137. When Words Aren’t Enough: How to Excel at Nonverbal Communication

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If communication is like painting, words are the primary colors. But to convey deeper meaning, we need a broader color palette, which Dana Carney says requires the mastery of nonverbal communication.

We often focus on the words that we say when honing our communication, but according to Carney, there are many instances “where nonverbals start to be more meaningful than verbals.” A professor at Berkeley’s Haas School of Business and the George Quist Chair in Business Ethics, Carney researches the nonverbal ways in which we communicate our biases, our preferences, our power, and our status.

As Carney explores in her forthcoming book, The Five Nonverbal Rules of Power, there are several key areas of nonverbal behavior that we need to grasp in order to fully tap our potential as communicators. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, she and host Matt Abrahams discuss how to read the nonverbal communication of others — and how to gain control of the nonverbals we express to the world.

Episode Reference Links:

• Dana Carney: Website
• Ep.12 - It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It: How to Communicate Power Website / YouTube 
• Ep.16 - How to Craft Your Body Language When Confronting Objections Website / YouTube 

Connect:

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• Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
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• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction

Matt Abrahams introduces guest Dana Carney, an expert in nonverbal communication.

(00:01:12) Understanding Nonverbal Communication

Foundational aspects of nonverbal communication, dividing it into perception and expression, and emphasizing the importance of facial expressions and body language.

(00:02:11) The Nonverbal Rules of Power

How nonverbal communication influences perceptions of power and status and the concept of the "five nonverbal rules of power".

(00:04:37) Cultural and Contextual Variations

The impact of culture and context on nonverbal cues, discussing how cultural differences can alter the interpretation of behaviors such as eye contact and proximity.

(00:08:10) The Balance Between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

Verbal versus nonverbal communication and its significance especially in contexts where honesty or bias might be in question.

(00:09:15) Achieving Communication Goals Through Nonverbals

How understanding nonverbal cues can help individuals achieve specific social interaction goals.

(0012:51) Enhancing Nonverbal Communication Skills

Practical advice for becoming more aware of one's nonverbal communication, including self-observation and seeking feedback from others.

(00:16:13) The Final Three Questions

Dana shares a nonverbal behavior that demonstrates confidence, a communicator she admires, and her recipe for successful communication.

(00:21:09) Conclusion