1. Get super comfortable with your decisions.
The first thing I did to move through this was to get really confident with my decision making. Instead of jumping straight in and saying yes, due to a fear of upsetting people, I ask myself - “ Ok Bec, is this going to make you grow or make you low”. Your intuition knows these answers, she is a pretty powerful source that isn’t tapped into half enough! You will hear her first, before the ego kicks in, before the fear kicks in - she will softly whisper and it’s best to follow.
I don’t think I could count on my hand the amount of decisions I’ve made when I DIDN’T listen to my gut; only ten minutes later I came to say - gosh why didn’t I listen to myself.
2. Be transparent!
This was A BIG ONE for me! As a people pleaser you always want to protect everyone else before yourself right, but by sweeping things under the rug (my pile became pretty big), you make the situation worse for all concerned. When we become transparent with people, there is clarity and honesty. What I do now is to announce this when I am saying no.
“ Hey, ____, I am being really transparent with you here, I am going to say no”
The person on the receiving end will appreciate this much more, as you stand in your confident self, they will appreciate and value your honesty and they’ll know where they stand. You don’t have to be rude or abrupt, but said with honesty and integrity, they will understand and appreciate that. They’re more likely to be empathic to your cause.
3. By saying NO to one thing you are saying YES to another.
By saying no to something you don’t want to do, you are allowing energy, space and freedom for something more epic to come along. Why would you want to block that eh? We all want new doors, opportunities and incredibleness to come into our lives wherever it’s possible, so stop blocking it by saying yes to things that actually don’t serve you!
4. Don’t leave it to the last minute.
One of the stories I tell myself and many around me is that ‘I’m last minute Haydon’. We have this ongoing joke in our family and it’s always been that way - oh here we go again, last minute Haydons (you know - starting the dissertation a week before it’s due, is kinda last minute). However, this is purely a story I tell myself and believe, and its one that I am changing. In leaving the change of heart, the YES/NO situation to the last minute, you create even more stress and discomfort for yourself, and for others. If we go back to the first point in this list, and think about listening to our intuition, it helps us to make quick decisions and get it over and done with. The more we drag things out, the worse it becomes.
So, what are you saying YES to that you should really be saying NO too?
What are you blocking by saying YES to things that no longer serve you?
I challenge you this week - to say NO and LOVE it!
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