A Special Holiday Sale for Garbage B*tches Only with Trixie and Katya

As we make the annual trek back to our hometowns to visit family, consume desicated turkey, and meet gross Uncle Rich's 22-year-old girlfriend with a dead tooth, let us take a moment to reflect on the past year and all the wondrous gifts that it has bestowed upon us, including that holly berry-hued eczema that appeared out of nowhere. From everyone at Bald Headquarters here in beautiful Gomorrah, California, we wish you and yours a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year. PS - the new ointment for that eczema should arrive before New Year's Eve.

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