door with two diamonds!"

Who dares enter the black obelisk of the Wizard Nekelshim?  Four shall brave entry but how many shall leave?  Whose mettle shall withstand the unspeakable traps and trials within?  Will Cam remember all of the words to the fight song?  How many owls shall be regurgitated?  All this and more, as we play round one of DOOMSPIRE: Tower of Wishes for Dungeons & Dragons 5e.

NOTE: This session originally contained a continuous musical soundtrack which, for copyright reasons, we cannot include.

Our conclusion of Ex Libris, and some initial thoughts on The Dee Sanction

The year is 1593. Spared the hangman's rope for their heretical transgressions, four gentlemen of London - under the orders of Master John Dee - make a clandestine trip to Deptford to retrieve a prized book from one of England's greatest seafarers (no, not that one), only to find themselves embroiled with enormous vermin, mechanical men, and a bloodthirsty playwright (no, not that one).  It's much ado about copious amounts of blood in our first foray into "The Dee Sanction" (http://thedeesanction.com/)

The Candlecreeps finally arrive at the market in Millport and attempt to track down the source of Candlekeep's seemingly cursed books?  Will diplomacy prevail, or will it end in utter chaos like the Saskatoon Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in-store of 2005?

A chance encounter on the road to Millport gets waaaay out of hand for the Candlecreeps, in the second installment of our playthrough of "Mazfroth's Mighty Digressions" from "Candlekeep Mysteries".

Books are attacking browsers at Candlekeep's library.  Could a shady book hawker be the cause?  Have no fear, for the Candlecreeps are on the case.  If anyone can get to the bottom of this mystery it's this gang including definitely not Swamp Thing, what's that video game character?, and certainly not reassuring daytime television attorney Matlock.  And remember to always eat something, kids.

"Sorry, son.  There's no Jesus for you here."  

After last week's attack on Lord Scurlock's minions, the Sun Chasers kick back and enjoy some much needed downtime, as our GM Rob leads us through DOWNTIME! (and you can come too).

https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/

Music: "Never Leave the House" by Barry McCormack (http://www.barrymccormack.com) - used with kind permission

"The beetle-faced woman has the ghost under control."  
Our first session of John Harper's wonderful "Blades in the Dark" finally makes it to the table, and it was well worth the wait.  

https://www.evilhat.com/home/blades-in-the-dark/
Music: "Never Leave the House" by Barry McCormack http://www.barrymccormack.com (used with permission).

A missing girl, a mysterious medusa, a troublesome new hire, and a horrendous bar tab.  Our heroes get more than they bargained for every step of the way, as they stumble through the thrilling conclusion to our playthrough of Gary Gygax's 1979 D&D classic "The Keep on the Borderlands" using Baz Stevens' "The King of Dungeons" ruleset.

Loosely using the scenario from "Into the Borderlands" published by Goodman Games, and using the ruleset from King of Dungeons.  Both of which we wholeheartedly recommend.

https://goodman-games.com/store/product/original-adventures-reincarnated-1-into-the-borderlands/
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

Music: "Never Leave the House" by Barry McCormack
http://www.barrymccormack.com

What treasures lie in the secret flap beneath a brutal torturer's sweaty loincloth?  What about Ars Magica?  What about World of Darkness?  These, and other pressing questions will be answered in this week's episode, as we draw ever nearer to the conclusion of our playthrough of Gary Gygax's 1979 classic "The Keep on the Borderlands", played here using Baz Stevens' marvelous "King of Dungeons".
We had a bit of a calamity, as our recording dropped out for the last 30 minutes or so, so this episode ends rather abruptly.  But we shall regale you all with what happened at the beginning of our next episode (hint: A LOT HAPPENED).

Loosely using the scenario from "Into the Borderlands" published by Goodman Games, and using the ruleset from King of Dungeons.  Both of which we wholeheartedly recommend.

https://goodman-games.com/store/product/original-adventures-reincarnated-1-into-the-borderlands/
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

Our characters level up, and our relationship with King of Dungeons enters its difficult second stage, where its little quirks begin to annoy us, but the sex is still very, very good so we overlook them.  Our heroes, aided by the bandit captain Dee Dee Raven, enter into the caverns that house the Temple of Evil Chaos in a bid to free Millicent from the clutches of the vile Osseus the Filthy.  Along the way, Bohdi makes an unusual new friend.

Loosely using the scenario from "Into the Borderlands" published by Goodman Games, and using the ruleset from King of Dungeons.

https://goodman-games.com/store/product/original-adventures-reincarnated-1-into-the-borderlands/
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

Our heroes get a little more than they bargained for in their daring attempt to rescue a bandit captain from the clutches of a bugbear clan, as we continue our foray into Gary Gygax's 1979 classic "The Keep on the Borderlands" using the King of Dungeons ruleset.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

Goblins image by Fantasy Flight Games.

Death by Shetland pony.  Blood, swearing, and more blood.  It's hack 'n' slash time, kids!  That is all.

All colors of pony are great.  It just needs to be mean!

We continue our visit to Gary Gygax's classic 1979 Basic D&D module "The Keep on the Borderlands",  using  "The King of  Dungeons" ruleset.  Loosely using the D&D5e conversion by Goodman Games.  In part two, the guild sets out to rescue the Castellan's daughter from the dread bandit Dee Dee Raven.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

Brent questions everything he believes in, as he finds himself drawn to playing a ranger type.

Our session zero for John Harper's Blades in the Dark, which none of us has played  Missing the first 30 mins or so of audio, but you'll get the drift. 

We've pulled out all the stops for our final episode of 2020!  We take Gary Gygax's classic 1979 Basic D&D module "The Keep on the Borderlands", give it a rules overhaul using Baz Stevens' terrific "The King of Dungeons" ruleset, then heap on festive helpings of juvenile innuendo and random references to that celluloid holiday classic, "Point Break".  

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

"I don't need charisma; I'm universally adored!"

We reveal a heretofore hidden group obsession with Keanu Reeves and the film "Point Break" , as we go through guild and character creation in Baz Stevens' "The King of Dungeons", published by Grand Scheme Publishing.  And Cam does his laundry, because THIS IS REAL LIFE, MAN!

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/273672/The-King-of-Dungeons

The finale of our playthrough of "Frozen Sick" from "The Explorer's Guide to Wildemount".

Things go from bad to worse to even worse to absolutely terrible for the Pearl of Io's rescue and salvage crew.

We're taking the halfling to Eiselcross.

Thrill as our heroes shop for good value in rations.  Gasp as they negotiate suitable transportation.  And weep tears of quiet comfort as they share a very special seasonal moment.
Our cleric finds a sexy book, our wizard rolls a 2, our rogue wheels and deals, and our fighter once again gets pummeled to within an inch of his life.  Just another day in Wildemount.

Even when faced with impending doom there is ALWAYS time to argue about dice probabilities

A rescue and salvage mission goes seriously awry right out of the gate in our continuing playthrough of Tuesday Knight Games' "Mothership"

"F*** your Honda Civic, I've a horse outside."

Can our heroes save the day and rid Palebank of its dreaded freezing disease?  
Our playthrough of "Frozen Sick" from "The Explorer's Guide to Wildemount" continues.

Will ruthless bandits and giant ice frogs stand in the way of our intrepid party's quest to track down the possibly cursed loot from a dwarven heist, and prevent them from halting the spread of a terrible disease?  Probably.

Part two of our trip to "The Explorer's Guide to Wildemount" in the adventure "Frozen Sick"

https://dnd.wizards.com/products/wildemount

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap for bad people...IN SPACE.

No edits due to hardware difficulties, so strap in.  
Most of the warden's notes were also lost in a hardware crash, so we're winging it here.

Using the "Mothership Player's Survival Guide" by Sean McCoy, and "A Pound of Flesh" by Sean McCoy , Donn Stroud & Luke Gearing
Both published by Tuesday Knight Games and available at http://mothershiprpg.com

Two old pros and two absolute novices take on "Frozen Sick" from the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount for D&D5e.  The newbies rush the room.   And a level 1 Knowledge Cleric messes up some bandits real, real, REAL bad.

"We saved a frat boy....I sniffed a dead frat boy.  I stand corrected."

The grand finale of our sojourn in Monster of the Week ends in a hail of bullets, and an indelible hunk monster.

"The victim always returns to the scene of the crime"

Our penultimate foray into the existentially put-upon college town of Towson, Ohio continues with murderous deeds, sinister cults, and a crash course in boiler repair.  And you can win a sticker...or something.

"Betty White is the bacon of celebrities!"

AKA Three Investigators and a Baby!  A home cleaning crew takes on a job that's too good to be true, in the first part of our playthrough of Lynne Hardy's "Scritch Scratch".  What we may lack in production values, we make up for in infants!

"This property faces certain real estate challenges.  I would rather list it than love it."

"Well...um...I am suddenly of the opinion that this place is haunted."

We take on the classic introductory scenario to Call of Cthulhu the only way we know how...shambolically.

Ruh Roh Cave AKA shotungmanx 300% flat tire skull & crossbones.   

It's guns-a-blazin against future sonic terminator dudes and evil bowling balls in the conclusion of our second Towson mystery in Evil Hat's "Monster of the Week".  

Using the 2015 Revised Edition rules, written by Michael Sands & Steve Hickey  

Published by and available from Evil Hat Productions

https://www.evilhat.com/home/monster-of-the-week/

"I'll pull out an infinite number of handkerchiefs to help wipe her face down".  

Our intrepid investigators are called back to Arkham to attend to an old dying friend.  Along the way they pick up a stranded stage magician.  What can possibly go wrong?  The answer is, of course, everything...  

As always, expect mistakes-a-plenty, profanity, stumbles, mumbles, and monsters.  

Using 7th edition Call of Cthulhu rules by Sandy Petersen, Lynn Willis & Mike Mason, and the scenario "Dead Light" by Alan Bligh.  

Both published by and available from Chaosium.

https://www.chaosium.com/call-of-cthulhu-rpg/

"No, cats!  No!  I'm typing!"  

Things take a bizarre and violent turn in the second part of our continuing play of Evil Hat's "Monster of the Week".  

Using the 2015 Revised Edition rules, written by Michael Sands & Steve Hickey  

Published by and available from Evil Hat Productions

https://www.evilhat.com/home/monster-of-the-week/

"You know cloven-hoofed boots went out of fashion decades ago?"  

We're off to glorious Michigan for a short Call of Cthulhu intro scenario.    

As always, expect mistakes-a-plenty, profanity, stumbles, mumbles, and monsters.  

Using 7th edition Call of Cthulhu rules by Sandy Petersen, Lynn Willis & Mike Mason, and the scenario "Paper Chase" by John Sullivan & Mike Mason, published in "The Call of Cthulhu Starter Set".  

Both published by and available from Chaosium.

https://www.chaosium.com/call-of-cthulhu-rpg/

"This is not my beautiful Towson!"  

Time loops?  A sinister cult?  An ancient civilization of cave dwellers?  A humdinger of a lightning storm?  Gravy with everything?  

We're back in the hills of southern Ohio in the first of a three-part tale from Evil Hat's Monster of the Week.  

Using the 2015 Revised Edition rules, written by Michael Sands & Steve Hickey  

Published by and available from Evil Hat Productions 

https://www.evilhat.com/home/monster-of-the-week/

Lordy, lummy!  It's the mummy!  

Murderously cursed deeds are run amok in the  college town of Towson, Ohio.  

Cultists.  Crooked cops.  Several thrilling pursuits.  And a monster that just won't get back in its box.  

The thrilling conclusion to our first sojourn in Evil Hat's Monster of the Week.  

Using the 2015 Revised Edition rules, written by Michael Sands & Steve Hickey  

Published by and available from Evil Hat Productions https://www.evilhat.com/home/monster-of-the-week/

What misadventures will a ruthless "Forestry Dept." agent, a hired assassin laying low, a drifter with some dubious magazine subscriptions, a guy who might be an angel, and a thousand year old Irish goat get into?  

Strange things are afoot in the sleepy college town of Towson, Ohio, so let's find out in part 1 of a MotW two-parter.

Using the 2015 Revised Edition rules, written by Michael Sands & Steve Hickey  

Published by and available from Evil Hat Productions https://www.evilhat.com/home/monster-of-the-week/

The thrilling, inexorable conclusion of our little jaunt to the island of Al Amarja.  

The heist!  Ultraviolence!  Some very weird science!  The Over the Edge "bullshit" clicks into place!  Fights, fights, more fights, and an unusual amount of penis-driven innuendo (probably from all of the fight-induced testosterone).  

Using 3rd edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Chris Lites, and the scenario "Seversen's Mysterious Estate" by Jonathan Tweet and Justin Alexander , published in "Welcome to the Island".  

Both published by and available from Atlas Games.  https://www.atlas-games.com/overtheedge

A note on audio - one of our players had mic issues that made him sound like a chipmunk.  Unfortunately we lost the individual tracks for this episode, so were unable to fix his audio in post. 

"Is there any reason to believe we are in danger?  Please say yes"   

We journey back to the Valley of the Kings, Egypt in 1924 for a short CoC intro scenario.   

As always, expect mistakes-a-plenty, a lot of profanity, stumbles, and some very bad acting.  

98 minutes of pure terror, punctuated by bouts of quiet typing. 

Using 7th edition Call of Cthulhu rules by Sandy Petersen, Lynn Willis & Mike Mason, and the scenario "The Necropolis" by Leigh Carr, published in "Gateways into Terror". 

Both published by and available from Chaosium.

https://www.chaosium.com/call-of-cthulhu-rpg/

Kidnapping!  Intrigue!  Fascists!  Energy Vampires!  A maze a third the size of Uzbekistan!  Lanyards!  A run-in with the government, and a daring heist that may or may not get off the ground!  

Our third foray to the island nation of Al Amarja finds our daring party try to case the joint, while our GM bumbles his way through a mountain of esoteric quasi-scientific technobabble and exotic names.  "Do, Seversen's" said Tweet "That's a good introduction."  Soooo many NPCs.  Soooo much weirdness. 

Using 3rd edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Chris Lites, and the scenario "Seversen's Mysterious Estate" by Jonathan Tweet and Justin Alexander , published in "Welcome to the Island".  

Both published by and available from Atlas Games.  https://www.atlas-games.com/overtheedge

Part Two of our trip to the Ultimate Democratic Republic of Al Amarja finds us all a bit overwhelmed by all of the weirdness.  

As always, expect mistakes-a-plenty, a lot of profanity, stumbles, and some very bad acting.  There's more dancing too!  

It's a bit of a train wreck, but it's only 90 minutes.  

Using 3rd edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Chris Lites, and the scenario "Seversen's Mysterious Estate" by Jonathan Tweet and Justin Alexander , published in "Welcome to the Island".  

Both published by and available from Atlas Games.  https://www.atlas-games.com/overtheedge

"So, who's gonna go get Tony out of the sex rooms?"  

Part One of the audio car crash that was our trip to the Ultimate Democratic Republic of Al Amarja.  

As always, expect mistakes-a-plenty, some profanity, and some very bad acting.  

This time around you can also expect baboons, copious amounts of profanity, drug-dealing grandmas, ultraviolence, and lots and lots of dancing!  Did we mention the sex rooms?  

Using 3rd edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Chris Lites.  

Published by and available from Atlas Games. https://www.atlas-games.com/overtheedge

The conclusion of John Nephew's "The Ghoul of St. Lazare".   Presented here in all of its unedited, warts-and-all, improperly-played, mispronounced glory. Expect mistakes-a-plenty, some profanity, and some very bad acting.   

As usual, using (loosely) Ars Magica 5th edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Mark Rein-Hagen, and the text of "The Ghoul of St. Lazare" from the 1998 ArM4 edition of "The Festival of the Damned".   

All published by and available from Atlas Games. https://www.atlas-games.com/arsmagica  

The Craig bot on Discord dropped our Friar Amoureux player's audio from the mix somewhere around the 1:12:00 minute mark, so you sadly won't get to hear Cam go full church.  Fortunately you can still follow the action, but there are gaps of silence.

"Yeah, but I'm a knight.  Whatever!"  After a late start, our intrepid (and under the weather) housebound group, and first-time story guide, enter the "difficult third act" of John Nephew's "The Ghoul of St. Lazare". Presented here in all of its warts-and-all, improperly-played, mispronounced glory. Expect mistakes-a-plenty, some profanity, and some very bad acting. 

As usual, using (loosely) Ars Magica 5th edition rules by Jonathan Tweet, Mark Rein-Hagen and David Chart, and the text of "The Ghoul of St. Lazare" from the 1998 ArM4 edition of "The Festival of the Damned".   

All published by and available from Atlas Games. https://www.atlas-games.com/arsmagica

Our (mostly) first-time ArM group and fresh-faced middle-aged story guide shelter from the Coronavirus, and tread once again into John Nephew's "The Ghoul of St. Lazare". Presented here in all of its warts-and-all, improperly-played, mispronounced glory. Expect mistakes-a-plenty, some profanity, and some very bad acting. 

As usual, using (loosely) Ars Magica 5th edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Mark Rein-Hagen, and the text of "The Ghoul of St. Lazare" from the 1998 ArM4 edition of "The Festival of the Damned".  

All published by and available from Atlas Games. https://www.atlas-games.com/arsmagica 

I butchered the pronunciation of the Confrérie des Charitables de Saint-Éloi, which I learned about last week in the Guardian newspaper and just had to add.  You can read more about them here:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/02/the-charitables-french-brotherhood-burying-dead-since-1188

Our first foray into Ars Magica proper, and played part one of John Nephew's "The Ghoul of St. Lazare". Presented here in all of its warts-and-all, improperly-played, mispronounced 90 minute glory. Expect mistakes-a-plenty, some profanity, and some very bad acting. Also, this was the first time I've GM'd in 40 years, so be gentle.  Using (loosely) Ars Magica 5th edition rules by Jonathan Tweet and Mark Rein-Hagen, and the text of "The Ghoul of St. Lazare" from the 1998 ArM4 edition of "The Festival of the Damned".  

All published by Atlas Games.   https://www.atlas-games.com/arsmagica