Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the making of Disney-Pixar's "Inside Out 2" with special guest, Dr. Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychologist renowned for his research on emotions. The discussion begins with Lisa explaining her role in the film, highlighting how Riley, now 13, navigates the new emotions of adolescence. Dr. Keltner shares insights on selecting the original five emotions and introduces the sequel's new characters: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui. Dr. Lisa draws on her expertise in adolescent anxiety to discuss how the character of Anxiety is portrayed in the film. Dr. Keltner delves into the significance of awe and his research findings in this area. The episode concludes with an exploration of the emotional complexities of adolescence and the cultural impact of "Inside Out 2," offering important takeaways for both parents and teens. This is the Ask Lisa podcast movie of the summer - you'll want to share it with the whole family!

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How can families make the most of their summer? Dr. Lisa says it’s all about the S.U.N.: "S" for sleep, "U" for unplugging, and “N" for nature. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore why it's essential to find time during the summer months to rest, disconnect, and spend time outdoors. They offer practical tips for family digital detoxes. Their conversation unpacks the research on the psychological benefits of being around nature and how summer offers the perfect opportunity to embrace it all. Dr. Lisa also explains the importance of scheduling, planning, and maintaining routines to help carry these habits into the fall.

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When should you consider limiting your child's use of TikTok? A parent seeks advice on managing a tween’s use of the popular social media platform. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the appeal of TikTok and address the concerns that many parents have. Reena asks several key questions including: What are the downsides of consuming short-form video content, much of which seems to be mindless? How and when should parents set boundaries around TikTok use? And if parents are really worried about their kid’s social media use, what’s the best approach? Tune in for realistic guidance on the complexity of parenting in the digital age.

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How do parents balance their wish to know about their kids’ lives with their teens’ right to privacy? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through the tension of respecting teens’ autonomy while staying informed as parents, particularly in the context of teenagers keeping personal journals. A letter from a thoughtful mother of four teenagers raises important questions about navigating boundaries and fostering open communication. Dr. Lisa explores the ethical implications of secretly reading a teen’s journal and highlights the importance of also preserving trust.. She provides insights into why teenagers may close themselves off from their parents and offers alternative strategies for maintaining connection and support. Reena asks what the research says about the costs and benefits of snooping in order to learn more about our kids. 

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the complexities of dealing with an angry and disrespectful son. In response to a letter from a concerned parent, they address how to navigate power struggles and they detail effective strategies for managing disruptive behavior. Dr. Lisa explores the underlying dynamics at play and offers insights as to why the son may be acting out. She discusses the potential pitfalls of punishment and explores alternative approaches to discipline that prioritize repair, connection, and communication. Reena asks if punishments really work. The episode offers practical advice for fostering positive parent-child relationships, even in the context of challenging behavior.

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Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the challenge of making a big move with kids. A parent writes in with concerns about her kids' reactions to the news of the move and asks how to best support them through the transition. Dr. Lisa provides insights on how parents can prepare kids for moving and offers age-specific strategies for helping children cope. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the importance of validating emotions, maintaining predictability, and involving children - when possible - in decision-making. Dr. Lisa also addresses common misconceptions about the implications of moving at a young age and explores the benefits of parents sharing their own feelings about the transition. Tune in for practical tips and guidance on navigating family transitions with empathy and resilience.

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Sleep is essential for mental and physical health, but most teens don’t get nearly enough of it. Special Guest Lisa L. Lewis, journalist and author of "The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive," joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to answer listener questions about teens and sleep, tech use, summer bedtimes, school start times and more. Their conversation unpacks the results of the Stanford Sleep Study, and Reena finds out how Lisa L. Lewis helped change school start times in California. Tune in for expert advice and practical tips to ensure that our teens get the rest they need.

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How can adults steer teens away from marijuana in states where the drug is now legal? A parent writes in asking for guidance on raising teens in a community where pot use is wide-spread and normalized. To complicate matters, the parent uses recreational cannabis at home but worries, appropriately, about how early experimentation with the drug could compromise her teens’ safety and well-being. Dr. Lisa and Reena address several crucial questions: What are the risks associated with adolescent marijuana use? How do adults have effective conversations with teens about the potential harms of using pot? And how do we help our teens make good choices now that we are raising them in a cannabis-friendly world?

Listen to Reena's interview with Education Secretary Miguel Cardona on FAFSA:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnobVC432HE

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How do you respond when your child is being bullied? A concerned parent writes in about her 12-year-old daughter who is being taunted by three older boys on the school bus. Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics of bullying and answers several key questions: What’s the difference between conflict and bullying? Why do kids bully? What is the impact of being bullied? How and when should adults step in? The conversation addresses the step-by-step process adults should consider when addressing bullying in order to not make the situation worse. Reena asks what adults can do to support children who are being mistreated by their peers and what really works to prevent bullying.

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A parent writes in about her 17-year-old son who is reeling from a tough breakup with his long-time girlfriend. As the teen faces the transition to college and grapples with intense sadness his parents have several questions: Should they be concerned about his reaction? How can they support him, especially when he shuts them out? And must high school sweethearts part ways before college? Dr. Lisa describes the many ways that adults can help teens cope with heartbreak including offering empathy, providing comfort, helping the teen establish healthy boundaries with the ex, and more. Reena asks if there’s any way to prevent heartbreak in teens and the conversation covers how best to help young people navigate the loss of their first love.

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Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent who feels uneasy about her ten-year-old’s sudden interest in expensive skin care products. The parent finds herself stuck between two bad options: buying her daughter products that are costly and unnecessary, or being at odds with her daughter because she refuses to do so. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the many forces that come together - some new, some age-old - to drive the current trend of tweens and teens taking an interest in high-end skin care routines. Their conversation addresses how kids’ interest in luxury skin care can open up critical conversations about peer pressure, social media marketing, and unrealistic beauty standards.

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It’s not always comfortable to talk with our kids about pornography - but it’s something all parents need to do. Indeed, research shows that 12 is the average age at which kids first encounter pornography, and that by age 18, 79% of teens have been exposed to violent porn. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how it is that so many kids end up seeing pornography and the harms associated with viewing it. They also provide clear, actionable guidance on raising this delicate subject with kids and what to say once the conversation gets going. Before the episode ends, Reena gets practical tips from Dr. Lisa on making these discussions less uncomfortable for both parents and their children.

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Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe? In this critically important episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena are joined by Ed Ternan and Marcia Lee Taylor of Song for Charlie, a national non-profit dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of fentanyl. Ed, who tragically lost his 22 year-old son to a counterfeit prescription pill, and Marcia, former President and CEO of the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, cover the basics about fentanyl and offer concrete guidance on how to have effective conversations with teens about its dangers.

Be sure to check out The New Drug Talk resources available at their website: www.songforcharlie.org

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A concerned parent seeks Dr. Lisa's guidance on building and maintaining a connection with her teenage son. Despite efforts to spend quality time together, most family activities are met with resistance. The parent wonders if it’s normal for her 15-year-old son and, more recently, her 11-year-old daughter, to hold their parents at a distance. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the challenges of enforcing family time and suggest alternative approaches that can work. The episode answers several key questions, including: Is having dinner together sufficient to strengthen family bonds? How do parents foster connection during the turbulent teen years? And when it is time to worry about a teen’s reluctance to spend time with the family?

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A devoted parent seeks advice on whether her 15-year-old daughter should be on birth control. Despite having open discussions about many topics, the daughter - who is in a long-term and intense heterosexual relationship - refuses to discuss contraception. Dr. Lisa weighs in on how to talk with teens about readiness for physical intimacy, and how to get teens to be open to awkward, (but necessary) conversations about their developing love lives. Reena asks if fifteen is too young to be having sex and how else parents might broach the subject of safe sex with teens.

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When should parents be concerned about a teen who resists making social plans and chooses to hang out at home instead? A parent writes asking if she should be worried about her introverted son. He excels academically, has a job, and exercises regularly, But he chooses to spend weekends at home playing on his phone or working on his computer. While he has friends, he rarely initiates plans with them and makes up excuses for not joining their activities. As the end of high school approaches, his mother worries about his ability to connect with peers when he gets to college. Dr. Lisa walks us through the complexities of introversion and extroversion and explains how loving adults can best support teens who enjoy spending a lot of time alone.

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Can we boost our sense of happiness and overall well-being? Why do some individuals not only survive - but thrive - in the face of life's challenges? Dr. Sue Varma, a psychiatrist and cognitive behavioral therapist joins us on the publication day of her new book, Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being to answer these questions and more. The conversation explores Dr. Varma's 4 Ms of mental health - mood, mastery, meaning, and mindset - and addresses what Dr. Varma learned from 9/11 survivors about how to be resilient, even in the wake of trauma. Before the episode ends, Dr. Varma details the daily habits that lead to lasting, positive change in our sense of well-being.

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There’s a growing concern shared by many adults: How do we help teenagers make sense of mental health misinformation on social media? Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent worried that content on TikTok has led her teenage daughter to diagnose herself with OCD and ADHD. This episode explores the potential benefits and risks of learning about mental health through social media, how self-diagnosing can - at times - be harmful to teens, and how talking in diagnostic terms plays out in peer interactions. Dr. Lisa explains what adults can do to have productive conversations with kids about the psychological information they find online.

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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An incredibly thoughtful question from a 14-year-old in the United Kingdom helps us look at the complexities of teen friendships. The letter writer asks about the challenge of wanting to distance from a friend without being unkind. Should teenagers be encouraged to have candid conversations with friends about their feelings, or is there a more nuanced approach that minimizes hurt feelings? How do we teach kids to be compassionate while establishing personal boundaries? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the balance between directness and sensitivity, how to accomplish a “polite distance,” and how adults sometimes contribute, unwittingly, to painful social dynamics.

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A mom writes in concerned about the fact that her 13-year-old son has developed an interest in bulking up. Though he's an active kid, he sees himself as "scrawny" and has decided to hit the weight room hard. When does a healthy interest in getting fit and building strength verge into unhealthy territory? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer this question and more as they dive into the research on boys and body obsession, consider differences among racial and ethnic groups, and detail the worst-case scenario. Most important, this episode covers what parents and caregivers should do when worried about their kids’ obsession with body image and fitness.

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Special guest Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist and podcast host, discusses her new book, "The Five Principles of Parenting," with Dr. Lisa and Reena. Dr. Pressman introduces five key components of helping children thrive: Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair. While there is no such thing as a perfect approach to parenting, Dr. Pressman explains why giving thought to one’s personal values can help you and your kids navigate difficult moments. This episode also addresses how adults can help kids regulate their emotions, build independence, and become good humans.

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It’s never easy to decide to end a marriage. Parents want to protect their kids as the divorce process unfolds and want to help them navigate changing family dynamics. Dr. Lisa discusses how kids process divorce at different ages and the importance of helping your children feel secure and loved while shielding them from conflict. Dr. Lisa and Reena also address how to help kids understand that the break up was not their fault. 

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Parents often find themselves caught between frightening headlines about the dangers of social media and kids who want access to it. Dr. Lisa and Reena address a letter from a parent of three - ages 9, 12, and 14 - asking for guidance. Drawing on research findings and clinical experience, this episode covers when to consider allowing social media, sensible rules for responsible use, the role of gender, and how to minimize social media’s downsides. Dr. Lisa and Reena offer insights, tips, and practical strategies for parents who are navigating the challenging waters of social media. Tune in for realistic and informed advice on safeguarding your child's digital well-being.

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Happy New Year! As we turn to making New Year’s resolutions, Dr. Lisa would like us to approach 2024 in a fresh way: instead of trying to “optimize” ourselves by making the most of every minute, she suggests that we focus on restoration. Why? Because the inevitable stress of daily life can actually help us grow if we get serious about how we recover. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into why we need to prioritize restoration, how restoration differs from coping, and why guilt-soaked restoration doesn’t work at all.

Tune in for actionable insights and research-based guidance on how you and your family can prevent burnout and thrive in 2024!

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Why are tweens and teens sometimes so cruel to their younger siblings? This is a common dynamic in family life, and one that can get worse over the holidays when siblings spend a lot of time together. Dr. Lisa takes us inside the adolescent brain and explains how the onset of puberty can make it hard for kids to control their emotions. She and Reena also address the place of gendered dynamics in sibling interactions, how not to shame kids when they’ve crossed a line, and what parents can do during or after a big blowout to prevent lasting harm. 

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What can parents try when we can’t get our kids to do what we ask? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack how to motivate kids without nagging or yelling and discuss when bribery might be an effective strategy to consider. Their conversation also answers several key questions: How do you respond to a kid who reflexively says “no” to everything you suggest? Is it okay to bribe kids to improve their grades? What other incentives really work and when should they be used? 

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When a teen tells us about a peer’s risky behavior, what’s the right thing to do? Should we keep our teen’s confidence, or should we alert the parents of the kid we are worried about? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle a letter from a parent who has built a strong sense of trust with her teens and often hears about dangerous behavior - including substance use and worrisome sexual activity - happening in their peer group. Dr. Lisa offers her practical parenting wisdom on when it makes sense to just listen, when it’s time to act, and how to move forward without breaking trust with one’s own teen or making the situation worse.

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Getting a lot of attention from girls might not seem like a problem. But a mother writes in asking Dr. Lisa for advice on how to deal with the fact that girls are fawning over her son who wants no part of it. He feels embarrassed by the attention and finds that ignoring it only seems to be making the situation worse. The boy’s father worries that his son might develop a reputation for being the “mean kid” for not acknowledging or responding to the girls’ incessant overtures. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss what the boy should do, consider how to define and handle harassment, and address whether the situation would be different if the gender roles were reversed. The episode highlights several conversations that all parents should be having with their teens sooner rather than later.

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Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the nuances of ADHD: what to look for, when to be concerned, and the overlap between ADHD and executive functioning challenges. Dr. Lisa unpacks how, ideally, an ADHD diagnosis is made and the treatment options for kids and teenagers who receive the diagnosis. The conversation also answers some key questions about when medication should be considered, whether taking medication for ADHD increases the risks of misusing substances, and whether a medication trial can be used to confirm an ADHD diagnosis.

The American Academy of Pediatrics: ADHD

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Sports is not just about the final score. It’s an opportunity for kids to grow, to learn how to improve their skills, and to be a good teammate. But athletics today can be incredibly competitive, aggressive, and emotionally intense. Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool when things don’t go their way and explains how to help kids manage their reactions when they make mistakes. Reena asks about how far you should push a kid who wants to quit a sport they’re good at and if we should encourage kids to stick with sports that don’t come naturally.

Book recommendation:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, PhD

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers.

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Special guest professor Dr. Traci Baxley joins the Ask Lisa podcast. She is the author of Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-racist, Justice-minded Kids in an Unjust World. Dr. Baxley talks with Dr. Lisa and Reena about why it matters to raise caring, socially conscious kids - and how to do so. This episode unpacks the difference between compassion, empathy, and kindness and tackles questions from listeners including: How do you get siblings to be compassionate with each other? And are compassionate kids really better off in today’s hyper-competitive world?

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers.

Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast

Join us NOVEMBER 6th for our very first Ask Lisa Podcast live event - get your tickets here: stagepilot.com/asklisa 

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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A parent writes in about a middle schooler's intense emotional swings which leave the parent feeling uncertain about how to respond. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the psychology of these rollercoaster emotions, discuss whether this behavior is typical at this age, and address how parents can strike the delicate balance of offering support without amplifying the mood swings. Dr. Lisa also explains how parents and caregivers can know when they are looking at typical emotional growing pains and when it’s time to be concerned.

Join us for our first Ask Lisa LIVE streaming event. Nov 6th, Monday, 8pm est

Buy tickets at: https://stagepilot.com/asklisa

Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes. 

https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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A mother writes in asking how to protect her teen from a controlling and degrading relationship. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the nature of unhealthy relationships and how and when adults should intervene. Reena asks how parents can recognize the early signs of a harmful connection. Lisa explains how thoughtful people can find themselves in bad relationships and why the stakes can be incredibly high for a teen's well-being.

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Guide  

The National Domestic Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE

SMS: Text START to 88788

Www.Joinonelove.org

Join us for our first Ask Lisa LIVE streaming event. Nov 6th, Monday, 8pm est

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So what’s really happening when kids go through puberty? Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett join the Ask Lisa podcast to talk about their new book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained. The conversation takes a deep dive into the research on puberty and tackles key questions: When does puberty start and end? Why do kids suddenly smell bad, and how do we help? What’s the best way to respond to teens’ surging hormones? How do we support late bloomers? And more!

Lisa’s Book Recommendation:

This is So Awkward

By Cara Natterson, MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett

https://www.amazon.com/This-So-Awkward-Puberty-Explained/dp/0593580958

Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast

Join us NOVEMBER 6th for our very first Ask Lisa Podcast live event - get your tickets here: stagepilot.com/asklisa 

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

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Parents who need to be out of town for the weekend worry their 16-year-old son will throw a party while they’re away. They want to trust him but can’t shake the feeling that something is brewing. What should parents know about leaving teens home alone? And when should they worry? Dr. Lisa explains the potential consequences of allowing teens to host parties. Reena asks if it’s safer to have teens drinking at your home when adults are present. Their conversation also considers what parents might do if they know their teen is headed to a party where drinking - with or without adult supervision - might happen. 

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Join us NOVEMBER 6th for our very first Ask Lisa Podcast live event - get your tickets here: stagepilot.com/asklisa 

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle two letters about the challenges of parenting teens with chronic health conditions. The first letter centers on addressing a teen’s sense of feeling “different” and asks what parents can do to prevent social isolation. The second letter asks how parents and caregivers can stay out of a power struggle with a teen who may not be following doctor’s orders. Dr. Lisa and Reena answer both questions and, in doing so, offer guidance that will resonate with any parent sharing similar concerns. 

Lisa’s Book Recommendation: The Science of Making Friends by Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson

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Join us NOVEMBER 6th for our very first Ask Lisa Podcast live event - get your tickets here: stagepilot.com/asklisa 

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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A parent feels uncomfortable when her preteen daughter wears crop tops. She worries about the attention her daughter might receive, but also wonders if she's the one who's out of touch. Dr. Lisa and Reena address the complexities of setting boundaries around what kids wear and how to balance policing attire with allowing kids to express their own style. Reena asks what parents should do if they suspect that a child sneaks prohibited clothing to wear when they're out - and if clothing choices are really a big deal in the grand scheme of parenting.

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Join us NOVEMBER 6th for our very first Ask Lisa Podcast live event - get your tickets here: stagepilot.com/asklisa 

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to depression. In an episode packed with practical strategies and sample language, Dr. Lisa and Reena address how to help kids take a balanced approach to their work.

Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast

Join us NOVEMBER 6th for our very first Ask Lisa Podcast live event - get your tickets here: stagepilot.com/asklisa 

And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan.

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to guide teenagers toward acting with empathy and respect.

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Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy visits the Ask Lisa Podcast to talk about the public health crisis you might not know about: loneliness. He joins co-hosts Dr. Lisa and Reena for a wide-ranging conversation on parenting, being a Dad, access to mental health services, the harms of social media, and what big tech companies can do to help protect our kids online. The episode ends with Dr. Murthy asking Dr. Lisa a thought-provoking question about what parents need now.

Surgeon General Advisory on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation

Surgeon General Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health

House Calls with Dr. Vivek Murthy Podcast 

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Season four of the Ask Lisa podcast kicks off with a special guest, author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind culture. They unpack research from Harvard and the London School of Economics to answer key questions: What do the kids who are thriving in high pressure situations do differently? What can adults do to shield kids from toxic stress? How do parents put pressure on kids without even realizing it? Tune in to learn about the "puppy dog principle," why mattering is what really matters, and the one thing that parents can do that makes a difference. 

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Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Getting kids ready for the new school year can be a hard transition from summer. In this encore episode we look at helping teens manage their responsibilities during and after high school. Staying organized isn’t just about getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what drives procrastination in kids, how adults can provide executive functioning "training wheels," and how to get kids to do things like homework without having to nag constantly. The conversation also considers when parents should offer lots of support, and when kids should be allowed to feel the consequences of being disorganized.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Why do kids suddenly turn on friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often in recent months as kids need shared interests to hold their groups together, and that "social glue" was depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how this negative behavior can emerge in friend groups and quickly become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids should do when classmates are nice to them one-on-one but won't include them in groups at school.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

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It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep teens safe? Reena asks about the downsides of tracking a teen’s location and Dr. Lisa lays out the tricky scenarios she's encountered in her practice. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

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What are the signs of a gaming addiction? It’s easy in the summer to have lax rules and allow more gaming and screen time. But when does gaming cross the line into being too much? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When is it time to worry that a kid is spending too much time gaming? And what should parents do? 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Three time Olympian and Mom of three, Lauren Regula explains how we can all better manage the stresses of school sports. What do you really need to know when raising an athlete. I was surprised by the one question she asks her kids every night at the dinner table. We’ve started asking the same question in our home. We hope you’ll enjoy this encore presentation. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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How can we help our kids understand justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his children’s book, Justice Is… A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. Who are the history makers our children should know about? Dr. Lisa and Reena feel that there’s no better guest than Preet for this 4th of July encore episode. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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What’s the right age to give a kid a smartphone? There’s no simple answer to this question, but guidelines we can bear in mind when kids - at increasingly young ages - ask for one. In this encore episode Dr. Lisa explains what to consider, and the conversations to have before and after you give your child a phone.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Schools out! Now what? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a look back at the highlights of Season Three - from key topics to informative guests to the launch of Lisa’s new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Their conversation covers what Lisa hopes parents will focus on now, the launch date for Season Four, and the upcoming episodes for the summer. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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While summer is a great time to be more laid back, a parent writes in asking whether kids should really have less structure in the summer. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through key questions parents face once the school year ends: What's a reasonable bedtime - and how much sleep should kids be getting? What's fair to expect in terms of chores? And how much time should kids spend with digital devices, especially in light of the new, worrisome report from the U.S. Surgeon General? Their conversation offers both detailed answers and a broad perspective on the value of linking privileges and responsibilities.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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It can be hard to get your kids to be self-starters. How do we motivate kids to do the things they don't want to do? Dr. Lisa explains that there are times in parenting when offering encouragement and reminders just doesn't work. So can bribing your kids be a winning strategy for things like getting better grades? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss motivation and rewards. What really works to get kids motivated? This is an encore episode that originally ran at the beginning of 2022 during the pandemic.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in sports betting. Dr. Lisa lays out the psychological science explaining why gambling can be addictive and offers guidance on how to talk with teens about the potential dangers of sports betting.  

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Why are kids mean to their siblings? Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics behind sibling conflict and takes us inside the mind of older siblings. The conversation addresses why the onset of puberty makes it hard for kids to control their emotions, gendered dynamics, and how to steer clear of shame when one child hurts another. Dr. Lisa offers guidance on what parents can do - both in the moment and after the fact - to prevent lasting harm.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Why do young people engage in self-harm? A mother writes in asking for advice on how to respond when her daughter cuts herself. Dr. Lisa unpacks why adolescents sometimes hurt themselves to manage distress and Reena asks about the connection between self-harm and suicide. Using research as a guide, Dr. Lisa explains self-harm, how adults can respond helpfully, and what interventions to consider. 

Dr. Lisa Resource Recommendation: 

The DBT Skills Workbook for Teen Self-Harm: Practical Tools to Help You Manage Emotions and Overcome Self-Harming Behaviors

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What’s the best way for parents to respond when their high school senior wants to spend every waking minute with friends? A mom writes in asking if it's okay to require her teen to spend time with the family before heading off to college. Dr. Lisa walks us through the complex psychological dynamics unfolding for high school seniors and their parents. Teens are often working to consolidate a new identity and can be remote and prickly around the house. Parents often feel annoyed with their college-bound kid and, simultaneously, like they aren't ready to let go. Do teens continue to hold their folks at arms length? What about the example being set for younger siblings? Dr. Lisa answers these questions and more.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Dr. Lisa and Reena welcome special guest Dr. Laurence Steinberg, Professor of Psychology at Temple University, to celebrate the publication of his latest book You And Your Adult Child: How To Grow Together In Challenging Times. Dr. Steinberg unpacks key research and decades of experience to answer questions from Ask Lisa listeners: How long should you financially support your kids? What if your parents aren’t the grandparents you hoped they'd be? When should you speak out about worrisome choices an adult child is making? Dr. Steinberg addresses how to navigate shifting family dynamics and the importance of supporting autonomy in young adults - even as they continue to need parental love and guidance.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Does it always make sense for students to enroll in college immediately after high school? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss when and why parents might want to think seriously about having a teen take a gap year. They weigh the pros and cons of "stepping off the conveyor belt" to college and talk about how gap years are best spent. Reena shares her concern that allowing a gap year makes college less likely. Dr. Lisa explains how having an extra year can go a long way toward helping students make the most of the college opportunity.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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From not getting into a desired college to not making a team - how do we help kids process unfairness? A dad writes in asking for help when his high school junior loses the National Honors Society presidency to a classmate known for online posts about drinking. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to help kids come to terms with unfairness and privilege as they play out in school, sports, and leadership positions. Dr. Lisa reminds parents of the importance of helping kids develop the capacity to tolerate - and grow from - emotional discomfort. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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How do you know if your child has a gaming addiction? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When is it time to worry that a kid is spending too much time gaming? And what should parents do? 

AVAILABLE NOW Lisa’s new book: 

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Parents seeking professional support for their kids often run into a confusing array of therapies to choose from. In this episode, Dr. Lisa provides a neutral guide on the various options - DBT, CBT, talk therapy, somatic therapy, play therapy, and family therapy - and describes which options are the best fit for which concerns. From Freudian therapy to body-based treatments, Dr. Lisa and Reena give listeners an accessible guide to therapeutic interventions.

AVAILABLE NOW Lisa’s new book: 

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What’s the difference between real and faux self-care? Dr. Pooja Lakshmin helps us rethink what it means to care for ourselves and answers listeners' questions related to her new book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). Dr. Lisa and Reena find out how to realistically manage life's pressures - from raising kids to managing aging parents - while making self-care a priority. Dr. Lakshmin discusses the personal journey that inspired her new book and the step-by-step approach to real change that she details for readers.

Resources:

Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) 

By Pooja Lakshmin M.D.

NYT: How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers

By Pooja Lakshmin M.D.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world. This episode is an encore presentation that originally ran at the end of May in Season Two. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Preparing for life after high school is about more than just getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what drives procrastination in kids, how adults can provide executive functioning "training wheels," and how to get kids to do things like homework without having to nag constantly. The conversation also considers when parents should offer lots of support, and when kids should be allowed to feel the consequences of being disorganized.

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Dr. Lisa’s new book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers is officially out today in print and audio book. 

In this episode Lisa and Reena discuss Lisa’s new book and the research behind it. Lisa explains why she felt passionate about writing the book, the strategies it offers parents for navigating the teen years, and how it will help parents know what's typical teen behavior and when it's time to worry. Reena asks if the pandemic forever changed teen behavior and how gender influences the experience of emotion. Lisa describes what the research says about what men need to do to help boys handle emotions well and the big take-aways she hopes parents will get from her book. 

AVAILABLE NOW:

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Parents should view sexual development as a facet of overall healthy development, but that's not always easy to do. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the concept of “the sex talk" and Lisa explains that, instead of a single sit-down, conversations about physical intimacy should be short, start earlier than expected, and happen over time. Reena asks how parents can find openings to discuss sex when it can be such an awkward topic, and whether parents should really expect (or even want) for their kids to be open about their sex lives. Lisa describes how different cultures take different approaches to their kids' emerging love lives, and what the Dutch get right about sex.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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How should a parent respond to a kid who seems to complain all the time? Dr. Lisa explains why complaints, though often tedious to listen to, can actually play an important role in healthy development. Reena points out that parents are usually exhausted and trying to keep a positive energy around the house; Dr. Lisa and Reena address how parents might balance allowing kids to vent with the fact that complaining can bring everyone down. This episode also addresses when it's time to worry about complaining and offers a fresh vantage point that might help you rethink your response the next time you ask your kid, “So, how was your day?”

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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A teen confides to her mother that she is gay but doesn’t want her dad to know. Her mother writes the Ask Lisa podcast with several questions: How can parents best support teens who identify as LGBTQ+? Is it right to hold information from the other parent? How should the family handle sleepovers with same-sex peers? Dr. Lisa explains how worried kids can be when they come out to their parents; Reena asks how parents should respond if they wonder if their child is going through a phase. Dr. Lisa addresses how sexual identities sometimes evolve over time, and Reena becomes emotional while processing how isolating it must be for parents who are raising kids in communities that might not be supportive of their child. Dr. Lisa offers guidance and resources. 

Dr. Lisa’s recommendations

BOOK: Sex, Teens, and Everything In Between by Shafia Zaloom

WEBSITE: Scarleteen is a progressive, independent sexuality and relationships education media and support organization and website.

https://www.scarleteen.com/

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Vaping has become a growing concern for many parents of tweens and teens. What can adults do to steer kids clear of it, and what should we do to help kids who find themselves hooked on nicotine? Dr. Lisa discusses research-based strategies that can keep kids from experimenting with vaping or help them stop once they've started. Reena asks for advice on helping kids deal with peer pressure around vaping.

Resources:

This is Quitting online community to help people who are addicted to nicotine

Lisa's 2.14.18 NYT article: How to Talk With Teenagers About Vaping

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com https://drlisadamour.com/resources/podcast/

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can learn from their mistakes if they are being canceled? How can kids move down the road to repair?

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Is it normal for my teen son to not want to talk to me? That’s the question we tackle this week. Dr. Lisa explains that it can feel like a personal rejection when teens pull away from their parents, but that is rarely the case. So how do parents stay invested and find connection? Lisa and Reena unpack the strategies that work and Lisa draws on research from her new book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. The conversation turns to how, without meaning to, we socialize boys to be less fluent in their feelings, and why we cannot leave the emotional work to women alone. Before wrapping up, Reena asks when parents should take teens' silence personally and what they should do. 

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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We all want to start the New Year feeling our best, but that's a tall order for the many parents who feel mentally and physically exhausted. In response to a question from a parent asking how she can feel less stressed, anxious, and harried, Dr. Lisa and Reena consider what makes for effective self-care, how to hit the reset button, the science behind maintaining a sense of equilibrium, and why parenting can feel so hard - even when things are going well.

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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The holidays can usher in a focus on spending and consumerism. How do we instill healthy values in our kids, make sure that they appreciate what really matters in life, and keep them from becoming preoccupied with wealth or material objects? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the critical question of what parents can do to keep kids grounded and Lisa unpacks research on what really works.  

Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Having friendships with families where the kids and adults love hanging out can be wonderful. But what happens when the kids’ relationships sour or they drift in different directions? Dr. Lisa helps parents navigate the tricky conversations they may need to have with their friends. What should parents do when they know that their kid is being excluded? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to start a conversation with the adults who are involved without making the whole situation worse.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. So...is it a good idea to track your teen's location? While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep teens safe? Reena asks about the downsides of tracking a teen’s location and Dr. Lisa lays out the tricky scenarios she's encountered in her practice. 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Having conversations with our kids about money can be difficult. So how do we set them up for good financial health? Financial expert Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast as a special guest. The conversation answers key questions from listeners, including: How do we get kids to understand the value of the things they have? Should you do allowances? How do you teach financial responsibility to teens without stressing them out? Should kids have a credit or debit card, or even a checking account? Bobbi explains why there is value in biting your tongue and letting kids make mistakes with money and explains how her book grew out of some of her own parenting mishaps and regrets around money. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resources 

Bobbi Rebell’s website: www.GrownupGear.com

Books:

By Bobbi Rebell. Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart. 

By Ron Lieber. The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

Podcast:

Bobbi Rebell hosts the podcast, Money Tips for Financial Grownups podcast

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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The holidays can be both joyful and stressful. Being in close quarters with relatives whose political or social views are completely different from yours can make this busy time of year even more challenging. Dr. Lisa offers a plan to help families and their kids avoid conflict when possible and cope with any friction that does arise. She also lays out a game plan for how to talk with our kids about guests and relatives who don't make for great company. Lisa and Reena offer this holiday encore presentation to help families during the holidays. 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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A parent writes in asking for help for their teen who feels intensely anxious about going to school and interacting with adults outside the home. Dr. Lisa explains that the need to stay close to home during the height of the pandemic has made it hard for many young people to spread their wings now. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the root causes of clinginess and separation anxiety and how those causes can differ depending on a child's age. Their conversation addresses what adults can do now to help young people understand anxiety, get the upper hand on their nerves, and find their way back into the world.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Grades can be a source of family anxiety and stress, and online grading portals can make the situation both better and worse. A dad writes in asking how parents and kids can better manage online grades. Reena explains that she gets pinged on email every time her kids' grades are posted and Dr. Lisa has surprising advice for parents in the same boat. Dr. Lisa explains the upsides and downsides of having access to online grades, and how families can use these systems to help kids become more independent at school. In "Parenting-To-Go" Lisa offers one question parents might want to ask themselves to help keep online grading systems in perspective.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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How should we talk to our kids about what it means to fall in love? Parents know how good it can feel to make a strong connection and be on the receiving end of affection, but we also want to shield kids from heartbreak. Dr. Lisa helps walks us through how we can talk with our kids about both the emotional and physical sides of love, while Reena asks key questions about how to deal with the fact that these conversations are often uncomfortable for both parents and kids. Dr. Lisa explains how we can keep these important discussions going without being awkward or dismissive - offering a "swat team" strategy that can make a big difference. This episode also includes key guidance about how to make the most of the openings our kids provide to talk about young love.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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How can we support kids who feel uncomfortable about the timing of puberty? A parent writes in asking what to say to a late bloomer who feels out of step with her peers. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on what it means to reach puberty early - or late - and how this differs depending on gender. Reena and Dr. Lisa address whether there's such a thing as perfectly timed puberty, and how to talk about the changes that come with puberty in ways that won't send tweens and teens running for the hills.

The Ask Lisa Podcast

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Do violent video games normalize violence? A parent whose son becomes more aggressive with his sisters after playing certain games writes in asking for advice. Is it best to pull the plug on games like Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto, even if they're important to a boy's social life? Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on how violent video games affect kids and offers guidelines to consider. Reena asks how old kids should be if they are going to play video games and describes how allowing her son to play Call of Duty turned into a teachable moment. Dr. Lisa and Reena lay out the key conversations that parents might want to have with young gamers.

The Ask Lisa Podcast

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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How do we help teens take ownership of their lives, especially if they are feeling overwhelmed by all that adults are asking of them? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can move from nagging teens to seeing themselves as teachers who help teens become increasingly independent. The conversation also details the important role of adults outside the home, and the one thing Dr. Lisa has seen transform even the most reluctant teens into young people who can advocate for themselves.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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How do you help a teen who won't stop smoking marijuana? When does a family need to step in? A mom writes in asking for help for her son who has been caught smoking marijuana both at school and at home. Dr. Lisa explains what parents should know about substance abuse, and Reena asks how best to explain the risks of marijuana to kids, especially in light of widespread legalization. The conversation also covers the concept of “self-medicating” and why some kids think it’s okay to use marijuana to cope with pain. 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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A parent who hates sleepovers writes in to ask if they are really necessary. Dr. Lisa and Reena weigh the social costs of not allowing kids to host or attend sleepovers and what parents can do instead. They also address the clear parameters that can reduce the downsides of sleepovers, raise concerns parents may not have thought of, and detail the kinds of conversations parents might have with their kids if sleepovers are going to be allowed.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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College can be incredibly expensive, so how should parents think about covering the cost? What do we say to our kids about what we can, or are willing, to pay? How do you make the most of 529 plans? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions and more with special guest Ron Lieber, author of The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make.

Resources from Ron Lieber

Ron Lieber on 529 plans: A Tax Strategy for 529 College Savings Accounts

Ron Lieber on merit aid: High School Grades Could Be Worth $100,000 Time to Tell Your Child? 

 Books by Ron Lieber: 

The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

The Ask Lisa Podcast

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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When kids get stuck or fall apart while playing sports, what should parents do? Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool, and explains a key change in thinking can help kids manage when they make mistakes. She and Reena also discuss how to help kids appreciate the importance of being team players and the fact that kids rarely improve in sports they've stopped enjoying. Reena asks about whether we should push kids to stick with sports they’re not good at, and Dr. Lisa explains the value of playing a sport that doesn’t come naturally.

Book recommendation:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, PhD

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

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Friends are supposed to make you feel better, but what about when kids have "friends" who leave them feeling awful? How do you help tweens and teens identify when a friendship has become toxic and gracefully remove themselves without becoming socially isolated? Reena and Dr. Lisa discuss how to handle tricky friendships, how to help kids create distance without being hurtful, and how to make sure that kids don't have all of their friendships eggs in one basket. Dr. Lisa also explains what not to do when helping kids get out of bad friendships. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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After more than two years of pandemic-related disruption, there's a lot riding on this school year. But what do you do if your kid doesn't seem to care about grades or how things are going academically? How can adults get kids to self-motivate and without micro-managing? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how parents can get kids to take school seriously, what kind of support is most useful, and the most common mistake adults make when trying to help students get back on track at school. In Parenting to Go Dr. Lisa provides tips that will help every family have the best possible start to the new school year.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

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Join Dr. Lisa and Reena live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 22nd, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle. 

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Dr. Lisa and Reena have an update. Join them live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 8th, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle. 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

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Dr. Lisa runs down the five things she believes parents should focus on in summer 2022. The pandemic narrowed kids' opportunities for growth, but there's now a lot adults can do to help children and teenagers catch up. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss advice that might seem counterintuitive - such as the importance of encouraging kids to take some risks.

Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resources

• 50 Risks to Take With Your Kids: A Guide to Building Resilience and Independence in the First 10 Years by Daisy Turnbull
• The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden
• The Daring Book for Girls Hardcover by Andrea J Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz 
• ChopChop: The Kids' Guide to Cooking Real Food with Your Family by Sally Sampson and Carl Tremblay 
• The Kid's Guide to Service Projects: Over 500 Service Ideas for Young People Who Want to Make a Difference by Barbara A. Lewis
• The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. 

Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions.

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How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age-appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world. 

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How much should we shield our kids from risk? And how much should we go out of our way to make their lives more comfortable? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of fostering independence and encouraging our children to take safe risks. Reena asks if we should try to make our kids' lives easier when we can, especially given all that they have gone through in the pandemic. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how much distress we should allow our kids to tolerate and when we should offer support. 

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What causes a child or teenager to become suicidal? What steps can be taken to prevent suicide? Dr. Jonathan B. Singer co-author of Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention joins the Ask Lisa podcast to answer questions from parents. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask about warning signs, whether peers can promote suicidal thoughts, when to be concerned about possible suicidality, and what to do.

Additional resources: 

• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
• The Jed Foundation
• Crisis Text Line
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: 

Ask Lisa is produced by: Good Trouble Productions

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A parent writes in asking how to pick up the pieces after her daughter shared a nude selfie with a boyfriend who then sent it to other boys at school. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about how impulsive moments can lead to serious consequences, what can be done to make things right, and the legal implications of sharing nude photos. The episode also addresses what to say to kids about requesting, sending, or unexpectedly receiving nude photos, and the simple--but often overlooked--change to school policy that can make a big difference. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resources

The New York Times, 1/2/18; Teenagers, Stop Asking for Nude Photos; By Dr. Lisa Damour

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Additional resources:

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Getting kids to do things without hounding them can seem impossible. This week the Ask Lisa Podcast presents an encore episode on nagging. At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home. Lisa introduces us to psychologist Haim Ginott who offers the perfect phrasing for motivating kids. 

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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How do you deal with grief and explain death to your kids? Knowing that you are losing a parent is difficult but how do you also help your kids process what will be coming? Dr. Lisa explains what kids need at different ages when processing grief and answers a parent’s question on how often kids should visit dying grandparents. Reena asks where parents are most likely to miss the mark when dealing with grief. Dr. Lisa explains why honesty is hugely important, and talks with Reena about how to prepare kids for funerals. 

Dr. Lisa’s Books Recommendations on Grief

• Fall of Freddy the Leaf, By Leo Buscaglia, PhD
• The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, By Judith Viorst 
• What’s Heaven?, By Maria Shriver
• Grief Day By Day,By Jan Warner
• The AfterGrief: Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss, By Hope Edelman

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Not getting into desired colleges can be devastating for teens and their parents. How can you help your child move past what feels like a major life setback? Dr. Lisa provides language that might be helpful in navigating this delicate moment. What do you say to friends and neighbors who put teens or their parents in an uncomfortable spot? Reena asks how you can help teens deal with feeling disappointed - and perhaps bitter about where other classmates got in - especially when they’ve put in a lot of hard work. Dr. Lisa also reminds parents that, regardless of where teens are going to college, there may still be work to do to get them ready for freshman year. 

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can learn from their mistakes if they are being canceled? How can kids move down the road to repair?

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A parent discovers an alarming text about a classmate on her kid's phone and wonders if she should confront her child. How do you address text messages that you were not meant to see? Dr. Lisa walks us though how to weigh your child's safety with the need to build trust. When should you tell a fellow parent if you have intel on their child? Reena wonders why you shouldn’t just pick up the phone and call the other parent. Lisa explains how and when to pass along information about another child without damaging your relationship with your own. 

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How do you teach kids about justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his new children's book, Justice Is...A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. The conversation addresses the many ways adults can inspire young people to fight injustice and defend the truth. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask Preet, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, about his experiences raising his own children, bouncing back from hard times, and the key lessons we should teach our children.

Purchase a signed copy of Preet’s new children’s book: https://booksofwonder.com/products/9780593176627

Checkout live events with Preet & Cafe: http://cafe.com/events

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Why do kids suddenly turn on their friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often. Kids need shared interests to hold their groups together and that "social glue" has been depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how negative behavior can emerge among friends and become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean girl behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids should do when classmates are nice to them one-on-one but won't include them in groups at school.

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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A dad writes in asking if it's okay to celebrate his daughter’s appearance and how this might help, or hurt, her self-confidence. How do we help kids feel good about themselves and their bodies, especially when they are bombarded by images on social media that have them worried about their looks? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about when it's okay to talk about appearance, when it's best to say nothing, and how to handle it when teens present themselves in ways that are not appropriate. Reena asks for tips on how to talk to our kids about physical appearance in a world that is already so focused on good looks. 

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Nobody likes being lied to, especially by our own children. Why do kids lie? Dr. Lisa looks at lying from a developmental standpoint and points out that when a child asks for more privacy, it doesn't necessarily mean they’re doing something sneaky. But when a child does lie, how should a parent respond? Dr. Lisa explains the difference between a child feeling appropriately guilty, and a child being made to feel shame. The bottom line? How you respond to dishonesty can make an important difference in how kids behave. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resources:

Lisa’s NYT’s column: How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole

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Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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A step-parent asks for Dr. Lisa’s help as she finds herself parenting three kids under eight, two of them step-children. Should step-parents discipline differently? Dr. Lisa talks about what parents can do to keep kids from feeling stuck in a loyalty conflict between their parent and step-parent. Reena asks about common mistakes step-parents make when forming a relationship with step-kids. Dr. Lisa also explains how weekday parenting can be different from weekend parenting. She maps out how you can create a framework to make multiple households run smoothly. What do you do if one home feels like Disney World and another is more strict? The co-hosts discuss how playing the long-game can make all the difference. 

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Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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A parent from Connecticut wants to know if it’s acceptable for her teen to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. How should parents approach a conversation like this one? What do you do if your values are not the same as other parents'? The Dutch approach teen romance very differently than Americans do. Dr. Lisa explains the cross-cultural research on teens and sex. Reena asks how to move beyond an impasse with your kid and Dr. Lisa explains why there is value in having some tension with teens. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation

Brugman, M., Caron, S. L., and Rademakers, J. (2010). Emerging adolescent sexuality: A comparison of American and Dutch college women’s experiences. International Journal of Sexual Health 22 (1), 32–46, p. 39.

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Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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No one wants to be that nagging parent. Dr. Lisa explains how the trickiest transition in parenting might be when nagging no longer works with your teen. At these times, is bribing a good strategy? Dr. Lisa walks us through different approaches to motivating kids and how to respond when they reflexively say "no." Reena and Lisa discuss when it might make sense to bribe a teen to get better grades.

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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What are the signs a teen is suffering from depression and needs help? Dr. Lisa explains what you need to watch for. Reena asks what parents should do if their teen refuses help, and how parents can bring up therapy without making a teen feel worse. Lisa explains that teens often worry that they are broken - a narrative that needs to be considered when offering help. Dr. Lisa explains how she found inspiration from an unexpected reality star, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and also mentions a major change for licensed clinicians that might make it easier to find the right therapist. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation

PSYPACT is an interstate compact that allows registered psychologists to practice across state boundaries: https://psypact.site-ym.com/page/About

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How do you build confidence in kids? How do you lay the groundwork for better self-esteem? What age does confidence start to plummet in girls? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions, explain where self-esteem comes from, and cover how parents can help children feel good about themselves in this encore episode. 

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Three-time Olympian and mom of three, Lauren Regula joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to talk about what kids should really be getting out of athletics. How do you help kids make the most of their sports? Lauren explains why she doesn't put her kids in the most competitive sports leagues. She also shares the one question she asks her kids every night to help them grow in sports and life. 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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What’s the best way to help boost mental health in 2022? Dr. Lisa walks us through her five mental health resolutions for the new year. Reena asks how we can rethink mental wellness for ourselves and our families while continuing to navigate the pandemic. Some unexpected parenting inspiration comes from the words of Winston Churchill. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendations

The Power of a Positive No, by William Ury

The 5-Minute Gratitude Journal: Give Thanks, Practice Positivity, Find Joy, by Sophia Godkin, PhD

Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude: Gratitude Journal, by Pretty Simple Press

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This week we present an encore episode of one of our top performing shows. American singer Billi Eilish recently spoke about the devastating effects porn had on her when she was exposed at eleven. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can start a conversation about porn and why it’s so important to talk to your kids about it. Reena asks what’s the right age to have that talk. 

Articles:

Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography

Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It

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Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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As divorce numbers rise in the pandemic, we take a closer look at how divorce affects children. Dr. Lisa walks us through how children at different ages process their parents' separation. How can parents make the transition easier? Reena asks how do you make it work when you can’t stand your ex? Lisa details how couples who no longer want to be married can still work together as effective co-parents.

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https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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What if your child is the one who is hurting other kids feelings at school? A concerned mom discovers that her daughter, who has been struggling socially, is pushing peers away by being too critical. She turns to Dr. Lisa for advice on how to get her middle school daughter to become more self-aware and tolerant. 

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How do you know if your child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? A parent writes in worried about her daughter’s compulsive behavior and anxiety around germs. Dr. Lisa describes OCD, how it takes hold, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do if they are concerned that their child might suffer from it. Reena asks about the power of rituals and what parents can do to help their kids manage anxiety effectively.

Dr. Lisa’s OCD Resource Recommendations:

• If Your Adolescent Has an Anxiety Disorder: An Essential Resource for Parents by Edna Foa

• The OCD Workbook for Kids: Skills to Help Children Manage Obsessive Thoughts and Compulsive Behaviors by Pulifico and Robin

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As we reconnect with family over the holidays how do we deal with difficult relatives? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of crafting a plan that can help navigate what should be a happy time of year. What about relatives who might say offensive or insensitive things? Dr. Lisa describes how helping kids learn how to deal with them can turn awkward interactions into valuable teachable moments. Lisa and Reena draw from life on the high seas as they explain how establishing “submarine rules” might be an effective strategy in some homes this season. 

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Managing the teenage years can be overwhelming. Dr. Lisa explains what the toughest year is for teens and why. When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa discusses the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks.

Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen.

More resources:

BOOK 14 Talks by Age 14: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School 

By Michelle Icard

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What should parents do when their kids want to own the same luxury goods that belong to some of their friends and classmates? Dr. Lisa explains how we can respond to requests for expensive gifts, and how that conversation will change depending on a kid's age. Reena asks what parents can do at home to get their kids to see past wealth and craving costly things. Dr. Lisa details how conversations about materialism can open the door to talking about service, savings, and family values.

Book: The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber

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What’s the right age to get your kid a cell phone? Dr. Lisa and Reena look at the research on both sides of the debate. When a parent writes in asking if thirteen might be the right age, Lisa shares what parents should consider before handing their kid a first phone. She also explains how you can hit the reset button with kids who may already have a phone and Reena asks what parents can say to their kids when they want to hold off. Lisa also talks about the one reason when you absolutely should get your kid a phone and how modeling good digital habits can make a difference. 

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Additional resources: 

https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: 

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How do we teach kids healthy eating habits without focusing on calories or portion size? A parent writes in asking for advice about whether she should say something about her daughter's increasing weight. Dr. Lisa explains how to approach the delicate topics of food and weight and what should be discussed. Reena asks what it means to be of a “healthy weight.” Lisa also names the four power struggles that parents will want to avoid - because the kid has all the power.

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Dr. Lisa offers a deep-dive into the world of edible marijuana and how to talk with your child about the dangers of trying edibles. Reena asks what’s the difference between CBD and THC? How does marijuana affect the brain? What age should parents talk to their kids about edibles and should they say? In Parenting to Go, Lisa also explains that while parents may understandably want to avoid difficult conversations, if our kids are dealing with a tricky topic, we need to be ready to deal with it too. 

Lisa’s NYT Column 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/19/well/family/weed-edibles-teens.html?searchResultPosition=1

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Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Raising kids can be a bumpy, stressful, and uncertain process – which is why Lisa’s podcast brings her sane, informed, and practical perspective to your timely and timeless parenting questions. Cohost Reena Ninan, a world-class journalist who has covered the White House while packing a breast pump, makes sure to get you the answers you need.

GOT A PARENTING QUESTION YOU’D LIKE US TO TACKLE?

Send it to me at [email protected] – I’d love to hear from you.

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At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home. Lisa introduces us to psychologist Haim Ginott who offers the perfect phrasing for motivating kids. 

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn: @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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Where do confidence and self-esteem come from? What contributes to kids' highs and lows and how can parents help kids build a sturdy sense of self-esteem? Dr. Lisa describes the age at which self-esteem tends to drop off and the impact of gender. Reena asks how culture and race can affect self-esteem and confidence. Dr. Lisa explains what psychologists mean when they talk about "unconditional positive regard."

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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A Mom writes in from the deep South with concerns about whether to allow her daughter to socialize with a good friend who is unvaccinated. Dr. Lisa discusses the importance of framing the issue around the child’s safety while allowing the kid to guide the conversation. Reena asks how parents can weigh the mental health risks of not being socially active against the possibility of catching Covid. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help their children assess these risks. Should the Mom reach out to the other family? Dr. Lisa talks about when a parent should make that call. 

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Getting into college is hard work. So how do you raise kids who will thrive once they get there? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can prepare their kids to succeed when they become independent (hint: it's not about academics). When should a parent be concerned about a child who does not communicate with them? Is there such a thing as providing too much long-distance emotional support?

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Dr. Lisa and Reena get a letter from parents who are torn about allowing their underaged child to drink in their home. Dad wants the child to feel comfortable around alcohol, but Mom is not comfortable serving their teenager at home and wonders whether it's even legal to do so. Lisa explains what really matters in preparing your child for encounters with alcohol when parents are not around. She explains the concepts of hot and cold cognition and how they shape teen's choices. Reena asks, "What really works in making teens understand the consequences of drinking?"

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You’ve heard people say, “I want to get this off my chest,” but what if your kid doesn’t know how to express emotion? How do you get children and teenagers to talk? Dr. Lisa explains the term "emotional regulation," and how parents can help kids manage their feelings effectively. Reena asks, "What if you’re a parent who struggles with managing your own emotions?" Lisa explains how both parents and children can benefit from thinking in terms of learning how to express, and contain, emotions.

Events:

Join Lisa, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Times journalists (who are parents themselves) Apoorva Mandavilli, a science reporter, and moderator Andrew Ross Sorkin, Times columnist as they take your questions about kids and Covid on Sept 9th 1pm est.

RSVP below.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/12/science/fauci-kids-and-covid-event.html

Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column:

How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School

Listen to Reena's new daily news podcast "The Recount Daily Pod."

Dr. Lisa joined Reena on her new morning news podcast.... The Recount Daily Pod... to talk about stress and trauma.

You can listen & subscribe to "The Recount Daily Pod":

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-recount-daily-pod/id1574219377?i=1000533968493

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Is it ever too late to help your child rethink a friendship? How do you lay the groundwork to help children choose the right people to be in their lives? Dr. Lisa explains how the friends our kids chose can also give us a window into the people they may date. Even during the teenage years Lisa says there are ways to help foster new friendships. Reena asks when should a parent intervene.

Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column:

How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan kick off Season Two of Ask Lisa by talking about how to cope with another school year under Covid-19. They tackle a letter from a parent seeking advice on how to deal with her own anxiety about kids going back to school as the Delta variant rages. She is exhausted and does not see relief coming any time soon. How do we help our kids feel school-ready when we are running on empty?

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

Additional resources:

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Should we be pushing children and teens to make up for lost learning this summer? Or should we let them call the shots on how they spend their time? What really matters most? Dr. Lisa has advice that might seem counterintuitive for parents who feel ready to charge ahead. A mom writes in asking for advice on how to think about summer schedules for her three kids. Reena seeks guidance on managing social media and video games once school lets out. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about what families should focus on when making summer plans. In this final episode of the season, Lisa and Reena also explain how to stay connected with the podcast this summer. Season Two starts August 24th.

Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium.

Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com

Enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off.

Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resource List

100 Summer Fun Ideas for Kids and Parents

100+ Things for Teens to Do This Summer

Lisa Damour's 6.1.21 New York Times column Why Teens Need a Break This Summer

Email us your questions or topics you would like us to cover to [email protected].

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Lisa and Reena are joined by guest Emmanuel Acho, former NFL linebacker, current FoxSports analyst, host of the YouTube hit "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man," and author of a book by the same name. Most recently, Emmanuel wrote the instant #1 New York Times Bestseller "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Boy." In a discussion both wide-ranging and deep, Emmanuel tackles how to talk with our kids about the n-word, what we can do to address systemic racism and prejudice, and what it really means for parents and their children to act as allies.

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

Enter to win one of two copies of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Boy By Emmanuel Acho from the @asklisapodcast.

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 6/7/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.)

Parent Promotion

Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium. Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com and enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off.

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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The pandemic has disrupted our kids' social lives. What can parents do to help a child make new friends if they've withdrawn from their peers? How do we help kids who are reluctant to reach out, or who rub their classmates the wrong way? A mom emails about her twelve and a half-year-old daughter who was once an extrovert and now is not. Dr. Lisa explains the five categories that have been identified by research to describe kids' social profiles, and how knowing these categories helps us give children the right kind of support. Should parents try to engineer friendships? Lisa has a strong opinion on this topic while Reena asks how we can help kids find secure friendships as we emerge from Covid-19.

BOOKGIVEAWAY:

The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults; By Elizabeth A. Laugeson, Psy.D.

Enter to win a copy from the @asklisapodcast.

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

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(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/31/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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Should you be concerned if your child has a messy, disorganized room? A mom emails asking for advice on how to handle a kid's room that feels out of control. Dr. Lisa introduces us to the term executive functioning, the mental processes that help with managing oneself and one's possessions. Reena asks if being disorganized as a child can lead to problems down the line. Lisa offers guidance on when it's time to step in and how to help your children organize themselves and their things.

BOOK GIVEAWAY

Enter to win a copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

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⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EDT on 5/24/21. Winner will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

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After more than a year of being stuck at home in a pandemic, it’s no surprise siblings are getting on each other's nerves. Should parents step in - or step back - when kids start fighting? Dr. Lisa tackles this question and also explains how parents' approach to conflict can influence how kids fight with their siblings. Reena asks how parents can keep their cool when heads are getting hot, and whether kids can really learn to manage their own conflicts. Dr. Lisa describes strategies that work having seen them in action during a unique summer job.

For Children Everywhere

www.giveindia.org

Give India helps individuals donate to NGO’s in India helping to fight the Covid-19 outbreak.

Send us your questions for our upcoming podcast on talking to kids about race with author Emmanuel Acho. Send questions to [email protected].

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Talking to kids about their love lives can be uncomfortable, but discussing consent is one of the most important conversations to have with our children. Dr. Lisa explains why she feels that when we focus on consent, we are articulating the lowest possible bar for acceptable physical intimacy. She offers thoughts on how we might rethink and reframe the entire topic in order to be most helpful to our children. Reena asks: Can we change our collective mindset on consent? And how do you explain coercion and consent to children? The conversation includes a look at how pornography factors into teenagers' understanding of consensual relationships.

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

One copy each of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein

Enter to win one of 2 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)

3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/10/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

OTHER RESOURCES:

Lisa's articles from the NYT:

Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex (1/11/17)

Getting ‘Consent’ for Sex Is Too Low a Bar (7/18/18)

Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex (11/14/18)

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Experts are finding that the pandemic has led to an alarming rise in eating disorders. Dr. Lisa explains how eating disorders can sneak up on families and why they can be incredibly harmful. Lisa and Reena discuss how social media can contribute to eating disorders and the fact that these illnesses affects people from all genders, economic backgrounds, and races. Early intervention matters, so what are the signs of an eating disorder? How do you talk to kids about eating disorders? And when should you seek help?

FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE:

Eating disorders can be linked to food insecurity. Feeding America can help you find your local food bank to make a donation.

https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Lisa’s NYT column: Eating Disorders in Teens Have 'Exploded' in the Pandemic

anorexiafamily.com Help for parents of children and teens suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders.

feast-ed.org F.E.A.S.T. is an international non-profit organization of and for caregivers of loved ones suffering from eating disorders.

nationaleatingdisorders.org NEDA supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.

maudsleyparents.org Maudsley Parents was created in 2006 by parents who helped their children recover with family-based treatment, to offer hope and help to other families confronting eating disorders. 

eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/resources/ Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Center for Treatment and Research at University of California, San Diego

www.childrenshospital.org/centers-and-services/programs/a-_-e/eating-disorders-program/helpful-links Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Program at Boston Children’s Hospital

https://www.aedweb.org/resources/about-eating-disorders Informational resources developed by the Academy for Eating Disorders

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Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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"If the pandemic is about anything, it's about loss,” says Dr. Lisa Damour. Grief can come in different forms - from losing a loved one, to mourning the loss of senior year in high school, to not getting into your favorite college. How can you tell if your child is grieving and what can you do to help? Lisa and Reena examine how to support our kids as they cope with loss. Reena shares how a bouncy castle rented on the morning of her grandfather’s funeral helped her family deal with loss. Lisa discusses insights from Sigmund Freud - written over one hundred years ago - that can be helpful as we find our way through the pandemic.

Enter to win one of two copies of "Fall of Freddie the Leaf" being given away by the @asklisapodcast. The book has helped children and adults deal with the mourning process.

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⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/26/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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How do you talk to kids about social media postings that might cross a line? What's the best way to start a conversation with your sons and daughters about what's too sexy for public consumption? A parent writes to Lisa and Reena about the suggestive TikTok postings her daughter puts up. Lisa explains how to open up lines of communication and the guidance parents might give about posts that could be seen as provocative. Lisa also shares what she is seeing during the pandemic and details why kids post suggestive content at this age.

Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Lisa's fabulous New York Times best-selling book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls.

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⁠

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/19/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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How do you prepare kids for life in the real world? Author Julie Lythcott-Haims joins Lisa and Reena for a conversation on the non-academic skills your children need to succeed as they move into young adulthood. Julie spent more than a decade at Stanford University, some of that time as the dean of first-year students. The women talk about how to discuss race with our children, the different chores kids should take on as they age, and the critical importance of having real responsibilities at home. Julie describes the power of positive parenting and talks about her brand-new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.

Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Julie’s new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠

4. For U.S. residents only⁠

⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/12/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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As we move into the next phase of this pandemic we take listeners back to an encore presentation of "Toolbox for Terrible Times: How to Manage Hopelessness and Helplessness." Lisa offers specific tools to help children with their feelings and describes the key role played by healthy psychological defenses. Reena gets emotional talking about what her son's Connecticut teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back at school. The conversation also covers psychological research on how both children and adults can significantly increase their well-being.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected]

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast @LDamour @ReenaNinan

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There are many reasons why kids lie to parents. Dr. Lisa gives several explanations for why kids sometimes don’t tell the truth and shares stories from her practice of the difficult scenarios she's helped families navigate, including an example of when parents assume the worst about their teen's behavior and get kids to live down to their expectations. Dr. Lisa and Reena also discuss cheating and how what happens in the mind of a six-year-old cheater differs from cheating among high school students. Ultimately, helping kids develop a fine-tuned conscience can make all the difference when it comes to being honest.

FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE: First Book works with half a million teachers in underserved communities to get them books and much needed resources. The organization believes the best way out of poverty is education: www.firstbook.org

ARTICLE: Lisa's NYT article How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected]

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Talking to a child about pornography might not be a conversation most parents think of having. However, by the age of sixteen, 90% of kids have looked at porn. Dr. Lisa Damour explains that kids' interest in sex is normal and part of healthy development. But she also explains how porn can be traumatic and confusing to kids and teens who encounter it. How do you approach the conversation and at what age should you start discussing it? Reena asks for tips on how to make these talks less uncomfortable.

BOOK GIVEAWAY

Enter to win a copy of Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between by Shafia Zaloom or a copy of It's Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris and Michelle Emberley, given away by @asklisapodcast.

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

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(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/22/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

ARTICLES

Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography

Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected]

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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With the one year anniversary of the pandemic approaching there are reasons to be hopeful. The infection rates are dropping and more vaccines are being distributed. So why do so many people still feel down? Reena asks about what parents can do when they feel the ground is shifting and things are out of their control. How do we help kids manage the anxiety of starting in-person school and the persistent stress of this pandemic? Lisa talks through strategies for finding a way out of feeling anxious and depressed.

Book Giveaway!!

Enter to win one of 3 copies of A Place to Hang the Moon by Kate Albus being given away by @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

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(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/15/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected]

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Finding time to quiet your mind can have real benefits for you and your child. Author, instructor, mom, and entrepreneur Mallika Chopra is our special guest. She says that meditation isn’t just repeating mantras - there are many other ways your kids can be mindful. Mallika also talks about her father Deepak Chopra and how he found meditation after going through his own personal struggles. Mindful eating is also discussed.

Book Giveaway!!

Enter to win one of 3 copies of Mallika Chopra's new book Just Be You being given away by @asklisapodcast.

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

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(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/8/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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A parent writes in asking for help to address a teenager's marijuana use. Some teens are turning to drugs in this pandemic as they are looking for ways to cope with the sadness and boredom. Dr. Lisa explains what actually works in getting kids to stop using drugs and how to talk with kids in a way that's likely to keep them from becoming involved with drugs in the first place. Dr. Lisa talks about choices kids might make in the pandemic that could have irreversible consequences, while also offering tips on positive coping. Reena asks when adults should be concerned about their own behavior with regard to alcohol or marijuana use.

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

Thrivers: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, by Dr. Michele Borba

Enter to win one of 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.

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3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/1/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected]

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

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Should you speak up when you disagree with the approach other families are taking with their Covid rules? Reena discusses the latest news on the spread of the British mutation and Dr. Lisa describes the mental maneuvers we make when trying to rationalize behavior. How do we find peace when we feel uneasy with what other families are doing? And how do you talk with children about the fact that different families follow different rules?

For Children Everywhere - “A Million Thanks” collects and sends millions of letters thanking and supporting our active, reserve, and veteran military. Generosity can come in the form of writing letters or sending art work - all your child needs to send is a picture or note. The organization does request a $1 donation for postage as they sort letters to get into the hands of those who need the mail the most:

https://amillionthanks.org/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected]

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast

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When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks.

Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen.

BOOK GIVEAWAY: 14 Talks By Age 14: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School; by Michelle Icard

Enter to win one of 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram and/or Facebook @asklisapodcast

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook)

3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 2/15/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

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How do you get kids to understand the importance of hygiene? A mom writes in that her son is making life unbearable at home because he refuses to take regular showers since he has spent much of the year learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains the concept of habituation - the process of growing accustomed to sensory input - and discusses with Reena the science behind sensation and perception. Lisa offers strategies to help kids understand why they can't smell themselves and gives guidance on when, as a parent, it's time to lay down the law. Reena and Lisa also talk about the sweet smell of success. Reena’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers made it to the Super Bowl. What life lessons can Tom Brady and Gronk teach us from the football field?

Lisa's 1/29/29 article in The New York Times: Helping a Teen Who Is Angry About House Rules on Covid

BOOK GIVEAWAY: Dr. Cara Natterson's books on puberty: "The Care & Keeping of You" (Book 1 for younger girls & Book 2 for older girls) and "Guy Stuff." Enter to win one set of all 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram and/or Facebook @asklisapodcast

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook)

3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 2/8/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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A single mom writes in feeling worried because her daughter is questioning her gender. Dr. Lisa explains what we understand about gender identity and sexual orientation, and offers advice on what to do when you are at an impasse with your child. Parents often feel they need to drive the bus on getting to a desired outcome, but that's not usually the best approach. Lisa and Reena talk about how to think with your child about complex and delicate topics, and Lisa explains what teenagers really respect in adults. She also discusses research she uncovered about the parent-child relationship while writing Untangled that might surprise you.

Lisa's 10/7/20 book review in The New York Times: 'Tomboy’ Looks at Gender Roles, and Role-Playing, Through the Ages

BOOK GIVEAWAY:

Dr. Lisa Damour’s “Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood.”

Enter to win one of 3 copies being given away by @asklisapodcast.

1. Follow us on Instagram and/or Facebook @asklisapodcast

2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook)

3. Enter as many times as you'd like

4. For U.S. residents only

(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 2/1/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan