*Sleet and Ice ambience—Nature tossed an early morning meatball the day before Christmas. A steady fall of ice covered everything in a faux-white (the New England in me wouldn't grant this "White Christmas" status even if my kids were).
And yet, my holiday mind flipped through the possibilities: "Am I dreaming of a white Christmas podcast?" My prior falling ice episode was well received; let's do it again.
But how? The Candy Canes were already moved to clearance aisles with the nearly-expired vitamins and other weird grocery **** like Pistachio butter or pickled cockles.
And not even the old-fashioned Candy Canes; it was the sale on Starburst or Skittle canes.
Any holiday podcast released on the doorstep of Christmas would feel stale.
After all, this is the time of year when I start embracing the bleakness of winter without twinkling lights. The Christmas Crunch cereal and tree-shaped Reese's are 75% off. And somehow, large sections in department stores are dedicated to Valentine's Day.
This brief period of holiday hangover where every day feels like a Sunday, and most folks on social media are posting gym or business pics about "getting it" in the new year. As we stack all of our ab and financial aspirations onto a new calendar. Even though we did that last year.
Look, I didn't want another Holiday episode, not after the Greyhound Bus episode sent us on a highway of mirth and merriment to Mom and the rest of our ****** family members. There was no way to fit in another elf-ish episode or holiday box fan.
Not while deductibles reset and the taxman looms. So… Happy New Year; enjoy some non-festive falling ice.
(I hope y'all had/ are having a lovely holiday).