Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

In Part 2 of my conversation with Father Richard Rohr, we talk about facing our shadows and living and loving through the second half of life, and we laugh. A lot. What a gift to be with him at the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque. A deep and true blessing.

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I flew to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to spend the day with Father Richard Rohr. We laughed, I cried a little, we laughed some more, and I told him why his work pisses me off sometimes. He thoroughly delighted in that last part. In Part 1 of this special two-part series recorded at the Center for Action and Contemplation, we focus on his writing in Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps and just a few of the quotes — on spirituality, suffering, gratitude, and grace — that have changed and rearranged me over the years.

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We’re back with Part 2 of my conversation with Chris Germer, a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and we’re talking about fierce compassion, which is something so many of us are trying to figure out right now. When there’s so much pain and hurt in the world, we want to be a voice. We want to speak up and speak out. We want to take action, and we want to do so from a place where we are healing pain. In this episode, Chris and I talk about what’s actually possible for us as humans and how we can respond to pain and hurt without causing more of it and without self-protecting and distancing.

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I’ve been waiting my whole life to talk to Chris Germer. He is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and he co-developed the Mindful Self-Compassion program with Kristin Neff, which has been taught to 200,000 people worldwide. I recently read an article written by Chris called “The Near and Far Enemies of Fierce Compassion,” and as soon as I read it, I said, “Put him on the podcast list. I’ve gotta talk to him.”

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We’re back with Part 2 of my conversation with Bono, recorded live at the historic Paramount Theatre and presented by Austin City Limits Festival’s Bonus Tracks. In this episode, we take it back to Bono’s early days in Ireland — most notably the school where he’d meet his future bandmates, his future wife, and a headmaster who modeled what it was to live in the radical center, in a space forged by complication and contradiction. “How casually our destiny arrives,” Bono writes of this formative era. From there, our conversation rolls through matters of faith, creativity, and what it means to truly surrender.

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Welcome to Part 1 of my conversation with Bono, recorded live at the historic Paramount Theatre in Austin, Texas. I have been a U2 fan since the very beginning, and this event, presented by Austin City Limits Festival’s Bonus Tracks, was sheer magic. I don’t know what happened, but we got mentally in sync, spiritually locked in together, and we talked about everything from rock and roll to love and faith. His new memoir, Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story, is the ultimate love story — to his wife, Ali; to his family; and to all of us who’ve found all kinds of peace and challenges in the music and the lyrics.

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It’s Part 2 of my conversation with Attica and Tembi Locke, writers, showrunners, executive producers, and the creative sister duo behind the Netflix series From Scratch, based on Tembi’s 2019 memoir of the same name, about love, Sicily, and finding home. In Part 1, we talked about the series and their story, and as we jump back into our conversation, we are talking about the success of this show.

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I’m talking with Attica and Tembi Locke, writers, showrunners, executive producers, and the creative sister duo behind the Netflix series From Scratch, based on Tembi’s 2019 memoir of the same name, about love, Sicily, and finding home. We started talking about the series and their story, and then we really went everywhere from there — this turned into a full-blown LIFE conversation. Which, if you’ve seen the series, will not surprise you at all.

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It’s Part 2 of our two-part series with Anand Giridharadas, author of The Persuaders: At the Front Lines of the Fight for Hearts, Minds, and Democracy. I’m still thinking about Anand’s story and how his experiences informed this concept of persuasion as being the heart of democracy. In this episode, we talk more specifically about the real stories included in the book — some scary, some incredibly inspiring — and he shares more about the individuals behind this meaningful work, which is built on meeting people where they are.

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I love this two-part series with Anand Giridharadas, author of The Persuaders: At the Front Lines of the Fight for Hearts, Minds, and Democracy. Every now and then, I come across something that makes me think in a completely new way, and this was one of those times. We talk about this concept of persuasion — the ability to reach across differences and believe that others are movable, as well as the idea that I have the capacity to be moved — as being the heart of democracy. I’m so glad you’re here for this conversation, and get ready to be persuaded.

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I think y’all know that I’m a fifth-generation Texan, and I have another Texan with me today: Beto O’Rourke. He is running for governor of Texas, and early voting starts next week on October 24th, with Election Day coming up on November 8th. But beyond the timeliness of voting, I wanted to connect on the timeliness of brave leadership — because we really need courageous, real, authentic, empathic leaders right now. So I wanted to have him on the podcast to learn a little bit more about his approach, his vision, and what he wants for us in our state. And, you know, if you’re not in Texas, there’s a saying, “As Texas goes, so goes the nation.” I think you’ll find this interesting. Whether you agree or disagree with Beto’s position on things, I think he’s a strong leader with a different approach — and I love the authenticity. I think you’ll find his story and his vision for politics and life in general compelling. We need to be talking to more and more leaders about what their vision is, what their concerns are, who they are as people. You know, we always say on Dare to Lead, who you are is how you lead, and I think we got a really good picture of that in this conversation.

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The sisters are here for our final installment in a three-part series on The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy, from Drs. John and Julie Gottman. And we’re talking about our reaction to the book and what we learned from the Gottmans in Parts 1 and 2. Their tactical, practical, get-your-vulnerability-on work calls us to action, so we commit to doing some specific things over the next weeks. It’s scary. It’s vulnerable. But we’re ready to take on this seven-day journey.

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We’re back with Part 2 in our three-part series with Drs. John and Julie Gottman, respected, expert clinicians and researchers who’ve been studying couples and relationships for decades. We’re talking about their new book, The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy. And I’m telling y’all, this is the real deal. To love somebody and to ask to be loved — to want to be seen and to show your inner self — this is courage and vulnerability. This is bravery. This is love.

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Think you can’t make relationship changes in a week? Drs. John and Julie Gottman say, yes, actually, you can — and they have 40 years of breakthrough research on marital stability and divorce prediction to prove it. The Gottmans are back, by popular demand, and they’re here to talk about their new book, The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy. In this first of a three-part series, we talk about their work, their findings, and some huge hacks that were mind-blowing for me. This book feels so hopeful because it’s direct, it’s really honest, and it’s so actionable.

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If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the past, maybe, 50 years, but specifically, research-wise, over the past 25, it’s that every time we think we’re completely alone in struggle, that is exactly when we need to remember that the human experience is never a singular experience. I’m sharing this reflection in the hopes that it resonates with some and to remind myself that I’m not alone. I’m glad you’re here.

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We are back with Part 2 of our reader and audience Q&A on Atlas of the Heart, with questions from both the book and the HBO Max series. If you listened to Part 1, oh wow, these questions are hard — and I don’t have all the answers, which I love. Because that means I get to learn more, and I’m learning right along with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett.

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In this first episode of a three-part Sisters Book Club series, Ashley and Barrett turn the tables and interview me about Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. They ask all the questions everyone wants to know, and they pull no punches — starting with stories about childhood superpowers, to matters of biology, biography, behavior, and backstory in the context of emotions and the book itself. We also talk about how Atlas is broken up into three sections, how the data was collected and analyzed to present the 87 emotions covered, and how powerful it is to have vocabulary that’s as expansive as our experiences.

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I’m talking with none other than the amazing, singular Viola Davis about her new memoir, Finding Me. This book, and this conversation, are gifts — deep reflections on a turbulent childhood, the journey to overcoming trauma, and how she found her voice in the often brutal entertainment industry. She shares some extraordinary experiences that have changed her, and because of who she is, they’ve in turn changed us.

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I’m smiling from ear to ear about this conversation with Domee Shi, a Chinese-born, Academy Award–winning Canadian animator, storyboard artist, and director for Pixar. With Bao, Domee became the first woman to direct a short film for Pixar, and with Turning Red — which was released on Disney+ in March 2022 — Domee became the first woman to direct a feature-length project for the animation studio. It was so fun to connect with her about creativity, learning, curiosity, and her incredible, groundbreaking work. Also, she may have inspired my new life motto.

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In Part 2 of an unforgettable and transformative conversation with Father Richard Rohr, the Franciscan friar and I really go there — asking and answering hard questions about certainty and the ego, a cosmic God who’s bigger than what Christianity often espouses, and the spiritual yearning of today’s up-and-coming generations. It’s a deeply holy discussion that I hope will resonate with you no matter where you fall on the spiritual spectrum.

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Anyone who knows me or my work knows the immeasurable influence Father Richard Rohr has had on my life. Rohr is a Franciscan friar and ecumenical teacher, and his words live on Post-it notes all around my house; his numerous books are tattered and torn, as I’ve returned to them time and again, especially in the past couple years. In this magical two-part conversation, Father Richard graciously expands on just a few of the quotes that have turned my world upside down, sharing his thoughts on what it means to be humbled by the mysteries of faith; how we often misinterpret God as a dictator, not a lover; and how we’re ill-equipped to grasp the infinite nature of God and his love. This truly unforgettable conversation left me speechless — and filled me to the brim with love and connection.

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I’m talking again with my friend Emmanuel Acho about his new book, Illogical: Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits. True to form, Emmanuel shows up with pure energy and thought-provoking opinions — which may seem illogical but actually make so much sense. He also shares some real wisdom around how to handle naysayers and critics while also staying open, being receptive, and taking care of ourselves in the process.

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Welcome to Part 2 of my conversation with Susan Cain, the bestselling author of Quiet, about her new book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. This book is giving me life right now. I feel deeply seen in this needed counterbalance to our society’s push for constant positivity.

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This conversation is a bittersweet breath of fresh air for me. It’s the first of two episodes with Susan Cain, the bestselling author of Quiet, about her new book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, a needed counterbalance to our society’s toxic push for constant positivity. It gives a high five to those of us who know that melancholy is our secret strength, and it gives the rest of us permission to lean into our bittersweet feelings, which actually make us more hopeful and more whole.

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In this episode, I’m sitting across from my friend Karen Walrond and she’s helping me access joy. You may remember Karen from a two-part podcast we did last year on her book The Lightmaker’s Manifesto, which is all about working for change without losing your joy. And I literally just called her and said, “Will you be on the podcast this week, because I’m in such deep struggle and I can’t access any joy? I feel guilty if I’m happy about something because the world is such a shit show right now and people are in so much pain.” If you’re struggling with how to be fully connected in your life and feel joy and acknowledge beauty and also fight for the things that we need to fight for right now, this will be a great podcast for you. It was a game changer for me.

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I’m talking with tech journalist Kara Swisher and NYU professor Scott Galloway, co-hosts of the podcast Pivot, a weekly discussion on the latest news as it relates to the worlds of business and tech. I start to do some word association with them, but we quickly go deep and take a hard, illuminating look at Big Tech. This is a great conversation for those of us who regularly engage with tech platforms but maybe who don’t understand their motivations, what they’re up to next, and the myriad ways they shape our lives and democracies.

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In his brave new book, The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves, Shawn Ginwright asks a simple but profound question, “Can we heal the world without healing ourselves?” I’ve always believed the answer is no, but I’ve never seen anyone propose a more daring solution than what’s in this book and conversation. There is so much wisdom in these four pivots.

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In this episode, I’m talking with Jason Reynolds, #1 New York Times bestselling author of more than a dozen books for young people, about where he draws inspiration for his characters, his role as the National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature, and his latest book, Ain’t Burned All the Bright. I’m deeply inspired by Jason’s art and craft — I loved every minute of this conversation.

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We’re celebrating the audiobook release of Atlas of the Heart with a bonus Unlocking Us episode! The excerpt in this episode is from chapter 10, titled “Places We Go When the Heart Is Open.” We’re talking about love, lovelessness, and heartbreak. I’m excited to give you a first listen here, and I’m grateful that we’re learning and working to reconnect with ourselves and with each other, together.

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I was looking for some certainty around the tough issues of censorship and misinformation — legal definitions, rules, and clear lines — so I called Ben Wizner, a lawyer with the ACLU and the director of its Speech, Privacy, and Technology Project. I’d hoped we’d have a Free Speech 101–type conversation, with tidy resolutions and a clear path forward. But what I suspected, and Ben confirmed, is that the law gives us very few answers to the hardest questions that we have. So in this episode, the two of us grapple with issues of balance and boundaries, unpacking the harms that speech can cause and the harms that censorship can cause. I’m glad that we had over an hour to talk, because as tempting as it is to approach issues like this with firm certainty or with 140 characters, it’s much more important to unpack the nuances and unlock the opportunity for growth and learning.

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We’re back, and we are starting the year with a deep dive into values. I’m not a fan of resolutions, but I absolutely believe in the power of resetting. I can’t think of a more powerful way to double down on ourselves than getting clear on our values and the behaviors that support them — and the shit that gets in the way. Join us as Barrett and I talk through a values exercise PDF that we made for you to do your own values work. Of all the work we do with leaders and teams, this is probably the biggest game changer. Let’s go!

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It’s Part 2 of our two-part episode crossover from our other podcast, Dare to Lead with James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, which has sold more than 5 million copies worldwide and been translated into more than 50 languages. In Part 1 of our series, we talked about building systems to create habits, and in this episode, we talk about how and why habits are atomic and how to build a habit or break a habit. We also look at our environments and how we can tweak them to support the habits we want to have, and then dive in and talk about organization habits and how we create habits in teams and in organizations. I took multiple pages of notes on this memorable conversation on forming habits that last.

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This week, Unlocking Us is going to Dare to Lead! Even before James Clear and I met, I knew this would be a two-part series. I just had so many questions for the author of Atomic Habits, which has sold more than 5 million copies worldwide and been translated into more than 50 languages. Not surprisingly, this turned out to be exactly the type of conversation I’d anticipated. In Part 1 of our series, we talk specifically about developing identity-based habits and how we can become the architects of those habits, not the victims of them. We also talk about the intersection of his work and mine, the collective stories we make up, and how our mindsets and our systems can set us up for success. It was so meaningful to finally meet James, to hear his story, and to take in his insights into how he developed such a deep understanding of the importance of consistency over intensity when it comes to forming habits that last.

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We asked for your Atlas of the Heart questions and, man, did you deliver. More than 1,500 questions poured in. So, in this final episode of our Sisters Book Club, Ashley, Barrett, and I answer as many questions as we can, tackling how emotional literacy affects self-awareness, how family patterns affect emotions, and how emotionally intense moments affect our decision-making. We also discuss the powerful connections between art and emotions, as well as how parents can bring this work to their teenagers.

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It’s Part 2 of the three-part Sisters Book Club series, where Ashley and Barrett turn the tables and interview me about Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. We dive into the specific findings on some of the 87 emotions and experiences covered in the book. And they ask me the podcast rapid-fire questions — including my top five songs. Plus, they include some brand-new rapid-fire questions that I didn’t expect.

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In this first episode of a three-part Sisters Book Club series, Ashley and Barrett turn the tables on Brené and interview her about her new book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of the Human Experience. They ask all the questions we want to know, and they pull no punches—starting with stories about childhood superpowers, to matters of biology, biography, behavior, and backstory in the context of emotions and the book itself. They also talk about how Atlas is broken up into three sections, how the data was collected and analyzed to present the 87 emotions covered, and how powerful it is to have vocabulary that's as expansive as our experiences.

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I wanted to share with you a talk that I did at UCLA’s Royce Hall for Oprah’s Super Soul sessions where I uncovered the fundamentals of trust. What is trust? The data says there are seven parts of trust, and we organize these into the acronym BRAVING. Breaking down the anatomy of trust into specific behaviors allows us to more clearly identify and address breaches of trust. I love the BRAVING checklist because it reminds me that trusting myself or other people is a vulnerable and courageous process.

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In this episode, I’m talking with Lukas and Willie Nelson about their new album, The Willie Nelson Family, a collection of country gospel–flavored songs performed by the Nelson Family Band and recorded at Willie’s Pedernales Studios — where we recorded this podcast — just outside Austin. We talk about faith and family, music as church, and love — and how it’s really all tied together. We also talk about what brings us together, what keeps us apart, and what holds us back. We get some Nelson family advice — including their three family rules. And we end the episode with a surprise treat you’ll be singing all week.

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It’s Part 2 of our two-part series with Karen Walrond, writer, activist, and longtime friend. We are talking about her new book, The Lightmaker’s Manifesto: How to Work for Change without Losing Your Joy. In Part 1, we talked about activism and how it shows up in our daily lives. And in this episode, we talk about the connection between activism and spirituality. We talk about listening to the whispers that are calling us and the self-inquiry strategies that help us know what we’re supposed to be doing. We also dig in on performative activism and outrage, as well as the realities of burnout and how joy helps curb some of that. It’s an important conversation — and one we need to be having right now.

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This week, I’m talking to Karen Walrond, writer, activist, and longtime friend of mine about her new book, The Lightmaker’s Manifesto: How to Work for Change without Losing Your Joy. This is the right book for the right time. Activism is such a big and often intimidating concept, and Karen breaks it down into small, intentional, and integrated acts that create a joyful life. We talk about how we met and how we define activism, and we share some really personal experiences we each had after Hurricane Harvey that shaped how we see the intersection of activism and joy. So, enjoy this first of two episodes on life, light, and activism and how those three things are completely interconnected.

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I’m talking with singer-songwriter, activist, and artist Jake Wesley Rogers, whom I discovered on TikTok. It was love at first listen — and I mean, I fell madly, truly, deeply in love with him and his art, as well as how it made me feel, how it made me dance, and how it made me sing. He takes me to church. His songs are relatable and universal, he is pure light and love, and I cannot wait for you to hear this conversation.

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OY! It’s our first LIVE Unlocking Us, recorded at ACL Fest in Austin, Texas. I asked Brett Goldstein — writer, comedian, producer, and Emmy Award–winning actor — to join me onstage for a conversation. We talked about the vulnerability and humanity behind comedy, we talked about the band we’d create, we talked about the Muppets — and we talked about why everyone loves his character Roy Kent and all his friends on the beloved comedy series Ted Lasso. This will definitely not be our last live recording.

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I am back with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, to do a follow-up on the Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection. We received a lot of questions in the comments after the six-episode series, so I’ve pulled my sisters back in to seek some answers. We are also knee-deep in life stuff right now, so we open up about our own struggles with some of the topics in question, including running away, setting and managing boundaries, polling others over listening to ourselves, and living in authenticity. Join us as we seek A’s to all the Q’s from social media.

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I’m talking with first-time authors and longtime podcasters — and even longer-time friends — Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman. We’re talking about their book, Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close, and why the lack of meaningful, intimate, vulnerable friendships is almost a crisis right now. One key learning for me is how many of us believe that friendships should be easy and require little effort, when, in reality, we can’t have any meaningful relationships without putting in meaningful work. And that’s not always easy.

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Sarah Niles plays respected sports psychologist Dr. Sharon Fieldstone on Ted Lasso — and I just want to let you know that we have worked very hard for no show spoilers at all. It’s just a great conversation about where she came from, what she believes in, and the story of how she ended up as this central and pivotal character on one of our favorite shows. This is one of those podcasts where if you’re walking, just take a deep breath. If you’re driving, maybe crack the window. If you’re at home, grab some hot tea or a cup of coffee. To know Sarah is to love her and appreciate her talent, her gifts, and her commitment to truth, love, and kindness.

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I’m talking to Esther Perel, psychotherapist, New York Times bestselling author, and podcaster, about relationships in the pandemic and beyond. She blew my mind around some patterns that Steve and I have discovered over the past months in lockdown. We also talk a lot about paradox and straddling the tension of two competing ideas that can both be true. It’s maddening and inspiring. And you’ll hear in real time how I’m wowed, impressed, and completely Esther Perel-ed before it’s all over.

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I’m talking to my dear friend Tarana Burke about her new memoir, Unbound: My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement. Her book is beautiful, hard, and breathtaking. Tarana is unflinching in her storytelling. As she takes us on the journey that transformed her life and the world, we can feel our own transformation happening. The person who starts this book is not the person who finishes this book.

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It’s the final episode of our six-part Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, and we finish strong with the last of the Guideposts, #9 and #10 (Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To” and Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control”). We talk about how doing meaningful work connects us and how being cool is honestly very lonely. And we finally reach the moment Ashley and Barrett have been waiting for all along — and possibly the only reason they agreed to do this series — they finally get to share their top five songs.

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In this second-to-last episode of the Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection, I have a couple of in-real-time revelations: namely that I suck at cultivating quality rest and play (a.k.a. Guidepost #7). Thankfully, on the flip side, I’ve gotten pretty good over the years at cultivating calm and stillness (thank you, 5-mile-long daily walks) and letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle (Guidepost #8). We dig in and ask the existential question: What does your ideal restful vacation look like?

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This might just be the toughest, most personal episode yet in the Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection. As Ashley, Barrett, and I tackle Guideposts #5 and #6 (Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty and Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison), we reflect on our upbringing, which was marked with uncertainty, unpredictability, and plenty of eggshell living. It’s no surprise then that letting go of certainty is one of my greatest challenges. We talk about that and how we try to show up differently in the families we are raising now.

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We’re at the halfway mark of our six-episode Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection, and this week, we dig into Guideposts #3 and #4 (Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness and Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark). Ashley, Barrett, and I look at our lives post-COVID and talk candidly about the ways we’ve numbed over the past year — and how we’ve lost some of our gratitude practices. These two things may be related. Moving forward, we (re)commit to making wholeheartedness a family affair.

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It’s Part 2 of our six-part Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection, with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett. In this episode, we start with Guidepost #1 (Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What People Think) and move into Guidepost #2 (Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism). Practicing authenticity — and, yes, it is a daily practice — is really connected to boundary work, so we admit the individual fears we each experience when setting boundaries. We also talk about perfectionism as a process addiction and how our imperfections are not inadequacies, but instead, they’re reminders that we’re all in this together.

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Join me and my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, for Part 1 of our six-part Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection. In this episode, we start with the Introduction, go over the 10 Guideposts, and talk about our personal Wholehearted Inventory scores. Surgeon General’s Warning: This is about as real as it gets. Equal amounts laughing, hard conversations, surprising revelations, and cussing. And some singing. But I file that under painful and/or laughing. If this sounds like your kind of conversation, join us for the rest of the series.

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I’m talking to writer, teacher, and scholar Dr. Clint Smith about his new book, How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America. We talk about the history of slavery in this country and how we approach, excavate, recognize, and react to that history — and how we have a responsibility and accountability to get the story and the history right. Because when we can be honest about the history, we can begin to acknowledge it, reckon with it, and heal from it.

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In this episode, I’m talking to writer Ashley C. Ford about her new memoir, Somebody’s Daughter, and how it is written for everyone who walks into a bookstore and feels like they can’t find a book about themselves — and there are a lot of us looking for that. We talk about the writing process, the truth-telling process, and how connecting the two can be liberating not only to us but also to others. Our conversation is not just a story about her life, it is a story about life and what connects us to show us that we are not alone — and that we are braver than we know.

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I talk with Justina Blakeney, designer, artist, and New York Times bestselling author, about how we can create spaces to tell our stories. We talk about how color, pattern, plants, and windy paths can be personalized to help express our individuality and how connecting with both our unique roots and adventures allows us to not only look at objects and space differently but also see ourselves and our worlds in new ways.

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I’m talking to Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry about their new book, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. We define trauma and talk about why big and small traumas activate our stress-response systems and create emotional, physical, and social consequences and how we can find the path to healing.

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This week’s episode features two audio essays from You Are Your Best Thing, an anthology on the Black lived experience of vulnerability and shame resilience, led by my friend Tarana Burke, an organizer, writer, activist, and the founder of the ‘me too.’ Movement. It starts with an introduction from Tarana and me, followed by an essay from Jason Reynolds, award-winning and #1 New York Times bestselling author. All of the essays in the book are urgent, compelling, heartbreaking, and heart-affirming. I’m proud and grateful to share this work with you.

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I have a tough, loving conversation about dementia and Alzheimer’s with Jason Karlawish, physician, researcher, professor, clinician, and author of The Problem of Alzheimer’s: How Science, Culture, and Politics Turned a Rare Disease into a Crisis and What We Can Do About It. This heartbreakingly common diagnosis creates multiple patients — both the diagnosed and the caregivers. We talk about the difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia, how we respond to a disease that diminishes our autonomy, and what we can do to take care of ourselves and each other.

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Get ready for a delicious conversation. I am talking to Samin Nosrat, author, cook, teacher, podcaster, and the force of nature behind the revolutionary cookbook Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and its Netflix documentary. We connect on her work and the struggles and realities of creating connections in a period of great disconnection.

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Brandi Carlile is a singer, songwriter, performer, producer, activist, and author of a new memoir, Broken Horses. We talk about everything from the politics of middle school lunch tables, to the pursuit of complicated faith, to the tyranny of fitted sheets. This is a conversation between two people, meeting for the first time, and yet, somehow, it feels like we’ve been friends forever.

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Hanif Abdurraqib is a beautiful person and an incredible writer, poet, essayist, and cultural critic. His new book, A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance, took my breath away. Hanif’s ability to straddle the tension of grief and gratitude, beauty and horror, mourning and jubilation is where the miracle and the genius happen.

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Unlocking Us is here to Dare to Lead on inclusivity. Aiko Bethea is a friend, colleague, and diversity, equity, and inclusion expert. We discuss empathy, accountability, and the power of listening and believing (including a very real role play). We also dissect the differences between transactional leadership and transformational leadership and why courage is a prerequisite to lasting, meaningful change.

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This week, Unlocking Us is going to Dare to Lead! Olympian, activist, and author Abby Wambach and I connect on the new rules of leadership. Her book, WOLFPACK, I kid you not, is on my top five must-read leadership books. I buy this book for everyone. It’s leadership gold.

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I’m talking to Dr. Angus Fletcher, professor and author of Wonderworks: The 25 Most Powerful Inventions in the History of Literature, about the science behind the great writings of authors across time — from Greek tragedies to Maya Angelou to Tina Fey. We look at how the technology of literature can nurture democracy, power personal growth, and improve our mental health and well-being. Weaving together library and laboratory research, we discuss how literature actually changes who we are, helps us understand who we are, and teaches us how to think.

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In this episode, I talk to Dr. Yaba Blay about her new book, One Drop: Shifting the Lens on Race. It’s an honest and raw conversation about identity, grief, transformation, history, colorism, and taking responsibility for change. I continue to reflect on this quote from Dr. Blay: “Identity is nuanced. It’s complicated. I think it’s hard to define. Sometimes I think it’s dangerous to define, depending upon who’s doing the defining.”

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I’m talking to clinical psychologist and author Dr. Edith Eger about her books, The Choice and The Gift. Dr. Eger is a Holocaust survivor who has dedicated her career to helping us understand trauma, anger, resilience, and the power of choosing how we see ourselves and how we resist the labels that people put on us.

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In this episode, I’m talking with Jennifer Rudolph Walsh and Ashley C. Ford about their work, their lives, and the new anthology Hungry Hearts, a collection of intimate stories and essays on courage, desire, and belonging. I just love talking to the storytellers and magic-makers!

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A conversation with two unforgettable creators: Debbie Millman and Roxane Gay. Debbie is a designer, an author, an educator, and the host of the award-winning podcast Design Matters, and Roxane is a writer, an editor, a cultural critic, and the co-host of the podcast Hear to Slay. Roxane and Debbie are newlyweds, and we talk about their love story, creativity, and the power of a dinner party. Their words and art have been very influential in my life — talking to them about the ins and outs of ordinary life is, in itself, extraordinary.

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Drs. Julie and John Gottman have taken more than 40 years of breakthrough research and written or co-written more than 40 books on marital stability, divorce prediction, and how science can help people have successful, loving relationships. We talk about the toll the pandemic has taken on couples, their work in the context of current events, and practical shifts that can help us take care of each other.

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Emmanuel Acho is a creator, host, and producer of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, a web series about racism to drive open and uncomfortable dialogue. His book with the same name is a thoughtful manifesto, a mandate, and a playbook that’s both generous and full of love. We get personal, and we talk about what these important questions mean in the context of history and for culture today.

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In this episode, I talk with philanthropist and global advocate for women and girls, Melinda French Gates. We talk about empathy, the power of story, and her book, The Moment of Lift — a clear and powerful call to action for gender equity.

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In this “On My Mind” episode, we talk about shame and accountability. We discussed this a bit last summer, but I’m going deeper today in light of the insurrection at the US Capitol and the resulting calls to unity without accountability. Dehumanization is the most significant driver of insurrection, and it always starts with language. We are all responsible for recognizing it, stopping it, and holding people accountable for dehumanizing language and actions.

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It’s a podcasters’ roundtable! Tim Ferriss, Dax Shepard, and I talk about everything from preparing for podcasts, parenting, and Ping-Pong to addiction, trauma, and the long, winding road to healing and wholeness. It’s fun and hard and messy. Everything you’d expect from three people who consider curiosity a way of life.

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I talk with President Barack Obama about his life, his work, and his new book, A Promised Land. We dive into the power of leaning into uncertainty and why the rare skill of holding the tension of opposites makes us better leaders, partners, and parents.

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In this “On My Mind” episode, we revisit FFTs and talk about tired brains and new strategies for recovering from too many hard first times.

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David Eagleman is a neuroscientist, New York Times bestselling author, TED speaker, and Guggenheim Fellow, and in this episode, we talk all about the brain and how it works. It’s mysterious, malleable, constantly changing, and up for new challenges. We dig deeper into the research in his book Livewired: The Inside Story of the Ever-Changing Brain on the power of being uncomfortable and trying new things and how important new experiences are for continued brain development and health.

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Priya Parker is a master facilitator, strategic adviser, and the author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. We dig into what it means to come together, why connection requires intention, and the often-invisible structures inside our most meaningful gatherings. Priya even helps me deconstruct my wedding and why, decades later, people still tell me how different and fun it was!

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This episode is proof that dreams do come true! I get to talk to Dolly Parton about love, empathy, and the power of truth-telling. We talk about everything from her new book, Dolly Parton, Songteller: My Life in Lyrics, and songwriting to the challenges of leading organizations and Burt Reynolds. It’s amazing to me how Dolly’s songwriting and storytelling seem to be driven by a deep calling to turn toward pain and heartbreak so she can shine a light for all of us to find our way.

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I talk with writer, storyteller, and joy advocate Gabby Rivera, the first Latina to write for Marvel Comics. Gabby penned the solo series America about America Chavez, a portal-punching queer Latina powerhouse. We also talk about her debut novel, Juliet Takes a Breath; how important it is to see ourselves in stories about the hero’s journey; and how joy is a form of resistance.

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In this solo episode recorded on Election Day 2020, I talk directly to our wholehearted community about the practice that helps me when I’m feeling fearful, worried, or wobbly and why this work is the foundation for true belonging.

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I speak with Elizabeth Lesser, bestselling author and co-founder of Omega Institute, about her newest book, Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes.

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My thoughts on power and leadership and a conversation on empathy, unity, and courage with Vice President Joe Biden, the 2020 Democratic presidential nominee.

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Burnout. We’re all experiencing it and we’re all desperate for a way through it. In this episode, I talk to Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski about what causes burnout, what it does to our bodies, and how we can move through the emotional exhaustion. This has been a game changer for me and for my family!

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As the self-appointed president of the TLFC (Ted Lasso Fan Club), it was a blast to talk to Jason Sudeikis, the co-creator, writer, and executive producer who plays Ted Lasso, and Brendan Hunt, the co-creator and writer who plays Coach Beard on the Apple TV+ hit series. The show follows the adventures of a small-time college football coach from Kansas hired to coach a professional soccer team in England, despite having no experience coaching soccer. We talk about the show’s interesting origin story, writers’ room inspirations, and why intention is critical to the creative process. It’s a fun conversation about a show that is unapologetically awkward, brave, and kind.

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The Most Reverend Michael Curry is presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, and in this episode, we talk about love. Messy, hard, complicated love. I ask him how we can transcend fear in a scarcity-based culture and what we can learn from those who came before us. We also talk about the church, how to develop beloved community, and the scrappy, gritty work of love that is my definition of faith. Plus, Bishop Curry shares his playlist, with one song that I really didn’t expect.

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In this episode, I share my thoughts on the power of dissent, what happens when we max out our surge capacity during a crisis, and how time spent without purpose can refuel and reconnect us.

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Sonya Renee Taylor and I talk about body shame, radical self-love, and social justice. This conversation was a big unlocking for me — especially when it comes to understanding the connection between how we think about our bodies and oppression.

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Dr. Scott Sonenshein — a researcher and professor — and I talk about the art and science of being scrappy, why outsiders are sometimes better than experts, and why comparison is truly the thief of joy. This book turned things upside down for me — in the best way. I hope the conversation does the same for you.

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So glad to be back! Launching our second season with a conversation on one of my favorite subjects (and least favorite experiences): Day 2! It sounds easy enough, but Day 2 is no joke. It’s the messy middle — the point of no return. Join us as we talk about navigating what’s next and why it’s always best to stumble through the darkness together.

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We received so many thoughtful and tough AMA questions from listeners that it took us two episodes to cover the most popular topics. In Part 2, I unpack one of the most-asked questions: How do parents build shame resilience in our children? I’m also answering another popular question: Are there TV series and/or films that I think do a great job of accurately capturing emotions and the human experience? While there are SO many that do that well, I share a few of my current favorites.

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I said, “Ask Me Anything,” and the Unlocking Us community came through with the tough questions. To be honest, I thought I’d get some easy, fun ones — but no, all deep-end questions. In fact, we received so many thoughtful and tough AMA questions from listeners that it took us two episodes to cover the most popular topics, including “fake news,” disappointment versus self-pity, religion and shame, when something is shame-worthy, and how parents can build shame resilience in children. I also discuss what TV series and films I think do a great job of accurately capturing emotions and the human experience, and I answer my own 10 rapid-fire questions.

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In today’s solo episode, I share my thoughts about why accountability is a prerequisite for change and why we need to get our heads and hearts around the difference between being held accountable for racism and feeling shame and being shamed. I share my personal stories of being held accountable and holding myself accountable, as well as my strategies for pulling my “thinking brain” back online when I’m experiencing the flight and fight energy fueled by shame.

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I’m talking with Judd Apatow, who has directed, produced, and written many of the biggest comedy films and hit TV shows of the past two decades. We look at what’s funny, why it’s funny, and why laughter creates connection. We also uncover that thin line between humor and grief and what it means to tell the stories of our lives in a way that we recognize ourselves and our shared humanity.

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Meet Carrie Rodriguez and Gina Chavez, the musicians who created and perform the music you hear every week on Unlocking Us. Artists and activists, Gina and Carrie integrate stories, culture, and the heart of past generations into their music to create artful and hopeful futures. You can hear it in their music, and you can see it in their lives. I’m so grateful that our weekly Unlocking Us conversations begin and end with their soulful sounds.

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I talk to artist, advocate, executive producer, and all-around amazing woman and friend Laverne Cox about her new, groundbreaking documentary, Disclosure: Trans Lives on Screen; the importance of policy protection for the trans community; and the seismic shifts in the world today. We also discuss the complexities of intersectionality and accountability, the difference between discomfort and safety, and the ultimate power of seeking love and living in the light.

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Austin Channing Brown’s anti-racism work is critical to changing our world, and her ability to talk about what is good and true about love, about our faith, and about loving each other is transformative. She is a writer, a speaker, and a media producer providing inspired leadership on racial justice in America. In this episode, we connect on her book, I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness, and talk about her online television show, The Next Question.

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I’m talking with professor Ibram X. Kendi, New York Times bestselling author of How to Be an Antiracist and the director of the Antiracist Research and Policy Center at American University. We talk about racial disparities, policy, and equality, but we really focus on How to Be an Antiracist, which is a groundbreaking approach to understanding uprooting racism and inequality in our society and in ourselves.

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Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington are true creatives and storytellers, working to make timely art that is honest and vulnerable and truth-telling. Here’s Part 2 of my conversation on Little Fires Everywhere. This episode covers how Reese and Kerry worked with a team of other creatives to bring Celeste’s words to life. We talk about the challenges and responsibilities of creating authentic, living, breathing characters with complex internal thoughts. We talk about motherhood and how it connects us, changes us, and changes as it goes. And we talk about creating art that honors ordinary, complicated people from completely different backgrounds, while connecting us all together.

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My conversation with Celeste Ng is the first of two episodes on Little Fires Everywhere, where I’ll cover the book and the series. We talk about the writing process, the stories that we tell, and the stories that define us. We also cover how our hometowns shape us, how parenting is a shame minefield, and how we all have the power to mourn moments even while we’re in them. Celeste also fills us in on what she thinks about the series and what it felt like watching Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington create a show from her novel. I love this episode as a reader, as a writer, and as an observer of what it means to be human.

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Jay and Mark Duplass are two of my favorite humans. They are filmmakers, writers, directors, producers, actors, and activists. They’re also partners, fathers, and brothers who believe in connection, love, and the importance of small moments. In this episode, we talk about their memoir, Like Brothers, and how so much of what we crave in life comes from straddling the paradoxes inherent in love, creativity, and relationships.

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Dr. Harriet Lerner’s work has transformed my work and my life. She’s a renowned psychologist and bestselling author who has been studying apologies — and why some people won’t give them — for more than two decades. In Part 2 of our two-part series, we share from a course together on her groundbreaking book Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. We dig into the “mischief of defensiveness,” the power of listening, and the secret life of the non-apologizer. We also take on one helluva role play where you get to hear me get schooled and learn a lot and get schooled again.

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This is the first episode of two-part special based on a course that Dr. Harriet Lerner and I did together on her groundbreaking book Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. It’s an authentic, hard conversation about making mistakes, healing hurts, and being brave. Harriet is a friend, mentor, and teacher. Her work has shaped my career and made my life better. During a time of deep uncertainty and anxiety — when many of us have struggled to be our best selves all of the time — apologizing has never been more important.

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In this episode, I talk to two women who provide wise counsel for those of us who have struggled with belonging and faith (and still do on occasion). Sue Monk Kidd and Jen Hatmaker are dissident daughters, brave leaders, and the very best companions for a contemplative journey.

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Have you ever struggled with feeling lonely — even when you’re surrounded by people you love? I have. It’s painful and confusing. In this episode, I talk to Dr. Vivek Murthy, a physician and the 19th surgeon general of the United States, about loneliness and the physical and emotional toll that social disconnection takes on us. We talk about his new book, Together, and what it takes for each of us to tilt the world toward love and connection.

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Dr. Marc Brackett has dedicated his life to studying emotions and to teaching us what he’s learning. In this episode, we talk about how emotional literacy — being able to recognize, name, and understand our feelings — affects everything from learning, decision-making, and creativity to relationships, health, and performance.

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Alicia’s book, More Myself: A Journey, is a master class in authenticity and vulnerability. In this episode, Alicia and I talk about the quiet, subtle experiences that fuel our need to armor up and self-protect and the courage behind owning our worth, listening to our own voice, and living with our own “girl on fire” energy.

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We all have patterned ways of managing our day-to-day anxiety, and these patterns often reflect the roles and expectations of our first families. In this episode, we’ll talk about over- and under-functioning in anxious times, why anxiety is contagious, and how we can cultivate a calm practice.

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Grief expert David Kessler takes us by the hand and walks us into what he’s learned about love, loss, and finding meaning. As someone who has a lot of fear about grief and grieving, this conversation is not what I expected. The only word I can use to describe what I learned from David is beautiful.

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We have collectively hit weary. This is especially true for the brave folks on the front lines of this pandemic and for the people who love and support them. And it’s also true for all of us. In this episode, I talk about strategies for falling apart, staying connected and kind, and giving ourselves permission to feel hard things.

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Strap yourselves in! In this episode, I talk to my dear friend and sister Cheetah, Glennon Doyle — author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Untamed and the founder of Together Rising, an all-women-led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy, raising over $25 million for women, families, and children in crisis. This is an honest conversation about walking away from the lifelong training that keeps us small, quiet, and afraid and embracing our wild, brave hearts.

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Tarana is a good friend and one of my favorite people on earth. She has been working at the intersection of racial justice and gender equity for nearly three decades, and she started the ‘me too.’ Movement in 2006. In 2017, when the #metoo hashtag went viral, Tarana emerged as a global leader in the evolving conversation around sexual violence.

In this episode, we talk about how her theory of “empowerment through empathy” is changing the way the world thinks and talks about sexual violence, consent, and social justice. AND we also talk/cry/laugh about falling in love, running as fast as we can from love, and the perils of sharing a bathroom with the guys we love.

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The first Unlocking Us podcast is here! Along with the excitement of sending this into the world, I’m feeling equal doses of fear, awkwardness, and vulnerability. In this episode, I talk about my strategy for staying in tough first times versus tapping out and shutting down. When we get to the point that we only do things that we’re already good at doing, we stop growing. And truly living.

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