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075: The Science of Secure Attachment with Bethany Saltman

29 min • 9 november 2022

Many of us worry that our child may not be securely attached. How can we understand the science behind attachment to better understand our kids and their needs? And how do we promote a secure attachment?

Joining me for this conversation is Bethany Saltman, author of Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into the Science of Attachment. It’s inspired by the birth of her daughter in 2006, who she loved dearly, but feared she was failing.

Why? Because she was not the kind of mother she hoped to become. Bethany spent ten years teaching herself the science of attachment, traveling to labs, trainings, and archives, in an effort to try to discover what kind of mother she really was, and if she was good enough for her daughter.

What she learned changed everything about how she thought of herself, her childhood, and the nature of love.

We go into:

[2:25] Different attachment styles and why they’re important
[6:00] Where secure attachment comes from
[13:35] The power of attachment and repair
[14:20] Why people make such a big deal about attachment styles
[24:10] What Bethany learned through healing her insecure attachment style
[27:40] Advice Bethany would give to her younger parent self

Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into the Science of Attachment, published in April, 2020 by Random House, is her first book.

Bethany is a bestselling book coach, helping writers envision and execute their books—from pitch, to platform, to proposal, to publication, to PR. , She is also an editor and researcher. Her work can be seen in magazines like the New Yorker, New York Magazine, Atlantic Monthly, Parents, and many others.

Resources mentioned in this episode

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