The Offensive

Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. 

All voices by Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City take on SkyBet Championship side Blackpool in the Third Round of the FA Cup. Before the game, Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall takes Club Chairman Patrick Nolan to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A new year, and a new beginning for Ashwood City, as the second Dan Watson era gets underway with a visit from fellow Premier League strugglers Everton. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Ant McGinley as David Hall 

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Ashwood City.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas 

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Ant McGinley as David Hall 

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom / Chris Well

Jemma Moore as Danielle Broom 

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Vanessa Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the Premier League fixtures wrap up before the World Cup break, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan is still trying to secure the services of Mauricio Pochettino. Meanwhile, the players await their international call-ups, and the club bids farewell to Chief Player Liaison Officer, Theo Clinton.  

The Offensive will return on Boxing Day 2022. For exclusive episodes between now and then – including a special World Cup bonus episode – subscribe to the Ashwood City Patreon for just $5 a month: www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Ant McGinley as David Hall 

Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis Clark

Additional Voices:

Darcey Ferguson

Adam Jarrell

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The World Cup break approaches and Ashwood City desperately needs a new manager to take the reins during the much needed downtime. Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh get to work with their array of scouting talent, Patrick however is distracted by an old acquaintance.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an unwanted distraction from the day's events for Patrick Nolan. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately desires. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Joel Emery as Hugh Chambers

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal turmoil...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Karim Kronfli as Judge Gastrell

Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram

Harry Attwell as Robert Granger

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For the first time in its history, the Ashwood City Stadium has changed its name courtesy of a new revenue stream secured by Chairman Patrick Nolan MBE. The fallout from this momentous chapter in the club's history is hostile, to say the least.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the day of the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II. In a momentous occasion for both the club and country, an opportunistic Patrick Nolan decides to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer. 

The Offensive will return after the International Break.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a momentous day in Ashwood City's history as they travel to the Nou Camp to take on Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League... The historic occasion is somewhat spoiled by a deepening financial crisis at the club. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas 

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Darcey Ferguson

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City are the visitors at St James' Park in a must-win game for the Super Whites.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall & Kieran Broom

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

League form has never been worse, their Head Coach has finally been charged by the police and a multitude of other crises emerge... Ashwood City are feeling the heat as Deadline Day approaches.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

Additional Voices:

Nalan Burgess

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall enjoy the facilities of Broadley Country Club. All is not as it seems, however, as Patrick confides in his Chief Executive.  

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood staff are impressed with the delivery of a summer project by the new Ashwood City Chief Executive Officer. An envious Patrick Nolan sets out to undermine all the hard work done by Chris 'Woody' Woodall and the rest of the club. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Premier League football returns as Ashwood City host Fulham at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E is eager to kick off the new era with a bang, whilst newly appointed C.E.O Chris 'Woody' Woodall concentrates on cleaning the mess left by Head Coach Eric Van Smit's antics at the end of last season. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Kate Mason

Luke Moore

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The makers of The Offensive are here to introduce you to their groundbreaking new drama, BOOM, starring Akie Kotabe, Sharon D. Clarke MBE and Omari Douglas.

This is Episode 1, just search ‘BOOM’ wherever you get your podcasts to get all six episodes of Season One now!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City are leading 2-1 in a game they simply must win. Yet with just 15 minutes remaining they've been caught on the break with no one back to cover...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Ant McGinley as David Hall

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City head into their final game of the 2021/22 season: a home tie against relegation battlers Leeds United. With a win Ashwood City would seal Champions League qualification for the first time in a generation.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Ant McGinley as David Hall

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Patrick Nolan MBE has secured full ownership of the club as Ashwood City thrash Norwich and set up a tantalising final pair of fixtures against Brighton and Leeds. The new takeover however has a final few tweaks to the personnel before completion.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Additional voices:

Nalan Burgess

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anaheim Sports Group are finalising the sale of 55% of Ashwood City to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, making him the outright owner of the club. As well as Anaheim Sports Group, Manchester City are also in town as Ashwood look to remain in the race for Champions League qualification.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a demoralising defeat to Everton at Goodison Park, the Ashwood City juggernaut has stalled... But the headlines are dominated by an offer from Patrick Nolan to purchase the rest of the club and the news has hit the fanbase hard.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief Executive Patrick Nolan MBE is enjoying a well-earned break in the Seychelles. Little does he know that a seismic decision Stateside will cut his trip short.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City have rediscovered their form at the right time in the season. Next up, fellow sanctioned Premier League side Chelsea FC.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Premier League football returns, as does a familiar face to Ashwood City Football Club...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From the creators of The Offensive. The chart-topping comedy drama retelling the Whitechapel murders returns for a second series.

Search ‘Jackie the Ripper’ wherever you get your podcasts to catch up on season one now and follow @JackieRipperPod on Twitter.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An unprecedented sanction has hit Ashwood City Football Club following the exposure of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's links to problematic Russian investment. With tight restrictions and panic setting in, Patrick must ensure he can get the UK government to ease the ruling.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A humbling 3-0 defeat at West Ham prompts Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to review the game in the analysis room. Interim Head Coaches Chris Well, David Hall and the entire first team squad are in attendance for the match review.

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Ant McGinley as David Hall

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Adam Jarrell as Chris Well

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Episode written by: Joel Emery

Edited by: Adam Jarrell

Directed by: Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer: Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With global politics playing havoc with the stability of Ashwood City assets, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has his eye drawn to another Premier League club as Ashwood host Newcastle United at Dartley Park.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a humbling defeat to Burnley at Turf Moor, filling the vacant managerial role has become an absolute priority for the club. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh disperse amongst European cities to approach their managerial targets. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the early hours of the morning, Ashwood City Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall wakes to the news that club captain Kieran Broom has committed a public misdemeanour after being removed from a nightclub. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is working closely with Amazon Prime Video to ensure that the next season of 'All or Nothing' covers Ashwood City Football Club. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Nalan Burgess as Nina Bradshaw

Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A jaw dropping exit by Head Coach Sven Goran Eriksson in the closing stages of Deadline Day leaves Ashwood City in disarray. A long term managerial search is in the pipeline, but in the short term the club need to choose a man for the job.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Ant McGinley as David Hall

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Deadline day has arrived and Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is chasing the highly controversial offer from Real Madrid for star forward Kevin; much to the dismay of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City host a thrilling Premier League clash with Wolves as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall field unwanted interest in Kevin from a European super club.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Joaquin Augusto Quinteros

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As matchweek two of AFCON begins, Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly out to Cameroon to ensure high profile talent Christian Akuffo is being taken care of.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Ashwood City hierarchy head to The Big Apple. Brazilian centre forward Kevin, however, is lost in New York. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the fallout from his recent public faux-pas, pressure is mounting on Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he attempts to evade the authorities. A visit to a local children's hospital, however, may have given him the inspiration he needs.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Amidst speculation of an incoming independent regulator, the Premier League summons its cohorts to launch a media offensive and counter the argument.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

Alex Marshall as Will Wright

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has secured a massive sponsorship deal with a cryptocurrency marketplace that even involves an unprecedented £200m stadium naming-rights deal.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Premier League returns and the international break has caused havoc with Ashwood City's playing staff. Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson is determined however to field an unchanged side as they travel to Manchester City... much to the fury of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City take on Burnley at home in the final Dartley Park fixture before Remembrance Sunday. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan works closely with his communications team to ensure the memorial presentation is befitting of those who sacrificed their lives. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional Voices:

Thomas Mitchells

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To address the ongoing concerns over the legitimacy of the summer purchases; Chief Exectutive Patrick Nolan is heading out to ASG Headquarters in Los Angeles. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Vanessa Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To celebrate Acast's Audio Fiction Week, take a peek behind the curtain of Ashwood City with this special behind-the-scenes look at the making of episode 126 of The Offensive. Featuring creators Joel Emery and Adam Jarrell as well as Paul Waggott (Patrick Nolan) and Helena Doughty (Jess Tate).  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has questions to answer from not only the Premier League but also the ownership of his own club. With the summer acquisitions under scrutiny; the race to clean up their act intensifies, as speculation over an independent regulator heightens. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The elite members of the Premier League react with fury at the takeover of Newcastle United Football Club. As crisis talks begin between clubs and league, Ashwood City are unexpectedly asked along to attend the high level meeting.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall join one another on the road for back-to-back Premier League away games at Leeds United and Watford.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As Ashwood City's form improves, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall secures a new First Team Coach to work under Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Ant McGinley as David Hall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The feel-good factor around the club is spilling over into the private life of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Once besieged by abuse and torment, it would seem the fans have finally been appeased... Those popular new acquisitions however are coming at a costly price.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City arrive in Liverpool on the eve of their match with the 2020 PL Champions. With new signings Vassos, Luna and Kevin travelling in the matchday squad, expectations are high... But for Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton the matchweek is much more complicated. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The English transfer window is closing fast and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is struggling under the pressure; during the once in a lifetime window for Ashwood City. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Amina Koroma as Dofi Akuffo

Additional Voices:

Joaquin Augusto Quinteros 

Joel Emery 

Episode written by: Joel Emery

Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Directed by: Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer: Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The opportunity to improve the Ashwood City squad for the 2021/22 Premier League season is slipping away. An old ally of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan offers an unlawful alternative to their transfer woes. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery 

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Premier League returns and the new power structure of Ashwood City has Patrick Nolan at the helm. Lack of activity in the transfer window has provoked a strong backlash from the fanbase, leading to widespread vandalism. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas

Additional Voices:

Danny Jamieson

Jonny Blain

Erika Marchant

Ant McGinley

John Walker

Marcus Speller

Jim Campbell

Pete Donaldson

Natalie Green

Esmonde Cole

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the final matchweek of the Premier League season and Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan finds himself with a new level of power. The dramatic events of the week before have not been taken lightly by Anaheim Sports Group as Patrick takes to The University of Ashwood to reflect on his recent endeavours.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms

Adam Alexander as Adam Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Nalan Burgess

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wembley Stadium plays host to the FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Ashwood City. As kick-off looms, the historic purchase of 30% of the club on behalf of the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust comes to completion. 

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Adam Alexander as Adam Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With a new regime being installed at the club and an FA Cup final on the way, acting Chief-Executive Jess Tate continues to assist the transition. 

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Luke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill 

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The hierarchy of Ashwood City is turned on its head as the Supporters Trust gain significant progress due to some help from an old friend. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Adam Alexander as Adam Tate

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Luke Stevenson

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Off the back of a huge FA Cup Semi-Final appearance for Ashwood City; European football is thrown into chaos as The Super League announce their arrival on the world stage.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Adam Alexander as Adam Tate

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Nalan Burgess

Luke Stevenson

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wembley Stadium plays host to Leicester City v Ashwood City in the FA Cup Semi-Final. A government approved test event has allocated seats for 4,000 supporters inside the 90,000 seater. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Kelly Somers as Herself

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is losing his grip on his position at the club as Anaheim Sports Group have accepted the offer from Harvey Simms. With the deal underway, all Patrick has to work with is a name... 'Bohai'.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Esmonde Cole as KFC

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City face Manchester City in matchweek 30 of the Premier League. As the domestic season looks to be a fairly quiet one on the pitch for the Kent side; off the pitch the bidding process is in disarray as Harvey Simms and the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust turn up the pressure on Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

Music featured: 'Gravitated' by Edgar Hopp

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall enlist the help of the Ashwood City faithful to try and lift morale and improve the club's dreadful home form. Meanwhile, The Ashwood City Supporters' Trust gains momentum. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Additional Voices:

Jennifer Tierney 

Joel Emery

Rhys Tees

Adam Alexander

Episode written by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The long-awaited tribunal finally sees Kyle Francis-Clarke and The Professional Footballers' Association take on Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of Ashwood City Football Club.

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram QC

Esmonde Cole as KFC

Thomas Mitchells as Judge Philip Gray

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's fantasy football team is suffering following his failure to pick up on insider knowledge from Ashwood City. His resolve is tested further as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh uncovers the legal threat posed by the impending litigation from injured forward Kyle Francis-Clarke.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Esmonde Cole as KFC

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional voices:

Danny Jamieson

Nalan Burgess

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A brawl amongst the playing and coaching staff of Ashwood City and Tottenham Hotspur takes place post-match at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is desperate not only to partake in the Skywalk with Daniel Levy but also to take centre stage in diffusing the tension.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coronavirus has struck down the Ashwood City hierarchy as Patrick Nolan, Jess Tate, Alex Morrison and Chris 'Woody' Woodall are all forced into isolation. As the PFA case of Kyle Francis-Clarke begins, Patrick takes on local small businesses and Harvey Simms... all while battling severe COVID symptoms.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional voices by

Rachel Teate

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A dramatic 1-0 victory over Arsenal at Dartley Park has sparked outrage among the football community as the use of a ballboy - prohibited under COVID-19 protocol - was instrumental in the winning goal. To add to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's woes; Dr. Rachel Webber is taking action against the medical impropriety and mishandling of injured star KFC by Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Additional voices by:

Luke Stevenson

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City are in midweek Premier League action against Manchester United. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan however is at the whim of owners Anaheim Sports Group and is tasked with hosting prospective buyer and potential successor Harvey Simms. With the Sky Sports' cameras awaiting the big game and a glimpse of Harvey; Patrick has a plan...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Ramône Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional voices by

Jonny Blain

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the final day of the January Transfer Window news comes to light that recent signing Kelvin Reid has had intimate relations with the wife of club veteran; Marco Nipic.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Ray Strasser-King as Kelvin Reid

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate require negative COVID-19 test results ahead of Deadline Day at Ashwood City Football Club.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Additional Voices:

Rachel Teate

Thomas Mitchells

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Episode directed by:

Helena Doughty & Paul Waggott

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The new regime under Sven-Göran Eriksson has provided a much needed impetus for Ashwood City Football Club. The turn of fortunes even reflects onto the Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he secures a rare appearance on a dedicated Ashwood supporters' podcast feed.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh 

Sven-Goran Eriksson as Himself

Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea

Additional Voices:

Nalan Burgess

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City Football Club look to complete the signing of Sven-Goran Eriksson as Head Coach.

In Loving Memory of beautiful Lucinda.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Tottenham victory seals Ashwood City's 4-straight league win under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Former player and businessman, now turned Ashwood City agitator; Harvey Simms has enacted shareholder protocol to demand a meeting between Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and the highly regarded Jansen... Meanwhile in Scandinavia; Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall attempts to recruit his successor.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On a fiercely windy day in Kent, Ashwood City host Tottenham Hotspur after a run of 3-straight victories under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. With Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate in attendance; Croatian defender Dario Babic suffers a dangerous injury on the field.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Adam Jarrell

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton has unexpectedly been exposed as the individual behind the Ashwood City email hacks. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan looks to resolve, understand and ultimately exploit his motives. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Nalan Burgess

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The international break has concluded and Premier League action returns. Ashwood City travel to Newcastle United as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is looking to recover from a difficult couple of weeks following his disastrous appearance in Prague...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is under intense pressure as a potential rival has emerged for the much coveted 30% ownership of Ashwood City Football Club. His frustrations and ego are relieved however, with the news of a career achievement recognition from the footballing community.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following an away defeat to Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall finds himself as an unwilling chauffeur to Head of Communications Jess Tate, as they make their way to the Ashwood City Halloween Party.  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City take on Leeds United in the first league meeting between the two since 2004. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has had to make slight adjustments to Dartley Park, in order to welcome the Premier League newcomers. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices

Joel Emery

Lynnette Shaw

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh from the International Break as well as the possibility of 'Project Big Picture', Patrick Nolan embarks on his own project as he attempts to put the final nail in the coffin of the Ashwood City Youth Academy, albeit with a little help from some friends in low places. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional Voices

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following the decision to publish false positive COVID-19 test results for Kieran Broom and Kyle Francis-Clarke ahead of England duty; Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is now dealing with the fallout. Determined to get his fixture pile-up resolved, Patrick reaches out to an old ally of the club in an effort to force the hand of the football powers-that-be.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For matchweek three of the Premier League; Ashwood City take their perfect record to Craven Cottage. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, however, have other social commitments.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following a bright start to the league campaign, Ashwood City now face Portsmouth in the second round of the Carabao Cup. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is charged with the task of securing an ambitious feeder club for Ashwood City. Patrick and Jess however are distracted by the latest new recruit...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh  

Additional Voices

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Premier League football returns as Ashwood City take on Crystal Palace in Matchweek 1 of the new season. With COVID-19 restrictions in place; Dartley Park remains closed to the fans. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan's endeavours to increase matchday revenue for the club lead him to a fan engagement initiative using cardboard cutout selfies to attend the fixture.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

John Brannoch as Colin Walsh  

Rachel Teate as Karen

Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams

Matt Jansen as himself

Additional Voices

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Semi-Final of the Europa League. Ashwood City take on FC Internazionale as the isolated tournament in Germany moves ever-closer to its climax. Once again, however, the mood in the camp is delicately poised to see the loan saga of Christian Akuffo resolved.

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis Clark

Acushla-Tara Cupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo 

David Letemple Leroy as Antoine

Additional voices

Joel Emery

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood's first leg in the round of 16 ended 1-0 to Ashwood in Wolfsburg back in March. Now, along with fellow UEFA Europa League competitors, they find themselves vying for a place in the Quarter Final held in Germany under strict quarantine conditions. 

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-Clarke

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Premier League survival hangs in the balance as Ashwood City take on Manchester United in the final game of the season.  

The Offensive will return at the start of the 2020/2021 season. Thank you for your continued support. Visit ashwoodcity.com and patreon.com/ashwoodcity for more. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison 

Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-Clarke

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Peter Drury as Himself

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Ant McGinley

Owen Maers

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

"Gravitated" by Edgar Hopp

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the final week of the season, and the battle for Premier League survival hits boiling point as Ashwood City travel to Villa Park. Can The Superwhites continue their run of good form under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen in their penultimate game of the season? 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison 

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Additional Voices:

Jo Price

Joel Emery

Lucinda Shaw

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City travel to Goodison Park to take on Everton in one of the final games of the season. Off the pitch, however, things turn sour as Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is forced to vacate his seat, due to the ongoing issues with Rob Jefferson. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur under new Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Meanwhile, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall explore their options for life in The Championship without in-form prospect Kyle Francis-Clarke.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Esmonde Cole as KFC

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The first match of the season in the post-Van Smit era sees fellow Premier League strugglers West Ham United visit Dartley Park. Will the 'New Manager Bounce' materialise and allow Ashwood City to gain three valuable points?

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson

Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Matt Jansen as Himself

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following an away defeat to Brighton and Hove Albion, the Ashwood hierarchy put the wheels into motion to try and turn the club's fortunes around. Negotiations with former coach Dan Watson however, hit a bit of a roadblock in the form of new representation for the fan-favourite. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson 

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell 

Episode written by:

Joel Emery 

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the deal to bring home 'The Prodigal Son' Dan Watson edges closer, Patrick Nolan is A.W.O.L from the club offices. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall leads the chase to find the missing Chief Executive.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams

Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Grace Roberts-Dean

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood take on Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium, with an already irritated Patrick Nolan arranging the travel to the game for his fellow board-members; Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Nalan Burgess

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Premier League has returned, as Ashwood City host Arsenal. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

With thanks to

Jon Champion

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Something is stirring in the night...

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional voices

Lucinda Shaw

Joel Emery

With thanks to

Jon Champion

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a time of unprecedented government support for businesses, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has taken the opportunity to make the most of the tax-payer funded assistance.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Additional voices

Luke Moore

Lynne Shaw

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a nationwide lockdown looms; Patrick, Woody and Jess make a final social outing in attending the birthday party of Arsenal Head Coach Mikel Arteta.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

With thanks to

The Price of Football Podcast

Kevin Day

Kieran Maguire

Guy Kilty

Directed by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Edited by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Football is at a standstill and in an effort to gain some positive online traction; Ashwood City have released a fundraising anthem during Sport Relief mistaking it for Red Nose Day. It's up to Jess Tate to handle the fallout from the controversial song.

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional voices

Lucinda Shaw

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Flying high off the back of a 1-0 win in Wolfsburg in the Europa League Round of 16; the Ashwood City players are taking measures to ensure they avoid being affected by the Coronavirus outbreak.

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber

Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit

Directed by:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the authorities prepare their case against Patrick Nolan, old connections provide an opportunity to hinder the prosecution. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson

Additional voices

Nalan Burgess

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City set their sights on Norwich and all three points as 19th in the Premier League take on 20th at Carrow Road. Woody however has bumped into an old colleague that could turn the fortunes of the club.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City are in Basel, Switzerland for the second leg of their Europa League Round of 32 tie. In addition to already trailing 1-0 on aggregate, the side now have to deal with club captain Kieran Broom walking out on the team prior to kick-off.

Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Additional Voices:

Nalan Burgess

Joel Emery

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Directed by:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

UEFA have been in touch with Ashwood City to confirm the use of Patrick Nolan in the promotional media for their latest campaign. The Chief-Executive however... has a few tweaks. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Directed by:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Europa League returns as Ashwood City face FC Basel at home in the first leg of the Round of 32 tie. Tensions from the previous week have got unresolved as Kieran and Christian's relationship deteriorates further causing Dwight Hayes to step in.

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit

Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom

Esmonde Cole as KFC

Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Directed by:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With yet another Premier League defeat, this time at the hands of Leicester City, Ashwood find themselves in turmoil as on-the-field pressure breeds contempt on the training ground.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Nalan Burgess as Natasha Harley

Additional voices

Thomas Mitchells

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City are without a fixture and in an effort to fully embrace the Premier League winter break, the ownership have taken the team and staff to Florida for an extensive training camp to save their season. Patrick on the other hand is working on his own brand to save not just his season, but his reputation.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Nalan Burgess as Natasha Harley

Additional voices

Vanessa Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With the close of the transfer window, Ashwood City's attention returns to the Premier League and the visit of relegation rivals AFC Bournemouth. Patrick Nolan's attention, however, is focused on how to undo a personal faux pas. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo

Additional Voices:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood City are moments away from getting the Christian Akuffo deal over the line from Napoli. The new signing however has a difficult first demand upon his arrival at the club.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo

Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

Lucinda Shaw as Christine

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Struggling Ashwood City have travelled to Molineux to face Wolverhampton Wanderers. Joining the Ashwood City hierarchy is Anaheim Sports Group's latest addition, Operations Director; Dwight Hayes. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional voices

Jonny Blain

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Casting Director:

Kirsty Gillmore

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.