Though related, self-acceptance is not the same as self-esteem. Whereas self-esteem refers specifically to how valuable, or worthwhile, we see ourselves, self-acceptance alludes to a far more global affirmation of self. When we're self-accepting, we're able to embrace all facets of ourselves—not just the positive, more "esteem-able" parts.
As such, self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification. We can recognize our weaknesses or limitations, but this awareness in no way interferes with our ability to fully accept ourselves.
To become more self-accepting, we must start by telling ourselves that given all of our negatively biased self-referencing beliefs, we've done the best we possibly could with the resources we have at the time.
1. Are we accepting of ourselves? What don’t we accept about ourselves?
What do I accept about myself?
How can I amplify this?
What it is that I don't accept about myself?
How can I work through this?
2. Let Go of Guilt
Focusing on the ‘I should do this’ or ‘I should have done that’ sets you up for being self-critical. When you "should" on yourself, you are judging yourself. When you judge yourself, you are limiting all of your potential to grow and think openly.
We can't change the past, but we can learn from it and use those experiences as tools for change. Instead of getting caught up in the "should,” we are going to think of ways that you can learn to adjust your way of thinking.
Think less of the ‘should’ and more of the incredible opportunities you have had and will have in the future.
So maybe the guilt of an unconscious knowledge that you are not living the life of your parents. Or your grandparents. Or any other person that had a significant role in shaping your childhood. It’s OK. You are not them.
Say to yourself, “I am doing the best I can with the resources I have right now”
3. Forgive Yourself
I want you to see, from today all your “mistakes” as a learning experience that holds the key to moving forward faster and more consistently in the future.
What VALUBLE lessons have you learnt from your mistakes?
What strengths have you developed from those mistakes?
What are three positive learnings you can take from those mistakes?
4. Make peace with your self
Whatever that peace looks like to you:
I want you to make sure you are escaping for a while, becoming really comfortable with sitting and being with yourself. Accepting yourself as YOU, right here, right now. Flaws and all.
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