YOMP

Simon loves this boy's film for the lads, a manly movie where men shoot other men in a real manly way. It's Equilibrium - a future where emotions are banned and fascism is in. Christian Bale, Seans Bean and Pertwee, kung fu with guns, aka gun fu or gun kata! This film only exists because of The Matrix.

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Gee pick! John Carpenter's film in which an ex-WWE wrestler fights his friend just to get him to wear a pair of sunglasses. "I came here to eat ass and write a short description of this episode. And I just finished writing the description."

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Simon finally gets another pick! A comedy sci-fi romp in which nazis have been in hiding on the dark side of the moon since 1945. Any compliments about Simon's expert pronunciation of German words can be posted as a comment on our YOMP Patreon where you can also find bonus content: www.patreon.com/yompcast

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It's a Gee pick! A mysterious newly wealthy man who loves throwing parties and staring at a green light becomes best friends with Tobey Maguire so that he can pork his cousin.

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Another Bouphe pick, another Neil Breen movie. The moment we had been dreading finally comes to pass (thru). Neil Breen is a space Jesus AI with power to manipulate space, time and energy. Dark matter, dark energy, quantum physics, the string theory. Sounds great doesn't it? It isn't.

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Bouphe pick! The director of this film describes it as “a mysterious man comes to a small town to perform a mysterious event and everybody is fascinated by him and everybody is in love with everybody else”. He also made The Greasy Strangler. It's awkward, weird, otherworldly, and like a dream you have after eating too much cheese.

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We each picked two films and rolled to decide what we'd watch for our Halloween episode! Gee's pick won! We get to watch Kevin Bacon die in a timeline in which he never made those EE adverts!

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Gee's tenth pick, the dice love her. There's something in the waters surrounding Amity Island. It's big, has sharp teeth, loves eating people and has a theme tune that plays when it appears. The 50th Annual Regatta could be a disaster! The first ever summer blockbuster movie, Spielberg created a slasher movie where the villain is an animal (sorry for the spoiler, but yes - it's a shark). 

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For our Pickaxe Week live show we asked people to vote on which movie to watch from a list of films 'everyone has seen'. And Shrek won, by a landslide. Was this a fairytale experience or a hideous, ugly beast?

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Gee has picked this classic sci fi/horror. Jeff Goldblum goes on a 15 feet teleportation trip but something goes awry; he undergoes an unprecedented transformation from nerdy scientist to gigachad superhuman but the problem is he keeps changing... Does this classic Cronenberg body horror make us buzz with excitement or make us bang our heads against a window pane?

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Bouphe finally gets another pick! Huzzah! What happens when you take a forgotten kung fu movie from the '60s, redub it, add extra footage chroma keyed into it, then add a CG of fighting cow and tongue? A movie that falls flat on its face or flying kicks its way to victory?

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Simon has picked Who Killed Captain Alex? the legendary ultra-low budget action movie from Uganda available to watch for free on YouTube. Shootouts! Kung fu! Helicopters! VJ Emmie on the M.I.C.! Is this the pearl of Africa or a backyard filled with sewage?

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Gee pick! Jagged Edge! She wanted us to watch a neo-noir whodunnit thriller, found this movie existed and it went onto her list. The husband to a rich murdered wife is the only suspect until 73 minutes into the movie, did he do it? Jagged Edge or blunt rusty tool?

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Gee picked this video game adaptation cos she just wanted to munch popcorn and turn off brain. Angelina Jolie plays the only woman in existence, Lara Croft, surrounded by men who either want to kill her or make love to her. Was this film a real treasure or should it have remained buried and forgotten?

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Another Simon horror pick! Big director, big budget, big stars! Francis Ford Cop-a-load of this classic story adapted to the big screen. Did it give us a pain in the neck or did we fall under its seduction?

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Simon has picked this spectacular film about an estranged father reuniting with his son. Oh and daddy is now part alien/extradimensional being and wants to make kiddo like him. Do we find this movie X-citing or X-hausting?

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Gee sure loves her Hugh Jackman 19th century period pieces where he plays a showman. Deadly rivalry between magician Christian Bale and Huge Jackedman in the late 19th Century with a splash of science fiction. Did the movie make us gasp in wonder or do we wish it would just disappear?

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Bouphe finally gets another pick. This film is very important to her and sharing this experience with us means a lot. A 38-year old man is still in highschool; he sings songs, blows up a chemistry lab, murders fish and falls in love with a much younger girl. Daredreamer or Darenightmarer?

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Gee won again! The harrowing tale of a man wronged by society, a Vietnam vet with PTSD dealing with conflict both inside his mind and out in the forests of the Pacific NW. Is it Rambo or Ram-boo? (As in booing with displeasure at something)

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One of Gee's picks, Tropic Thunder, an action movie where everything goes horribly wrong, where the lines between reality and fiction blur, where Robert Downey Jr dons blackface and yet isn't racist...? Oscars all round or did the film go full?

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A Simon pick! Dead Again, starring (at the time) married couple Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson. Past lives! Murder! Mystery! Suspense! Scissors! So many scissors! Will this give us Vertigo or make us Dial M for Murder?

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A Gee's musical pick, Huge Jackedman stars as a fictionised version of the infamous PT Barnum. Will this film Rewrite the Stars or is it Never Enough? Those are two of the songs in the film.

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Another Simon pick - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension, what a mouthful! Peter Weller, Robocop himself, starred in this scifi cult classic with Jeff Goldblum and John Lithgow. Simon could never finish this film on prior viewings, that's not a good sign.

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Simon finally gets a film of his picked - Galaxina! A scifi masterpiece with stunning effects starring Playboy Playmate Dorothy Stratten who died tragically shortly after the film released. It's a comedy that parodies such classics as 2001, Alien, Stars Wars and Trek.... but what did our hosts make of it?

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Our first Neil Breen Episode - Bouphe's pick was the legendary auteur's film Twisted Pair! Was it an incomprehensible mess of a story or just too smart for the average small-brained mortal viewer to grasp?

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Fate (with a little help) has determined that we watched Bouphe's pick - Frankenhooker! This gory 1990 horror comedy from Frank Henenlotter is about bringing a dead fiancée back to life using body parts from 'ladies of the night'. Did we split our sides or lose our heads over this truly unique work of cinematic art?

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Another from Gee's selection (what were the odds of that happening??? One in three) - Heat! Heists, capers, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, cops vs robbers... are they really so different? A crime thrill ride or car crash viewing?

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Our first film up for discussion is from Gee's list - the hit 80s comedy Planes, Trains and Automobiles! It's Thanksgiving and Steve Martin and John Candy are on a road trip from hell. Was it hell to watch or comedy heaven?

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There's a new podcast on the block - YOMP, Ye Olde Movie Podcast!

A weekly movie review podcast hosted by Simon "Honeydew" Lane, Georgia "Geestargames" Dana and Sophie "Bouphe" Rogerson. Each of our hosts curate a list of six films from a variety of genres and at the end of each episode we randomly select one to watch and discuss next week! In Episode Zero we go through our lists and explain the very simple premise and gimmick in a way that hopefully the average listener will understand, before randomly selecting our first film we will watch and discuss!

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