The Great and Secret Knowledge
In this episode, James Lark returns to discuss chapters 11 thru 14 of Jonathan Stroud's fantasy masterpiece, The Amulet of Samarkand. In these chapters, we discuss Peter Rabbit, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, being handcuffed to your enemy, the election of popes, and more!
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Recommendations
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)
Possible Show Titles
A Noble Entity From Another Place
Unwillingly Entwined
Suppress the Fanboy
Obscene and Fetid and Fug
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Omniversal Escapades (Jeff’s livestreaming RPG show)
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Links
"Resurrection of the Daleks" - Doctor Who
Joe Ford, podcaster extraordinaire
genius loci from Dresden Files
Mills and Boone romance novels
the real Gladstone and Disraeli
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)
Life, the Universe and Everything
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Extended Notes
Chapter 11
B is impressed that N is framing his master
N denies it
B explains how unusual it is to target your own master, especially so early in your education
B explains how apprenticeship is meant to work
"Since the days of the Median Magi, students have always lived alone in their mentors’ house—one master to one pupil, conducting their lessons with secrecy and stealth. From ziggurat to pyramid, from sacred oak to skyscraper, thousands of years pass and things don’t change."
B likes that the kid is so ambitious, willing to get his master killed
B hadnt heard of Underwood so he figured he was a lowlevel nobody. This suggests that B has been summoned in the past few decades (unless wizards have extra long lifespans)
"he had all the time-honored attributes that other humans associate with great and powerful magic: a mane of unkempt hair the color of tobacco ash, a long whitish beard that jutted outward like the prow of a ship, and a pair of particularly bristly eyebrows."
Martha is fully dressed and B is relieved. He must not like female nudity - that or hes not into older women
Underwood complains about the spider (B) to Martha
B goes to study, sees a pentacle on the door
B puts on a shield
the amulet sucks up the fire from the trap
he slips in and sees the study
he remarks that the security is pretty weak
he goes into the cabinet and is underwhelmed by the objects inside
he slides the amulet behind a bird token
B goes up stairs but stops when he sees Mrs U leading N down
N knows hes screwed because B is supposed to quietly stick near to him until summoned
U is so rude to N and his wife
B hears Nathaniels name!
B studies the boys appearance and manner
B capers to attract Ns attention
Underwood complains about the PM hanging with Makepeace, who writes misonformation into his plays
he thinks the PM should help the interior dept instead of socializing
U says N has done well enough to perform his first summoning
U thinks the boy is scared of summoning but its actually cuz N is tripping about B hearing his real name
the plan is to summon a natterjack impling or a mouler. B is unimpressed
Ns contact lenses have arrived
N hears a noise at the door
U disregards it
he wants N to bring a book of names
N clearly can tell B got his name
The boots were on the other eight feet now
Chapter 12
He complains about U not teaching him enough
he says how hes read all these books
N says its peaceful and he likes the statue. Who is it?
Its Gladstone!
he was a powerful PM
fought duel with Disraeli over a woman
he gets shirty about it and starts ranting about how good the govt is
she explains that some countries dont need magicians
he says she doesnt know anything because shes a commoner
she says commoners can be smart
he asks if she wanted to be a wizard
she says no and shes happy to be an art teacher
N is surprised she has other pupils
it makes me feel queasy
Mrs U blows in frantic
Apparently U wants him to meet some guests
Miss L thinks this is good news
U is daunted by the thought of meeting all these magicians
they dont look like magicians
N is underwhelmed
U is schmoozing
when he sees N he waves him over
meets three wizards
old tomato face
clammy doughboy
slickback big teeth aka simon lovelace
doughboy has a question
big teeth is super rude
N contradicts one of them
U sends him away
BT observes that hes not afraid of his elders
perhaps you dont think we're your betters?
N doesnt answer cuz hes confused
BT demands a quiz from N
U isnt protecting him at all
N answers all the questions right
Simon asks him about six words of direction
U objects because he shouldnt know that yet
N does it
men are impressed
SL says some rude shit and N claps back
calls him a sore loser
SL has demons attack the boy
everyone is staring at N
he looks to U who is mad at him instead of SL?
he leaves and goes upstairs
he runs into Mrs U
he asks her who the bigteeth guy is
she says its Simon Lovelace
repetition of You're capable of nothing. You're helpless. You're too weak to fight back
does James ever use this technique?
he goes to the workroom and grabs the box of mites
the party is breaking up, with wizards at the door.
N says the words and smashes the box with a hammer
the six mites go for the magicians
Simon bats his away
dough face falls down outside and gets a couple attacking his skin
old man barely reacts, sending his into the carpet, where Simon smashes it with his foot
U is shocked. He goes to doughface and deactivates the mites
N rushes to the schoolroom
Ms Lutyens is there
she realizes N is upset and goes to comfort him
SL uses magic to lift N into the air, tips him up butt first, and spanks him repeatedly until he loses all sense
hes stuck in his room for a month, punished severely. he hd no lessons and could only sit in his room and look out the window
he finds a pen and starts sketching the outside. then he begins intricately plotting his revenge
did you plot anything at age 10? seems unusual
Mrs U is forbidden from talking to him
when school starts again he learns that Ms Lutyens has been fired
chapter 13
he spends a lot of time in the garden, plotting revenge or reading books
he looks to the statue of Gladstone for inspiration, to keep his determination up
he plans to emulate Gladstone by punishing his enemies
N decides to come at Lovelace with sneakiness and trickery, not head on
N pretends to be reformed, wearing a meek and pliant mask
he controls his face just like a master liar/sociopath
he doesnt see U as his master anymore
Underwood not defending him made N lose all respect. A master should treat an apprentice like their child
why didnt U protect him? because hes a coward afraid of Lovelace's power
did you ever have a situation like that?
sacking Ms Lutyens was among U's worst crimes
N could not forgive U for this
Mrs U was his only light, but he couldnt be totally honest with her
he doesnt have his own lenses yet so he used the masters to summon an imp
he makes a polished bronze disc
he waits until the Us leave for a trip
he makes a circle and uses a bowl of rowan wood and hazel
he steps into his circle and begins
he starts his incantation and wishes he had some water
once you start you cant safely stop
a naked baby with yellow eyes and red lips appears
N confines it into the disc
N can now spy all over the place. he keeps the disc hidden under the roof tiles
first he spies on his masters office, but gives up after seeing how boring it is
he spies on Ms Lutyens and her pupil
N orders imp to spy on Lovelace. it balks at this given how powerful S is
this job its not impossible, just difficult
he sees SL typing on a computer
imp is getting bored, N orders him to stay
he says a word that causes the imp pain
he cant get too near in case Lovelaces defenses twig
this brings us to the introduction of the scary huge beardo
L is startled by the mans appearance, suggesting that the guy bypassed all his security. how does he do that?
L whips out a bunch of cash
Imp warns him that a watcher is on its way
N tells him to stay until the last second
L reaches out for his prize
Big Beardo gives him a small parcel, which he frantically unwraps
imp dips out but before he does N sees the amulet
hes being annoying but N demands to know what he saw and heard
L was super eager
Big Beardo says "the Amulet of Samarkand is yours, Lovelace."
six months pass while he prepares his plan. the imp cant get that close again
U is still slowrolling him, thinking hes too dull to teach new things
chapter 14
Bartimaeus decides to manifest as a human next time hes summoned
he decides to look like Ptolemy, a fourteen year old Egyptian boy. he thought it would inspire the boys jealousy and rivalry
B is stoked cuz he has a handle on the kid now
N goes to his circle
B appears in London gear
N tries to order B
Bs like give over, kid
N is losing his cool
Nathaniel goes for the Systemic Vise
Bartimaeus intones Nathaniel's name, followed by a counter-spell
the kid cancels the spell before it can rebound on him
Bartimaeus keeps flippin shit
B says he'll go back to his bag of tricks
the kid busts out the Stimulating Compass
B launches this one back and nearly kills the kid a second time
Bartimaeus is like careful your master will come up to see what youre doing
N isnt worried
he realizes that B learned his name and thats how he could counterspell
(but didnt he already show that he was anxious about it in the scene with the master about getting his name?)
N gets mad when B talks like a teen
he starts to get into a fighting stance, B follows his lead
Ptolemy was very similar in look to Nathaniel, though much better looking (I'm wondering if Bartimaeus's love for him is sexual as well as filial)
N ponders how he can break Bartimaeus without being countered
B hopes that he can exhaust the boy by making him angry
B finds out that N isnt working for anyone else, he's doing it on his own
B tells him some girl tried to take the amulet
N is intrigued, but charges on
he tells B about big beardo
about how he was covered in blood
he thinks Lovelace is up to some bad business
N starts to give B new orders but B explains how he has no leverage
he tells N that he could spill Ns name to friends and enemies
N decides to pull that move where you send multiple copies of the blackmail info to your attorney to be mailed to the media in the event of your death
it works!
B gives in and agrees to continue working