Who We Are & What We Need

Sarah Allison, Tea Chaplain, is my guest today. Sarah is going to be our "internet auntie" for the Empathic Changemakers (formerly Collective Care) community space we are creating. You can join us starting today! 

In this episode we discuss protecting your spirit, healthy boundaries, disability and ableism, social models and medical models of ableism, neurodivergence (autism in particular), disability (fibromyalgia in particular), imposter syndrome around labels, meeting soul and somatic needs, and self-care as a vital part of collective care and vice versa. 

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Collective Care Community Space

Connect with Sarah

• Sarah's links

Connect with Catherine

• Therapy + Coaching

• Learning + Support

• Empathic Changemakers (formerly Collective Care)

• Instagram

• Substack 

Edited by Catherine Quiring

Logo by Catherine Quiring

Welcome to Season 2 of Who We Are & What We Need Podcast!

My guest today is Zachary Helton:

Author | Spiritual Care Provider | Ancient Wisdom for Modern Life |

We discuss:

* how to not confuse the form with the deeper transformational work of spirituality

* how facing his anxiety and doing the deeper work has had profound effects on his well-being

* how exploring and creating stories can be a place of healing and well-being

A quote from Zach's website about who he is and what he does to meet our collective needs: " I work to remind us to listen to our inner-knowing and remember what we really are, because when we do that, love, joy, peace, and justice are natural by-products." (⁠⁠zhelton.com⁠⁠)

You can find Zach at:

IG: @zachary_helton

TikTok: @zhelton2

Facebook: @ZachHelton2

zhelton.com

Edited by: Javon Winston

Cover art: Catherine Quiring

@catherinequiring

catherinequiring.com/podcasts

Today's Guest: Frances Cutshaw

Frances is a DMin student focusing her work on spiritual resilience in the aftermath of shame and creating refuge spaces beyond religious structures.

Frances is particularly and personally interested in the colorful ways women recover from the nonconsensual theologies that have victimized them for centuries across geopolitical landscapes.

Summary:

Frances Cutshaw and Catherine Quiring discuss their personal journeys of self-discovery and overcoming shame in the context of religion and spirituality. They explore the importance of giving oneself permission to experience the full range of human emotions and to move away from shame. They also discuss the role of leadership in creating spaces of acceptance and support, and the need for leaders to have the space to experience their own emotions and ask for what they need. The conversation touches on the work of Brené Brown and the concept of shame versus shalom in religious settings. The conversation explores the themes of shame, healing, and spirituality. Catherine Quiring discusses how shame plays out in the community and how many people come from a fundamentalist Christian background. She emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to be okay with being apart from the institutional church and exploring how Christianity was misrepresented. The conversation also touches on the topics of sovereignty, embodiment, and the wisdom of the body. Catherine shares her work with the Order of Hildegard, a community that supports spiritual leaders and fosters healing and growth.

Takeaways:

Giving oneself permission to experience the full range of human emotions is essential for personal growth and healing.

Leaders need space to experience their own emotions and ask for what they need in order to create supportive and accepting environments.

The work of Brené Brown, particularly her research on shame, can be instrumental in overcoming shame and embracing vulnerability.

Religious institutions can perpetuate shame, and there is a need to deconstruct and move past religious shame to promote healing and acceptance.

The Order of Hildegard, founded by Frances Cutshaw, aims to create a space for individuals to explore their spirituality and overcome shame, emphasizing agency and personal growth. Shame can be a significant issue for individuals who have a problematic relationship with Christianity, and it is important to allow oneself time and permission to explore and heal from this shame.

The journey of healing and spirituality involves moving away from shame and towards a sense of shalom, which includes liberation, non-binary thinking, and finding treasures within Christianity.

Listening to and honoring the wisdom of the body is crucial for healing and discerning what feels safe and authentic.

The Order of Hildegard provides a supportive community for spiritual leaders to explore their beliefs and grow in their understanding of themselves and their spirituality.

Find Frances at:

@cutshawfrances (IG)

@FrancesCutshaw (fb)

@orderofhildegard

[email protected]

https://www.orderofhildegard.org

Show Notes written by AI and Catherine Quiring

Editing and Logo by Catherine Quiring

(I apologize for the rough edit. I'm working on a fix for it!)

@catherinequiring (IG)

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In this conversation, Catherine Quiring and Therapy for Bohemians creator, Maggie Evans, discuss the importance of creating space and finding rest in their lives. They explore the concept of quiet and how it relates to their need for solitude and creativity. They also touch on neurodivergence and how it influences their self-care practices. Maggie shares her experience as a single parent and an entrepreneur, emphasizing the importance of having supportive relationships and connections. They also discuss the role of astrology and nature in finding grounding and hopefulness.

Takeaways:

• Creating space and finding rest are essential for personal well-being and creativity.
• Understanding and honoring one's neurodivergence can lead to a more self-referencing approach to self-care.
• Having supportive relationships and connections is crucial for single parents and entrepreneurs.
• Astrology and nature can provide grounding and hopefulness in challenging times.

Resources:

Returning Home to Our Bodies by Abigail Rose Clarke

The Pattern (astrology app)

Chani Nicholas

Jenara Nerenberg: Divergent Mind

Elaine Aron: The Highly-Sensitive Person (caveat: Elaine Aron has some helpful things to say here, but some of her comments have been called out as disrespectful to the neurodiverse community)

"The Neurodivergent Princess and the Pea"

Connect with Maggie:

www.therapyforbohemians.com

@therapyforbohemians

(Summary created by AI and Catherine Quiring)

Editing and Logo by Catherine Quiring

(I apologize for the rough edit. I'm working on a fix for it!)

catherinequiring.com, cqcounseling.com

@catherinequiring (IG)

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In this conversation, Catherine Quiring interviews Emy Tafelski, a licensed therapist turned transformational coach, about the importance of authenticity and worthiness. They discuss the societal factors that impact women's sense of worthiness, including family messaging, patriarchy, and trauma. Emy shares her own healing journey and how it led her to guide others in breaking free from societal expectations and embracing their authentic selves. They also explore grieving, restoring self-worth, and reclaiming lost parts of the soul as a part of transformative growth. Emy's work is focused on helping individuals heal and find wholeness through soul weaving.

Emy is running her Rebel Roots program again, so save your spot now! The start date is July 17. Learn more and sign up here: https://www.emytafelski.com/rebel-roots

Sound Bites

• "All of my work leads back to the foundational piece of intrinsic worthiness."
• “So for me, trauma is a soul wound. And if you're not addressing that aspect of it, you're missing a big piece of the available healing.” (You can read more about healing soul wounds in Eduardo Duran’s work. This is an integral part of an indigenous healing framework.)

• "This work is guiding people home to their souls so that they can have greater wholeness and authenticity."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

03:17 The Importance of Worthiness

13:03 Trauma as a Soul Wound

28:02 Authenticity and Creating Change

40:01 Personal Healing Journeys

Connect with Emy Tafelski:

emytafelski.com

@emytafelski

Sign up for Emy's email list and The Soulful Spark Challenge: https://emytafelski.ck.page/spark

(Summary created by AI and Catherine Quiring)

Editing and Logo by Catherine Quiring

(I apologize for the rough edit. I'm working on a fix for it!)

catherinequiring.com, cqcounseling.com

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catherinequiring.substack.com

In this episode of 'Who We Are and What We Need,' host Catherine Quiring, a licensed mental health counselor, continues her insightful conversation with guest Katie Couvillon, a licensed mental health counselor and board certified coach. They delve into understanding emotions, particularly anger, through the lens of Jungian analysis. The discussion emphasizes integrating one's shadow side, maintaining dignity and connection in relationships, and the balance between individual autonomy and collective care. They also explore the suppression of feminine energy, societal impact on gender roles, and the need for a rise of feminine qualities. Throughout, the conversation advocates for self-trust, emotional intelligence, and creating space for all parts of oneself to facilitate personal and collective healing.  Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast  01:00 Continuing the Conversation with Katie Couvillon  02:51 Understanding Yin and Yang  03:42 Boundaries and Connection  04:59 Reclaiming Feminine Energy  05:24 The Witch Archetype and Spirituality  07:46 Jungian Psychology and Shadow Work  10:13 The Role of Anger in Healing  27:47 Practical Steps for Embracing Anger  31:53 Navigating Deep Work and Friendships  32:22 The Importance of Uncomfortable Conversations  33:01 Managing Anger and Resentment  35:45 Reclaiming the Feminine and Inner Life  36:27 Embracing Full Self-Expression  43:52 Navigating Global and Personal Pain  49:46 The Role of Spirituality and Self-Care  56:28 Therapy, Coaching, and Self-Trust  01:01:02 Conclusion and Contact Information  You can find Katie Couvillon at: ⁠www.journeysober.com⁠ and ⁠www.thejourneyinward.coach⁠ Show Notes by AI and Catherine Quiring Editing by: Somnath Basumatary Logo by: Catherine Quiring @catherinequiring (IG)

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Join host Catherine Quiring, a licensed mental health counselor, and her guest Katie Couvillon, a licensed mental health counselor and board-certified coach, as they delve into the importance of honoring personal needs and fostering a needs-based society. The discussion explores self-trust, spiritual awareness, and the complex dynamics of addiction and recovery. They touch on inner healing, the significance of feminine energy, and the societal suppression of emotions like anger and rage. The conversation advocates for a balanced, collaborative approach to collective healing, stressing the reclamation of individual and communal dignity.

Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast  01:08 Meet Katie Couvillon  02:14 Katie's Coaching Services  03:24 Exploring Sobriety and Recovery  06:45 Understanding Addictive Behaviors  09:36 Navigating Personal Needs and Self-Soothing  10:53 Facing Societal Expectations and Personal Advocacy  19:26 Feminine Rage and Societal Norms  25:14 The Importance of Anger and Grief  28:34 Exploring Inner Life and Agency  30:04 Activism and External Locus of Control  32:31 Materialism and Human Nature  34:35 Masculine and Feminine Energies  38:27 Social Hierarchies and Dignity  39:36 Neurodivergence and Social Norms  50:25 Healing and Integration  52:38 Conclusion and Reflection  You can find Katie at:

@thejourney_inward

www.journeysober.com

www.thejourneyinward.coach

Show Notes by AI and Catherine Quiring Editing by: Somnath Basumatary Logo by: Catherine Quiring @catherinequiring (IG)

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In this episode of 'Who We Are and What We Need,' licensed mental health counselor Catherine Quiring hosts an insightful conversation about human nature, relationships, and meeting needs. Joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Paige Bond, who specializes in helping people-pleasers navigate non-momogamy. They discuss a range of topics including differentiation, emotional safety, polyamory, and the importance of understanding and expressing personal needs within relationships. They delve into the complexities of human connections, emphasizing the need for emotional corrective experiences, vulnerability, and creating a secure partnership. Throughout the discussion, they highlight practical strategies for nurturing relationships and navigating challenges, making it an enlightening listen for anyone interested in deepening their understanding of love and connection. 

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 

00:54 Meet Paige Bond 

01:58 Paige's Journey with Relationships 

04:01 Understanding Love and Relationships 

11:41 The Concept of Differentiation 

16:20 Challenges in Relationships 

24:40 Polyamory and Relationship Dynamics 

28:52 Challenges in Monogamous Relationships 

29:27 The Benefits of Non-Monogamy 

30:17 Historical Context of Non-Monogamy 

30:52 Patriarchy and Relationship Structures 

34:11 Personal Experiences with Non-Monogamy 

37:22 Exploring Sexuality and Identity 

39:03 The Importance of Communication and Boundaries 

49:17 Navigating Family Dynamics in Non-Monogamy 

54:00 Final Thoughts and Resources 

You can find Paige Bond at: ⁠www.paigebond.com

And her podcast Stubborn love here: www.paigebond.com/stubbornlovepodcast

My guest episodes on Stubborn Love are published 6/2023:

www.paigebond.com/stubbornlovepodcast/embrace-desires-rekindle-relationships and 1/2023: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2J7O5pqPcAJ5SqSNKu4hc4

Show Notes by AI and Catherine Quiring

Editing by: Somnath Basumatary

Logo by: Catherine Quiring

@catherinequiring (IG)

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Today's guest, Atiq Shomar, LCSW (they/them) is an antiracist, feminist therapist who identifies as part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Atiq and Catherine met in Maegan Megginson's business coaching group. I also participated in Atiq's anti-oppressive therapist course. It led to such a deeper, and more comprehensive, understanding of systemic oppression for me, and I value Atiq's insights so much. Such as their gentle reminder at the beginning of the episode to introduce them (and others) using their pronouns.

In this podcast episode, Atiq shares their insights into who we are and what we need. We discuss the essentials of fostering self-trust, understanding human nature, and the importance of historical context in therapy. The conversation highlights the impact of hierarchical systems, the role of social media in connection, the complexities of family dynamics, and the necessity of connection in overcoming isolation. Catherine and Atiq also touch on decolonizing therapy and the challenges of practicing within current systems, including mental health, concluding with recommendations for transformative readings.

Decolonizing Therapy by Jennifer Mullan

Decolonizing Trauma Work by Renee Linklater

My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem

You can find out more about Atiq Shomar and their work here: https://www.liberationcounseling.com/atiq-shomar.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

00:55 Guest Introduction: Atiq Shomar

01:26 Discussing Anti-Oppression and Historical Frameworks

03:25 The Importance of Land Acknowledgment

05:23 Connection and Disconnection in Modern Society

13:24 Therapeutic Approaches and Listening Differently

25:51 Challenges in Therapy and Cultural Considerations

29:25 Closing Thoughts and Future Discussions

Show Notes by AI and Catherine Quiring

Editing by: Somnath Basumatary

Logo by: Catherine Quiring

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Andrew Lang and I discuss spiritual practices that bring self-knowing, build on self-trust, and lead to connection and embodiment.

Some of the related topics we cover include:

• alexithymia
• interoception
• neurodivergence
• paradigms of our society forming a constricting box:
• dualism
• neopatriarchy
• white supremacy
• capitalism
• demands that we fit in certain ways - mechanisms to shut us down, tame us, quiet us, shame us, marginalize us
• C-PTSD from societal norms and restrictions, conditioned reactions, survival responses
• problem > solution > sales funnel to tell more people
• spirituality as deep connection > god language fell away
• re-humanizing
• anger in pursuit of justice being responded to with anger in pursuit of control and order, and becomes a cycle
• discernment -what is our move to make? just like we have different gifts, we may have different responses to the fight-and-annihilate energy so present in our world and news cycles
• posture of sit up, lean in
• capacity for discomfort
• building capacity
• coming alive
• I can handle it - I’m not alone, I can trust myself, I have agency and a voice, it’s a challenge, it's not insurmountable, cycle of harm and repair, tolerance of others’ emotional responses to us
• the right-sizing practice
• keep us connected to safety, belonging, dignity; also: self, others, land, history, community

culture around sexual assault - how do we approach that?

• one way is through inner work with men to address these types of questions and constraints...

• a vision for my life that didn’t work out
• what do I do? can’t cry, can’t express anger
• grief around a dream that didn’t happen
• I don’t know what to do with this feeling of pent-up energy
• don’t know who to talk to
• Cole Arthur Riley - can’t live on self-care and self-love alone - who will hold you?
• response to feminine movement  - how do we hold our identities lightly?
• work and identity

Carl Jung and Shadow work in spiritual practices:

• look for where the defensiveness is - you’ve hit a shadow
• what’s becoming possible
• another shadow/fear - disorder
• success, comfort, identity, security
• how do we build consent and autonomy?

You can learn more about Andrew and connect with him at andrewglang.com

Show Notes by Catherine Quiring

Editing by: Somnath Basumatary

Logo by: Catherine Quiring

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I want you to know that self-trust is possible. That knowing your inherent worth is possible. That self-love and enjoying your own company is possible. You can recover from people-pleasing. You can enjoy a life of self-trust.

I appreciate my friend Rosie sharing her story of developing self-trust and self-acceptance in this episode. I hope it inspires you and brings you hope.

Show Notes by Catherine Quiring

Editing by: Somnath Basumatary

Logo by: Catherine Quiring

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Living by what supports inner and collective care, rather than external demands and expectations. Creating communities, societies, and systems that honor needs and create well-being.

Toward Psychologies of Liberation by Mary Watkins & Helene Shulman

Healing beliefs about ourselves a la EMDR

⁠Blackfoot Siksika Care-based society⁠

Your Body is a Revolution by Tara Teng

Lost childhood messages - from Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Ruso & Ross Hudson

Show Notes by Catherine Quiring

Editing by: Somnath Basumatary

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Oh, the audacity to be well rested, to rest without guilt! We get to reclaim rest as a part of listening to ourselves, living an embodied existence (rather than from our heads), caring for our needs (rather than bypassing or talking ourselves out of them), and resisting capitalism's attempt to use us up and burn us out.

Check out Tricia Hersey's Nap Ministry and her book Rest is Resistance.

The Order-Disorder-Reorder framework is found in Richard Rohr's book The Wisdom Pattern.

Explore types of rest you can reclaim: "How to Get the Rest You Desperately Need" by Catherine Quiring

Get update of new episodes and share your thoughts!

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Show Notes by Catherine Quiring

Editing by: Somnath Basumatary

Logo by: Catherine Quiring

Come explore with me - who we are, and what we need to thrive. When we approach the inner physics of human nature with curiosity and compassion, we find it. We will explore what a needs-based (rather than authority-based) life and society could look like perspectives, voices, and ways of knowing that have been left out for too long. Join me to collectively challenge worldviews and systems that feed off of, and perpetuate, trauma.

Some episodes I will be flying solo, and other episodes, I will be hosting guests. I will be drawing from such frameworks as Internal Family Systems & Liberation Psychology, as well as the frameworks and viewpoints guests bring in to share with us.

Get update of new episodes and share your thoughts: ⁠Substack⁠, ⁠@catherinequiring⁠ & ⁠@who_we_are_pod⁠

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Editing by Somnath Basumatary