3167 - You say that you have not gained anything over time. Realize this is the Yetzer Hara’s setup.

To address your other issue, increase your engagement in Words of Torah and prayers, study Mishnah and the Mamer Vehadarta. The main thing is not to dwell on it and reach out to others so Hashem will help you. https://www.torahrecordings.com/rebbe/igroskodesh/010/004/3167