The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Hey everyone, this is Alex, Robyn's son and podcast editor. To be 100% honest, we forgot to record a podcast for this week. Luckily, I have stepped in to fill the podcast void and to make my grand reveal!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What my voice sounds like!
• Why we didn't get a new episode out for y'all.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grandreveal  

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

We think a lot about how to lower demands for our kids, but in this episode we’re going to talk about how we can lower demands for ourselves, specifically during the holiday season.

Regardless of where you live in the world and what holidays you do or don’t celebrate, it’s hard to avoid the extra stress that comes in December.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to look at traditions or expectations and consider which ones to prioritize
• How to increase felt safety- for you and your kids- at holiday events, travel, or expectations
• How to set boundaries 
• How to offer yourself compassion if setting boundaries feels really hard

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/lowdemandholidays

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Living with someone with a vulnerable nervous system almost certainly leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells.

It’s that sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, having to tread lightly, and being constantly at risk of making a misstep that will trigger the other person. 

In today’s episode, we are going to break down the neurobiology of walking on eggshells and talk about what you can do to shift out of this pattern- even if you can’t change the other person’s behavior.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The neurobiology of that ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling
• How to consider the possibility of feeling safe when you are safe
• The impossible set-up our brain puts us in that leaves us stuck feeling like we are walking on eggshells- and what to do about it

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}
• Gratitude For Our Watchdog & Possums Parts {EP 200}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/eggshells

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The
Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In this special 200th episode, we’re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids’ (and our own) “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change.

We also look at the unique challenges parents face, especially when dealing with intense behaviors, and how building compassion for these protective parts—not the behaviors themselves—can help us navigate parenting with more calm, empathy, and hope. 

Believe it or not- over time, this practice of seeing our inner worlds differently can transform not only our lives but the lives of our children and our communities.

Main Takeaways:

• Recognize Protective Parts with Compassion: Our “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts, which are defensive instincts, need compassion and gratitude, not elimination. Understanding these parts as overworked rather than problematic can lead to healthier integration and self-acceptance.
• Parenting from Compassionate Curiosity: Challenging behaviors in children can often lead to frustration. By developing curiosity and compassion for our kids’ protective parts, parents can respond with empathy and help these parts feel safe, which reduces the intensity of the behaviors over time.
• The Power of Community and Practice: Change takes time and commitment, and practicing compassion and gratitude—even in small amounts—can lead to significant transformations in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. The journey is gradual, but even small shifts create powerful results.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• EVERYONE Has A Watchdog and Possum Brain! {EP 178}
• All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/gratitude

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth.

Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain-based skills, we can reclaim our empathy, set boundaries, and offer the scaffolding or accommodations necessary to help our child be successful.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to break down relational skills as brain-based skills
• How to scaffold or accommodate relational brain-based skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• NEW!!!! Brain-First Parenting Podcast! With Eileen Devine

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/relationalskills

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connection
• To titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wants
• Showing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How connection and protection can get tied together
• How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child
• The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}
• Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationship
• How to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperation
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner world
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's environment
• Strategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}
• What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}
• Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}
• Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}
• Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseries

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That even oppositional behaviors make total sense
• Spending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the body
• Changing the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety is
• The diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthere
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection or Protection {Ep 7}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How all brains create reality
• The brain’s most important job
• The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communities
• What’s included in your Club membership (so much!)
• How easy it is to access and participate in The Club
• How easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you’re ready

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatsintheclub

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. 

You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. 

You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’

All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The whiplash and why we feel it
• Why our kids seem to attack outta no where
• Why these moments feel like everything is as worse as ever- but it probably isn’t
• Why it’s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/whiplash

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What self-regulation REALLY is
• How “self” regulation develop
• Why you should still teach self-regulation skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachers
• Why regulation is foundational for learning
• Where to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Light Up the Learning Brain
• Supporting Kids Who Struggle with Change 
• www.BraveBrains.com
• Free Resources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.

Why?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behavior
• How controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connection
• Tips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control you

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection or Protection??? {EP 7}
• Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation {EP 82}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Exploring Low-Demand Parenting: Shift Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/controlling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- 

“Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”

Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.

Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The difference between co-regulation and coddling
• Why asking this question helps us understand some of our fears
• What trust has to do with co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/coddling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023

Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?

They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?

I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).

This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain
• How we can use our kids’ behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)
• The role of distress tolerance
• Steps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behavior

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}
• Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdog

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023

I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.

I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”

In this episode, I:

• Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)
• Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuse
• Recommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources:

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Steps to help increase your children’s psychological boundaries
• Activities that will help your children increase their psychological boundaries

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Setting Boundaries That Sick - Juliane Taylor Shore's book!
• Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}
• Setting Boundaries That Stick With Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored {EP 185}
• Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}
• Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and Possums... Without Excusing! {EP 187}
• Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblingsverbalaggression

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulated
• What to prioritize 
• How to have realistic expectations for yourself

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Child Always Dysregulated? Try This! {EP 18}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}
• Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/twokidsdysregulated

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home.

Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again.

You can create felt safety for the other children in your home by making a plan.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Key things to consider when making a plan for what siblings should do during a meltdown
• Scripts for how to talk to your other children about the plan 
• How to empower siblings to get help when they recognize lower level cues and clues of the watchdog or possum pathway in their sibling

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/helpsiblings

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to validate all your children’s feelings, even when they are really uncomfortable
• How to acknowledge the truth that in most circumstances, your other children really are less seen in your family
• The four questions to ask yourself when thinking about how to help your kids with their grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Grief In Parenting Kids With Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}
• Ableism, Parenting, And Trauma Informed Care {EP 85} (Guest Marshall Lyles)
• I HATE YOU! And Other Big Feelings {EP 168}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblinggrief

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Steps to take when teaching siblings about owls, watchdogs, and possums so they won’t feel like you’re just excusing bad behavior
• The importance of validating your kids’ experience that the way you parent their sibling is unfair
• A couple scripts for talking to your children about their sibling’s watchdog and possum brain (available on my website by CLICKING HERE)

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}
• Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {EP 114}
• My Child Won't Talk About Their Watchdog and Possum Brain {EP 160}
• EVERYONE Has A Watchdog And Possum Brain! {EP 178}
• Is Understand Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}
• Enabling Vrs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/teachsiblings

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

• The five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parenting
  • Are you parenting all your kids thru the lens of regulation, connection, and felt safety?
  • Do all your children know about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some other way to understand the brain and conceptualize behaviors)
  • Do your school-age and older child understand vulnerable nervous systems and sensitized stress response systems (overactive watchdog and possum brains)
  • Do your children (siblings of kids with special needs) feel really, truly seen by you?
  • Is this actually more about unresolved grief (yours and/or theirs)

• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean {122}
• Grief in Parenting Kids with a Vulnerable Nervous System {EP 129}
• Can I teach my kids about their brain? {EP 114}

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show!

This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore.

Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggression. This is one of my most played episodes EVER.

Juliane just published a new book on boundaries so when Sue and Ann asked if I wanted to do a podcast feed swap, I knew y'all would LOVE to hear from Juliane.

In this episode, you'll hear Sue and Ann interview Juliane all about Setting Boundaries that Stick.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Setting Boundaries that Stick by Juliane Taylor Shore
• Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley
• Boundaries with Verbal Aggression podcast episode #115 with Juliane Taylor Shore 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundariesthatstick

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parents of kids with baffling behaviors are CONSTANTLY being judged by others.

How do we get to a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think?

In this episode, we’ll explore:

• Some of the most common judgments that parents of kids with baffling behaviors receive
• How it’s actually not possible to not care at all, but we can care LESS
• Three things we can do so that the judgment from others doesn’t impact us as much as it does now

For a script on how to set boundaries with folks expressing judgment, go to: https://RobynGobbel.com/notcare

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• How Self-Compassion Changed Things For This Mom {EP 78}
• Influence Behaviors, Not Control {EP 101}
• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}
• Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}
• Secure Relating With Guests Sue & Ann From Therapist Uncensored {EP 175}
• Juliane's Book! : Setting Boundaries That Stick

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/notcare

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers

You know, one of my favorite things about studying relational neuroscience is discovering the science that proves things we’ve known all along. 

Not everyone needs the science, and I know some think the science detracts from the powerful truths that people have been brave enough to say and believe without having science to back it up.  

I think both approaches are fine.  I just happen to like the science.  

And yup, the science backs it up.

Acceptance really is needed if we want behavior to change.

I find this truth to both a bummer and also quite liberating.

How do we accept something without sending the message the it’s ok, no big deal, and there’s no need for it to change?

It’s hard, but possible.  You’ll hear my own journey toward this truth and a couple tips on how to do it yourself in this episode.  

Read a long summary of this episode here:  https://robyngobbel.com/howbehaviorchanges


Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective?

NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy!

Why does this distinction matter?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What safe and connected watchdog energy feels like
• What safe and connected possum energy feels like
• Why it’s important to remember we aren’t trying to get rid of the watchdog or the possum- we are trying to help them rest and only work hard when they need to

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Trauma Behavior? Or Just Acting Up? {EP 30}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/alwaysprotective

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?

If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding.  Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.  

The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable.  It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.  

In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful.  Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/Scaffolding

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. 

Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems:

There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can be OK.

In this episode, explore

• How to help create ‘good parent messages’ for children who feel unloved and unwanted
• Sitting with two conflicting feelings at once 
• The benefits of falling in love with yourself

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Children’s Mental Wellness Symposium- Las Vegas NV
  • September 26 - 29, 2024
  • Details and registration here: https://lasvegasplaytherapy.com/
• Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna Shapiro

Read the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/NothingWrong

Follow Me On:

Facebook

Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences.  At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver.  If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills.  They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own.  It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!

Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation!  We all need connection and co-regulation!  Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members!


Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What’s the connected response to {insert difficult behavior here}??

How do I respond to {insert difficult behavior here} in a connected way???

I get some version of this question almost every day. So, let’s answer it here on the podcast!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What most parents are really asking when they ask ‘what’s the connected response’?
• What a connected response really is
• How to trust your own intuition to answer that question

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}
• Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2 {EP 162}
• Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP163}
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Boundaries With Connection Part 1 of 3 {EP 111}
• Building The Tower Of Self-Regulation {EP 9}
• Stealing {EP 138}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/connectedresponse

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

It’s normal and common for stress and dysregulation to cause kids to act younger than they really are. This happens to grown-ups too! Simply because it’s normal and common doesn’t mean it’s not very frustrating!

In this episode, you’ll learn 

• A neurosequential explanation for regression
• How to use regression as a cue or a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system
• Ways to respond to regressed behavior that may increase regulation, connection, and felt safety

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• A NueroDevelopmental Approach: Right Intervention, Right Time {EP 47}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regression

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I’m sure you often feel like ‘getting your kid regulated’ is a very important goal!

But- is it? Is regulated the goal? And is it possible to even consider these kinds of questions when we are parenting very dysregulated kids with very dangerous behaviors?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The difference between a moment of being regulated and having a regulated (balanced) nervous system
• How regulation and dysregulation must coexist
• Why thinking about any of this high-level stuff when you have REAL PROBLEMS TO REALLY ADDRESS can be helpful

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Regulated Does Not Equal Calm https://RobynGobbel.com/lisadion

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regulatedthegoal

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Believe it or not, we don’t want to get rid of our kids’ watchdog and possum brains!

We want to help their watchdog and possum brain rest so they aren’t working so hard.

Their watchdog and possum brains are overworked and overactive.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why we must remember that everyone has a watchdog and possum brain
• How gratitude and acceptance of the watchdog and possum brain strengthens the owl brain
• We don’t want to get rid of our children’s watchdog and possums brains- we want to help them rest

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}
• Connection Or Protection??? {EP 7}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/everyone

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

When I work with parents whose child spends a lot of time on the possum pathway, I warn them that sometimes possum kids become watchdog kids before the finally have a nice, strong owl brain.

Because watchdog behaviors are often more intense and scarier than possum behaviors, this can feel like your child is ‘getting worse.’

It’s actually a sign of healing, and here’s why!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why kids who have a lot of possum behavior can sometimes become kids who have a lot of watchdog behavior
• Why this phenomenon usually means there is progress and healing happening
• Why sometimes kids move from possum behaviors to owl behaviors without having watchdog behaviors

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/possumsbecomewatchdogs

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired on December 22, 2020, episode 8

:::


I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons.  #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science.  #2- Self-compassion has tenacity.  There's no way out.  Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion.  I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally).

In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion.  We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change.  Why you deserve compassion.  Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes.  Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.

To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassion

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Is it possible to feel better even if your child’s behavior doesn’t change?

Even if the stress doesn’t change?

Theoretically, yes.

Your chronic watchdog or possum state means you are in chronic protection mode. Is it possible to shift out of protection mode before the chaos in your life changes?

That’s exactly what we address in today’s episode!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The two different paths you can take to feel better (come out of protection mode) even if the chaos in your life never changes
• The neuroscience behind how connection and co-regulation (for you!) becomes twice as important for your ability to stay more regulated even when things are really hard
• Resources to help you feel better (shift out of protection) that you can do by yourself, as well as resources that are based in connection and co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection Or Protection {EP 7}
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {EP 139}
• The Privilege Of Parenting With Safety {EP 169}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feelbetter

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired on September 20th, 2022

Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child's big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stress
• The impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response System
• How to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response System
• A reframe to shift your own Stress Response System 

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/

Check out my recent series on Building the Foundation of the Brain mentioned in this podcast HERE

Over on my website you can find:
Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)
What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)
Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Settle in for a fun and inspiring chat with hosts from Therapist Uncensored and authors of the new release Secure Relating, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How responding to our children’s (and partner’s) needs in the present moment, instead of from a place of anxious or avoidant states, can improve our relationships
• About the intersection of attachment and trauma in our systems of care- like the child welfare and mental health systems
• How much hope there is when we shift to looking at attachment in the here and now instead of based on our histories

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Ann and Sue's Podcast! - therapistuncensored.com
• Pre-order a copy of Secure Relating!
• Secure Relating Online Launch! - therapistuncensored.com/upcoming_events/

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/securerelating

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2023

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.

In this episode you'll learn:

• The importance of being self-attuned to what's hard vs. too hard
• How to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your child
• The difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Connection or Protection??? {7}
What to do after We Mess up {80}
Stress Response System {94}

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I’m sure you’ve had moments (days, weeks, months) where it felt hard, maybe even impossible, to keep offering connection to your child.

It is hard to offer connection to someone who seems to constantly reject it!

If it feels hard to keep offering your child connection, I actually want you to shift your focus. Don’t prioritize offering connection to your child. Instead think about:

• Who can offer YOU connection?
• How can you offer connection to yourself?
• Who could you offer connection to who is able to receive it, and offer connection back?

You’ll also learn how glitter boots are related to giving and receiving connection! 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/offeringconnection

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

If regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well, does that mean connected kids are always cooperative?

Definitely not! In fact, there’s a level of connection to others- and to themselves! - that invites in the safety to be UNcooperative!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How safety can invite both cooperative and UNcooperative behavior
• Why too much cooperation would actually be a bad thing
• How parenting with co-regulation and connection helps kids become more connected to themselves

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cooperative

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school. 

What you WILL learn in this episode:

• What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?
• Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpful
• You are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to school
• That sometimes, all we have to do is be nice

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza Fricker
• The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
• The Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker

How to Connect with Eliza Fricker:

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusal

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

The question of ‘can I heal’ or 'can my child heal' or ‘how do I (or my child) heal’ is a tricky one. 

Healing is a word that gets used a lot without really pausing to ask ourselves what it actually means. 

If we are aiming for a nebulous goal that hasn’t been defined, it will feel impossible to reach. Impossible tasks often feel hopeless.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why it’s most useful to stay focused on widening our window of stress tolerance
• How co-regulation contributes to healing
• How memory relates to trauma symptoms and healing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-Regulation {Ep 82}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}
• Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/heal

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on February 2nd, 2021***

Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most.  It's confusing.  It's triggering.  It's exhausting.

Did you catch last week's episode on X Ray Vision Goggles?  We can use those goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors.

Free Infographic:
https://RobynGobbel.com/lyinginfographic

Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/lying/

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?

This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.

This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.”

It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How nervous systems match each other
• How we get our sense of safety from the state of each other’s nervous system
• The serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!
• When Parenting Is Traumatic {EP 95}
• Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicallydysregulated

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2021***

Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???

This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.
1. Food, water, and movement
2. Structure, routing, and predictability
3. Stick close

These may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!

Download a FREE infographic:
https://RobynGobbel.com/dysregulatedinfographic

Read a full summary or the full transcript at: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulated


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

It’s very common for all humans- kids and adults- to have more behavior struggles and dysregulation. Kids with vulnerable nervous systems, as well as attachment trauma, are especially likely to demonstrate some confusing patterns with regard to where they are regulated and where they aren’t. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The neurobiology behind why it’s normal for kids (and adults) to behave better at school (or work or out shopping or wherever)
• How the connections in a family could be the trigger for dysregulation
• How all families tend to have moments that ebb and flow in dysregulation- this is normal

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment (Part 5 of 6) {EP 38}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• When Connection Isn't Safe {158}

Read the full transcript at: 

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on May 11th, 2021***

You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”

Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.

What if I told you it doesn’t matter?

Hear me out.

Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.

But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.

What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?

And then respond to that!!  

There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.

Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   

To view the full summary or the full transcript visit: https://robyngobbel.com/traumabehavior/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parenting with co-regulating and seeing below our kids behaviors is actually a privilege we rarely talk about. It’s always a privilege, but especially when we consider different marginalized and oppressed identities that a lot of kids- and those of you listening- intersectionally hold. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The definition of privilege (it is NOT a criticism)
• The privilege of safety for folks with histories of trauma
• The privilege of safety for folks with other marginalized and oppressed identities
• How this relates to parenting 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Mr. Chazz 
  • https://www.mrchazz.com/
  • https://www.instagram.com/mrchazz/
• Yolanda Williams & Parenting Decolonized
  • https://www.instagram.com/prntgdcolonized/
• What Happened to You? By Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/privilege

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parents of kids with a history of relational and complex trauma are some of the loneliness people I’ve ever known.

The loneliness of parenting becomes compounded when the loneliness isn’t seen.

The loneliness is traumatic.  It leaves an imprint on our spirits that wreaks havoc on our health (physical and mental) and our relationships (with others, and with ourself).

Undoing aloneness is one of the most important ways professionals and helpers can support parents of children impacted by trauma.

Parents- it's important to find spaces where you can be fully welcomed, seen, and known.  Friends, partners, therapists, support groups- face to face connections are life-changing of course, but the pandemic has taught us that even virtual connection changes the brain.

Undoing Aloneness is one of the primary reasons I created The Club- a virtual community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids impacted by trauma, and the professionals who adore them.  CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Over on my website, you can also read and share a blog about Undoing Aloneness.

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Kids with vulnerable nervous systems often say BIG, hurtful, and scary words. They say things like “I hate you!” or “You hate me!” They sometimes threaten to hurt themselves- or you! Verbal aggression almost always pulls us right onto the watchdog pathway ourselves- which is understandable. Let’s talk about how you might respond if you’re able to hang onto your owl brain.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• To stay focused on the level of activation, not the words being said
• What to say (if anything) back to statements like “I hate you,” “I wish you’d never adopted me,” or “I’m going to hurt you.” 
• How to start listening for what’s really being expressed

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/hate

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Robyn explores the grief in parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The relationship between trauma and grief
• Why it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselves
• The role of self-compassion
• How a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grief

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Have you ever felt confused by your child’s silly behavior? It seems like they are having fun, but it doesn’t feel good at all?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to tell the difference between fun-silly and dysregulated-silly
• What’s going on in the brain and nervous system for a child who is dysregulated-silly
• Practical ideas for how to support your child returning to regulation, connection, and felt safety

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• The Connected Therapist by Marti Smith
• Join The Club! Watch Marti's Master Class! - robyngobbel.com/theclub
• Marti’s video podcast & lycra tutorials: https://martiot.podbean.com/
• What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/silliness

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Our kids don’t need us to be perfect.  Not only do they not need us to be perfect, it would actually be bad for them if we were.  

In fact, research shows parents are in attunement with their children about 30% of the time.  30%!  That’s it!  

When I teach, I often reassure parents that ⅓ of their interactions with their child are “getting it right.”  About ⅓ of the time they are “getting it wrong” (whatever that even means- we all have our own, valid definitions).  The rest? The remaining ⅓? Well ideally, the other ⅓ is spent in repair.  

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/RuptureRepair

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parenting ‘experts’ forget to tell you the most important thing.

All this advice???

You’ll never do it all the time or even most of the time.

You don’t need to.

That’s not the point.

Together - me and you - let’s just aim for 1% better.

Professionals- this one's for you, too.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• A parenting professionals #1 job is to trust their clients
• Aim for 1% improvement. 5% ‘getting it right’ is better than 4%!
• Professionals don’t need all the answers. They need to believe their clients and not give up

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Neuroimmune Disorders and Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}
• Neuroimmune From The Inside Out {Ep 98}
• Loving Someone With Baffling Behaviors {Ep 99}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/enough

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What do I mean by vulnerable nervous system
• How to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous system
• What causes nervous system vulnerability
• How to support a child who has a vulnerable nervous system

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
Attachment Series ebook: Robyngobbel.com/ebook
The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/vulnerable

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Sometimes it’s those lower-level, chronic behaviors- like rudeness and sassiness- that can really deplete the very limited reserves we have saved up in our own window of stress tolerance. Then we waffle between over-responding (big reaction, tiny problem) or under-responding (ignoring dysregulation which ultimately leads to increased dysregulation). 

Kids in chronic protection mode often seem rude, sassy, and mildly oppositional. What do we do when it feels like every word out of our own mouths would be to correct our kid’s tone or disrespect?

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Where sassy, rude, and disrespectful language usually falls on the watchdog continuum
• Possibilities about what really be underneath your child’s rude behavior
• Times when it makes sense for our kids to have a what’s up watchdog brain response that we should respect, not try to change

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rude

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding the difference between having influence over behavior vs. control can help you get clear on what to focus on. 

One of the trickier parts of the work I do is talking so much with parents about attachment, their role in co-regulation, and felt-safety, without snagging into parent’s shame about every parent's deepest worry- that their child’s baffling behaviors are all their fault.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What it means to influence, not control
• What your real responsibility is in influencing behavior
• Responsibility does not equal blame
• How to acknowledge influence without shame

Read a summary or the full transcript at:
robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on a conversation between two attachment, trauma, and neuro-nerds, today is your chance.

Robyn and her dear friend and colleague, Jessica Sinarski, got together a few weeks ago for a live webinar to chat about how they have turned attachment science into practice.

If you missed that webinar, here’s your chance to listen in.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why most therapy trainings are inadequate for working with children with trauma and attachment histories
• How Robyn & Jessica learned how to put attachment science into practice
• What to do if your clients what a behavioral approach
• Why we don’t have to have all (or even most) of the answers

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Moving Beyond Trauma Informed with Jessica Sinarski
• Being With with Robyn Gobbel
• There might be more, I’m not sure

Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/attachmentscience/

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.

In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger
• How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)
• Why nervous systems are contagious
• How ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safety
• How you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}
• Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Misconceptions about felt safety
• External (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demands
• What we do with this information

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• Marti’s Book! - The Connected Therapist

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.

This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety.

What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters!

Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Misconceptions about felt safety
• Internal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection mode
• What we do with this information

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
• Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is.  Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence.  But- what does that really mean?  Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?”

Listen to the episode to learn:

• What regulation really is
• What co-regulation really is
• The ‘ingredients’ of co-regulation
• An example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)
• Active vs. passive co-regulation

In this podcast, I mention:
Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation?  Building the Tower of Self-Regulation
Regulation Does Not Equal Calm

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulation

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.

If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.

This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!

How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?
Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?
That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehavior


Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I know it feels very frustrating when you find a therapist, arrange your schedule, and find a way to pay for therapy only for your child to not participate. Often parents ask me how to get their child to participate or what to do if their child won’t participate.  

But actually what we really need to talk about is what does it look like to participate- or not- in therapy.  Especially as a child.

In this episode, we’ll talk about

• What therapy really is
• What the right pace is for your child
• How it’s not possible for your child to not participate (if the therapist is prioritizing safety)

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on What Therapy Really Is!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary of this episode, access the full show notes: RobynGobbel.com/ChildInTherapy

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

No matter how much effort we put into understanding behavior, seeing our kids for who they truly are, and connecting with their infinite worth, for those navigating the baffling behaviors of kids who have experienced trauma, or have sensitized stress response systems and/or vulnerable nervous systems, parenting can be traumatic

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why the experience of trauma in parenting isn't being talked about
• The kinds of experiences that make parenting traumatic
• Signs of toxic stress and trauma in parenting 
• Ways to get your nervous system what it needs to heal

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/parentingistraumatic

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Sometimes it feels like our kids have a hole in the bottom of their heart.  No matter how much love and attention is put in, it seems like it’s never ever enough.  

These kids cannot hold onto the feeling of presence and connection.  When it’s there, it’s great.  When it’s not, it’s like it was never there to begin with and they’ll never get it again.  They don’t have a string that connects them to all the moments of connection they’ve had in the past and all the moments they will have in the future.  

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What whining and clinging behavior means
• Why some kids seem like a bottomless pit of needs
• Steps to fill your child’s connection cup

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BottomlessPit 

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding your child's Mental Models, a specific kind of Implicit Memory, can help you make sense of your child's behaviors and helps you know what experiences they need from you to change their beliefs about themselves, relationships, and their sense of safety in the world. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What a Mental Model is and how it influences our perceptions and behaviors
• How our Mental Models are developed
• What conditions can create Mental Models that contribute to big, baffling behaviors
• How we can change Mental Models
• How to discover your child's Mental Models

Read the summary or full transcript at https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodels

Download a FREE worksheet to help you discover your child's mental models at https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodels

Free eBook
Watch the Trauma, Memory, Behavior video series and download the free eBook HERE or go to RobynGobbel.com/VideoSeries

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

• Complex memory science in a way that makes sense
• What happens when memory processing is disrupted by trauma
• Why disruptions in memory processing lead to difficult behaviors
• Clarity on what our children need in order to ‘jump start’ the memory processing system and ultimately decrease difficult behaviors

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at RobynGobbel.com/TraumaMemoryBehavior

Free eBook
Watch the Trauma, Memory, Behavior video series and download the free eBook HERE or go to RobynGobbel.com/VideoSeries

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

When your child can't handle hearing 'NO' or gets really dysregulated when a boundary is set, it can be really hard on the whole family. Understanding the role of Frustration Tolerance in your child's reaction to hearing 'NO' can help you set them up for growing this developmental skill.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why some kids are delayed in developing this complex developmental skill
• The impact of trauma on frustration tolerance
• The role of mental models and memory processing in developing frustration tolerance
• How we can set our kids up to grow this developmental skill

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/frustrationtolerance/

To learn MORE about the possum pathway, grab this FREE infographic about the Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain! CLICK HERE to get it sent to your inbox!

Want to learn more about disappointment? https://robyngobbel.com/disappointment

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A conversation with Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls, authors of Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith about blocked care- what it is, what causes it, and how families can begin to recover. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What is blocked care
• What are the symptoms
• How can you overcome blocked care

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Blocked Care Assessment: theadoptionconnection.com/parentingaftertrauma
• Website: Reclaimcompassion.com
• Book: Reclaim Compassion

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/blockedcare

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Looking for practical strategies to nourish a fried nervous system?

Living with someone who has significant vulnerability in their nervous system can lead to a sensitized stress response system, resulting in unpredictable and sometimes unsafe behaviors. This can leave our own nervous systems in a state of distress. While we often discuss secondary trauma in parenting kids with trauma histories, the truth is that living with someone who has significant dysregulation is trauma in itself. Understanding this perspective allows us to acknowledge the challenges we face without criticizing ourselves or others.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The impact of parenting on your nervous system
• The consequences of burnout and lack of support
• Signs of a fried nervous system
• Practical strategies for nourishing a fried nervous system

FREE
One-page PDF infographic- what to do when your nervous system is fried!

CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Previous episode recommendations:

• Connection vs. Protection (7)
• Self Compassion (8)
• Understanding Behavior is Not Excusing Behavior (109)
• Grief in Parenting Kids with Vulnerable Nervous Systems (129)
• Scaffolding (82)
• When Parenting is Traumatic (95)

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/fried

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have good psychological boundaries when our children are verbally aggressive. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What are psychological boundaries
• How do psychological boundaries help us
• Why good psychological boundaries are important when a child is verbally aggressive
• How to create space between your mind and another's mind

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Juliane Taylor Shore's website: https://www.cleariskind.com/
Juliane's boundaries course: ​​https://therapywisdom.com/neurobiology-of-feeling-safe/
Jules' Relationship Podcast : https://whydoesmypartner.com/

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries3


Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In part 2 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, we explore how to set boundaries that create success by providing structure and containment that offers safety, connection, and co-regulation.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How boundaries can create physical and emotional safety
• How to create the kind of boundaries your child really needs for continued development
• How to set boundaries with the intent of increasing regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Previous podcast episode https://robyngobbel.com/scaffolding

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries2

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Focusing on understanding what's driving behavior can sometimes make it feel like we aren't addressing the behavior at all. It can feel as if we are boundaryless and permissive. This episode sheds light on what boundaries really are and how focusing on regulation, connection and felt-safety increases compassionate boundaries in response to behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What boundaries really are
• How they are different than punishment and rules
• Examples of boundaries
• What to do when your child violates a boundary 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Previous podcast episode "But What about a Consequence?"

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries1

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

THIS EPISODE IS A REPLAY

Understanding behavior helps us actually solve the problem, leads to compassion, and actually helps behavior to change, but first we must understand why we are so afraid that understanding behaviors means we are excusing "bad" behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The difference between understanding behavior and excusing behavior
• Why understanding behavior is important
• What are our fears about understanding behavior
• What leads to behavior change
• The importance of compassionate boundaries

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/understandingbehavior

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?

They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?

I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).

This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain
• How we can use our kids’ behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)
• The role of distress tolerance
• Steps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behavior

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}
• Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdog

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Interested in joining The Club? Check out the details at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub.

We will be welcoming new members soon- April 1-4, 2025!

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook