Rediscovering Play for More Secure Connections with Children – and Adults (256)

28 januari 2025 | 71 min

Just released! “The Way of Play” – Book by Dr. Georgie Wisen-Vincent & Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, we recommend you get your copy today!

Could the key to raising resilient, connected kids be as simple as play?

Co-host Sue Marriott, with special guests, Tina Payne Bryson and Georgie Wisen-Vincent, discuss the relational neuroscience behind the powerful role of play in child development and its therapeutic benefits. Play fosters emotional resilience, strengthens parent-child attachment, and supports positive neuroplasticity. They bring in positive neuroplasticity, emotional discomfort and tons of very practical techniques.

Learn how embracing play can nurture emotional growth and empower both children and parents in meaningful ways.

“The oldest evolutionary pathways in the brain are nonverbal. Your actions always speak louder than words when it comes to your child’s mind.” – George Wisen-Vincent

Time Stamps for Playful Parenting: Building Resilience, Connection, and Joy Through Play (256)

03:08 The role of play in child development
08:57 Understanding resistance to play
14:50 The science behind play and attachment
21:12 Overcoming barriers to play
24:07 Practical techniques for parents
39:40 The importance of emotional discomfort
41:35 Over-functioning vs. scaffolding
58:31 Positive neuroplasticity through play

About our Guests

Georgie Wisen-Vincent, LMFT, RPT-S, ECMHS is a nationally recognized play therapy expert and co-author of the new book — THE WAY OF PLAY (Penguin Random House, January 2025). She is the Founder/Director of The Play Strong Institute, a center devoted to the study, research, and practice of play therapy through a neurodevelopment lens, along with Dr. Bryson, the Founder/Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice in Southern California. Georgie is also a child, adolescent, and family psychotherapist and maintains a private practice at The Center for Connection. A graduate professor at Santa Clara University and active researcher in childhood play, attachment science, and mental health, Georgie has been commissioned as a consultant, program designer, and lead trainer for several major organizations and frequently presents to educators, parents, and clinical professionals on play therapy, trauma resilience, and the power of play-driven learning. She completed advanced study in play therapy at the University of Roehampton, London. Georgie gained specialist endorsement in early childhood mental health after completing the UC Davis Napa Infant Mental Health Fellowship. She is currently in the final phase of her doctoral program, a PhD in Infant and Early Child Development, focused on neurodiversity and parent-child attachment relationships. Click here to view her more detailed bio.

You may already know Dr. Tina Payne Bryson from her two New York Times Best Sellers The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. They’re both co-authored with Dan Siegel and have been translated into over fifty languages. She and Siegel also wrote The Yes Brain and The Power of Showing Up, and Dr. Bryson is the author of The Bottom Line for Baby. Her new book, co-authored with Georgie Wisen-Vincent, is The Way of Play. Her books have sold over 3 million copies combined. Tina is also the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary mental health practice in Southern California. She keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world. She also consults with schools, businesses, and other organizations, including the Nike Sport Research Lab (NSRL), where she is Project Director for Mental and Emotional Performance. Dr. Bryson earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. The most important part of her bio, she says, is that she’s a mom to her three boys. You can learn more about her at TinaBryson.com.

Resources for Playful Parenting: Building Resilience, Connection, and Joy Through Play (256)

PlayStrongInstitute.com – Official website for information and resources

Center for Connection – Official website for information and resources

Pre-Order the bonus page for their book – Click here!

Tina’s Amazon shop page – Click here for books, resources and other tools

Click to access Tina Payne Bryson’s Social Channels – Facebook, Instagram, Youtube & Twitter

Georgie’s Instagram handle – @georgiewisenvincent

TinaBryson.com – Website for information and resources

Click here to subscribe to Tina Payne Bryson’s newsletter

How to contact Tina – Email [email protected]

How to contact Georgie – Email [email protected]

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Psychotherapy Networker Symposium – March 20-23, 2025

Rethinking Attachment – Using the Attachment Spectrum in Clinical Practice

Learn More & Register Here

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Right now, you can get 20% off plus a FREE starter kit when you shop exclusively Piquelife.com/tu

Cure is offering 20% off your first order! Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com/TU and using promo code TU at checkout.

Compare high quality, in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Family Estrangement, Spiritual Harm & the Ethics of AI in Therapy with Matthias Barker (255)

14 januari 2025 | 61 min

Hello 2025! Kicking off the year exploring family estrangement, AI in therapy & much more…

Ann and Sue interview psychotherapist Matthias Barker, unpacking how he uses his platform of 11 million + to deliver mental health care responsibly. They explore the complexities of parent-child estrangement and the often-overlooked generational gaps that shape how families navigate conflict. Matthias delves in to the deep wounds that spiritual harm can leave, and the conversation expands into broader themes of spirituality & the emerging presence of AI. This wide-ranging conversation also addresses the ethical challenges of the technology and creating meaningful change, whether in family dynamics or the future of mental health care.

In this compelling episode, hosts Ann and Sue sit down with renowned psychotherapist Matthias Barker, who has built a transformative mental health platform reaching over 11 million people. The conversation weaves through several profound themes: the delicate balance of delivering mental health guidance through social media, the complex terrain of parent-child estrangement in modern families, and the lasting impact of religious trauma.

Barker offers unique insights into how generational differences shape family conflicts and healing processes, drawing from his extensive clinical experience. The discussion evolves into an exploration of spirituality in the digital age, including thought-provoking perspectives on artificial intelligence’s role in shaping human consciousness and connection.

They tackle pressing questions about technological ethics, particularly in mental healthcare delivery, while examining how meaningful change occurs—whether in healing fractured family relationships or adapting therapeutic practices for an increasingly digital world. This nuanced conversation bridges practical psychological insights with broader questions about human connection in an evolving technological landscape.

“We inherit more than genetics from our families—we inherit patterns, beliefs, and ways of relating. Healing means choosing which ones to keep and which ones to let go of.” – Matthias Barker

Time Stamps for Family Estrangement, Spiritual Harm, & the Ethics of AI in Therapy with Matthias Barker (255)

05:54 Generational perspectives on estrangement
12:10 Understanding emotional dynamics in families
18:12 Spiritual harm and its impact
34:55 The intersection of technology and mental health
45:08 Exploring ethical dilemmas of AI in therapy

About our Guest – Matthias Barker

Matthias is a psychotherapist recognized for his expertise in making complex mental health concepts accessible, with a special focus on parent-child estrangement. He is the CEO of the Trauma Institute which provides clinical training for psychotherapists and education for the general public on healing from trauma. Matthias is widely recognized for his unique approach to making mental health knowledge and skills accessible to the wider public. His ability to translate complex topics into relatable everyday language has empowered millions to heal from their past, repair relationships, and take control of their mental well-being. Through platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and his top-ranking Spotify podcast, Matthias delivers psychoeducational content to a following of over 4 million people. His innovative blend of engaging content and relevant mental health advice has fostered a vibrant online community centered on healing, personal growth, and moving towards what’s meaningful despite hardship. Aside from his online presence, Matthias is an accomplished author and educator. He has self-published several short books and interactive mental health journals, offering a distinctive trauma-informed approach to topics like grief, motivation, burnout, and gratitude. In addition, he has built a diverse library of interactive general public workshops on themes such as anxiety, relational intimacy, and healing from trauma, further establishing his commitment to sharing knowledge and resources for both clinicians and the general public.

Resources for Family Estrangement, Spiritual Harm, & the Ethics of AI in Therapy with Matthias Barker (255)

Estrangement.com – Sign up here for The Healing Estrangement

MatthiasJBarker.com – Matthias’ website, with resources and other information

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Psychotherapy Networker Symposium – March 20-23, 2025

Rethinking Attachment – Using the Attachment Spectrum in Clinical Practice

Learn More & Register Here

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Listeners get 20% off plus a free starter kit. Piquelife.com/tu

Ancient Nutrition is offering 25% off your first order when you go to
AncientNutrition.com/TU

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

2024 Reflections: Growth, Connection & Celebrating Community (254)

31 december 2024 | 55 min

Embodied Dying: Embracing the Sacred Union Between Life & Death (253)

17 december 2024 | 51 min

Explore eco-village living, tantra, and death

Lee Warren shares her experience of living in an intentional community and how it opened the door to exploring tantra and the sacredness of death. Alongside co-host Sue Marriott, they explore tantra as a way to connect with the divine within ourselves and others, using tools like breath, sound, and movement to navigate the energy in our bodies. They also discuss death as a sacred process and the importance of preparing for it—both practically and spiritually. Learn how tantra and death preparation share a common goal: helping us embrace the impermanence of life and find joy in the present moment.

“The deep practice of tantra helps consciously engage with the inevitability of death.” – Lee Warren

Time Stamps

00:00 Exploring Eco-Village Living and Intentional Community
08:23 The Mysteries of Tantra: Cultivating pleasure and sensuality
16:36 Embracing the sacredness of death
21:10 Preparing for death: A journey of self-discovery
31:32 Having hard conversations with family
38:57 Exploring the mystical with psychedelics

About Our Guest – Lee Warren, Death & Tantra Educator

Lee Warren, founder of Reclaiming Wisdom, helps people embrace life more fully by preparing for death. She sees life and death as inseparable partners, guiding individuals to transform fear into acceptance and empowerment through heartfelt conversations, mindfulness practices, rituals, and personalized care plans. As a mystic, Lee views death as a sacred portal for the soul, and as an embodiment practitioner, she supports the emotional and practical realities of the dying process. Lee believes that contemplating mortality deepens our connection to life, fostering awe, wonder, and a profound sense of purpose. Lee’s mission is to help others achieve clarity and peace about end-of-life wishes while embracing the sacredness of existence and the mystery of the human journey.

Resources for Embracing the Sacredness of Death

ReclaimingWisdom.com – Lee Warren’s website & course information

“Tilda Swinton Would Like a Word with Trump about His Mother” – NYTimes Article

“The Doctor Who Helped Me Understand My Mom’s Choice to Die” – NYTime Article

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Psychotherapy Networker Symposium – March 20-23, 2025

Rethinking Attachment – Using the Attachment Spectrum in Clinical Practice

Learn More & Register Here

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Our favorite skin quencher. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code TU at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod

Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Listeners get 20% off plus a free starter kit. Piquelife.com/tu

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

The Power of Acceptance & Commitment (ACT Therapy) with Dr. Diana Hill (252)

3 december 2024 | 62 min

Transform conflict into connection with ACT

Dr. Diana Hill and co-host Dr. Ann Kelley explore the power of process-based therapy to improve relationships and wellbeing. Through various methods like the 6 principles of ACT, the understanding of values, and the family body analogy, they use their personal and professional experience to discuss ways to help resolve conflict and find deeper connection through secure relating. Learn ways to tap into your most deeply connected self to move forward through life’s challenges and nurture healthy relationships.

“We don’t battle thoughts. We don’t challenge thoughts. We just let thoughts go, and we can act independently from our thoughts.” – Dr. Diana Hill

Time Stamps for ACT

1:06 – What is ACT?

8:52 – Introduction to cognitive diffusion

10:45 – Exploring the transcendent self and family body analogy of ACT

12:09 – The six processes of ACT

20:54 – Utilizing Diana’s daily journal book method

26:53 – Navigating experiential avoidance

33:57 – Moving through acceptance

50:52 – How to learn more about the ACT principles

About our Guest – Dr. Diana Hill

Diana Hill, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, and co-author of ACT Daily Commitment Therapy Journal: Get unstuck and live full with Acceptance. She is also a co-host of the popular podcast, Psychologists Off the Clock which has over 1 million downloads, where she has interviewed leaders in the field of psychology, mindfulness, and wellness including Dr. Daniel Goleman, Dr. Rich Hanson, The Psychology of Radical Healing Collective, Dr. Daniel Siegel, and Dr. David Sinclair. She is a regular teacher for the Mindful Hearts Program and Insight LA. Through her online teachings, executive coaching, clinical supervision, and private therapy practice Diana encourages clients to build psychological flexibility so that they can live more meaningful and fulfilling lives.

Resources for ACT

Dr. Diana Hill – Website & resources

ACT Daily Journal & Card Deck – Dr. Hill’s daily journal book

Psychologists Off the Clock – Dr. Diana Hill’s podcast

The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink – Referenced by Diana Hill when discussing values

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Compare high quality, in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment.

Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code TU.

Our favorite skin quencher. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code TU at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

AEDP Therapy: Engaging with Emotions & Experiences with Dr. Diana Fosha (251)

19 november 2024 | 60 min

Let’s talk about all things AEDP

Sue Marriott and Diana Fosha explore the key principles of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) and its transformative impact on the field. AEDP begins with the premise of “healing from the get-go,” and fostering change from the first session. It emphasizes “undoing aloneness” by building a supportive therapeutic relationship, while encouraging clients to engage deeply with emotions. Join us as we highlight techniques like metatherapeutic processing, where clients reflect on their healing experience, and integrating neuroscience into clinical practice.

“The basic quality of emergent experience is a surrender to the experience of flow, of being in the zone.”

– Dr. Diana Fosha

Looking for extra community and connection post-election? Join us for our second free, live virtual holding circle on Friday, November 22nd at 3 PM CST – Click here to learn more

Time Stamps for AEDP

02:55 The importance of healing from the get-go
06:06 Understanding “Undoing aloneness”
28:34 Dropping down into the body and connecting with emotions
33:28 Explanation and application of Metatherapeutic processing
35:28 Creating a safe and transformative relationship with clients
51:20 The societal impact of AEDP

About our Guest – Dr. Diana Fosha

Diana Fosha PhD is the developer of AEDPTM, a healing-oriented, radically relational experiential psychotherapy to transform trauma, heal attachment wounds and help people connect to their vitality. She is Founder and Director of the AEDP Institute. Her “heightened sensitivity to the promises of life” recognized, she has been also described as having “an extraordinary gift for hope.” For the last 20 years, Diana has been active in promoting a scientific basis for a healing-oriented, attachment-emotion- and transformation-focused trauma treatment model. Fosha’s work focuses on integrating neuroplasticity, recognition science and developmental dyadic research into experiential and transformational clinical work with patients. Her most recent work, Undoing aloneness and the transformation of suffering into flourishing: AEDP 2.0, (APA, 2021), focuses on flourishing as a seamless part of the process of transforming emotional suffering. She is the author of The transforming power of affect: A model for accelerated change (Basic Books, 2000); co-author, with Natasha Prenn, of Supervision essentials for Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (APA, 2016); 1st editor, with Daniel Siegel and Marion Solomon, of The healing power of emotion: Affective neuroscience, development & clinical practice (Norton, 2009), and editor of the soon to be released AEDP 2.0: Four DVDs of her live AEDP clinical work, including one documenting a complete 6-session treatment, and one on clinical supervision have been issued by the American Psychological Association (APA). Described by psychoanalyst James Grotstein as a “prizefighter of intimacy,” and by David Malan as “the Winnicott of [accelerated experiential] psychotherapy,” Diana Fosha’s writing style is powerful and precise, yet poetic and evocative. Her phrases —“undoing aloneness,” “existing in the heart and mind of the other,” “rigor without shame” and “True Other” — capture the ethos of AEDP.

Resources for AEDP

www.aedpinstitute.org – View some of Dr. Fosha’s papers here

Metatherapeutic Processing Supports the Emergence of Flourishing in Psychotherapy – by Dr. Diana Fosha

How to be a Transformational Therapist – by Dr. Diana Fosha

Speculations on Emergence: Working the Edge of Transformational Experience and Neuroplasticity – by Dr. Diana Fosha

Healing Attachment Trauma with Attachment (& then some!) – by Dr. Diana Fosha

Click here to learn more!!

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Psychotherapy Networker Symposium – March 20-23, 2025

Rethinking Attachment – Using the Attachment Spectrum in Clinical Practice

Learn More & Register Here

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Listeners get 20% off plus a free starter kit. Piquelife.com/tu

Our favorite skin quencher. Use the code TU when you checkout at oneskin.co

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Understanding Post-Election Distress – with Michael Hilgers (straight white guy) (250)

9 november 2024 | 45 min

Many are baffled by the so strong feelings around the 2024 election results – let us help you get it.

Families are dividing, couples are blowing up and neighbors are being cut off. When you are close to someone who didn’t vote with you this year, you are likley in some distress. The shock and pain for some groups after the election and the corresponding lack of understanding is a recipe for dysregulation.

We explore the complexities of political identity, emotional responses, and the impact of political discourse on all of our personal relationships in the wake of a divisive presidential election. Ann and Sue, alongside Michael Hilgers, LPC, emphasize the need for deeper conversations that transcend binary thinking and the significance of co-regulation in healing and fostering unity amidst division. They explore the challenges of navigating relationships where political views differ, emphasizing the value of patience, compassion, and open curiosity to foster understanding.

The conversation touches on the risks of lasting family divides and underscores the importance of creating safe, respectful spaces for meaningful conversations. Ultimately, it encourages empathy and small, thoughtful steps toward more compassionate communication.

“We all play a role in this democracy. We need to remember the power of every vote. I continue, too, to keep myself connected to a force that’s larger and more potent than any one election, or leader, or news story—and that’s optimism. For me, this is a form of faith, an antidote to fear.” – Michelle Obama

Looking for extra community and connection post-election? Join us for our second free, live virtual holding circle on Friday, November 22nd at 3 PM CST – Click here to learn more

Time Stamps for Aftermath of the Election

00:00 Navigating identity
02:52 The aftermath of the 2024 Presidential election based on gender
06:09 Understanding huge emotional responses for those who care
08:56 The difficulty of empathy and connection when stakes are high
15:01 Co-regulation
17:54 The role of historical trauma in reactions to current events
20:56 Is common ground possible?
25:32 Betrayal
27:09 Listening and holding space rather than fixing it
29:31 Patience in difficult conversations
30:35 Political divides in relationships
32:00 The risk of permanent divisions
39:18 Concrete steps for compassionate communication
42:08 Addressing name-calling and intentional humiliation

About our Guest – Michael Hilgers, LPC

Michael Hilgers, LPC is a licensed Professional Counselor who maintains an online Counseling Practice specializing in work with Creatives and Entrepreneurs. After almost 25 years in Austin, Tx, he moved to the mountains of Northern New Mexico where he works with clients from around the globe.

Check out the most anticipated conference for Experiential Dynamic Therapists!! San Diego, CA – November 13th-15th – IEDTA’s 2024 conference highlights the power of the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy. Register here!

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Secure Relating & the Election: Fostering Connection in Political Division (249)

4 november 2024 | 54 min

The election tension can be divisive – but we don’t have to be

The political events in the United States have been a major contributor to our anxieties these past years, and with our significant presidential election looming over us this week – Ann and Sue are here to talk about the hard things. While the world feels unpredictable on the outside, one thing we can do is focus on the intricate relationship between our nervous systems and the emotional responses triggered by political events. They discuss how fear and anxiety are often manipulated through political rhetoric, leading to division and polarization, the importance of understanding how personal relationships amidst these tensions are emphasized, and the need for secure relating and accountability from leaders. There is power in recognizing the complexity of political opinions and the necessity of maintaining open dialogue to foster connection rather than division. Join us as we explore how to navigate differences, the importance of empathy and community, and the need for resilience during uncertain times.

“We are resilient beings and we will get through this.”

Time Stamps for Secure Relating & the Election

00:00 Understanding the Nervous System’s Role in Fear
03:00 The Impact of Political Rhetoric on Our Emotions
05:56 Navigating Personal Relationships Amidst Political Divisions
09:06 The Complexity of Political Opinions
11:57 The Importance of Secure Relating in Divided Times
14:52 Holding Leaders Accountable in a Polarized Environment
25:49 The Importance of Secure Relating
30:02 Navigating Division and Conflict
36:32 Finding Resilience in Uncertain Times
41:20 Empathy and Community in Crisis
46:36 Promoting Secure Relating for a Better Future

Resources for Secure Relating & the Election

A Started Guide for Surviving Election Season” – Important reminders from Oh Happy Dani, the Everyday Advocate

Vote.org – Nonpartisan tool for voting logistics and information

“8 Questions that can help you survive election stress” – Helpful resource from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine

Somatic Techniques for Stress & Anxiety – Somatic practices from Brooklyn Somatic Therapy

Check out the most anticipated conference for Experiential Dynamic Therapists!! San Diego, CA – November 13th-15th – IEDTA’s 2024 conference highlights the power of the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy. Register here!

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Compare high quality, in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment.

Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code TU.

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

LIVE from KUYA Wellness: A Discussion on Secure Relating & Tough Conversations (248)

22 oktober 2024 | 74 min

Our first ever LIVE podcast recording

Alongside Pam Benson Owens, Ann and Sue explore a variety of topics with a live audience at the KUYA Wellness center in Austin, TX. Referencing their book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World, they delve into the neuroscience behind relationships, discussing attachment styles and emotional regulation, and emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue. They highlight the significance of understanding generational trauma and the complexities of navigating relationships in a diverse society. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they shine a light on the power of self-awareness, encouraging listeners to explore their own emotional landscapes with compassion and curiosity. Learn how creating safe spaces for open dialogue can deepen connections, while understanding the role of pauses and curiosity in everyday conversations.

“The power of the pause is essential.” – Pam Benson Owens

Time Stamps for KUYA

07:05 Understanding Neuroscience in Relationships
20:28 Navigating Emotional States and Attachment
30:00 Creating Safe Spaces in Conversations
34:51 Navigating Activation and Agency
39:41 The Role of Shame in Learning
44:14 The Power of the Pause and Curiosity
49:36 Strategic Communication in Relationships
54:43 Repression vs. Calibration of Emotions
01:00:17 Cultural Norms and DEI Conversations
01:03:05 Boundaries in Relationships
01:05:20 Generational Trauma and Cultural Clashes

About our Guest – Pam Benson Owens, President & CEO

Pamela Benson Owens is the President and CEO of Edge of Your Seat Consulting, Inc and is also serving as the CEO of Six Square. For 25+ years Pam has owned Edge of Your Seat Consulting, a unique consulting firm that is dedicated to assisting for-profit, nonprofit, and faith-based entities. The major focus of Edge of Your Seat Consulting, Inc., is to provide methodologies that help manage perceptions and narratives about complex and challenging issues with courage and strategic passion. Pam leverages humor and honest storytelling to create memorable and applicable strategies for sustainable and substantive change. Pam serves on several non-profit boards, is the co-chair of the Black Fund a partnership with Austin Community Foundation, joyfully serves on the faculty of the Center for Nonprofit Excellence at Austin Community College, is often a guest lecturer at institutions of higher learning and thrives on the opportunities her consultancy work paves the way to assist organizations to be stronger by navigating the nuances of organizational culture.

Resources for KUYA

Click here to view Pam’s website – Edge of Your Seat Consulting

KUYA – Mental Health & Wellness Center in Austin, TX & host of our recording

Practices – Register now for the Holistic Attachment Summit!! – This summit will explore the most essential ideas in attachment theory, research, and how they can be applied to create deep and lasting healing for clients — enabling you to be at the forefront of evidence-based care. Click here to register!!

Check out the most anticipated conference for Experiential Dynamic Therapists!! San Diego, CA – November 13th-15th – IEDTA’s 2024 conference highlights the power of the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy. Register here!

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

Our favorite skin quencher. Use the code TU when you checkout at oneskin.co

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

New Frontiers of Adult ADHD James Ochoa (247)

8 oktober 2024 | 57 min

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in adults

James Ochoa and co-host Sue Marriott explore the different subtypes of ADHD, and the impact on adults who are navigating a diagnosis later in life. As an ADHD expert, Ochoa shares insights on the emotional and mental stress that accompanies ADHD, as well as provides different techniques for managing symptoms. With an emphasis on the importance of self-care, communication, and personalized strategies, he provides resources and training for adults with ADHD, professionals who work with ADHD clients, and family members of individuals with ADHD.

“…It feels like their attachment to themselves has always seemed off, and when they receive an accurate diagnosis then suddenly there’s these lights that turn on…” – James Ochoa

Time Stamps for New Frontiers of Adult ADHD

02:05 Stumbling Upon an Adult ADHD Diagnosis
04:40 Understanding the Subtypes of ADHD
08:06 Resourcing and Self-Care for ADHD
10:04 Managing ADHD Symptoms: Breathing Exercises and Micro-Meditations
15:32 Interrupting Over-activation and Panic in ADHD
26:55 Managing ADHD: Strategies and Self-Care
31:17 Supporting Loved Ones with ADHD
35:37 Educating Professionals on ADHD
43:49 Resources and Training for ADHD

About our Guest – James Ochoa

For over thirty years, James Ochoa, LPC, has combined counseling, coaching, mentoring, and intuition to help adults with ADHD overcome challenges, pursue passions, and live meaningful lives. Most of his clients seek help beyond ADHD organization and time-management strategies. As valuable as those skills can be, James’ key concepts involve working with his clients’ imagination, life history and inner resources. His insight-and-action-based counseling style has helped clients from all walks of life, including executives, indie film producers, college students, religious leaders and beyond. He welcomes individuals, couples, and family members, whether from Austin, Texas, or points beyond. James is also working on his second book, When the Shiny Wears Off, Navigating the Lifetime Storms of Adult ADHD, which focuses on how to handle the chronic stress of ADHD that never completely stops wreaking havoc. The book will offer ample strategies to help mitigate the impact this disruption has on relationships, career, self-care, and mental health.

Resources for New Frontiers of Adult ADHD

Living Well With ADHD – 10/19 live, in-person training in Austin, TX – This is a great resource for ADHD awareness month that is happening the entire month of October! (Use code TU30OFF for 30% off)

JamesOchoa.com – James’s Website

Focused Forward – James’s Book

ADHD Town Hall – Webinar Series

Storm Team – 12 -Topic ADHD series

Professional Trailblazing – Training for Professionals

Focused Forward – James Ochoa’s Book – Get your copy here!!

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links

Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information

Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!

Mind, Body, Social, & Spiritual Approaches for Healing Attachment: 30 World-Leading Pioneers Share Their Best Practices – Register now for the Holistic Attachment Summit!! – This summit will explore the most essential ideas in attachment theory, research, and how they can be applied to create deep and lasting healing for clients — enabling you to be at the forefront of evidence-based care. Click here to register!!

Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!

Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Compare high quality, in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment.

Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code TU.

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS): (246)

25 september 2024 | 55 min

Liberating Marginalized Couples from Relational and Systemic Trauma with Akilah Riley-Richardson (245)

10 september 2024 | 57 min

Therapeutic Psychedelics: Discernment, Science, and the Need for Theory with Nigel Denning (244)

27 augusti 2024 | 60 min

Improv: Fostering Connection in Challenging Conversations (243)

13 augusti 2024 | 76 min

Protection or Connection? Neural Pathways & Regulation Basics – Replay (242)

30 juli 2024 | 46 min

Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity & Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant Hyeseung Song (241)

16 juli 2024 | 71 min

Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall – Replay (240)

2 juli 2024 | 48 min

Episode Swap: Secure Relating with Ann & Sue on The Baffling Behavior Show (239)

18 juni 2024 | 63 min

Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (Replay) – (238)

3 juni 2024 | min

Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community with Ann & Sue 3 of 3 (237)

21 maj 2024 | 29 min

Shifting Activation Levels: Part II of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (236)

7 maj 2024 | 26 min

Holding Your Own – Behind the Scenes and Part I of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (235)

30 april 2024 | 52 min

Integrative Attachment Therapy with Dr. David Elliott (234)

24 april 2024 | 58 min

Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)

16 april 2024 | 47 min

The Neuroscience Behind Our Collective Dysregulation: Navigating Today’s Social Crisis (232)

9 april 2024 | 62 min

Hypnosis for Healing: Understanding the Powerful Science with Dr. David Spiegel (231)

2 april 2024 | 65 min

Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit: Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena Young (230)

26 mars 2024 | 66 min

Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore (229)

19 mars 2024 | 56 min

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 2, Episode 228)

12 mars 2024 | 38 min

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 1, Episode 227)

8 mars 2024 | 41 min

Love Letter To Group Psychotherapy (Replay – Episode 226)

27 februari 2024 | 12 min

Love Letter to Group Psychotherapy While Ann and Sue are in DC at the American Group Psychotherapy Association Conference, we thought this was the perfect opportunity to replay one of our favorite episodes. Co-hosts Sue Marriott and Patty Olwell interview colleagues at the American Group Psychotherapy 2016 Association Annual Meeting in New York. They talk about why they love group therapy and why it is so valuable to their clients. We want to thank our interviewees for their help and insights. Interviewees for this Episode... Tammy Brown – Austin TX tammybrowntherapy.com Jamie Moran – San Francisco CA jamiemoran.com Rita Drapkin – Indiana University of Pennsylvania (724)357-2621 Pierre Choucroun – Austin TX Pierre M Choucroun on Psychology Today Kelly Inselmann – Austin TX kellyinselmann.com Liz Rosenblatt – Los Angeles CA Dr Elizabeth Rosenblatt on LAGPA RESOURCES: Additional resources for this episode: Austin Group Psychotherapy Society: Organization that promotes group therapy and provides training for clinicians American Group Psychotherapy Association: National organization that promotes group therapy as a cost effective and clinical valuable treatment. Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy Scott Rutan Walter Stone and Joseph Shay. These are masters of group. An excellent text for therapists and others eager to learn about group. You can trust these authors And of course, our book is also a great resource - it's for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you've read it we'd love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!! Click here to see our past and upcoming events!! Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists. We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons - joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!

A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)

13 februari 2024 | 70 min

How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Juliane Taylor Shore – REPLAY (224)

30 januari 2024 | 54 min

Believing Chronic Fatigue – Living with Long Covid, ME/CFS (Myalgic Encepholomyelitis) and Hard to Diagnose Chronic Illnesses (223)

16 januari 2024 | 46 min

Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes (222)

2 januari 2024 | 82 min

TU 2023 Year in Review: Building Internalized Secure Voices (221)

19 december 2023 | 47 min

Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell – Replay – (220)

5 december 2023 | 60 min

Ditching Invulnerability: Embracing Our Most Authentic Selves (219)

21 november 2023 | 50 min

Cultivating Secure Relating – TU Updates & Book Sneak Peeks with Ann & Sue (218)

7 november 2023 | 48 min

The Amygdala Unpacked with Dr. Joseph LeDoux – Replay (217)

24 oktober 2023 | 48 min

Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell – Replay (216)

10 oktober 2023 | 68 min

Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert – Replay (215)

26 september 2023 | 69 min

Internal Family Systems (IFS), Neuroplasticity and Attachment with Dr. Frank Anderson – REPLAY (214)

12 september 2023 | 68 min

Clarity, Healing & Purpose is Less Than a Minute Away, the Power of Awe with Jake Eagle (213)

28 augusti 2023 | 53 min

In Each Other’s Care: Building & Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin (212)

16 augusti 2023 | 52 min

You Are Kenough: Liz Plank joins to unpack the Barbie Movie, Secure Relating, Gender Roles & Patriarchy (211) Bonus Episode

8 augusti 2023 | 58 min

Working with Attachment Trauma Using Lessons from the AAP, Failed Mourning, Disorganized/Dysregulated Attachment with Dr. Carol George (210)

1 augusti 2023 | 73 min

Back to Basics: Understanding All Things Attachment with Ann & Sue (209)

18 juli 2023 | 40 min

Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue (208)

4 juli 2023 | 41 min

Awe: A Powerful Tool for Collective Healing with Dr. Dacher Keltner (Series SRIW, Ep 6, 207)

20 juni 2023 | 46 min

The neuroscience of awe as an antidote to our stress response system In this series, Secure Relating in an Insecure World, we've covered tough topics head-on. It is, therefore, fitting that we close the series with something scientifically hopeful to help us stay in our secure selves so we can stay engaged and active as social advocates and not collapse in overwhelm. The science of this specific feeling of awe has garnered much attention for good reason. Our guest today has spent decades exploring the sensation and documenting how to develop it in everyday life. We have all experienced these small moments that allow us to shift our mindset away from ourselves and into something so bigger. Co-hosts Sue Marriott and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the power of awe with guest expert Dr. Dacher Keltner where they explore the science, the mystical and the hope of awe as an inspirational tool for collective healing. "You can be outdoors by yourself, you can be listening to an amazing passage of music, you can think about somebodywhose life really inspires you. You have this urge to connect, to be part of community, to be good to other people, to share with other people, to make the world and your community a little bit better - that tells us something fundamental about the DNA of Awe." - Dr. Dacher Keltner Time Stamps for Awe 2:15 - What is awe? 3:31 - Physiology during moments of awe 8:21 - One of Dr. Keltner's most striking discoveries about awe 8:57 - Understanding everyday awe 10:11 - The role of curiosity in awe 13:31 - The power of music 14:27 - The 8 wonders that bring us awe 21:20 - Collective effervescence 25:38 - Alan Cowen & Dacher Keltner's experiential maps 27:36 - Awe in animals 32:16 - How awe can sometimes lead you astray 40:17 - Using awe as a tool for younger generations Resources for today's episode on the feeling of "awe" DacherKeltner.com - Personal website full of research, books, videos, and other resources Greater Good Science Center - Resource center with podcasts, quizzes, articles & videos Science of Happiness - Podcast by the Great Good Network AlanCowen.com - Visuals of mapping emotion You can purchase his most recent book, here!! About our Guest - Dr. Dacher Keltner Dr. Keltner is one of the world’s foremost emotion scientists. He is a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center. He has over 200 scientific publications and six books, including Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, and The Power Paradox. He has written for many popular outlets, from The New York Times to Slate. He was also the scientific advisor behind Pixar’s Inside Out, is involved with the education of healthcare providers and judges, and has consulted extensively for Google, Apple, and Pinterest, on issues related to emotion and well-being. We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons - joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! Click here for Awe - Dr. Dacher Keltner - Transcripts Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!

Healing Intergenerational and Ancestral Trauma with Linda Thai (Series SRIW, Ep 5, 206)

6 juni 2023 | 46 min

Let’s talk about it: A Pathway for Conversations & Meaningful Change on Climate with Dr. Anna Graybeal (Series SRIW, Ep 4, 205)

23 maj 2023 | 52 min

Racial Trauma: Challenges to Traditional Therapy, Part 2 of 2 (SRIW Series, Ep 3, 204)

9 maj 2023 | 56 min

Navigating Racial Trauma & Identity with Gliceria Pérez & Debra Chatman-Finley Part 1 (SRIW Series, Ep 1, 203)

2 maj 2023 | 56 min

Intergenerational Conversation on Climate with a Young Adult Homesteader (Secure Relating in an Insecure World, new series) Ep.202

18 april 2023 | 56 min

Interpreting Dreams with a Jungian Lens: Unlocking a World Within Ourselves (201)

27 mars 2023 | 52 min

Dreams: What do they really mean? An open discussion with Ann & Sue (200)

21 mars 2023 | 47 min

Exploring Internal Working Models with Ann & Sue (199)

7 mars 2023 | 44 min

A Client’s Perspective on EMDR with Dr. Deborah Korn & Michael Baldwin (198)

21 februari 2023 | 70 min

What Tiny Humans Can Teach Us About Adult Relating, with Neonatal Therapist Sue Ludwig (197)

7 februari 2023 | 57 min

Training Your Brain & Body to Thrive During Stress with Dr. Elizabeth A Stanley – REPLAY (196)

24 januari 2023 | 78 min

Whole Brain Living, Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor – REPLAY (195)

10 januari 2023 | 75 min

Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross – REPLAY (194)

23 december 2022 | 65 min

Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall (193)

13 december 2022 | 43 min

Relationship-based Parenting: An Integration of Neurobiology, Attachment, Regulation & Discipline (192)

29 november 2022 | 59 min

Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert (191)

15 november 2022 | 70 min

Secure Relating, Not the Same as Secure Attachment with Ann & Sue (190)

2 november 2022 | 48 min

Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell (189)

18 oktober 2022 | 56 min

Mistaken Assumptions to Re-Examine for Relational Connection w Ann and Sue (188)

4 oktober 2022 | 29 min

Connecting with Your Unconscious to Understand Your Defenses Session 5 of 5 – (187)

27 september 2022 | 61 min

Harnessing Healthy Aggression with Jeanne Bunker, Session 4 of 5 (186)

20 september 2022 | 50 min

Navigating Power Dynamics, Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue: Session 3 of 5 (185)

13 september 2022 | 51 min

Our Friend the Hippocampus: Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue, Session 2 of 5 (184)

1 september 2022 | 28 min

Disarming Human Defenses, a Series with Ann & Sue: Session 1 of 5 (183)

30 augusti 2022 | 42 min

Internal Family Systems (IFS), Neuroplasticity and Attachment with Dr. Frank Anderson (182)

14 augusti 2022 | 68 min

Managing Traumatic Stress as it Occurs (Peritraumatic Growth) with Dr. Arielle Schwartz (181)

2 augusti 2022 | 50 min

The Science of Trust and Attachment with Dr. Steve Finn (180)

19 juli 2022 | 59 min

From Toxic Individualism to Relational Security with Terry Real (179)

5 juli 2022 | 49 min

It’s Not Communication You Need, it’s Connection – with Guest John Howard (178)

21 juni 2022 | 58 min

Find Your Focus & Own Your Attention with Dr. Amishi Jha (177)

7 juni 2022 | 61 min

Attachment in Polyamory & Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships with Jessica Fern (176)

24 maj 2022 | 57 min

Harnessing Fierce Self-Compassion to Speak Up & Claim Your Power with Dr. Kristin Neff (175)

10 maj 2022 | 62 min

The Amygdala Unpacked with Dr. Joseph LeDoux (174)

26 april 2022 | 48 min

The Neurobiology of Threat Impacts Your Relationships, Ann and Sue Update You on the Latest (173)

10 april 2022 | 48 min

Training Your Brain & Body to Thrive During Stress with Dr. Elizabeth A Stanley (172)

29 mars 2022 | 77 min

Family Reconciliation & Writing to Heal Trauma, an Update with Laura Davis, co-author of the classic Courage to Heal (171)

15 mars 2022 | 66 min

Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell (170)

1 mars 2022 | 68 min

Sue and Ann Explore Self Criticism and Internal Scripts (Ep.169)

16 februari 2022 | 48 min

Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross (168)

1 februari 2022 | 66 min

A Dose of Hope: Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy for PTSD And Other Conditions With Dr. Dan Engle (167)

18 januari 2022 | 70 min

Regulation Basics: Protection or Connection Neural Pathways – Which System are You Running Right Now? (166)

4 januari 2022 | 40 min

Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (165)

22 december 2021 | 58 min

Whole Brain Living, Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor (164)

6 december 2021 | 78 min

Join our online community! Using neuroanatomy and her experience having a massive stroke that took her self-conscious mind, Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor and Sue Marriott discuss the 4 skill subsets in the brain that help us relate to ourselves and the world. Her TED Talk was the first one to ever go viral and has been viewed now 27 million times, so her ideas are clearly inspiring. Her new work brings together psychology, neurobiology and spiritual awakening. NOTE Dec, 2021: We will be releasing deeper dive episodes of Jill Bolte-Taylor's work and explore Whole Brain Living together on our private feed (only $5/mo). In addition, once we get through the book, we will have a live discussion all together in Jan, 2022. Join us by clicking the image to the right or go to www.therapistuncensored.com/join Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who suffered a stroke that led her on a path to rediscovering her brain. Her viral TED Talk, “My stroke of insight,” was the inspiration for her first book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. Now she's back to offer a deeper insight into the inner workings of the mind with her latest book, Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. In this episode, she dives deep into how the four distinct parts of our brain dictate how we live and be in the world. She gives great insight on how we can create anatomy by truly getting to know these four characters and owning our power. Tune in for this interesting and eye-opening discussion that could change the way you live your life. Show Notes: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:30 The Beginnings Of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor 00:06:18 On her viral TedTalk 00:08:17 What science can’t explain 00:10:10 Left hemisphere vs right hemisphere 00:14:51 From My Stroke of Insight To Whole Brain Living, the individual in the left brain vs the individual in the right brain 00:19:40 The Four Characters: Character 1(top-left) & 2(left lower limbic) 00:31:38 How your brain can change the narrative 00:36:00 Regulation in the limbic system 00:40:53 The Four Characters: Character 3(right lower limbic) & 4(top-right) 00:50:08 The BRAIN Huddle and our personal power to choose how we want to be 01:00:40 What’s next for Dr. Jill 01:02:27 The harmony of all Characters as the evolution of humanity 01:04:08 How to contact Dr. Jill 01:06:41 Psychedelics and connection with the planet 01:09:50 More on how to contact Dr. Jill Hear more psychology and neuroscience in previous episodes: Episode 93 Polyvagal Theory with Dr. Stephen Porges Episode 110 Story Follows State (more polyvagal theory) with Deb Dana Episode 117 Resilience Trauma and the Brain with Dr. Bruce Perry -- Listen to the podcast here: Whole Brain Living - Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor Transcript: Ann Kelley: You are going to be blown away by this episode with Jill Bolte Taylor. We didn't find out until after the interview that Oprah Winfrey named her as one of her all-time favorite guests and you're going to see why. This episode is a conversational mix of fascinating life stories, insights about neuroanatomy and psychology and good inspiration. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who started her career researching the brain and mental illness but she suffered a stroke on the left hemisphere of her brain. Through her experience of the stroke itself and her recovery, she continues to bring some of the most amazing insights regarding brain function and Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. Her TED Talk was the very first one to go viral, I believe, with almost 28 million views. In this episode, my cohost, Sue Marriott, explores her thoughts on what made her message take off and what she was tapping into that people needed. After her first book called My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Person...

Attachment Assessment Unpacked, Ann & Sue Geek Out and Debrief Previous Episode with Carol George (163)

24 november 2021 | 38 min

TU162: Adult Attachment Projective (AAP) Assessment & Clinical Use with Dr. Carol George

9 november 2021 | 94 min

TU161: Managing Unconscious Defense & Fear with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP

2 november 2021 | 44 min

TU 160: Disorganized Attachment, It’s Not Crazy; It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem –- REPLAY

26 oktober 2021 | 39 min

TU 159: Preoccupation in Relationships – Signs and Solutions to Anxious Attachment – REPLAY

11 oktober 2021 | 36 min

TU158: Are You Cool, or Just Cut Off? Dismissing/Avoidant Styles of Relating in Adulthood – REPLAY

5 oktober 2021 | 36 min

TU157: Treating Complex Trauma and Attachment with Guest Dr. Daniel Brown REPLAY

24 september 2021 | 51 min

TU156: What Actually Heals in Therapy with Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams – Replay

15 september 2021 | 46 min

TU155: Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive with Dr. Susan Ansorge REPLAY

31 augusti 2021 | 39 min

TU154: Conquer Shame by Understanding the Science Behind the Feeling, with Guest Expert Dr. Steve Finn – REPLAY

25 augusti 2021 | 60 min

TU153: How Good Boundaries Bring Us Closer – REPLAY – with Juliane Taylor Shore

18 augusti 2021 | 52 min

TU152 – Helping the Intense Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach REPLAY

8 augusti 2021 | 57 min

TU151: Secure Parenting While Under Stress with Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson REPLAY

4 augusti 2021 | 78 min

TU 150: Ann & Sue’s 150th Episode – Recaps & Recommendations for Growing Security

22 juli 2021 | 43 min

TU 149: Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum – An Integrated Model of Change

8 juli 2021 | 45 min

TU 148: Emotionally Focused Therapy & Attachment with Camille Scent

25 juni 2021 | 58 min

TU 147: Body-Focused Therapy with Dr. Robert Coffman

1 juni 2021 | 74 min

TU 146: Behind the Scenes in Therapy with Lori Gottlieb

17 maj 2021 | 27 min

TU145: Class, Race, Culture and Attachment, Re-examined

27 april 2021 | 45 min

TU144: The Case of Feli, an Awkward Goose

12 april 2021 | 15 min

TU143: Fear of Abandonment and Narcissism, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula

30 mars 2021 | 49 min

TU142: Trauma-Informed Therapy with Children, with Robyn Gobbel, MSW, RPT-S

10 mars 2021 | 53 min

TU141: How We Become the Person’s We Are with Dr. Alan Sroufe, Attachment Through the Lifespan

15 februari 2021 | 62 min

TU140 – Couples Therapy Through the Eyes of Experts: Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson

1 februari 2021 | 55 min

TU139: Boys and Sex, Modern Young Men and Sexuality with Peggy Orenstein

13 december 2020 | 58 min

TU138: What if it’s You that’s the Difficult One? Holding Your Own Challenging Personality Traits (6 of 6)

10 december 2020 | 65 min

TU137: Holding Your Own S5, Malignant Narcissism (5th in a series)

30 november 2020 | 40 min

TU136: Holding Your Own S4 -“Borderline” Traits (4th in a series)

18 november 2020 | 44 min

TU135: Holding Your Own Session 3 – Covert Narcissism (3rd in a Series)

10 november 2020 | 36 min

TU134: Holding Your Own Session 2, Grandiose Narcissism has Met it’s Match (2nd in a series)

2 november 2020 | 51 min

Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities - staying secure in relationship with those high in narcissistic, borderline or anti-social traits. Session 2 - Staying secure in connection with one kind of narcissism: grandiose narcissism Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott have launched a new series titled “Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities.” Together, they’ll unpack how to navigate strained relationships during and after this pandemic. The goal of this series is to bring you the skills and practices that you can use right now to get to secure relating and if not that, helping you ground and stay in your secure self no matter what is swirling around you. If you want to start at the beginning, listen to the first in the series: TU132 HYO Session 1: Messy But Secure Relating Grandiose Narcissism Today's episode breaks down one of 3 types of narcissism, and later in the series they will address the other kinds. There’s always a judgement, even if the verdict is positive, there is an evaluation happening. Difference between self-aggrandizing moment and more problematic self-oriented relating - one is environmentally influenced, the other is just the way it is, always. You value people for what they can do for you, it's a transaction noi a real relationship. Trouble with: Apologies Gratitude Greek version of the myth: Narcissus, was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though, and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow. According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld, looking at the waters of the Styx. Narcissistic Extension This is when we have learned to support the other person’s ego by giving them what we know that they want. As kids we get highly skilled at reading a scene, knowing the unspoken and responding as wished. This is part of what causes the injury to the self, because in the midst of all that, where the heck are You? If a child turns to their own needs and that parent feels that as a Break and is activated by it, it’s suddenly unsafe to tune in to their disapproval or distance. So we’d rather give ourselves up than lose our connection. Defenses in Grandiose Narcissism Idealization and devaluation - to be close you tend to be in one of these spots, and they can flip really fast. It's an outward expression of assumptions they may be making about themselves and their own value. Shame core but not conscious. Narcissistic supply - people are used to fill you up but then are expendable. They may report high self-esteem and low neuroticism because they don't carry a lot of conscious internal conflict. The conflict - if any - is interpersonal which is WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO HOLD ON TO YOUR SECURE SELF. Holding on to Secure Self Take a deep breath, and whatever you do... Don't project relationality into someone non-relational, it's bad for both. See them as they actually are, and that can be painful. It's courageous though, and the beginning of taking your evaluation of what you are getting from this person and what you need. Don't put up with demeaning, devaluing or abusing you. Standing up to them can be dangerous in various ways, but for now we will focus on relational / emotional danger. There is a feeling of threat to differentiate, and you might get cut off, but having a Self is the only way to move it into a more secure relational dynamic. Otherwise they have no incentive to change because internally they see themselves doing pretty dang good. Disabuse them of this delusion. Hold you, also hold them, and stay strong.

TU133: Holding Your Own 1: Messy but Secure Relating

26 oktober 2020 | 34 min

TU132: Crisis Exhaustion – Hang in There, it’s Going to Be OK (Eventually) If We Stick Together

8 oktober 2020 | 31 min

TU131 – Strange Situation: Surprising Attachment Science Uncovered, with Bethany Saltman

22 september 2020 | 61 min

TU130 – The Deep Biology of Love – Oxytocin Unpacked, with Research Pioneer Dr. Sue Carter

8 september 2020 | 73 min

TU129 – Transformative Psychedelic Experiences With and Without Drugs, with Special Guest, Trey Ratcliff

25 augusti 2020 | 51 min

TU128 – Helping the Intense Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach

12 augusti 2020 | 57 min

TU127 Grandma Heals: Community-Based Mental Health Care from Zimbabwe with Dr. Ruth Verhey

4 augusti 2020 | 60 min

TU126 – What Do We Mean by Modern Attachment? Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley Discuss

23 juli 2020 | 52 min

TU125 – Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson: Parenting Under Stress

10 juli 2020 | 84 min

TU124 – Hip Hop as Therapy: Beat Making, Lyrics & Community Empowerment

30 juni 2020 | 68 min

TU123 – Narratives of Fear: George Floyd, Protest, and Community Empowerment with Dr. Raphael Travis

22 juni 2020 | 51 min

TU122: Loving & Living with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (or ADHD) with Ari Tuckman

19 maj 2020 | 58 min

TU121: Redefining the Purpose of Relationships During Quarantine with Stan Tatkin

8 maj 2020 | 54 min

TU120: Finding Security and Healing Attachment with Dr. David Elliott

27 april 2020 | 48 min

TU119: For the Love of Men, Rethinking Masculinity with Liz Plank

8 april 2020 | 50 min

TU118: Mental Health Support During this Damn Coronavirus Pandemic

30 mars 2020 | 41 min

Calm is contagious, too! Coping through Coronavirus. Our hearts hurt for those affected by COVID. Those who are ill, survivors of those taken by the virus, service employee's continuing to work, front-line medical and science warriors, those who lost their job or savings, those who are isolated alone and those stuck at home in harsh relationships or with kids out of school and needy... it's all relative. It doesn't help to compare pain - pain is pain - we all need support through this coronavirus pandemic. Period. So let's clasp hands and co-regulate one another through this as best we can. In this episode, Sue and Ann discuss how we are collectively processing the coronavirus pandemic and provide some tools on how we can regulate our emotions during these coronavirus times. We are having experiences that are creating emotions that we do not normally have from a day-to-day basis and will have to understand how to process. Get the Facts but don't Rubber-Neck (southern term I think, slowing down and looking hard at a wreck on the freeway even though you don't really want to see). Use social media purposefully, don't get hooked watching the stats there is nothing to see there that will help us cope. It's being covered each time as new news, so our nervous system stays in alert. Limit social media and create your bubble of safety. Use sources you trust and don't act from rumors. Name your feelings - identify the specific source rather than live in ocean of free-floating anxiety. Better to be afraid for your mom or your 401 K than feel the weight of anxiety globally. Connect socially as part of your ADL's - activities of daily living. Breathing Techniques - Breathing in for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5. Imagery - Imagining a sense of calm and safety in your environment and community. Use your mind to soothe and comfort yourself - this is neuroscience and it actually works! Add a safe person, place or animal that comforts you. Perspective matters - this will end. Interconnectedness - We are all experiencing this collectively. You are not alone. The virus does not discriminate it's a great equalizer even though we aren't equally effected (it hits marginalized communities hardest). Know what you can and cannot control - We cannot predict what will happen. We can control what we focus on, what information and how much information we are consuming. Our global actions can have a global impact. World Health Organization RAIN by Tara Brock Recognize what is happening; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nurture with self-compassion. APPLE Acknowledge the thought that comes to mind. Pause your reaction and breathe. Pull back and understand that thoughts are not always your own. Let go of the thought or feeling. Explore the present moment. Stop. Touch. Go. Resources and Links to recent articles: Trusted resources TU64: Mindfulness Meditation with Yoga Therapist Kelly Inselman TU63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann TU52: Using Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal, with Guest Kelly Inselmann Our course on Attachment and Neuroscience has been recently released and is now available! And, since you are deep into these show notes then you are one of us, so get 10% off by putting in code OURCLAN. 🙂 While this course is utilized heavily by clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. It is a full 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION ______ Want to help us keep going? We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.

TU117: Resilience Trauma and the Brain W/ Guest Bruce Perry MD, PhD

13 mars 2020 | 57 min

TU116: Fight Flight Freeze … and “Fawn”?? Can People-Pleasing Be a Sign of Trauma?

27 februari 2020 | 29 min

Freeze Appease Dissociate... Appease is Fawning when it comes to C-PTSD Are you a huge people-pleaser, conflict avoider, peace-keeper? Maybe you are just being nice, but if you are compelled to do it, driven to not take up much space, to not impose... and you don't have much of a choice about it, there may be something deeper going on. If so, today's episode talks to you, friend. If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start at any time by CLICKING HERE! No sales, no gimmicks, just 4 supportive email over a month to support you in changing an emotional health habit that no longer works for you. Shout out to all those on the 30-day Challenge! You've been getting a series of emails.... this show discusses a topic that will help MANY of you with your personal emotional growth challenge. Fawning This is actually an old term coined by Peter Walker in 2003 discussing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others. They act as if they unconsciously believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences and boundaries. - Peter Walker on his website. You may be familiar with fight flight and freeze - the 3 common threat responses that our autonomic nervous system unconsciously engages when it perceives danger. If not, there is a TON of information about this in many previous episodes of Therapist Uncensored. We are interested because it affects how we relate to others and makes us act really stupid at times. :) Well, it's smart from an old survival perspective but can be really bone-headed in our adult lives when the reaction is triggered and yet the threat doesn't warrant such survival response. Well, when we can't escape the trauma and thus fighting or fleeing isn't an option, our bodies will freeze, appease or dissociate. The appease portion of the response is what Walker refers to as "Fawn." It is another survival response which is often associated with complex post-traumatic stress disorder. It occurs when survivors recognize danger signals and stay safe by complying and minimizing confrontation. Freeze, Appease or Dissociate - Fawning refers to Appease. People-pleasing Being unable to say how you really think or feel Caring for others to your own detriment Always saying “yes” to requests Flattering others Struggling with low self-esteem Avoiding conflict Feeling taken advantage of Being very concerned about fitting in with others Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder C-PTSD Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course. While this course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), it is also for all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationship!. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. BOOK of the MONTH Maybe You Should Talk to Someone– A Therapist, HER Therapist and a Life Revealed, by Lori Gottlieb. If you are looking for something to inspire you – make you laugh – tear up a bit and generally move towards being a better human this is the book we are recommending this mo...

TU115: Improving Your Emotional Health – the Challenge & the Update with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP

19 februari 2020 | 28 min

30-Day Emotional Health Challenge Update In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss their progress in their 30-Day Emotional Health Challenge. If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start today by CLICKING HERE! No sales no gimmicks, just support for you to change! Positive, Humbling, and Frickin’ Hard Ann discuses the positive activation around sharing and discussing the 30-Day Emotional Health Challenge. Sue shares about the Challenge of the Emotional Health Challenge A bit ambitious because it is a deeply held unconscious learning Working on Changing Adaptations From Early Childhood The consensus in the Facebook group and among our Patrons is that we're picking something that was an adaptation from our early life. It was important that we learn to do it, but it's not necessarily helping us now. The problem is it was laid down in our bodies so early and really without conscious thought, so even just thinking about it doesn't necessarily change it. Instead, we adapt to it, repress it, etc. This leads to a cycle of recognizing something, acknowledging that it isn’t working, and then repeating the behavior, which is induces shame. Relief and Frustration These behaviors are implicit (unconscious) not explicit (conscious), which makes them really hard to change. The Process: Community connection Trying to teach ourselves to do something new Picking one thing, not everything, with love, compassion, and curiosity Examine the symptom or behavior that is no longer serving us Just learning about it and becoming more aware Not trying to repress or change it Try something new and continue to learn Are we resistant to changing? Reluctant to give up the old behavior? Etc Adjusting the Emotional Health Goal Sue discusses the zig-zag process of scaling her goal up and down based on her exploration process and how her thoughts about it changed after attending a conference with Bruce Eckert on Memory Reconsolidation. Two Particularly Helpful Takeaways From the Conference We can’t know our unconscious Sue tests out whether or not The Memory Reconsolidation Technique is something we can do alone Because the behavior is implicit, it comes from the unconscious, so there is no way to see it by ourselves. But we can still move it by being curious about our responses and what comes up in the feelings of threat. Seeing the effects of the implicit coming out in our explicit reactions and working to get more comfortable with it invites it in more. State Dependent Learning When we're in a regulated state, we have access to all this great knowledge and learned information. As we get into a dysregulated state, the neural network shifts and it becomes a different learning. We really actually kind of lose contact for a moment with that more reflective stance. Especially if we come from a neglect or a trauma background or had tough things in life or had adversity. We have these learnings that are on their own neural network. Neural Networks and Changing Symptomatic Behavior There are 2 different neural circuits, and the only way to change the symptomatic behavior is to access the other neural circuit. This has to do with activation, so we have to actually feel the feelings to improve emotional health. How Do We know What’s Changing? It starts with the behavior starts with the symptom. In recognizing the symptom that you want to shift, you've gone much more internal and you've named one part of it. In exploring it, we are un-layering it, and we’re smack dab on our which is to to go deeper and shift to more of a sense of security inside of you. Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience...

TU114: Take the 30 Day Emotional Health Challenge!

4 februari 2020 | 39 min

Sue & Ann laughing at themselves, probably at our bumbling efforts on our 30-day emotional health challenge! Enough theory – it’s time to choose JUST ONE emotional health goal to work on for the next 30 days. Let go of what no longer serves you. Join us for our 30-day emotional health challenge! In this episode, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP are walking the walk. They personally challenge you to pick one thing to work on for the next 30 days – something challenging but within reach. Show Notes - 30 day emotional health challenge Backstory It’s February – this is not a new years resolution because they typically don’t work past about now. You hear about weight loss goals and fitness goals, but the most life-changing skills for long-term happiness and health is actually having close relationships. No matter how secure you are, how much therapy you have had, what letters are behind your name or how old you are, there is always something we can do to improve our sense of ourself and our close relationships. You pick! We give lots of ideas but the upshot is you know your own bad emotional habits. Self -Inventory With love and compassion first – reflect on what you know you need to work on Pick something that if you could change, it would have real meaning to you Pick something that is clear enough to be measurable – if others can see it that’s even better Tell someone what you are doing – gain accountability When you fail, this is a true challenge, remember? When you fail learn a bit more about what happened, where the bad habit or self talk is coming from, what triggers the behavior and ideas for intervention Earned Security and Internal Working Maps – Reviewed What is emotional health? Ann & Sue’s personal challenges Ann shares her personal 30 day challenge goal and how it developed – implicit emotional learning Sue shares her 30 day emotional challenge goal and what her implicit emotional learning she’s trying to unlearn and replace with something more adaptive for today How to identify your old IWM (adaptations to your early environment that are usually based on things that are no longer true) and replace them with new, more accurate IWM Earning Security – a cool club to be a part of 🙂 Examples of what you might try based on where you fall on the Attachment-Regulation Spectrum Resources for this Episode – Recommended Books Self Compassion Workbook A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer Neuroscience of Human Relationships by Lou Cozolino Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course. This course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. BOOK of the MONTH Maybe You Should Talk to Someone– A Therapist, HER Therapist and a Life Revealed, by Lori Gottlieb. If you are looking for something to inspire you – make you laugh – tear up a bit and generally move to...

TU113: Integrating Self-Defense, Neuroscience and Affirmative Consent to Build Empowerment and Heal Trauma

23 januari 2020 | 51 min

“Yes means yes is the new no means no!” Often we doubt our gut instinct, question our right to take up space in the world, and live governed by fear -especially when we’ve experienced trauma. Meet the Safety Team, a group of ordinary women doing extraordinary work teaching women how to build resiliency and re-claim their sense of agency. In this episode, Co-host Dr Ann Kelley joins this powerful group of women as they teach us how to find our voice, feel more present and powerful in our bodies, build resilience, and heal trauma. Who is The Safety Team? Christine DiBlasio, Ph.D., is the president and co-founder of The Safety Team, as well as a 4th degree black belt in Karate. For over 15 years, Dr. DiBlasio has coordinated and presented workshops on violence prevention, risk reduction, and self-advocacy skills to middle, high school and college students, as well as to community and corporate organizations. She has been instrumental in curriculum development, with a strong focus on serving survivors of interpersonal violence and trauma so as to promote healing. In addition, Dr. DiBlasio created a college and high school internship program and continues to provide leadership training to these interns as well as to an expanding group of volunteers. Dr. DiBlasio’s dedication to the Safety Team is an outgrowth of both her background in martial arts as well as her extensive experience as a practicing licensed psychologist with 30 years of clinical experience. Dr. DiBlasio is the clinical director of a large mental health outpatient practice, and in the context of this work, has provided psychotherapy services for survivors of interpersonal violence, trauma and sexual assault across the lifespan. Darcy Richardson, MS, is a forensic toxicologist and Vice-President of The Safety Team, a 501(c)3 non-profit focused on the empowerment of women and the reduction of sexual violence. As a toxicologist she has provided expert testimony in over a thousand cases in both criminal and civil courts at the state and federal level. These cases have included assault and sexual assaults where her expertise is used to discuss the impact of alcohol and drugs on the ability to consent or to react effectively in dangerous situations. As part of The Safety Team she uses this expertise to teach women about Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault (DFSA), and how to effectively navigate this risk. Research indicates that half of all sexual assault cases involve alcohol and/or other drugs, which means addressing DFSA in Empowerment Self-Defense (ESD) classes and curricula is an integral part of reducing the incidence of sexual violence overall. Darcy is a 2nd degree black belt in Karate and a 1st degree black belt in Arnis. Christina Allard, PT, is the volunteer coordinator, and instructor for The Safety Team, Inc. and a licensed Physical Therapist specializing in pediatrics and school-based therapy. She pursued additional training in childhood trauma and its impacts on development. She incorporates her knowledge of neuromuscular and somatic responses to develop movement strategies for emotional regulation in children and teenagers. Her interest in the therapeutic effects of movement sparked her interest in martial arts (brown belt in Karate) and her ongoing commitment to the empowerment model of The Safety Team. Nancy Keller, MEd, CAS, is the treasurer, co-founder, and lead instructor for The Safety Team, Inc. and a licensed public-school educator with Winooski (VT) School District for more than 30 years. With expertise in curriculum development and instruction, she has created middle school programs for place-based learning in science and mathematics, as well as implemented a school-wide classroom-based program for physical activity. This program was designed to address the movement needs of those children who have experienced trauma, and was built upon her background in the martial arts (3rd degree black belt in Karate ...

TU112: The Life-Changing Science of Memory Reconsolidation with Guests Bruce Ecker & Tori Olds

7 januari 2020 | 61 min

Tori Olds with Deep Eddy Psychotherapy Learn to apply the advances in neuroscience to our lives in a real way – we all want to be able to do that, right? This episode delivers on that for sure – memory reconsolidation is changing how therapists practice and explains why those lightbulb moments can actually transform us if done correctly. 🙂 In this episode, Powerhouse clinicians Tori Olds and Bruce Ecker join co-host Sue Marriott in a discussion on how memory reconsolidation brings awareness to old maps and traumatic emotional learning and gives us a clean slate on which to build new learning pathways. Saturday February 15, 2020: Introduction to Coherence Therapy, Austin, TX Who is Bruce Ecker? Bruce Ecker, MA, LMFT is co-originator of Coherence Therapy and coauthor of Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Eliminating Symptoms at Their Roots Using Memory Reconsolidation; the Coherence Therapy Practice Manual & Training Guide; and Depth Oriented Brief Therapy: How To Be Brief When You Were Trained To Be Deep and Vice Versa. Clarifying how transformational change takes place is the central theme of Bruce Ecker’s clinical career, and he has contributed many innovations in concepts and methods of experiential psychotherapy. Since 2006 he has driven the clinical field’s recognition of memory reconsolidation as the core process of transformational change and has developed the application of this brain research breakthrough to advancements in therapeutic effectiveness and psychotherapy integration. Bruce is a frequent presenter at conferences and workshops internationally, has taught extensively in clinical graduate programs, and is in private practice in New York City Who is Dr Tori Olds? Tori Olds, PhD is a psychologist in private practice in Austin, Texas. She is a co-owner of Deep Eddy Psychotherapy, a counseling center housing seventeen clinicians. She specializes in working with trauma, particularly attachment trauma, and utilizing mindfulness and self-compassion as a resource for personal growth. Alongside her clinical work, she has a passion for training therapists in experiential ways of working. She leads a number of study groups and is developing 10 online courses focused on helping clinicians develop experiential skills, as well as understand human development from an evolutionary, neurobiological, and attachment lens. Show Notes Meeting Tori Olds and Bruce Ecker Tori Olds: Clinician and leader of a training group on how to integrate experiential psychotherapies (AEDP, PACT, Somatic Experiencing) Bruce Ecker: Clinician and author of “Unlocking the Emotional Brain” Emotional Learning Emotional learning happens much as a Pavlovian response We often learn without awareness and become prisoners of emotional learning Emotional truths are a powerful mental model how of how the world works that we don’t often realize are there Low self-esteem works as a protective, adaptive tactic By bringing awareness to these learnings, we can de-pathologize them (therapists can help facilitate this) and begin the disconfirmation process Memory reconsolidation Memory reconsolidation: the brain’s built-in, natural way of using new learning to directly update and re-encode existing old learning This process targets emotional learning Memory reconsolidation can serve as a “unifying framework for the psychotherapy field, which has been so fragmented” Therapeutic Contexts of Memory Reconsolidation Coherence therapy, as well as many other different therapeutic models, can produce transformational change through memory reconsolidation Three stages: 1) Discovery 2) Integration 3) Juxtaposition Resources Primer on Memory Reconsolidation – PDF – READ THIS if you want more! Unlocking the Emotional Brain –– Bruce Ecker Coherence Therapy Practice Manual – Bruce Ecker Depth Oriented Brief Therapy – Bruce Ecker Memory Reconsolidation in Psychotherapy: The Neuropsychotherapist Special...

TU111: Navigating Narcissistic Relationships – Gaslighting Manipulation and Grandiosity Called Out

24 december 2019 | 43 min

TU110: Story Follows State – Investigating Polyvagal Theory with Guest Deb Dana

5 december 2019 | 57 min

When we have an anchor in ventral, we can then go visit sympathetic and dorsal without being hijacked by it. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, Co-host Sue Marriott explores the intersection of Polyvagal Theory, neuroscience, and attachment with Deb Dana. We will investigate how the mind creates stories from information relayed by the nervous system, and how we can rewrite the script to move toward security. Meeting Deb Dana Deb Dana is a clinician and consultant who works with trauma She has a training program called the Rhythm of Regulation Goals of this: understand the nervous system and help people become active operators of their own system Story Follows State The mind narrates what the nervous system knows Therapeutic goal: bringing explicit awareness to implicit processes Neuroception: our nervous system has a response to what is going on in the world and looks to others for cues of safety and danger The brain tries to make sense of what is happening in the body on a physiological level by making up a story Many of us have nervous systems that are shaped by experiences to be wary of connection; this is something that we work on shifting in therapy The Nervous System and Attachment The nervous system services our survival and sets the stage for attachment We have two survival states: Sympathetic: mobilized, energetic state- we see red folks here! Dorsal vagal collapse: immobilized, disconnected state- we see blue folks here! The Hopefulness in Polyvagal Theory “Experience shapes the nervous system and ongoing experience reshapes the nervous system” When shame reduces, curiosity arises The Autonomic Ladder It can be helpful to identify where you currently stand on the ladder, as well as track where you are going on the ladder Ladder orientation from top down- ventral vagal (anchored state), sympathetic (activated state), dorsal (collapsed state) Take Home Tips Use your voice! Intonation before information. We send cues of safety or danger through our tone of voice. Each nervous system is different in how it comes back into repair, and it changes over time. In a ventral state, there is community. If you’re in trouble, go social! (i.e. send a text, make that phone call, reassure yourself) Who is Deb Dana? Deb Dana, LCSW is a clinician and consultant specializing in working with complex trauma and is Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute. She developed the Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series and lectures internationally on ways Polyvagal Theory informs work with trauma survivors. Deb is the author of The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation and co-edited, with Stephen Porges, Clinical Applications of the Polyvagal Theory: The Emergence of Polyvagal-Informed Therapies. Resources: Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory Using the Autonomic Ladder to Work with Perfectionism The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation Rhythm of Regulation Website Stephen Porges’s and Deb Dana’s Coauthored Book Who doesn’t love special offers? Our advanced course on attachment and neuroscience has been recently released and is now available for a discounted price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare. We can only do that with the help of our Neuronerd private community. By joining as a Neuronerd premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content and first shot at very unique study oppo...

TU109: THIS is Resilience in Action With Guest Alphanso Appleton

22 november 2019 | 35 min

Resilience in real-life from a non-Western perspective. (Cover photo, Appleton took responsibility for feeding kids in his village by diving and spearing food from the sea.) “And if there’s any other person that is going through mental health problems or a very hard time in their life, or they have been through something really bad… I just want them to know that they’re not alone.” Alphanso Appleton In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored on Trauma and Resilience, Alphanso Kwame Appleton, a Liberian native, shares his experiences of growing up in a country devastated by civil war, living through the Ebola epidemic, and tragically losing his young daughter. Despite these repeated experiences of trauma, he is healing and has found purpose in his life. This is an incredible story that absolutely captures what resilience looks like and we are pleased that his recovery did not rely on traditional Western approaches. We have so much to learn. Interview by Sue Marriott. Meeting Alphonso Meeting in Liberia through Strongheart and by happenstance, through the work of Dan Siegel. Mentoring youth Surfing Photography Life in Liberia The Liberian Civil War Escaping to Monrovia Child Soldiers Lack of education “Iron Lady” How the love and faith of Alphanso’s grandmother, whom he describes as an “Iron Lady”, protected him from rebel recruitment of child soldiers The Effects of Lack of Education Effects on Society Effect on healthcare industry – and him personally regarding the loss of his daughter The Ebola Epidemic The lack of belief and understanding that Ebola was real The spread of Ebola Alphanso’s photo that went viral thanking science for the Ebola vaccine “…maybe my photo will help young Liberians know science helps the world and become scientists too.” – Photographer Alphanso Appleton Personal Tragedy The loss of Alphanso’s 18 month old daughter, Lisa. Alphanso’s Healing Journey Faith Strongheart – learning a meditation practice Surfing The Universal Language of Photography Resilience through expression of emotion through photos “The Liberia Project” by Apartial featuring Alphanso Appleton “Portraits of Progress” by Alphanso Appleton Moving Forward Current and future endeavors Misconceptions about Africa Words of wisdom “Overall, it’s just finding something you love – something you love doing- something that brings you joy; something that makes you happy. Because that was a really key part of my transformation. That was a really key part of my healing.” Alphanso Appleton Other episodes you may enjoy: TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection TU33: Adverse Childhood Experiences: A Roadmap To Understanding And Treatment Resources “Alphanso Appleton: A Story of Becoming” The Making of Child Surfers, Not Child Soldiers Article in Global Citizen – Surfers Paint Liberia Strongminds.org Alphanso’s contact information [email protected] Who doesn’t love special offers? Our advanced course on attachment and neuroscience has been recently released and is now available for a discounted price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We’re on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join our community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.

TU108: Judgment and Self-Criticism Unchecked – a Great Interpersonal Defense

15 november 2019 | 21 min

Judgment says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee. It’s not Judgement – Bad. It’s Judgment-Interesting. Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time – both positively and negatively. It’s our brains appraisal system. However unchecked it’s also a very handy interpersonal defense. Today we explore one aspect of insecure functioning, unchecked judgment and harsh self-criticism. It is just one common insecure pattern to think in absolutes and moral righteousness, and before you judge judgers, those of us who’s favorite flavor is self-criticism and self-judgement please be warned that harsh scale extends quickly to those close to us. Fun times to grow and learn we tell ya!! In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored, Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the big picture of attachment and take a deep dive into just one of the habits of insecure attachment – how we use judgment! Turn on your curiosity and notice your judgments as we go – it’s kinda fun, actually. The Pleasure of Judgement Description of what self-righteous judgment looks like presented in an anecdotal but accurate way. Quick Review Every human being has a system to manage threat. Blue – you down-regulate Red – you up-regulate The Role of Judgment Method of self-protection Response to a feeling of threat 2 types: self-righteous or self-critical Self-Righteous Judgment It’s a great feeling. What’s really going on underneath? Disconnection from threat in our own body Slowing down to experience what we are judging Fortified defense Not pathological, it’s protective Example of Blue Judgment Fear of Vulnerability Judging to keep at a distance Example of Red Judgment Telling others what they are doing wrong Judging to prevent expressing fear of abandonment underneath Non-Judgment Inability to create a judgment can be an indication that we can’t have a sense of self and an essence of threat, and that clearly defining ourselves is too vulnerable. (red-side of insecure spectrum, usually) Judgment Can Be A Healthy Protection Not all judgment is bad Explore it. Righteousness to Relationality Exploring the movie about Harriet Tubman The moral high road Righteousness as the lazy man’s way Making the move Effecting change while staying in the relationship Self-Judgment Also the lazy man’s road Same old negative thoughts No movement and no new neural pathways being built Keeps us stuck Moving from self-loathing to connection Putting our feet to the fire It’s not that it’s pathological – it’s information. We think it’s information about the other person, but really it can be a window into something more interesting if we open up to exploring it. Why do you judge THAT in particular? What parts of others make your skin crawl? Check if it’s disowned parts of yourself that you are attempting to distance from or stamp out in others. You see…. now it gets interesting and the door opens rather than slams close on the object of our scrutiny. Practice Noticing With Compassion Find your version of what it is that you’re judging. Have a little smile of humor when you catch yourself being judgmental Explore what’s underneath Resources Healing Your Attachment Wounds by Diane Pool Heller Healing Developmental Trauma Lawrence Heller Self-Compassion, the Hidden Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff Also check out TU73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted early release price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are highly interested in deepening the security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. Price increases on October 22, 2019 when it is released to the wider public.

TU107: What is Somatic Experiencing With Guest Abi Blakeslee

30 oktober 2019 | 60 min

Trauma is not a life sentence. We are rapidly learning what works to reverse the effects of stored injuries and today we will explore one treatment version of that, called Somatic Experiencing. First a shout out to a listener who connected us to our guest today, Ali Capurro – thank you! And to everyone else please note that we love these kinds of connections are always open to hear from you on who you think would deepen this conversation of earning security. In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-host Sue Marriott explores Somatic Experiencing with Dr Abi Blakeslee. This interactive deep-dive takes you into the Somatic Experiencing process and provides hope and confirmation that healing trauma is possible through integrated treatment of the brain, the body, and the mind! The Foundations of Somatic Experiencing (SE) Founded by Dr Peter Levine – author of best-selling books “Waking the Tiger- Healing Trauma”, and “In an Unspoken Voice” SE is based on the study of how animals in the wild process and recover from stress and trauma. Focuses on working directly with the nervous system to help people reorganize the non-conscious survival adaptations developed by the sub-cortical or lower brain Definition of Somatic Experiencing the experience of body in the present moment. What SE Looks Like in Practice Present-centered because the healing happens in the here-and-now. It’s a process of following what is is happening in the body and taking a pause from the trauma content to down-regulate the amygdala to a state of safety before moving forward. “The trauma’s not in the event. It’s in the nervous system.” The Nervous System Getting “Unstuck” – Healing Trauma Through Body Awareness Pendulation – Peter Levine defines that as the expansion of contraction of all things moving between expanded States and contracted States. Orienting Exercise The Biological Model of the Threat Response Cycle Wild Animals Versus Humans During Threat Cycle: Orient – aware of something in environment Defensive Orienting – sense threat Moving Into Social Interaction – Moving Into Fight and Flight – these are active defense responses Increased sympathetic arousal, burst of movements, Moving Into Freeze – passive defense response Heart rate goes into a slow state like for hibernation. Digestion slows down, hello heart rate variability circulation. There’s nothing pumping to the arms and the legs, so everything shifts into this near death state Back to Exploratory Orienting Working With the Nervous System Tracking Sensation – describing sensations happening in the body as they are happening Noticing Movement Patterns – acknowledging the shifts that occur Completion of Defensive Responses – allowing the body to carry out the response desired (runnint, punching, kicking, etc) but VERY SLOWLY Sympathetic Discharge When Coming Out of Freeze or Down From High Sympathetic Charge Impala and the Baboon Video Grounding Exercise Neuroception vs Interoception Neuroception is the lower brain assessment of safety/threat in the environment. Interoception is the awareness of one’s own internal states and can be learned over time. Who is Dr Abi Blakeslee: Dr. Abi Blakeslee is faculty at the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute and Foundation for Human Enrichment. She is additionally Dr. Peter Levine’s legacy faculty at Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. Dr. Blakeslee holds a Ph.D. in Clinical and Somatic Psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her dissertation, with a committee that included Dr. Daniel Siegel, generated original research on the role of implicit memory in healing trauma. Dr. Blakeslee integrates SE with clinical research, secondary trauma interventions, and the psychobiological principles of attachment and shock trauma. She treats individuals, couples, children and families in her clinical practice. Dr.

TU106: What Actually Heals in Therapy with Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams

18 oktober 2019 | 45 min

Learn what actually works in therapy. It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. She further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as psychoanalytically-informed, attachment-oriented therapy, and integrates the neurobiological aspect that Freud started that has now been confirmed. Who is Nancy McWilliams? Nancy McWilliams, PhD, ABPP, is Visiting Professor in the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, and has a private practice in Flemington, New Jersey. She is on the editorial board of Psychoanalytic Psychology and has authored three classic books on psychotherapy, including the award-winning Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, Second Edition: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process. Dr. McWilliams is an Honorary Member of the American Psychoanalytic Association and a former Erikson Scholar at the Austen Riggs Center in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. She is a recipient of the Leadership and Scholarship Awards from Division 39 (Psychoanalysis) of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Hans H. Strupp Award from the Appalachian Psychoanalytic Society, and delivered the Dr. Rosalee G. Weiss Lecture for Outstanding Leaders in Psychology for APA Division 42 (Psychologists in Independent Practice). She has demonstrated psychodynamic psychotherapy in three APA educational videos and has spoken at the commencement ceremonies of the Yale University School of Medicine and the Smith College School for Social Work. Show Notes – Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Therapy with Nancy McWilliams Psychoanalytic Perspective, Trauma & Attachment Based Treatment • Challenges – academic and scientific • Short term focused • Technique driven • However, deprives individuals of the time needed to establish secure attachment to therapist, develop motivation to change, feel root feelings, etc. • Psychoananalytic Perspective • Humanistic-evidence based relationships • Proving and disproving Freud Trauma treatment history • Long term Therapy Benefits • Devoted Therapist Negative Transference “Difficult patients” typically are the ones that evoke parts of ourselves that we don’t like. Our own ugliness, our own badness, all of that. And again, that goes back to long-term treatment, but also long-term treatment of ourselves, you know, as doing our own work and really, you know, a lifelong process. Research on non-verbal communications and what works in therapy. Learning the defenses and what lies underneath • Narcissism/soft toss • Borderline • what would you advise for people to get the most out of their therapy or any close relationship that they’re in? Do you have thoughts about that? If you enjoy this episode you may also enjoy these: TU105: Narcissism, What is Going On Under the Defense w Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley TU90: Avoidance and the Difficulty Opening Up with Guest Robert T. Muller TU41: The Dark Side Of Therapy: Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad Resources: Psychoanalytic Diagnosis by Nancy McWilliams (textbook for therapists and students) To Know and to Care – A_Review of Psychoanalysis by Nancy McWilliams A psychodynamic formulation masterclass by Nancy McWilliams In Conversation Wih Dr Nancy McWilliam The Therapeutic Presence In Psychoanalys by Nancy McWilliams Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed – Lori Gottlieb (Sue read this at Dr. McWilliams suggestion and found it hilarious, poignant and much like therapy occurs in real life. Highly recommended.) Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted early release price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are highly interested in deepening the security in ...

TU105: Narcissism – What is Going on Under the Defense with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley

3 oktober 2019 | 45 min

Hey everybody, we are BACK and ready to take off on Season 4!!! Wahoo! Narcissism – This time we focus on how it’s created and what is going on behind the narcissists defenses. Later we will address Malignant Narcissism, which is in a class all to itself! It deserves an entire episode, but for today we will look at what causes it, healthy and pathological degrees of it and what is really going on under the hood of the person afflicted with narcissism. We really heard the requests wanting to hear more about some of the diagnostic pieces of attachment, trauma and the relational sciences. Specifically, narcissism and borderline personality disorder are of great interest to many of you. We put our heads together about how to best do this in a way that honors those who are struggling with these issues and those in relationship with them. To do this, we are going to weave conversations about narcissism and borderline personality disorder throughout the season. It may be snippets in a podcast about something else, or entire episodes focused on these concerns. Today, we’re going to get started on narcissism. Greek version of the myth: Narcissus, was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though, and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow. According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld, looking at the waters of the Styx. Healthy Narcissism (!?) We all have some element of Narcissism and if we don’t, we get run over in life. We don’t want to be a doormat but we also don’t want to be on a High Horse above it all. We all have narcissism, it’s healthy entitlement. Functional narcissism is about your sense of Self, healthy entitlement and being inside yourself, and really rolling with who you are as a person. It’s being confident instead of being overly in-tune to others opinion of you. Problematic Narcissism If it’s a character trait rather than a moment in time, it’s all about defense. This defense protects the smallness and inadequacy and shame at it’s core, and to compensate, grandiosity is born. That or the opposite, which we will discuss, but if I attack the hell out of myself then I protect myself from you having less than positive feelings about me because I beat you to it. Basically, it’s about deriving self-esteem from outside affirmation in order to maintain internal validity. Narcissism is an injury to the Self, where we’ve had to give ourselves up in service of the other or blow ouselves up to feel “enough”. It is associated with the avoidant/dissmissing attachment category, or the blue side of the attachment spectrum. Narcissistic Tendencies Versus a Disorder (from a Psychologist’s Perspective) It’s only in the much higher degree and more rigid degree of the trait that we would call it disordered or problematic. This is NOT a judgment. We mean it’s problematic for the person who suffers from it and that it infiltrates most every relationship to a point that it significantly impairs daily functioning or social relationships. Not that a person with true Narcissistic personality disorder would notice this distress, because everyone around them are “stupid” or “the best.” You can imagine stupid one’s are differentiated from them and the best one’s reflect their version of themselves. Narcissistic Injury: Example: The blue side – (avoidance/dismissive attachment) is a defense, whether we live there or whether we travel there. When we feel very deeply vulnerable but can’t tolerate that experience, we pull into what we call a narcissistic defense to avoid an injury.

TU104: Attachment Science & the Single World With Becki Mendivil (Replay)

25 september 2019 | 55 min

Are you sick of hearing about relationships but interested in attachment? (Or want to deepen your understanding of real world application of the relational sciences while you have a good laugh??!) All the single listeners (think Beyonce) heads up! We are going to break down attachment theory and apply the cool science for all of us…. Continuing in the series on adult attachment, co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP joins Becki Mendivil in a spunky conversation about how attachment affects someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship nor is seeking one, but simply as an individual and a human being. We’ll chat about personal experiences with attachment, how the relational sciences translate to work and parenting with a wide array of anecdotal examples, and dive into the essentials of not remaining in one spot on the attachment spectrum. Becki is self-described as “very blue” so this episode is especially great for those that linger on the avoidant end of the spectrum. Enjoy a great laugh and learn as it unfolds! If you like this you’ll want to be sure and listen to our attachment series, check out episodes 59, 60, and 61! Introduction The problem of assuming someone’s in or seeking a romantic relationship when discussing adult attachment Becki’s giving Therapist Uncensored hosts the what-what on how she reads what we’ve said so far Generational transference of attachment 15:00-30:00: Listening to “The Blue Episode” & Parenting Becki’s experience in listening to the avoidant attachment episode of Therapist Uncensored Seeing the light! Becki’s exeriments to test if this model is actually useful or not. Daughter example. Empathetic silliness unfolds. Sue’s anecdote about her son and changes in attachment Becki affecting change in her physical isolation at work – confronting Sue on therapizing her 🙂 30:00-45:00: Using the Relational Sciences at Work Becki’s wild move towards interacting more directly with peers (!) Avoiding attachment labels/categories as strict definitions of a person Navigating up and down the spectrum of attachment in response to varying types of threats 45:00-60:00: Diving Deeper Attachment disruptions Idea of the “corkscrew” Wrap up and outro Resources: Adult Attachment Styles in the Workplace – Harms, 2011 article Integrating attachment syle, vigor at work and extra-role performance at work -Little, et al 2011 article Individual differences in Work-Related Well Being, the Role of Attachment 2014 Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted pre-sale purchase price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all are welcome to purchase the course. Price increases on October 16, 2019 when it is released. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. We’ve partnered with Audible! Our listeners get a free audiobook plus a 30-day free membership. Cancel at any time! GET MY FREE BOOK! Tweet

TU103: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection (Replay)

15 augusti 2019 | 41 min

Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new? There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make. Kids are naturally curious. As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered! What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have? Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored: Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott, invite you to rediscover curiosity and experience the world and your relationships from a revitalized perspective! Why is Ann so obsessed with curiosity?! Childlike Wonder: Think about how a child sees things for the first time. It’s strictly curiosity. As we get older, the world becomes more predictable. Being “In the Know” vs “In the Unknown” When we think we know a lot, we limit ourselves. It takes a lot of security to be uncertain. The neuroscience of curiosity A willingness to embrace uncertainty and curiosity go hand in hand. Attachment, curiosity, and anxiety How does our attachment style affect our experience? If you feel bodily anxiety in the questions you’re asking, you’re probably not in the right state. How can we learn to become truly curious about someone in a loving way if we lean towards the blue or red side of the spectrum? If we’re on the blue side of the spectrum, how can we move out to a place where we’re curious. If we’re on the red side, how do we move from asking questions out of anxiety to asking out of curiosity? People who are curious about you are attractive, and we can tell the difference if they’re not really interested. You get to be curious about your therapist. Tips to cultivate curiosity: Train your brain Be aware of what’s happening in your body Recognizing judgment Are you judging people when they speak instead of listening to them? This is a kind of cognitive closure. Slow down and stimulate your own curiosity with questions. Look for novelty and discovery in your interactions. Early relationships often break up out of boredom. You can be curious about your anxiety related to asking questions and even share your anxiety with the person making you nervous. Sharing vulnerability brings people together. Cultivate wonder and awe. To review or learn about the different attachment styles, listen to: TU59: Dismissing/Avoidant Attachment – Are You Cool, or just Cut Off? TU60: Preoccupation in Relationships – Grow Your Security by Learning the Signs of Anxious Attachment TU61: It’s Not Crazy, It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem – Disorganized Attachment TU79: Attachment Spectrum and the Nervous System, Quick Review with Updates Who doesn’t love special offers? Our course is now available for a deeply discounted pre-sale purchase price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE approval for clinicians pending), all are welcome to purchase the course. Price increases on September 18th. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. We’ve partnered with Audible! Our listeners get a free audiobook plus a 30-day free membership. Cancel at any time! GET MY FREE BOOK! Tweet

TU102: Finding Neurological Safety through Relationships, with Guest Bonnie Badenoch (Replay)

1 augusti 2019 | 51 min

The Power of Co-Regulation Explore the myth of self-regulation, the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. Learn about using interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and Polyvagal Theory to establish safety and security in therapy and in relationships. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP talks with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00 What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received? Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation. What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of ideal parent figure protocol. Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life. 30:00-60:00 Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response. Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions. It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”? Resources: A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships by Steve Porges! For our listeners! Our long-awaited Advanced Course is launching soon! Purchase today for the lowest price possible. Pre-sale pricing ends September 18. CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Join Us On Patreon For as little as $5 a month you can join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds to gain private, more in-depth episodes AND to support production of this podcast to provide access to the science of relationships across the globe. YES SIGN ME UP FOR PATREON, OR FIND OUT MORE, click here! THANK YOU to all of our current Patrons!! Tweet

TU101: Treating Attachment Disruptions in Adults With David Elliott (Replay)

14 juli 2019 | 49 min

We knew we had to interview Dr. Elliott upon finding his book, Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016). It immediately became Sue’s current favorite read and that is saying a lot! We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially about treatment, but if that still isn’t enough, these show notes are PACKED with PDF’s of great material offered by Dr. Elliott! Below you will find 4 full PDF handouts about the salient ideas of their synthesis of treatment for adults with attachment disruptions. In today’s episode you will hear about why attachment matters, background thoughts on insecurity and prevalence, brand new (to the US) and updated attachment research and then we mostly focus on how to apply all this knowledge with clients with attachment issues, and ourselves. Dr. Elliott introduces our audience to the 3 Pillars of Comprehensive Treatment: Ideal Parent Protocol, Metacognition and Fostering Collaborative Capacity. While he touches on them all, please download the 4 PDF attachments provided below, and start by reviewing the Overview. If for any reason you have trouble getting them, contact us and we will shoot them over to you! Dr David Elliott’s Bio: Dr. Elliott received his Ph.D. in Psychology in 1989 from Harvard University. His clinical training while at Harvard included externships at the Tufts University Counseling Center, the Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic of St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Brighton, Massachusetts, and a clinical psychology internship at McLean Hospital, the psychiatric teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School. He also completed a post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital, where he worked on the Adolescent and Family Treatment Unit and at the hospital’s mental health outpatient clinic. He was licensed as a Psychologist in Massachusetts in 1990, and in Rhode Island in 1993. Recognizing from an early age that there are many dimensions to human experience, any and all of which can contribute to well-being or to difficulty, Dr. Elliott has maintained a commitment to learning and understanding the whole range of human possibility — from the deepest confusions and struggles of psychosis, to the patterns of personality that create personal and relational conflicts, to the development of the self in ways that promote both independence and intimacy, and to higher levels of growth that allow for flourishing and even a recognition of oneself as beyond the limits of the personal self. Four PDFs Overview of the Three Pillars Model of Attachment Treatment (Brown & Elliott, 2016) The Five Primary Conditions that Promote Secure Attachment (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Levels of Metacognitive Skills (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Fostering Collaborative Capacity and Behavior (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Additional resources for this episode: Daniel Brown, co-author of Attachment Disturbances in Adults This is his current website, which focuses on his meditation and spiritual development activities. Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown andDavid Elliott Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview Edited by Howard Steele and Mariam Steele Our favorite clinical reference for those that want to learn much more deeply about using the AAI to treat attachment and learn about its usefulness with various populations. Video of Strange Situation to familiarize yourself with Mary Ainsworth and later Mary Main’s phenomenal work. These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page! If you appreciate this work you can help it continue by becoming a Patron – ie. a super fan, or what we call Neuronerds. Get access to a private community, direct access to us and more content Click here to sign up for as little as $5 a month. You can also help us by subscribing on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify or Podbean to name a few and by leaving a review so others can discove...

TU100: Reflections and Favorites From 100 Episodes

8 juli 2019 | 54 min

100 Episodes and Going Strong! A Review of Our Most Popular and Referenced Episodes Tune in for a review of our listener’s favorite episodes and back stories about the evolution of Therapist Uncensored with co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott. This is a show hosted by 2 therapists who share the most usable science on attachment relationships, psychotherapy, and trauma. It combines both host lead conversations and interviews with top experts in their respective fields – neuroscientists, therapists, researchers, musicians, pop-culture celebrities, and so on – that share their wisdom about relationships. Today we celebrate starting with colleague Patty Olwell, and evolving everything from our messaging, our website, our audio and editing, and our co-host relationship. This is the last show of Season 3, BUT we will be back with new shows by early September. In the meantime, we will be re-playing some of these favorites. We look forward to our next season of deepening our conversations on attachment, neuroscience, polyvagal theory, depth psychotherapy, sexuality, and more! Most Popular Episodes By Everyone, Including Us! Known as “the bundle” of attachment, these episodes summarize the attachment spectrum and have building security at their core. They are, by far, the most referenced, reviewed, and appreciated! Episode 59: Dismissing/Avoidant attachment. Are you cool or just cut off? Episode 60: Preoccupation in Relationships-Grow your security by learning signs of Anxious Attachment Episode 61: It’s not crazy, it’s just a solution to an unsolvable problem – Disorganized Attachment Other Popular Episodes Include: *Note: listed in order of discussion plus a brief summary of the show conversation Episode 54- The Stress Response System –Attachment Across the Lifespan specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging. Stephen Porges – Episode 93: Polyvagal Theory in Action: The Practice of Body Regulation The father of Polyvagal Theory! fat led to groundbreaking shifts in our understanding of how the nervous system responds to threat and trauma. Dan Siegel – Episode 16: Inside The Mind of Dr. Dan Siegel Father of interpersonal neurobiology Discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders. Alan Sroufe – Episode 56: How We Come To Define Ourselves, Attachment Research Across The Decades If you’ve ever wanted to know how much you can predict a person’s development years in advance, then you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Alan Sroufe. his research findings over the years and how insecure and secure attachment tendencies can develop and affect an individual through their lives. Bonnie Badenock – Episode 83: Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships discussed how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Patricia Crittenden – Episode 96, 97, & 98 One of the originators of attachment theory studied under Mary Ainsworth Ep 96: Attachment and Self-protective strategies Ep 97: Dynamic Maturation Model (DMM) Ep 98: Diving deeper into the DMM of Attachment – our summary Stan Tatkin – Episode 12: If It’s Not Good For You, It’s Not Good For Us talking about understanding how attachment plays out in Long term relationships In order to get over hidden shame, you need to expose it to safe people. Shame can only be healed interpersonally. Different cultures social constructions of shame.

TU99: Food, The Body, Trauma, & Attachment With Guests Paula Scatoloni & Rachel Lewis-Marlow

27 juni 2019 | 61 min

What if we flipped the script and learned to see our body as a messenger that needs to be heard rather than an obstacle to be conquered when it comes to our relationship with food? When we take physiological perspective, we learn that the body has much to say not only about food but also emotional regulation and our basic human needs for attachment and defense. Using the sensory information, attachment system and working with defenses. Who are our guests on this episode, you ask? Well here ya go, they are pretty bad-ass and they were interviewed by Dr. Ann Kelley: Paula Scatoloni, LCSW, CEDS, SEP Paula is a somatic-based psychotherapist, Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, and Somatic Experiencing™ practitioner in Chapel Hill, NC. She has worked in the field of eating disorders for over two decades. Paula served as the Eating Disorder Coordinator at Duke University CAPS for nine years and has taught extensively on the etiology and treatment of eating disorders through workshops, professional trainings, and conferences. She co-developed the first intensive outpatient program for eating disorders in the U.S with Dr. Anita Johnston. She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. Rachel Lewis-Marlow, MS, EdS, LPC, LMBT Rachel is a somatically integrative psychotherapist, dually licensed in counseling and therapeutic massage and bodywork. She is a Certified Advanced Practitioner in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and has advanced training and 25+ years of experience in diverse somatic therapies including Craniosacral Therapy, Energetic Osteopathy, Oncology massage and Aromatherapy. Rachel She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. provides ongoing training and supervision to clinical and support staff in the programmatic implementation of the Embodied Recovery model. In her private practice in Chapel Hill, NC, Rachel works with trauma, eating disorders, and dissociative disorders. TU99 Shownotes (are these not awesome or what? Patrons help us be able to do this, thank you you know who you are.) Typical Treatment Model Bio-Psychosocial model Bio: has been usage of pharmacology, re-feeding, nutritional rehabilitation, and yoga Psycho part has been education about emotion and emotional tolerance, dialectical behavioral therapy, supportive therapies to support emotional processing and cognitive distortions, cognitive behavioral treatment to address the distortions, and then try to change the behaviors by changing the cognitions, Social part: family and dynamics around having a place of belonging and one’s sense of belonging in the world, the culture, & the family Usually a treatment team: dietician, a therapist, family therapist, a psychiatrist, a physician Typical View of Recovery Goal: to get somebody to eat a prescribed amount of nutritional food in order to achieve a range of BMI or body size or shape eat it in what we call a normative style, which is a very relative term Focus is on how behaviors are a response to an attitude towards the body itself What’s Missing? Being curious about what the body is saying and expressing through the eating disorder behaviors Shifting the Perspective: The Embodied Recovery Model The Embodied Recovery Model is Somato–Psycho-Social. It expands the role of the body to include anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, movement, and posture. The 5 Core Principles of the Embodied Recovery Model The 5 Core Principles facilitate the intersection between somatic organization, subjective experience of self, and basic human needs for attachment and defense. Shifting from bio-psycho-social model to somato-psycho-social model. Directly resourcing the body so that it becomes a resource in recovery rather than an obstacle to recovery. Collaborate with the body at the physiological level to support the infrastructures that govern emo...

TU98: Dive Deeper into a Model of Attachment Science (the DMM) by Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott

13 juni 2019 | 27 min

Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it into your daily life. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her model called the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM). Focus is on personal and clinical importance in this last of a 3-part series on the DMM. Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Brief Hierarchy of Attachment Theory: There’s a lot of similarity between the more familiar Mary Main et al ABC-D model of attachment and the Patricia Crittenden’s DMM interpretation of attachment, but there are also some very important differences. What’s in A Name? Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) – potentially intimidating mouthful, BUT let’s break it down What it means: Sue and Ann share their take on Dr Crittenden’s walk through the developmental process that happens in attachment from infancy to adulthood. (Listen to Episode 96 and Episode 97). As we mature into different stages of our life, our needs and self-protective strategies (what the DMM helps us learn) we use change accordingly. The beautiful thing about the DMM is the way it incorporates culture, sexuality, key relationships, and danger/safety into the attachment mix. Speaking of safety…. One key difference between the DMM and traditional attachment models is the emphasis on SAFETY rather than SECURITY. According to the DMM: -attachment is about the dyadic relationship in danger, it does not just live in the person -we take in information from the environment (parent in infancy) and shift this into “behaviors” or self-protective strategies. -these strategies develop to protect us. They are our brain’s way of helping us reduce danger and increase connectedness by creating closeness, proximity, and safety. Information Processing -It’s physiological. There are 3 systems: Somatic: what does our body feel…our heart, our stomach feel Cognitive: how we process the information, how do we make meaning Emotional: what’s coming up Bottom line, we can learn from our body. They are connected but not hierarchical. Security = Integration of all 3 of these info systems (Therapist Uncensored’s model ie. getting to the green) The Attachment Spectrum As you move out on the spectrum, (in the DMM, it’s a circle, which is also really cool) we begin to inhibit or exaggerate information based on the response in our environment/the response of our caregivers. We will tend to lean Blue or Red or Tie Dye (check out episodes 59, 60, 61 for more detailed info on each color). NOTE: These colors are Ann and Sue’s Attachment & Regulation Spectrum, not colors from the DMM. It is NOT conscious and forms in the first 2 years via Neuroception. Neuroception (listen to our episode on Polyvagal Theory for more info) tells us, as infants, that if we cry, our caregiver will react a certain way. We inhibit information according to what will keep us safe and bring us closer to our ca...

TU97: The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) of Attachment With Guest Patricia Crittenden (Part 2)

29 maj 2019 | 56 min

Note: This episode is Part 2 of 2. It stands alone, but to start at Part 1 click HERE. “So which strategy in this model is best? Every behavioral strategy is the right strategy for some problem, but no strategy is the best strategy for every problem. We need them all.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. LOOKING FOR THE SLIDES? DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION OR THE POWERPOINT VERSION HERE: Rudiments of the DMM Powerpoint version Or if you have great eyesight :) you can view them here. Therapist Uncensored Episode 97 Show Notes: Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Let’s Dive In: To understand self-protective strategies, we have to understand the information the brain is using, even in infancy – it’s neurological. A’s, the B’s and the C’s emphasize different sorts of information. Strategies by Age Group and Model Representation: Infancy DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A-2: Avoidant A1-2 A1-2 B1-2: Reserved B1-4 B1-4 B3: Comfortable C1 C1-2 B4-5: Reactive D-Controlling C1-2: Resistant/Passive Preschool Preschoolers utilize false positive affect. A’s split their own self from the other, and they focus on the parent. They take the perspective of the powerful person. C’s split their negative affect, showing either the vulnerable or the invulnerable affect. They hide the other from view. DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 B1-2: Reserved C1-2 B3: Comfortable D-Controlling B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless School Age DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 B1-2: Reserved C1-2 B3: Comfortable D-Controlling B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless C5-6: Punitive/Seductive Adolescence DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 A5-6: Compulsively Promiscuous/Self-Reliant C1-2 B1-2: Reserved U/Cannot Classify B3: Comfortable B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive

TU96: Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies With Guest Patricia Crittenden(Part 1)

15 maj 2019 | 42 min

Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies “If it protects you, it’s the right strategy.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. LOOKING FOR THE SLIDES? DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION OR THE POWERPOINT VERSION HERE: Rudiments of the DMM Powerpoint version Or if you have great eyesight :) you can view them here. Are you ready to move from describing injured developmental pathways and symptoms – to addressing how to heal from disrupted development? We are on the case! In this episode co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discusses exactly that with Dr. Patrica Crittenden, founder of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaption (DMM) using culture and context to understand, decode and heal early relational injuries. Their conversation was deep and wide, thus will be published in two sections. In today’s episode, TU96, Dr. Crittenden focuses on wide-reaching cultural aspects of development, safety and danger. She uses decades of observations, assessment, research and clinical work to describe her take on what she refers to as the American Attachment researchers and elucidates how her model is similar and where and why it differs. Dr. Crittenden’s focus on applying this rich research clinically aligns perfectly with the mission of this podcast. Whether you are a clinician, foster parent, educator or are interested for your own personal reasons, you will find her perspective fresh and thought-provoking! Please see the PACKED resources and show notes below! Who is Patricia Crittenden and why do want to know her…. Dr. Mary Ainsworth Dr. Crittenden studied under Mary. D. Ainsworth from 1978 until 1983, when she received her Ph.D. as a psychologist in the Social Ecology and Development Program at the University of Virginia. In addition to Mary Ainsworth’s constant guidance and support, her psychology master’s thesis on the CARE-Index, was developed in consultation with John Bowlby and her family systems research, on patterns of family functioning in maltreating families, was accomplished with guidance from E. Mavis Hetherington. John Bowbly Dr. Crittenden has served on the Faculties of Psychology at the Universities of Virginia and Miami and held visiting professorships at the Universities of Helsinki (Finland) and Bologna (Italy) as well as San Diego State University (USA) and Edith Cowan University (Australia). In 1992 she received a Senior Post-doctoral Fellowship, with a focus on child sexual abuse and the development of individual differences in human sexuality, at the Family Research Laboratory, University of New Hampshire. In 1993-4 she was awarded the Beverley Professorship at the Clark Institute of Psychiatry (Canada). In the last two decades, Dr. Patricia Crittenden has worked cross-culturally as a developmental psychopathologist developing the Dynamic-Maturational Model (DMM) of attachment and adaptation, along with a developmentally attuned, life-span set of procedures for assessing self-protective strategies. She has received a career achievement award for “Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Child and Family Development” from the European Family Therapy Association in Berlin. Currently, Dr. Crittenden’s work is focused on preventive and culture- sensitive applications of the DMM to mental health treatment, child protection, and criminal rehabilitation. Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye),

TU95: Oxytocin & Dogs (& Pets in General) as Attachment Figures

1 maj 2019 | 33 min

Oxytocin and dogs! Our pet relationships provide a trust and bonding boost, and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in love.* In this episode we discuss how to create this moral molecule without even needing complicated human relationships by connecting mutually to our companion pets. What’s not to love about that? The science now is clear – this inter-species relationship is mutually beneficial and potentially life-changing for both of you. Lower cortisol, higher oxytocin, more trust and connection – ba bing! Most of us can relate to having a beloved pet that has been a significant part of our lives. We love them, and the cool thing is, they love us back unconditionally it seems, without regard to our moral failings. In fact, there is now crazy hard science research to back up the power of this connection, particularly regarding dogs. In our last episode, we told you that we’d be talking more about the love drug, oxytocin, and how we can actively induce the release of this hormone in our bodies in order to promote our favorite subject, building security. In this one we get real and walk the walk of vulnerability. So, what do pets, specifically dogs, have to do with oxytocin and building security? Well, security happens through safe connection, and connection both induces the release of oxytocin and is created by it’s presence. This cascade creates a feeling of physiological safety and openness and warmth in our bodies, which helps us to bond and build security. Believe it or not, we can consciously manipulate our body’s release of oxytocin through the bond we create with our beloved pets. And if you’ve been following the podcast, you know this ties into the previous 2 episodes on Polyvagal Theory and our autonomic nervous system. In this episode, join Ann and Sue as they talk about what this experience looks like in real life and how to cultivate the love-drug cross-species. Also hear Sue’s incredibly powerful story of tragic loss, and renewed hope, all related to pets. *Of course we are simplifying a bit – nothing is all good. Oxytocin isn’t always a love-drug, it can cause aggression or feelings of loneliness. For example if the wolves had made eye-contact as the companion dogs did (the wolves made much less eye contact and had no increase in the hormone), it would probably have spiked aggression rather than bonding (an urge to protect their bonded pack rather than attach to the alien human), but we are focusing here on the most major findings of the neuropeptide. Cooper comforting Sue… I know so MANY of you have pets as primaries, it’s a real relationship (scientifically and intuitively) that truly comforts and heals. Episode 95 show notes: Oxytocin – Ann and Sue’s favorite neuropeptide, AKA the cuddle drug, the love drug, the moral molecule. Research shows that the bond we have with our pets is reciprocal. The pleasure center of the brain lights up in us and in our animal partners. Cortisol levels decrease, and oxytocin levels increase in humans and animals when we have high eye contact. The most significant increase (up to almost 300%) is seen with dogs and varies based on breed. It’s an extra boost if we catch our dogs looking at us first. Don’t be embarrassed about your significant other with 4 legs, or less. Hear about bonding with fish, monkey’s picking and humans grooming behavior, and what lice has to do with it all. Dogs and any other beloved pet can be serious attachment figure in our lives, helping us to build a sense of safety and security in the world. It can be a very powerful relationship that is just as strong, and sometimes stronger, than human connections. Granted some people have pets as just animals, an object to guard their home or to rescue or to get dates, but that is totally different from the potential real attachment relationships that in the right circumstances can enhance the li...

TU94: The Science of Self-Regulation – Breaking Down Polyvagal Theory

17 april 2019 | 31 min

The science of relaxing into love, this episode continues the exploration of Polyvagal Theory, one of the most important theories of our generation, especially when it comes to trauma and psychological treatment. Join Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley as they continue to break down and bring Polyvagal Theory to life. Through discussion and real-life examples of what happens when our bodies experience threat, you will learn how to recognize when you or your loved one is experiencing an unconscious physiological threat response as well as some practical self-regulation skills to move back into safety. Additionally, we will begin unfolding how powerful relationships are in helping us establish, maintain and return to a physiological state of safety. It’s true, love really is a drug! Check out TU93b, our interview with Dr Stephen Porges, the father of Polyvagal Theory by clicking here! Why are we so jazzed about Polyvagal Theory (PVT)? PVT looks at the body related to attachment, related to getting close to one another, and to co-regulation and ties it all together! What’s PVT all about? PVT is an evolutionarily based theory that explains how our bodies sense danger and threat and also how we respond. It helps us to understand what is going on physiologically during these times, so we can learn to recognize our bodies’ signals and utilize skills to regulate our nervous system. Polyvagal Theory Breakdown The bottom line is are we safe or are we in danger? Neuroception: Our brains are always scanning for info from the environment that regulates whether we feel safe or not safe. It is spontaneous and completely outside of our awareness. Old View: Only Fight or Flight Response Systems, but that’s outdated. Polyvagal View: We not only have a Fight or Flight Response, we also have a Freeze Response. The Systems and the Vagus Nerve Autonomic Nervous System – Autonomic=Automatic – all the things our bodies do for us without thinking Examples: blinking, digestion, etc… Breathing is the only autonomic process we can manipulate consciously Parasympathetic Para=Paralyzed This is the brake. Sympathetic Energizing Where “Fight and Flight” are Prehistoric example (Old View): being attacked by a saber tooth tiger, response will be to run from it or fight it, literally. Everyday example: A mad spouse, angry boss, disapproving parent Fight=defensiveness, blame, etc. Flight=withdrawing, physically leaving a party, stonewalling The Vagus Nerve Largest nerve in the body All mammals and vertebrates have it, some versions of it in fish Runs throughout our entire body Information Freeway – carries information from scans of the environment to the brain Our Brains: Safety vs Danger Safety: This is the Social Engagement System (The Green Zone) When we are safe, the lights are on all the way to the top of our minds. We are our very best selves. Hearts are open Whole neuro psychological, the biological system is signaling safety: the heart rate slows, breath is steady, able to digest food, make eye contact, have movement in our face so other people can read us, inner ear relaxes, ears relaxes enabling us to pick up human voice very, very well. Danger: When in danger, our brains work in reverse order. breathing quickens and is shallow, heart rate increases, non-vital body functions are shut down, Inner ear constricts because it listening for high tones and low tones – listening for predators, oxygen level decreases, stress hormones (cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenaline) are dumped into system. Neural WiFi: Our unconscious neurological states of feeling safe or feeling threatened translate to the people we interact with, even through the phone. Example: Sue & Ann’s phone conversation Bottom Up: Vagus nerve: picks info up from our body bottom and carries it up to the brain Brain: Safety: top of the mind Can think and reflect down, think about what’s happening and even learn new things Danger: bottom of the mind

TU93: Polyvagal Theory in Action – The Practice of Body Regulation With Dr Stephen Porges

10 april 2019 | 60 min

TU92: Understanding Addiction and Attachment-Informed Treatment With Guests Brad Kennedy & Vanessa Kennedy

15 mars 2019 | 75 min

TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection

1 mars 2019 | 39 min

TU90: Attachment Avoidance and the Difficulty Opening Up, with Robert T. Muller

14 februari 2019 | 44 min

TU89: Neurofluency – with Dr. Lou Cozolino, Applied Neuroscience Made Understandable

31 januari 2019 | 51 min

TU88: 6 Steps to Building Security & Self-Confidence You Can Do On Your Own

24 januari 2019 | 30 min

TU 87: Treating Complex Trauma and Attachment with Guest Dr. Daniel Brown

10 januari 2019 | 54 min

TU86: Mentalization and Regression, Responding to Listener’s Questions with Sue Marriott

21 december 2018 | 33 min

TU85: Attachment in the Classroom with Guest Linno Rhodes

14 december 2018 | 50 min

TU 84: Why Do We Over (or Under) React? The Neurobiological Underpinnings of Attachment Categories

30 november 2018 | 55 min

TU83: Establishing Neurological Safety through Relationships with Guest Bonnie Badenoch

6 november 2018 | 53 min

TU82: The Paradox of Masculinity with Guest Esther Perel

24 oktober 2018 | 29 min

TU81: How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Guest Juliane Taylor Shore

17 oktober 2018 | 50 min

Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary setting. Most of us haven’t been lucky enough to learn to be good at boundary setting naturally, by good examples, so we have to literally be taught how to do this important skill. Well today we are in luck! Jello will be your friend. 🙂
Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and how it relates to boundaries. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create boundaries and how to stay regulated using internal mechanisms. After this podcast, you may very well be on your way towards building your own “Jello wall” and better co-regulating yourself when you’re overwhelmed!
0:00-25:00
Some background on Juliane Taylor Shore: Founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin with interests in interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience, philosophy, biology and physics.
How are boundaries defined and what sort of connotations come with boundaries? How can the connection between boundaries and interpersonal neurobiology actually bring people closer?
The Three Types of Boundaries
External, Behavioral Boundary: “I don’t want to talk to you when you raise your voice at me.” Or “I’d love to see you but I can’t right now.” The concept of having to say “no”.
Psychological Boundary: separation between people, difference between true self and parts of self (“air” between people, your truth and my truth are allowed to be different) “Jello Wall”
Containing Boundary: (individually deeming what’s okay leading up to healthy shame) Boundary that stops you from acting out.
Co-creating boundaries between two people is a great way to negotiate disagreements and find a middle ground.
“Fucked up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not punishments, judgments or betrayals. They’re a purely peaceable thing. The basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors. Boundaries teach people how to treat you and they teach you how to respect yourself.” – Cheryl Strayed (Author of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail)
“Jello wall”: Stop and slow down all the input coming towards you so you can ask, “Is this true or not true?” and “If it is, is this about me or not about me?” This allows you to view the world around you without getting hurt. Allows you space to reflect and be in your own system.
The differences between the logical left brain and abstract right brain influence how they connect neural networks. Healthy shame is important to not beat one’s self up over establishing boundaries.
Using young ones and animals to teach your inner protector parts to have a better containing boundary, relieving trauma by talking to your young self (you at four, sixteen, etc.) rather than beating your present self up.
25:00-50:00
Exploring the connection between attachment and interpersonal neurobiology.
The anticipation of threat before setting a boundary and connecting to something after getting overwhelmed so that it’s part of your life narrative and not something that keeps popping up.
The individual nervous system isn’t meant to survive being alone after trauma but we need co-regulatory nervous systems AND you can be your own co-regulatory system.
You can start by building up your relationship with yourself and learning to trust your internal voices, neural networks or other people.
Examples working through the three types of boundaries; Co-creating a boundary with a spouse over lack of communication. Turning down a panicked client when you’re totally booked. Having uncomfortable physical contact with an older family member whe...

TU:80 Nervous Systems in the News: Dr. Blasey Ford, Sexual Trauma Stories and the Power of Patriarchy

4 oktober 2018 | 24 min

TU79: Attachment Spectrum and the Nervous System, Quick Review with Updates

2 oktober 2018 | 28 min

TU78: The Stress Response System (Attachment) Across the Lifespan – (Replay)

26 september 2018 | 33 min

TU77: Understanding the Mind with Guest Dr. Dan Siegel (Replay)

11 september 2018 | 59 min

TU76: Behind the Scenes with Ann and Sue, Reflections and a Look Ahead

30 augusti 2018 | 10 min

TU 74: Mentalizing – A Critical Component For Secure Relating With Tina Adkins (replay)

22 augusti 2018 | 48 min

TU73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion With Dr Kristin Neff (replay)

15 augusti 2018 | 60 min

TU72: Attachment Parenting Vs. Attachment Science – Clearing up Misconceptions

4 augusti 2018 | 38 min

Finding the middle ground between constantly attending to your child versus letting them learn to self-soothe is a challenge that all parents must face. In this episode, Therapist Uncensored hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP, break down the difference between “Attachment Parenting” and the science of actual Attachment theory. They share key elements from research outcomes that surround many common misconceptions of applying the theory itself.
You’ll learn that the ideals setup by Dr.William and Martha Sears and Richard Ferber might not fully translate in today’s world of parenting and that the way you respond to your child’s needs is a determining factor in how secure they will be later in life.
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0:00-10:00
Introduction
Attachment Parenting is mostly associated with Sears & Sears
Modern research shows that providing children love, kindness and responsiveness results in a more well adjusted person
Attachment Theory: how a child learns that their primary caregiver can safely respond to them when they’re distressed
Attachment parenting by Sears and Sears asserts the importance of the three B’s: Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing, and Baby Sleeping
Attachment is a two-way process between parent and child
10:00-20:00
The three essentials for developing secure functioning
Children use their caregiver to regulate their body until they can do it on their own
Filling children up for exploration and being available for refueling rather than keeping children attached to you continuously
Responsiveness doesn’t have to be so strict and can be attuned to your family’s needs
Attunement builds secure attachment
Children are resilient and will bounce back so don’t feel you have to follow all the rules, make it work for the parent-child dyad. Focus on attunement rather than strict adherence to a technique.
20:00-30:00
Babies sleeping through the night is not necessarily a sign of secure attachment
Sleep training and Ferberizing is not necessarily allowing babies to “cry it out” but is a way of training them to sleep on their own.
Research indicates that babies should not be sleep trained prior to 6 months of age
Learning what your child’s cries mean helps you become attuned to them
Putting children to bed prior to falling asleep allows them to learn to sleep on their own
30:00-40:00
Studies have shown that parent and child’s cortisol levels are both elevated at the start of sleep training but, over time the caregiver’s goes down as the child expresses less distress yet the babies often stay elevated.
No shame parenting allows parents to respond to their children in a way that helps them grow
Children need to learn to get distressed and cry and to be soothed be loving caregivers
“Prepare the child for the path and not the path for the child”
Wrap up and outro
Resources
The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to U...

TU71: Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive

24 juli 2018 | 37 min

What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout?
It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency. However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or lack thereof), pleasure (or lack therefo) and, oh yeah, the mechanics of sex as well.
But don’t sweat it, in this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about talking about sex.
Learn to overcome the difficulties of opening up to yourself and your sexual partner about these very personal and understandably anxiety-filled conversations.
Dr. Susan Ansorge is a practicing psychologist in Austin, TX. Her interest, training and experience in working with sexual issues began during her tenure as a staff psychologist at the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center, and has continued through her 17 years of private practice. Dr. Ansorge was also member of the Austin Women’s Psychotherapy Project, bringing leaders in the field of gender-aware Psychotherapy to the Austin area, as well as presenting locally and nationally on topics in the areas of gender and sexuality as they relate to psychotherapy. Her written work has appeared in the National Center for PTSD Quarterly.
0:00-10:00
Introduction
General difficulties in discussing sex with your partner
Learning to talk about talking about sex
Desire discrepancy and more complicated questions/conversations about sex
The difficulty in beginning a discussion that you are afraid might be hurtful to your partner

10:00-20:00
How best to get dialogue going with your partner about desires and likes/dislikes
When and where is the right place and time for the right conversation about your shared sex life?
How sex is initiated and finding a compatible middle ground
Desires and fantasies can often be considered taboo, but fantasies can also be a gold mine of communication
Difference in fantasies between men and women, women of different ages

20:00-30:00
The element of novelty in women’s fantasies and element of pleasing their partner in men’s fantasies
Part of women’s fantasies is being desired
Caretaking and nurturing is counterintuitive to sexual narcissism
Avoiding arousal/desire censorship

30:00-40:00
How to bring up talking about sex to one’s partner and using available resources
Appreciating one’s partners perspective just like in any communication setting
Wrap up and outro

Resources
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel, former guest on our show.
The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin
Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship by Laurie B. Mintz
Come as You Are by Emily Nagosaki

We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest!
Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice.

TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease.

TU70: Challenge Your “Busy” Identity – Gain Consciousness Over Your Pace

19 juli 2018 | 40 min

Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around? Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness just adds to the stress trap.
As real therapists, we challenge you to not believe what you think. Inquire. It’s healthy to question the stories you tell about yourself and the world… update your model. Check out your story. See if what you tell yourself is still true, or has ever been true. If it’s right there is no problem in questioning, but if you are in a mental rut you wouldn’t know it unless you cache the map and look again.
In this episode we ask you, has being busy become an identity, a badge of honor, or is it simply a fear of being idle? Perhaps an antidote to loneliness? A way to be needed? A VIP? Are you choosing your schedule or feel as if you are being handed it? Is that true? 🙂
Dive deep into an exploration of how our relationship to busyness can distance us from ourselves and those around us.
Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss how a sense of urgency, a desire for a sense of importance, stress, and discomfort are all interrelated in dealing with idleness in your everyday lives. We’ll talk about how you can keep your mind engaged in moments of idleness and how you can make the most of your resting state by truly being idle or through purposeful activity.
0:00-10:00 Introduction Why do our minds want to be busy? How is being busy a culturally dictated status symbol? Choice and sense of urgency effect Purpose, busyness and stress
The psychological discomfort of idleness despite the natural, evolutionary desire to choose it
10:00-20:00 Choosing idleness as a primal need to conserve energy Natural aversion to idleness without purpose The appeal of mindfulness through its intent to bring you something Keeping your brain busy with new skills keeps it healthier in the long run (processing speed, episodic memory)
20:00-30:00Differentiating being full vs. being busy Importance vs. urgency Your brain is always working, even (or especially) in idle times How best to use your resting state
30:00-40:00Learn to be idle rather than occupy your idle time OR move and be active (purposeful l idleness vs. purposeful activity) Boredom and stimulation, meaning and purpose Wrap up and outro

Resources:
Being busy may be good for your brain! Smithsonian Magazine.
The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind
The Busier the Better: Greater Busyness Is Associated with Better Cognition

We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest!
Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice.

TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease. They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service. Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored.

TU69: Exploring Intersecting Genders – What We Can All Learn with Guest Li Brookens

10 juli 2018 | 51 min

TU68: Separation at the Border – Compounding Trauma and Insecurity

2 juli 2018 | 23 min

TU67: A Practical Technique to Calm and Confidence with Guest Richard Hill

25 juni 2018 | 46 min

TU66: Lessons from the Single-Not-Dating World on Using Attachment Science in Real Life, with Guest Becki Mendivil

4 juni 2018 | 53 min

TU65: Sensorimotor Psychotherapy – Tuning Into the Wisdom of Your Body With Guest Dr. Pat Ogden

25 maj 2018 | 54 min

TU64: Mindfulness Meditation with Yoga Therapist Kelly Inselmann, Bonus Episode

16 maj 2018 | 18 min

TU63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann

10 maj 2018 | 41 min

TU62: The Luv Doc – Dating and Relationship Advice from the Trenches with Dan Hardick

1 maj 2018 | 52 min

TU61: It’s Not Crazy; It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem – Disorganized Attachment

24 april 2018 | 36 min

TU60: Preoccupation in Relationships – Signs and Solutions to Anxious Attachment

16 april 2018 | 35 min

TU59: Are You Cool, or Just Cut Off? Dismissing/Avoidant Styles of Relating in Adulthood

3 april 2018 | 35 min

TU58: Improving the Interpersonal World of the Internet for Both Kids and Adults with Guest Catherine Knibbs

28 mars 2018 | 63 min

TU57: Healthy Dating for Women Who Love Women with Guest Pam Greenstone LPC

12 mars 2018 | 58 min

TU56: How We Come to Define Ourselves – Attachment Research Over Decades with Guest Alan Sroufe

6 mars 2018 | 60 min

TU55: Feeling Empty? Demoralization and the Fight Back to Caring Again.

14 februari 2018 | 33 min

TU54: The Stress Response System (Attachment) Across the Lifespan

31 januari 2018 | 32 min

TU53: Complex Trauma and Managing Dysregulation with Guest Robyn Gobbel

17 januari 2018 | 41 min

TU52: Using Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal with Guest Kelly Inselmann

8 januari 2018 | 47 min

TU52.5: Bonus Episode: Meditation to Reduce Stress and Worry

8 januari 2018 | 13 min

TU51: Conquer Shame by Understanding the Science Behind the Feeling, with Guest Expert Dr. Steve Finn

15 december 2017 | 59 min

TU50: The Psychology of an Entrepreneur -Surprising Insights with Guest Krisztina ‘Z’ Holly

7 december 2017 | 53 min

TU49: Five Strategies to Manage Intense Emotions & Why Emotional Regulation Matters

28 november 2017 | 28 min

TU48: Tensions Around #MeToo – Bridging Gender in This Conversation

21 november 2017 | 59 min

TU47: Attachment Insecurity and Secure Parenting with Guest Tina Payne-Bryson

30 oktober 2017 | 46 min

Let's get real about not being a perfect parent or partner so we can do both better!   Regulation before reflection!

NYT best-selling author Tina Payne Bryson talks with Sue Marriott, co-host of Therapist Uncensored about being honest about parenting (& partnering) when you don't have a secure background yourself. They cover constructing a coherent narrative and why that's not really enough, and what needs to be added to the equation. they get into what healthy integration means and how it helps us navigate under stress and in the heat of an argument. They also discuss the grief process in relation to our own parents and how that can open up possibilities of mending old ruptures and creating new growth. Finally they really get into the role of the body over the mind in creating the bottom line, a healthy regulation of self to help others.

Tina Payne Bryson is co-author with Dr. Dan Siegel of The Whole Child Brain, The Yes Brain and No-Drama Discipline and founder of The Center for Connection in Pasadena.  Dr. Bryson keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world, and she has written for numerous publications, for example mom.me, SkillForKids and the PBS series “This Emotional Life.” She has also co-hosted a web-based parenting show and makes frequent media appearances at venues like TIME, “Good Morning America,” Huffington Post, Redbook, The New York Times, and Real Simple. She is the Child Development Specialist at Saint Mark’s School in Altadena, the Director of Parenting Education at the Mindsight Institute, the Director for Child Development for Camp Chippewa in Cass Lake, Minnesota, and the Child Development Director for Lantern Camps. Tina earned her LCSW and Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology.

Listen to the first one, Episode 27 Raising Secure Children here.

TU46: Redefining Infidelity – Guest Esther Perel on Love and Desire in Modern Relationships

24 oktober 2017 | 51 min

TU45: Music, Emotion and Therapy- Interview with Bob Schneider, Austin Music Legend

18 oktober 2017 | 63 min

TU44: Your Brain on Music – How Music Affects Your Mind, Memory and Happiness

9 oktober 2017 | 35 min

TU43: Sexual Vitality – Six Principles of Sexual Health with Doug Braun-Harvey (Part 2 of 2)

26 september 2017 | 39 min

TU42: Sexual Vitality, Refreshing our Understanding of Sexual Health with Doug-Braun Harvey (Part 1 of 2)

19 september 2017 | 52 min

TU41: The Dark Side Of Therapy – Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad

31 augusti 2017 | 40 min

IN THIS EPISODE:
The Dark Side Of Therapy: Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad
Show Note

Queue Darth Vader music… we admit it, not all therapy is good therapy. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss the potential negatives in the therapeutic relationship – focusing on how a client might distinguish between good therapy, that’s tough at times and a genuinely dysfunctional relationship.   The difference between healthy dependency and one that erodes your sense of self is unpacked, as well as the idea of safe vulnerability that leads to change. Finally, they name the truth that one can feel held hostage by the therapist and the darker more harmful effects that can happen when therapy goes bad.
Timeline
0:00 – Intro/Podcast Conference
2:48 – Recap on Episode 39 Therapeutic Relationship
3:41 – Introduction to dark side of therapy
4:12 – Types of discredited therapies: Conversion Therapy (coercive therapy that intends to change someone’s sexual orientation) Good therapy intends to assist self-exploration and colorful self expression
5:16 – Repressed memory therapy – Not helpful therapy and has potential to have traumatic outcomes.
6:12 – Sometimes therapists abuse role in exploitative way – Make sure your therapist is licensed and accredited
7:17 – What is good therapy that is hard and what is a dysfunctional relationship? It can be hard to tell the difference. Those who have experienced relational injuries and then begin to feel safe with the therapeutic relationship might feel unsafe and begin to evoke and enact what they need help healing. Therapists want to help you listen to your gut.
10:12 – Go for the connection in the therapeutic relationship and talk about relationships and attachment. Having a new experience where patient can unfold and be more themselves and be understood & recognized for who they are is in essence, therapy. Beginning to know what you think and feel already begins work on trauma.
11:51 – One of the dangers of working deeply especially with trauma is if it moves too quickly.   Sometimes the patient can feel like they’re being held captive by the therapist or acting as a narcissistic extension of the therapist
12:47 – Narcissistic Extension – Therapists as humans have their own needs and desires to be helpful but the client can potentially feel need to satisfy and gain approval from therapist in power differential.
15:43 – Therapists are in a position to keep clients hostage through barring the door by making clients feel guilty or shamed for trying to leave – Therapists need to understand desire to leave and affirm right to do so. Exploration is good but guilt and shame is something else. Respect boundaries of patient. Allow them to explore the urge to leave or to act and leave. If it was wrong move they will figure that out and return on their own accord to you or someone else to resume.
22:12 – Sometimes clients can be difficult but this is healthy and normal. Discomfort directed at the therapist or expression of suicidal ideation can sometimes lead to a premature end to the therapeutic relationship. Therapist-initiated termination is a huge risk and always complicated and potentially harmful.
24:31 – Boundaries are important to talk about in the therapeutic relationship. No romance, sexuality or bargaining. Letting the boundaries slowly slip a little bit and eventually crossing the line can be extremely harmful to clients. Doing something like stopping a session on time despite making ground or even just collecting payment are healthy, loving professional acts in the relationship.
28:43 – Basic goal for patients in therapy: you should be getting better, not feel shamed intrinsically from relationship. One can expect positive, challenging, growth-enhancing language from therapist.

TU40: Meditation And Neuroplasticity Provide a Path To Healing – An Interview With Sarah Peyton

22 augusti 2017 | 38 min

IN THIS EPISODE:
Meditation And Neuroplasticity Provide a Path To Healing: An Interview With Sarah Peyton
Show Notes

Patty Olwell interviews Sarah Peyton, author of Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations & Exercises to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity for Healing on the neuroscience of language and emotions. Their discussion covers Sarah’s background in non-violent communication and her more recent work with the impact of specific interventions and meditations to foster brain plasticity and empathy towards ourselves and others. They explore what kinds of language can we use that lets brains relax and move into a space of fluidity? How does this relate to healing from trauma? What kind of language do we use with ourselves to develop empathy? How do we develop an inner voice of understanding rather than self-criticism?

Timeline
0:00 Intro
1:44 – What drew Sarah Peyton to this work – First non-violent communication (Marshall Rosenberg) Rosenberg weekend – first time hearing that use of language
3:51 – How non-violent communication works like therapy – a place where people listen rather than just try to problem solve – what happens when you use feeling words & how it changes the activity of the amygdala – (Matthew Lieberman)
4:40 – Matthew Lieberman study of facial expressions –when you accurately name the facial expression/emotions you’re seeing, the activity in the amygdala falls by half- people using language differently put Peyton into a space of fluidity (there is always an amygdala response to intense facial expressions)
5:29 – Daniel Siegel – Name it to tame it – Why does this work?
6:02 – What kinds of language do we use that lets brains relax and move into a space of fluidity? How does this relate to healing from trauma? How are brains impacted by trauma? Language as the neurotransmitters of human-ness – Verbal & nonverbal communication between two people
8:45 – Shift of focus from communication to brains – Daniel Siegel’s The Developing Mind, The Neurobiology of We
10:30 – How are we moved & changed by the words we use with one another?
12:00 – Dan Siegel’s contingent communication – how do our words reflect that we actually heard the other person? This quality comes through very subtly even in written communication
14:37 – Study of how Sarah Peyton used words with her children revealed the breaks & chasms between getting business of life done and having a relational connection
15:52 – What kind of language do we use with ourselves? Matthew Lieberman’s work with the default mode network. How do our minds think when there’s nothing else to process? When the brain is not directed towards something in particular, it reverses to default network.
18:07 – What is the automatic voice of our brain and can it be changed?
19:32 – Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations & Exercises to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity for Healing – Speaking unkindly to yourself – Importance of warmth in language – Trauma impacts the default network – experiences of being alone create default networks that are trying to help us – How do we turn towards voice of understanding rather than self-critical voice?
22:31 – How to be precise with language: To be precise with what the feeling tone is. To be precise with what the deep longing is: survival, thriving, peace, room to grow, capacity to have your own timing, etc. Precision with what the timing of the trauma is – that the trauma is no longer happening – By using the past tense, the brain is using precision – What’s so upsetting is in the past and getting acknowledgment
25:01 – People often say yes most often when asked if they’re seeking acknowledgment for what happened in the past. Bonnie Badenoch’s study of Nepalese boy soldiers All boy soldiers had the same experience but the boys who went home to environments wher...

TU39: Getting What You Want From Therapy – The Essentials Of A Therapeutic Relationship

14 augusti 2017 | 39 min

IN THIS EPISODE:
Getting What You Want From Therapy: The Essentials Of A Therapeutic Relationship
Show Notes
Dr. Ann Kelley, Sue Marriott & Patty Olwell chat about the importance of building a strong therapeutic relationship with clients. We’ll discuss how feelings of love, hate, disappointment, excitement and more between a therapist and a patient are not only normal, but even potentially essential to working towards healing. They break-down counter-transference and how mutual influence works to help clients grow.
Timeline
0:00-0:27 Intro Questions
0:27- Possibilities for Therapist-Client relationship (potential for harm from power differential in the relationship OR neural sculpting) – When choosing a therapist, be prepared to be changed by this new relationship. Therapists are permanently changed once attached to clients – mutual sculpting
1:53 –Old analytic model of psychotherapy – therapist as flat, neutral agent. Therapist actually can influence the client. Relationship as we know it now is not unidirectional – the most healing agent is the relationship in psychotherapy.
2:30 – How to pick a therapist – interview several
2:54 – What to do if you’re experiencing love, hate, disappointment, excitement, etc. in a relationship with your therapist The General Theory of Love – it’s normal to feel these feelings and it also may be essential to the healing agent
4:36 – Now that you understand these feelings are normal – what next? Talk about them with your therapist – express your feelings, then let process begin – However this experience may be regressive and if the therapist isn’t willing to help you may have to move on
6:44 – How to discern when emotional events are part of the therapeutic process of working through past trauma or when it’s harmful and retraumatizing
Hope to have a different outcome than in the past – We can learn that we have difficult feelings or conflicts but it doesn’t have to end the relationship. It is possible to talk about and process these feelings with your therapist.
8:22 Discerning between healthy and unhealthy emotions in relationship Openness & willingness to talk through – Discomfort is part of journey towards healing
9:20 – Difference between feeling uncomfortable and actually being unsafe – Nesting Dolls – Problem of acting or thinking a certain way only around therapist versus outside the office
11:00 – Feeling safe, then feeling vulnerable when seeking advice in therapy
11:57 – Therapists need to follow the clients lead when someone comes in seeking career advice or a quick fix for a problem – If client isn’t ready or interested in deep processing we can move as quickly or as slowly as they need.
13:05 – Therapists want patients to find answer themselves, but often also want to be helpful – problem of giving/expecting advice
14:37 – Counter-transference – Therapists feelings get brought up – Therapy as an interpersonal dance
20:30 – Sue’s anecdote about the pay less price tag – compared to being in a family where you can’t name the embarrassing/traumatizing element in your life
22:31 – See therapist in a way that allows client to express emotions
27:00 – Empathy in therapists – don’t want to deny clients the power position in power differential
27:51 – As a client there’s a felt need to not have to take care of therapist in terms – expectation of a certain level of maturity, experience, intelligence, etc. ; have a bigger, stronger other that allows you to be “messy”
28:30 – How and why a boundary is important in a therapeutic relationship – need to feel safe – Frame (time, space, money) – Frame will not be broken
31:03 – Wrap up: All these thoughts & feelings are acceptable – Talk about them with therapist and if they can’t handle it then consider a new one – but first tell your therapist you’re frustrated and you’re...

TU38: The Blended Family – How to Create Strong and Lasting Step-Family Relationships

26 juli 2017 | 55 min

IN THIS EPISODE:
The Blended Family: How to Create Strong and Lasting Step-Family Relationships
Show Notes

This episode breaks it down by debunking the most popular myths and giving specific do’s and don’ts to help you create secure long-lasting families no matter their origin.
Blended Family Myths
Wicked stepmothers and red-headed step children – our psyche with the help of Disney often portrays step-families through a suspicious lens. However, only 23% of families are made up of two heterosexual biological parents in their first marriage. So called “weird” families such as blended, same-sex parents, adoption and foster, grandparents parenting, polyamorous and so on are the new normal. Adults living with biologically unrelated children have unique challenges, and in this episode we focus specifically on blended families. Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss common myths as well as tips toward achieving a healthy blended family bond. We unpack the tensions that often emerge as two cultures come together and deliver practical solutions for how to avoid pitfalls and build a foundation that helps the process of reconstituting a new gaggle go smoother. Also, gender and developmental differences are discussed –
you may be surprised that sons and daughters respond differently. Finally same-sex headed families are also discussed, the unique strethgs and challenges within these families. Hey glbtq – headed parents out there – don’t worry we totally have your back. We
are all about it and are working on an entire episode on the beautiful and unique gifts of glbtq families coming to your podcast player soon.
Timeline
0:50 – Intro
2:27–Blended family
3:52–Myth 1 of Blended Families: Stepfamilies are not as healthy as “real” families.
5:50–Why children struggle more than those in first-marriage, intact families andhow to prevent it
7:26–Effect of divorce on children–socio-economic drop and severe change of
routine should be prevented
8:34–Whatever you do, don’t mess with the mind of the child in how they see theother parent (ie.alter the child’s internalized image of the other parent).
9:50–Myth 2 of Blended Families: Stepfamilies break up more often and that is a bad thing
13:36–Myth 3 of Blended Families: Children who come from divorced and thenblended families will likely struggle in life. (All families have problems–step families are just more exposed and therefore vulnerable)
14:45–Difference between boys & girls transitions becoming stepchildren
17:00–Time helps everyone–How can we expedite the process of feeling like afamily and speed up the process?
17:50–When parent’s sense of fantasy and pressure to get it right and rushing the process leads to combustible outcomes.

18:50–Being around parents that are overtly affectionately in love can be difficult for children and may increase the tension within the child or between the child andparent/stepparent. Many times children haven’t seen parents fall in love
21:25–Idealized fantasy of second marriage & pressure to get it right the 2nd time around
22:23–Blending families = blending two cultures (Don’t try to create one united front)
27:50–Differences in administering discipline is a frequent source of conflict in
blended families (Permissive parents vs. boundary-setting parents)
28:50–Don’t step into direct-disciplinary role for the first year as a step-parent. Working towards a non-polarized, firm, loving place where child still has boundaries
33:05–The more stuck a child gets in an outside position, more potentially damaging (Bio parent & step parent need to have empathy for child who might be shifted into an outside position)

TU37: Organizing The Disorganized – Understanding The Elusive Attachment Category

18 juli 2017 | 26 min

IN THIS EPISODE:
Organizing The Disorganized: Understanding The Elusive Attachment Category
Show Notes

Disorganized attachment states of mind happen to us all. We temporarily get lost in a jumble and it’s difficult to track what is happening… but for some this is a more serious concern that can reflect much of how we feel much of the time. By popular request, we begin to unravel the last attachment category and update current thinking that includes those who have unresolved trauma, loss or have had caregivers who were frightening.

Disorganized Attachment
In this episode, Sue Marriott, Patty Olwell and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss this oft-overlooked fourth category; disorganized attachment and how it affects our adult lives. We go over it’s development and move to our current thinking on what it includes. We’ll talk about how attachment is formed as a survival skill and how loss, trauma and frightening caregivers transport individuals to disorganized spaces. Towards the end you’ll learn how relationships can provide safety and security in neurobiological terms, and how you can affect change for yourself or a loved one.
Timeline
0:00 -1:53 Intro
1:53 – 3:49 Quick review of attachment & underlying organized dynamics (Secure & Insecure) Insecure attachment (Insecure Preoccupied & Insecure Avoidant)

3:49 – 4:18 Data on attachment and historical figures (John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Mary Main)
4:18 – Attachment as biological imperative & cross cultural – everyone has an attachment system
4:59 Three distinct categories – The addition of the fourth distinct disorganized attachment category (The Strange Situation)
6:54 – The problem of disorganization in adults rather than children (update) – Applying data to real life individual people – Disorganization/attachment as a spectrum
7:59 – How can we begin to move towards the middle (secure) including the disorganized?
9:32 – Buckets instead of a category
10:19 – What does disorganized attachment look like in an adult? What does “unresolved” mean? Losing mentalization & context, disorganization in parents
11:59 – Frightening caregivers – Deborah Jacobvitz
12:51 – Moving unresolved into resolved space – Narrative coherence (resolved) Unresolved taking too much information forward so you can’t forget about the stress event or events bad (in the form of nightmares, intrusions, and pre-occupations)
15:03 Other side of unresolved – avoidance of incident/trauma
16:09 – Children with trauma don’t have narrative coherence – body remembers incident but it’s fragmented
17:09 = Clinicians that came in after Ainsworth Main and Bowlby – Patricia Crittenden (student of Ainsworth). Keeping the caregiver available.
20:09 – Finding an organized state balanced between thinking and feeling
21:00 – What to do in order to heal (developing trust is key to healing)
22:00 – Biology of attachment

23:00 – Free Online Course on Modern Adult Attachment coming soon, along with
others that will include Advanced Studies – join the waiting list for the free course at
www.therapistuncensored.eventbrite.com
25:47 – Outro

Therapist Uncensored Online Course – Reserve your spot now!
In addition if you enjoyed this, we will be providing much more from a synthesis of the latest and greatest ideas out there for intervention, prevention and clinical work for those of us that didn’t come by secure relating in the old-fashioned way, from parents.
For those that are having to work to earn it or who treat people with attachment insecurities, we have an online course coming up soon. Email us at [email protected].

TU36: The Neuroscience Of Psychotherapy – An Interview With Louis Cozolino

10 juli 2017 | 32 min

TU35: Sexuality From A Neurobiological Perspective

29 juni 2017 | 48 min

TU34: Treating Attachment Difficulties with Dr. David Elliott

21 juni 2017 | 50 min

TU33: Adverse Childhood Experiences – A Roadmap To Understanding And Treatment

16 juni 2017 | 18 min

TU32: Mentalizing – Breaking Down A Critical Component For Secure Relating With Tina Adkins

24 maj 2017 | 56 min

TU31: Attachment on a Spectrum – Navigating Adult Insecurity and Security

17 maj 2017 | 40 min

TU30: The Stages of Change – A Roadmap to Readiness

10 maj 2017 | 28 min

TU29: Understanding Adolescent Self-Consciousness From A Brain-Wise Perspective

3 maj 2017 | 29 min

TU28: Minding Anxiety-How To Reduce Noise In The System

28 april 2017 | 35 min

TU27: Raising Secure Children With Guest Tina Payne Bryson

18 april 2017 | 34 min

TU26: Live Conversation With Austin In Connection About Interpersonal Neurobiology

3 april 2017 | 37 min

TU25: Ping Pong Vs. Catch: Turning Communication from Competition to Connection

27 mars 2017 | 31 min

TU24: Grief And Our Body’s Wisdom On Surviving It With Candyce Ossefort-Russell

20 mars 2017 | 59 min

TU23: Building Grit Through Self Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

1 mars 2017 | 60 min

TU22: Love Letter To Group Psychotherapy

20 februari 2017 | 9 min

TU21: Reduce Drama in Your Life – Unpack The Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer In Us All

13 februari 2017 | 22 min

TU20: Developing Racial Identity With Guests Rudy Lucas And Christine Schmidt

1 februari 2017 | 50 min

TU19: Increase Your Cool By Managing Your Ventral Vagal System

24 januari 2017 | 36 min

TU18: Polyvagal Theory: Understanding Irrational Threat Responses in Relationships

18 januari 2017 | 27 min

TU17: The Biology of Motivation and Habits – Why We Drop the Ball

11 januari 2017 | 31 min

TU16: Inside The Mind Of Dr. Dan Siegel- An Interview

4 januari 2017 | 59 min

TU15: Decoding The Science Of Interpersonal Neurobiology

13 december 2016 | 33 min

TU14: How To Handle Post Election Tensions – Tips For The Holidays And Beyond

21 november 2016 | 36 min

TU13: Our Powerful Fascination With Narcissism In The Era Of Trump

4 november 2016 | 57 min

TU12: If It’s Not Good For You; It’s Not Good for Us – Interview With Relationship Expert Stan Tatkin

1 november 2016 | 55 min

TU11: Gain Influence and Balance Power in Important Relationships

27 oktober 2016 | 30 min

TU10: The 7 Circuits of Emotion – What Animals Can Teach Us About Human Relating

11 oktober 2016 | 32 min

TU09: Minding Your Relationship- Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner

4 oktober 2016 | 24 min

TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers – Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

28 september 2016 | 28 min

TU07: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It

19 september 2016 | 19 min

TU06: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships (continued)- Attachment 101 Part 2

8 september 2016 | 26 min

TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships – Attachment 101 Part 1

8 september 2016 | 33 min

TU04: A Simple Technique to Reduce Stress and Worry: Mindful Awareness Practice in Action

29 augusti 2016 | 6 min

TU03: Different Sex Drives – Are We Screwed?

21 augusti 2016 | 43 min

TU02: Brain Science 101 – How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationship

14 augusti 2016 | 28 min

TU01: Brain Science & Communication

7 augusti 2016 | 33 min

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Two Austin therapists and their world-recognized guest experts break down modern attachment, relational neuroscience and trauma in a challenging but entertaining format designed to keep you off uncons...

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Rediscovering Play for More Secure Connections with Children – and Adults (256)

Could the key to raising resilient, connected kids be as simple as play?

“The oldest evolutionary pathways in the brain are nonverbal. Your actions always speak louder than words when it comes to your child’s mind.” – George Wisen-Vincent

Time Stamps for Playful Parenting: Building Resilience, Connection, and Joy Through Play (256)

About our Guests

Resources for Playful Parenting: Building Resilience, Connection, and Joy Through Play (256)

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Family Estrangement, Spiritual Harm & the Ethics of AI in Therapy with Matthias Barker (255)

Hello 2025! Kicking off the year exploring family estrangement, AI in therapy & much more…

“We inherit more than genetics from our families—we inherit patterns, beliefs, and ways of relating. Healing means choosing which ones to keep and which ones to let go of.” – Matthias Barker

Time Stamps for Family Estrangement, Spiritual Harm, & the Ethics of AI in Therapy with Matthias Barker (255)

About our Guest – Matthias Barker

Resources for Family Estrangement, Spiritual Harm, & the Ethics of AI in Therapy with Matthias Barker (255)

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

2024 Reflections: Growth, Connection & Celebrating Community (254)

Farewell 2024 and welcome 2025…

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” — Hal Borland

Time Stamps for 2024 Reflections: Growth, Connection & Celebrating Community (254)

Resources for 2024 Reflections: Growth, Connection & Celebrating Community (254)

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Thank you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Embodied Dying: Embracing the Sacred Union Between Life & Death (253)

Explore eco-village living, tantra, and death

“The deep practice of tantra helps consciously engage with the inevitability of death.” – Lee Warren

Time Stamps

About Our Guest – Lee Warren, Death & Tantra Educator

Resources for Embracing the Sacredness of Death

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

The Power of Acceptance & Commitment (ACT Therapy) with Dr. Diana Hill (252)

Transform conflict into connection with ACT

“We don’t battle thoughts. We don’t challenge thoughts. We just let thoughts go, and we can act independently from our thoughts.” – Dr. Diana Hill

Time Stamps for ACT

About our Guest – Dr. Diana Hill

Resources for ACT

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

AEDP Therapy: Engaging with Emotions & Experiences with Dr. Diana Fosha (251)

Let’s talk about all things AEDP

“The basic quality of emergent experience is a surrender to the experience of flow, of being in the zone.”

– Dr. Diana Fosha

Time Stamps for AEDP

About our Guest – Dr. Diana Fosha

Resources for AEDP

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Our Sponsors for this Episode –

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Understanding Post-Election Distress – with Michael Hilgers (straight white guy) (250)

Many are baffled by the so strong feelings around the 2024 election results – let us help you get it.

Time Stamps for Aftermath of the Election

About our Guest – Michael Hilgers, LPC

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

Secure Relating & the Election: Fostering Connection in Political Division (249)

The election tension can be divisive – but we don’t have to be

“We are resilient beings and we will get through this.”

Time Stamps for Secure Relating & the Election

Resources for Secure Relating & the Election

And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!

Events, Announcements & Resource Links for Secure Relating & the Election

Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode –

Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!

LIVE from KUYA Wellness: A Discussion on Secure Relating & Tough Conversations (248)

Our first ever LIVE podcast recording