80 avsnitt • Längd: 40 min • Månadsvis
A podcast about fertility, family and genetics hosted by Jana Rupnow, LPC, a fertility, donor conception and adoption psychotherapist.
The podcast Three Makes Baby Podcast is created by Jana M Rupnow, LPC. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
International Donor Conception Awareness Day (IDCAD) is coming up on April 27, 2025, and in this episode, I’m sharing how you can get involved in this growing global movement. Whether you're a parent, a donor-conceived person, a professional, or simply an ally, there’s a meaningful way for you to participate.
IDCAD is about lifting the shame and secrecy around donor conception and centering the voices of those with lived experience. This year, partners from the U.S., U.K., Australia, Canada, and beyond are joining in to raise awareness and advocate for more ethical, transparent practices in donor conception.
In this episode, I cover:
Why IDCAD was founded and what it stands for
How to participate on April 27 — from sharing the logo to posting your story using #IDCAD
Why now is a great time to tell your child if you haven’t already
Ways professionals and parents can contribute to real change
Resources mentioned:
Three Makes Baby Book-How to Parent Your Donor Conceived Child
Let’s make this year's IDCAD the biggest yet. Together, we can move toward a more open, inclusive, and human-centered future for donor conception.
In this special episode, fertility counselor Jana Rupnow invites Dr. Diane Tober, a medical anthropologist and associate professor at the University of Alabama, to discuss the intricate dynamics of egg donation. Dr. Tober delves into her research on egg donors and the global market for human eggs, providing insights into the experiences and challenges faced by donors.
Dr. Tober shares compelling stories from her book "Eggonomics," including her eye-opening experience in a Spanish clinic observing an egg retrieval procedure, which shed light on the vulnerability and lack of recognition experienced by donors.
Listeners will learn about the biopolitics of donor conception, the motivations and socioeconomic backgrounds of donors in the U.S. and Spain, and the ethical challenges surrounding donor anonymity and informed consent. The conversation emphasizes the need for better donor care and transparent practices, encouraging recipient parents to advocate for their donors and understand the long-term implications of donor-assisted conception.
In this heartfelt episode, I speak with Angela, an egg donor who shares her medical scare that could impact the lives of the children born from her donations.
As an egg donor beginning in 2010, with children herself, she share her challenges with anonymity and the feelings she has had since donating, including the responsibility she feels to inform the children born from her donations of a potentially heritable condition.
Angela advocates for better transparency and communication within the egg donation field. This episode is a powerful reminder of the interconnectedness of our actions and the lives we touch.
Host Jana Rupnow engages in a compelling conversation with Dr. Jill Maron, Chief of Pediatrics at Women's and Infant Hospital and Professor of Pediatrics at Brown University. Dr. Maron shares her unique perspective as both a neonatologist and a donor-conceived individual, offering a deeply personal account of discovering her genetic origins at the age of 46.
Dr. Maron discusses the ethical implications of DNA testing for donor-conceived children, the unregulated donor system in the United States, and the psychological burden that can accompany genetic revelations. She also highlights the importance of protecting children's autonomy and ensuring responsible practices in the field of reproductive technology.
Listeners will gain valuable insights into the complexities of genetic testing, the responsibilities of parents and medical professionals, and the need for greater regulation to safeguard the well-being of donor-conceived individuals. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersection of genetics, ethics, and the lived experiences of donor-conceived people.
Lindsay, a donor-conceived individual. continues to share her perspective on International Donor Conception Awareness Day, 2024.
Learn one person's perspective on controversial issues like donor anonymity, DNA testing, health information, and emotional ramifications. She shares how genetics significantly influence our sense of self and how comprehending biological lineage can be not only revealing but also liberating.
importance of early and open conversations with donor-conceived children, fostering understanding, and acceptance. This episode highlights the integral role of a donor in a recipient's identity formation and underscores the shared responsibility of parents to acknowledge and celebrate their child's complete genetic heritage.
This epi will help you understand the nuances, challenges, and inherent beauty of donor conception. Listen in as my guest shares her heart-stirring commitment to help people understand the realities and implications of being donor conceived.
In concurrence with International Donor Conception Awareness Day, this episode aims to promote the narrative of the donor-conceived community. Tune in, learn, and embrace the essence of valuing the voices of the donor-conceived community, this year's IDCAD theme.
It's the 4th annual International Donor Conception Awareness Day and in line with the theme, "Valuing the Voices of Donor Conceived People" I welcome Lindsay again, a donor-conceived individual, to share her profound story of self-discovery and conception. Lindsay talks about her journey and the transformation in her perspective over time. Lindsay’s story serves as a prominent example of the shifting dynamics in the discourse around donor parents and donor-conceived individuals and it defines the essence of our conversation. Follow Lindsay's narrative as she ventures through years of uncertainty, exploration and affirmation, grappling with complex emotions and a deep-set longing for her biological roots. Throughout her journey, Lindsay confronts ethical boundaries, familial tensions and sweeping revelations, all stemming from the simple yet profound fact of her donor conception. The conversation touches on how Lindsay discovered she was donor-conceived, her experience navigating the terrain of sibling discoveries, and her encounter with a 'public eye' biological parent who won't acknowledge her. Lindsay's story adds another layer of truth to the unspoken narratives of donor-conceived individuals, highlighting their quiet struggles and the need for donor conception education and transparency. Tune in for what promises to be a thought-provoking discussion.
From unequal power dynamics in the fertility industry to the concept of genetic genealogy, we delve deep into our perceptions of identity, inheritance, and belonging. Visit donorconceptionawarenessday.com for more info.
The future of donor conception is here! This episode features my special guest Danielle of The Seed Scout. She shares her and her wife's path to parenthood, including the challenges they faced with sperm banks.
Danielle and her wife's path to parenthood took them through the maze of sperm banks, encountering impersonal processes that left them feeling disconnected. Fueled by this experience, they opted for a known donor, taking control of their process and creating a better way for others. We explore their challenges, shedding light on the significance of openness in genetic origins and the importance of updated medical histories for donor-conceived individuals and their families.
With a deep understanding of LGBTQ+ needs, Danielle shares invaluable insights into the legal complexities of parental rights in donor conception. She addresses potential parents' concerns about privacy. Sharing how known donors can enrich your family's story without intruding on your personal life.
The Seed Scout leverages their expertise to guide clients through every step of the process, ensuring a smooth and informed journey. Connect with them on social media @theeseedscout
After taking some time off for several positive life transitions in 2023, Jana returns to her podcast with a bang!
To kick off season 4, she's chatting with the multi-talented Erin Maya – actress, producer, composer, and the brains behind The Complete Picture Musical, a groundbreaking show about donor conception. Together, they unpack the birth of this musical gem and explore the complexities of donor conception, busting myths and shedding light on what it's really like.
Trust is a big theme here, especially when it comes to the bond between parents and donor-conceived kids. Erin shares her own journey, from grappling with her identity to owning it with pride, showing us that trust and open communication are game-changers.
This episode gives us a glimpse into the overlapping themes of those touched by adoption and donor conception. As an adoptee, Jana shares her own story of reconnecting with her biological father, showing us the highs and lows of the experience, including the immense love and loyalty she has for her dad, the one that raised her.
In the end, it's all about the power of honest conversations. Whether you're navigating donor conception yourself or just curious about it, this episode is a must-listen for its invaluable insights and heartfelt storytelling.
If you're interested in watching the entire concert, simply email [email protected] for the link. She would appreciate any donations in return. You can send your donations to the musical's Venmo account @thecompletepicturemusical. For more information and updates about The Complete Picture, follow the show on Instagram @thecompletepicturemusical or visit our website at www.thecompletepicturemusical.com. If you'd like to get involved, please reach out to Erin at [email protected].
April 27, 2023 is International Donor Conception Awareness Day.
Link to IDCAD2023: https://donorconceptionawarenessday.com/
Link to educational courses for parents and CEUs for professionals
CEUS: https://three-makes-baby-preparation-and-parenting.teachable.com/p/home
Fertility challenges can cause intense feelings that make you want to withdraw and hide. It’s important to understand the difference between secrecy and privacy and how the shame of infertility may live on.
Secrecy is when you actively withhold information from others, often out of fear or shame. This can be detrimental to your mental health and relationships as it creates a sense of isolation and can lead to feelings of guilt and shame. It takes a lot of effort and energy to maintain a secret, and the longer you keep it, the more it can weigh you down.
On the other hand, privacy is when you choose to keep certain information to yourself or within a trusted circle. This can be a healthy way to protect your personal boundaries and maintain control over your own life. It’s important to remember that you have the right to privacy, and it’s okay to set boundaries around what you share with others.
If you’re struggling with fertility challenges, it’s important to find a support system that you trust and feel comfortable opening up to. This could be a therapist, support group, or trusted friends and family members. By sharing your experiences and feelings with others, you can find a sense of community and support that can help you navigate this difficult time.
While it’s important to protect your privacy, it’s also important to recognize when secrecy is doing more harm than good. By opening up and sharing your struggles with others, you can find the support and understanding you need to overcome fertility challenges and move forward with your life.
#IDCAD2020 #movingtips secrecy #privacy #fertilitychallenges #mentalhealth #relationships #isolation #guilt #shame #personalboundaries #supportsystem #therapist
"Alot of times, donors are just viewed as genetic material." Melissa, an egg donor for two years, shares her experience with anonymous donation. Now that she has children she wonders what happened with her donations. She wonders if the kids are alright. She expresses her willingness to be open and connect with the recipient parents and children, while also respecting boundaries.
If you'd like to learn more about how to prepare to connect, I've got some resources for you! Making Contact is a how-to guide to prepare for contact whether you are a donor, donor conceived person or recipient parent. Link for more: https://three-makes-baby-preparation-and-parenting1.teachable.com/p/making-contact
Ever wondered what it would be like to meet the donor you used to conceive? A recipient parent, Romi, and her previously unknown sperm donor, meet and share their experience with Jana Rupnow on this episode of Three Makes Baby.
Jana Rupnow talks to the woman behind @satricaldonorconception, a lesbian and donor conceived adult. We discussed one of her posts that caused a stir in the LGBTQ community and talk about some of the complex issues about family building using purchased donor gametes. She confronts the idea of a two parent household as being "revolutionary" and challenges new ways of looking at family building to within her community, especially to consider the needs of donor conceived people, like herself.
Kiara shares her experienced being raised by a single mom and what it was like being told about her story from the beginning. She found her donor as an adult and has a relationship with siblings conceived using the same donor. She is open and willing to share her story with others. Connect with her on social media: @kiararaeschuh
*I use the terminology the dc person wishes to use.
Emma, New Zealand native, embodies her bio father's motto "Curiosity, Perseverance and Happiness" as she shares her story of being donor conceived and the reason for her advocacy work.
Uprooted offers a personal view of the consequences of secrecy in the practice of donor conception. A prominent CEO, Peter Boni, uncovers a family secret that both validates and disrupts his life. Combing his extensive research of the early practice of donor insemination with his own genetic discoveries, Boni reveals the questions, uncertainties and confusion he faced, as well as the exhilaration of connecting with genetic kin.
Boni provides a detailed history of the practice of donor conception, walking us through the social, legal and religious climate that encouraged secrets in reproductive technology and stunted the advancement of our social narratives.
Secrets are no match for personal determination and the universal need for self-discovery, no matter what age. Boni doesn’t stop his search until his deceased parents’ secret comes to light.
Tiffany shares her story of paternal loss, how it has shaped her life and how it fuels her advocacy work for donor conceived people.
Freya shares her experience being raised in a two mom family, connecting with her biological father and parenting her donor conceived daughter, Birdie, with her wife.
MUST Listen
Dov Fox (Author, Narrator), Audible Originals (Publisher)When scores of aspiring parents turned to the fertility industry to start families, they chose a remarkable young man to be the biological father of their children. He was a music prodigy and gifted athlete who had a genius IQ, movie star looks, and perfect health.
Except it was all a lie.
In this tour de force of investigative reporting, host Dov Fox unravels the case of Donor 9623, examining the complex forces and competing agendas behind the biggest reproductive hoax of our time. The story is dark, propulsive - and in an unexpected turn - hopeful. This Audible Original exposes the billion-dollar industry that creates hundreds of thousands of babies every year, through unprecedented access to its key players - and to Donor 9623 himself.
The 8-episode series raises hard questions about what we want when we set out to have kids - and what happens when we don’t get it. It places us in the grip of life lived with crushing uncertainty. And unsettles our deepest understanding of what it means to be human.
Romi and Britt, two moms through sperm donation, share their journey to better understanding their child's potential perspective. Britt shares how she has worked through her vulnerabilities as the non-genetic parent and has a totally different view from when they first embarked on this journey. Romi's lived personal experience with non-genetic family life, gives her an inside understanding of the irreplaceable role of parenting.
Update since the recording: They connected with their child's donor.
Olivia Montuschi, co-founder of the Donor Conception Network in England, has over 35 years of experience as a parent to donor-conceived children and is the author of several resources for parents.
Olivia shares her personal story as well as the story of how the @d_c_network was born.
In this episode, she shares valuable perspectives from her interviews with donor conceived teenagers. Their perspectives were included in her latest book, Continuing the Conversation which is available for purchase through @d_c_network.
Below are my comments on her latest publication:
Continuing the Conversation, Talking with Young People and Adults 12 yrs and Up, is an invaluable resource for families with donor conceived teenagers and young adults. Applying over 35 years of experience as a parents of DC children plus interviews with 21 donor conceived teenagers, Olivia Montuschi and Jane Ellis provide readers “a look ahead” at this crucial stage of child development. Montuschi and Ellis describe common challenges and mistakes that parents of teens make, while navigating the shifting and sometimes disorienting dynamics in the parent child relationship. In addition to learning how to engage in conversation with their teens during time when teens are naturally pulling away, readers will learn more about unique issues donor conceived adolescents face as they search for genetic kin, take a DNA test for the first time or begin dating.
Continuing the Conversation is an answer to the most common question parents ask me, “What will my child feel?” DC teens and adults offer direct advice to parents, on topics such as privacy, supporting their search and having uncomfortable conversations with them. As pioneers and leaders in the DC community, the DC network continues to address real issues, normalizing the challenges teens with disconnected genetic ties may face, so they don’t have to face them alone, but with their parents by their side. Jana M. Rupnow, LPC Author, Three Makes Baby- How to Parent Your Donor Conceived Child
Guest, Rachel Ginnochio, a sexuality and family building educator, writer and consultant shares her work to develop education curriculum to be inclusive of the many ways that families are made. Rachel is writing a book for middle grade readers about human reproduction and family formation and is writing comprehensive lessons for high school students that go beyond basic sex education.
Rachel's work can be found under the name Roads to Family at www.roadstofamily.com.
Music by Kevin McCleod, Half-Mystery, Podcast Host: Jana Rupnow
Bee of @inconceivedable tells the rest of her story. In 2020, Bee opened her 23and me account again to discovery 12 half-siblings. In this episode, Bee shares her raw emotions as she unravels a secret that re-defined her and her relationships. Follow @inconceivedable.
Receive updates for parent education workshops.
Buy Three Makes Baby Audio Book on sale until May 6.
Hosted by Jana Rupnow, LPC, Music by Kevin McCloud
"Science is how I get pregnant." "Bee" of @Inconceivedable, recounts how her experiences with infertility lead her to an unexpected discovery about her family. A curious call makes her wonder if her dad was a sperm donor.
Three Makes Baby is hosted by Jana Rupnow, music by Kevin McCloud
Buy Three Makes Baby Audio Book
Follow Jana on social media @janarupnowlpc
Three Makes Baby Podcast
Cassandra Adams
Camille Guaty
Happy Together Children's Book
Life_DI_Dad
Donor Conception and Beyond
Half of Me Podcast
Inconceivedable
Defining Mum
Your IVF Abroad
You Look Like Me
Intentions of #IDCAD
Nikita was my very first guest on the podcast. She came on to spread the word about her search to find her sperm donor in 30 days. Nikita was raised by a single mom who chose sperm donation to have her. The donation was out of the ordinary: a 50-year-old anonymous man donated sperm in the UK before 1997.
Nikita shares what she has discovered in the last 16 months. Her search led to an unexpected surprise!
Listen to see if you can help her find the man that helped conceive her. If you have any information to share, email [email protected].
Music: Half Mystery by Kevin Macleod
Dr. Tober is an assistant professor at the University of California San Francisco Institute for Health and Aging. She's also faculty at Bixby Center for Reproductive Health in the Department of Anthropology, History and Social Medicine.
Dr. Tober is conducting the largest mixed method study on egg donors, with over 500 egg donors from all over the world. It began eight years ago with a call from an egg donor with a group called, We Are Egg Donors. Many of the members of her group had complications and they felt it was important wanted to collaborate to follow up with donors.
Hannah's resiliency after learning she was donor conceived in a hurtful way
Her parents waited too long to tell her the truth. Hannah’s parents intended to tell her about her donor conception but never found the right moment. Then it was too late. Someone else who knew the secret, revealed the secret to Hannah in a hurtful way. By this time, Hannah’s dad had developed Alzheimer’s and she could no longer talk to him about it.
Hannah speaks about how she used to be fundamentally opposed to donor conception but her viewpoint is shifting. She shows resiliency and depth in this new episode of Three Makes Baby podcast.
Eric is a father to two teenagers who were donor conceived and started a blog 15 years ago called "Life as Dad to Donor Insemination (DI) Kids." His experience is invaluable to younger parents just starting their journey.
Eric has a child-centered focus and shares his experience with dc feelings, including anger and ambivalence. He addresses the challenges that dc adults have faced with banks and consequences of dishonesty. Eric shares with host, Jana Rupnow, how parents can cope with feelings of guilt and how to have an ongoing conversation with your kids as they grow.
Enhance your bonding and attachment to your baby by using this visualization before or during pregnancy.
Three Makes Baby Audiobook, Exercise #12, is narrated by the author, Jana Rupnow, and will help you to overcome any obstacles making it more challenging for you to bond with your baby.
Raised by a single mom, Kyle shares his experiences about knowing that he was sperm donor conceived at an early age. We do a deep dive into several important topics, like, telling your child about their conception and avoiding the learned shame that a stigma can cause in family life.
Parents commonly tell me they want to wait to tell their child until they are teenagers but Kyle has advice for parents. (You’ll have to listen to hear it.) 😉
Kyle also explains how uncovering previously unknown genetic information added value to life and explored the reasons that tracking half-siblings are important.
#spermdonation #podcast #singlemom #solomom #dcadult #donorconceived #dcperspective
Renee and Tom manage grief as a couple on their long road of fertility treatments.
Jana Rupnow collaborated with FIVE parents of donor conceived children from FOUR countries (🏴 🇦🇺 🇨🇦 🇺🇸) to bring you a thoughtful dialogue about difficult topics surrounding donor conception. PART 2
Five parents of dc children ranging in age from several months old to fifteen years old, discuss topics that donor conceived adults struggle with and explore how they might handle these issues with their children. They did this to help open the dialogue about donor conception, understand the donor conceived viewpoint and help educate others.
I asked each parent this question: What are your thoughts on anonymity? How do you feel about your story of infertility vs your child's story?
Some DC adults express fears over accidental dating of half-siblings in anonymous situations? How will you address this?
Male factor infertility contributes to approx 30-40% of all fertility related problems. Unfortunately, azoospermia (zero sperm) is a condition that is becoming more common. .
So guys, I advise you to test your fertility early. Yes, before you’re even thinking of a family.
This kit by @yospermtest is a simple screening test that can help you identify issues with your count. It works with your smart phone and even gives you a video you can send to your doctor. I’ll be doing a story about how the test works soon! .
#spermtest #malefactorinfertility #infertility #ttc #varicocele #azoospermia
Jana Rupnow collaborated with FIVE parents of donor conceived children from FOUR countries (🏴 🇦🇺 🇨🇦 🇺🇸) to bring you a thoughtful dialogue about difficult topics surrounding donor conception.
These “fantastic five” parents,
@sarahbethhumphreys, @definingmum, @pursuingfatherhood, @donorconceptionandbeyond and @vincelondini
discuss topics that donor conceived adults struggle with and explore how they might handle these issues with their children. They did this to help open the dialogue about donor conception, understand the donor conceived viewpoint and help educate others.
AND 🥁
I asked each parent this question:
Some donor conceived adults express a distaste for the business aspect of donor conception, feeling like a product or commodity. What are your thoughts? How might you respond if your child asks about the money exchange involved in their conception?
Fifteen years ago, Vince received news from a doctor that he had “complete azoospermia” and he describes how confusing and shocking that moment was.
He openly speaks about infertility to help other men with issues that impacts men with male factor infertility like masculinity, passing on the family name, and how society impacts a man with infertility, especially the imposed shame.
He also leads a support group in Ontario, Canada and is involved with Donor Conception Canada. Vince (@vincelondini).
#spermdonation #mfi #malefactorinfertility #azoospermia #infertility #fertility
Brittany used an egg donor to conceive and bravely shared her feelings about letting go of the biological child she couldn’t have. She’s back to share an update and some frustrating information about the egg donation process that she learned during her pregnancy.
Donors are supposed to be limited to a certain number of donations both for health risks and long-term family management issues. In other words, to avoid the complications that come with having an unmanageable amount of half-siblings. Unfortunately, this limit is not enforceable and intended parents must rely on the ethics of agencies, clinics and banks.
#eggdonation #eggdonor #ethics #deivf #spermdonation #donorconception
Emma, a Donor Conceived Adult & Triplet of a Single, Gay Mom Shares Thoughts about Her "Biological Father"
Emma is donor conceived and knew about her conception "before she understood." Her "superhero" mom used a donor to conceive and had triplets. She shares how she wondered about her biological father and tried to put together the pieces of him by looking at traits of her 100+ half-siblings.
Gail, a mom through sperm donation, advocates for regulation and legislation in donor conception. Gail lives in Australia and was appalled to find out her daughter has over 100 half-siblings. She shares her daughter's feelings about donor conception as well as some unpleasant truths about the practices that occur in the field.
I speak with Sheri, the author of @youweremeantformebook. She shares her story of embryo adoption and what inspired her to write a children’s book for her son. The children’s book about embryo adoption is also available through Amazon.
(Please excuse the sound quality. Sheri’s microphone was garbled at times.)
In this podcast episode, Sheri discusses anonymity and the importance of DNA to the child. Knowing the perspective of donor conceived adults, I thought it was important that Sheri could share her thoughts and feelings about the book’s title as well as the symbolic imagery on the book’s cover. She has a lot of wisdom!
Sheri posted on Instagram today that she changed the name of her book from, “You Were Made for Me” to “You Were Meant for Me” after listening to the voices of donor conceived adults. Head over to her account and blog to read more about this.
Listen to the @threemakesbaby podcast episode with Sheri on all podcast platforms and through the link in my bio.
Kerri and Chris independently pursue embryo adoption after failed fertility treatments with their biological embryos. Kerry explains the process of independent or self-directed adoption, which is adopting without the help of agency facilitation.
Kerrie is open with their child and has an open relationship with her donors, allowing her son to know his half-brothers from a young age.
I am honored to share another episode with a thoughtful person, Alex. She shares how she discovered her parent's secret of using a sperm donor and how it has impacted her for the last two years.
Jen wonders if adoption is right for her after a high risk, traumatic pregnancy with triplets.
🚨 Trigger alert: 🚨This episode explores miscarriage, trauma and grief and some extremely difficult decisions about pregnancy. Adoption trauma is also explored.
🚨Spoiler alert🚨:I followed up with Jen on Friday and they have decided not to pursue adoption. Jen would like to remain anonymous but I applaud her decision to not pursue a choice that she recognized she was not up for.
.
.
Becoming informed about adoption trauma and admitting it is NOT for you as a parent is 💯 OK.
.
It’s ok to change your mind.
It’s ok to say this type of parenting is not in your plan.
I’d prefer parents be informed and up for the complexities of adoption than buried their head in the sand about the child’s need.
Also, we cover the BIG feelings that come up when our reproductive years are over.
Infertility affects people of all races but women of color have extra challenges in the US.
Nikki shares the added challenges she has experienced with infertility as a person of color. From the social silence to the limited selection of donors, third party reproduction is even more difficult as a woman of color in the US.
Esther was raised by two moms and always knew they used an anonymous sperm donor to conceive. She grew up with other families like hers and always felt that being donor-conceived was normal. From a young age, she also wondered about her biological father and had a strong desire to search for him.
Esther talks about all of the emotions that come up before, during and after her search for her donor. She talks about the disillusionment of meeting her donor because of the fantasy she built in her mind.
Ryan chose to be a known egg donor through a freeze and share program in SF. She shares why it's important for her to be known to the recipient parents as well as her desire that at least one of the recipient parents also be black. Ryan's approach to egg donation will hopefully be the wave of the future. This episode is a discussion with Ryan both before and after COVID-19 and Black Lives Matter changed our social lives. Don't miss her update at the end of the episode as she shares how she connected with her intended parents and begins egg stimulation in California.
Tia shares that, "After five incredibly taxing years, searching for the right combination of medication, lifestyle and luck, we are walking away from the path to become parents. It was always in our hearts to have a biological child, together, or not at all. We were never open to the idea of adoption or donor intervention, and while those alternatives are completely normal and logical next steps, we realized the bigger need is to create a live worth living together, as a family of two."
Don't miss this amazing new episode on life after fertility treatment and boldly living their plan B.
Back by popular demand, Ally, a donor conceived adult and host of @halfofmepodcast, returns to update us on her life and how the pandemic has affected her career. This is an opportunity to get a glimpse of other aspects of a dc person's life that is unrelated to their conception. It's important to remember that a person is not entirely defined by one event, even though it may be a BIG part of them. We are reminded that having the ability to delve into donor conception issues are the sign of a higher evolved place of needs. Maslow's hierarchy of needs shows that we can't contemplate on higher issues when are basic needs of safety and security (food and shelter) are not met. On the flip side, some donor conceived individuals basic needs of belonging in childhood can be disrupted if a parent's grief interferes with the attachment process. Feeling emotionally secure and safe is the result of a sense of belonging.
Since the recording Ally announced that she is pregnant with their first child after infertility treatments. Follow her @halfofmepodcast for more on that topic.
So many of you will relate to this podcast episode with @infertilebruises about delayed fertility treatment. Be sure to listen to the full episode for strength and inspiration.💪
In March, fertility authorities around the world recommended that all fertility treatments stop in an effort to minimize the spread of coronavirus. The result was devastating for many couples in mid-treatment. Although most people agree this was the best decision for public safety, it was also life-altering for many people.
The pandemic has delayed many couples chance at pregnancy around the world.
I spoke with Amelia with @infertilebruises a few weeks ago about how the delays are affecting her.
She speaks about the grief and trauma of her infertility treatment and how this new delay heaps on more wait time and uncertainty. She speaks about the misunderstandings that have occurred as a result of the ttc community’s response to the pause, as well as the guilt that it brings on when others have faired worse from the pandemic.
She also echoes the experiences that Nick with @themaleinfertilitypodcast encountered with male infertility.
As fertility clinics gradually re-open to resume treatment in certain regions of the US, there are still many unknowns.
The ASRM has issued new guidance through May 11. Go to @americansocietyforreprodmed for the full guidance.
(Amelia is in the UK and the guidelines for reopening are different.)
Nick Denton, a voice actor and host of The Male Infertility Podcast speaks frankly about his medical condition that caused his infertility, azoospermia, commonly known as zero sperm. His humorous and plain approach to the topic are opening the conversation and hopefully, lifting the shame around this increasingly more common condition.
He speaks about the pressure around sex, how he supports his wife and how he feels about using a sperm donor. Be sure to listen to his podcast on all the normal platforms and follow him on Instagram @maleinfertilitypodcast.
Amy's husband was diagnosed with azoospermia and wasn't open to donation at first. After failed surgeries, they were able to move forward with sperm donation. Amy talks about his feelings, the donor selection process and her need for privacy during her pregnancy.
#azoospermia
Elena's story of known donation is special and rare. While secrecy in the field of donor conception is slowly emerging from the shadows of secrecy and unknown donation (formerly anonymous donation) is still more prevalent, Elena and Amy are breaking the mold.
Amy donated her eggs to Elena, who had been through an unimaginable number of failed fertility treatments with her husband. Amy followed her journey and stepped forward to help. Both woman had daughter's close in age and have become great friends.
Elena talks about her relationship with Amy in this episode. Listen to get an idea of a real life example of how known donation works.
Sarah shares her story of using a known donor. An extraordinary friendship leads to her pregnancy during a historic time. Sarah speaks about her long journey of infertility, the difficulty of pursing anonymous donation, and the immeasurable and timely gift of egg donation from a friend 4,000 miles away. Sarah speaks to what it is like to be pregnant during a pandemic and how lock down feels alot like the isolation she felt during infertility. She offers hope to those on an uphill climb to conceiving.
Julie experience premature ovarian failure and was concerned about her fertility. Her fears came true when she realized she couldn't have a biological child. She turned her pain into a gift for others, through her series of children's books. Her books are designed to create new narratives for all types of families created through donation; heterosexual or same-sex couples, a family through a gestational carrier or an embryo adoption, her books are ground-breaking for the fertility field.
Sarah, a mom through egg donation, shares, "Infertility grief doesn't actually end with having a beautiful child. Now the work on what this means in relation to living in our world begins."
Jana, & Dr. Escobar, (fertility therapist and fertility doctor) met on zoom to talk about how the coronavirus is changing fertility treatments.
I sat down with Dr-Julian Escobar to talk about the uncertainty of healthcare during this coronavirus outbreak and how patients can cope with delayed fertility treatments.
Welcome back to Season 2! So much has changed since the end of season 1. This episode, recorded in December was prophetic in a way. Amira Posner @thefertilemind shares ways to tap into mindfulness.
In this episode, Jana Rupnow, LPC speaks with Allie P, sperm-donor conceived and raised by lesbian moms. Allie always knew she was donor conceived and called the anonymous donor, “the dude”, before she knew who he was.
Allie saw a commercial on TV and discovered approx 80 half-siblings through the donor sibling registry (DSR).
She told me what it’s like to have 80 siblings and the differences and similarities of their experiences. She also spoke about how hard it is to manage a relationship with that many people. . .
Allie was also able to identify and meet her donor in person.
She found herself following in his footsteps in ways throughout her life but isn’t sure how conscious this was.
Allie believes that telling the child from the start about donor conception is best and didn’t feel that anything was missing in her life by knowing.
Don’t miss this final Episode of season 1.
I was so excited to talk to Alex @pursuingfatherhood to hear a guy’s perspective and concerns about fatherhood.
Even more exciting is that he and his wife are expecting a baby girl any day now! .
Alex asks such an important question about how to share their unique conception story with others. He wants to do what is best for his child and wonders about the right time and people to tell.
I’ve had many people ask this same question and there is no simple answer. Talking about a sensitive topic before you are ready can be psychologically distressful. .
The best I can do is give you a way to determine your own readiness to share. I developed a simple, use-on-the-fly, acronym to help called “Consider IF.”
I’ll post more about this but have a listen to the episode first! 🎧 Podcast available to listen on all platforms and the link in my bio. .
.
.
#spermdonation #parenting #infertility #ttc #azoospermia #donorconception #fatherhood #fertilitytreatments #malefactorinfertility
Episode 19 of Three Makes Baby Podcast is 54 minutes that you won’t want to miss! Beth articulates her experience with donor conception in a way you likely haven’t heard yet. .
Beth and her wife used a sperm donor to have their daughter and a few years later she discovered she was donor conceived from the results of a DNA test.
Beth explains how her parents sat her down and the first thing her Dad said is, “We’ve been keeping a secret from you for 40 years.” Beth said she kept looking at her mom saying, “Is this real?”
It must have been so puzzling to her. She explained to me that she looks more like her father (with no genetic connection) than her biological father, who
she later connected with. Beth also connected with her sister and explains how it all unfolded in this episode.
Cam bravely shares about a chromosomal disorder she was born with that causes female infertility, called Turner Syndrome. This podcast episode is special for two reasons, Cam is the youngest guest to be on the podcast so far. As a member of Gen Z, she is proactively researching her options to grow a family long before she is ready to start one. Interviewing Cam made me realize how much our dialogue around infertility has change over the past decade and how proud I am to be part of this ongoing campaign. Cam was 8 years-old when I started doing this work. That fact and my looming birthday (tomorrow) are making me feel old. More importantly, I'm super proud that conversations like this continue to make a difference for others.
Don’t miss Episode 18 of Three Makes Baby Podcast, available on all the podcast platforms.
Eloise shares her story of how a chromosomal disorder, called Klinefelter's Syndrome, caused male-factor infertility for her husband. After an unsuccessful surgery to extract sperm from her husband, the couple moved on to use a sperm donor. Eloise, now with 3 children, shares how difficult the process was for her and her husband. The lack of resources and information left them feeling overwhelmed and without direction. She aims to change that for others.
Keeley found her love in her mid-thirties but after multiple fertility treatments and no official diagnosis, she concluded that her egg quality was low. Her story speaks to so many women that have a full life in their twenties before finding the partner they want to have a family with. Unfortunately, female fertility declines rapidly when women reach their mid-thirties. Keeley discusses the of loss of seeing both of them in their child. “My husband said a very sweet thing, 'But I married you'. The idealistic dream of having a child that looks like both of you.” Our conversation takes a path into so many different topics like, anonymity, finding the donor later in life and how she views genetics.
We also talk adoption- the similarities and differences between adoption and donor conception.
Keeley brought up a new topic to the podcast. How to talk about donor conception with the younger generation, specifically, her friends and family member's children.
Keeley's empowering message is for women and men to be proactive about their fertility long before they plan to have a family.
Follow @janarupnowlpc for a dialogue more on this episode!
A
Jeremy, who was sperm donor conceived and raised by a single mom shares the experience of meeting his donor and half-siblings. He talks about what the word “dad” means to him and how he relates to his donor today. We also talk about the show Almost Family and how parenting might influence or not influence how people feel about being donor conceived.
It’s a great episode! We talk about hard stuff in a respectful way.
Ellie's episode is packed with information about secondary infertility, miscarriage, hyperemesis, and how to talk to your fully-genetic older child about donor conception. Ellie also bravely shares her fears about others gossiping and judging her choice to use a donor to have her second child.
Ally discovered she was donor conceived in January 2019. Since then, she has discovered over a dozen half-siblings and is still coming to terms with her new reality. Ally discusses the complexities of discovering and managing relationships with multiple half-siblings and "the process" of growth she has gone through. She shares things she would do differently now that almost a year has past since her discovery. Ironically, Ally also discovered this year that she and her husband would need treatment to have a baby, as her parents did 30 years ago. Ally, compassionately reflects on what her parents must have gone through, especially now that she is facing infertility herself.
Cassandra found out her father wasn't her biological dad from a DNA test in 2017. A mother herself, Cassandra had to re-work her sense of identity and navigate the complicated family dynamics that unfolded after discovering this 35-year secret. Broken trust and broken family relationships motivated Cassandra to make a difference. She advocates for the rights of donor-conceived individuals across various platforms @cassandrajadams. She is the moderator for the Facebook group Donor Conceived.
Learn more from individuals who were donor conceived on YouTube.
Liz would like to know more about the women that helped her become pregnant with her children. After she lost her baby girl at 21 weeks gestation due to a heart defect, it was hard to move on to another donor. She was attached to the embryos, her baby’s biological potential siblings but the dream of them died. The clinic kept the information from the donor about the baby’s heart defect and has kept Liz from contacting the donor.
Her episode brought up some ethical questions:
Shouldn’t the baby’s heart defect be shared with the donor if it could prevent the donor from having a complication with pregnancy in the future?
.
Should doctors and agencies keep donors and parents apart if they want contact?
.
The solution to this is to work with a program that has a registry or use the DSR in the US.
.
Leave your comments below. Let’s advocate for change together.
Colleen experienced infertility and her doctor recommended that she use an egg donor to conceive, but donor conception had turned her life upside down. Her own donor conception was concealed until she discovered the truth through a DNA test. Her biological dad was actually a medical student who donated his sperm anonymously.
Finding out she was donor-conceived later in life caused Colleen an existential crisis, but things also begin to make sense to her. She recalled a family gathering when her dad was looking at her hands and said, “You have a crooked pinky finger!” “I have a crooked pinky finger!” The man that raised her passed away before she discovered the truth and she felt like she lost him all over again. .
Experiencing infertility and being donor conceived, Colleen has a unique perspective, “I see a lot of hurt from people who are infertile and who are donor conceived and it’s not a tragedy competition.” Listen on your morning commute in iTunes.
What happens when 100 people collaborate to express their experiences around miscarriage? Listen to this epi to find out.
Infertility grief isn't widely recognized or understood by the public. Learn about the grieving process and why miscarriage after infertility is a more complicated type of grief.
Music: Half Mystery by Kevin Macleod
Therapy helped Brit accept that her and her husband's baby would not share DNA with her. She shares how she had to let go of the fantasy children that she wouldn’t have, so she could accept the baby that was coming. She believes she’s going to get the ‘“little soul” she was meant to have.
Also, discussed in this episode are the epigenetic misconceptions that lead mother’s to believe they could pass their DNA on to their egg donor conceived baby. We talk about making an extra effort to help your child feel like they are part of the tribe when they are genetically different.
Music: Half Mystery by Kevin Macleod
Jana Rupnow explains the passion behind Three Makes Baby and why she loves working with with families who don't share the same genes.
Nikita was raised by a single mom who chose sperm donation to have her. The donation was out of the ordinary: a 50-year-old anonymous man donated sperm in the UK before 1997. Listen to see if you can help her find the man that helped conceive her. If you have any information to share, email [email protected].
Music: Half Mystery by Kevin Macleod
A brief introduction to the types of interviews you will hear on Three Makes Baby Podcast including stories about infertility, donor conception, adoption and the role of genetics in family life.
Three Makes Baby podcast gives you a glimpse into the emotions and psychology behind infertility.
Host Jana Rupnow, fertility psychotherapist and author of Three Makes Baby-How to Parent Your Donor-Conceived Child, takes a deep dive with her guests, revealing unspoken truths when baby-making doesn’t go as planned.
This podcast informs and raises awareness about the psychosocial issues created by advances in reproductive technology and the skills needed to navigate these new families narratives.
Music: Half Mystery by Kevin Macleod
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.