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The Mel Robbins Podcast

Incredible Research From Harvard: 4 Simple Tools to Conquer Your Fear

54 min • 24 april 2023

A few years ago, I found this study from Harvard, and it changed my life.

It's research about performance and feeling nervous, with a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again.

I’ve been using this technique with my five second rule for years, and the first way I applied it was to get control of my nerves and fear of public speaking.

I’m going to teach you this new method in a super cool way... by taking you on the road, on stage, and behind the scenes with me as I deliver a keynote address to 3,000 people at the convention center in Dallas.

I’ve been wanting to bring you on the road with me for awhile, and this topic allowed me to record this episode live in multiple locations while all kinds of things were unfolding.

There’s even an impromptu guest appearance from Michelle Poler, whose entire speaking career is about teaching people how to face their fears.

This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage.

The #1 fear most people have is public speaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better.

Stop letting fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all.

And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is sign up here.

Already a quarter of a million students are taking the course for free.

I’m just waiting for you!

Xo Mel 

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

 

  • 5:00: I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story.
  • 10:15: The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge.
  • 12:15: One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this.
  • 13:30: This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker.
  • 15:15: The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s.
  • 16:30: Failure sucks, but the Pratfall Effect says failure can work for you. 
  • 19:00: I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela.
  • 21:45: Best journal starter question ever: Are you alive but not living?
  • 24:30: Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice.
  • 28:15: Turns out modeling nude is actually a really profound experience. 
  • 29:00: Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention.
  • 30:00: How can you tell the difference between true intuition and limiting fear?
  • 32:30: How do you get over your fear of public speaking?
  • 34:00: Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need.
  • 40:15: Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center.
  • 40:40: I’m going to face my biggest fear next year for Oakley’s 18th birthday.
  • 42:00: When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this.
  • 44:30: Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself.
  • 50:00: You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up.

 

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