The Couples Therapist Couch

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Tammy Sollenberger about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and couples. Tammy is a licensed clinical mental health counselor and an Internal Family Systems Certified Supervisor. Hear the different parts we’re made up of, how IFS works in our heads, how our parts trigger each other, how to recognize your feelings and characteristics, and how to stay grounded in the true foundation of a relationship.

To learn more about Tammy, The One Inside podcast, and The One Inside book, visit TammySollenberger.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Hayley Hoffman about Imago and polyvagal therapy. Hayley is a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and a psychodynamic mental health counselor supporting clients in making meaning out of daily events while living life on life’s terms. Hear how to figure out why things bother you, how to stay present, how Imago therapy works, how to improve your relationships, and how polyvagal therapy overlaps with Imago therapy.

To learn more about Hayley and her workshops, visit ImagoCenterDC.com and HayleyHoffman.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this solo episode, Shane shares why you should stop trying to be right all the time in your relationship. Hear why this creates a stuck situation for both the couple and the therapist, the reason people get defensive, how to have good boundaries, when it’s healthy to feel guilty, and the problem with perfectionism.

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with John Gray about Beyond Mars and Venus and what he’s been up to since his last time on The Couples Therapist Couch. John is one of the most well-known relationship experts of the past 40 years and also wrote the iconic bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hear how to keep your libido at any age, why partners lose interest in sex, how to keep that spark as a married couple, why grief is actually addictive, and what he learned from his wife’s passing.

To learn more about John and his coaching, visit MarsVenusCoaching.com

Check out John’s book, “Beyond Mars and Venus”

You can also listen to John on Episode 43 of The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/043-beyond-mars-and-venus-with-john-gray

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Anita Robertson about ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) and couples. Anita is an ADHD & Relationship Therapist and the Author of “ADHD & Us: A Couple’s Guide to Loving and Living with Adult ADHD.” Hear how ADHD impacts couples signs of ADHD, how to approach therapy with clients who have ADHD, some games she brings into sessions, and the importance of getting support.

To learn more about Anita, visit AnitaRobertson.com

Check out Anita’s book, “ADHD & Us: A Couple’s Guide to Loving and Living with Adult ADHD”

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this solo episode, Shane breaks down how to work with high intensity after an affair. This topic stems from a question that came up in the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Hear how to help clients recover after an affair, the emotions both partners are going through, how long it typically takes people to recover from an affair, how to get someone to stop having affairs, and how to help a client avoid getting into a shame spiral.

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. James Hawkins about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and attachment. James is a Licensed Counsellor, and an ICEEFT-certified trainer, supervisor, and therapist. Hear how success and vulnerability are tied together, how to bring the most important things to the forefront, how love and protection fit together, why validation is so key, and how often he sees a typical client.

To learn more about James, visit DocHawkLPC.com

Check out James’s podcast, The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

You can also listen to James on Episode 132 of The Couples Therapist Couch

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Abi Blakeslee about implicit psychotherapy and couples. Abi is the founder of Implicit Psychotherapy and senior faculty at Somatic Experiencing International. Hear how to help people find deeper healing, how implicit memory works, how somatic experiencing fits with implicit memories, how childhood trauma impacts relationships years later, and how small changes can make a big impact over time.

To learn more about Abi, visit:

AbiBlakeslee.com

ImplicitPsychotherapy.com

You can also listen to Abi on Episode 169 of The Couples Therapist Couch

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye about peace and healing in couples therapy. Sabrina is a therapist, storyteller, and peacebuilder with over 3 decades of service to the underserved. Hear how to get your clients to slow down and breathe, the role of a couples therapist when it comes to divorce, how to model acceptance, how to look at a marriage in different stages, and when to be direct with your clients.

To check out Sabrina’s book, Big Mama Speaks, visit: BigMamaSpeaks.com

To learn more about Sabrina’s practice, visit: TheHeartNest.com

You can also listen to Sabrina on Episode 172 of The Couples Therapist Couch

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Wendy Behary about narcissism in couples therapy. Wendy is the Bestselling Author of “Disarming the Narcissist” and the Founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. Hear how she became interested in the study of narcissism, how to approach narcissism as a therapist, how to use Schema Therapy, whether it’s okay to interrupt your clients, and how to avoid getting triggered.

To learn more about Wendy and check out her book, visit:

DisarmingTheNarcissist.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Kathryn Rheem about trauma in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Kathryn is the Director of The Washington Baltimore Center for EFT. Hear how she got over her Impostor Syndrome, how our nervous system is impacted by trauma, how to teach people to be able to receive love, how to connect with someone who’s angry and defensive, and the power of empathy. 

To learn more about Kathryn, visit:

WashingtonBaltimoreCenterForEFT.com

RheemClark.com

TheEFTCafe.com

This episode is dedicated to the incredible life of Dr. Sue Johnson.

In this interview from nearly 5 years ago, Shane talks with Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Hear how she came up with EFT, the patterns she noticed in her clients, how emotion organizes your inner world, the impact of working with someone in EFT, and the qualities of a good EFT therapist.

Learn more about the life of Dr. Sue Johnson at https://drsuejohnson.com/in-remembrance-of-dr-sue-johnson/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Sharon Pope about all things divorce. Sharon is a Marriage & Relationship Coach and several-time Bestselling Author on love and relationships, including “Stay or Go?” Hear how to approach divorce, where people get stuck, how women and men differ in divorce, how therapists can guide people towards a decision, and why divorce should always be an option.

To learn more about Sharon, visit SharonPope.com

Check out “Stay or Go?” at StayOrGoBook.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Tom Murray about the intersection of perfectionism and intimacy. Tom is a Sex and Relationship Expert who’s the Author of “Making Nice with Naughty” and a Co-Host of the Making Nice with Naughty podcast. Hear how to predict a couple’s quality of sex life, how anxiety and adrenaline come into play in the bedroom, how therapists can help with sex and relationship issues, the difference between closeness and vulnerability, and the reality of monogamy.

To learn more about Tom and check out his book, visit MakingNiceWithNaughty.com

For Tom’s clinical practice, visit APathToWellness.com

Learn more about the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Leanne Campbell about all things Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and trauma. Leanne is a Speaker, Writer, and EFT Trainer who co-authored the book “A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT)” with Sue Johnson. Hear the benefits of EFT, why isolation is traumatizing, how to gather information before diving into experiences, the CARE model to focus on in initial sessions, and how to be careful when working with trauma.

To learn more about Leanne and check out her books, visit DrLeanneCampbell.com

Check out Leanne’s previous episode on The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/079-eft-and-attachment-injuries-with-leanne-campbell-and-david-fairweather

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane continues his talk with Patricia Papernow for Part 2 of a 2-part interview on stepfamily relationships. Patricia is widely recognized as one of the world’s foremost experts on “blended families” and received the 2023 award for Distinguished Contribution to Family Therapy from the American Family Therapy Academy. Hear the benefits of authoritative parenting, how to maintain discipline, why it’s important to talk through things as a couple, the reality of parent-child attachment, and the impact of gray divorce.

To learn more about Patricia, visit StepfamilyRelationships.com

Check out Patricia’s books at StepfamilyRelationships.com/Books

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Patricia Papernow for Part 1 of a 2-part interview on stepfamily relationships. Patricia is widely recognized as one of the world’s foremost experts on “blended families” and received the 2023 award for Distinguished Contribution to Family Therapy from the American Family Therapy Academy. Hear why stepfamilies are a fundamentally different structure, how to have a healthy relationship with your stepfamily, the impact on the children, her 5 major challenges for stepfamilies, and how to navigate disciplining children.

To learn more about Patricia, visit StepfamilyRelationships.com

Check out Patricia’s books at StepfamilyRelationships.com/Books

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Guy Winch about psychedelics, relationships, and mental health. Guy is a Psychologist, Speaker, and Author who’s a leading advocate for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. Hear why society doesn’t address mental health as much as physical health, how couples can evaluate and improve their relationships, how long it takes to recover from a divorce or break-up, how psychedelics can help in recovery, and how accepted psychedelics are today.

To learn more about Guy, visit GuyWinch.com

Check out Guy’s latest book, “Emotional First Aid”

Check out Guy’s podcast, “Dear Therapists”

To learn more about ketamine therapy, visit Mindbloom.com

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Alexandra Solomon about her new book, “Love Every Day.” Alexandra is a Therapist, Professor, Speaker, and the Author of 3 books. Hear why it’s important for kids in college to learn how to have a healthy relationship, how we could improve sex education for teens, core principles helpful for people going into any relationship, the importance of staying curious to maintain connection, and why it’s okay to make mistakes as a parent - and tell our kids about those mistakes.

To learn more about Alexandra, visit DrAlexandraSolomon.com

Check out Alexandra’s latest book, “Love Every Day”

Check out Alexandra’s podcast, “Reimagining Love”

Sign up for Alexandra’s eCourse

Check out Alexandra’s previous episode on The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/114-alexandra-solomon-on-taking-sexy-back

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Peter Levine about somatic experiencing and couples therapy. Peter is the Developer of Somatic Experiencing and the Bestselling Author of several books on trauma. His new autobiography comes out in April 2024. Hear what somatic experiencing is, where trauma comes from, how past individual trauma affects couples, the greatest gift we can give our partner, and why trauma doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

To learn more about Peter, visit SomaticExperiencing.com

For trainings, visit TraumaHealing.org

For Peter’s books, visit SomaticExperiencing.com/SE-Books

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Juliane Taylor Shore about how brain science plays into relationships. Juliane is an Educator, Therapist, and Writer inspiring people to shift their relationships with self, others, and the world. She’s the Author of “Setting Boundaries That Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered.” Hear why the energy we put towards ourselves is so important, how the brain looks at safety, how our history influences every moment for us, external vs. internal boundaries, and how to set boundaries with your partner.

To learn more about Juliane and her workshops, visit JulianeTaylorShore.com

Check out Juliane’s book at: JulianeTaylorShore.com/Book

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Bill O’Hanlon about his Solution-Oriented Approach to couples therapy. Bill is a world-renowned leader in the fields of brief psychotherapy and clinical hypnosis and is the co-founder of the Solution-Oriented Approach, a therapeutic method that focuses on identifying unrealized possibilities while acknowledging emotional and contextual issues. Hear Bill’s own history with mental health, the biggest opportunity for couples therapists, how to help people accept the reality of how their relationships evolve, how hypnosis is connected to his work with couples, and his passion for songwriting.

For all things Bill, visit BillOHanlon.org

Check out Bill’s previous episode on The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/025-love-is-a-verb-with-bill-o-hanlon

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Anita Mandley about intergenerational trauma and relationships. Anita is an Integrative Psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience in the field of Mental Health. Hear why she focuses on building relationships first, why intergenerational trauma happens, the things that influence us the most, how to ease into these discussions as a therapist, and the most important thing you can bring to a session.

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with David Khalili about mental health for men. David is a Sex and Relationship Therapist who is the Founder of Rouse Relational Wellness and Author of the “Mental Health Workbook for Men.” Hear why there’s so much shame and anxiety around sex for men, the feeling men have of being a burden for other people, why it’s important for men to feel compassion for themselves, what David’s sessions look like with individuals vs. couples, and his thoughts on toxic masculinity.

For David’s live and on-demand workshops on sex and relationships, visit RouseAcademy.com

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Heawon Hake about the Collective Consciousness, Intergenerational Wisdom, Spirituality, and PTSD. Heawon is a Social Worker, Psychotherapist, and the Author of “Daughter of Korean Freud.” Hear Heawon’s personal story with abuse and how she got interested in psychotherapy, how PTSD ties to the unconscious, how to feel more empowered, how she approaches suicide and death, and the fine line between blaming the victim vs. feeling a sense of empowerment about our own life.

For more about Heawon, visit KoreanAmericanPsychotherapist.com

Check out Heawon’s book list at KoreanAmericanPsychotherapist.com/BookList

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Tina and Michael LeBlanc about their book, The 10 Habits of Happy Couples. Tina and Michael are the wife-husband duo behind Better Yourself 365, where they work exclusively with couples. Hear how they decided to marry each other and work together, their new approach to counseling, the importance of bettering yourself first as an individual, how much they work on their own relationship, and why couples often have shame in seeking therapy. 

For more about Better Yourself 365, visit BetterYourself365.com

GET A FREE chapter from their book - The 10 Habits of Happy Couples: https://betteryourself365.lpages.co/the-10-habits-of-happy-couples/

Get their TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP digital course for couples at 34% off! https://betteryourself365.lpages.co/taking-charge-course-special-deal-for-podcast-listeners/

FOR THERAPISTS - If you want to preview their course for couples for free before referring it to clients, just contact Tina by email to request a FREE CODE: [email protected]

The next cohort of the Couples Therapist Business Mastermind starts in January. Learn more here.

In this episode Shane talks to bestselling author, Amy Morin, about her new book, The 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do. Shane was honored to be one of the many relationship experts who contributed to the book.

Amy is the author of 6 books including:

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do 13 Things Strong Kids Do 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Workbook 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do

Find out more about her and check out her podcast at amymorinlcsw.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Business Mastermind.

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode Shane interviews Vienna Pharaon. She is an LMFT who has a huge following on instagram where she posts helpful advice for people. She is also the author of the book, The Origins of You.

She has a new podcast called This Keeps Happening. Find out more about her at viennapharaon.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is a recording from an Inner Circle Webinar with Shane. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode Shane talks to renowned emotionally focused therapy trainer, Jim Thomas. They discuss doing intensive work with couples, particularly using EFT. 

Find out more about him at jimthomas.care

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins talks about dealing with criticism, how to resolve conflict, and healthy communication for couples. 

Dr. Jessica Higgins hosts the Empowered Relationship Podcast and you can find out more about her at drjessicahiggins.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Polyvagal Theory is a concept that is gaining a lot of momentum in the therapy world and has been written about a lot by Stephen Porges and Deb Dana.

In this episode Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen talks all about Polyvagal Theory and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Becca is a university professor and EFT trainer. 

Find out more about her at drrebeccajorgensen.com

To explore options for EFT trainings go to https://www.trieft.org/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode I spoke with Rachel Dorneanu about doing Premarital Counseling. In my mind this doesn't have to mean people are intending to get married, but has become more of a term to describe people in the beginning phases of their relationship. 

Sometimes the issues people are facing in the beginning phases are similar to anyone else in their relationships, but there are some very specific things that tend to be helpful for couples during this time. It is really important for couples to have the ability to communicate their boundaries, speak their truth with respect, and make agreements about what they want in the relationship. Premarital Counseling can be helpful for people to think of topics they may not have even thought to discuss.

Rachel has a premarital counseling training coming up on Aug. 26. If you are interested in finding out more click the link: Prepare Enrich Facilitator Training.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode Dr. Stan Tatkin talks about the importance of having a "we" or "us" mindset in our relationships. He also talks about some common relationship conflicts people face in their relationships and how to work through them.

This is exactly what his new book is about, In Each Other's Care.

Find out more about Dr. Stan Tatkin at https://www.thepactinstitute.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Want to join a small group of Couples Therapists who want to take their business to the next level? See if this 5 month mastermind experience might be a good fit for you.

In today's episode, Dr. Karen Gail Lewis talks about the impact of siblings on our lives and relationships. She recently wrote a book called Sibling Therapy: The Ghosts from Childhood that Haunt Your Client's Love and Work.

Dr. Karen Gail Lewis has been a marriage and family therapist for over 50 years, is a speaker, workshp presenter and the author of several books. Find out more about her at drkarengaillewis.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Sometimes as Couples Therapists we forget that our job is not to "save" relationships. Sometimes that is just not possible. Our job is to help people grow, challenge their limiting beliefs, and live happily ever after whether they stay in their relationship or not.

Katherine Woodward Thomas has been a guide for helping people uncouple when they decide that staying in the relationship isn't the right choice for them. She is the author of Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After and Calling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attracting the Love of Your Life. 

Find out more about Katherine at www.consciousuncoupling.com

She has a free Workshop coming up called the Art of Conscious Completion: How to Avoid the 3 Most Common Breakup Mistakes that Cause Suffering, Steal Joy, and Prevent Future Love. Click for more details.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Akilah Riley-Richardson is a published researcher, couples therapist, educator and presenter. I would highly recommend attending her training. I have copied and pasted part of the information page below which is also what we talked about in the podcast.

Find out more about the training here: Systemic Trauma in Couples Therapy

You have a precious opportunity with the couples you see:

You can help them grow their relational imagination — their ability to conceive of the intimacy they are worthy of.

Unfortunately, in many relationships, especially those where one or more partners has a marginalized identity, systemic trauma has made this very difficult.

From homophobia to racism to xenophobia, your clients may be impacted by marginalization… And even they might not be aware of how it is affecting their relationship.

But it does show up in intimate relationships. As hyper-aroused nervous systems, as disagreements about how to handle discrimination, as one partner feeling deeply, traumatically misunderstood.

Any of these responses to systemic trauma can deteriorate the couples’ relational imagination to the point that they feel totally stuck.

For marginalized couples and partners, intimacy is often experienced as an elusive relational privilege.

I have developed a model for assessing and repairing the impacts of systemic trauma that I call the P.R.I.D.E. method. You can use this approach with couples who are reckoning with any kind of systemic trauma or marginalization to lead them to Liberatory Connections, greater intimacy, and increased relational privilege.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

There is an emerging trend in our society right now of adults in their 20s and 30s continuing to live at home with their parents. There are a lot of reasons for this reality that I talk about on this episode with Dr. Lawrence Steinberg. 

Dr. Larry is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Temple University and author of several books on parenting. His new book, You and Your Adult Child: How to Grow Together in Challenging Times, was just published and is now available.

Get a copy of the book

Find out more about Dr. Steinberg at laurencesteinberg.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

If you work with couples you know that a large percentage of the people seeking help have experienced some sort of infidelity in their relationship. Sometimes, people wonder if it's even worth trying to repair the relationship. 

Even if you use the best possible interventions in therapy, some cases seem to not get any better. Dr. Talal Alsaleem and I discuss his new book called Unfaithful and Unrepentant: Affairs Beyond the Hope of Repair where he discusses this topic.

Dr. Talal Alsaleem is an expert at helping couples to do this. He also does training and supervision for other therapists to learn how to more effectively help couples who have been affected by infidelity.

Learn more about Dr. Talal Alsaleem here.

And here for training on working with affairs

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Back in episode number 176, Lousia Krause talked about using the Enneagram in Couples Therapy. In this episode, Kristy Gaisford and I continue that conversation and talk about what different personality types look like in a relationship. The enneagram is a system of personality types that helps people understand themselves and others. There are nine different personality types.

Find out more about Kristy Gaisford at loveworkrelationships.com

Find out more about the Enneagram 2.0 podcast

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

If you've been working with couples for long, you know that betrayal is a theme that comes up a lot. Whether it is a full on sexual affair or just the small betrayals of everyday life. Many couples are going to need help healing in their relationships or possibly even grieving in a divorce situation.

LaDonna Carey has been a therapist for over 30 years, helping couples through the trauma of betrayal, both in their relationships and as individuals going through divorce.

You can find out more about her at ladonnacarey.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

More than ever it is clear from the research that trauma has a huge impact on all of our relationships. It is important for therapists to have some background knowledge or training to help them maintain a sense of safety when people get triggered.

Irina Wen, PhD talks about how the attachment system works and how important self care is for therapists. She is a professor at NYU, an Emotionally Focused Supervisor and has a private practice.

You can find out more about her at touchtonepsychologynewyork.com

and irina_wen_psychologist on instagram

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

In this episode, Natalie Lue talks about her new book called, The Joy of Saying No: How to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaiming Boundaries, and Saying Yes to the Life You Want. We talked about how in order to say no to your partner it requires authenticity and vulnerability which are going to be helpful to the relationship overall.

Find out more about Natalie Lue at https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

In this episode, Louisa Krause talks about using the Enneagram in Couples Therapy. The Enneagram is a system of personality types that helps people understand themselves and others. It is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types.

Find out more about Louisa Krause at relationalsolutions.net

Find more enneagram stuff for therapists through The Narrative Enneagram

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is a miniworkshop on how to work with people who are emotionally avoidant. There are two primary ways that emotional avoidance gets formed based on the environment in which the person grew up. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode, Cyndi Darnell talks about how we need to change the way we talk about sex, gender, pleasure, and power. We also discuss some of the mistakes that therapists make when talking about sex with their clients. 

To find out more about Cyndi Darnell visit cyndidarnell.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the free virtual event: State of Mental Health in America

When there is betrayal in a relationship, everything about the person's identity has been chipped away. People in this situation are left to figure out who they are and what they stand for.

In this episode, Lora Cheadle and I discuss the challenge of recovering from a betrayal. She describes her 5 step process called FLAUNT! she uses to help people in this situation.

Lora Cheadle inspires audiences to break free from burnout, process betrayal, and reclaim their agency and self-worth. She is a former attorney, bestselling author, international speaker and life coreographer.

Find out more at loracheadle.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode, Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye, talks about the idea of misunderstandings about the meaning and experience of love. All human beings experience injuries to the heart at times in their life. As therapists, we must deepen our work both with our clients, but also ourselves in order to move back into the reality of love. 

Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye is an integrative psychotherapist and founder of the Heart Nest Center for Peace and Healing in Baltimore. There, she lovingly serves women, couples, other healers, and small groups. Her approach to healing is a blend of wisdom, science, and ancient spiritual practices. She is a student of the late Sufi Master Sidi Muhammad al-Jamal of Jerusalem, and incorporates Sufi healing into her with individuals, families, and communities.

Find out more about her at  drsabrinandiaye.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

When Terry Real started working with couples in the 90s he found that the conventional wisdom just did not work. Eventually he created his own model for working with couples called Relational Life Terapy. 

He has also published several books including his most recent called US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. 

Find out more at terryreal.com

If you want to buy the book and get the Staying in Love workshop free here is the link https://terryreal.com/freecourse/

Live workshop starting June 14 https://summit.terryreal.com/special/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

In today's episode I spoke with Dr. William Doherty about the role of a therapist when clients bring us difficult situations, decisions, and ethical dilemmas they are facing in their lives. As therapists we are in a unique position to help people these very personal issues, but we have to be skilled at how we do that.

Dr. William Doherty has been a leader in pushing the field of couples therapy to new heights. He is a professor at the University of Minnesota, creator of Discernment Counseling, and author of several books on therapy and relationships including his new book, The Ethical Lives of Clients: Transcending Self-Interest in Psychotherapy.

Find out more at dohertyfoundation.org

and discernmentcounseling.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In our society, it is modeled from a very young age to suppress our emotional experience. This is traumatic for children in particular and for humans in general. 

Somatic experiencing is a type of therapy which helps people to become more embodied and move into acceptance of the emotions they are experiencing. 

Dr. Abi Blakeslee, SEP, CMT, MFT, Ph.D., integrates Somatic Experiencing with clinical research, the psychobiological principles of attachment, psychodynamic therapy, and somatic bodywork in her practice and teaching. She has conducted original research on the role of implicit memory in Somatic Experiencing with a committee that included Dr. Daniel Siegel.

Find out more at abiblakeslee.com

For practicioners at traumahealing.org

Information on the relationship repair workshop

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

If you are a couples therapist, you probably know a lot about things that work to make couples feel more connected and healthy in their lives and relationships. Jules sheds light on the science of "why" therapy works. 

Find out more at cleariskind.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

They discuss the importance for therapists to have some background in the science of psychotherapy in order to best serve their clients. This information is very lacking so far in the world of therapy. They also have a magazine and podcast called the Science of Psychotherapy.

Find out more at scienceofpsychotherapy.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., are partners in life and work. 

They are authors of the classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, and ten other books including their newly published: Doing Imago Relationship Therapy: In the Space Between.

Find out more about them at harvilleandhelen.com and

about Imago Relationship Therapy at imagorelationships.org

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

This is a very vulnerable episode with Wesley Anne Little where she talks about her experiences as a therapist going through cancer, chemo treatments, and a lot of unpredictability in her life. 

It is so important for us as therapists to practice what we preach when it comes to self-compassion, setting boundaries, and self-care. Wesley is a great example for us and very generously opens up about her personal experiences.

Wesley Anne Little is an LCMHC, NCC, certified emotionally focused therapist and supervisor, and certified deliberate practice therapist.

Find out more about her at wesleyannelittle.com and becomingatherapist.org

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

The reality of supremacy culture and generational trauma continue to show up in our lives in a big way. People often struggle with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and issues in their relationships and they don't understand why.

Shirani Pathak talks about these topics in the episode today. She has a podcast called Fierce Authenticity and a book of the same name. 

You can find out more about her and explore her podcast and her blog at shiranipathak.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is a recording of one of the live Inner Circle webinars which are part of the experience of being a member of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. This is a continuation of last week on the topic of self-esteem and boundaries.

The Inner Circle is open right now if you are looking to take your practice with couples to the next level. Click on the link for more information.

Self-esteem and Boundaries are an essential part of our experience as humans in relationships. It is also important to understand these concepts in order to understand how to work with shame in the couples we work with. My understanding of this is very much influenced by Terry Real and Pia Melody.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is a recording of one of the live Inner Circle webinars which are part of the experience of being a member of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. The Inner Circle is open right now if you are looking to take your practice with couples to the next level. Click on the link for more information.

Self-esteem and Boundaries are an essential part of our experience as humans in relationships. It is also important to understand these concepts in order to understand how to work with shame in the couples we work with. My understanding of this is very much influenced by Terry Real and Pia Melody.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Divorce is almost considered to be a bad word in Couples Therapy, but the reality is that there are still a lot of situations where this is the appropriate choice or where it happens to people whether they want it to or not. 

It is very important for us as therapists to be able to help people through this very difficult time. Kristy Gaisford and Jerry Sander focus specifically on helping people who are going through a divorce and have both been through a divorce themselves. 

For more information on Kristy and Jerry visit loveworkrelationships.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In the episode this week, Beth Irias from Clearly Clinical talks about feedback informed treatment with couples. She does an amazing job of explaining the importance of documentation and tracking outcomes. One of the things that resonated for me is how it all comes back to being able to serve our clients as effectively as possible by determining what is actually working in therapy.

Find out more about Beth at clearlyclinical.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

If you work with couples you know that a large percentage of the people seeking help have experienced some sort of infidelity in their relationship. As Couples Therapists, it is important that we know how to work with these couples and help them recover from the infidelity in a meaningful way.

Dr. Talal Alsaleem is an expert at helping couples to do this. He also does training and supervision for other therapists to learn how to more effectively help couples who have been affected by infidelity.

Learn more about Dr. Talal Alsaleem here.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

A lot of times, when couples work with therapists who don't have good couples therapy training, they feel like it is hard to make any progress.  In this episode, Shane talks with certified Relational Life Therapist, Dr. Pam Staples about the importance of being direct and speaking the truth to couples with love and respect.

Find out more about Dr. Pam Staples at myrelationallife.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

In this episode, Liz Phillips gives an overview of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapy model that was developed by Dick Schwartz. 

She also talks about Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO) which is a model of couples therapy that comes from IFS. In IFIO therapy, each member of the couple is invited into a process, which leads to a self compassionate, and secure relationship with him or herself.

Find out more about liz at lizphillipstherapy.ca

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Click here to learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode, Shane talks about what makes Relational Life Therapy different from many other models of Couples Therapy. One of the ways we create change in RLT is by joining through the truth. 

In order to understand this in more depth, we have to understand the importance of acceptance of emotions and treating people with love, respect and warm regard, while at the same time taking on the bad behaviors that are ruining their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your 3 free videos on Relational Life Therapy with Terry Real

In this episode, Shane is joined by Dr. Rick Butts who is one of the founders of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. This is based on the work of Pia Mellody and teaches therapists how to do Inner Child Work. 

He goes into detail about the 4 pillars of Healing Our Core Issues as well as discussing the 6 aspects of the nature of a child.

Find out more about Dr. Rick Butts at drrickbutts.com

Find out more about the Healing Our Core Issues Institute

Click here if you are interested in doing the Relational Life Therapy Level One Training

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

In this episode of the Couples Therapist Couch, Elliott Connie talks about using Solution Focused Brief Therapy when working with couples. He is an educator and author in the model of SFBT.

Find out more about Elliott and Solution Focused Brief Therapy at elliottconnie.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is with Dr. Ellyn Bader, the founder of the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. She has been teaching Couples Therapy since the 80s when everyone told her that no one would want that type of therapy.

We talk all about Differentiation in this conversation which is about each partner expressing their own needs and wants and being able to listen to the other without judgement or defensiveness.

Find out more about Ellyn at couplesinstitute.com

Find out more about the Developmental Model at couplesinstitute.com/developmentalmodel

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode, Shane talks with Francesca Maxime' about the reality that no matter how well a therapist knows a model, doing their own person work is essential to improving as a therapist.

Find out more about Francesca at:

Course on Anti-racism at therapywisdom.com maximeclarity.com ReRooted Podcast on the Be Here Now Network

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Kim Ploussard is a Certified Relational Life Therapist and one of the Coaches for the model. Back in episode #62 she talked about the 5 Core Issues and how they impact relationships.

In this episode she goes deeper into the understanding of the 5 Core Issues with regard to children and parenting.

Find out more about Kim at albanymarriagecounseling.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about Jennifer Lehr at jenniferlehrmft.com and weconcile.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

One of the main preconditions that is often listed for doing couples therapy is an active addiction. It is hard for couples to get closer in there relationship when problematic drug or alcohol use is present. 

In this episode Dr. Robert Navarra discusses the difference between addiction and problematic drug use and how to guide couples to make a plan when they are living with the impact of this. 

Dr. Robert Navarra is a clinician, researcher, and author specializing in couple recovery. He has created “Roadmap for the Journey: A Path for Couples in Addiction Recovery”, and “Couples and Addiction Recovery: A Gottman Approach for Therapists, Counselors, and Addiction Professionals”.

Find out more about him at https://drrobertnavarra.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I recently attended the Emotionally Focused Therapy Externship which was taught by Debi Scimeca-Diaz. She was an amazing trainer and I learned a ton about the model. In this episode, she comes on the podcast and talks about how to use EFT in your practice and why EFT is such a great way of working with couples.

Debi Scimeca-Diaz, LMFT is one of a small group of trainers in the world for Emotionally Focused Therapy. Dr. Sue Johnson, director and founder of International Center for Excellence in EFT (www.iceeft.com), has put her heart and soul into creating, researching and spreading EFT worldwide.

Find more about Debi at couplestherapynj.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year. 

As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

When we are feeling stress with our partner, in our relationships, it is often due to the fact that we are not able to stay present in the moment. In this episode, Melissa Sutor, MS, MS, talks all about the benefits of mindfulness for relationships and for a healthy life.

Melissa Sutor is a mindfulness teacher and coach, mental health counselor, and founder of Dragonfly Healing Center nonprofit organization. She leads wellness retreats to help clients reduce stress and prevent burnout. Find out more about her at melissasutor.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This episode is with Dr. Dan Siegel. He is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. An award-winning educator, he is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and recipient of several honorary fellowships. 

Dr. Siegel is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute, an educational organization, which offers online learning and in-person seminars that focus on how the development of mindsight in individuals, families and communities can be enhanced by examining the interface of human relationships and basic biological processes.

Click here to learn more about Dr. Siegel and all of his books.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This is the tenth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

TJ Walsh is a therapist, father, and someone who is very involved in the arts. Physical distancing doesn't mean we have to socially distance ourselves. More and more opportunities to get involved and socialize are becoming available as we are not able to physically be around other people. 

TJ talks a lot about the importance of being connected during this time and specifically mentions some great ideas for artists and those who want to be involved with the arts during this time.

Get connected with the Arts at inliquid.org

Find out more about TJ at tjwalshtherapy.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the ninth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

This episode is with Dr. James Hawkins. Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the eighth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

This episode is with LaDonna Carey. You can find out more about her at https://www.ladonnacarey.com/index.html

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the seventh in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

In this episode, Elisha and James Travis talk about their experience of getting married during a pandemic and all of the adjustments they had to make for their wedding.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the sixth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

In this episode I talked with Breta Collins about creating rituals of connection. She had some wonderful ideas for communicating with teenagers and seeing the opportunity in these challenging times. Find out more about Breta at dilworthcounseling.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the fifth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

Thank you to Jerry Sander for joining us today and sharing his experience. Find out more about him at https://www.thesandsoftime.net/index.html

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

This is the fourth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

Thank you to Janeen Herskovitz for joining us today and sharing her experience. Find out more about her practice at https://puzzlepeacecounseling.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

This is the third in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around early April.

Thank you to Jeanne Farnsworth from North Dakota for joining us today and sharing her experience. Find out more about her practice at https://www.sweetbriarcounseling.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Interested in learning more about becoming a therapist for Betterhelp? Click here to Try it out today!

Interested in finding a therapist with Betterhelp? Click here to get started!

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

This is the second of a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around early April.

Thank you to Selma Selma Bacevac in Jacksonville Florida for taking the time to do the interview.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Interested in learning more about becoming a therapist for Betterhelp? Click here to Try it out today!

Interested in finding a therapist with Betterhelp? Click here to get started!

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

This is the first of a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around early April.

Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Orange County, California, who works with men and couples in his practice. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Interested in learning more about becoming a therapist for Betterhelp? Click here to Try it out today!

Interested in finding a therapist with Betterhelp? Click here to get started!

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Check out Quentin's website at quentinhafner.com

Get a copy of Quentin's book, Black Belt Husband

If you've tried doing therapy with two therapists in the room, you know it can be extremely beneficial. You have the insight, knowledge and experience of two people and if you're working with a couple, there are ways to play off that dynamic in a really positive way. 

Rick and Monique Elgersma are not only co-therapists in their practice, but they are also a couple. In this episode, they talk all about all of the benefits, and also pitfalls of working in co-therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode this week is with Jourdan Virginia Blue. She talks all about the innovative approach to working with couples that she has created. Secret Love Hacks is a 12 week couples therapy approach that any therapist can use with their couples. All the sessions are direct, fast paced, easy to teach and easy to apply.

Find out more at https://moderncouplestherapist.com/

Jourdan Virginia Blue is a full-time couples therapist in Nashville, TN. She leads couples workshops annually, offers all day couples intensive sessions on the weekends, is the creator of a relationship focused podcast, and is the expert in her area for couples work in her private practice!

Find out more at https://jourdanvirginia.com/book

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of Sex and Couples Therapy at the University of Ottawa, Canada. She was awarded the Prix d’Excellence in 2000 for her teaching of Human Sexuality. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator. She is Director of the Optimal Sexual Experiences Research Team of the University of Ottawa and has a particular interest in sexual health in the elderly, disabled and marginalized populations.

Get a copy of the new book, Magnificent Sex

Please see optimalsexualexperiences.com. 

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This is a very important conversation with Dr. James Hawkins about Racialized Trauma, Racial Injustice, Privilege, Institutional Racism, and Black Lives Matter. James approaches this topic from his experience in EFT and attachment.

Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. 

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In the episode today, Dr. Marni Feuerman talks about why couples therapists make the best individual therapists. We discuss how important relationships are in everyone's lives even those who are single. We also talk about using dating apps, being a respectful dater, and what the dating scene looks like these days.

Dr. Marni Feuerman is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in South Florida. She is a nationally recognized relationship and marriage expert with specialized training in couples' therapy.

Dr. Marni is a frequently quoted expert in the media and recently released a self-help book for women who struggle with repeated unhealthy relationship patterns titled, Ghosted & Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships. Visit her official author website at DrMarniOnline.com.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In this episode, Dr. Joe Kort talks about when a straight spouse finds out that her husband has been with other men. He talks about the problems with defining acting out sexual behaviors as sex addiction as well as how to work with people in a sex positive way.

Joe is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor of Sex Therapy. He is the author of several books, lecturer, and facilitator of workshops for therapists. He is also the Director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health. Find out more at www.JoeKort.com. Find him on twitter @drjoekort

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to find out more about the online Men's Group facilitated by Shane Birkel. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This episode is a brief summary of some of how Relational Life Therapy is different from other models of couples therapy. I am a certified RLT therapist and have been mentored by Terry Real. I talk all about shame, grandiosity, patriarchy, self-esteem, boundaries, and leverage.

Terry Real is the creator of Relational Life Therapy. You can find out more about him at terryreal.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to find out more about the online Men's Group facilitated by Shane Birkel. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode this week was with two guests, Dr. Corey Yeager and Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal. They discuss the reality of race and privilege in therapy. At one point Corey said, there is no such thing as cultural competence. That implies arrival. What is more appropriate is the idea of cultural understanding and responsiveness. As human beings we will always be struggling with this and part of the work is getting comfortable with the struggle. 

Dr. Corey Yeager is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, researcher, activist, and the life coach/psychotherapist for the Detroit Pistons. 

Find him on instagram and twitter @drcoreyyeager

Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many publications, training experience and appearances in the media.

Find out more about Kirsten Lind Seal at kirstenlindseal.com

You can find both of them on the show, Relationship Reboot, WCCO TV (CBS)

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to find out more about the online Men's Group facilitated by Shane Birkel. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In this episode, Dr. James Hawkins and I explore therapist's process of growing their ability to implement the EFT model specifically. We also talked a lot about self of therapist in the room and how we have the ability to have a big impact on society.

Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

When it comes to sex in our society there is actually very little that has been written on it historically, particularly about female sexuality. At the same time it is one of the topics that people have the most interest in and influences so many of the decisions in our lives. 

In this episode, Dr. Emily Nagoski talks about desire, context, dual control model, responsive desire, and so much more. Emily is the author of the book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.

You can also go to emilynagoski.com to find out more

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

The quarantine continues for much of the world and we are all doing what we can to cope. As therapists, we have scrambled to transition to online therapy, experienced huge changes in our caseloads and are dealing with the unpredictability of what's next.

In this episode Jen Silacci talks about how we can cope with these difficult times. She describes many different strategies we can use to make sure we are taking care of ourselves as therapists. She also talks about the new nonprofit she started called coronavirusonlinetherapy.org.

Find out more at coronavirusonlinetherapy.org

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

These times during the Coronavirus Pandemic have been extremely stressful on many different levels. As we all switch over to online therapy, it is important to be mindful of the emotional this is taking on us and think about how we can be making sure to take good care of ourselves.

Dr. Amber Lyda has been doing online therapy for awhile now and has a facebook group called the Online Therapists Group. You can join for free to have access to lots of resources and support for your therapy practice online.

Find out more about Amber at amberlyda.com.

Join the Online Therapists Group on facebook.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Because of the history of power and influence in our world, we are socialized in ways that impact our relationships in a huge way. If we aren't aware of these realities, we might behave in inappropriate or boundary violating ways that are offensive to the people we care about the most.

Dr. David Wexler talks about this topic and what we can do to live in a way that is more relational for everyone. David Wexler has been teaching and writing about relationships and men's issues for decades. He is currently working on a new book about Counseling in the #Metoo Era.

Find out more about David at davidwexlerphd.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

In this episode with Kimberly Gist Miller we talk about using the Developmental Model in working with Affairs. Many of the clients we work with have a lot of trauma and it is so important to know that history and to know how to work with it.

Kimberly Gist Miller is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Frisco, Texas, outside of Dallas. She specializes in working with couples, relationships, and infidelity. She is also a trainer and speaker on different aspects of relationships and for therapists.

You can find her at myfriscocounselor.com

and a_beautiful_marriage on instagram

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

This episode is a recording of a webinar I did recently with the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook group. We talk about the implications of this time during the coronavirus pandemic. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

In the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus. 

This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online. It is a particularly helpful conversation for those who haven't practiced online before.

Clay has a podcast called The Online Counseling Podcast and an Online Counseling Directory. These can be found at onlinecounseling.com.

Clay also has a new podcast called Finding Therapy which can be found at these social media handles:

https://www.facebook.com/findingtherapy

https://www.instagram.com/findingtherapypodcast/

https://twitter.com/FindingTherapy (@findingtherapy)

Podcast: https://www.onlinecounselling.com/finding_therapy/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that.

Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational Intimacy which is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns.

Check out Martha's website at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Martha Kauppi, surveyed over a hundred therapists about their toughest cases related to sexuality. She found that the vast majority of these tough cases revolved around desire discrepancy. Guided by these responses, Martha crafted an in-depth article series designed to help therapists work with their toughest desire discrepancy cases. Now she’s sharing it, at no charge. The five-part series will show you how to: ● Untangle the relationship between menopause and desire discrepancy ● Help higher-desire partners cope, despite frustration and resentment ● Rekindle the spark in relationships gone flat ● Break the toxic cycle of internal or external pressure that further decreases desire ● Help higher-desire female partners in heterosexual relationships deal with the shame and embarrassment of not matching gender expectations Get the complimentary article series delivered direct to your inbox by signing up here.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships. 

Dr. Jonice Webb is a recognized psychologist expert with over 25 years of experience, and the author of the best-selling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children.

Find out more about Jonice Webb at childhoodemotionalneglect.com

Take the Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment

Get your copies of Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

How is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Does it matter whether external erotic material is used (porn, erotica, etc)?

Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch.

Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

Books:

• ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
• Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
• More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
• Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy.

Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and Founder of the Arkansas EFT Center. He and his wife, Anne, founded The Joshua Center where he currently practices and acts as the Executive Director. Ryan is a sought after public speaker. Ryan also supervises and consults with clinicians and leaders in Arkansas and around the world in online platforms. In his 21 year career he has spoken to groups on over 1,000 occasions.

Find out more at ryanrana.com and arkansaseft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

When couples are unable to communicate because they get emotionally escalated, it is often a result of trauma. Dr. Janina Fisher helps people become aware of these emotions and parts of themselves in a way that they can begin to heal and grow and improve their relationships.

Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches.

Find out more at janinafisher.com

Get her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back)

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017).

Her second book, about sexual self-awareness, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationship You Want, was published in February 2020. Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples, teaches and trains marriage and family therapy graduate students, and teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.”

Find out more at dralexandrasolomon.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship.

She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships.

Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom. Her blog posts, YouTube clips, books, trainings, workshops, and online courses have made her a popular go-to relationship consultant. Her work has been featured on TV, in cyberspace, and popular magazines, but she’s also a distinguished professor, licensed marriage and family therapist, and long-standing clinical member and approved supervisor in American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Dr. Love (yes that is her real surname) has authored/co-authored six books, has written numerous professional publications, and has developed multiple training programs including Love Education™. Her work literally has taken her around the world to help people understand and improve their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Why do we love in the first place? Why do we choose the partners we choose? What happens in the brain when people fall in love? These are all questions that Helen Fisher has spent her career answering. 

Helen E. Fisher, PhD  is a biological anthropologist, and Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships-- what she calls: slow love.

Find out more about Helen Fisher at anatomyoflove.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues. 

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books: 

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? 

These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going through in a way that gives them hope.

That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked below. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut. 

Check out Dr. Spring's website at janisaspring.com

Books

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. 

In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients. 

Laura is a badass business coach and you can get tons of great information and resources from her website: yourbadasstherapypractice.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Kine Corder talks about removing blocks to success, particularly stress. We talk all about money, marriage and maturing. 

Kine Corder helps people who have achieved success by society's standards, but still feel that they are missing something. She has a podcast called the Love and Money podcast, is a best selling author, psychotherapist, and international speaker.

Find out more about Kine at kinecorder.com

Take the Money Mentality quiz that Kine created

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginning of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time. 

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.

Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

Find out more about Sue at drsuejohnson.com

Find out more about EFT trainings at iceeft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Show notes to come...

One of the things we hear most frequently in our office as Couples Therapists is partners with differing levels of sexual desire. For a number of reasons this most often takes the form of a male partner desiring more sex than the female partner. 

Susan Bratton does a wonderful job of flipping conventional wisdom on it's head and giving us some great insight into how we can guide people to Revive Her Drive. 

Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Considered the “Dear Abby of Sex,” Susan’s fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transform sex into passion.

Married to her husband Tim since 1993, Susan is an author, award-winning speaker, and serial entrepreneur who teaches passionate lovemaking techniques to her fans around the world. Susan has been featured in The New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as appearing on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox, and on NBC as the “Marriage Magician."

Find out more about Susan at susanbratton.com

If you're interested in the course called Revive Her Drive for free (it is usually $197) email Susan at [email protected] and tell her Shane sent you.

Search for Susan Bratton on instagram and youtube for more valuable resources.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Kerry Lusignan talks about the benefits and structure of a couples intensive. Couples intensives are becoming more and more popular and are more effective for helping couples make deeper, more lasting progress.

Kerry is the founder of Northampton Center for Couples Therapy in Northampton, MA. She has extensive training in several different models of couples therapy such as Gottman, EFT, PECT, Daring Way (Brene Brown), and many others.

Find out more about Kerry here: https://www.northamptoncouplestherapy.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

One of the most difficult situations that couples face is when there has been an affair and they are trying to heal. Every one of these situations is unique and different, but there are some general themes that tend to come up a lot. When partners can learn the skills and are willing to work at it, the recovery can go much more smoothly.

These skills are exactly what Linda MacDonald teaches partners in her book, How to Help Your Partner Heal from an Affair. It is also the topic of our conversation in this episode of the podcast.

Linda J. MacDonald, MS, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 30 years' experience specializing in helping couples and individuals heal from infidelity. She graduated from Seattle Pacific University in 1988 with a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been in private practice since 1987 and currently works at The Shepherd's Center in the Pacific Northwest. She felt compelled to write "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" due to the lack of material that offered practical steps for unfaithful spouses who want to salvage their marriages after an affair. 

Find out more about Linda here: lindajmacdonald.com

Purchase the book on Amazon: How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Today we celebrate the 100th episode of The Couples Therapist Couch with a rerun of one of the most popular episodes. Thanks for all your support!

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Many people in our society have a belief that conflict is always a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs. In the interview today we unravel this myth about conflict and explore how it is not only helpful to relationships, but also essential. That is not to say it is always a good thing and it is very important to understand how we are approaching conflict in our relationships.

Not only are CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke experts at this and have literally written the book. They are also well practiced in the benefits of conflict in their marriage to each other.

CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are the founders of Thrive!—a coaching and consulting firm that specializes in helping individuals, leaders, teams and entire companies learn how to deal with differences to ignite creativity and innovation. They have a proven, step-by-step process for making teams great—a process they’ve honed working with hundreds of leaders and their teams for over 25 years. 

See their TedX talk called Conflict - Use it Don't Defuse it

Get their book called The Beauty of Conflict for Couples 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

When one or both couples are on the Autism Spectrum or label themselves as Aspergers, it can be incredibly helpful to be understanding of particular things that will be helpful for working with these specific couples. In this episode, Grace Myhill talks about particular topics that neurodiverse couples often seek help with.

Here is a paragraph from her website: A couple is neurodiverse when one partner is neurotypical — processes information the way most people do — and the other partner has a different neurological process, as is the case when someone has Asperger’s. This difference between the partners can affect their relationship and that is why it is important to understand that neurology matters when working on the couple’s issues.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Grace Myhill is the Director of Couple's and Partner’s Services, Asperger / Autism Network (AANE). She facilitates many Groups and Workshops for couples as well as therapists. She is a presenter at workshops for spouses and professionals on the topic of Asperger’s and you can find articles on her website: gracemyhill.com.

Here is the link to sign up for the course on working with neurodiverse couples.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In the history of our society there has been a huge amount of shame for women about their own desires. There is still a pervasive problem of not talking about what is going on and what people really want. Because no one is talking about it, no one feels accepted or validated about their desire. Author, Lisa Taddeo, breaks this silence in her book Three Women.

Lisa is a #1 New York Times bestselling author and journalist and two-time recipient of the Pushcart Prize for her short stories. She has been published numerous time and has been awarded the William Holodnok Fiction Prize and the Florence Engel Randall Award in fiction.

Check out Lisa Taddeo on Instagram and Twitter. Here is a link to her book, Three Women.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode about Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Elliot Connie talks about some amazing strategies to help couples achieve great results in their relationships. He goes into details about how much of psychotherapy is all wrong, asking the right questions, and letting the client take the lead. He describes how asking people what they want in a skillful way and staying with it, requires them to move into deeper levels of vulnerability.

Elliott Connie is a therapist, author, speaker, and educator in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. He has written several books on the topic and travels the world teaching other therapists. He founded The Solution Focused University where he hosts events, travels the world lecturing and often release free learning materials to help learners master this approach and use it in their work, even with the most challenging clinical situations.

Find out more about his books, trainings, and videos at his website here: elliottconnie.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode with Jan Bergstrom, we go into depth about the 5 Core Practices of a Healthy Life. This work was inspired by Pia Mellody and has become the foundation for many models of therapy. We talk about doing inner child work, feelings reduction work, and standing in your truth. We also touch on the importance of self-esteem and boundaries.

Jan is the co-founder of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. She is the author of the new book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood. She has trained with Pia Mellody, Peter Levine, John Kabat Zinn, Sue Johnson, and Terry Real.

For more information on trainings and workshops go to healingourcoreissuesinstitute.com.

Get Jan's book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Ari Tuckman describes how he often sees clients where what is being defined as "problematic behavior" is actually due to undiagnosed ADHD. Ari gives us a lot of information about how to work with these clients and how to help them feel more connected.

Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

Books:

• ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
• Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
• More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
• Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

When it comes to communication, there are differences in the way that we are socialized as men and women. In this conversation with Robert Kandell, he breaks down some important aspects of that communication so that people can be more successful and connected.

Robert is an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer. An expert in interpersonal communication and relationships, he has helped thousands of students find a more balanced, energized life with better relationships, more sex and more happiness.

He is the host of the highly successful podcast, TuffLove and author of the recent Amazon #1 Best Seller – unHIDDEN – A Book for Men and Those Confused By Them.

Check out Robert's website at robertkantell.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Dr. Angela Clack discusses cultural legacies that have been passed down for generations. She talks about how to make people from minority cultures feel accepted and understood and hold space for the change that needs to happen in relationships.

Dr. Clack is known for her ability to teach, supervise, coach, and provide training in various areas pertaining to children, youth, and their families. Because of her training and teaching abilities, Dr. Clack has made a massive impact in her community by reducing the stigma of people of color who seek mental health treatment. She is the Author of Women of Color Talk.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Dr. Clack at clackassociates.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Deirdra Fay talks about the transformational change that is possible when we understand attachment and trauma and are able to do deeper work within ourselves. Deirdre talks about the seven steps to a solid internal world and helps people learn how to become safely embodied.

Deirdra is the Author of Becoming Safely Embodied and Attachment-Based Yoga and Meditation for Trauma Recovery. She is also publishing a new book soon. She does a lot of teaching for therapists and has been inspired by her time living in an Ashram, yoga, mindfulness, IFS, Sensorimotor Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Deirdre at dfay.com

You can also sign up for her free Safe Guide

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

The topic of attachment has been becoming more and more prevalent in the world of relationships. The research is getting more and more clear about how important it is to understand attachment if we are to understand our own identity and our work with relationships.

Research on attachment is guided by the assumption that the same motivational system that gives rise to the close emotional bond between parents and their children is responsible for the bond that develops between adults in emotionally intimate relationships.

The interview today was with Annie Chen who wrote The Attachment Theory Workbook. Not only does it go into depth explaining the different attachment styles, it also has tons of great activities to find out more about yourself on a personal level.

Annie Chen is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Oakland, California, focused on working with couples. She holds master's degrees in counseling and Process-Oriented Psychology.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Take the attachment quiz at attachmentquiz.com

Find out more about Annie's book, The Attachment Theory Workbook

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

So many of the couples we work with are going through the baby phase of their life. Whether they are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, have lost a child, or just had a baby, there is going to be a lot of stress and a lot that is hard to predict. Unfortunately, there has historically been a lack of education about this for couples and a lack of support.

In this episode Bina Bird talks all about how to help and guide these couples as they go through these phases and how to identify if more intensive support is required.

Bina Bird is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Haslet Texas and helps couples navigate the pregnancy and postpartum phase of life.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Get your free handout about the impact of prenatal loss on relationships

Check out Bina's website here: hasletcounseling.com

Join Bina's facebook group for Maternal Mental Health Providers

In this episode with Lynn Grodzki, we talk about bringing aspects of coaching into our work with couples in therapy. There is a lot we can learn to make sure we are retaining clients in today's marketplace. Lynn talks about 9 skills we can start bringing into our practice now.

Lynn Grodzki is a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.

Her new book that just came out is called Therapy With a Coaching Edge.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Lynn is giving away a free chapter from her new book: Chapter from Therapy with a Coaching Edge

Check out Lynn Grodzki's website at privatepracticesuccess.com

Click here to see all of Lynn's books

See Lynn's site for her new book called Therapy With a Coaching Edge

In this episode, Erika Miley talks about the importance for therapists to get more comfortable with talking about sex. We all have our own sex "stuff" and the more we explore that and get education about sex, the more we can help the couples we work with. 

Erika Miley is a mental and sex therapist. She is the founder of the center for mental and sexual health. She hosts a podcast called Sex Talk with Erika Miley and has a facebook group called Sex Talk with Erika Miley Professionals Group.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Check out Erika's website at ericamiley.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible.

In this episode Martha Kauppi talks about how we all have particular biases that we bring to our work with clients and the importance of being aware of these and open to learning more about relationships we may not have worked with before.

Martha is the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy. The Institute is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns. She also offers training and support to therapists.

Her dream is to debunk myths and prominent cultural beliefs that disrupt intimate connections between partners, and help create a world where it is easy to find a therapist who can work effectively with relational intimacy challenges.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

In this episode Leanne Clarkson talks about the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy which was created by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. This is one of the leading model of couples therapy and Leanne does an amazing job of describing some of the ways this model can be used with couples. 

She identifies the 5 stages of couple's development which include:

1. The honeymoon phase  2. Differentiation  3. Exploration  4. Reconnection and  5. Synergy

Leanne Clarkson, MPCC is a clinical counselor and certified couples counselor from the Couples Institute; Bader/Pearson Developmental Model, and an Addictions Counselor in Vancouver, Canada.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Leanne's website at www.heartsmatter.ca

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

There are very different ways that men and women are socialized in our culture. Often, this reality is unspoken and creates challenges for relationships. As therapists, we frequently see this in our office and it can be a challenge to know how to address the situation. 

In this episode, Joseph Losi talks about a healthy masculinity and what men can do to be more intimate, vulnerable, and connected to their emotions. 

Joseph A. Losi, MA, LMFT walks with couples, men and women toward a more powerful belief of self and more creative, fulfilling relationships. He blends a decade of therapeutic work with couples and individuals as a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor in Training with fifteen years of experience in the Mankind Project. He helps his clients embrace authentic, vulnerable, and compassionate lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Joseph's website at josephlosi.com

Learn more about the mankind project at mankindproject.org

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.

Jasmine is a therapist in Nottingham, England. Using EFT, she helps couples have greater insight, raise self-awareness, and improve communication. She encourages and ability for couples to reach out when they feel distress.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jasmine's website at jfoulkescounseling.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful  – Suspicious of your motives when you’re being nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find more resources for working with narcissism at disarmingthenarcissist.com

Find out more about the book Disarming the Narcissist

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience.

Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today. She wrote a book called Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness. Chautè Thompson, LMHC is a licensed clinician, speaker, author, educator, consultant and certified family mediator. She offers life changing strategies, transformational empowerment, personal development and mental/emotional health messages to schools, churches, conferences, workshops and seminars.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about Chautè at brandnewmejourney.com

Visit Chautè's practice website at inspirehopehealthhealing.com

Check out Chautè's book at Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

So often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?"

Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She discusses what goes through her head in the therapy room and does it in a very compassionate, human way. She is funny, and direct, and sensitive at the same time. 

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic. She has written hundreds of articles related to psychology and culture, many of which have become viral sensations all over the world. A contributing editor for the Atlantic, she also writes for The New York Times Magazine, and appears as a frequent expert on relationships, parenting, and hot-button mental health topics in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR. Her next book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, is forthcoming in April.  Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her @LoriGottlieb1 on Twitter.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lori's website at lorigottlieb.com

Read articles from Lori's column, What Your Therapist Really Thinks

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush

We have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma. They talk about being able to anchor the process of grief resolution in the context of EFT. Connecting with emotions is an important part of the healing process and attending to the role of shame can often be a barrier to forgiveness.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather are co-directors at the Vancouver Island Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy. They have both been training with Sue Johnson since the 1990s and are EFT supervisors and trainers.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit the Vancouver Island EFT website

Visit the inEFT website for training in EFT

After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track. 

Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. He is one of the leading trainers in the world of couples therapy and offers an extensive certification program in this model. Pact has a reputation for effectively treating the most difficult couples.

Click the link to check out the previous interview with Stan in episode #35.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Stan's website at stantatkin.com

Also check out thepactinstitute.com

It is becoming more and more evident over time that incorporating aspects of trauma work into couples therapy is incredibly beneficial. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (one of the leading couples therapy models) is a great way to be able to work with how the trauma is coming up in the present relationship.

Kathryn Rheem is a certified EFT therapist and teacher of the model. She has worked closely with Sue Johnson for over ten years and does lots of training for therapists learning EFT. She is also the director of the Washington Baltimore center for EFT.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Kathryn's website at washingtonbaltimorecenterforeft.com

Couples retreats and intensives are getting more and more popular and for good reason. It is a very good way of making a lot of progress in a short amount of time. 

In this episode, Rachel Zamore and I talk all about retreats. We cover the difference between an educational couples experience with a group of couples vs. a private couples retreat vs. an intensive. We also talk about the various options like discernment retreats, affair repair retreats and repair and renewal retreats. 

Rachel Zamore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and offers compassionate, integrative counseling and relationship coaching for couples and individuals.  Rachel’s work is informed by her deep commitment to mindfulness, to loving presence, and to nurturing the wholeness and unique gifts of each person and relationship.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rachel's practice website at innerwell.org.

Visit Rachel's site for therapists at relationshipcrossroads.com

When working with couples in therapy, it can be easy to get lost in their story and stay focused on the content of what they are talking about. This often feels like a tennis match, watching the ball go back and forth. In the interview this week with Rob Fisher, he talks about how to use experiential techniques in order to help couples slow down, be more present, and tune into what is going on inside them. 

Rob is a certified Hakomi Therapist and Trainer. He teaches couples therapy internationally. He is the publisher of The Couples Psychotherapy Newsletter and the author of a book about experientially oriented couples therapy entitled Experiential Psychotherapy With Couples: A Guide for the Creative Pragmatist.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rob's website for more information

Here is a link to the Hakomi Institute website

In this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma.

She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships.

We talked about what people can do in the present when these parts of themselves get triggered. Lisa also touches on sexual abuse survivors and the experience of trying to be sexual in adult relationships. 

Lisa is a recognized expert in the strengths-based, depathologized treatment of trauma and has been in private practice for 32 years. She presents workshops and keynote addresses nationally and internationally, and is a clinical consultant to practitioners and mental health agencies in the United States, Canada, and the UK.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lisa's website for more information

Check out Lisa's most recent book, Finding your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons from the Therapist's Couch

Bringing two families together can be one of the most difficult things for couples to deal with. Whether both partners have children, or one partner has children and the other doesn't, it is a very challenging situation. Most people go into these situations without any education or experience in knowing how to handle it. They often come to us as the Therapist looking for guidance and skills they can use to improve their situation.

Enter step-parenting expert, Karen Bonnell. Karen helps families who are going through divorce, working through co-parenting situations, and guiding step-families. She recently wrote a book called The Stepfamily Handbook along with Patricia Papernow. In this episode, she talks all about what to expect and how to work with Couples who are going through the process of becoming a stepfamily.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Karen's website for more information

Check out Karen's new book, The Stepfamily Handbook

Using psychodrama in therapy has the capability to help people unlock neural pathways in ways that they wouldn't otherwise be able to with typical talk therapy. This episode explores that process as well as goes through several examples of how to use psychodrama with couples.

Walter Logeman is a therapist in Christchurch, New Zealand who specializes in working with couples. He is a supervisor, trainer, and qualified Imago therapist. He conducts workshops for therapists on how to use psychodrama with their couples. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Walter's website

In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy.

She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another.

Hedy Schleifer has been a therapist for decades and has a wealth of experience educating, training, and presenting to other therapists. Find out more about her and her model, and her trainings at hedyyumi.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Never before in history has there been such a movement towards individual happiness. For a long time people have had a strong sense of commitment to their marriage and to their families. That has all changed a lot in the last 70 years. Couples and family therapy has a evolved a lot along with this movement. More than ever before, people feel the crunch between individual happiness and marital commitment. 

For this reason, Dr. Bill Doherty along with his daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, started the Doherty Relationship Institute. He has written 15 books and regularly teaches and trains therapists and couples. He has served as President of the National Council on Family Relations and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Association. He is also the founder of Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit The dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

In this episode with the amazing Couples and Sex Therapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson, we talk about the importance of therapists being comfortable with talking about sex. We talk about how much people's sex lives (whether they have much of one or not) is a huge part of how we define ourselves. Tammy also talks about how to recover from infidelity from a sex therapist standpoint.

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a leader in the field of sex therapy. She has written books and regularly teaches other therapists how to work with couples. She has almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples and in private practice she focuses on helping people of all ages, orientations and genders find love, healing and passion.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Here is the free resource mentioned by Tammy: Six Weeks of Erotic Dates & A Protocol for Erotic Recovery

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Tammy's website at drtammynelson.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

This episode is with Jill Fischer who is a leading Emotionally Focused supervisor and trainer. She provides listeners with a fantastic overview of EFT as a model and what is necessary for training.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the leading models in the world of couples therapy. We talked about the externship, core skills training, and how your own personal work as a therapist can enhance your ability to go deeper with the couples you work with. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Jill's website at positivecouples.com

When couples come for therapy they are usually aware of anger, frustration, and lack of connection. As humans we are very good at figuring out who to blame our feelings on instead of communicating with vulnerability. Emotionally Focused therapy helps people to connect with themselves and their more authentic emotions. When people tap into their feelings of sadness, fear, and hurt and communicate those from a place of vulnerability, they are more likely to be able to be heard and connect with each other.

Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen is a trainer and supervisor for Emotionally Focused therapy. She works with a lot of therapists to help them grow in their ability to do good therapy with couples. She has a facebook group (link below) where you can learn more about the practice of EFT. She also has trainings on her website.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Click here to join the Emotionally Focused Therapy Facebook Group

Check out Becca's website at rebeccajorgensen.com

As therapists we get lots of training and do an amazing job of serving our clients in therapy. What most of us don't learn and need help on is how to build, run, and grow a great business. Whether you have clients coming in the door, willing to pay your full fee might have little to do with how effective you are as a therapist. There is a lot that most of us can do to improve our marketing, presence on social media, and networking with our communities.

Talking about all of this today is Allison Puryear from Abundance Practice Builders. Allison is passionate about helping therapists grow the practice of their dreams. She knows what it's like to love the work as a therapist, but not feel like you can even survive on what you are making. It is her mission to empower therapists to do the work they love AND make good money doing it. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Allison's website at abundancepracticebuilding.com

Join the Abundance Practice Builders Facebook Group

Learn more about the AbunDance Party membership site

For so many of us we don't have a strong sense of what we want in our lives. We spend a lot of time doing what we think will make us happy or what we think others want. Connectfulness is the process of defining what we really want for ourselves so that we can show up in our lives and relationships in a more authentic way.

Rebecca Wong is a couples therapist who works with couples in a deep way. She also works with therapists through one on one coaching, her mentorship program, and the signature retreat. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Rebecca's website at connectfulness.com

Find out more about her retreat and mentorship programs

Because of the way that men and women are socialized differently, there are particular challenges that men face when it comes to relationships. For this reason, Quentin Hafner wrote a book that provides a clear and actionable roadmap for becoming a successful husband.

The book, Black Belt Husband, outlines twelve character traits necessary to be a great husband, man and partner. Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Orange County, California, who works with men and couples in his practice. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Quentin's website at quentinhafner.com

Get a copy of Quentin's book, Black Belt Husband

Often people try to please their partner and lose sight of what they want for themselves. It is important that we speak up for what we want in our relationships in order that we don't grow resentful over time.

In this episode with Dr. Jameson and Herdyne Mercier, they talk about how marriage takes work and they are dedicated to teaching couples the skills they need to have great relationships. They work with couples in their practice in Florida. They have a podcast called the Couples Counsel and have several videos on youtube for people to be able to learn about relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Mercier Wellness and Consulting

Listen to the Couples Counsel podcast

Watch the Mercier's relationship videos

Babies aren't born with the ability to have a healthy self-esteem and good boundaries with others. As humans, we learn these things from our parents, but often the education and modeling in our upbringing is lacking in some way. This relational trauma is what causes stress and problems for us in our adult relationships throughout our lives. 

In this episode, Kim Ploussard talks about the 5 core issues that form the foundation of Pia Mellody's work. This is the framework for Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy and he credits Pia with providing the foundation for much of what he teaches. The 5 core issues are: 1. Self-esteem 2. Boundaries 3. Reality issues 4. Dependency 5. Moderation. 

Kim Ploussard works a lot with couples in her practice in Albany, NY. She also does trauma intensives and is one of the coaches for Relational Life Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Kim's website at albanylifeworks.com

Learn more about the Healing Trauma Network

In this episode, Emotionally Focused Therapist, Figs O'Sullivan, conceptualizes a case from the standpoint of working from the EFT perspective. Relational Life Therapist, Shane Birkel, talks about how an RLT therapist would work with the same couple. Figs and Shane talk through some of the similarities and differences in the two approaches and how they view couples cases that come in for therapy.

Figs is a Couples Therapist in San Francisco and the creator of the relationship quiz, Empathi. He has studied various couples therapy modalities, but is particularly dedicated to Emotionally Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Figs's practice website at therapywithfigs.com

Check out the relationship quiz Figs created at Emaphi.com

In the last few decades there has been an amazing amount of progress and movement towards freedom for individuals in many societies. While this freedom has afforded new opportunities for people, it has also brought about a new level of anxiety. At the same time, there have been advancements and change in the way we use technology. People are more connected than ever, while feeling more isolated and confused about how to navigate these new waters.

The need for relationship education is more important than it ever has been before. In this episode, Signe Simon and Simone Humphrey discuss the new rules of relationships and how we can make sense of them. They talk about what is important for therapists to understand as we are seeing more and more clients impacted by these realities in their relationships and dating lives.

Signe and Simone are both Psychologists in New York and are the founders of Lovelink. They have a wealth of information on their website and you can find out more about listening to their podcast and the relationship workshops they are offering.

Find out more at Lovelink.co.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

As couples therapists, most of use have heard of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), but the same foundations of this model are being used more and more in working with children, their parents, and their families. This model is called Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT).

From an attachment perspective, there is an assumption that parents and children are "wired" together. Parents can be an active agent in healing for the child by: (1) interrupting symptoms and supporting health-focused behaviors, (2) helping their child to process overt and underlying emotions that may be fueling problematic thoughts and symptoms, and (3) leading the repair of relational injuries if applicable.

In this episode with Gail Palmer we talk all about EFFT, how it evolved from EFT and how she is using it to effectively help parents and children who have been stuck. She has developed and teaches other therapists how to do this model.

Gail is one of the founding members of the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute and co-director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is Chair of the Education Committee. For over twenty years, Gail has trained and supervised therapists and students in Emotionally Focused Therapy and has conducted Externships, Core Skills Trainings and workshops on a number of EFT topics across Canada, the United States and Europe. She is co-author of Becoming an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist: The Workbook.

Link to the EFT home page

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy link to the new book by Jim Furrow, Gail Palmer, Susan Johnson, George Faller, and Lisa Palmer Olsen.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy. This report compares Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, The Developmental Model, The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, IMAGO, Gottman, and Internal Family Systems.

The episode today discusses the 5 losing strategies and also 5 winning strategies that couples can use in order to stop feeling stuck. Shane Birkel also gets into how to use the feedback wheel which is a valuable resource for helping couples communicate.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

As children, we grow up with money messages that we don't even realize are being implanted in us. We often have a hard time knowing how to explore or challenge the psychology of money and how it impacts each of us in a personal way.

As therapists, especially in private practice, we must have a deeper understanding of money both for our business and for our personal lives. In this episode Tiffany McLain talks about the psychology of money, how fear holds us back, having the life we want, talking with clients about money, setting fees and much more.

Tiffany McLain is a therapist in private practice in San Francisco. She is the founder of heytiffany.com which is a wealth of resources to help therapists make more money. 

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Don't forget to visit heytiffany.com for more resources

There is so much to consider when working with couples after an affair. The partner who feels betrayed is having a traumatic experience. They feel like the very person the depend on to support them is the one who has done something to hurt them more than anything. It is very important as therapists for us to have a clear sense of how we are helping people heal and recover from these situations.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte describes the method for dealing with affairs that is taught by the Gottman Institute. The process involves the steps of Atone, Attune, Attach and she goes into detail as to what this looks like in our work with clients.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT, LMHC, LMFT, a therapist in practice in Parkland, FL, specializes in working with couples.  She is an expert on showing couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. Her passion is couples, and she has dedicated her work to exclusively working with couples.  Her speciality is affair recovery and uses the Atone/Attune/Attach Method, learned from in-person training with Julie and John Gottman. Learn more about her style at www.facetofacetherapy.com

If you want to find out the top 10 reasons people cheat or take a quiz on infidelity you can take a look here https://www.facetofacetherapy.com/therapy-services/infidelity/

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

This conversation explores the debate between differentiation and attachment. This episode is with the authors of an article entitled Attachment vs. Differentiation and in that article they use Emotionally Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) vs. Crucible Therapy (David Schnarch) to compare these two models. We talk about whether these two developmental theories are compatible and whether or not it is effective for a therapist to try to integrate aspects of them at the same time, in our work with couples.

Nathan Hardy, PhD is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professor at Oklahoma State University.

Adam Fisher, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and professor at Brigham Young University.

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Check out their article here: Attachment vs. Differentiation

As Couples Therapists we know that most people just don't talk about sex. Because of this, when people face sexual issues it can feel overwhelming, anxiety provoking and stressful. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Snyder M.D. talks not only about how to help guide couples to reduce their anxiety about sex, but how to help them have ridiculously great sex.

Dr Snyder has specialized in sex and relationship therapy for over 30 years in Manhattan, where he’s helped over 1,500 individuals and couples regain closeness and satisfaction in their relationships.

Dr Snyder is also the author of one of the most acclaimed sex and relationship books of our time, LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship (St Martin’s Press, 2018).

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Stephen's website at sexualityresource.com

When couples come to us with issues related to money they often feel completely stuck. One partner might want to save for the future and one partner might want to give their children valuable experiences in the present. There is often a multitude of stuff going on beneath the surface that couples are only partially aware of.

In this episode with Kiné Corder we go into detail about how to help couples listen and understand each other's values without compromising their own. We talk about how to help couples not only communicate, but also to make a plan that they can both feel good about and provide them with structure about how to work through difficult money conversations. 

Kiné Corder is a best-selling author, international speaker, and psychotherapist specializing in financial therapy. She is the host of the Love and Money Podcast.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

To learn more check out kinecorder.com

Connect with Kine on Facebook: http://kinecorder.com/facebook

Connect with Kine on Instagram: http://kinecorder.com/instagram

Get the free money course: http://kinecorder.com/free-course

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

To learn more check out harvilleandhelen.com

and relationshipsfirst.org

As Couples Therapists we all know that Couples Therapy is much different that Individual Therapy. It is easy to get off track and wrapped up in content. It is very important that we have the ability to stay still and redirect the couples we work with to stay with the conversations of process.

As we begin to collect data in the first session it is important to have a mental framework in mind for us to think about how we are conceptualizing the case. We must also make sure to get each person's perspective separately. In this episode Shane Birkel goes into detail about how to manage that first session and how to make sure each partner feels heard in the process.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Shane's practice website at shanebirkel.com

Some of the most popular episodes on the podcast have been about working with sex in the context of Couples Therapy. There are so many dimensions to explore beyond the physical aspect of what is going on sexually. In this episode Ian Kerner talks about a range of ways to explore sexuality in more depth. Considerations include where clients fall in the life span, cultural, family of origin, medications, psychological issues, internalized beliefs interpersonal and relational issues.

Also during this episode we talk about using a science based approach, the PLISSIT model, low desire, mismatch libido, erotic temperament, sexual function issues, and the willingness window.

Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with appearances on The Today Show, The Dr. Oz Show, and NPR. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Ian's website at iankerner.com

Ian's Books

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out the free gift from Ellyn at couplesinstitute.com/therapist.couch.podcast

Books

In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy

Tell me no Lies: How to Stop Lying to Your Partner - And Yourself - In the 4 Stages of Marriage

As therapists there is a lot we can do to make people feel more comfortable and safe to open up. Doing our own work to challenge biases is an important part of helping other people grow. Part of what is helpful is to be kink aware and come at any sexual conversation with a spirit of openness, understanding, and without judgement.

In this conversation with Heather Garner, she talks about how to get educated as therapists and continue to grow in order to make people feel safe and accepted. Heather is the founder of Garnering Change Psychotherapy, a group practice near Baltimore, MD. She has a passion for working with sexual minorities. 

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Heather's practice website at garneringchange.net

Resources

Black Rose:  http://br.org/br/

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out George's website at georgefaller.com

Find out more about George's book Sacred Stress

Expectations for relationships are changing faster than ever. What was considered "normal" for our grandparent's generation is being challenged and evolving all the time. 

In this interview with Shadeen Francis, we talk about the ever changing realities of relationship expectations for Millennials and Gen Zs. Much of what we discuss is helpful and important for any relationship. 

Shadeen Francis, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist, professor, and author. She has over 7 years of experience training, supporting, and collaborating with non-profit organizations, medical schools, homeless shelters, and university counseling centres. Her work allows people of all backgrounds to improve their relationships and live the lives they desire.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Shadeen's website at shadeenfrancis.com

When we assume that someone is right and someone is wrong, we are already setting ourselves up to be frustrated in the conversation. Instead of proving who is right, it is much more effective to be understanding and compassionate, especially with our partners.

Melvin Escobar beautifully describes the dynamics of power, privilege, internalized oppression, and cultural (in)sensitivity. Melvin has a private practice in Oakland, CA. He is also a registered yoga teacher. Melvin identifies as a queer cisgender man of color and second-generation El Salvadorian. 

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Melvin's practice website: melvinescobar.com

Resources

The People's Institute For Survival and Beyond

Beyond the Culture of Separation

Showing Up For Racial Justice

The UNTraining

Most therapists don't like the idea of being in front of dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of others. We feel right at home with one or two people in our office, but we need to build confidence in showing up and getting our message out to the world.

Some of the best ways to do this is to have a fantastic website, being present on social media and reaching out to the media at large. Dr. Julie Hanks talks all about how to do this and what strategies to focus on as you begin to build your influence in the world.

Dr. Julie Hanks is the author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women. She is a private practice consultant and helps therapists grow their private practices and group practices. She has a website and facebook group called the Private Practice Toolbox. She teaches Rock the Media School for therapists.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out DrJulieHanks.com

Check out Julie's practice website at wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Julie's website for therapists, privatepracticetoolbox.net

and for the Rock the Media School

Click here to join The Private Practice Toolbox Facebook Group 

connect @DrJulieHanks on social media

Video of Julie Singing

50 years ago men and women were more likely to know what each of their different roles were and feel competent to fulfill their partner in the relationship. In the last few decades women have become more empowered in their careers and men have become more involved at home. This has been a positive evolution for humans, but has led to a lot of stress on relationships.

John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out John's website at marsvenus.com

and marsvenuscoaching.com

Going through a break up, separation or divorce is one of the most difficult things people ever have to face. In this episode, Katherine Woodward Thomas discusses how this process can be done with respect, care, and love so that everyone involved is less negatively impacted. This is especially important when children are involved. She outlines a 5 step process for couples to work together as they experience their uncoupling.

Katherine Woodward Thomas is a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities. She is the originator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin as well as creator of the Calling in “The One:” 49 Days to Love online course.

She is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After, which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. Links to those books below.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Katherine's website at consciousuncoupling.com

Find out more about Katherine at katherinewoodwardthomas.com

Books: 

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

Calling in "The One:" 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues. 

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books: 

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jonathan's website at jonathanburstein.com

In grad school we learn all the essentials to become a great therapist. Unfortunately, most therapists come out of that experience lacking any sort of preparation for running a successful business. 

It is essential for therapists to know how to run their business in order to serve as many people as possible and not have the financial stressors that impact their ability to do good work. 

This is a bonus business episode with Lynn Grodzki, a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.

She has a new book coming out in May called Therapy With a Coaching Edge.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Lynn Grodzki's website at privatepracticesuccess.com

Click here to see all of Lynn's books

See Lynn's site for her new book called Therapy With a Coaching Edge

Traditional therapy has done a great job of providing clients with a warm, loving, compassionate environment to heal. Unfortunately, it falls short when it comes to bringing up difficult truths to people when that is necessary.

In this episode, Terry Real talks about the three phases of his model, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the first of which is joining through the truth. In this way he begins the process of creating quick, profound change in the individuals and couples he works with. 

During the conversation we get into stance-stance-dance, empowering the latent, using a lot of pause, grandiosity, inner child work, and many of the other aspects of Terry's model for couples therapists (RLT).

Terry Real is a leader in the field of couples therapy. He has written 3 books which are linked below, numerous articles, and has been featured in countless interviews with media outlets. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute and continues to work with couples as well as train therapists. For more information on his upcoming level one training click the link below.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Terry Real's website at terryreal.com

Click here to learn more about RLT level 1 training

Books

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? 

These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going through in a way that gives them hope.

That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked below. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Dr. Spring's website at janisaspring.com

Books

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

Some of the most challenging couples we see in Couples Therapy are those who are no longer even in a relationship. When children are involved, it is not possible to ever completely be free of one's ex partner. 

In these situations it is incredibly important for these co-parents to work together in order to support the children in the best way possible. Karen Bonnell is an expert at helping these co-parents work through these situations in a way that is healthy for everyone.

Karen is a collaborative divorce coach who has been helping families for the last 30 years. She teaches parents the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Karen's website at coachmediateconsult.com

Books

Get a copy of The Co-Parenting Handbook: Raising Well-Adjusted and Resilient Kids from Little Ones to Young Adults through Divorce or Separation

Get a copy of The Parenting Plan Workbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Building a Strong, Child-Centered Parenting Plan

Stan Tatkin says that being a Couples Therapist is like being a good Jazz Musician. With a jazz performance, the musicians follow the flow and play in the moment. They're not following a rehearsed piece. No concert is the same. With jazz, it's the many years of practice and expertise, that give each performance its unique identity.

As Couples Therapists we bring our own experience and training to each couple we work with. The best Therapists have the ability to be present and trust their instincts to guide couples to what they need.

Stan Tatkin is the creator of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. He is the author of several books for couples which are listed below with links. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Stan's website at thepactinstitute.com

Stan's TED Talk called Relationships Are Hard, But Why?

Stan's books:

Wired for Dating

Wired for Love

Your Brain on Love (6 CD set)

Love and War in Intimate Relationships

This is the 6th edition of the bonus business episodes that are released the first (or second) Thursday of each month. This is a solo episode with Shane Birkel that is all about steps you can take if your practice isn't quite where you want it to be yet.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

People often have a hard time feeling heard and understood, especially in their relationships. In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Anabelle Bugatti talks about attachment and how that influences how we are in relationships.

Anabelle works with couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and discusses important considerations for using EFT with couples and how this framework is one of the best ways to get results in couples therapy.

Anabelle Bugatti is an LMFT and certified EFT Couples Therapist. She has a practice near Las Vegas, Nevada. She is currently pursuing a PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Anabelle's practice website at lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com

Check out her videos for therapists and couples at wehearttherapy.com

In our society, we do a terrible job of preparing new parents for what is to come in their relationship with each other. 92% of parents report increased disagreements after the baby is born. Adding to the huge amount of stress experienced in the transition to parenthood is the perception that we are not good enough or that we are doing something wrong. 

Elly Taylor has made it her mission to help couples better prepare for the journey of becoming their new version of "us". She has broken it down into 8 steps for families to understand in order to be able to thrive.

Elly Taylor is an Australian relationship counsellor, independent parenthood researcher and author of the award winning book Becoming Us. Elly is the founder of Becoming Us, an organisation created to teach helping professionals her research and evidence-based approach to the transition into parenthood and to support mothers, fathers, partners and families to thrive.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Elly's website at ellytaylor.com

Buy Elly's book: Becoming Us: 8 Steps to Grow a Family that Thrives

As couples therapists we know how important a good foundation is. Educating couples about relationship skills right from the beginning can set them up for a lifetime of fulfillment. Unfortunately, we are not taught nearly enough about what it takes to have a happy, healthy relationship in our society.

Mayi Dixon helps couples with this by offering premarital counseling in her private practice in Atlanta, Georgia. She works with these couples to learn how to have a fulfilling relationship and gain understanding right from the beginning.

Mayi has worked in the mental health field for over 10 years. Mayi specializes in Marriage and Family Therapy and Play Therapy. She works a lot with adults recovering from infidelity, attachment, adult parent child relationships, and healing from sexual trauma with an emphasis on attachment. Currently, Mayi host her own relationship show on Blog Talk Radio entitled the “Heart and Soul of Relationships”. Mayi works as an Adjunct Professor at Mercer University and is a doctoral student at Mercer University studying Counselor Education and Supervision. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Mayi's website at premaritalbliss.com

Follow Mayi on instagram at http://www.instagram.com/innovcounseling

Follow Mayi on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/innovcounseling

Everyone knows someone who has been impacted by infidelity. It is such a prevalent reality in our society, yet there is still so much taboo and limited understanding in the way that we talk about it. There tends to be a lot of shame and judgement involved which can make it even more difficult for couples to work through it.

In this interview with Terri DiMatteo we talk about how to help couples affected by infidelity and betrayal. We go into detail about how to guide couples to have a different perspective and learn to trust and depend on each other again. 

Terri DiMatteo is a Licensed Professional Counselor in New Jersey and the founder of Open Door Therapy. She spent many years as an Early Childhood Specialist where she learned about the work of John Bowlby and Attachment Theory. She brings that understanding into her work with couples. She specializes in helping couples cope with infidelity. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Terri's practice website at opendoortherapy.net

Check out Terri's blog loveBONDS

Here is a link to her podcast on iTunes. It is called Love Bonds

*Bonus business episode. We all have trauma from being in school and getting a big red X on a paper. When people mention the word paperwork it can definitely trigger an anxiety response in a lot of people. 

Maelisa Hall, with her business QA Prep is not only making paperwork more fun, but also making it meaningful to enhance the work we do with clients. 

Maelisa is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who has created educational programs to help therapists make paperwork a valuable part of the work that they do in therapy. She is also the co-founder of My Biz Bestie with Amber Hawley.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and once a month there is an episode about the business of private practice.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out QA Prep at qaprep.com

Get your free private practice paperwork Crash Course

Check out My Biz Bestie

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is one of the most well regarded models being used by couples therapists today. In this episode Jim Thomas offers a glimpse into some of the aspects of EFT that make it so powerful when used well with couples.

Jim Thomas has received supervision from the founder of EFT, Sue Johnson and is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer and a member of the ICEEFT Strategic Planning Committee dedicated to spreading the word about EFT. He still does a lot of work with couples, much of which is in intensive therapy sessions. Jim also does a lot of workshops and trainings for therapists. Jim is facilitating an EFT externship on May 30-June 2 in Denver.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Jim's practice website at www.jimthomas.care

Find out more about the EFT Externship Jim is leading.

A meaningful apology can transform a relationship. A lackluster apology can just as easily lead to major problems in people's ability to connect. 

For the past 2 decades, Dr. Harriet Lerner has studied the art of the apology and recently just published her latest book called Why Won't You Apologize?

Harriet Lerner is one of the nation's most loved and respected relationship experts, renowned for her scholarly work on the psychology of women and family dynamics. She has written 12 books including the New York Times bestselling The Dance of Anger, which has sold several million copies.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Watch Harriet's TED talk on apologizing: TED Talk

Find out more about Harriet's book, Why Won't You Apologize?

Visit Harriet's website at https://www.harrietlerner.com/

All couples get stuck in emotional interactions and patterns that lead to them feeling hurt and wanting to be loved at the same time. It can feel very confusing when the person who we feel is hurting us is also the one who we want to love us.

Figs O'Sullivan talks about getting beyond the content of these couples interactions to guide couples to be more understanding and feel more connected.

Figs is a Couples Therapist in San Francisco and the creator of the relationship quiz, Empathi. He has studied various couples therapy modalities, but is particularly dedicated to Emotionally Focused Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Figs's practice website at therapywithfigs.com

Check out the relationship quiz Figs created at Emaphi.com

When we think about problems in our relationships we often want to place blame on our partner and attack their character. When this happens it makes people feel stuck and helpless to do anything about the situation. 

In the conversation with Bill O'Hanlon, he talks about guiding couples to express themselves by using specific examples and come up with specific solutions that empower them to break through the areas where they feel stuck.

Bill O'Hanlon is the founder of Solution-Oriented Therapy and the author or co-author of 36 books. He has given over 3500 talks in 27 countries and his work has been featured in many media outlets including an appearance on Oprah.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Bill's website at billohanlon.com

For Couples: Stop Blaming, Start Loving, AKA: Love is a Verb

For Therapists: Rewriting Love Stories

To Use in Therapy: Couples Therapy Homework Planner

There are specific things for therapists to think about when working with a couple who has been impacted by autism. It could be a child of the couple or one of the partners who is on the spectrum, but whatever the case, there is a lot to consider. 

This conversation with Janeen Herskovitz sheds light on many of those concepts for therapists to keep in mind. 

Janeen is a Mental Health Counselor in private practice in North Florida. She loves helping autism spectrum families live happier more peaceful lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Janeen's podcast website at autismblueprint.com

Visit Janeen's practice website at puzzlepeacecounseling.com

As therapists, we have so much to offer people, but we are often afraid. Whether it is a case of imposter syndrome or just getting stuck in the day to day, it can be easy to stay in our comfort zone.

In this bonus business episode with Ernesto Segismundo, he talks about how to put ourselves in new situations in order to see things from a different perspective and get fresh ideas.

Ernesto is always challenging therapists to create content on social media, particularly using video. He helps therapists find their voices and share their messages with the world.

He has a facebook group for therapists who want to learn more about using video called FYLMIT.com--Video Marketing for Therapists.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday and a bonus business episode released the first Thursday of each month.

Please rate and subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Ernesto's website FYLMIT.com

Visit Ernesto's group practice site at cavfamilytherapy.com

Click here to join the FYLMIT.com Facebook Group

In the field of Couples Therapy there has been very little research on gay couples. Fortunately, more and more is being done all of the time. It is important for Couples Therapists to be educated on this research and also understand how they can communicate in a way that is inclusive.

This episode was with Alapaki Yee and Salvatore Garanzini, the founders of the Gay Couples Institute with locations in San Francisco, San Diego, and New York. They created the institute because they disagreed with many of the things their gay and lesbian friends were being told in their own relationship therapy that were not based on any research.

They both have advanced training in the Gottman method and Salvatore is a Certified Gottman Therapist. They continue to do research and are at the forefront of what is working in couples therapy. Please, please, please read the article below about their work!!!

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday.

Please rate and subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit The Gay Couples Institute website at gaycouplesinstitute.org

Article:

Gottman Method Couples Therapy Established as Evidence-Based Treatment for Same-Sex Couples

This is the first solo episode on the Couples Therapist Couch. Shane Birkel talks about how love changes over time and normalizes how different it might feel at different phases of the relationship. In order to keep love alive with our partners, it takes a lot of work. 

As the New Year approaches it is important for all of us to set relationship goals along with all of the other areas of our lives. 

Thank you all for listening in 2017. There are already lots of great episodes scheduled for 2018. I appreciate all of you!

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.