Journal entry.
Intuitive is defined as: using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive
I think this is why I have always liked sacred sites because when you are at one “you are beyond conscious reasoning” you sense something in the air.
and I like it there because for me there has always been more life beyond conscious reasoning.
You only need to fall in love to understand the truth in that.
There are different ways of knowing.
On native medicine wheels there was always body, mind , heart , spirit.
It was understood the mind was only one way of relating to or experiencing life.
Plaque rock is a beautiful dome of granite that sits logged deep into the river bank.
You can walk up onto it easily from the bank and then it falls in perfect smooth rock down to a pool below with a few young crocodiles and a lazy terrapin that live in it.
Beyond that is a second band of rock and then the thick green phragmites reeds of the river.
As a child when I would go there it may as well have been another planet.
Running and playing on the large dome we could have landed on mars.
The rock is warm in the late evening having absorbed the sun's heat and if you lay with your back on it will share that warmth with you. the whole rock feels alive. Like it has its own intelligence. Like the rock itself is a living presence.
As I sit there on a winter's day I am the centre of a small universe that spins around it.
Creatures slowly appear.
A kudu in the midst of the far bank.
A herd of nyala
Herons kingfishers flying past. A lizard scuttles out from under a rock to bask.
There's something you don’t do enough of….basking
My grandfather who I never met used to sit on this rock.
When I am there I can intuit his ancestral presence.
I am a part of what came before, I am a part of what will come after. I am not self made. I do not think of myself as a life apart. I am a part of life.
Inside of this understanding I see a bigger picture. For a moment I am set free from the innate narcissism that my life is in some way the most important thing that’s happening.
I am part of a chain of unfolding life.
My grandfather flew planes in the second world war. From north africa him and a rogue captain called hayward would fly to warsaw to drop supplies for the polish resistance.
Hayward knew that if they flew high over the city they would be a slow moving target for the anti aircraft guns. so when he saw the city which was on fire he would fly low down the river, dodging bridges moving too fast for gunners then drop his cargo and go. flying home with barely enough fuel.
After the war my grandfather took up lion hunting as a way to keep himself feeling alive.
Only later when I came to understand trauma did it occur to me that the lion hunting was a common behaviour for someone with severe combat experience and ptsd. The need to seek out dangerous extremes to try and get the sound back on in your life.
When my grandfather died suddenly at 54 the war was long over. Hayward loaded my 15 year old father in a plane and flew him from Johannesburg to the place where I now sat in the wild . flying over the rock hayward ever the renegade opened the window and tipped my grandfather's ashes out into the river.
That’s how plague rock became an ancestral place for my family.
When I was born my mother named me craig…..I cried and cried until the shangaans people told my mother I was crying for my ancestral name. they started calling me body and I became a quiet child.
As I sit here this morning I can look down across the pool at the base of the rock to the second ridge where a plague with my grandfather's name on it….a name that is also my name. boyd varty it reads he loved the bushveld.
I'm telling you this because your ancestry makes you close to your infinity and your mortality.
When I am here I intuit some deep transformation in my own life that seems to be happening on a grander scale in the world.
“the restoration of the planet will come out if shift in human consciousness” is my cry
My grandfather was a lion hunter. I am a lion tracker..
My grandfather had severe ptsd……I have worked intensely with how to heal extreme trauma.
We were both in love with the wild.
As a hunter he was intictual as a healer so am i.
In the men in my family for so long there was steel with no feeling .I am coming to respect both.
Why am I saying all this from some forgotten rock in south africa …..and what does it have to do with you.
Okay here goes.
If you have bothered to listen to these podcasts and they moved you or interested you then something in you is intuiting what's under the words.
You know that like me you are here for the mystery, you are here to live differently, you are here for nature, you are here to find your track.
Your whole life a part of you deep down has known the way we are living is not the way. maybe you couldn’t say it for fear of sounding crazy but a part of you knows.
A part of you has whispered I'm here for a different world……..I'm here to make that world by waking up to my life.
For starters you are the chain in ancestral life…..whatever you came from you can be the start of a transformation for generations to come.
Who knows the power of one authentic life. Life is full of platformless heros.
For all we know Nelson Mandela's grandmother may have been the person who gave him the fortitude to be who he was.
If you heal you heal the past…..if you heal you heal the future.
Just ask yourself truly do I intuit “something beyond conscious reasoning for my life”
I'm on this expedition on pure intuition.
On one level Who cares if I go on these expeditions to the places that call me.
Yet I'm called to this story in a way I realise I don’t have to understand.
Imagine we were planted here… those of us with that intuition to awakening like sleeper seeds waiting to bloom.
All your life you have felt it just beyond your amnesia ……you have been reaching for it like it just slipped your mind.
The faith it has taken.
The faith it will still take to say I will give up the rational and follow that other way of knowing.
If you're listening to this you are either stone cold right now… in which case i'm probably just going to annoy you over time and congrats you made it this far ……or you're on fire. something in you is saying yes.
I don’t mean to sound wafty….but im okay with it for a moment because I know that certainly the intuition has to lead to action.
But for now from a huge ancestral domed rock by a river in Africa hear a voice reaching out to you wherever you are right now.
Think of all the things that had to happen for these words to come to your ears.
Trust yourself. Trust what you know deep down. Learn to live beyond conscious reasoning.
That’s what i'm trying to do.
4-0 out.
Boyd Varty Sacred Sites
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