You Make Sense

Do you struggle to know what kind of boundaries to set? Many of us are taught to intellectualize our approach to boundary setting, which can leave us feeling confused or overwhelmed. In this episode, Sarah explores the embodied nature of boundaries and why unresolved trauma can leave us setting self-protective boundaries that aren’t actually aligned with our highest truth.

You’ll learn about three styles of boundary setting — diffuse, rigid, and embodied — and how to somatically begin coming back in contact with your truth. During the Q&A with Rachel, Sarah will also tackle real-life boundary challenges in work, relationships, and beyond. If you feel caught in cycles of over-giving, reflexively saying “yes” or “no,” or sacrificing your own needs, this episode will help you understand why — and how to create boundaries that truly serve you.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Introduction

00:15 What Are Embodied Boundaries? 

04:46 Why We Struggle With Boundaries

09:22 Self-Protective Boundaries: Diffuse

18:01 Self-Protective Boundaries: Rigid 

25:01 Embodied Boundaries

28:33 Steps to Begin Setting Embodied Boundaries

35:17 Q&A Segment With Rachel 

35:58 “Can I Stay in a High-Pressure Work Environment?”

43:25 “How Can I Stop Over-Giving and Being Resentful?”

56:20 “Am I Going Backward in My Healing Journey?”

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Embodied Boundaries –  A behavioral response that is rooted in one’s internal truth, limits, and needs. These boundaries are usually accessed when close to or in regulation and allow for deep levels of connectivity and autonomy.

Self-Protective Boundaries – When we’ve experienced trauma or our truth was chronically taken away, we learn to adapt and set self-protective boundaries. These boundaries are typically rooted in survival or a younger part that is seeking safety.

Diffuse Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “yes” response. Think of these as “Swiss cheese” boundaries, where it is a boundary of sorts but it is permeable.

Rigid Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “no” response. Think of these as “steel wall” boundaries, where nothing is able to permeate the boundary. 

Autonomic Nervous System: The self-protective system within the body that is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, sensations, behaviors, and perception of self, others, and the world around us, as well as regulating involuntary functions, such as your heart rate and digestion, and playing a central role in how you react to stress or calm.

What if the work you do isn’t just a paycheck but a path to alignment and fulfillment? In this episode, Sarah breaks down how our nervous system influences career choices and why so many of us end up in survival-based jobs rather than roles that truly inspire us. She explores the impact being misaligned in our work has on our nervous system, relationships, health, and overall well-being.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re meant for more, this episode will teach you how to step into a career (and life) that truly aligns with your gifts. You’ll learn how to create congruency in your current role, identify your true calling, and take tangible steps toward your desires. When you’re aligned with your purpose, it not only allows for deeper personal fulfillment — it also lights up the world around you.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:27 Choosing a Career or Job From Survival

06:45 Human Beings Thrive When Purposeful

08:39 Finding Your Unique Gifts

11:03 How Being Misaligned Impacts Our Relationships

13:53 How Being Misaligned Impacts Our Health

14:51 Tools For Becoming More Aligned

22:50 Changing Your Role As You Heal

25:12 Our Systems Deeply Desire Alignment

26:47 Transitioning Careers and Finding Fulfillment 

32:51 Work Environments Can Replicate Dynamics From Childhood

37:55 Why Self-Like Parts Keep Us From Our Purpose  

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: 

Want more science-backed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Protective Parts - Protective parts are internal mechanisms (or versions of ourselves) developed to shield us from pain or harm, often formed during childhood. These parts use behaviors like perfectionism, overachievement, or avoidance to keep us safe from perceived threats. While they are well-intentioned, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns until their needs are addressed.

Nervous System Regulation – Techniques and strategies used to calm and stabilize the nervous system. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down responses and into a balanced state of presence and connection.

Internal Safety – The feeling of stability and security that comes from within, rather than external circumstances. Sarah emphasizes that without internal safety, change can feel terrifying or overwhelming for our system and parts, making it difficult to step into a fulfilling career.

“Self-Like” Parts – These protective parts often sound like adult you but are in fact a protective part that is coming online to keep us safe. This often looks like self-doubt, avoidance, hesitation, retreating, or seemingly “rational” arguments that are based in fear.

Alignment – The state of living in accordance or congruency with one’s purpose, values, and natural gifts. Sarah explains that when we are aligned with our work, it energizes us rather than drains us, creating a ripple effect of positive impact.

Disconfirming Experiences – New, positive experiences that challenge and override old self-protective beliefs. For example, if it was unsafe in the past to use our voice, any time we tolerably step toward using our voice in the present, that is a disconfirming experience, showing our nervous system the past is over and it’s now safe to speak up.

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah dives into the complex layers of family dynamics, personal boundaries, and healing from past experiences. You'll learn how the dynamics within your family of origin created the roles you had to play, how those roles shape your adult relationships, and how to begin breaking free from those roles to step into your most fully-expressed self.

Through personal insights and therapeutic wisdom, Sarah discusses why our family of origin often triggers or activates us the most—and why we often see our caregivers as an extension of ourselves. If you’ve ever dreaded going home or struggle to set boundaries with your family, this episode will equip you with the somatic tools necessary to release the pain of the past and move forward with more ease.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Introduction 

00:15 Why We Struggle with Our Family of Origin

12:57 Becoming the Primary Parent to Your Parts

22:45 Access Healthy Aggression 

27:41 Finding Belonging Through Chosen Family

30:58 Differentiating From Our Caregivers

37:37 Creating Safety & Setting Boundaries

49:40 Processing Recent Traumatic Experiences 

56:58 Healing From Abuse

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Join the 10-Week You Make Sense Course:

Ready to go even deeper into somatic healing? Sarah’s 10-week live course, You Make Sense, is now open for enrollment. You’ll get tangible, science-backed tools to help you step toward the relationships, purpose, and life you desire.

https://bit.ly/sp-yms

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast  

Important Keywords:

Family of Origin – The family system you were born into or raised in that shaped how you relate to others, your sense of belonging, and your identity. This dynamic then informs the way you show up in your adult life.

Boundaries – Boundaries are not a cognitive process but a somatic one that is informed by our internal truth, limits, and needs. We are all born with an innate ability to know our internal truth, but many of us become disconnected from that truth as a result of trauma. 

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system, complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.

Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.

If you’ve ever tossed and turned at night, wondering why you just can’t seem to get the rest you need, you’re not alone. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah Baldwin breaks down how insomnia, struggling to stay asleep, and other sleep disorders are often deeply connected to what’s happening in your nervous system.

Sarah explains why stress, unresolved trauma, and even daily overwhelm can keep you stuck in fight-or-flight, making deep sleep and rest nearly impossible. From easy, science-backed strategies like movement and time in nature to simple bedtime routines and setting boundaries, this episode is packed with practical tools to help you experience better quality sleep.

Episode Highlight:

00:00 Intro

00:35 Why Do We Struggle with Sleep?

04:31 7 Things You Need to Achieve Deep Rest

12:36 Effects of Chronic Lack of Sleep

16:50 The Epidemic of Sleep Disorders

21:24 3 Categories of Sleep Struggles

30:02 Why Nervous System Regulation is Needed for Deep Sleep

32:57 Creating a Nighttime Routine

39:00 Finding Relief From Insomnia

43:30 Unresolved Emotions or Grief Can Impact Sleep

46:58 What To Do When You Wake Up During the Night    

48:40 Setting Boundaries Around Sleep

Join the 10-Week You Make Sense Course:

Ready to go even deeper into somatic healing? Sarah’s 10-week live course, You Make Sense, is now open for enrollment. You’ll get tangible, science-backed tools to help you step toward the relationships, purpose, and life you desire.

https://bit.ly/sp-yms

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Nervous System Regulation – Techniques used to discharge activation and bring the nervous system back into a state of rest. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down response and into a balanced state of presence and connection.

Dysregulation – A state of active self-protection where the nervous system perceives danger. This can either be caused by a real threat based in the present moment or stem from past trauma, danger, or hardship, causing our system to superimpose a past experience onto the present.

Sympathetic Nervous System – When our system believes there is something we can do about the threat, it will send us into this mobilized state of dysregulation, often sometimes referred to as “fight or flight.” This is where we experience things like anxiety, terror, rage, panic, fear, agitation, or irritation.

Freeze State – A blended state of dysregulation experienced as tonic immobility. It is made up of equal parts mobilizing sympathetic energy and immobilizing dorsal energy, rendering us stuck. This state of dysregulation can make it difficult to fall or stay asleep..

Circadian Rhythm – The body’s internal clock that regulates sleep-wake cycles. Exposure to natural light in the morning and evening helps align this rhythm, making it easier to fall and stay asleep.

Restorative Rest – True rest that recharges the nervous system, which is different from passive activities like watching TV or scrolling on your phone. Practices like meditation, sound baths, and deep breathing help bring the body into a relaxed state before sleep.

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound shifts that occur as we heal—both within ourselves and in our relationships. She delves into the challenges of evolving while being in partnerships, the difficulty of letting go when growth outpaces connection, and the natural distance that can emerge between those on different healing journeys.

Sarah also answers listener questions about navigating major life transitions. From unfulfilling marriages and moving forward when a partner is unwilling to grow, to forgiveness and releasing resentment following a betrayal, these questions spark a powerful conversation about trauma, self-protection, and reclaiming life after pain.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Introduction 

00:15 Processing Endings

03:26 Internal Safety and Connectivity

06:42 Unwritten Contracts and Change in Our Relationships

09:59 Healing Decreases Our Toleration for Suffering

12:15 Giving Ourselves the Things We Never Got

13:21 Healing Invites Space for Change

18:58 Meeting New Parts of Ourselves

28:14 Leaving A Stagnant Relationship

32:13 Navigating Betrayal and Resentment

36:41 Forgiveness and Resolving Past Trauma

Join Sarah’s Email Community:

Want more somatic tools straight to your inbox? Click below to join Sarah’s email community for weekly teachings and additional resources.

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Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Resentment – Resentment often signals unmet needs or unprocessed emotions. Nervous system regulation helps in addressing these feelings by discharging the underlying dysregulation.

Forgiveness – True forgiveness can only happen when a person has processed the appropriate response and emotions related to their trauma, by accessing what’s called healthy aggression.

Relational Shifts in Healing – As healing progresses, people may feel disconnected from past relationships, social circles, or roles. This is a natural part of transformation, signaling new growth and self-awareness.

Somatic Experiencing – Created by Dr. Peter Levine, this therapeutic modality uses body awareness, movement, and nervous system regulation to release and resolve stored trauma. By building capacity to be in our embodied experience, we can teach our nervous system how to pendulate, resulting in the discharge of stored trauma and overall regulation of the nervous system.

There can be a lot of talk around forgiveness in the self-help space, but what does it actually mean to forgive? Forgiveness is not just a mindset shift or something we can “think” our way into—it is a somatic process that requires addressing the nervous system and accessing our healthy aggression. 

Using the latest neuroscience research, Sarah explains how unresolved trauma gets stored in our bodies until we are able to “complete the incomplete experience” or access the appropriate response to what occurred. If you’ve struggled to let go and move forward in life, this episode will give you a step-by-step guide to somatically resolve these wounds, so that you can find freedom from the past and release feelings of shame and resentment.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:46 Time Does Not Heal All  

04:36 We Must First Process What Occurred

08:01 What is Healthy Aggression?

11:20 What is Unhealthy Aggression?

12:36 Building Your Capacity for Healthy Aggression

15:56 Practical Applications for Somatic Forgiveness 

21:31 Accessing Your Unmet Needs

24:09 Struggling to Move On After a Betrayal

27:21 Healing Shame and Anger from Childhood Trauma

32:48 How to Overcome Parental Guilt

42:07 Spiritual Bypassing Around Forgiveness 

RSVP to Sarah’s FREE live training:

Ready for tangible somatic tools? Take this work to the next level when you join the Nervous System Starter Kit — a FREE 75-minute live training to help you get into the driver’s seat of your experience and step toward your desires.

https://bit.ly/sp-nssk 

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Polyvagal Theory - This theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the autonomic nervous system regulates our responses to stress, danger, and safety. It highlights the role of the vagus nerve in shifting between survival states (fight, flight, freeze, and shut down) and social engagement, which is crucial for emotional healing.

Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.

Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system and complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.

Titration of Trauma - This refers to the body's natural process of releasing stored energy from past trauma or stress. It can happen through movement, sound, breathwork, or other somatic practices that allow the body to complete an unfinished emotional cycle and pendulate through stress responses.

Do you ever feel like there’s an invisible wall holding you back from the life you desire? In this episode, Sarah explores why achieving our goals can feel so difficult—even when we’re putting in the effort. The key to unlocking our full potential lies in understanding and befriending our autonomic nervous system, which shapes our entire experience and the ease in which we’re able to take steps forward. 

By viewing the nervous system as a vehicle, Sarah shares practical strategies for how to guide your nervous system down roads that lead to your deepest desires. Through the power of nervous system regulation, parts work, and safe connection, it’s possible to get unstuck and tangibly move toward a more full, expansive life.

Episode Highlight:

00:00 Intro

01:35 The Vehicle Inside You (Your Nervous System)

07:31 The Roads of Your Deepest Desires

19:02 What Determines the Size of Your Life

23:52 Building Capacity in Your Nervous System

26:48: 4 Things That Don’t Actually Work

27:46 #1 - “Muscling Through” 

30:08 #2 - Setting Unattainable Goals

32:43 #3 - Taking Steps in Isolation

34:52 #4 - Comparing Our Self to Others

36:28 Building a Bridge to Where You Want to Go

40:48 Cultivating Safe Community and Connection

42:07 Start Honoring Your ‘NO’

44:58 “What About Taking the Big, Scary Step?”

49:44 “How to Take Tolerable Steps in Dating?”

53:27 “Why Is It So Hard to Take Steps Forward?”     

Join the Expansion Experience:

Ready to start expanding into a bigger life? Join Sarah’s 3-day live experience for tangible somatic tools to break through stagnancy and start expanding. First call starts on March 17th with replays available for a limited time.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-ee

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Autonomic Nervous System - The body's command center for automatic functions like breathing, heart rate, and digestion. It also plays a vital role in how we respond to stress and perceived threats, as well as our ability to feel safe, connected, and regulated.

Roads of Safety - The pathways our nervous system recognizes as safe and predictable, often shaped by past experiences. While they provide comfort and stability, they may not always align with our true desires or highest potential.

Roads of Familiarity - The patterns and dynamics we've learned to navigate—whether healthy or not. Our nervous system tends to gravitate toward familiar routes because they offer a sense of control, even if they don’t always serve our well-being.

Safe Connection - The deep sense of being seen, heard, and understood by others, fostering a feeling of belonging and security. Safe connection is essential for regulating the nervous system and expanding our capacity for growth, healing, and change.

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the science behind relationships using Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, and Parts Work. She explains how these frameworks complement each other and shape our ability to connect, feel safe inside our relational containers, and navigate emotional intimacy.

Sarah highlights the importance of understanding how our nervous system and parts inform the people we choose in our lives, emphasizing that much of what we experience in adult connections is rooted in early life experiences. By combining these three approaches, it’s possible to heal the past in the present, navigate challenges with more ease, and attract the kinds of partners we truly desire.

Episode Highlight:

00:00 Introduction

00:15 Understanding Our Relationships

02:00 The Nervous System & Attachment Theory

09:02 How Attachments Form

16:04 How We Connect In Our Adult Lives

21:24 How to Regulate Based On Your Attachment Style

22:12 The Nervous System & Parts Work

32:58 How “Self-Like Parts” Show Up

39:07 Why Moving On Can Be So Challenging 

49:29 Avoidant Attachment & Healing Shame

53:03 Panic In Relationships

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Polyvagal Theory – A framework explaining how the autonomic nervous system governs safety, connection, and self-protective responses in our relationships and lives.

Attachment Theory – A psychological model describing how early childhood experiences shape relational patterns, emotional bonds, and the way we connect with others.

Parts Work – A therapeutic approach (e.g., Internal Family Systems) that explores different parts or aspects of the self and their roles in emotional healing.

Nervous System Regulation – Techniques and practices that help manage stress responses, promoting emotional balance and internal safety.

Avoidant Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where connection can often feel overwhelming and individuals subconsciously withdraw from intimacy due to past emotional wounds.

Anxious Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where we feel less safe on our own and often sacrifice our own needs in order to maintain connection with another.

Disorganized Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where we tend to feel comfortable in chaos and want others close, but when they come close, we push them away.

Shame & Internalization – The process of internalizing negative beliefs about oneself, often rooted in childhood experiences of criticism or neglect.

What if there was a way to find more lightness and joy in your healing journey along the way? In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound impact of two transformative states within the autonomic nervous system: play and stillness. These states aren’t just about fun and quiet—they’re the keys to unlocking creativity, emotional regulation, and deeper connections.

Sarah shares practical tips to help you embrace these vital states, from finding freedom through dance and movement to building rituals that invite inner peace. Whether you’re using play to resolve conflict in your relationships or creating a nighttime stillness routine for better sleep, this episode offers a roadmap to navigate life with greater ease and aliveness.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:17 Play and Stillness

02:03 3 States of Dysregulation

03:00 Getting to Know Your Blended State of Play

11:06 Why Do We Struggle to Experience Play?

15:09 Tools to Begin Stepping Toward Play

19:20 Getting to Know Your Blended State of Stillness

26:40 Why Do We Struggle to Experience Stillness?

30:02 Tools to Begin Stepping Toward Stillness

38:18 “How Do I Feel More Playful and Free While Dancing?”

50:41 “Why Doesn’t Meditation Work For Me?”

59:42 “How Can Play Help Improve My Relationship?” 

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: 

Want free trauma-informed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) - The autonomic nervous system is a part of the nervous system that operates unconsciously to regulate vital bodily functions such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. It has two primary branches: the sympathetic (activates fight-or-flight responses) and parasympathetic (promotes our rest-and-digest state along with our dorsal vagal complex), which are integral in supporting us to experience both regulation and dysregulation. 

Play - Play is a blended state within the autonomic nervous system, made primarily of regulation (ventral vagal complex) with a touch of mobilizing sympathetic energy (sympathetic nervous system). It fosters creativity, learning, and bonding by bringing joy and aliveness into life experiences.

Stillness - Stillness is a state predominantly rooted in regulation (ventral vagal complex) with a subtle influence of the dorsal vagal complex. It encourages deep presence, better sleep, intimacy and emotional connection, and rejuvenation, allowing individuals to fully embrace quiet, restorative moments.

Ventral Vagal Complex - The ventral vagal complex is part of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with safety and regulation. It governs states of connection, calm, and engagement with others, enabling social bonding and overall well-being.

Sympathetic Nervous System - The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for activating the fight-or-flight response, preparing the body to react to real or perceived threats. It increases energy and alertness, mobilizing the body for action when needed.

Dorsal Vagal Complex - The dorsal vagal complex is a branch of the parasympathetic nervous system linked to immobilization and shutdown responses. It becomes active in extreme stress or trauma and helps us to leave our bodies, resulting in feelings of disconnection or dissociation.

Shame often keeps us from living the full, expansive life we’re desiring. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explains the difference between “healthy” and “unhealthy” shame, and why unresolved trauma can often leave us feeling unworthy or like there is something inherently wrong with us.

While shame can affect every area of our lives, from our relationships to our purpose, the good news is that it’s absolutely possible to heal. Sarah will walk you through tangible somatic steps to bring your nervous system back into internal safety and access your healthy aggression or “life force energy,” both of which are imperative to releasing shame and finding freedom in your everyday life.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:26 What is Healthy Shame?

04:29 What is Unhealthy Shame?

11:55 How the Internalization of Shame Occurs

13:59 How to Resolve Unhealthy Shame

18:43 Accessing Healthy Aggression

21:25 Parts Work & Embodying Your Creativity

27:10 Processing the Underlying Activation of Panic Attacks

33:17 Being Ferociously Protective of Your Own Story

37:52 Shame Around Experiencing Setbacks

Work with Sarah inside the You Make Sense course:

Looking for tools to heal every area of your life? You Make Sense is a 10-week live somatic healing course that will help you to address your relationships, purpose, younger parts, boundaries, thoughts, and more!

Join the waitlist by March 4th for limited-time reduced pricing:

https://bit.ly/sp-yms-waitlist

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Healthy Shame - Healthy shame teaches individuals about boundaries, consequences, and experiencing health in relationships and life. It begins to occur during early developmental stages and builds resilience to navigate stress and be with affect in our bodies. In the process, we are not made to feel like we are inherently bad or unlovable.

Unhealthy Shame - Unhealthy shame is the internalization of what happened to us (or what was said to us) making one feel inherently bad and unworthy. This type of shame is often rooted in traumatic experiences and can result in long-lasting psychological distress.

Nervous System Regulation - Nervous system regulation involves managing the body's response to stress and stimuli through various techniques that help maintain or restore a state of balance. It is crucial for emotional resilience and overall mental health.

Somatic Experiencing - Somatic Experiencing is a modality developed by Peter Levine that uses the body to release stored trauma and activation. This approach is grounded in science that confirms the body holds past trauma, and that through somatic healing and completing the incomplete experience, we can release the stored traumatic energy and consequently, the past becomes the past rather than the perpetual present.

Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.

Internalization - Internalization is a psychological process where individuals unconsciously integrate the beliefs, values, and norms of others into their own self-view. In the context of shame, it often refers to the absorption of negative beliefs about oneself that are derived from critical or dismissive messaging and treatment by others.

Diving into the often overlooked but deeply interconnected realms of science and spirituality, Sarah guides listeners through a transformative exploration. She underscores how both domains intertwine, particularly in the context of trauma and healing. Many of us desire to embody the core elements of spirituality—connectivity, presence, love, and surrender—but struggle to actually do so.

This episode will address the common misconceptions and challenges associated with spirituality, including the impact of trauma on our capacity to experience deep levels of connectivity. She critiques the prevalent shaming in spiritual contexts, advocating for a more empathetic and inclusive approach.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:36 What is Spirituality?

07:56 Most Trauma is Relational

15:58 Processing Your Anger Toward the Universe

22:53 Unlocking Connectivity to Your Spirituality

31:51 Spiritual Journey and Nervous System Work

33:19 Healing is Spiritual Work

41:54 “How Does Plant Medicine Relate to the Nervous System?”

49:35 “Why Do I Feel Like I Have No Spiritual Connection?”

Join Sarah’s Email Community

Looking for more tools and deeper support? Sarah offers additional teachings through her FREE weekly newsletter. Click below to join the email community.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Trauma Resolution - A process aimed at addressing and healing from traumatic experiences. Trauma resolution involves somatic therapeutic techniques that help individuals process and discharge stored traumatic energy from their bodies, reducing the ongoing impact on their mental and physical health.

Nervous System Regulation - Refers to the practices and techniques used to maintain or return the nervous system to a state of balance. Effective regulation helps individuals manage their responses to stress and recover from experiences of chronic dysregulation, such as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, panic, or other trauma-related symptoms.

Interconnectivity - A key concept in spirituality that denotes the interconnected nature of all things in the universe, including the self, others, and the environment. It suggests that everything is linked, and leaning into these connections can lead to deeper levels of regulation and support overall wellbeing. 

Spirituality - Often defined broadly as a sense of connection to something bigger than oneself, which can involve a search for meaning in life. Spirituality is personal and can encompass religious beliefs, personal values, and practices aimed at cultivating inner peace, deeper connectivity, love, and surrender.

Somatic Experiencing - A therapeutic modality developed by Dr. Peter Levine aimed at resolving the mental, emotional, and physical symptoms of stored trauma by focusing on the body.

The secret to changing your thoughts isn’t in your mind—it’s in your body. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah uses Polyvagal Theory to unravel the fascinating science behind how our nervous system shapes our story and why just telling ourselves to “think” differently doesn’t actually work.

In order to change our thinking, we must first address the underlying dysregulation in our system. Sarah will walk you through tangible somatic practices to shift toward regulation, create new neural pathways for more “positive” thoughts, and find clarity on your truth. By harnessing the power of your nervous system, it’s possible to transform your inner world.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:49 Our Autonomic State Creates Our Story

07:29 Thoughts in Dorsal (Immobilization)

09:19 Thoughts in Sympathetic (Mobilization) 

11:15 Thoughts in Freeze (Tonic Immobility)

12:38 Thoughts in Ventral (Regulation)

15:09 Projecting Your Past Onto the Present

17:03 We Cannot Change Our Thinking in Dysregulation

20:20 Limitations of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

28:09 “Why Do Thoughts I Know To Be Wrong Feel So True?”

36:58 How to Overcome Negative Thoughts

44:29 Mindset Work & Manifestation From A Somatic Lens

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.

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Contact Us:

Have questions? Want to let us know how you’re liking the podcast? Reach out to Sarah’s support team at [email protected]. 

Important Keywords:

Nervous System - The nervous system regulates bodily functions and responses to stress, consisting of the sympathetic (fight/flight) and parasympathetic (rest/digest) systems, comprised of our ventral vagal complex (rest and digest) and our dorsal vagal complex (shutdown/energy conservation). A well-regulated nervous system supports emotional balance, overall well-being, and supportive thoughts.

Polyvagal Theory - A theory developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explaining how the autonomic nervous system responds to safety or threat through three primary states: Ventral Vagal Complex (regulation and connection), Sympathetic Nervous System (mobilization), and Dorsal Vagal Complex (immobilization). This framework helps understand how our physiological state influences thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and perception.

Dysregulation - Active self-protection in response to real or perceived threats, leading to physiological and emotional imbalance. It can manifest as anxiety, depression, apathy, or other distressing emotions and can hinder clear thinking or positive actions.

Sympathetic Nervous System - The branch of the autonomic nervous system associated with mobilization or the fight-or-flight response. When activated, it increases energy, heart rate, and alertness to prepare for action.

Dorsal Vagal Complex - A part of the parasympathetic nervous system responsible for immobilization or the shutdown response. It activates in extreme situations of perceived danger, leading to feelings of numbness, dissociation, or hopelessness.

Ventral Vagal Complex - The branch of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with regulation, safety, connection, and presence. It supports social engagement, calmness, and the ability to rest and recover.

Freeze Response - A blended state made of equal parts mobilizing Sympathetic energy and immobilizing Dorsal energy, creating a sense of urgency to act but an inability to do so. It often feels like being "stuck" or overwhelmed.

Perceived Threat - A situation or stimulus that the nervous system interprets as dangerous, even if it is not an immediate danger in reality. It often stems from past trauma being projected onto the present.

If slowing down feels impossible or like a luxury you can’t afford, this episode is for you. Sarah unpacks why so many of us stay trapped in a cycle of constant “doing,” where rest feels risky and burnout becomes inevitable. Drawing on her expertise in Somatic Experiencing, Polyvagal Theory, and Parts Work, she explains how your past, trauma, and societal expectations can all keep you stuck on the hamster wheel.

You’ll get simple, actionable steps to show your nervous system that slowing down isn’t just safe—it’s powerful. Whether it’s finding joy in a quiet walk, saying no to one more email, or unburdening your protective parts, this episode will help you reconnect with your body and bring regulation to your nervous system. Slowing down isn’t giving up—it’s the key to embodying the life and abundance you’re desiring.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:40 Your Environment Influences Your Nervous System

03:13 The Sympathetic Nervous System

06:44 The Origin of Our Protective Parts

11:55 Building Your Capacity to Slow Down

17:01 Somatic Tool: Disconfirming Experiences

19:31 Somatic Tool: Taking Tolerable Steps

21:25 Get to Know Your Protective Parts

24:04 “I Feel Like I’m Constantly in a Dysregulated State”

30:04 The Expand/Contract Experience of Healing 

34:34 Somatic Support for Difficult Life, Political, or World Events

Looking for Deeper Support on Your Healing Journey?

The next opportunity to work with Sarah is her 10-week program, You Make Sense! This comprehensive video-based course with weekly live Q&As will give you tangible somatic tools to address every area of your life.

Join the waitlist for limited-time reduced pricing coming in March 2025:

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Important Keywords:

Sympathetic Nervous System - The sympathetic nervous system is part of the autonomic nervous system responsible for mobilizing energy in response to perceived threats. By activating the HPA axis, cortisol and adrenaline levels are increased in the body, preparing our system to respond to danger and stress. Chronic activation of this system can lead to anxiety, burnout, and health issues.

Regulation - Regulation refers to the ability to maintain or return to a state of safety, presence, and connection within the nervous system. A regulated nervous system promotes calmness, focus, and the capacity to handle life's challenges effectively. Building regulation involves consistent neural exercises and creating disconfirming experiences that show your body it’s safe to come into a state of rest.

Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.

Protective Parts - Protective parts are internal mechanisms (or versions of ourselves) developed to shield us from pain or harm, often formed during childhood. These parts use behaviors like perfectionism, overachievement, or avoidance to keep us safe from perceived threats. While they are well-intentioned, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns until their needs are addressed.

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system and complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.

How often do we hear, “Just love your body,” only to feel more disconnected than ever? In this thoughtful episode of You Make Sense, Sarah tackles the complexities of body image, aging, appearance, and the journey to genuine self-acceptance. With her signature mix of science, storytelling, and somatic wisdom, she unpacks why conventional approaches to self-love often miss the mark—and what truly works.

Sarah shares relatable personal stories and actionable tools to help you heal your relationship with your body, process past trauma, and embrace your unique self. From reframing societal pressures to building a compassionate connection with your body, this episode offers practical steps for feeling more at home in your own skin.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

02:45 Society’s Messaging About Body Image

11:15 Befriending Your Body

13:54 Why Do We Hide in Our Body?

19:57 Trauma & Changing Our Appearance

22:18 The Origin of Our Negative Orientation to Aging

26:18 Somatic Tools to Build Self-Love and Acceptance

31:09 Replace Coping Strategies with Regulating Resources

38:01 “Why Am I Suddenly Negatively Fixated on My Height?”

43:16 Somatically Healing Your Relationship with Your Body

51:56 Binge-Eating and Sugar

01:02:14 Weight Gain Can Be a Response to Trauma    

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: 

Want free trauma-informed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.

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Important Keywords:

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing is an approach to healing that focuses on addressing the nervous system and stored trauma within the body. It uses practices like body awareness, movement, and nervous system regulation to support emotional and physical well-being.

Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.

Self-Compassion - Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and care, especially during difficult times. It replaces self-criticism with empathy, fostering emotional resilience and self-acceptance.

Dissociation - Dissociation is a coping mechanism where a person disconnects from their physical or emotional experiences, often in response to trauma or stress. It can manifest as a sense of detachment from reality, feeling "numb," or being "out of body."

Parts Work - Parts work is a therapeutic approach that identifies and works with different "parts" of the self, often associated with distinct emotions, behaviors, or events from childhood. It helps individuals address internal conflicts and foster self-integration.

Nervous System - The nervous system regulates bodily functions and responses to stress, consisting of the sympathetic (fight/flight) and parasympathetic (rest/digest) systems, comprised of our ventral vagal complex (rest and digest) and our dorsal vagal complex (shutdown/energy conservation). A well-regulated nervous system supports emotional balance, energy levels, and overall health.

Ever wonder why the relationships with the most potential sometimes feel the hardest? In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah unpacks the ways in which romantic partnerships often trigger our deepest wounds—and how they can also become the most powerful spaces for healing.

Sarah dives into the role our nervous system and parts play in unconsciously shaping the way we show up in love, and what we can do to begin building more safety, intimacy and trust in our partnerships. Backed by the latest neuroscience and trauma research, this episode will help you step toward deeper connection and transform your relationships.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:09 Why We Struggle in Our Relationships

05:59 How Do We Choose the People We Choose?

06:52 Ways Safe, Healthy Partnerships Support Us

12:32 The “Good” Doesn’t Always Feel Good At First

17:28 Parts Work and Leaning into Exposure

20:53 Understanding Resistance to Vulnerability

24:35 Tools to Step Toward Vulnerability & Intimacy

29:28 The Rupture and Repair Process

35:38 Navigating Different Perceptions in Relationships

48:10 Anxious Attachment and Avoidant Attachment Dynamic

Navigating Your Nervous System is Now Enrolling:

Ready for more tangible tools to heal at the nervous system level? My 6-week live course, Navigating Your Nervous System, is open for enrollment through January 17th. Click below to learn more.

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Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

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Important Keywords:

Neuroception - Neuroception is the subconscious process through which our nervous system detects safety or danger in our environment. It operates automatically, scanning both internal and external cues to determine if a situation is safe, dangerous, or life-threatening, which deeply influences our emotional and relational responses.

Autonomic Nervous System - The nervous system is our body’s command center, regulating everything from basic functions to complex emotional states. In relationships, its state determines how we perceive safety, connection, and danger, impacting our ability to connect.

Vulnerability - Vulnerability is the act of allowing ourselves to be seen fully, including our fears, emotions, and imperfections. It is essential for building intimacy and trust, but it often feels risky because it exposes parts of us we’ve learned to protect.

Attachment Styles - Attachment styles are relational patterns shaped often in early childhood that dictate how we connect with others. The common styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized—impact our ability to feel safe, express needs, and navigate intimacy in adult relationships.

Intimacy - Intimacy refers to deep emotional or physical closeness, where two people allow themselves to be fully seen and known. It goes beyond surface-level connection, requiring trust, presence, and a willingness to share vulnerable parts of ourselves.

Rupture and Repair - Rupture and repair describe the natural process of disconnection and reconnection in relationships. While ruptures are moments of conflict or disconnection, repair involves addressing the issue, rebuilding trust, and deepening the relationship’s safety.

Safety - Safety in relationships means feeling emotionally and physically secure with another person. It creates a foundation for vulnerability, intimacy, and trust, allowing individuals to show up fully without fear of judgment or harm.

Healing - Healing is the process of addressing unresolved wounds and past traumas that influence our current behaviors and perceptions. In relationships, healing occurs when we create safe spaces to experience love, trust, and connection that our past may have lacked.

This episode unpacks the vital connection between our nervous system and how we lead—in business, at home, and in life. Sarah dives into the science of regulation, exploring how dysregulated states like fight/flight, freeze, or shut down often drive our decisions, keeping us stuck in survival mode. These patterns, rooted in past experiences of stress or trauma, influence how we show up as leaders, parents, and creators.

With clear explanations and actionable tools, Sarah offers a roadmap for recognizing when we’re leading from dysregulation. She shares how to cultivate a regulated nervous system, unlocking creativity, connection, and clarity. Whether you're looking to grow a business, nurture your family, or simply lead yourself with more purpose, this episode offers the practical steps to create the life—and leadership—you desire.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:26 Leading from a State of Regulation

01:20 Entrepreneurs Have Higher Stress Levels

04:28 The Most Important Thing Parents Should Focus on

06:43 Your Nervous System Affects Everyone Else

08:23 Leading from Sympathetic (fight/flight)

11:05 Leading from Regulation (safety)

13:36 Leading from Dorsal (shut down)

15:27 Leading from Freeze (tonic immobility)

17:42 Consistent Neural Exercises

20:41 How to Reshape Your Nervous System

23:02 The Key to Somatic Manifestation

26:57 Anchoring in Your Adult Self

32:30 Trust Your Own Pacing

38:19 Embodying Your Purpose  

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Ready to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?” for a personalized guide and powerful somatic tools to help you gain control over your experience.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

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Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

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Important Keywords:

• Nervous System Regulation - The practice of bringing your system into safety in presence, which supports effective leadership, whether in business, parenting, or personal growth. Being in regulation allows for more creativity, clarity, and connection while reducing the reactive tendencies of stress and overwhelm.
• Ventral Vagal Complex - Your state of presence, safety, and connection where creativity, connection, and problem-solving thrive. It’s the optimal state for leadership and decision-making, allowing leaders to see possibilities and act with confidence.
• Co-Regulation - The process of connecting with another person in safety where each person's nervous system positively influences the others’. In leadership and parenting, co-regulation can set the tone for calm and productivity, creating a ripple effect in teams or families.
• Dysregulation - When your nervous system senses a threat (whether real or perceived), it sends you into dysregulation or active self-protection. Leading from this place can often result in stress, burnout, or stagnation.
• Capacity Building - Capacity building involves gradually increasing our ability to handle new or challenging situations. It’s about expanding the nervous system's tolerance and adaptability through small, intentional experiences of growth.

In this special New Year’s episode, Sarah invites listeners to reimagine the way they approach goals and resolutions. Kicking off the five-part Somatic Starter Kit series, Sarah dives into four reasons why traditional New Year’s resolutions often fail and offers transformative science-backed tools to use instead. You’ll learn how unresolved past experiences and traumas can keep you stuck in cycles of unmet goals.

Listeners will learn the importance of taking tolerable steps, building nervous system regulation, and fostering safe connection to support personal growth. Sarah also shares actionable insights on cultivating self-compassion, replacing coping strategies with healthier habits, and understanding the deeper desires that drive us. The episode is both a manual for self-discovery and a compassionate reminder that you make sense, just as you are.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

02:26 Reason 1: We Aren’t Addressing Our Nervous System

05:05 Do You Feel Like You’re Behind in Life?

07:03 Connecting to What You Truly Desire

09:41 Reason 2: Our Desires Often Have Flavorings of Past Danger

14:03 Reason 3: We Aren’t Addressing Our Parts

19:07 Reason 4: Lack of Support and Connection

24:19 Safe Support and Connection is Crucial

25:21 Take Tolerable Steps Towards Your Desires

30:17 Consistent Regulation of Your Nervous System 

31:37 Work at the Rate of Your Most Apprehensive Part

37:39 Relation Between Money and the Nervous System

46:00 What is a Coping Strategy?

53:54 How Do You Know Your Life’s Purpose?

01:01:36 Trying Something New Can Feel Overwhelming

Join the Navigating Your Nervous System Waitlist:

Want access to limited-time pricing for Sarah’s upcoming 6-week course? Make sure to get on the waitlist for Navigating Your Nervous System by January 5th to take advantage of the 24-hour only $100 off bonus.

https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

• Nervous System Regulation - This refers to practices that help balance the body's stress response, promoting a state of calm and safety. By regulating the nervous system, we can better handle challenges, make intentional choices, and build resilience in the face of discomfort or fear.
• Coping Strategies - These are habits or behaviors developed to manage discomfort or stress, often unconsciously. While they can serve as short-term relief, understanding and replacing maladaptive strategies with healthier alternatives promotes long-term well-being.
• Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on reconnecting with the body to release tension and process trauma. This approach integrates physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts to foster self-awareness and recovery.
• Parts Work - This therapeutic concept involves recognizing and addressing different "parts" or aspects of ourselves, often tied to past experiences or emotional wounds. By understanding and integrating these parts, we can move toward greater wholeness and self-compassion.
• Safe Connection - Safe connection refers to relationships where we feel seen, valued, and accepted without judgment. These connections are essential for emotional and nervous system regulation, providing a foundation for personal growth.
• Capacity Building - Capacity building involves gradually increasing our ability to handle new or challenging situations. It’s about expanding the nervous system's tolerance and adaptability through small, intentional experiences of growth.
• Dysregulation - Dysregulation occurs when the nervous system is stuck in states of fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown. It manifests as heightened anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or disconnection and requires mindful practices to return to a balanced state.

This episode dives into the ups and downs of healing and why it can sometimes feel like you’re moving backward instead of forward. Sarah breaks down how coming back into our bodies is a marker of progress — but that it can also feel overwhelming at first. Experiencing grief, anger, or other deep emotions can all be signs of the work you’ve done.

With real-life examples and simple, science-backed advice, Sarah shares how to move beyond just “knowing” about your patterns and into healing in a way that actually creates change. You’ll learn how to regulate your nervous system, work with your younger parts, and create space for more connection and joy.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:40 Why Healing Can Feel Like You’re Going Backward

05:34 Information Gathering is Not Enough

07:29 Why We Become Disembodied

11:03 Healing is the Hero’s Journey

15:31 Trauma & Energy Wells

21:33 What To Look For in a Therapist or Practitioner

31:20 Receiving & Working With Young Parts

38:00 Why Do We Experience Chronic Dysregulation?

42:56 Sarah’s Journey

 Join Sarah’s Email Community:

Looking for more FREE resources? Click below to join Sarah’s email community for additional teachings and somatic tools to support you on your healing journey.

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Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

• Nervous system - The nervous system is a self-protective system that determines your emotions, behaviors, and overall experience. It responds to safety, real threats, and perceived threats, influencing how you react and regulate in different situations.
• Regulation - We can only experience regulation when our nervous system believes we are safe. Our primary state of regulation is our Ventral Vagal Complex, where we experience things like joy, connection, presence, groundedness, and feeling “here.”
• Trauma - Trauma refers to overwhelming experiences that the body and mind were unable to process fully at the time they occurred. These unresolved energies get stuck and stored in the body, impacting mental and physical well-being until they are resolved.
• Healing - Healing is the journey of addressing past wounds—both physical and emotional—to achieve greater freedom and alignment in life. It involves learning to regulate the nervous system, release stored trauma, and tending to younger parts of ourselves.
• Dysregulation - Dysregulation occurs when the nervous system believes we are in danger, whether it is a real or perceived threat. Chronic dysregulation is often a result of unresolved trauma and can significantly impact daily functioning.
• Internal Safety - Creating safety within our bodies and nervous system is the foundation of healing. This is what we are working toward when we take steps to regulate our nervous system.

In this heartfelt episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the often-overlooked emotional complexities of the holiday season. While the holidays are often painted as a time of joy and togetherness, Sarah acknowledges the undercurrent of loneliness, grief, and stress that many experience. She unpacks how societal expectations and past experiences can amplify these emotions, offering relatable insights and actionable tools to help listeners navigate this season with more ease.

Sarah delves into the somatic roots of grief and loneliness, using Parts Work to differentiate between our adult self and younger parts. From tending to these younger parts to finding solace in music, nature, and intentional connection, this episode offers a blueprint for transforming holiday challenges into opportunities for healing and self-discovery.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

02:09 Reasons the Holidays Can Be Challenging

06:58 Connecting to the Unmet Need

09:05 Why We Struggle to Process Grief

13:34 Step 1: Grief is Best Processed Through Connection

15:06 Step 2: What Parts of You Are Struggling?

15:45 Step 3: Focus on Nourishing Yourself

17:03 Step 4: Connection

19:42 Identify Which Part of You is Feeling Sad

30:46 How to Process Death and Loss

39:50 Coupling Dynamics & the Holidays

49:42 “Why Do I Drink More Around My Family?”

  Join the Navigating Your Nervous System Waitlist:

Want access to limited-time pricing for Sarah’s upcoming 6-week course? Make sure to get on the waitlist for Navigating Your Nervous System by January 5th to take advantage of the 24-hour only $100 off bonus.

https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

• Loneliness - Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected or isolated from others, often heightened during the holidays when societal messages emphasize togetherness. Sarah highlights how loneliness can stem from unmet needs, relational trauma, or past experiences and encourages using somatic tools and Parts Work to address it.
• Grief - Grief is the emotional response to loss, encompassing not only what happened but also what never was. Sarah explains how grief surfaces when we feel safe enough to process it and encourages gentle, titrated processing of these emotions to create space for healing and growth.
• Connection - Connection is a fundamental human need that fosters a sense of belonging and emotional safety. Sarah emphasizes the importance of cultivating meaningful connections with others, nature, and ourselves, as these relationships are key to navigating emotional challenges.
• Parts work - Parts work is a therapeutic approach that acknowledges and tends to different aspects of the self, particularly younger parts carrying past wounds. Sarah discusses how identifying and comforting these parts can bring clarity and healing during emotionally challenging times.
• Regulation - Regulation is the process of bringing the nervous system into safety and balance, allowing us to respond to situations from a calm, grounded place. Sarah suggests somatic practices such as mindfulness, movement, and connection to achieve regulation and build emotional resilience.
• Healing - Healing is the process of addressing past traumas, unmet needs, and emotional pain to create space for growth and well-being. Sarah frames healing as an ongoing journey of self-compassion, connection, and transformation, particularly relevant during challenging emotional periods.

Do you find romantic partnerships challenging, confusing, or overwhelming? Sarah is going to walk you through what is necessary to heal your attachment wounds and come toward more secure, healthy relationships. Although it might seem counterintuitive, the kind of connection we’re desiring often doesn’t “feel good” at first. In fact, our first experience of a secure attachment can range from being boring — to completely terrifying.

The good news is that this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is wrong for you! In this episode, you’ll learn the neuroscience behind why healthy love can initially feel overwhelming or unexciting. But the more that we step toward safe connection, the deeper and more intimate our relationships become, giving us a container where we can truly be seen, known, and chosen.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:01 Earned Secure Attachment

06:12 The Good Doesn’t Feel Good at First

08:45 Why A Secure Attachment Can Feel Boring

10:08 Love from Choice vs Love from Survival

16:33 Why A Secure Attachment Can Feel Terrifying

24:00 Leaning into a Secure Attachment

29:40 “Why Do I Feel Like I’m Going Backwards?”

30:52 Building Capacity for Vulnerability and Exposure

35:06 The Beautiful Orphaned Parts of Us

39:43 How to Know if the Lack of Attraction is Normal

46:37 Regret Is an Opportunity for Self-Compassion & Learning

52:01 Perceived Threats in Relationships

01:06:01 Even with Loving Parents, Relationships Can Be Hard   

Grab Sarah’s FREE Workbook:

Ready to gain control over your life? Click below to download Sarah’s free trauma-informed workbook. This in-depth guide will help you to harness the power of your nervous system and unlock your desires.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

• Secure Attachment - A safe, stable way of attaching and relating to others in our relationships that forms in our early childhood from having caregivers who could consistently meet our needs for love, safety, attunement, and connection.
• Earned Secure Attachment - A secure attachment that develops through intentional self-work and healing from past patterns. It reflects personal growth and the ability to attract healthier relationships by creating internal safety for yourself and your younger parts.
• Neuroception - Your body's internal threat detector that is constantly assessing whether you’re in safety, danger, or life-threatening danger. It decides this by looking to a database of past information that holds all your lived experiences.
• Parts Work - A therapeutic process that involves connecting with and healing younger parts of yourself that hold onto past wounds. It’s a core tool for building internal safety and reshaping how you show up in relationships.
• Trauma Bond - A strong emotional connection formed through cycles of highs and lows in an unstable relationship. Often mistaken for love, trauma bonds are rooted in survival instincts and unresolved past pain.
• Protective Parts - Younger parts that learned to keep you from past emotional harm by creating walls, avoidance, control, or sabotage. Even if the past is over, these well-intentioned parts can keep you from fully engaging in healthy relationships.
• Capacity Building - The process of gradually expanding your emotional tolerance for safety, love, and connection. It involves learning to sit with discomfort as you adjust to the steady, healthy love you’ve always wanted.