The Shrieking Shack

Ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for scams! We apologize for our accidentally-prophetic bonus episode last week and discuss the market for 2000s internet nostalgia. Then we've got two action-packed chapters to discuss--well, actually, one is action-packed and the other is steamy. Kind of? It's attempting to be? We're still not sold on this Peeta guy, but there's plenty else interesting going on here. As we get closer and closer to the end of this book, one question lingers on our minds... who will win our game of spot the fake dystopian YA novel?!

The Hunger Games chapters 19 & 20 We saw Asteroid City! We chat a little bit about our latest movie outing (mild? spoilers? Hard movie to spoil!) but not for long--because it's Freak Day, the fateful day when everyone went crazy and started biting each other. Or something? Maybe we should be reading that book instead, because the third act of this one is starting a little... slow. Katniss is flustered by Peeta, who she's seemingly decided is Good Now, which we're having a hard time buying--but on the bright side, this chapter had some really gory field dressing scenes that kind of rocked! P.S Sorry my audio is a little overcompressed still! I thought I'd corrected things, but my settings still aren't quite right.

The Hunger Games chapters 14-18 (concluding act II) We've got Mario on the mind! Specifically Mario RPG, the game with the fakest sounding name ever that we have a lot of fond memories of. This leads us through a whole tangent about retro gaming setups, but we can't talk about that for long--we've got a lot of book to talk about! This week we finish out the second act of the novel, which sees Katniss getting her first kill(s), teaming up with Rue, and clearing an enemy camp Far Cry style. There's a lot that works (action! thrills! character dynamics!) and a lot that works less (mid-game patch notes! Peeta!) but one thing is for sure: we want Katniss to win now no duos. P.S Apologies for my sort of crunchy audio this week! My perfect angelic cat who has never done anything wrong sat on my audio interface the other day and I only noticed how out of place the settings were after recording, so my mic was picking up a bunch of chair/room noises.

The Hunger Games chapters 12 & 13 We went to the movies! We talk a bit about the new Spider-man movie (no spoilers) and the trailers we saw ahead of it before discussing our action-packed pair of chapters for the week. Katniss is mostly looking for water in these ones, but there are also some dastardly villains chasing her who have been trained from birth for combat (as long as it's not ranged combat or tree climbing). We still find a lot to talk about though--sports channel graphics packages, wrestling personas, reality tv, and more!

The Hunger Games chapters 10 & 11 It's game time! Where we dropping? Well, it turns out that in the Hunger Games arena, everyone drops in the same spot no matter what. Will Katniss score some good loot, or will she get taken out by a guy warping around on a laggy wireless collection? That's right, we're finally in the Hunger Games section of the Hunger Games. We're having a great time too--these chapters went down smooth, and we have a brisk discussion about Peeta's many faces, Katniss's toxic gamer chat, and the gritty realism of someone sprinting while throwing six ka-bars. Finally, we take it to our new third segment for a round of spotting the fake dystopian novel premise!

The Hunger Games chapters 8 & 9 The people have been crying out for more third segment content! But since we're both reading this series fresh, what can we do? This week, we find an answer (in the first segment, natch). We also discuss the final two chapters of the first act of The Hunger Games--it's good! So good, in fact, that we can't stop excitedly wondering aloud what might be in store for our heroes and villains.

The Hunger Games chapters 6 & 7 We're back with another two chapters of Hunger Games! This week's pair are a little plodding, but there's a lot of drama to discuss: Katniss and Peeta "just pretending" to be friends! Evil career fairs! And more badass knife throwing/bow firing moves to show other characters you mean business! We also fall down a rabbit hole reading a blog about fictional foods because I forgot what pesto was. P.S Here's the Purple Melon! http://www.fictionalfood.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/111003-Pale-Purple-Melon.jpg

The Hunger Games Part 1 Chapters 4 and 5 We've made it to the Capitol! But first we've got to talk about something very important: The 7th Saga, a SNES RPG with barely any merch. We've also got our first Hunger Games listicle. Our chapters this week are full of dizzying ups and downs: brutally honest characterization and heartfelt drama alongside ridiculous action movie antics and some puzzling portrayals of a society so depraved it... wears a lot of makeup? Hmm. We chat through our feelings on whether or not the story is portraying cruel opinions a character has or simply espousing them itself, wonder aloud what synthetic fire is, and beg to know what the other costumes in the ceremony were.

The Hunger Games Part One Chapters 2 & 3 We're the tip of the spear! Or maybe just the shaft. It seems the whole world decided to reread this series around the same time we did, so we discuss a little bit of what we're seeing out and about in the world and how it's shaping our expectations. We also chat about a recent TV show announcement... that's right, the Twilight one! After that, we've got two cool chapters to discuss. Neither of us have read this series before, so this time we're organizing our thoughts in real time as we ponder character voice vs. author voice, how we think the government works, what the allegories at play might be, and whether or not there are mutant dogs engaging in open warfare with mutant birds just outside the walls of Panem.

The Hunger Games Act 1 Chapter 1 It's time for a bit of a refresh! New book, new cover art, new... oops, I forgot to choose a new theme song. Well, we'll deal with that later--right now we've got Hungry Games to discuss! This week starts with an introduction to The Seam, The Meadow, The Forest, The Square, The Reaping, The Hob... and probably several other proper nouns I'm forgetting. We discuss the author's inspiration for the series, the wide dartboard of worldbuilding ideas this first chapter provides, and the surprising political awareness of the main characters. We also take a look at the US Bureau of Labor Statistics website (this will make sense!) and look up adult coloring books on Amazon for no real reason.

It's been a while since we did a proper news segment, isn't it? We have grievances to air with the coming and going of that game's release, a certain author's doings and new media projects, and the shambling undead franchise we are finally free of. We miiight also have a teeny tiny bit of schadenfreude to spare for some gamers whose wildest dreams weren't met by a mid AAA open world game. But that's not the main event here... That's right, we watched Maximum Ride! A movie with a flying montage so nice they play it twice. We turn in a traditional longer-than-the-film episode, which is impressive considering the movie isn't even 90 minutes long and only covers the first half of the novel. How on earth did it manage that? Tune in and find out! Get in the cage, rarrrgh! (Content notes: naturally, we haven't played the game and have no plans or desire to engage with it beyond , but if you're not in the mood to hear even haters chat about it, skip the first 15 minutes. The Maximum Ride movie also prestige-ified a scene to give it some assault implications--It's nothing graphic, but when you hear us start talking about super hearing, skip ahead 5 minutes if you wanna skip the scene.)

The Da Vinci Code, pt. 2 We're back to wrap up our discussion of Dan Brown's novel and we brought cards! We explore the Da Vinci Code Top Trumps deck to refresh our memories on some of the facts of the story before we walk through some of the Facts of the novel, and end up falling down a rabbit hole trying to piece together the game's design through context clues. Come for our delight at the weird card game, stay for my bad explanation of Catharism--Either way, you'll never hear the number 3 the same way again! (I really gotta draw some new episode art! I'll get on that when I can)

The Da Vinci Code... part one! That's right--we called an audible mid-episode this week because there's just too much to fit into even a big two-and-a-half-hour episode! In a fitting development for discussing a novel all about dualism, we're devoting an episode each to the two halves of the story: The airport thriller novel this episode, and the spurious alternate religious history on the next.  On this installment, we talk about 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕤 and ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤, as well as our histories with the book and Dan Brown's Langdon series. We've got a lot to cover--from Eyes Wide Shut rituals to anagrams, and everything in between. We try to solve the mystery of what, exactly, this book is trying to say about religion... or if it's even trying to say anything at all; we also try to puzzle out what exactly Aringarosa's plan was and what Teabing's plan was!  Next week we'll be discussing 𝔽𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕤--namely, everything the book claims is a fact and how utterly wrong it gets pretty much everything it claims is true: art analysis, portrayal of various cultures and religions, geography, and even basic history. If you think we missed something big or important about the lore this week, it's probably comin' up in part 2! We'll also have a top secret fun activity that I can't wait to record... (Note: the audio is a little crunchy this week. My apologies!)

Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment Liz has pulled the greatest coup in Shriekcast history! This week we discuss Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment, the first (sort of) book in James Patterson's hard swerve into books for kids in the wake of the Harry Potter phenomenon. So much happens in this novel, and I can scarcely keep track of it all--you're just going to have to listen to it. That might partially be because I'm already forgetting key details. I do remember that there are mutants, werewolves, shotguns, guys getting kicked so hard they die, and teddy bears. We've also got a new reader questions section in the third segment! And a soundboard. I did set up a soundboard while we were taking a break.

Twilight (the movie) I have a confession to make: I've been listening to the soundtrack all week. Now that we've finished reading Twilight and Midnight Sun, it's time to talk about the crown jewel of the franchise: the movie! This film launched several acting careers and catapulted the series into unimaginable popularity, and is also responsible for an unbelievable amount of songs tailor-made for breakup playlists, AIM away statuses, and AMVs. So, how does it hold up? We were very pleasantly surprised. Join us for a traditional longer-than-the-movie episode where we walk through its myriad plot improvements, hilarious acting fumbles, and banger needle-drops. And of course... Why movie look like that? [Correction: Kristen Stewart was nowhere near as unknown as Pattinson when Twilight started! I've seen Panic Room, even!]

Twilight/Midnight Sun epilogues (which are really chapters) We did it! We made it all the way through the first Twilight novel and its companion, and we have over two hours of discussion about what a weird ending it all has. First, though, we touch briefly on the (developing; I'm sure we'll be back on this soon) story about Jo inserting herself into a library's Twitter controversy. Then it's onward to chatting about 2004 dance hits, vampire krumping, fantasy football, and much more!

Twilight chapter 'An Impasse'/Midnight Sun chapters 'Chores', 'Three Conversations', 'Inevitability' We've got a mystery on our hands! We open this week's episode with a discussion of the theory circulating on book blogs that a newly released novel--teased as being written under a pseudonym by a "New York Times bestselling author"--might be an undercover Meyer novel. After that, we have a lot of chapters to get through. Technically, the end of the books, since the next chapters are epilogues? But not really, those look like they're just real chapters. Anyway, these chapters are a real roller-coaster ride, and feature some of the most striking differences and additions in Midnight Sun for better and worse. We've got reverse heist movie antics, bizarre deep lore reveals, and Bella entering her most toxic era yet!

Twilight chapter 'The Angel'/Midnight Sun chapter 'Blood' Our chapters were very, very short this week, and we got a little rowdy. We chat about current events (respectfully), character birthdays that happen to fall on unfortunate dates (respectfully), Edward's horny blood drinking (respectfully), and much more!

Twilight chapters 'Phone Call' and 'Hide-and-Seek'/Midnight Sun chapter 'Race' On this week's episode we've got an exciting follow-up to last episode's amazing K-pop-related discovery, but first we have to catch up with the thousand page monstrosity that's been analyzed in more detail since last week. Then we have some really fun--dare we say, good?!--chapters of Twilight and Midnight Sun to discuss. We're in the home stretch, and things are finally happening: evil guys on the phone! Daring escape plans! Hot-wiring cars and doing sick stunts! There's high-octane action all of a sudden in this story, and we discuss what works, what doesn't, and what makes a good genre crossover tick.

Twilight chapter 'Impatience'/Midnight Sun chapter 'Ambush' We've got big news this week--literally, as early reviews have revealed that Jo's new book clocks in at over one thousand pages (Twilight talk starts at 30 mins in if you fancy skipping this). We've also got two wildly different chapters to discuss: one that is moody, plaintive, and mysterious, and one that might well be the funniest Midnight Sun change yet. Inexplicable action sequences, possible retcons, and the least observant vampire ever are just a handful of the highlights this week. Oh, and you're going to want to stick through to the very end of this episode to catch a late-breaking news bulletin that knocks us out of our chairs. Trust me.

Twilight/Midnight Sun chapter 'Goodbyes' The classic Song of Throne and Games button gets a workout this week as we discuss dudes' heads exploding on the new one of those shows, along with the rumor that a Wizarding World HBO show is in the works (again). We've also got quite a chapter to discuss: one with a brisk, thrilling pace that falls apart the instant we prod at any of its ridiculous setup. We've got dudes running, more Tracker Lore, and spy base shutter doors (???) and much more to get through on this week's Shrieking Shack!

Twilight/Midnight Sun chapters 'The Hunt' We ease into our new evening schedule with a check-in on the Peacock Box before discussing a truly electrifying chapter of our vampire romance novel(s). 75% of the way through the book, conflict is here! ...In the form of some French guys we've never heard of. How will Edward mind-read his way out of this one, and can he earn any boyfriend points along the way? Plus, while there wasn't time for a third segment this week, don't you worry: we take a spontaneous and extended detour in our chapter discussion this week that has massive third segment energy.

Twilight/Midnight Sun chapter 'The Game' The Money Fandom is out of control this week and we check in with the aftermath of the latest round of WB/Discovery news and lament how close we might have come to Fantastic Beasts meeting a dark fate. Then we have a packed chapter to discuss: Billy is making veiled threats! Bella isn't understanding them! Edward is running really fast next to the freeway! And of course, the long awaited baseball game--which, it turns out, is a lot different than the infamous movie clip. It features way more oversharing from Esmee, that's for sure. Finally, we attempt to take a vampire boyfriend quiz, but are forced to improvise mid-way through when the website craps out. cw for child death and self harm this week; no serious details (in fact the discussion is mostly about how out of the blue the scene is) but if you're not in the mood for that skip ~1:24:00 (when we start talking about Esmee at baseball) to 1:30:00!

Twilight/Midnight Sun chapter: Carlisle It's another no news week so far for us (knock on wood) so we spend our time at the anchor's desk goofing off and talking about private planes, Star Trek: Voyager, pricing errors, and movie lengths. Our chapters this week were incredibly short (Twilight's was 10 pages!) and maybe the most pointless content in both Twilight and Midnight Sun so far, but we have a good time dissecting what little there is to this gripping story about a guy who won't stop telling his new girlfriend how cool his dad is. Then, in the third segment, we consult several of the most popular online quizzes to determine something very important: what kind of vampire are we? (mild content warning--we don't dwell on any specifics for too long, but Edward has another Sickos monologue this week and it's just as CSI/Law and Order SVU as last time. If you don't want to bother with this, skip ahead 15 minutes or so after Liz gives her content warning to bypass the whole discussion) Twilight/Midnight Sun chapter: Carlisle It's another no news week so far for us (knock on wood) so we spend our time at the anchor's desk goofing off and talking about private planes, Star Trek: Voyager, pricing errors, and movie lengths. Our chapters this week were incredibly short (Twilight's was 10 pages!) and maybe the most pointless content in both Twilight and Midnight Sun so far, but we have a good time dissecting what little there is to this gripping story about a guy who won't stop telling his new girlfriend how cool his dad is. Then, in the third segment, we consult several of the most popular online quizzes to determine something very important: what kind of vampire are we? (mild content warning--we don't dwell on any specifics for too long, but Edward has another Sickos monologue this week and it's just as CSI/Law and Order SVU as last time. If you don't want to bother with this, skip ahead 15 minutes or so after Liz gives her content warning to bypass the whole discussion)

Bella visits the Vampire Family. After a recent run of Shriekcast After Dark recordings, we record a little earlier to beat the heat! We chat about morning television and blockbuster adventure movies based on YA movies before moving on to discuss our chapters. Edward has decided it's time to introduce Bella to his family, but how will she react to his giant windows and chessboards?

Twilight chapter 14/Midnight Sun chapter 18 We convene a Late Recording to deliver a rowdy episode about a rowdy pair of chapters! Bella has invited Edward into her house, but what's going to happen when there's only one bed!? It turns out that they won't, naturally, but things will get incredibly weird, between Edward admitting that he has been watching Bella sleep and Charlie entering a game of Spy vs. Spy with Bella to make sure she's not sneaking out to see anyone. We discuss Edward's music taste, how the sleep-watching reveal goes down in Twilight vs. the Midnight Sun version we've been dealing with so far, the strange high-wire act between romantic tension and abstinence fantasy, and much more. These books are so weird. (We touch ever so briefly on the JK/Walsh news that broke right after the last episode dropped and we declared no news for the week, but if you don't want the rundown on that skip to 8:30 to get to Maximum Ride)

Twilight chapter 13/Midnight Sun chapter 17 We've had a week (knock on wood) with precious little Potter or Twilight news, so we start this week's episode with another Maximum Ride check-in as a sort of Common-Room-Lite treat! Then we're off to the meadow to discuss Confessions, which is perhaps the origin of a huge amount of the popular criticism of Twilight from the mid 2000s. This chapter is equal parts boring, baffling, and overwrought--and the Midnight Sun revisit only adds to the confusion! Luckily, we have a lot of fun discussing the Edward ripping a tree in half and running laps around Bella, an excruciatingly long and pretty offensive addiction metaphor, and some infamously clunky lines of dialogue. (funny editor's note: the "no news bit" was literally recorded a day before some news happened)

It's a big one this week! After catching up with some updates on last week's news stories and checking in with Maximum Ride, we have four (!!!) chapters of Twilight and Midnight Sun combined to get to. Not much is happening, but there's a lot going on, not least of which is Edward's wardrobe. We've got so much Twilight content, in fact, that we have to take a little detour for our third segment and discover What Will Happen To Us In The Siren's Den--and more!

Twilight chapter 11/Midnight Sun chapters 12-13 Here we are! Safe from the heat with a late night recording, we cover the surprisingly ample amount of news from the past week and dig through a combined three (!) chapters of Vampire Content! This week, Edward and Bella have long, deep conversations about soda, Linkin Park, and much much more--all while watching movies in class and dodging shuttlecocks. We've also got our first cut content of the book to explore this week, which leads us to one of the most amazing website discoveries we've made in a hot minute.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore Well, here we are. After actual years of filming delays, author controversies, and a theatrical release we didn't feel like spending money on, we've finally watched the third and hopefully final entry in the Fantastic Beasts series. Thankfully, for as predictably awful as it is, it's awful in some very unpredictable ways--and per tradition, we have an episode here for you longer than the movie itself. We discuss its bonkers ideology (weirder than the last movie, somehow!), its cute animal body count (shockingly high!) and so much more.

Twilight chapter 11/Midnight Sun chapter 12 Well, well, well! The money fandom is in shambles as two franchises race to the bottom of the box office. This week's chapters are the closest together these two books have been yet, so we have a fun time analyzing both characters' contributions to a very, very long conversation they have with each other about who loves the other more. Which one of these lovers is more persecuted? Edward and Bella are both petty, passive-aggressive, and myopic--they're honestly kind of perfect for each other. After that, we head on over to Goodreads to browse the "Twilight rip-off" section. Are the accusations fair? Do any of them sound good? Did celebs write any of them!?

Twilight chapter 10/Midnight Sun chapter 11 (Theory) Well, the new Fantastic Beasts movie is on HBO Max now, so I guess we have to watch it... soon. This week, however, we have a strange pairing of Twilight chapters set almost entirely in a car going 80-100mph. We chat about Bella's confession, how enigmatic Edward truly is (and how Midnight Sun fiddles with that perception), vampire murder morality, driving physics, and so much more! Then, in our third segment, we discover that despite being much smaller than Harry Potter, Twilight was not free from head-scratching op-ed pieces relating it to whatever was in the news that week (in this case: calling the 2012 election!). Will you be prepared when Kraalnor, the Soultaker, comes for you? (mild content warning: similar to last week, this book's fairly tasteless handling of assault is on the docket this episode)

Twilight & Midnight Sun joint chapter (Port Angeles) Well, well, well! Harry Potter is back in the news thanks to a maddeningly vague line in a Wall Street Journal profile of the new Warner/Discovery media boss. Since we can't glean anything of substance from that, we dig a little deeper by examining a recently published poll comparing the franchise to other current blockbuster tent-poles. Can data save us, or are we getting five thirty-eighted? After that, we have a rip-roaring pair of chapters to discuss full of drama, suspense, hacky tropes, and mushroom ravioli. Is it getting good? Well... it's certainly getting interesting! Finally, we wrap up with a delightful interview from one of Twilight's unlikeliest stars and an incredibly cursed op-ed from 2008! (Very mild content warning here; this chapter deploys the age-old heroine-gets-rescued-from-lecherous-goons-just-in-time-before-you-know-what scene; it's very dopey but if you'd still rather not hear us hash out the details and whatnot skip 10 minutes ahead when we start talking about Bella walking into the industrial district)

Twilight chapter 8/Midnight Sun chapter 9. This week features Bella storming off to her room to listen to Linkin Park (really!), getting so mad at Mansfield Park she slams her book shut, and Edward using vampire telepathy to read peoples' horny thoughts--and that's the easy stuff. There's also a pair of new evil vampires that Edward is worried might attack Bella, but not that worried? Oh, and we learn, through a throwaway line, that there are Vampire Wars. All this and more on a jam-packed Shrieking Shack... I'm starting to worry that Edward might not make up his boyfriend points anytime soon.

Twilight chapter 6/Midnight Sun chapter 7 We're back with another pair of split chapters this week! Bella is off to the beach with her school friends and learns some disturbing facts about the Cullens; Edward, meanwhile, is at home with his weird family composing tunes and hunting mountain lions. We've got lots to discuss, and it's a real range: from prose and chess rules all the way to racism and cultural imperialism, and much more in between. Oh, and of course, we tally up Edward's boyfriend points. Has he improved, or is he still fouling as if the refs aren't watching? Finally, we poke around ancient Pottermore lore to compare Twilight vampires to HP vampires--and end with truly one of the most diabolical quizzes we've ever taken!

Twilight chapter 5/Midnight Sun chapter 5 We're back! After a week's break, it's time to check back in with the money fandom again, now that the new Fantastic Beasts has been in theaters for nearly a month. More importantly, we've got a new pair of Twilight/Midnight Sun chapters to discuss! This week we see some of the most recognizable moments and traits of the series on display; for better and for much, much worse. Edward is finally starting to behave the way all the memes, jokes, and critics in 2005 pointed out--does it hold up? Were their assessments fair? We chat about the ins and outs of romance tropes, book marketing, and the odd intersection of pop culture and cultural critique that Twilight generated. Slapping a pretty broad but firm content warning on this one!! This chapter sees Edward becoming the domineering, possessive leading man he's (in)famous for being. The book is obviously very corny and we keep the discussion light and fun, but there's no getting around the fact that, all discussion about presentation, context, and romantic fantasy aside, the behavior we're discussing is pretty upsetting.

We check in once more with the money fandom to see how Fantastic Beast's U.S. box offices numbers look before diving into a triple (!) helping of vampire drama. This week, Bella is free from the hospital and already back to gruffly monologuing about everything that bothers her--and this week, it's boys; both boys who aren't Edward, but perhaps Edward most of all. We've got tons of school drama, vampire council meetings, outrageous displays of vampire superspeed, and a truly shocking last minute revelation from Liz's side of the reading that turns everything about Twilight upside down. How will Edward's Boyfriend Points stack up this week? (minor note: the third segment this week is a very funny article comparing Twilight to the new Batman movie, so naturally there's spoilers for that in case you've been waiting to catch that on streaming which I guess came out this week??)

Twilight Chapter 3/Midnight Sun Chapter 3 The money fandom is dying! We tally up Fantastic Beast 3's international box office numbers. How is it faring in the Season of Morbius? Speaking of vampires, we have some juicy character stuff to explore this week. How long will Edward's roguish charms and gatekeep-gaslight-girlboss vampire secret hiding routine stay charming, and how long can Bella successfully navigate being world-weary and wizened without tipping too far in that direction? We also have a lot of thrilling action--from Edward's Superman powers to deep dives into the lore of Meyer's vampires (and their houses that they apparently do CRIMES in). Some housekeeping notes: new podcast art is coming! I will get it out ASAP but I have been very busy recently. Also, there's a strange sound on the recording that sounds like something wobbling that I tried my absolute best to get rid of but couldn't completely remove--if you hear a faint oscillating sound, that's what that is!

Twilight Chapter 2; Midnight Sun Chapter 2 After a brief check-in with the advent calendar of bad PR events marring the countdown to the new Fantastic Beasts film release, we head back to Forks WA to hear more of Bella's adventures! This week... well, not much actually happens, but there's a lot to talk about! Meanwhile, Edward is in Alaska whipping his car around corners and ordering exclusive burgers. We dig into some of the romantic weirdness and the unfortunate side effects of attempting to de-himbofy Edward in Midnight Sun, and grapple with some of the popular criticisms of the time as they appear in Twilight.

This week's episode is a fun surprise. :)

It's a big news week for the Shriekcast! We've got a loooong discussion of the State of Play gameplay reveal for HP Skyrim (or, from the looks of things, HP Fable) this week to make up for the fact that we are now free agents when it comes to reading! We have a lot to discuss, from our gut reactions to the game in a vacuum and the precarious, exhausting position it has forced itself into as a AAA game based on... well, you know. We mostly keep it fun, but there's no getting around discussing JKR's behavior and beliefs, the game's alarming presentation of things like the uhhhh goblins?? So be prepared for a more serious episode in spots. Is it stupidity? Is it malice? Does it really matter either way? As I'm sure you all know, nope, not really. In the second half, however, we log back into our reddit account and sow the seeds of some mischief, so that we may return to them next recording to see what happens. Hey, sort of like a mechanic they showed off in that game demo... (Oh also! Fun note: my "prediction" that there will be a quote unquote inclusive character creator is apparently real, according to a Bloomberg report from a year ago, so I might've been channeling that)

Cursed Child stage play. We're in the big apple, baby! We took a plane/time machine into the past to see a performance of the Cursed Child in New York with the original London cast. We... had a surprising time! We dig into all of our detailed thoughts: what met our expectations, what surprised us, and what let us down. This 8th story has been a real roller coaster for us, and you might be surprised on where we end up on this one! What main character did we find ourselves hugely disappointed in? Did the effects and production dazzle us as much as the reviews said they would? Did Imogen Heap's jukebox musical score delight us as much as the Voldemort Day video did? Find out all this and more on this week's Shrieking Shack! NOTE: This is the wackiest of warnings to give but I edited a car horn honking into the intro--so if you happen to drive while you listen to this show be aware that yes, that honk came from the podcast!! We're taking a week off to plan our next moves, but we'll be back week after next with some Sloper Content and more!

Cursed Child reading wrap-up episode! With our reading complete, we take some time to discuss our overall thoughts on the play before we embark on our Very Real journey to See It In Real Life! What worked? What didn't? What did other reviewers think at the time? We check in with a mix of coverage from our rogue's gallery, and then another article illuminating some of our questions about who worked on what during the writing process. This also leads us to, in real-time, stumble into a discovery that drives us mad. (Also, if you don't want the end of The Good Place spoiled for you, we riff on that for about 3-4 minutes when it comes up at about the 45 minute mark if you want to skip ahead!)

Cursed Child act IV! This act was a bit faster-paced than the rest, so we ended up covering it all in one long go. The boys are back in time and there seems to be no other special time turners... what could possibly get our heroes out of this jam?! The answer might surprise you. We've got Blanket Plans, Smoke Rings, Demiguise Lore (!), Voldemort Styles, and much, much, MUCH more in this extra long finale episode covering the 8th Harry Potter story! Will we end up liking the play as a whole, or has the final act of this gargantuan stage production turned us into haters? Next week we'll be doing a post mortem on the play itself, as well as some fun third segment stuff!

Act 3 part two! The second half of the act 3 roller coaster is aimed directly at our asses. We have a Cool Villain Reveal, flying, a comedy Cedric performance (that's the guess, at least) and a whole host of other moments so over the top it's hard not to be delighted. We discuss how strange this all feels coming off of Deathly Hallows, how different Thorne's work feels from JKR's, and how the fandom might have came to despise something so full of the kind of fan service you might expect people to hail as a victory lap. Then we continue our descent into linguistic nightmares (play one act two part one of two etc etc) with a listicle from one of our favorite websites...

Cursed Child Part Two Part One (Act 3) Wowza! This act is A Lot, but we are not immune to its charms. In the world of Evil Hogwarts, only the campiest survive... and even then some of them don't! We chat about the refreshing return to the tongue-in-cheek lower stakes presentation of the early novels that this play provides, as well as the few odd moments where it fumbles by reminding us that the series became Very Serious. We also have a blazing fast Evil Draco redemption arc, a Snape vs Umbridge title fight, and something called the Blood Ball... which we can only hope gets more time in the play itself. Finally, Liz takes us through an incredibly funny article from one of our favorite websites that is still Extremely Mad about this play all these years later.

Cursed Child Part One Act Two Part Two...? The final segment of the first part of the play--really, the first play--has some rocky moments, but it ends in such an incredible fashion it more than makes up for it. It's quite a roller coaster either way--a weird ghost, a lot of Bagman, and a fight scene written just for the Drarryheads in the audience. Plus: A third segment so unbelievably radioactive it even makes ME mad. Me! The person who chose it!! (side note: my audio is really hot this week so apologies for the crunchy quality in spots. I got a new audio interface recently and hadn't properly dialed things in before recording!)

Cursed Child Part One Act Two Part One (I think I got that right...) We're back with more play talk! This week at the theatre, we read a segment of the stage show that has some high highs and low lows. The weird Dark Dursleys scene? Low. Seeing Ludo Bagman again? High. The play's treatment of Padma? Very low. The mere concept of something called "Voldemort Day?" High. All this and much more; plus, a third segment so (appropriately) cursed it could only be topped by what I found for next episode's third segment... (content warning, if you'd rather not hear the discussion about the show's strangely dark take on book 1's Privet Drive stuff, skip from 29 mins in to 38 mins in)

Part two of part one of act one... the next bit of the play. The first play. Of the two plays that make up the one play, The Cursed Child. We very nearly didn't finish this one thanks to some nasty Audacity file corruption, but thanks to some heroics you get to hear this nearly-lost episode! We discuss the second chunk of our first reading, which includes the Trolley Witch scene, lots of Boring Adults standing around and talking about newspapers, and further developments in the time-travel sex mystery. After that, we travel back in time ourselves to read the comments on the subreddit that were being posted as leaks and reactions from the initial play previews were hitting the web. There's a mix of understandable disappointment from people who bought the marketing hook line and sinker, outright histrionics, and one theory about Voldemort and Draco's time situation that shakes us to our cores...

Cursed Child Part One Act One (first half of) We're finally here! The play that has loomed over us for the entire run of the podcast is finally in our hands. After years of hearing about the Trolley Witch and reading complaints about Mary Sues... it's time for Cursed Child! We went very long on this episode, so I've split it into two almost 2 hour episodes. This week we tackle the first quarter or so of the first play (this is technically two plays!), the first half of Act One. There's plenty to discuss here: the history of the play, how much involvement JKR had versus her collaborators, and the unrealistic expectations the publishers and JKR may have set for the fanbase that doomed this play before it ever had a chance... and that's before we get to the play itself, which involves time travel wife theft and bad parenting galore!

This is an audio-only version of this holiday season gaming video for anyone who wants Shriek content but can't watch for whatever reason! Maybe you're at work or somethin'. Enjoy! It's time to play the legendary game... the awful Deathly Hallows third-person shooter. Remember when PC ports were a total crapshoot? This is from that dark age, so it's capped at 30fps and has strange audio desync issues in cutscenes--but it IS playable! Well, in the functional sense. If you're wondering "how bad can a third person shooter possibly be?" well... well.

NOTE: This is an audio-only version of a let's play! It's not really a podcast; however, on the off chance you want to hear us chat over a game but don't have access to video right now, this is for you! For the second part of our December extravaganza, we take a look at one of the more well-liked pieces of HP series nostalgia: the tie-in Lego-branded video game! Some of the puzzles for children definitely went over our wizened heads. There's also a bit so bad (like, content-wise, not difficulty-wise) I cut it altogether. Turns out this franchise always had transphobic elements; who knew!? Anyway, esports gameplay this is not, but what we lack in efficiency we make up for with chats about college drinking habits, trashy manga/anime we consumed as teens, bad teachers, and much much more! A note: we'll talk about it in the episode itself, but this was actually recorded in two sessions a week apart because my internet went out for two days in the middle of our first attempt! If you're wondering why we suddenly restart a gameplay section halfway through, that's why. What's next, you might ask? Well, I'll give you a hint: it has a cover system...

This is an audio only version! There's a video version available as well, just in case you missed it. GRINCH VIBES TONIGHT! We're experimenting with occasional video content, and what better way to kick things off than a blind run through our favorite (airquotes) clothing company's Christmas lookbook? Discover the secrets of the Christmas Wizard, hot dog buns, and the perfect holiday heist plan... Plus, Liz has also discovered an exciting new content mine, one that will reveal what Witcher character she really is (according to the company, anyway). What else do we have in store? Tune in next week to find out... ALSO: I can't believe I'm typing this, but out of an abundance of caution I am putting a content warning for the blackmilk christmas lookbook section for their weird... I'm going to be charitable and say miscommunication between the copy and photo team that results in a weirdly incestuous vibe! You can skip to 30 mins to go past the lookbook and into the quizzes segment.

We make our glorious return to shake off the cobwebs, chat about scams involving beloved 2000s brands, and lay out some predictions for the third Fantastic Beasts movie that is still happening, somehow. SUPPOSEDLY the real answers are out there... we wouldn't know, though. We're talking about Fantastic Beasts a lot here which means I should give a general content warning for that movie which, if you've forgotten, involves a surprising amount of sexual violence for a Harry Potter movie, as well as general tastelessness.

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 film. The time has come! Before our well-earned pre-Cursed Child break, we watched the final Harry Potter film, and we have so many questions. What worked? What didn't? What was changed? Why is Molly standing everywhere? Why did Voldemort bust when Ron and Hermione destroyed the cup of Ravenclaw? And did this mf really say ponsieve? All this and more in this feature-length episode--including our official Movie Rankings discussion to match last week's book list! Also, a huge thanks to crocoshift on twitter for the incredible Cameo from Tom. holy shit

Deathly Hallows epilogue. We did it! We've crossed the finish line. While we still have the movie and more to cover, we're officially finished with the 7 books proper. Does the epilogue provide any emotional closure or worthwhile information to round out the rushed final chapter before it, or does it earn its fairly scornful reputation even among die-hard Harry Potter fans? Well, I'll give you a hint: immediately after the book came out JK Rowling started passing new and extra information out like candy in some interviews we read to supplement it. Finally, we do what all great podcasts must do: we rank stuff!

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. This is it. This is the end of Harry Potter proper--sure, we still have to read an epilogue, but this is where the Story Ends! And what an ending it is. For a book this long, it sure sprints to a conclusion, and we're here in this bumper-length episode to do our best to pick up all of the threads it leaves hanging. When did Ron and Hermione stop being characters? Why does Wand Lore matter? Who are the Fallen Fifty? Is that too many or too few dead for a big epic battle? Do the renters of Hogsmeade show up? All this and much, much more, including the exasperating Hogwarts Legacy news. WHOM could have PREDICTED such a tragedy!? (If you don't feel like listening to the news, the chapter discussion begins at 32:00)

Note: this was recorded before the WHOM COULD HAVE FORESEEN news about the game--tune in next week for that one Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We had an extra week to let this chapter sink in, but did it help? We try to parse the Matrix Revolutions chapter where Harry talks to a Dumbledore ghost inside his head who claims that this is all happening in Harry's imagination yet offers him and the audience a bunch of extremely literal answers with new information, and that's not even the weirdest part of this whole thing! We theorize what this could possibly be trying to say, what actually matters in the New Lore, what answers are missing, and whether or not we'd help a flayed monster creature lying on the ground. Finally, we return to the world of Imagines, and compete in an impromptu guessing game.

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We check in with what life is like with a Snape Jersey and dish about the latest Fantastic Beasts production mishaps before getting theological (again)! This week's chapter is a fan favorite, full of emotional moments and inspiring quotes about death that you've probably seen on coffee mugs, forum signatures, and tattoos for over a decade. Does it hold up, though? Not in the slightest, but it is accidentally fascinating and full of conflicting ideas and also there's a bit where Hagrid is tied to a tree for some reason. If you don't have a sugar stomachache after hearing us read saccharine descriptions of Harry's brave march to his death, stick around for the third segment where we take some reddit burning questions and spin a few theories of our own. Are our ideas horror? Comedy? You decide!

Deathly Hallows chapter 33. It's here: the prophesied episode has finally arrived. And since we also have some big news to discuss (as well as some personal conspiracy theories about the TV rumors) this episode is another blockbuster length banger! So, how do we actually feel about Snape's big chapter, after all this time? The answer might surprise you--the chapter certainly surprised us. Does that mean it's good? Oh, no. God no. It's very very bad. But it's not what we were prepared for. Plus: a Snape-related Screenrant victory lap, and an exciting surprise that close the book on one of the podcast's longest-running subplots!

Deathly Hallows chapter 32. The Brand has a new hero! We wonder aloud what, if anything, this changing of the guard could mean--and then suit up to drop into the Battle of Hogwarts for another chapter filled to the brim with war movie tropes. Once the flashbang wears off and the sound comes back, it's off to the titular Shrieking Shack for a big speech from Voldemort, a snake floating around in a bubble shield, and the passing of one beloved professor. Finally, we play a game trying to identify Fantastic Beast quotes from a list of Mugglenet's "most memorable" scenes from the film--some of which are Nothing, and some of which are kinda eyebrow raising!

Deathly Hallows chapter 31. With little actual news (except Gamer Anguish) we spend our news segment taking a Fantastic Beasts quiz that really goes places. Then we're off to our chapter, which, while not as completely off the rails and unique as last week's, is still jam packed with stuff to talk about. And I really do mean jam-packed--this is a LONG chapter, so get ready for lots of discussion about Ron's PUA techniques, Harry's newfound ability to make people fall in love with him for no reason, Voldemort's loudspeaker, Resident Evil Hagrid, and tons more. Finally, we visit Screenrant again to learn the power rankings of every (!) Death Eater.

Deathly Hallows chapter 30. We ring in the new year with, no joke, one of the weirdest chapters in the entire series. A few of you warned us about this one (or else gleefully mentioned that something was coming) but nothing could have prepared us for what awaits here: somehow, a chapter even stranger, funnier, and more out of character than any of the previous chapters we've said similar things about. You're not going to want to miss this one: plus, a crash course in... Sonic lore?

We've made it through 2020! Join us on a look back through some of the best moments of the show from this year. Did current events or Harry Potter contribute more psychic damage to us? Listen to us sing unearthed in-universe Christmas songs, debate the definition of big movies, try to understand how calendars work, and much more to decide for yourself! There were so many good clips to choose from and suggestions to work with it was impossible to cram them all into a tight hour, but here are some of the best of the best: 00:00:00--Ding Dong, Ding Dong 00:01:29--Fate 00:06:24--What are you listening to? 00:08:03--Dumbledore in Congress 00:12:41--On Sight 00:17:25--7/10 00:20:17--Sicko Patrol 00:22:57--3.5 Workouts a Week 00:26:39--Fenrir Gervais 00:29:36--awp.wav 00:30:55--Dust Dumbledore 00:36:0-- I Am the Boy 00:39:57--Snape's Cool Voice 00:44:58--Flying Creatures 00:47:29--Big Movies 00:54:13--Azkaban Internship As always, a huge thank you to all of the listeners out there in Hurtwood House 🦉

Deathly Hallows chapter 29. Just when we thought this book had no surprises left, it hits us with one of the funniest chapters in the series. This one was written for us: it's full of so many things that feel like they were in-jokes written just for us, it's a little spooky. We also learn all about the Incredible Future of the Brand, do a little Christmas candle check-in, and solve a murder most foul!

Deathly Hallows chapter 28. We spend a weird amount of time talking about mouths before catching up on the latest reports from Fantastic Beasts film production world and, for some reason, Good Housekeeping, where JKR deigned to give an interview this week. This episode's chapter is fairly lurid and dark, but we keep it light by chatting about bread, cheese, Dobby, and more! Finally, we visit Wizarding World dot com to take their new Christmas Experience for a spin. Content stuff: JKR is in the news segment again (saying nothing you haven't heard her say before, but still; skip to 34:19 to go right to the chapter discussion. Likewise, the chapter this week is pretty Generally Rough, so I can't really timestamp around anything specific: just know this is the Ariana Dumbledore chapter) Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 27. We're back! And we're calling Mads in to ask hey, c'mon, do you really need to be in a Harry Potter movie? Plus, some questions for the other actors who had a lot to say a few months ago. Then we theorize about what on earth this Frankenstein movie could possibly look like when it finally arrives in 2021 (or is it 2022?), what it could be titled, and who will allowed to be not-straight in it. Our chapter this week is a bit of filler, but we manage to squeeze a lot of discussion out of it since it really highlights a lot of frustrating omissions from this book, and tees up a plot to get things moving with ten chapters left to go. From Spyro dragons to evil house elves, we've got a lot of ideas. Finally, we check in with the Wizarding World's plans for Christmas 2020, and read a very sad listicle about Snape 😢

Deathly Hallows chapter 26. After our double-length news blowout last week, we don't have too much to cover this episode, save for some updated Fantastic Beasts casting rumors and some speculation about the general future of the franchise. Our chapter this week is another heist, during which Harry casts an unforgivable curse like ten times without anyone so much as blinking and a theatrical Death Eater tags along to make things more complicated until JK Rowling decided she couldn't figure out how to utilize him so just had him go hide in a corner. No, I'm not making that up, that's actually what happens. We also witness the EVIL PLANS of Griphook, whose plan to double-cross Harry is worse than Harry's plan to double cross him, for some reason. We also read another shockingly out of touch article from Pottermore that comes this close to realizing what's messed up about the Goblin stuff but misses spectacularly. Finally, we log into Jack Sloper's account and return to the associated subreddits to find a grab bag of cursed and delightful content. Content warning stuff: the whole news section is dedicated to ripping on JKR and Johnny Depp (and Marilyn Manson) and if you don't fancy listening to anything to do with them directly, the chapter discussion starts at 34:47.

Deathly Hallows chapter 25. With both our lives making this week extremely busy, we almost didn't make it together to record this week--but here we are, because the news stops for no one! We discuss all of the massive Fantastic Beasts news that came out right after last week's episode was in the can, from Johnny Depp's exit from the franchise to JK Rowling's absence from easy US election-related content to the release of The Ickabog and more. Then we dive into... maybe the worst chapter in the series? Certainly one of the most galling. Buckle up, because if you thought the goblin stuff in previous books felt uncomfortable those moments have nothing on the absolute pile of antisemitic content rolled up into Griphook's character. Intentional? Probably not, but does it matter? (Incidentally if this doesn't sound fun, skip 1:22:00ish to 1:41:00ish) We also see the return of Theatrical Lupin, and the slow depressing march of every woman in the series to their final form as Molly Weasley. Finally, we speculate about how the third Fantastic Beasts film will handle its actor change!

Deathly Hallows chapter 24. With absolutely nothing going on in the real world, we immerse ourselves in a backlog of Wizarding World news. Last week we watched the midpoint film; this episode, we continue reading the novel, and learn all about Harry's sudden discovery of labor as a political concept and (second? third?) bout of religious mania. Two paths diverge in a wood, and our hero must choose which order to talk to two C-list characters who will dump pages upon pages of very important lore and worldbuilding, as well as highlight some of the more collar-tug worthy instances of Meaningful Storytelling. Would it surprise you to learn that the house elf and goblin stuff in this series is still insanely fucked up? Can the fandom remember that the elves are literally slaves? Please?? Finally, we catch up with our hero, Spartan 117...

Deathly Hallows Part 1 film. As is tradition, we spend longer than the runtime of the actual film walking through and breaking down the first of the two movies based on The Deathly Hallows! Where does it rank compared to the other adaptations? What does it do with the awful source material? Did it really need to be split into two films, and do we believe the producer's claims that it wasn't a money-motivated decision? (no) We also take a little adventure at the end of the episode that you won't want to miss!

Deathly Hallows chapter 23. We receive an update from an anonymous benefactor regarding the Harry Potter pin collecting scene before we check in on an unfortunate Yahoo op ed about whether or not it's okay to play the video g- sorry, whether it's okay to wear a halloween costume. Then we chat about the continuing Fantastic Beasts production drama before diving into a true Clusterfuck Chapter tour de force. That's right, we have the grandaddy of all Hagrid's Hut style chapters here that transcends space, time, and distance, and drops a bunch of new random lore to justify its ticking clock structure. And, of course... we say goodbye to that funny little guy we all love.

Deathly Hallows chapter 22. We investigate the Wizarding World brand's Halloween plans for this year and end up stumbling into some incredible Christmas lore instead before discussing a chapter that finally honors the REAL heroes: podcasters. We also chat about the ever-unraveling state of the story's theology, worldbuilding and politics before taking an accidental deep dive into the world of official Harry Potter pin collecting... in 3D!

Deathly Hallows chapter 21. After checking in with Buzzfeed to see how they're handling Harry Potter clickbait these days, we finally learn all about the Tale of the Three Brothers: a wizarding world story so common, why, everyone knows of it! We also learn about a bunch of aphorisms and other cultural artifacts that surely anyone would recognize, because they've been part of the wizarding world this whole time and definitely not pulled entirely out of the author's ass just now. Finally, we head over to reddit and quora for a grab bag of third segment goodies.

Deathly Hallows chapter 20. We catch up with Eddie Redmayne and the WB Game Studios statements on Rowling before making our way through an absolutely dire chapter where all of our heroes are unrecognizable, even by the shifting standards of book 7. Arguing about what 'rook' means, having youth pastor chats, and holding extremely strong opinions about the role of the press for teenagers--that sounds like the golden trio alright! (?) Then we head on over to the subreddit to learn about more Game Ideas.

Deathly Hallows chapter 19. We chat about JKR's t-shirt and the dogshit TERF-etsy she is boosting, contemplate the impending (perhaps already complete?) merger between radfems and the far right, and wonder if WB will ever actually do anything (they won't, but it's fun to think about). Then we go long on a chapter that feels like a story reaching its climax, but with all of the buildup completely missing--with multiple sexy holograms and a reveal of the Deluminator's function so baffling we once again have to extend our sympathies to the people who thought this book was fake when it leaked once upon a time. Finally, we try to roast a Harry Potter website "for serious readers" but ended up crashing it, so we check in with the Hogwarts Legacy subreddit instead to see how well they're managing their expectations for a licensed video game. content warning: lots of unpleasantness discussing JKR's shirt and the heinous TERF store she is promoting--to skip straight to the book stuff, head to 50:45.

Deathly Hallows chapter 18. We discuss *inhales* the Vancouver billboard funded by hateful people riding a hateful billionaire's coattails, the initial Troubled Blood review that got things kicking off this week, the continued Troubled Blood reviews from The Guardian that revealed how it's actually WORSE than the initial review made it sound, the pile of pre-existing Known Stuff about the Strike series, the misogyny and transmisogyny common in crime fiction generally, the Fantastic Beasts filming news, and... the announcement of Harry Potter Skyrim. On top of all that, we have a completely out of pocket chapter that pushes the already-strained boundaries of our previously well-defined cast of characters to ludicrous levels in an attempt to tell a very (even for this book) ham-handed story about Harry's crisis of faith. Crisis of 'Braith, get it? Never mind. It goes without saying but just in case: content warning for All Of JK Rowling's Business, as well as the related shit of classic fiction like Psycho and Silence of the Lambs and so on. If you want to skip the news segment, the chapter stuff starts at 1:14:15!

Surprise! Here's our mega-length news segment for this week, hot and fresh. Didn't seem fair to make people pay up to hear it early. We discuss *inhales* the Vancouver billboard, the initial Troubled Blood review that got things kicking off this week, the continued Troubled Blood reviews from The Guardian (very helpful, thanks!), the apparent pile of pre-existing Known Stuff about the Strike series, the misogyny and transmisogyny common in crime fiction generally, the Fantastic Beasts filming news, and... the announcement of Harry Potter Skyrim (which is actually continued in our third segment this week, so if you want to hear us talk more about it or think we missed an important topic, hold tight--it's probably in the full episode to be released later) It goes without saying but just in case: content warning for All Of JK Rowling's Business, as well as the related shit of classic fiction like Psycho and Silence of the Lambs and so on.

Deathly Hallows chapter 17. Oh my god, an actually good chapter? It sounds too good to be true, but we had a blast reading this oddly self-contained story that starts as a spooky horror movie and ends with an outrageous and strangely endearing Voldemort sequence. We also learn all about The Butterbeer Bosses, engage with a listicle trying its best to navigate Harry Potter clickbait in a post-mask-off-JKR world, and more! Finally, we visit the Slytherin common room, which proves to be far more blessed than we could have imagined. (mild content warning for the first segment: if a listicle bumbling through elements of the series' transphobia/racism/etc doesn't sound fun to you right now, start at 14:00!)

Deathly Hallows chapter 16. We have a heaping helping of news to catch up on, including some Fantastic Beasts production news that sends us down a rabbit hole of cursed movie plot and casting speculation. Our chapter this week is strange, combining some irritating worldbuilding and plot problems with a surprisingly affecting personal drama that ends up making for an overall better experience than the last few chapters--but nonetheless there's tons to discuss including nonsense plotting, overlapping religious allegories, hilarious statues, and more! Finally, we submit jacksloper's application to the Slytherin common room, and weigh our options between being sincere angels or little demons on the subreddit.

Deathly Hallows chapter 15. On this powerful mega-episode, we immerse ourselves in an Audio Experience, watch the Snyder Cut trailer, check in on JK Rowling's favorite new Epic Win Gentleman twitter guys--and that's all before we get to the chapter! This week's camping adventure sees Ron going Boromir Mode, so naturally we talk about Lord of the Rings for a while as well as more Wizarding religion talk, the logistics of acquiring food in the British wilderness, and the nature of the immortal soul (again). Finally, we put our heads down and complete a homework assignment as intrepid redditor Jack Sloper! Some notes: At 22:45 or so, we chat about JK's twitter business--if you'd rather not hear us discussing transphobic tweets, skip to 28 minutes. Likewise, if you're not particularly interested in hearing the specifics of this chapter's frankly unbelievable antisemitism, skip from 2:05:00 to 2:24:50

Deathly Hallows chapter 14. It's the beginning of the god damn camping sequence, but that's okay: we've got a rowdy news segment and a pepe-silvia conspiracy to weave about the original chapter order of this book to spice things up! Plus, our continued adventures on Reddit as we shore up our karma stocks as we prepare to select a House to apply to. UPDATE! Thank you to listener Brynn who sent in a correction for the Moody eye situation. Harry explicitly grabs the eye out of the door and leaves a hole behind *before* entering the office, not after. We were going nuts trying to find any reference to it as he left the room! P.S i still think the book was meant to be read out of order hee hee

Deathly Hallows chapter 13. We're back from our week off, which was in no way timed to coincide with a certain author's superyacht cruise! We discuss Jo's pilgrimage to the infinite money trousers (maskless, natch) and a few bits and pieces we missed last week before completing the Ministry Heist we left off in the middle of last episode. Hermione performs the Oblivion item duping glitch, Harry smokes A Long, and Ron manages to get through half of Who's On First with his fake wife in the middle of a daring action movie escape. Finally, we continue Jack Sloper's reddit adventures, and earn some nice karma to boot.

Episode 124: KD/A With a break in the news cycle, we take a look at Funko pops and imagine a world where GRRM and JKR swapped places. Then we examine 'Magic is Might', a chapter that turns book 7 into a heist movie all of a sudden, simultaneously becoming the most entertaining and most baffling chapter so far. We even have a conspiracy theory to share about its origins... finally, we don our own heist disguises and begin casing the joint (reddit) in our quest to get into one of the house subreddits!

Deathly Hallows chapter 11. We discuss expensive Zoom calls and the mysteries of faith, and then pick apart our relatively complex feelings on a chapter that has some of the best moments of the book so far, but also some of the worst. Finally, we explore some more old pre-book 7 ending predictions, and discover one so powerful it derails the entire segment. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 10. We predicted TWO things that came true in this week's news segment, which is a spooky way to start a mega-length episode! Cormoran Strike's naming conventions, Muggle posters, spell utility, and, uh, slavery in the Wizarding World are all on the docket this week, along with much much more--including some more classic ending predictions from 2007!

Deathly Hallows chapter 9. We sort through this week's massive pile of news--J.K's garbage tweets, the Harper's letter, the Harry Potter at Home program, and more--before discussing a chapter so bad it threatens to rattle the entire book apart not even a quarter of the way in. Why is there a grenade spell now? Why is Hermione's character now "mom"? Why does Moody think a tongue twister curse would deter Snape, a guy who is canonically one of the best non-verbal spellcasters in the series? How will we, your loyal hosts, recover from having our guts spooked off by Dust Dumbledore? Why isn't Dust Dumbledore the only thing anyone talks about? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 8. We catch up with J.K's latest Twitter drama with Stephen King and discuss the feelings of mutiny apparently brewing among the developers of the still-yet-to-actually-be-announced AAA Harry Potter video game. Then we take a trip to a wedding that's just as excruciatingly boring as a Muggle wedding, only some stuff floats I guess. We talk a lot about the meaning of chairs--trust us, it makes sense. Finally, we take another dip into the delightful pre-release book 7 ending predictions, and imagine a better world where this book was good. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 7. We speculate who could be called in as a celebrity ringer for the troubled Harry Potter At Home audiobook series and tear into a chapter that has it all. PUA books! Convenient plot dreams! Teen drama! Flesh memories!? This chapter isn't good, but it's certainly interesting. Finally, we take another trip in our time machine to 2007 to read some hilarious ending predictions from an old fansite.

Deathly Hallows chapter 6. We do a little bit of catching up with the fallout of last week's Rowling drama, and speculate on the future of Fantastic Beasts and the beleaguered Harry Potter At Home marketing initiative. Then we rip into another chapter of Deathly Hallows, which is definitely not better than the last few, but it certainly isn't boring! Finally, since we wish this book had been a big hoax, we investigate a theory from a week before the book's release that posited that the leak was actually a fake book written and released to... uh... well... hmm. JK's trick! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 5. We go deep on J.K Rowling's despicable blog posts, the responses to her behavior, and the future of Fantastic Beasts and her other ongoing business ventures. If you don't want to hear a very frank discussion about her transphobia (that also includes ableism, sexual assault, and generally awful behavior) skip to 1:15:24. Good news, though! The chapter we read this week also sucks, so we get our licks in on the continuing disaster that is book 7 so far.

Deathly Hallows chapter 4. Literally hours after we finished recording last week's episode, Jo did exactly the thing we had been wondering about in the news segment. This week, we catch up with all that--and if you understandably don't have any interest in hearing the particulars of her shitty behavior, skip ahead to 26:36. Good news if you want to hear a roasting, though! This week's chapter is a total cluster of a chase sequence. We discuss Hedwig's death, the death of meaning in general, the broken promise of the 7 Potters idea, and more, before taking a visit to the confessional for our last segment!

Deathly Hallows chapter 3. We try and run down the list of all the things that Happened this past week with JKR's horrible tweets, art contest, and new children's novel, then discuss our praises and frustrations with a chapter that serves as a sendoff to the Dursleys, the set of characters most damaged by the series' slide from mischievous dark comedy to serious war story. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 2. After checking in with Jo's deeply unpleasant transphobic behavior yet again, we tear into one of the most deathly (get it) boring chapters in the entire series. It consists of, mostly, two newspaper articles. Exciting! However, this leaves us plenty of room to chat about the slow death of symbolism in the series, the continuing clumsy attempts to turn a children's fantasy into a modern political allegory, who Harry thinks his dad is this week, haunted ebooks, and much much more! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 1. We're here! It's time to start our journey through the final book in the Harry Potter series, and we've got plenty to cover already. We finally get a chance to peek inside Voldemort's war room in this spooky chapter that highlights some of the series' best and worst tendencies at once. We chat about ancient poetry, driveways, snakes who are also human women, and whether or not evil plans should take place on Saturday or Sunday. Finally, we turn the time machine back to 2007, just before book 7's release, to see what fans were expecting the last book to contain. Also, for the record: i DO know how to pronounce pious Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

It's movie time! We discuss the sixth film in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. With so many mixed feelings about the book, this was a really interesting one to dig into, with many changes and additions that run the gamut from ridiculous to genius. Also, why does it look like that? We cover as much as we can in this episode that, as is tradition, is longer than the film itself! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-blood Prince chapter 30. Another book down! We fire off a 21 gun salute for Dumbledore and the sixth book in the series, with a lengthy discussion of the funeral scene (which is pretty much the entire chapter) and a deep dive into Pottermore's (RIP) classic Wizarding World Book Club questions. What themes, characters, and facts await us? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapters 28-29. We realized the first chapter we read this week was pretty short and thin, so we blew this episode out into an almost three-hour double decker! We discuss the potential issues with dating werewolves, Snape's tactical error, The Order's tactical errorS, and the cosmology of attractiveness in J.K Rowling's universe. Finally, in preparation for the end of the book, we visit reddit to reminisce about old theories from between books 6 and 7. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 27. Snape kills Dumbledore! We break down this shocking pop culture event, which is 90% a conversation between Draco Malfoy and Dumbledore about how smart Dumbledore is actually. We get some last-minute changes to how magic works, some minor Death Eater characters we've never met before bumbling into arguably the most critical scene in the series, and a truly impressive bhop one tap from one Severus Snape! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 26. We stock up on a double dose of Harry Potter positivity in our news segment this week thanks to some video game news and some genuinely amazing book covers from Thailand before braving the cave. What's in the cave? Nonsense exposition, zero conflict, and a lot of zombies! We can't quite work out what it all means, so we enlist Reddit's help in the final segment to try and figure out: what's this book about, exactly?

Half-blood Prince chapter 25. Our fearless leader is back on Twitter for good, it seems, so we unpack her increasingly weird attempts to cheat the Blade Runner test through normie-posting. We also take a deep dive into Harry Potter at Home, the new initiative to... ??? Plus, of course, we have our chapter for the week, which is simultaneously fleeting and frustrating. Will Harry finally realize Dumbledore is an evil zombie revanchist, or will he cave and join him for a cave quest? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-blood Prince chapter 24. J.K Rowling is back on Twitter and starting to give us bad vibes, but that's okay--we have a really fun chapter to discuss this week full of teen drama, sword spells, and ghosts who live (?) for drama! Finally, we put our honor on the line and take the official Wizarding World Dobby Quiz, and descend into madness trying to figure out how calendars work. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-blood Prince chapter 23. Without much news, we have a looooong runway to discuss what may well be the true turning point for the Harry Potter series: the Horcrux reveal chapter. We chat about narrative structure, theology, and Rowling's boasted story planning, as well as the nature of the soul and the holy nature of the number 7 (you know, light stuff like that). Finally, we continue to attempt to avoid plunging the third segment into darkness with a little MBTI-related silliness from the fandom. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-blood Prince chapter 22. We teach the Harry Potter fandom a harsh lesson about electoral politics and check in on the Harry Potter Skyrim saga before discussing a surprisingly good chapter (well, half of it, anyway) about our once-dreaded foe, Felix Felicis. Then we tumble down the rabbit hole into the world of PlayStation Move games, Pinterest recipes, and Reddit arguments. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 21. We kick off Magical Mischief Month by discussing feasible ways to cyberbully the richest author in the world. We also wrack our brains to try and remember what a "scullery" is. Our chapter this week is a technical mess that nonetheless has a delightful Dobby scene and some primo Snape content. Finally, the arms race to find the most cursed content for the third segment comes to a devastating end. Or does it...? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 20. Lost at sea without much news this week, we are left to contend with The Terror: the knowledge that constant information blowouts on J.K Rowling's new book and the next Fantastic Beasts film--and perhaps something else?--are looming on the horizon. We also have an interesting chapter this week, full of Evil Gentleman content, pensieve strangeness, and (at last) the reunification of our main characters. Finally, we elect the way of pain and read some truly dark content from The New Yorker. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 19. We've got a ton of news this week between the announcement of the Granger 2020 campaign (???) and a truly bonkers game of telephone about a tour guide who claims he's the subject of the next J.K Rowling novel. Or does he?? We try to wrap our heads around this strange series of articles before discussing the first good chapter in a long while. Yes, the drought is over! This book CAN be good! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 18. Wow! We've recorded 100 of these! We chat about this momentous achievement before grappling with the agony and the ecstasy of Harry Potter thanks to a chapter that both delights and frustrates us. There's plenty of interesting worldbuilding tidbits, lots of creepy dark comedy that works really well, and--unfortunately--a debilitating sense that none of it matters and that every interesting detail is a track being laid down in front of a speeding train. Finally, to celebrate our hundredth episode, we return to the confessional for a Valentine's-themed third segment! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 17. Well, here we are: another Pensieve chapter is upon us. Is it better than the last one? Worse, somehow? Tune in to find out, and learn all about zombie theories, congressmen, Rashomon parodies, and Supernatural (?) along the way! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 16. We've got some music-quiz-related business to attend to this episode, as last week's estimation of Harry Potter's (and by extention, Dobby's) taste did NOT satisfy us. First, though, we have a dreaded recap chapter to... well, recap. Surprise! Everyone is being horrible to each other for no reason and the world they inhabit makes less sense with every new detail, but we make the most of a frustratingly fractured chapter that could be fantastic. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 15. After a series of truly dire chapters, we're granted a reprieve with a week's reading that features some pretty low lows, but some relieving highs. We chat about Jude Law's taste in heels, the continuing drama between Ron and Hermione, some truly vile implications for Fred and George's business acumen, some genuinely touching Luna content, and much more. We also manage to blow each others minds a couple of times with our big-brained revelations. Finally, we try to create Dobby in an alt-rock magazine's character quiz. Will we succeed? Tune in to find out! (content warning: if you don't want to hear us discussing Love Potions and their related issues, skip to 46:30 once you're past the news segment) Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 14. We've got a real doozy of a chapter this week. Is it as bad as the last two? Maybe not. Is it weird and unpleasant in its own way? You bet! Ron and Hermione hate each other, Harry and Ron hate each other, Ron hates Dean Thomas, Ron hates Ginny, Ginny hates Ron, Hermione hates Harry, and Harry hates... Harper? Everyone is mad and full of contempt this week, and we do our best to pick apart this particularly venomous chapter of Harry Potter. Finally, we cleanse our souls with a long-overdue visit to the confessional! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 13. Hoooooooooo-wee. We chat about WB's new AI greenlighting tool, the Fantastic Beasts franchise news, and a new low for pensieve chapters before checking in with Yelp and Google reviews for several Harry Potter tourist attractions! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-blood Prince chapter 12. Happy 2020 everyone! Liz kicks the decade off with a harrowing tale of arcane coincidence, and we have one hell of a chapter to dig into. Choke-slams, cruel pranks, property crimes, curvy barmaids, and a mysterious curse awaited us this week. Finally, we check in on the Wizarding World website, just to see if everything is still Normal there. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Another year down! This episode contains some of the highlights of 2019's episodes. A huge thank you to everyone who has listened this year, the show wouldn't be possible without you. Here are the timestamps: 00:00 - Liz's Fawkes Prediction 02:08 - God Hates Hufflepuffs 06:21 - Borange Beer 10:28 - Sibling Violence 11:40 - The Boss 16:06 - Oppa Dobby Style 16:59 - Themes, Characters, and Facts 21:15 - Spy Animals 26:26 - Emma & Helena's Acting Talent 39:54 - Otters 40:51 - Skyrim/Your Feet 42:05 - Dementor Fog 47:15 - You're My Captain Now, Ha Ha/The Prefect's Bathroom 56:07 - Hanukkah, O Hanukkah --- Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 11. Well, we got our wish. The monkey's paw has curled, and JK Rowling has returned to Twitter, but never in our wildest dreams could we have predicted exactly how she did it. Instead of coming back to dance around being a TERF, she just threw the mask off entirely and scorched the earth. This conversation dominates our news segment, but we do at least have an extremely goofy chapter to rip on to balance things out. Finally, to interrupt a deep dive on Dark Middle Chapters, the Harry Potter subreddit swoops in to... save the day!? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Early cut of the news segment for Episode 93 where we talk about, well, The Tweet. Didn't want to make people pay to hear this one in a timely fashion 🦉

Half-Blood Prince chapter 10. We've got GAMER NEWS (match 3) and say a prayer for more GAMER NEWS (open world AAA RPG) before tackling one of the worst chapters in the entire series. Earnestly, it's a truly awful chapter, but we have a lot of fun bagging on it before turning to some Christmas cheer and a long tangent about Halo 3. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 9. After taking a week off, we're back with tarot news and a personality analysis for Dobby! Then we have quite a chapter to get into, featuring a revamped Ernie Macmillen, Secret Agent Jack Sloper, and a hearty serving of Snape Content, as well as some weird potions and portentous smells. Finally, we listen to the newly released A Magical Time of Year, aka the Wizarding World Christmas album. You're not ready, honestly. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 8. We reminisce about Fyre Festival and check in on Wizarding World Gold before banging our heads against Half-Blood Prince's confusingly selective portrayal of a world mad with paranoia but also not all that worried about Voldemort doing anything. Oh, but Snape gets some time in the spotlight this week, and it's incredible. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 7. It's a slow news week after the rush of shocking events last episode, so we take a peek at some heartwarming (really!) Mugglenet content and chat about the newly-released Wizarding World Gold. Then we dissect Half-Blood Prince's first true stumble of a chapter, which features some absolute nonsense character depictions, a kinda uncomfortable character introduction, and Harry doing a bad ass front flip for no reason. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 6. We get extremely rowdy this week! We have Fantastic Beasts drama, Emma Watson and Tom Felton news, and a chapter that is earnestly one of the most unbelievable experiences we've had reading this series. Be prepared for a lot of toilet discussion (not our fault) as well as a denouement of a third segment that will shake you to your core. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 5. We scope out the Magic Awakens situation, chat about the Wizarding World Gold journal, and play some piano before diving into an extremely dense chapter of family drama at the Burrow. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 4. We have some news cleanup to attend to after Wizarding World Gold ate up the whole segment last week, as well as some exciting advances in the field of A.I to reveal. Then we chat about Professor Slughorn, zombies, and the continued nu-Dumbledore that is puzzling us so much. Finally, we take a trip to fanfiction.net to explore some exciting crossover content. Half-Blood Prince chapter 4. We have some news cleanup to attend to after Wizarding World Gold ate up the whole segment last week, as well as some exciting advances in the field of A.I to reveal. Then we chat about Professor Slughorn, zombies, and the continued nu-Dumbledore that is puzzling us so much. Finally, we take a trip to fanfiction.net to explore some exciting crossover content. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapter 3. Wizarding World Gold (not to be confused with Wizard World Gold, which is what I did googling this story) is finally here, and it's more or less the same product the leak warned us it would be! We spend a while breaking down what the hell this service is exactly before discussing chapter 3 of HBP, which is both fascinating and frustrating. Who is this new version of Dumbledore? Has the sprint towards the series' end begun in full force? Is the Kreacher storyline a scathing indictment of capitalist exploitation, or is it a parable about how owning slaves is okay as long as you're nice to them? What the hell is misty fug?? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Half-Blood Prince chapters 1&2. We're here! Order of the Phoenix is in the rearview, and it's time to start a new, almost equally long journey through book six. We read two chapters this week, with no sign of Harry but plenty of political intrigue, animal murder, monologuing, and the absolute worst piece of Whizarding Whorld Lhore we've encountered so far in the entire series! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

After some brief news (farewell, Pottermore...) we have two tickets to the Order of the Phoenix movie, which is... hmm. Hmm! We discuss this messy flick in an episode longer than the film itself. Liz sings a Papa Roach song, Xeecee has some Theories... you gotta love showbiz! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 38. Another book comes to a close, and Liz has a shocking secret to reveal, as well as an epic promise to make. We have some Fantastic Beasts non-news, but most of this episode is dedicated to the final chapter of the book and our thoughts and feelings on the novel as a whole, including Pottermore's book club questions! Content warning for continued discussion of the Umbridge/Centaur situation 32:00-37:00. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 37. We're nearly done with this gigantic tome, and Dumbledore has many, many words for us about the themes of the series, whether or not house elf slavery is okay if the elf is mean, how dumb and sorry he is, and many, many other things. We also talk about socks and the INTJ stare! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 36. We chronicle JK Rowling's exciting return to Twitter to... advertise a logo update? And speculate on just where on earth the whole Harry Potter franchise kind of is right now. After that, we take a look at another action packed chapter and discuss how strange it is to read what feels like a screenplay that got inserted into the end of a novel. Finally, we visit a Reddit Classic and condemn Ginny Weasley to forever prison. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 35. We've got a big pile of news to sort through (finally!) before getting to this week's chapter. It's basically one big action sequence, so sit back and relax while we spitball about how weird that is for a whole episode! Then we wrap up with an investigation into the Biden fanfic writer discussed last week's other works. It's... grim. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapters 33 and 34. We learn all about the... uh... Joe Biden fandom? Before discussing two chapters this week. The first one is very bad, folks! --just wanna throw in a content warning here: fairly graphic discussion of whether or not there is implied sexual assault in this chapter. It's fairly important to the overall critique, but if that's something you'd rather not hear, skipping minutes 38-42 will keep you out of the worst of it.-- The second chapter is... better? We chat about Point Break, Master Chief, Harry as Grizzled Dad, and lots of other fun stuff. Finally, we take a tour through JK Rowling's old website, circa 2005! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 32. Tom news! Get your Tom news! As well as an exciting new app! We love apps here. We didn't love this chapter though, or at least not all of it. Find out all about Garrotting Gas, ironic bows, and Hermione's sudden transformation into The Joker, and then stick around for a reading of an impassioned defense of JK Rowling from the haters. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 31. JK Rowling has been discovered alive and well in a pub where her husband's band was performing. Incidentally, did you know that Fat Cops band we talked about a long time ago was her husband's band!? We mull over this revelation as well as a few other Jo-related headlines. After that, it's time for... a mostly really good chapter? With, perhaps, some caveats. Finally, we dig into the BlackMilk Hogwarts collection, but quickly get distracted by how completely insane all of their ad copy is. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 30. Is Hagrid a Death Eater? No. Moving on, we discuss the greatest Harry Potter subreddit post of all time, the most pointless chapter of Harry Potter of all time (so far, anyway...) and the best new community discovery we have to offer. I hope you can remember all the names of these important characters, like Montague and Edgecomb! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 29. Happy birthday, Harry/J.K Rowling/Liz! We chat about Emma Watson's birthday gift to Jo, classroom dreams, class rings, and a fairly muddled chapter about how bullies are bad, except when they're actually very good. Then we get a little career advice of our own from the Harry Potter wiki. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 28. It's time for Snape's Worst Memory; is it the Book's Worst Chapter? Or do the previous two chapters maintain that dubious honor? We discuss that as well as useless side characters, crappy action figures, and the etymology of "titbit" Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Order of the Phoenix chapter 27. Did we say last week's chapter was the worst in the series? Well. Well!!!! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 26. Hermione is a little worm who deserves to be crushed according to... Hermione? So we take some time to unpack that and maybe the most bizarre (and unfortunately, worst) chapter in this book so far. Then we take a leap into a new subreddit discovery and learn all about wand lore.... Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 25. We've got a certain house elf's birthday to celebrate and TV show rumors to discuss! We also have an absolutely massive chapter to go over, featuring Voldemort playing Starcraft and Harry going on a date he blows very badly. Finally, we wrap up with a visit to the time machine to read some pre-Order of the Phoenix blog speculation from 2002. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 24. The hallowed episode number is here....the funny number. It just so happens that we have a Snape chapter this week, so we get to talk about our favorite professor (besides Lockhart) and an all-around surprisingly excellent segment of the book! We also talk about a bunch of rude and crude things but we probably didn't need the episode 69 excuse for that. Finally, we wrap up with some powerful horny reddit lore. (Just so folks know the third segment is fairly heavy on some graphic stuff that includes some gentle mocking of peoples' horny reactions to a torture scene in one of the later films) Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 23. Wizards Unite surprise released this morning, so we spend some time chatting about our thoughts on the game as well as Christmas on the Closed Ward, a very strange chapter that brings in a ton of characters to guide Harry through an angst crisis. After that, we read an interview between Katie Couric and JK Rowling from 2003 that features both of them at their meanest. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 22. It's a roller coaster of an episode this week as we discuss the opening of the new Hagrid ride at Universal, the mysterious appearance of Dobby in someone's driveway, and an honestly absolutely crazy chapter of OOTP. Are paintings alive? How does a snake perform espionage? How does a phoenix perform stealth operations? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 21. We take a trip in the time machine back to 2005 to read an article trying to explain how Harry Potter invented shipping and learn all about thestrals this week. We also celebrate Draco Malfoy's birthday! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 20. We had a short chapter and no news this week, so we watched Magic Beyond Words: The JK Rowling Story, a horrible Lifetime film about our favorite treehouse enthusiast. Then we sit down with Hagrid to hear his tale, which is apparently one of the least popular chapters in this book?

Order of the Phoenix chapter 19. It's our 64th episode, which naturally means we need to talk about Quest 64, video game soundtracks, Imogen Heap, Harry Potter sales numbers, and a... pretty okay chapter? We discuss Hermione inventing text messaging and Harry wondering if only bad guys have meetings. Then we commune with Bustle for one of our most lit third segments ever (there are some GoT spoilers if you care) Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 18. We have a HUGE news segment this week, detailing this past week's roller coaster of Pottermore changes. After that, we enter the Room of Requirement chapter with widened and deepened hearts and minds. Finally, we light a candle for the maybe-doomed Pottermore with a celebratory article reading. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 17. It's a celebrity gossip blowout! We've got Met Gala looks, possible JK Rowling sightings, and some Fantastic Beasts casting news. Also... our reading this week was shockingly good? Maybe there's a plot and themes in this book after all! (Note: there might be a few construction noises here and there. I did my best to get rid of all the ones I could, but some were happening in the middle of speech)\ Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 16. No more Fantastic Beasts movies! Not until 2021, anyway. We discuss the big delay, and theorize what exactly they might be doing with their extra time, and a special guest calls in to help us with a long-standing tradition on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Then we chat about OOTP chapter 16, and its increasingly strained portrayal of a wizard world in serious political turmoil. Finally, we check in with Pottermore's strange marketing materials and the one and only Harry Potter subreddit. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 15. The Shriekcast takes on Osama!!!!!!! We got him!!!!! We cover shoes, skrewts, and Rambo speeches in this inquisition of Order of the Phoenix's chapter about an inquisition. Then we leap into a time machine all the way back to 2004 to read a truly cursed article about Harry Potter's connection to Bush/Blair-era politics. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 14. We have the unpleasant matter of Crimes of Grindelwald news to attend to this week before we dig into chapter 14, The One That's Pretty Good Except It's Very Weirdly Racist Suddenly. There's also quidditch, homework, and Cornelius Fudge's child army paranoia. Finally, we help plan a party and tackle a few confessions. Also... you're gonna want to stick around for the very end of the episode, trust me on this one. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapter 13. We cover some important news about Dobby's grave, and also his dick and balls before strapping in for a long discussion on chapter 13, which is extremely long and meandering. Good thing we swapped to doing one chapter per episode! Harry's a jerk, Ron's a cop, and Umbridge shows her true colors (and then some) in this honestly fairly harrowing chapter. Luckily, we have a lovely song and some Pottermore coverage of our favorite owl to cheer us up! Content warning for some heavy themes in this one, it's The Abuse Chapter Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapters 11-12. We're finally at Hogwarts, and the Sorting Hat has a very long song about how the school is completely devoid of responsibility for all of the world's ills! We also have Ron being a little cop, Harry being a rude jerk, Hermione representing at least three schools of political thought at once, and the appearance of a new professor we all HATE because she wears PINK. Ew!!! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapters 9-10. We uncover a shocking conspiracy before examining Sirius's dog brain. We're still not at Hogwarts but that's okay: we have more Ministry drama, sibling violence, secret missions, and character introductions to get to before we dig around for some Luna Lovegood confessions and questions. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapters 7-8. We touch on the recent explosion of J.K Rowling dunks hitting the mainstream before visiting the Ministry of Magic! Email, cop hierarchies, courtroom drama, Death Note, and more await us in those hallowed halls. Finally, we brush up on our WOMBAT test and try to figure out--again--what the hell Magical Mischief Month might be. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapters 5-6. We have an extra long news segment this week because uhhhh there's a new Harry Potter video game and it's the dumbest idea anyone has ever had! We thoroughly analyze this announcement before digging into our chapter discussion for the week, which features a giant lore dump and a lot of J.K Rowling's favorite family tree bullshit. We also meet Kreacher, and answer reddit's burning questions about him. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapters 3-4. After wishing some cops well, J.K Rowling is once again missing from the internet. Luckily, we still have plenty to cover, thanks to International Women's Day and some cursed Fantastic Beasts-related news. In our reading, we're introduced to the real Moody as well as Tonks, and Harry goes sicko mode on his friends for no reason. Oh, and there's more Imagines fics... Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Order of the Phoenix chapters 1-2. Season 5 is here! And J.K Rowling is back on Twitter (sort of) just in time. We cover her glorious comeback, the WB CEO's public dragging of Crimes of Grindelwald, and chat about Groverhaus before finally getting started on the fifth Harry Potter book. Which... starts off really good?? We're as shocked as you are. Finally, we take a dive into the world of celebrity friendships as Liz is transported to a world where she meets Emma Watson. It's a very enlightening experience for everyone. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire postmortem. Instead of a Common Room episode this week, we decided to do two regular episodes, because there was just too much news to ignore. Plus, we still have so many thoughts about Goblet of Fire, a book that intrigued, baffled, and frustrated us to no end. We also have the extended cut of Crimes of Grindelwald to attend to. Liz also makes a prediction about Fawkes that will shake you to your core. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire movie. We've made it to the fourth film in the series. Where does it stack up against the previous films? Does it really matter if Dumbledore yells all weird? Would DJ Khaled be a good act to book for the Yule Ball? Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 35-37. We solved it! It's over! We've finally finished reading Goblet of Fire, and we're here to dissect and discuss the aftermath of this book's dizzying final descent. We've got reveals, monologues, confusing schemes, bizarre character behavior, and so much more to go over, and that's before we get to the official Pottermore book club prompts! It's a truly massive undertaking, so get settled in. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 32-34. It's been three weeks and JK Rowling is still missing! Luckily we still have plenty of news to sift through, including more Fantastic Beasts production speculation and some good old Bustle content. Our reading this week is a triple scoop of Voldemort content. He's risen again! And has a lot to say. So much to say. He is saying a lot of stuff, constantly, for a very long time. Finally, we exorcise some fandom demons with another round of the confession booth. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapter 31. JK Rowling is STILL missing, and presumed norted. We discuss some insider Fantastic Beasts scoops, before moving onto our reading: the interminable, baffling Third Task. Finally, we hash out what exactly is and isn't canon when it comes to the Legilimens thanks to a truly bonkers Pottermore article. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 29-30. Where in the world is JK Rowling? We discuss her strange absence from the internet, and reach into the big ol' Bustle grab-bag to deal with the lack of Harry Potter news. Our reading this week is a double helping of dream sequences that do nothing but dumb exposition on us, so we spend a long time yelling about that. Finally, with JK missing from Twitter, we pick up the slack to answer Reddit's burning questions about the Pensieve. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapter 28. We've got news! You folks heard about the news? We've got Blu-Ray news and Pokemon news; after that, we have perhaps the most overstuffed chapter in the series so far to discuss. After that, we take a trip to Cameo to check out what Harry Potter stars we can find! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapter 27. JK Rowling decided to just have a full on twitter meltdown right as we were about to record this week, so we spend a lot of time talking about her bizarre takes on income inequality. This casts kind of a long shadow over our reading, but we manage wring a lot of discussion out of this one very strange catch-up chapter. Finally, we celebrate Snape's birthday with a Liz-led lecture on his strange place in the fandom. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 25-26. We're back! After a long holiday break we dust out the cobwebs and discuss classic literature, bitcoin, commemorative 9/11 coins, and mermaids! The reading this episode was surprisingly great honestly. This book is pretty good when there's a plot. Finally, we ring in the new year by making some resolutions. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapter 24. Rita Skeeter's Scoop is here, but before that we have some scoops of our own: chiefly, more deets from the case of JK Rowling's rogue personal assistant. Our reading this week is pretty good, but definitely exists in the shadow of the not so great chapters that came before it. It's pretty packed for a single chapter! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 22-23. We have seen Dobby's ass, and balls. We also want to know whether or not Dobby has a beard, but that's sort of secondary to his ass and balls. Speaking of ass, these chapters are kind of a bummer! Ron is redpilled and Harry does nothing, but we squeeze some enjoyment out of the fringe teen drama and a few good character moments. After that, we get festive with some Tumblr/Reddit Yule Ball content. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapter 21. The House Elf Liberation Front chapter is here, but before we can unpack it we have to mourn a high-profile death and dig into some JK Rowling Twitter drama. Also, Grimble Film? Not what you'd expect. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 19-20. We're back! After taking a break for the holiday, we have lots to say about box office numbers, Bustle, and Artemis Fowl. Our reading this week has dragons (good) and Harry being kind of a jackass (not so good) and a steampunk egg. Finally, we kick off the Christmas season with some Pottermore dinner planning.

We took a break from our main reading episode for the holiday this week, but there was just enough time after recording a bonus episode to cut together our first clip show. Hear us progress from awkward podcast newbies to seasoned Potter critics! Marvel at the gradual increase in sound quality! Share these bits with your friends and spread the word about Hurtwood House and baby Dobby. I also want to extend a huge thank you to all of our listeners and patrons. I don't think either of us imagined we'd be where we are with this show in such a short time. The support means the world to us and we can't wait to trek through the rest of the Harry Potter series and beyond for you. Keep spreading the word and help grow the Dobby Memorial Fund to buy him the lavish mausoleum he deserves! If this is your first time listening, you can find our bonus content at patreon.com/shriekcast and follow us on twitter at @shriekcast. Our email is [email protected] if you have any burning questions. EPISODE TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:27 - "I'm not sure if I should say 'slutty.'" 00:03:21 - Albus Dumbledorf 00:07:58 - The Forbidden Forest 00:11:54 - Toilet Basilisk 00:17:36 - Badass Kreacher 00:19:04 - Character Heights 00:44:52 - Fawkes Can Carry Heavy Loads 00:49:56 - Too Many Peas 00:54:23 - The Wad Spell 00:57:26 - Hit Wizards 01:12:41 - Butterbeer is Cream Soda 01:15:08 - Sauce Wands 01:18:31 - French Accent 01:20:02 - I'm Glad Augustus Died 01:26:26 - Don't Film at the Anne Frank House 01:30:08 - Weehoo

Goblet of Fire chapter 18. Content warning for transphobia discussion, because this chapter has a part that sucks big time!! The Crimes of Grindelwald (listen to the episode!) looms over us, but we still dutifully discuss our reading for the week. There's some... good? Character stuff? Sort of? And a lot of bad stuff too. Harry Potter is truly a land of contrasts.

Well, we saw it. We did our waiting and saw the damn movie on opening night, and it sure was an experience. How many beasts were there, and just how fantastic were they? What were Grindelwald's crimes? Why couldn't this movie just be two hours of Newt hanging out with that adorable Zuwou? HEADS UP: throwing a content warning here for some fairly heavy discussions of sexual violence, including in relation to slavery, which is a weirdly huge part of this Harry Potter movie!

We watched the first Fantastic Beasts film (and read the original book) in preparation for the Crimes of Grindlewald nightmare coming down the pipe.

We go beyond trailer reactions to predict specific details from the Fantastic Beasts sequel--and the rest of the series. Is Dumbledore gay? Just how bad is Grindelwald? What the hell will Queenie do? Why are they making these movies? Why?

Goblet of Fire chapters 16-17. We recount the tale of a folk hero who bilked JK Rowling out of Starbucks money before digging into our chapters. There's a surprising amount of harpy discourse, a little dash of slavery apologia from Hagrid, and some genuinely good character drama mixed in as well. (thank god) Then we answer reddit's burning questions, and take a peek at some of the Crimes of Grindelwald reviews as they come hot off the presses! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 14-15. This episode has it all: box office predictions! Williams-Sonoma catalogs! Ruminations on the politics of violence in fiction! Funny voices! Theories about cut characters! Serious discussions about the morality of the series' portrayal of slavery! More funny voices! Also BDSM? Yes, it's kind of a ride this week, but Goblet of Fire is a lot.

Goblet of Fire chapters 12-13. The last episode of Dark Arts Month 2018 is here, and we have Halloween costumes to discuss! But before that we have the news (cursed) and our reading (surprisingly, much less cursed? Mostly?) to attend to. We have a Triwizard Tournament to introduce, a slavery subplot to tug our collars over, and French accents to botch! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 9-11. We've got news! We discuss the frankly bonkers Johnny Depp interview from last week's EW and talk about snake percentages. After that, we discuss politics and worldbuilding and Ministry-appointed wank sessions before delving into the real Halloween business: Harry Potter Wattpad stories. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 7-8. Halloween is here! JK has been on one again, so we catch up with her Twitter antics. We also check in with Hogwarts Logic(s), Professor Snape_, and the rest of the Harry Potter Content rogue's gallery. After we check out some truly cursed Etsy glassware, we finally move on to our reading, which is... hmm. Hmm! There's some stuff this week. We defend the honor of harpies and leprechauns, discuss magical death squads, and pick at the increasingly weird worldbuilding. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 5-6. For the second week in a row, we're here to pick up a Pulitzer for our investigative reporting! This time it's for our role in predicting and uncovering (well, mostly just watching) the leak of a new Harry Potter video game. We have LOTS to discuss about our hopes (and fears) about the game, but first we have reading to attend to. Good news: this week's chapters are much less sociopathic than the previous ones. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 3-5. Well, here we are. We tackle the Nagini news head on in our third segment, but before that we have general Fantastic Beasts trailer impressions and three chapters to discuss. Join us and learn all about wizard well drinks, sauce wands, and xeecee's geography skills! Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Goblet of Fire chapters 1-2. Season 4 is here! The dreaded Frank Chapter looms, but before we get there we have to deal with Pottermore and a mischievous fellow named Robert Galbraith. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Prisoner of Azkaban movie. We did it! Our final Prisoner of Azkaban episode is here. We watched the movie and spoiler alert: we kinda love it? We discuss the ins and outs of the film, the perils of adaptation, fandom reactions, and much much more. Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! https://www.patreon.com/shriekcast/ Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast Send your questions to [email protected]

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 19-22. Our third reading adventure is over. After fifty Quidditch games and ten chapters of faffing around in the titular Shrieking Shack, we discuss the end of Prisoner of Azkaban in fine detail: including dog brains, House Elf Dementors, the ethics of taking a life, and fate vs. free will. That sounds like a joke, but it's not! Listen now and find out if the third Harry Potter book stuck the landing or takes a dive. (incidentally, Harry's really good at those)

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 17-18. We uncover Pottermore's "revelations" about Fantastic Beasts. Then we get into the very exciting scenes that take place in the Shrieking Shack itself, which are way more farcical than we were expecting. To commemorate this occasion, Liz's fanfiction chops are put to the test with the ultimate Marauder fic quiz.

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 15-16. Liz conjures up the dark spirit of an ancient basic cable TV drama before we discuss Prisoner of Azkaban's tenth Quidditch match. Just like Harry, this book's specialty seems to be dives--does the rest of this reading pull up in time, or are we headed towards a crash of Norbert Chapter proportions?

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 13-14. Knives out!! We've been enjoying this book so much we hadn't quite realized how hungry we were, and this chapter about how cool the Firebolt is just dumped a ton of blood into the water. We discuss the Firebolt's superb handling, pinpoint precision, and whatever the hell else it has along with Leakycon updates and our own American broom marketing plans!

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 11-12. We hit up Bustle for some headlines and Pottermore for some marketing material before discussing the most drama-filled chapters of this book yet. Hermione took away Harry's Xbox! The flobberworms are dead! Crookshanks is scheming! We cover all this and more before taking a trip overseas to learn all about Chinese Harry Potter fan fiction and bootlegs.

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 9-10. Happy birthday, Harry Potter! And a happy birthday to you too, JK Rowling--we hope you got a third treehouse or whatever. After we finish wishing our heroes a happy birthday, we travel to a very rainy Hogwarts to discuss the Marauder's Map, pub waitresses, reddit, and who would win in a fight between Sirius Black and John Wick.

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 7-8. Comic-con happened, so naturally we have to pick over the remains of WB's nightmarish press conference (and the Fantastic Beasts trailer). Xeecee did a little bit of field reporting at a Target "event" and has the misspelled Hogwarts acceptance letter to prove it. Then, our reading for the week is a roller coaster of melodrama, Quidditch rules, and wad-blowing!

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 5-6. We investigate the "new" JK Rowling interview content "discovered" this week before getting into our reading--which we really liked! Still, there's plenty to go over in detail, from train stoppages to knight paintings to JK's strangely cruel supplemental writing about her own characters. Finally, we top it all off with some of your confessions!

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 3-4. The guy whose name rhymes with Bhonny Bepp is back in the news and WB has a movie to promote, so you know what that means: it's time for us to predict what brand of non-reaction the Harry Potter brand will have. Then we're off to the Knight Bus, where things are considerably better! We loved our reading so much this week, Liz had to come up with an extra cursed final segment: the confession booth.

Prisoner of Azkaban chapters 1-2. It's season 3! And what better way to start a new book than going through a new Rowling tweetstorm. We're both excited and cautious about starting a new book - will Harry have a character this time? Will Dumbledore tell him any more bird facts? Only time will tell, but for now we'll make do with bonkers articles about Harry Potter from 1999.

Chamber of Secrets film & video games. We watched all three hours of the movie to let you know: Lockhart is still the best thing in this story! We discuss Hagrid's pickup scenes, 2002's CGI creature rankings, tiny swords, and way too many peas.

Chamber of Secrets chapters 17-18. We've done it! Our second book comes to a close, but we have lots to discuss, including: anagrams, phoenixes, and Harry's continued cluelessness until the bitter end. After our own plot discussion, we visit Pottermore's officially selected Book Club questions in an attempt to figure out what the hell is in the water there. Support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 15-16. It's nearly over, but our suffering isn't quite through yet. Harry meets a giant spider in a pointless chapter and then "solves" the mystery that Hermione worked so hard to investigate, and Ginny walked in on Percy cranking it or something. It's all a mess, but fear not: the Shrieking Shack is here to fix Hogwarts by designing an all-new house to replace Slytherin! Slurp??

Chamber of Secrets chapters 13-14. It's been a slow news week for Potter, so what better time to belt out some show tunes? We explore the wide and extremely cursed world of Harry Potter song parodies, talk about the cultural significance of This Is War, and explore songfics, which are like fanfics but perhaps even more potent. Then some crap happened in the actual book I guess. Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 11-12. Harry finally does something and it's... whining that he's not racist! There's so much to cover in these chapters, but mostly we scream about Dumbledore's bird advice and Draco's intense suckitude. After that: Liz has said Pottermore is her favorite website, but is she a real fan!? Like the show? Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 9-10. Dim the house lights and settle in for a hearty discussion of JKR's royal wedding antics and Hogwarts Mystery's royal screwup. Speaking of mysteries at Hogwarts, that whole Chamber of Secrets thing sure is getting weird, huh? We hope Harry like, does something, at some point. Like, anything. Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 7-8. This week we talk about our dream houses and a Hogwarts for horses before discussing our reading. Quidditch is explained to us AGAIN, Ron is woke, and Harry is living in a Deus Ex game. Is this the end of CoS positivity? Has the basilisk finally turned? Support us on Patreon for early and bonus content! patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 5-6. We have a mystery guest this week... and we still love Lockhart, but there's much more to discuss: flying cars, Hermione's role as a character, mean teachers, and graphology! Oh, and character heights. A lot of really, really specific stuff about character heights. Support us on Patreon for bonus content! patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 3-4. We take a moment of silence to remember the fictional characters lost 20 years ago in a battle that didn't actually happen before discussing two chapters we actually really liked! Don't worry though, after all the positive feelings are out of the way we put on our thinking caps to design the "ultimate" Harry Potter video game. Support us on Patreon for early (and bonus!) content! https://www.patreon.com/shriekcast

Chamber of Secrets chapters 1 & 2. We've arrived! But before we indulge in our favorite house-elf, we have some housekeeping to do - namely, chatting about Hogwarts Mystery and the US premiere of Cursed Child. After we walk through the opening of the second book, we tackle our toughest assignment yet: answering random questions about Dobby from Reddit.

Sorcerer's Stone film & video games. We read the first Harry Potter book, so naturally we had to see the movie! Play the video games! Buy the toys! Visit the theme park! (Not yet, but one day.) We examine the rogue's gallery of Sorcerer's Stone themed video games from 2001, then we discuss the film which is... fine? It's fine. It's completely fine. The director, however... he has some things to say, and so does Katie Couric in this time capsule episode. This week's theme music is a jazzy old version of Wild About Harry. Please rate us on iTunes if you're enjoying the show!

Sorcerer's Stone chapters 16-17. One book down, six to go! And eight movies, and another series of movies, and some side books, and video games... okay, there's a lot left. Still, we finished Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and we have this extra long episode to prove it! Before we reminisce on the the final chapters and the book as a whole, though, we talk about Harry Potter: A History of Magic, a new documentary with a twist that shook us to our cores.

Sorcerer's Stone chapters 14-15. We mourn the loss of Pottermore's greatest thinkers before diving into some surprisingly disappointing chapters. There's a baby dragon and centaurs! How could JK screw that up!? After venting about the reading, we take a look at the internet's bonkers Harry Potter DIY scene.

Sorcerer's Stone Chapters 11-13. It's slime time! Liz and xeecee talk about weird toy commercials and lovable Youtube reviews before diving into some, you guessed it, politics. Albus Dumbledorf. As for the book itself, nobody is much of a Quidditch fan but there's plenty nice to say about The Mirror of Erised and what a touching chapter it is. Albus Dumbledorf. Even with an extra chapter, there's still time to learn everything about Professor McGonagall's weird backstory! Albus Dumbledorf. Albus Dumbledorf. Albus Dumbledorf.

Liz and xeecee take their own advice and read another book.

Sorcerer's Stone Chapters 9-10. This week Liz and Xeecee have practically nothing but good things to say about their reading, so to balance things out they discuss not one but TWO awful documentaries about J.K Rowling. (Harry Potter & Me and JK Rowling: A Year in the Life) Find out everything you never wanted to know about her stance on Wicca (she's not a fan) Minecraft (HUGE fan) and what her pal Stephen Fry has to say about "other fantasy" (it's for the feeble-minded) in this jam-packed episode!

Sorcerer's Stone Chapters 7-8. It's time for the Sorting Ceremony! But before that, Liz and Xeecee celebrate the release of the political prisoner ItsHarryPotter and get into the nitty-gritty discourse of the new Crimes of Grindlewald trailer, including the moral quandaries of whether or not to even see it.

Sorcerer's Stone Chapters 5 - 6. Liz & Xeecee pay respect to the powerful side characters of Harry Potter - like Bill's questionably aged girlfriend and the shapeshifter who dies off-screen - before diving into the extremely expository chapters left before Harry Potter reaches Hogwarts. Goblin discourse awaits!

Sorcerer's Stone Chapters 1 - 4. On the inaugural episode of The Shrieking Shack, Liz and Xeecee read the first four chapters of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and discuss legally questionable Halloween costumes, Dudley Dursley's gaming habits, and getting sent to the closet for letting the snake out.