To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm

When you’ve gone after something you want, like a promotion or less boring work, did you follow the typical advice to lean hard into your confident, forceful side? When you’re interacting with people at work, how often do you find yourself deflecting praise, downplaying your accomplishments, or responding “busy!” when someone asks how you’re doing? We often make a tradeoff between being likable and being strong, but is it possible to be both assertive and warm?

Alison Fragale, a professor of organizational behavior, says yes. She argues that women can—and should—embrace warmth and assertiveness to build respect, elevate their status, and gain power. Alison shares practical ways to show up as strong and personable and offers advice on how to approach negotiations, networking, and other everyday interactions, including your out-of-office message.

Guest:

Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.

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