096: Beyond Negativity

Negative emotions can be damaging to your physical and mental health, but they're also a normal part of the human experience. According to the law of polarity, you can't have one without the other. Lets talk about some tools we can use to limit the power of negativity.

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Episode Transcription:

0:00  So I've been thinking about the effects of negative emotions and shit like that like, stress, I guess stress would be a negative, yeah, of course, stress, anger, anxiety, all that kind of stuff. So the effects that it has on your physical health, it's something that I learned later in life. And it was, it was kind of surprising, because at first, when I started hearing about it, I'm like, How is it that like, shit that's going on your mind is going to negatively affect what's happening in your body. And I'm not a doctor, obviously. So I mean, I don't fucking know for sure how this stuff works. But my understanding is like, negative shit, like stress and all that stuff that kind of raises different things in your body, like cortisol. And that's stuff is beneficial for I got some notes here, like regulating blood sugar levels, and metabolism and all this kind of stuff. But when you're in a constant state of, of like anxiety, or stress or something, my understanding is it keeps these levels high, and then that stuff starts negatively affecting your body. 

 

1:04  So what's kind of interesting is, when you think about the the mind and body connection, I mean, it's, you know, I think I've mentioned this before, how I always thought of them as two separate things, but it's like the brain is in your body. So it's kind of stupid to think about it like that. But anyway, so. So I wanted to talk about that, because something got me thinking about this more, and sort of the direction of like, my reading and stuff has kind of changed a little bit more towards like spirituality and understanding, you know, the reason for fucking all this shit. It's kind of, I don't know, I'm just trying to find some new shit. And I've talked, if you've listened to the last few episodes, I've been talking about stuff like that. So. So it's interesting. I put a bunch of bullet points together. So I'm gonna just work through this. But one of the things that got me thinking is, okay, so 

 

1:55  So what ended up happening is, I was doing 75 heart, I was like, three days in, and I was like, all kind of like, hyped up about this round. And I've done it a bunch of times, but like, this time, I was like, Alright, I'm gonna get a schedule, I'm gonna do all these kinds of things. I'm gonna put everything in place. And I'm gonna get like hyper disciplined and structure my day and do things just a little bit more intense, and put more into it and all that stuff. And so I was all hyped up about it. And then, I don't know if I told this story. I hope it didn't. So I'll just kind of summarize it real quick. But anyway, we were moving a piece of equipment into the, into the shop, and it fell over and it landed on my toe, so I broke my toe. totally smashed it. You know what I did talk about this anyway. So if you listen to the previous episodes, you already know, so I smashed by toe. And then I got off of I just decided, I don't know, I had it in my head. I was like, if I if I still work out on a broken toe, it's just gonna, just gonna take longer to heal. 

 

2:54  And like my girlfriend, Jessie, she's kind of a, she's, she's, she's crazy when it comes to stuff like this, like she's broken her toe and like, fucked up her ankle and she still goes to the gym, and she still runs on him. And she's like it at fucking Krav Maga classes, like doing fucking, her kicks are insane. Like I've trained, I trained with her and I hold the bag for like, it's like have like a tree trunk hitting the side of a bag. So like, she's just like going full power, kicking heavy bags with like, three broken toes. And I'm just like, Man, I don't got it like that. That's too much for me. So I was like, I'm just gonna chill, and rest and let this fucking thing heal. I had it in my mind. Like, if you rest, you know, your body's able to put more energy towards that. I don't know, I just what I had in my mind. Like, if I were to work out, I'm like, it's going to divert resources, and it's going to take longer for the toe to heel. 

 

3:48  Long story short, I took a couple weeks off, I don't know how long it's been. And so the longer I get away from that, you know, the more compromises of food and shit like that, and you know, like my body, I can start seeing like, shit change. And I'm like, Man, kind of fallen off my game. And then exercise is so important physical exercise, you just got to do it. It's like, I'm just so much more emotionally, like, in control. I'm just feeling better. It's, it's well known that exercise is very helpful in this way. 

 

4:23  So anyway, I kind of slipped into sort of a rut. And I was, I was feeling a lot of negative emotions. And I've been reading Eckhart Tolle, I don't know if he say that. That's how you say his name. He writes a lot about spirituality and stuff. And so I'm reading one of his books, I think, like the power of now and then I'm listening to another one called a new earth. And he talks a lot about this kind of shit. And he has some interesting ways of looking at negative emotion. So I'll get to that in a second. 

 

4:54  But, so there's two things right, so you have negative emotions, and positive emotions and so of course, into the, if you listen to the laws of the universe episode, or if you've read books on it, the law of polarity states that you can't have one thing without the other. So you don't have positive without negative, you don't have light without darkness and all these kinds of things. So if you think about negative and positive emotions, if you were always happy and always positive, and always, you know, on top of shit, that would just be normal. So I just believe that if you didn't experience these negative emotions, or if you didn't experience these lows, you wouldn't really be, you wouldn't really feel the highs as much, and maybe you wouldn't be as grateful when they're there. You know, that's my opinion. So it's not really about eliminating negative emotions. For me, it's like, obviously, you want to have more highs than lows, but at the same time, I believe that there's a balance to all these kinds of things. So you're gonna have highs and lows. And that's just kind of like the normal way that the normal human experience, right. 

 

6:01  So if you listen to Eckhart Tolle, he talks a lot about this, and one of the things he talks about is something called the pain body. So according to him, it's old emotional pain that has become part of your identity. So a lot of times when you're feeling these emotions, that's where it's coming from. You said the pain body is created through like a process of identification with past emotional traumas. Now, I don't know if that's what happens to me. I mean, I don't know, I think it's more for me, I think it's more I stress about the future a lot. So like, I find a heart, I find it hard to be present. You know, during this kind of downtime in my, in my exercise, like, exercise really helps me not sort of live like that, you know, so anyway, 

 

6:44  so mainly about what I wanted to talk about with that card toll is his idea of non resistance, which I really like, if you think about it, when you're having like negative emotions, like if you're pissed, if you're stressed or something like that. You're trying to resist it, you know, you're trying to, you know, for me, I think I think part of what keeps me in that state is that I'm unhappy that I'm in that state, if that makes sense. So when he talks about is like, non resistance, and I think what was the other thing, he said something about, like, oh, he said, like acceptance and surrender, it's almost like, at some point, you're feeling all these negative emotions, and then you're, you're feeling negative emotions, because you have a negative opinion about the fact that you're feeling like that. So it just keeps feeding itself. And it's hard to get yourself out of it because of that. And so one of the things that he talks about that's really interesting is like, instead of sitting there and being upset that you're upset, what if you were to just say, you know, except that, that you're like that, except that that's what you're feeling in the moment, just stay in the present, and be like, This is what I'm experiencing right now. And that's okay. It's not the end of the world. And it's like part of the human experience, it's part of the law of polarity. It's like, I'm feeling this way that today, or maybe, you know, hopefully, it doesn't last the whole day. For me, it doesn't generally. 

 

8:08  But I'm feeling this way right now. And then later, I'm probably going to feel good, and it's going to kind of go back and forth. And, you know, happiness is one of those things that sort of comes and goes and same thing with stress and negative emotions. But if you're sitting there stressed about the fact that you're stressed or unhappy that about the fact that you're sad about something or whatever, it's, I believe, it's going to keep you in that state for longer. So if you just accept the fact that that's how you feel, and just sort of be there in the moment, and just be cool with it, then it's most likely going to go away faster. And that's what I've been, I've been experiencing, but also I've been exercising again. So I think that's very helpful. 

 

8:50  So another thing he talks about is observing the emotion. So if you're sitting there feeling some kind of stress, if you can kind of disconnect from the fact that it's you that's feeling that and be the observer of it, it's kind of a weird thing, and I've talked about it with meditation before, it's an interesting way to sort of come at, come at this type of thing. So like, when you use that kind of technique and meditation, let's say you're trying to learn how to meditate and you're doing the thing I talked about, like where you focus on your breath. And then these thoughts keep sort of creeping in, you can look at the thoughts like if you if you take the what is it like the seat of the observer? So like, I just want to observe those thoughts. It's kind of weird, how they just go away, because it's almost like you can't really focus on the two things at the same time. And with emotional with negative emotions, it doesn't, I find that it doesn't really quite work like that. But at the same time, if I if I take the seat of the observer, and I just, you know, observe the emotions, it reduces their intensity, and that's the other thing that Eckhart Tolle talks about. So it's kind of a interesting way of approaching it. 

 

10:02  So another thing he talks about, and this is, this is kind of, it's obvious to me now that I know it, but now, I didn't always know it. So it's, it's interesting, like, not identifying with the negative emotions is super helpful. So like, for example, if you were like saying, I'm just a stressed out person, or I have anxiety, or all these kinds of things, like if you're, if you're identifying as somebody that exists like this, it's not realistic, it's not, that's not who you are these negative things, and these kinds of things that maybe are sort of working their way into being part of your identity, isn't that really, your identity, it's just shit that sort of passing, passing through. So it's like, kind of like, what I was talking about with the law of polarity, like, negative emotions are going to come and go, positive emotions are going to come and go, neither one of those things are really part of your identity, part of your identity, it's just part of your experience, your human experience. 

 

11:02  And so another sort of practical way of of using this non resistance is just sort of accepting the kinds of things that might stress you out. So like, for me, I'm, I'm dealing with all this shit, my business that's completely out of my control and studying stoicism, I should know better than to let these things that are out of my control, affect me negatively, because that's really like a huge part of the, the stoic philosophy. So it's easier said than done, obviously. But if you just accept the fact that this stuff is happening, and just understand that this is just part of the human experience, like the shit that's stressing me out or my business, I could just accept that it's happening, I could do everything that's in my control, to try to fix everything. But the stuff that's out of my control, it's just, that's, that's all it is, I just have to accept that it's happening. And so all of these kinds of ways of looking at dealing with stress and kind of disconnecting and accepting and all this kind of shit, it's very helpful, because there's not really much else that I can do. Like, if, if these things are going to happen anyway. And I'm going to stress about it, then then not only are they not only are these things going to happen, but now I'm fucking up my health, by allowing myself to be so affected by it. Whereas if I could just accept the things that are happening, understand that they're, they're not within my control, especially if I'm taking proactive action on the things that I can control, then that's really all I can do. 

 

12:36  So there's really no choice but to accept it, or to sit there and dwell in it. And obviously, sitting there and dwelling and it is, it's just not a good way to go. So it's, like I said, all this shit is easier. It's much easier said than done. But it's like, these are tools that you can kind of like try to use, you know, to create these habits and create these skills to be able to deal with this kind of shit. Because everybody has shit. Like there's, I don't believe there's anybody in life that doesn't deal with shit. Like you could, you could compare your shit to other people and think like, well, you know, this guy has no arms and no legs, like, what am I complaining about, it's not going to make your shit shit any easier to deal with, because somebody has it worse than you, you know, so. So we all need these kinds of tools, like we all need these ways of dealing with, with whatever shit it is we're dealing with. 

 

13:27  So although these action steps tend to be a little bit repetitive, especially when I'm talking about shit like this, I'll just go through them anyway. But it's obviously recapping, some of what I just talked about is like not judging the emotions, not judging yourself for having these emotions and just sort of accepting them. And understanding this is just part of the human experience. This is what you're feeling right now. Try not to have an opinion on it, try not to dwell on it and just sort of like, observe the emotions and see if that helps kind of ease it a little bit, especially not having an opinion on it. That's, I'm finding that to be incredibly helpful. 

 

14:07  The other thing I always talk about is like mindfulness techniques, like meditation, if you if you don't like doing that, I understand it's, there's a lot of mornings when I'm like, I just don't want to fucking do it. In fact, I don't think I meditated this morning. So I mean, I understand but it's very helpful. And if you're gonna have to sit there and meditate, you can always just, you can always just be mindful in what you're doing. Like that could be a form of meditation, like if you feel like I'm gonna get a quick 15 minute workout instead of listening to music or a podcast or something like that. Maybe you could just focus on exactly what you're doing and try not to think about anything other than the lifting the weights or the running or whatever you're doing. Being completely mindful in the moment and not having any outside stimulus. That's kind of a form of meditation as well. 

 

14:56  So that's something that you can do and physical activity, you just have to do it. I mean, I, I fucking hate doing it. So I mean, I'm not the one. You know, that's always like trying to encourage people coming from a place where I'm like, I love doing that shit because I hate it. But you just have to do it, especially these days. Like, I don't know that they're doing something to the food. If you eat any processed food, man, I don't know, just stop doing that. Because conspiracy, tinfoil hat Me is coming out like they're fucking with us. So get off the process food, eat real food. If you can't look at it and know what the fuck it is, then, you know, maybe it's not something you should be eating. I mean, read the ingredients. But stay away from the overly processed foods, get some exercise, get yourself healthy, that stuff's gonna go a really long way. 

 

15:47  One last thing, we still have this Discord server and there's a cool community there. It's very small right now, trying to get more people in there. If you've made it this far into the episode, it may be a place that you would enjoy. We talked about personal development ship, we talked about graph and art and different things like that. If you would like to join hit me up at bus 166 on Instagram, and we'll talk about it. And if you're on Twitter, follow me on Twitter. I've been fucking with Twitter @bus166msk Alright, later

 

16:26  appreciate each and every one of you guys who are supporting the cause and continue to spread the love and yeah, stay up