Tom Hibbert (the world’s funniest music writer) and why Madonna should be sued

Our piercing Hubble Telescope Of Truth scans the rock and roll heavens to see what new patterns emerge, among them …

… running into Rod Stewart at a friend’s funeral.

… the priceless spectacle of rock critics dancing.

... Prefab Sprout and the fine art of bathos – “We were songbirds, we were Greek Gods, we were singled out by fate/We were quoted out of context - it was great!”

… the best songs about being in a band.

… Jackson Browne’s Running On Empty (and its hymn to self-love).

… King Kong, the most famous movie of all time - and why, like Jaws and Jurassic Park, the special effects now seem creaky but the drama still holds.

… our new pop star category: “dancer-singer”.

... how Tom Hibbert invented a whole new whole method of music journalism (and the only song that could get him on a dancefloor).

… “the crack of the backbeat on Vine Street”.

… and birthday guest Roger Millington on Heroes by David Bowie, the Archers theme tune and anything else that might make a new National Anthem.

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