Kabasho

Xilqaddan waxaynu dib ugu milicsanaynaa safarkii kabasho ee sannadka iyo badhka soo socday, waxaynu kale oo wax iska waydiinynaa muhiimadda ay leedahay 'Kabashada-Dareen' iyo calaamadaha aad ku garan kartid.

Dhagaysi wacan.

Weligaa ma dareentay in naftaadu jeceshahay ama ku sidkantahay cidda dhibaataysa? ma u wayday magac aad u bixiso xidhiidhka noocaas ah, xilqaddan ayaa kuu faah-faahinaysa magaca ,micnaha iyo qaabka uu u samaysmo xidhiidhka noocaas ahi. 

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

Weligaa ma dareentay inaad dareemahaaga ku hafanaysid? sidee ayaad u maaraysay dareen-ku hafashada? 

Xilqaddan ayaynu maaraynta dareen ku hafashada kaga hadlaynaa, dhagaysi iyo dhaqan gelin wanaagsan

Weli ma Iswaydiisay ama ma doontay inaad dareemahaaga xakamayso? Inaad falcelinahaaga adigu falkiso oo aanay si bila qorshe ah kaaga soo fulin? Xilqaddan ayaynu ku qaadaa-dhigaynaa qaabka ugu fudud ee aad u baran kartid Xakamaynta Dareemadaada. 

Dhagaysi iyo Dhaqan gelin wanaagsan.

Waa Qaybtii 2aad ee Cuqdadda Hoosaynta.

Dhagaysi wanaagsan .

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Cuqadadda Hoosayntu 'Inferiority Complex' waa maxay ayaynu xilqaddan isku waydiinaynaa . Dhagaysi wanaagsan

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Bani'aadamku ma darroori karaa dareen ahaan? Xilqaddan ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa su'aashan.

Dhagaysi iyo Dhaqan gelin wanaagsan

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Weli awoodahaaga qofeed , wax qabadkaaga iyo ahaanshiyahaaga maka shakiday? ma iswaydiisay weli waxaad isaga shakido?   Xilqaddan ayaynu isku waydiinaynaa shakiga, waxa keena iyo sida looga bixi karo.  

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan gelin wanaagsan

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Weli ma maqashay mabda'a 'Qunyar Noolaanshiyaha' , ma noolaan kartaa qunyar iyada oo aanay jirin wax ku dedejinayaa? Xilqaddan ayaynu isku waydiinaynaa waxa uu yahay Qunyar-Noolaanshiyuhu.

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan

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Weli ma Is waydiisay dhaqanka dad iska gadista/dhaadhicintu meesha uu kasoo raaco dadka, sifaha ay yeeshaan dadka lihi iyo sida loge gudbi karo?  Xilqaddan ayaad ku baranaysaa bi'dniLaah.   

Dhagaysi Iyo Dhaqan Gelin Wanaagsan.

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Weligaa ma doontay inaad naftaada saamaxdid? ma iswaydiisay halkee ayaan ka bilaabaa? xilqaddani waxay kaaga jawaabaysaa su'aalo laga yaabo inaad jawaab u la'ayd.   Dhagaysi iyo Dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan.

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Weligaa ma maqashay qofbaa dareen ahaan u dhiig-baxay? xilqaddan ayaynu isku waydiinayaa waxa uu yahay dhiig-baxa dareen.  

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Sidee ayaan uga bixi karaa cabsida daran ee geerida ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa xilqaddan.   

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan gelin wanaagsan.

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Tabo iyo xeelado kaa caawin kara la dhaqanka hubanti la'aanta ayaad xilqaddan ka faa'iidaysaa bi'dniLaah.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Fikradaha maanka kusoo dhaca kuwooda khalalka qofka geliya ayaynu kaga hadlaynaa xilqaddan.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Waalidkaygu haddii uu Is-xambaarsane yahay maxaan ka yeelaa? Su'aashan ayaynu xilqaddan kaga jawaabaynaa. 

Dhagaysi wanaagsan. 

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Tallaabooyinka ka kabashada dhibta Is-xambaarsanaha ayaynu xilqaddan ku qaadaa-dhigaynaa. 

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan. 

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Waalidku Isxambaarsane ma noqon karaa ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa Xilqaddan.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Wax ka baro xeeladaha dadka Is-xambaarsanaayaasha ah.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Sidee ayay u dhaqmaan is-xambaarsanayaashu xilliyada ay xidhiidhada ku jiraan? Su'aashan ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa xilqaddan. 

Dhagaysi Wanaagsan. 

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Weli ma iswaydiisay Is-xambaarsanaanta |Narcissism-ku waxa uu yahay? xilqaddan ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa su'aashaas misana ku baranaynaa shakhsiyidda noocaas ah calaamadaheeda iyo waxa sameeya dhaqankeeda.

Dhagaysi wanaagsan

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Weli dareenkaaga mala habaabiyay? Maxay ayaad dareentay? maxaa lagu gartaa qofka dareenka habaabinaya? xilqaddan waxaynu kaga jawaabaynaa su'aalahan iyo kuwo kale.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Sideen u samaystaa Xuduudo -Shaqeed ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa xilqaddan.  

Dhagaysi iyo Dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan.

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Weli ma is waydiisay waxaad mar walba u niyad jabsantahay, uga daallantahay gudaha,u dareensantahay in aan lagu qiimaynayn? malaga yaabaa inaanad xuduudo dareemeed lahayn?  Dhagaysi iyo Dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan ?

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Waa maxay samaysiga xuduudaha-qofeed? maxaynu se ugu baahannahay ayaynu xilqaddan isku waydiinaynaa.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan ?

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Xilqaddan waxaynu kaga hadlaynaa siyayaabaha loo yarayn karo ama looga guulaysan karo Dhalanteedka-Dhammasytiranka.   Dhagaysi iyo Dhaqan gelin wanaagsan ?

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'Waa maxay Dhalanteedka Dhammaystiranku'? Su'aashan ayaynu kaga jawaabaynaa xilqaddan. 

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan gelin wanaagsan ?

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Xilqaddan waxaynu isla qaadaa-dhigaynaa 'bahdilaadda' , noocyadeeda iyo wajiyada kala duwan ee ay u dhacdo.   

Dhagaysi wanaagsan.

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Xilqaddan waxaynu ku baranaynaa sida loola dhaqmo dareemada ceebta iyo dhaqamada ka dhasha labadaba.   

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan.?

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Weligaa ma dareentay in baqdin\cabsi ba'ani ku hadhayso marka aad is tiraahdo dadka dhexgal, madal tag ama meel lagaaga yeedho ay dadku ku badanyihiin? xilqaddan waxaad ku fahmaysaa meesha cabsidaasi kasoo unkamayso iyo qaababka aad u dumin karto ee uga xoroobi karto.   Dhagsi iyo dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan.

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Sidee ayaan u urugoodaa kadib marka qof aan jeclahay i cidleeyo, sideense u kala gartaa dareemada caafimaadka qaba iyo kuwa aan caafimaadka qabin ee ila hadhaya? Su'aalahan ayaan kaga jawaabayaa xilqaddan. dhagaysi iyo dhaqan gelin wanaagsan.

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Xilqaddan waxaynu isla qaadaa-dhigaynayaa dareenka 'urugada' saamayntiisa iyo sida loola dhaqmo. Dhagaysi wanaagsan ?

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Xilqaddan waxaynu ku baranaynaa waxa loo yaqaanno 'Ogaal-Neefsashada' faa'iidooyinkeeda iyo sida loo sameeyo.   

Dhagaysi iyo dhaqan-gelin wanaagsan ?

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Xilqaddan waxaynu ku lafa guraynaa waxaynu u bixinay 'tabnaanshiyaha jidheed' waxa uu yahay,sida uu u abuurmo iyo sida looga bixi karo.   

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Xilqaddan waxaynu isku waydiinaynaa urugada hooyada soo foodsaarta kadib markay ilmaha dhasho, waa maxay calaamadaha lagu gartaa? sideese loola dhaqmaa?

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xilqaddan kalsoonida waxaynu ku qeexnay sidan;  waa karti iyo dareen gudeed oo ruuxu kashiisa ku beero taasi oo ku hagta in uu aamino ama ku tiirsado awoodihiisa qofeed. 

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Xilqaddan waxaynu kaga jawaabaynaa su'aasha ah 'Awood intee le'eg ayaynu u leenahay inaynu siidayno dareemada aynaan jeclayn si aynu qayb uga noqonno kabashadeenna'?.

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Haddii waalidkaygu yaraantii isoo dhaawaceen sidee ayaan uga kaban karaa dareemada dhaawacaa ka dhasha, isla markaana sidee ayaan tabashadayda ugala hadli karaa hadda?

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Naf-lahadalka aynu ka dhaxalnay xilqaddii 11aad waa sidee inuu noqdo, ayaynu is-waydiinaynaa xilqaddan 12aad. Dhagaysi wacan.

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Psychologist kii waynaa ee reer Ingiriis John Bowlby wuxuu Sidkanaanta ku qeexay; isku xidhnaanshiyaha laxaweed ee raaga isla markaan ka dhaxeeya bani?aadamka. Xilqaddan waxaynu ku lafo guraynaa sida noocyadii kala duwanaa ee la inoo soo koriyay waynaanteenna inoo saamayn karaan.

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Tiirsanaanta-Taban(Co-dependency) waxay dhacdaa marka qofku dulin-laxaweed (Emotional-Parasite) ku yahay dadyowga xidhiidhku kala dhaxeeyo.

Xilqaddan waxaynu iswaydiinaynaa meesha ay kasoo unkanto tiirsanaanta-tabani, calaamadaha lagu garto iyo sida looga bixi karo.

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Fillaanshiyo- la?aantu waa dareen taban oo kasoo unkamay yaraantii marar kalena waxaa la kasbadaa waynaanta oo waxaa kugu abuura deegaanka iyo dadka kugu xeeran ee xayndaabkaaga kujira. Sidee looga tallaabaa dareemada fillaanshiyo la'aanta ayaynu ka sheekaysanaynaa. 

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Hungowgu waa dareen xeeldheer oo qofka hadheeya hammina ku beera kadib markii sawir ama filasho uu si dhow qalbigiisa ugu hayey ay beenowdo ama midho dhali wayday, xilqaddan waxaynu iswaydiinaynaa sidii aynu ula dhaqmi karno dareenkaas.

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Lahaanshiyaha Maan-Dhibane waa dabeecad la kasbado/barto oo uu ruuxu u arko in uu dhibane u yahay waxkasta , in qawaaniinta dunidu liddi ku tahay, in uu mudanyahay in laga naxo oo marwalba loo nuglaado. Waxaynu xilqaddan isku waydiinaynaa  calaamadaha lagu garto lahaanshiyaha maanka-dhibane iyo sida looga bixi karo.  

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Naf-hagrashadu waa haysashada caqiidooyin ama aaminaado taban(negative) ah oo qofku ka haysto naftiisa , sida inuu aaminsanyahay in aanuu wanaag badan, lacag badan, degenaanshiyo badan qurux badan guulo adduun iyo kuwo aakhiro oo badan midna u qalmin. Waa laga yaabaa inaad iswaydiiso side ayay suurtagal u tahay? Ma qof wanaag neceb ayaa jira ? side qofku isula hadhi karaa?

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Maxay ayaa maskaxdaada kusoo dhacaa markaad maqasho erayga 'Is-canaanasho'? 

Ma ogtahay in dareenka gudeed ee Is-canaanashadu uu burburin karo kalsoonidaada,waxyeeli karo kasmadaada kaa reebi karo inaad kaalin gasho oo ku dhiirato noqoshada qofka aad rabto inaad noqoto. 

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La jaanqaadku waa lahaanshiyaha awood la qabsi uu ruuxu kula qabsado xaalad cusub oo soo korodhay, maaha shuruud ama khasab in uu raalli ka yahay ama ku negiyahay xaaladda markaa taagan. 

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?Aq-balaadda? ama afka qalaad waxa la yidhaahdo ?Acceptance?  waxa kasoo horjeeda ?iska caabbin?  ama ?resistance? , aqbalaaddu waa inaad arrimaha ku eegtid isha xaqiiqada, qirtid jiritaankooda iyo jirridooda oo aanad kala hortagin iska caabbin iyo dafiraad midna.

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Ahaanshiyo:Waa doorashada uu qofku doorto in uu dareenkiisa,diiraddiisa iyo ogaalkiisa oo dhammaystiran u soo jeediyo daqiiqadda ama ilbidhiqsiga uu imika iyo hadda joogo ee kujiro. 

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Ogaal nafeedku waa lahaanshiyaha awood uu ruuxu naftiisa hoos ugu warhayn karo, ugu waraysan karo, wax isu waydiin karo isuguna warcelin karo, qeexi karo dareemihiisu Meesha ay kasoo burqanayaan,baahiyihiisu inta ay sii ridanyihiin iyo salka ay ku fadhiyaan inta uu le'gyahay.

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