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Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex–to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum–the blog!
The podcast Bare Marriage is created by Sheila Gregoire. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
So many evangelical pastors teach that men are rational while women are emotional. But is this true? And if women are more emotionally mature than men, then doesn't that mean that men need to learn from women? Listen in as Keith and Sheila dissect several clips from Josh Howerton, Emerson Eggerichs, Josh McPherson, and Matt Walsh.
WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:
Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.
TO SUPPORT US:
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We know watching porn is wrong--but are romance novels just as bad? We've often heard that comparison made: Sure, guys watch porn, but remember that women read novels! Today Rebecca and I talk about when the comparison may be fair, and when it isn't. And we ask: how should we see romance novels or erotic novels? Listen in and see what you think--as we try to reason it through!
WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:
Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.
And join Beth Allison Barr and Karen Swallow Prior and me for a FREE webinar TONIGHT, March 27, at 9 pm EST. Registration is FREE.
TO SUPPORT US:
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if marriage replaced ordination as a woman's path to ministry? What if we've systematically erased the stories of women ministering in the past, and in so doing silenced women's voices and removed opportunities to serve Jesus? Today Beth Allison Barr joins us to talk about her new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife!
REGISTER FOR OUR FREE WEBINAR
Join Beth Allison Barr, Sheila, and Karen Swallow Prior on Thursday, March 27 at 9 pm for a FREE webinar (recording will be available afterwards if you can't make it live).
Register here
BECOMING THE PASTOR'S WIFE
Find the book here
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The Marriage You Want is LIVE! Our book launched this week, and in this week's podcast we take a broad, investigative look into the state of evangelical marriage publishing, and why there has very little change in the top 10 books in decades. Plus what it means to have SAFE and HEALTHY marriage advice! Come celebrate with us in episode 274 of Bare Marriage!
THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
It's episode 273 of the Bare Marriage podcast! We found that certain beliefs are correlated most with emotional immaturity--passive aggressiveness; outbursts of anger; emotional dysregulation. In our research for our book The Marriage You Want, we found that when couples believe the husband should have the tie breaking vote, they score lower on maturity.
Is this because emotionally immature people are drawn to these beliefs? Or do these beliefs hamper maturity? Today we talk about why it's actually both, and what that means for our own personal responsibility.
THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if the "acts of service" love language is masking something else--the totally unequal division of labor that many couples have, and Gary Chapman ignores? Plus does the "physical touch" love language mask something wrong in the bedroom? ALL NEW BONUS STATS today! Some of them aren't even in the new book!
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Prioritizing your marriage can be tough. How do we spend enough time together? Do we need more date nights? And MOMS—don’t forget to be a wife first and a mom second! But in all this talk, are we missing the bigger point? If we’re functioning as a team, doing life together, then affection will grow. But if you see your kids as threats to your marriage, or think you can connect with a date night when you haven’t been in the trenches together all week, you’re not going to feel close. A new way of thinking about prioritizing your relationship—without the GUILT! Based on new stats from The Marriage You Want!
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever tried to find a compromise when you’re having an argument—but even the compromise doesn’t seem fair? In today’s podcast we explain why—using what we call The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs. We talk about this in our new book The Marriage You Want! Basically, compromise only works if you both start off on equal footing. But if one of you is already doing more than their fair share, compromise just makes it even more unequal. So let’s talk about foundation vs. frills, how to overcome entitlement, and why unfairness can’t go on forever!
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What is the biggest key to a great marriage? Teamwork! Let’s talk about how teamwork is associated with all the good outcomes we want for marriage—better sex; feeling close; resolving conflict—everything! But complementarianism, on the other hand, is associated with all the bad outcomes. Good outcomes and bad outcomes tend to travel together—and complementarianism travels with the bad stuff! Hear about all our new data from our new book The Marriage You Want!
LINKS
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
In our research looking at marital and sexual satisfaction among evangelicals, we’ve found that over and over again our best-selling books, and our megachurch pastors, teach things that are shown to lead to worse outcomes. Why? What’s going on? In today’s podcast we share the faulty premise that is at the heart of evangelical marriage advice, and the four toxic teachings that flow from that false premise. But when we fix that first premise—then our advice can finally get healthy (and Jesus-centered!)
LINKS
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The idea that men need respect while women need love has been treated as gospel truth in the evangelical world. Best-sellers have been written based on it; it informs almost every marriage sermon. What if it’s not true? Using data from our marriage survey of 7000 people, we show how reality is very different—and what this means for how we should talk about marriage!
TO SUPPORT US
LINKS
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
So many of us got sucked into believing toxic stuff about marriage and sex in the evangelical church! But unless we figured out WHY we believed that, we’re likely to get suckered in again to toxic stuff—just DIFFERENT toxic stuff. So today, Rebecca and I are doing a postmortem, looking at what it is about church that leaves us vulnerable to believing things that are toxic and rather easy to see through. Let’s become critical thinkers, so we don’t get sucked in again!
TO SUPPORT US
LINKS
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Our big announcement: We’re peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let’s talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers?
COMING IN 2025
Pre-Order The Marriage You Want
Join our email list to be notified about the launch team
TO SUPPORT US
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Advent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith shares her stories of miscarriages and losses—as well as great celebrations, and what it means to embrace a life that is really messy. And we look at how we can celebrate the Incarnation by being Jesus’ hands and feet, seeing the work fighting sex trafficking that The Well House is doing. It’s the Christmas season, everyone!
Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Jimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences around the country. But for years he also Mark Driscoll on his leadership team. He got his start at Gateway Church under Robert Morris, who has been accused of grooming and sexually abusing a teen girl, starting when she was 12. And more recently audio of Evans’ bullying behavior has dropped. So let’s examine his book Marriage on the Rock—and we’ll find that he stresses one-sided sex as obligation; says dangerous things about abuse; and expects women to shoulder the mental and emotional load for the family.
Our Sponsor:
Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases.
These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!
LINKS:
Get Our One Sheet Download of Marriage on the Rock
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever feel like your body is a stranger to you? Like you’re plagued with insecurity, can’t find peace in your relationships? What if it’s because we’re running away from part of who we are, and we haven’t been able to honor who God made us to be? Christy Bauman, a licensed therapist, noticed in her counseling that her clients often didn’t have a clear identity or were able to articulate who they were. So she invites us on a journey of recovering rites of passage—where we honor sacred moments in our lives, honor our birthright, honor who God made us to be. We honor the good and the bad; we lament what is lost but we celebrate what we’ve achieved. And when we’re able to do these things, we can finally be comfortable in our own skin! Join us for this deep and personal conversation.
OUR SPONSOR:
Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
TO SUPPORT US
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the last few years ,when male teachers have presented a pornified view of sex and women have said "no", women have been accused of being prudes. But it is okay to reject objectification. A close look at Josh Butler, Gary Thomas coercing women into sending nude photos, and more--all of whom called us ashamed of sex for saying no.
SPECIAL: The Great Sex Rescue is on major sale on Amazon right now! Get it here
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or are you worried that you are too hard and demanding on them?
Well today I talk with Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting coach, as we get into the nitty gritty of how to find that balance between being authoritarian and overly permissive. Cut the drama, cut the power struggles, and learn how to thrive as a family!
SIGN UP for our FREE Parenting Webinar with Wendy! The Compassionate Discipline Workshop, Tuesday November 19 at 1 pm EST!
THINGS MENTIONED
TO SUPPORT US
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He’s an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are they so offended? Rick Pidcock joins Rebecca and Connor Lindenbach for a deep dive—and then Rebecca and Connor talk more about our anemic view of fatherhood.
TO SUPPORT US
Things Mentioned
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Christa Brown was sexually assaulted dozens of times by her youth pastor when she was 15. She was made to repent and apologize to his wife. The pastor just got moved around from church to church for decades. When Christa’s daughter reached the same age Christa was when she was assaulted, she went public—and started the movement to push the SBC towards accountability for the sexual abuse crisis in their midst. She’s written a memoir called BaptistLand, and today we talk about Christa’s fight—and how SBC megachurch pastors today are still demonizing “little girls” rather than holding men accountable.
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
Pick up our Great Sex Rescue Tookit—to help start important conversations to those close to you
TO SUPPORT US
IMPORTANT LINKS:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Talking to your kids about sex & puberty is awkward! And over the years the church has made some big mistakes. Today we talk about how to avoid the biggest ones--and some encouragement for how to do this with as little awkwardness as possible.
OUR SEX AND PUBERTY COURSE:
Check out our revamped version of The Whole Story--our sex and puberty course for parents to share with kids. It's video-based, and it makes covering all the info much easier. It's on sale until Monday, October 28 at midnight.
TO SUPPORT US:
THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We aren’t going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk about her new documentary For Our Daughters, which shows how beliefs about gender, power and politics that are rampant in the church actually contribute to abuse. And Pastor Trey Ferguson joins us to comment on a recent article he wrote explaining how evangelicalism’s views of sex, which ignore intimacy, contribute to abuse too.
OUR SPONSOR:
Dr. Camden’s wonderful new book Recovering from Purity Culture launches this week! Learn the 5 myths of purity culture, how they affected you, and best of all—how to heal from them. Highly practical and insightful!
Plus Sheila wrote the foreword!
https://drcamden.com/book/
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We know purity culture hurt so many of us. But how do we actually move on and recover from purity culture? Today Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to look at the 5 myths of purity culture, and how to heal and get to the other side!
OUR FREE WEBINAR!
Join Rebecca and me as we host Camden for a FREE webinar looking more into these myths, where we find them, and where we go from here! It'll be a super fun hour with some prizes, games, and lots of inside scoop!
Monday, October 14, 8 pm EST. Sign up here
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but when the wife comes to Christ first, it’s only 17%? Today Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz, both academics looking into gender relations in church, join me to try to track down the source. Spoiler alert: People seem to have made this up about 30 years ago—and they keep quoting it! We look at what happens when churches assume this stat is true.
OUR SPONSOR
Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED:
ABOUT MIRANDA ZAPOR CRUZ:
ABOUT BETH ALLISON BARR:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We're all about healthy advice for marriage and sex. But what if evangelical teachings around parenting have also been messed up? And how can we parent in a healthy way? David and Amanda Erickson join us to talk about their new book The Flourishing Family, based on Scripture, brain science, attachment theory, and more. THIS is how we should parent!
OUR SPONSOR
Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
TO SUPPORT US
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33% orgasm never or rarely.
The good news is that if you're in that 33%--you can still get to the 48%!
Today Rebecca and I look back at all the other episodes we've talked about orgasms, and have a great time discussing how we can learn to help couples prioritize her pleasure!
THE ORGASM COURSE
It's on sale until Monday, September 23 at midnight! When you purchase the regular course, you'll get the men's version added for free!
TO SUPPORT US
Things Mentioned in the Podcast
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is safe is to look at their words and their actions. And the words of far too many evangelical leaders and authors and pastors are straight up rape culture. After what happened to Gisele Pelicot, I’m not willing to put up with it anymore. No more Every Man’s Battle rape culture mindset in the church!
TO SUPPORT US
LINKS
Our Sponsor:
Rebecoming: Come Out of Hiding to Live as Your God-Given Essential Self.
This amazing book is one of the best I’ve read to explain basic counseling concepts, and gives you practical exercises to work through as you try to get unstuck. Highly recommend!
Things Mentioned
Check out Sheila's books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
It’s a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move forward. If you’ve been confused by terms like trauma, attachment theory, the Stone Age brain, and more, Dr. Merry Lin joins us for a primer that can help us get unstuck—and rebecome who we were meant to be!
TO SUPPORT US
HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!
About Dr. Merry Lin:
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now? Can we actually grow “holier”? A beautiful conversation with Karen Stiller, author of the book Holiness Here. We tackle envy, joy, contentment—and even grief, as she shares about processing the death of her husband.
TO SUPPORT US
HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!
ABOUT KAREN
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
Check out Sheila's books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don’t think purity culture was harmful; and so much more! And we throw data and nuance into the mix too.
HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!
OUR SPONSOR
It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
TO SUPPORT US
LINKS
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what if these marriage books were giving advice that mirrored coercive control?
Bare Marriage podcast, episode 246, featuring Bethany Jantzi. Bethany did her thesis on coercive control, and today she shows us how these books use methods like: diminishing/devaluing personhood; undermining autonomy; creating psychological dependency; using a fear-based system of control; suppressing critical thinking; and conditioning compliance. And all of those things factor into abuse rates and coercive control. And we can do better than this!
OUR SPONSOR:
It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
TO SUPPORT US:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
FIND BETHANY:
Free From Control on Instagram
Bethany's website: Free From Control
THINGS MENTIONED:
How God Sees Women by Terran Williams
Marg Mowczko on Bible Interpretations
Our Series on the Danvers Statement
Timestamps
0.11 Intro
11.30 Complimentarianism
18.24 God Knows Best
31.50 Control and Domination
40.10 Wife as a Training Ground
59.30 Are We Under Undue Influence
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings and I sit down to talk about the problems with this book that tells women they must obey their husbands and submit—no matter what.
Our Sponsor:
It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
About Tia Levings:
About Marissa Burt:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from Gothard and more. It made her sick. It made her hopeless. But finally she realized, no one else is going to rescue us. I have to do this for me and the kids. And she did. Her story is riveting, touching, and relevant. Listen to a Well-Trained Wife!
Our Sponsor:
It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
To Support Us:
About Tia Levings:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out!
With thanks to our sponsor:
If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book Hurt and Healed by the Church
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to talk about his new book Ministers of Propaganda, and to look at how many evangelical leaders have used logical fallacies to keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Plus let's look at how to get back to the way of Jesus!
With thanks to our sponsor:
If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book Hurt and Healed by the Church
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his father’s sexual abuse of others—and how Ryan eventually learned the truth and turned his father in. And then Ryan deconstructed so much of what he had been taught—and found the real Jesus. Join us as Ryan George talks about his book Hurt and Healed by the Church.
About Ryan's Book
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry? You grow up under Christian patriarchy, and you experience serious emotional abuse. Today Cait West joins us to talk about her absolutely beautiful memoir Rift, about how and why she had to break free. Then Keith and I talk about why people are deconstructing, and why it’s so desperately important to listen to stories like Cait’s.
About Cait West:
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Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often those who have been hurt the most by toxic teachings. Today Sarah McCammon joins us to talk about who are “ex-vangelicals”, and her own story of deconstruction. And then Keith and I talk about what it means to create a safe and just community that honors people’s fears, betrayals, and concerns.
About Sarah McCammon:
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in this Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus?
A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and why it's so problematic. We can do better, church!
Get our Downloadable One Sheet of the problems with the book Lies Young Women Believe:
Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman
And listen to our interview with Sam about the book!
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Things Mentioned in this Podcast:
About Johnna Harris
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we rewrite Harrison Butker’s commencement speech!
Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman
And listen to our interview with Sam about the book!
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in this Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got.
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman: https://amzn.to/4aRrShp
Find Sam on Instagram
The Boost Your Libido Course: https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/
All about New River Fellowship Church:
Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture.
To Support Us:
Things mentioned in the podcast:
All about New River Fellowship Church
Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All!
Whether you're a pastors' wife, or a female pastor yourself, living life in a fishbowl can be hard. We talk about parenting, marriage, and finding friends when you're in church ministry.
Things mentioned in the Podcast:
Pastors’ Wives Tell All: Pre-order Here
Get Your Preorder Bonuses
Find out everything that’s happening at their website
Follow Pastors’ Wives Tell All on Instagram
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better.
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About Zachary Wagner:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).
But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?
Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realized something was wrong and came out of it.
(Also: at the beginning I quoted a Bible passage and said Matthew 18. I meant Matthew 15. Sorry!)
Our Sponsor:
The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.
View a sample of the Bible here!
To Support Us:
About Lauren Rose and Called to Peace:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"
Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too!
Our Sponsor:
The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.
To Support Us:
The Products We Mentioned:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.
Our Sponsor:
The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.
To Support Us:
About Jay Stringer:
Links We Mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.
Our Sponsor:
The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.
View a sample of the Bible here!
To Support Us:
Links We Mentioned:
Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.
To Support Us:
Links We Mentioned:
Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Resources about the Biblical Argument for Equality:
Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and S
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! We'll have blackout poetry crafts and other paper crafts to do with toxic books (bring them along!), a silent auction, a Q&A, and more. March 23, 2:30 - 5:00 pm. All welcome.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling?
Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulated. One is a woman who has written prolifically for them, and when you look at her articles and what she reveals about her relationship, a TON of red flags are present. The other is a woman whose husband was jailed for domestic violence, but then she prayed, he repented, and now they lead Love & Respect seminars together. And Focus on the Family thinks this is a positive message.
Today Sheila Gregoire is joined by her husband Keith and by abuse educator Sarah McDugal.
To Support Us:
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
Find Sarah McDugal:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a Jesus who understands and sympathizes with our struggles.
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
To Support Us:
Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe, looking at the problems with the book
Other Things We Talked About:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women’s bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It’s scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe.
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe:
Natalie Hoffman's Information:
Natalie’s Podcast Flying Free, and her website
Natalie Hoffman’s book Is It Me: Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage
Gretchen Baskerville's Information:
Gretchen Baskerville’s site The Lifesaving Divorce:
Gretchen Baskerville’s YouTube channel:
Gretchen’s book The Lifesaving Divorce
Other Resources
Our podcast on The Power of a Praying Wife (featuring Gretchen):
Our podcast telling Natalie’s story:
Our book She Deserves Better, which deals with Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book Lies Young Women Believe:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
First, support us!
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
Check out our Merch!
Our Resources
Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails
The Orgasm Course (there’s also an add-on for husbands)
She Deserves Better book
The Studies We Looked At:
Time Use and Feelings of Love
“Women Get Worse Sex: A Confound in the Explanation of Gender Differences in Sexuality
“Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective”
“Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Desire”,
How to Understand Statistics Podcast (and how statistics can be misused):
Want to be part of our research team?
If you're a grad student, prof, or other academic, check out our job opportunities to help with peer reviewed research papers:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits
Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/
Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/
Gary’s article “Young Husband: It Might Not be Her; It Might be Her Situation” https://garythomas.com/2017/06/29/young-husband-might-not-might-situation/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits
Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/
Emerson Eggerichs’ reel where he talks about relationships https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxL4Lm6pDo7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Our summary of the issues with Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/summary-problems-love-and-respect-emerson-eggerichs/
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/
(All of our other posts are linked there)
Our podcast looking at the way he downplayed abuse in a sermon series at Houston First Baptist Church https://baremarriage.com/2021/03/podcast-on-emerson-eggerichs-gaslighting-emotional-abuse-victims-and-stop-seeing-women-as-dangerous/
Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect
https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/emerson-eggerichs-twists-scripture-love-respect/
The problems with hierarchy in marriage (Keith’s Danvers statement series) https://baremarriage.com/2023/06/danvers-statement-series-complementarian-problem-1-men-dominating-their-wives/
Check out Andrew Bauman’s Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma: https://christiancc.org/
Andrew J. Bauman’s website https://andrewjbauman.com, or follow him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewJamesBauman
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Partner with us at Good Fruit Faith, an initiative of the Bosko Foundation, as we help impact future church leaders with our data and our message (tax receiptable within the U.S.): https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Find Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer’s book Pivot: https://amzn.to/3ToOKiV, along with their first book together A Church Called Tov: https://amzn.to/41nRsrd
Our first podcast together about their book A Church Called Tov: https://baremarriage.com/2021/04/podcast-a-church-called-tov-and-matthew-18/
Find Scot McKnight’s New Testament bible study series: https://amzn.to/46Zc5uW
Laura Barringer on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@lauraebarringer
Scot McKnight on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@scotandkris
Me on Threads! https://www.threads.net/@sheilagregoire
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Our marriage survey is still open! We’re looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grim
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Help us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERE
Laura Anderson’s book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0Zhs
Find Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/
Our Merch: order before December 10 to use it as Christmas gifts! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/
Our book She Deserves Better, outlining some of the trauma messages teen girls receive, and our book The Great Sex Rescue, outlining vaginismus as a potential trauma response
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Things mentioned in this podcast:
Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential): https://baremarriage.com/grim
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Join our email list and get Rebecca’s awesome Friday emails as well as a roundup of our best posts and podcasts: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
Sarah’s Wilderness to Wild program: https://wildernesstowild.com
No Eden Elsewhere blog talking about small group abuse at Watermark Church: https://noedenelsewhere.com/the-aftermath-stories-from-former-watermark-church-members/
Dee Parsons from The Wartburg Watch on why you shouldn’t sign a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/2023/09/11/smart-christians-need-to-think-carefully-before-joining-a-church-with-a-membership-covenant-which-is-a-legal-contract/ and how to resign from a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/
Our podcast with Naghmeh Panahi: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/naghmeh-panahi-bullied-leaving-abusive-marriage-podcast/
Biblical Counseling post on 98 ways you can sign against your husband: https://baremarriage.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/
The consent form you sign for biblical counseling: https://baremarriage.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/
John MacArthur Sermon Clip: https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/70-54/bible-questions-and-answers-part-77
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Take our marriage survey! We’re looking for couples to fill out our marriage survey: https://baremarriage.com/grim
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work, while getting access to our awesome Facebook community! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Our Merch makes great Christmas gifts! Order before December 11 to guarantee delivery by Christmas: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/
Andrew Whitehead’s book American Idolatry: https://amzn.to/3SubmhI, and Andrew Whitehead’s book with Sam Perry, Taking Back America for God https://amzn.to/3FU84Ne
Join Andrew’s substack! https://andrewwhitehead.substack.com/
Follow Andrew on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ndrewwhitehead/
Listen to Andrew’s 4 part series on Christian nationalism: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/american-idols/id1706355168
Our book (co-authored with Joanan Sawatsky) The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential):
https://baremarriage.com/grim/
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The article where you can find the Elisabeth Elliot quote on the essence of femininity: https://www.crossway.org/articles/the-essence-of-femininity/
Holly Furtick’s reel on being grumpy: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtnHKVJOOOI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Holly Furtick’s reel on not fussing and just praying:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cm1oSdNBGB3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
The study on why sweating the small stuff is important:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18361676/
Get help for religious OCD at NOCD.com -- Licensed therapists using evidence-based techniques.
https://nocd.com
John Gottman’s book The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work:
https://amzn.to/3Mxzc8h
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Lisa Weaver Swartz’ book Stained Glass Ceilings: https://amzn.to/3suzUfJ
A write-up of the amicus brief submitted on behalf of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to deny victims the right to sue the organizations that failed to report and failed to protect: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2023/10/27/southern-baptists-response-to-sex-abuse-in-kentucky/71343874007/
Our book She Deserves Better: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
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Sign up for our email list to hear about when our next study is out! http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
The study that people say claim 75% of women divorce for lack of commitment (it doesn't really say that): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/
The study on how men are six times more likely to leave when one spouse is diagnosed with a life-altering disease: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/
She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes in the Sink: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288 Plus Matthew Fray's book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: https://amzn.to/45PSM6w
Caylee Cresta's Instagram channel about mental load and taking out the trash: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrQx8-sMKL9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Check out our Boost Your Libido Course https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/ and our Orgasm course: https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/
Check out our books The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/
Check out The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
The study that found that women do more housework the more they out-earn their husbands: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3028208/
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our amazing Facebook group and unfiltered Sheila & Rebecca!
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Christa Hardin's new book The Enneagram in Marriage:
https://amzn.to/3SmZyxR
Christa's podcast The Enneagram and Marriage:
https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/pod
Christa on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/
The study we analyzed:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.12863
Our new Biblical Manhood Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/
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Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon group for as little as $5 a month and be part of the most amazing place on the internet: https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Join our email list so that you'll be notified when I'm in your area--and so you don't miss any of Rebecca's amazing round-ups: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
Kristin Kobes Du Mez' Twitter thread: https://twitter.com/kkdumez/status/1709746160120795295
Josh Howerton's sermon where the clip came from: https://subspla.sh/c7tmk53 (starting around timestamp 12:30)
Last week's podcast with Terran Williams on changing his mind and the impact on his family: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/terran-williams-sets-out-to-prove-complementarianism/
Tim Little's bio at Faith Baptist Theological Seminary: https://faith.edu/faculty/dr-tim-little/
Gary Thomas' article where he misunderstands modern neuroscience: https://garythomasbooks.substack.com/p/every-mans-battle-yes-and-every-womans
Our podcast where Rebecca and Connor go over the meta-analysis on the differences between male and female brains: https://baremarriage.com/2021/09/pink-brains-blue-brains-gender-differences-neuroscience-podcast/ And the 2019 meta-analysis that we quoted from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6681749/ and the 2021 meta-analysis: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804
Rachel Joy Welcher's review of Shannon Harris' memoir in Christianity Today: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2023/september-web-only/shannon-harris-woman-they-wanted-memoir-purity-culture.html
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Links to things mentioned:
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Terran Williams’ Book How God Sees Women: https://amzn.to/3PJjwQ2
Terran’s book What’s So Amazing About Scripture: https://amzn.to/3ROMSiZ
Terran’s series on Mike Winger’s videos on complementarianism/egalitarianism: https://terranwilliams.com/what-winger-presently-gets-wrong-egalitarian-silver-bullet-galatians-328/ (all of his articles are linked at the bottom of this one)
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Links to things mentioned:
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https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/be-a-biblical-woman-collection/
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/
Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit–to help talk to your pastor, small group leader, women’s ministry leader, or anybody about the issues with the obligation sex message (it’s Pay-What-You-Can):
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/great-sex-rescue-toolkit/
Our Obligation Sex Series that has run all month:
https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/10-things-obligation-sex/
Our 4-Step Plan to Rebuild after Obligation Sex:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/
10 Questions to Ask if Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex:
https://baremarriage.com/2020/09/10-questions-for-husbands-to-ask-if-your-wife-doesnt-want-sex/
The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex–to help men especially get a more biblical, intimate view of what sex is supposed to be:
https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/
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Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and support our research, plus hear me working through future posts and wondering what I should do next! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Our summary of all the issues in this podcast, plus a downloadable one sheet! https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/review-of-the-problems-with-for-women-only-by-shaunti-feldhahn-with-download/
Our post that does a deep dive in the problematic survey questions that Shaunti Feldhahn asks:
Find Meghan Tschanz’s podcast series on For Women Only: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-2/id1438368947?i=1000626549865
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-3/id1438368947?i=1000627185380
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-4/id1438368947?i=1000628046603
Follow Meghan on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/meghantschanz/
Devi Abraham’s podcast Where Do We Go From Here, including my latest episode with her!
https://open.spotify.com/episode/18eiTmiHvMimq3Oog80lq1
Follow Devi on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/devi_writes/, and the Where Do We Go From Here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wheredowegopod/
We take apart the “love and respect survey question at the end of this podcast:
https://baremarriage.com/2020/12/unconditional-respect-in-marriage-is-wrong-podcast/
Our book The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on MAJOR SALE in paperback on Amazon right now!
Our podcast with Meghan Tschanz about her bo
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Links to things mentioned:
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Our op ed with Baptist News that goes over the points in this podcast: https://baptistnews.com/article/do-complementarian-men-do-better-a-response-to-nancy-pearcey/
Our initial article responding to Josh Howerton's claim that conservative evangelicals have the best sex and marriages
Our podcast going over these same points (for those who would rather listen!):
Leonardo Cruz' critique of how Nancy Pearcey handled history scholars https://leo-cruz.medium.com/nancy-pearcey-pt1-44f98c2a3602
Our book The Great Sex Rescue, based on our survey of 20,000 women https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
The IFS report that showed that conservative highly religious men were far more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence (p. 36):
https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/worldfamilymap-2019-051819.pdf
The book The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind
Check out our Biblical Manhood merch!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Sign up for our FREE webinar with Wendy from Fresh Start Family: September 14 at 1 pm EST (recording will be available): https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/baremarriage/
Check out last year's podcasts with Wendy: Part 1 and Part 2
https://baremarriage.com/2022/05/podcast-how-to-misuse-statistics-for-dummies/
Find Wendy on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/freshstartwendy/
Join our AMAZING Patreon group--we're launching our book study in our Patreon community this month as a test run! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Check out our Limited Edition Merch--it goes away the end of August! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/
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Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon! Join for as little as $5 a month and support our research while getting access to our awesome Facebook group!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Our Limited Edition Merch--it's only available until the end of the month! Check out these great beach towels:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/
And don't forget our Biblical Womanhood merch that's available year-round:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/be-a-biblical-woman-collection/
The Instagram Reel on Ken vs. Allan:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvNIHFxN86G/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
The Atlantic: The real reason South Korean women aren't having babies: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/03/south-korea-fertility-rate-misogyny-feminism/673435/
The New York Times: Women in South Korea are on Strike Against Being Baby-Making Machines https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/27/opinion/south-korea-fertility-rate-feminism.html
Carolyn Custis James' book Malestrom https://amzn.to/47HWqSh
Information on the Bechdel Test: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and join our LIVE Brio magazine pajama party! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Get our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit, to explain our findings to your friends: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/great-sex-rescue-toolkit/
See our She Should Know merch, based on She Deserves Better: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/she-should-know-collection/
Check out our Limited Edition beach towels: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Our new book She Deserves Better:
https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group, and more. Join our Patreon!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Instagram Reel from 247 Marriage:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnetOgDhM1S/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
The podcast where we discussed "Girls Talk Too Much":
https://baremarriage.com/2023/03/do-women-talk-more-than-men-podcast/
The podcast where we were talking about how boys had to be superheroes:
https://baremarriage.com/2023/04/podcast-on-nice-guy-syndrome-and-boundaries/
If you're going to pull something out of your butt, it's probably crap merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/out-your-butt/
Anti-Rape Raccoon Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/rabid-racoon/
Other Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/
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THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
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Things mentioned in our Podcast!
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THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
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Should we kiss dating good-bye? In purity culture, we made dating a sin. But what does the data actually say about how dating affects teen girls? In today's Bare Marriage podcast, we share our findings from our survey of 7000 women!
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
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Today I want to tell you the story of an amazing woman who was the victim of her marriage AND her church that knew all the gory details, and yet chose to put her under discipline when she decided to end the marriage.
TRIGGER WARNING
In the first half of the podcast there is graphic descriptions of what her husband did to her. I did mention during the podcast when this was about to occur, so that people could fast forward if they chose to. But the description is horrendous. I wanted people to know what she was facing, and to understand her pastor knew this too.
NOTE ON NEURODIVERGENCE
Part of this woman’s story, she believes, is her husband’s lack of diagnosis for autism, which she believes contributed to his inability and unwillingness to see things from her perspective.
Plenty of autistic people are able to relate emotionally with their spouses, even if they do it in different ways. And they value connecting.
What is shared in this podcast is merely her story, and we understand that it is not the case with many neurodivergent people, who can have loving marriages.
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Our patreon community! Join for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, merch, and more!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bodies-behind-the-bus/id1601586078
and Johnna Harris' Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/bbtbpod/
Me as a guest on the Bodies Behind the Bus podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/guest-sheila-gregoire/id1601586078?i=1000555692110
Dr. Foluso's counseling practice
https://skillsetcounseling.com/
and Dr. Foluso's YouTube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@UC0ogPtE3KqsiLXngwEboM8A
Before you sign a church membership covenant:
https://noedenelsewhere.com/before-you-sign-what-you-need-to-know-about-membership-covenants/
How to resign from a membership covenant
http://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Great Sex Rescue:
https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
Our series on our 4 step recovery plan when sex has become a major issue:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/
One story on what recovery looks like:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/heres-what-recovery-from-sexual-problems-looks-like/
Article by Matthew Fray on Safety for Women:
https://matthewfray.com/2017/04/11/safety-and-trust-in-relationships-those-words-dont-mean-what-you-think-they-mean/
Article by XO Marriage on the Four Needs of a Man:
https://xomarriage.com/articles/the-four-major-needs-of-a-man/
Last week's podcast featuring Jay Stringer:
https://youtu.be/QWpfqtr7PK4
Our podcast looking at postpartum sexual favors:
https://baremarriage.com/2021/11/the-sexual-favors-postpartum-podcast-can-we-please-stop-being-selfish/
Nathaniel Jolly's take on rape (major trigger warning):
https://baremarriage.com/2022/08/rape-victims-deserve-life-nathaniel-jolly-preaches-death/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Great Sex Rescue:
https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted:
https://amzn.to/3DOvJgo
Jay’s website:
https://jay-stringer.com/
Jay’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/jay_stringer_/
Emily Nagoski’s book Come As You Are
https://amzn.to/3zYymvd
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The study on Who Cheats More: https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
The Dennis Prager Facebook Video: https://www.facebook.com/prageru/videos/868111834352628/
The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
The podcast with Alyssa Wakefield https://baremarriage.com/2022/06/groomed-for-an-abusive-arranged-marriage-alyssa-wakefields-story-podcast/
The podcast with Natalie Hoffman https://baremarriage.com/2022/09/podcast-how-christian-marriage-books-set-up-for-failure-with-natalie-hoffman/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Links to things mentioned:
Natalie’s Flying Free site, and Natalie’s awesome Facebook Page, Instagram, and YouTube channel. Plus listen in to her podcast!
Natalie’s book “Is It Me”?
The terrible books Natalie mentioned: Our post about Created To Be His Helpmeet; Julie Anne Smith’s review of The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
The book that helped Natalie: Leslie Vernick’s Emotionally Destructive Marriage
Patrick Weaver’s I Hate Divorce t-shirts
Patrick Weaver on the Malachi verse that is too often translated “God hates divorce”
My post on how marriage was made for us, not us for marriage
Support us on Patreon! Or check out our awesome merch!
Our Marriage Misdiagnosis series! My mental load series: With thanks to
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Should pastors be allowed to plagiarize in their sermons?
I’ll be frank: I think evangelicalism has a problem with celebrity, as we talked about on last week’s podcast. And I think plagiarism is part of that celebrity. It’s rampant among pastors and authors in evangelicalism, and it allows people to give a false sense of themselves to others to boost their status. It needs to stop.
Links to things mentioned:
Scot McKnight's book A Church Called TOV
Scot McKnight's New Testament Everyday Bible Study Series
Scot McKnight's previous podcast with us
Warren Throckmorton on Mark Driscoll's apparent plagiarism
David Dzimianski on Tim Keller's apparent plagiarism
Aaron New on Tim Clinton's history of Plagiarism
Christine Caine's plagiarism
Josh Howerton's Twitter Threads
Original Twitter Thread (long) about how plagiarism by pastors is fine
More recent Tweet about ethics of using someone's material without naming them if you disagree with them
Articles on Controversy with Josh Howerton and Andy Wood
Article Explaining Andy Wood controversy with Mark Driscoll
Andy Stanley's book The New Rules of Love, Sex and Dating
YouTube sermon where Andy Stanley goes over the central points of this book, which Josh Howerton seems to have used
(start at around 22:00)
Steven Furtick sermon with "two halves don't make a whole"
(start around 6:30)
Josh Howerton sermon where he says arguing with him is like arguing with God
(start around 12:20)
Note: The sermon we're referring to I originally saw because it was listed on this page. That sermon has since been removed. It is the only sermon from 2022 that can no longer be found on the Lakepointe Church site, on YouTube, and on their podcast archives. It was there a few weeks ago; it's now gone. I have no idea why, unless he got wind of what we were doing (some people did know, and there have been "breadcrumbs" in
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Evangelicalism has a problem with celebrity culture.
I mean, everyone has a problem with celebrity culture. But it can be worse in the church because we’re supposed to put Jesus front and centre, and too oten we’re protecting celebrity and ignoring the way of Christ.
Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to an awesome Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more. Or if you don’t want to support long term, considering leaving something in our tip jar!
Katelyn Beaty’s book Celebrities for Jesus! Plus find Katelyn on Twitter ! That’s where I got to know her.
Our evidence-based courses: The Orgasm Course and the Boost Your Libido course and the Honeymoon Prep Course!
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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One of the most frequent questions I’ve had since The Great Sex Rescue was published has been: “Have any of the authors responded to your critiques?”
People want to know–has anyone owned their mistakes and made changes?
And the quick answer is no.
I wanted to have a central place where I can show you what the authors who HAVE said something have said.
And I need to say something.
This is a personal podcast.
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Download our rubric and scorecard!
The blog post where I include links for everything I talked about, plus write out the email we sent to Gary Thomas
To Support Us:
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We’ve got some wonderful inspiring stories to share with you today–plus a new research study with implications for dating.
Today Rebecca and I tell you about two modern day heroes, plus two young women using the gifts God gave them to try to change their world!
Then we analyze that Psychology Today article we told you about–the rise of lonely, single men. Listen in!
Links to things mentioned:
Patreon
Our Whole Story Sex & Puberty course
An article about Chief Theresa Kachimondoto
The All the Books YouTube video
The Rise of Lonely, Single Men
Pew Research Study they cite
Study on loneliness in men
Our emotional maturity series
To Support Us:
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Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Time for another hero of the faith! Well, three, actually!
This month we’re telling amazing stories of women that God used in history to fight against injustice and show that God values women. This week Kristin Kobes Du Mez, the author of Jesus and John Wayne, joins us to talk about her biography of Katharine Bushnell.
Links to things mentioned:
The New Gospel for Women: Katharine Bushnell and the Challenge of Christian Feminism
On Purpose: Understanding God's Freedom for Women Through Scripture by Julie Zine Coleman
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Have you ever heard the name Josephine Butler?
If you were alive in London in 1880 you likely would have. In her time, she was as well-known as Florence Nightingale, but history has largely forgotten her.
Joanna and I sat down and read Josephine Butler: Patron Saint of Prostitutes, and discussed it today!
Links to things mentioned:
Josephine Butler, Patron Saint of Prostitutes (it's a great read for the summer!)
Join our Patreon and support the podcast transcription--and all the research we're doing!
Check out our merch!
If you haven't read The Great Sex Rescue yet, you need to. It seriously will change your life. And then buy it for a pastor or counselor you know!
To Support Us:
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Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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What if your wife has been taught toxic things about sex–and you don’t even realize it?
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book, that looks at how harmful some of these messages have been
Support our research by joining our Patreon group! Even for as little as $5 or $8 a month!
Our "Do All Men Struggle with Lust" podcast
Our open letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect (at the bottom of this post is links to all of the other things we've said about this book)
The study on complaining and maladaptive worry and status
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/
And his book The Sexually Healthy Man: https://amzn.to/3p4JmyF
Benjamin Young's Twitter Thread: https://twitter.com/BJYoung1990/status/1353521004073652224
Benjamin Young's ministry Guard the Gift: https://guardthegift.com/
The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/
Our Previous Podcast on Marital Rape and Consent: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/
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Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Links to things mentioned:
The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
4 Stages of Porn Recovery: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/
The Bell-curve Modesty Rule: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-look-at-christian-modesty-guidelines/
The Whole Story: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/
The Great Sex Rescue: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827
Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Unconditional respect isn’t a thing.
And yet we’re often told that men need unconditional respect, just like women need unconditional love.
Links to things mentioned:
Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall
Paul and Gender: Reclaiming the Apostle's Vision for Men and Women in Christ
The Great Sex Rescue
Psychology Today article
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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We wrap up what can cause women’s libidos to plummet–and what men can do about it!
Because it isn’t always men’s fault (in fact, it’s often not). But guys can still be a big part of the solution. And if libido differences are a huge issue in your marriage, it doesn’t mean that there’s nothing that can be done.
Asking the hard questions can really help!
Links to things Mentioned in This Podcast:
The Great Sex Rescue
Our totally revamped Boost Your Libido course
Elora Dodd on Instagram , plus her Reel on Men’s Purity books and Women’s Purity Books
Our What’s Killing Women’s Libido series
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Recently John Piper had a podcast telling a woman how to deal with a “harsh” husband.
It was atrocious advice–especially since women in emotionally abusive relationships would listen to this advice and think that it pertained to them (since most women in abusive relationships would describe their husbands as harsh).
Links to things mentioned:
John Piper article on harsh husbands
Our original Facebook Live (expanded content from this podcast, extra 13 minutes on end)
Our article talking about John Piper and harsh husbands
Dr. Alison Cook on Turning the Other Cheek
Sign up for our emails!
Our Merch!
Gretchen Baskerville on the effect of divorce on kids if husbands are abusive
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Let’s face the fact that fundamentalist Christianity in North America is basically a sex cult.
That’s Alyssa Wakefield’s conclusion in Part 2 of her story on the Bare Marriage podcast!
Links to things mentioned:
Part 1 of Alyssa's story
Wendy Snyder's FREE Parenting Workshop Registration
TraumaMAMAS app
Sarah McDugal:
Instagram
Facebook
Natalie Hoffman's book Is It Me?
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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What if you grow up in what you now call a sex cult, and you marry because your dad told you to?
Did you really consent to that marriage? And how does it even happen in North America today that girls are being pushed into arranged marriages?
Today's podcast sounds more like one of those True Crime documentaries.
Links to things mentioned:
Our podcast on the Gothard movement with Emily Elizabeth Anderson
Our podcast on positive parenting with Wendy Snyder
Register for our free webinar with Wendy!
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Have we made sex–and marriage–into a “Yes Space” for men?
And if so, how does this affect libido?
Links to things mentioned:
The Orgasm Course
Podcast where we talked about postpartum sex
Review of Married Sex
Mental Load Podcast
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Can we have a nuanced discussion about porn and the likelihood of recovery?
One of our goals for what we do is to help people have “informed consent”–in other words, before they make a decision, they need to know all the facts. We can’t be afraid of data and evidence.
Links to things mentioned:
Find Sarah!
Trauma Mamas App
Sarah's full Noticing vs. Lusting video
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
How do our attachment styles–or love styles–affect our marriage?
So often we think that our marriage problems are about communication, or habits, or normal conflicts. But what if they’re rooted in how we learned to connect with people?
Links to things mentioned:
Yerkovich's Website
How We Love
The Orgasm Course
Our Post on the 5 Love Styles
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if discipline and spanking aren’t synonyms?
What if there was a much more effective way of disciplining your kids where you connect with their heart and it actually BUILDS your relationship?
Links to things mentioned:
Fresh Start Family Podcast
Episode 122
Episode 123
Wendy's site
Discipline Class
Strong Willed Kids help
Logical Discipline Planning Guide
Jesus the Gentle Parent
Heartfelt Discipline
The Mask You Live in Documentary
The Whole Story Puberty and Sex Course
Angry Me by Sandra Feder
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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In the last of our three podcasts with Joanna where we talk stats, we tackle a few more ways that research is often handled poorly, using the research around spanking as one example.
And then we bring on Wendy Snyder from Fresh Start Families to talk about how to use discipline that connects with your child!
Links to things mentioned:
Find Wendy!
Our articles on Spanking Babies and the research on spanking
The Gershoff Meta-Analyses of Spanking
The problems with the book Love & Respect
The problems with how Focus on the Family talks about divorce and kids
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Attachment research is the science of how we relate to others. We can all have different attachment styles, based on whether we’ve got insecure attachment or secure attachment with our primary caregivers or loved ones (or even God!)
Links to things mentioned:
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
Attachment Theory in Religion, Current Opinions in Psychology (2021)
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Last month Josh Howerton, lead pastor at Lakepointe Church in Dallas, wrote a Twitter thread sharing research with 5 reasons Christians are doing better than the media gives us credit for. Matt Chandler, head of The Acts29 Network and lead pastor at The Village Church, retweeted it.
The problem? The research he uses doesn’t say what he says it says.
Links to things mentioned:
Josh Howerton's article
The Institute for Family Studies report that he references
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
The Gilad study that found that religious women had difficulties with domestic violence
The Life Saving Divorce analyzing what the Institute for Family Studies found about religiosity and abuse
The Whole Story Sex and Puberty course for parents and preteens
To Support Us:
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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We misunderstand women in the Bible–and we misunderstand gender aspects of research!
Links to things mentioned:
Mary DeMuth
The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible
Our podcast on the problems with the original Love & Respect question:
The podcast with the problems with For Young Women Only’s question on 82% of boys going too far, and our post fixing that question
The Podcast exploring the problems with misusing neuroscience research
The Great Sex Rescue
Here is the link with Knix.com
To Support Us:
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Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Today Emily Elizabeth Anderson from Thriving Forward joins us to tell her story, and to tell what she’s passionate about now. And especially how she found the actual Jesus after she left what she now sees as a cult.
Links to things mentioned:
Emily's blog Thriving Forward
Emily on Facebook
Stories about the lawsuit against Bill Gothard:
New charges allege religious leader, who has ties to the Duggars, sexually abused women
Where’s Justice For Bill Gothard and IBLP’s Victims?
Knix.com and Knix.ca
To Support Us:
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We talked about the findings from our survey, as described in this post last week on how many Christian guys are sexually safe.
Links to things mentioned:
Keith's post
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Rebecca noticed that in Focus on the Family’s PluggedIn movie review for Turning Red, they had put references to menstruation under “sexual content”, including cramps and pads. And they warned that some people may hear an “echo of menstruation” in the title of the film.
Links to things mentioned:
Side by side screenshot of original review and edited review
Current review of Turning Red
The Whole Story Puberty Course
Our Period Series
Kyle Howard on Twitter
To Support Us:
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Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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We saved some of our most important findings from our men’s survey for this special podcast!
Andrew Bauman, a licensed counselor and author of the new book How Not to Be an *ss, and Carl Thomas, who runs xxxchurch.com, come on to talk about our new stats. And then Keith and I tackled two reader questions about libido issues!
Links to things mentioned:
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Our patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook Group
Andrew Bauman
Carl Thomas
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Does waiting for marriage really guarantee a great sex life? Sheila, Rebecca, and Keith weigh in on this week's podcast!
Links to things mentioned:
Our patreon! Suport us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook Group
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and the all new Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
The podcast on the Sexual Response Cycle
This week's post on vaginismus and wedding night sex
Here is the link with Knix.com
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
It’s the one year anniversary since The Great Sex Rescue was published!
Rebecca and I want to talk about what we’ve rescued and how it’s been rescued–plus Elizabeth Fisher Good joins us to talk about fighting sex trafficking.
Links to things mentioned:
Please use these affiliate links if you're interested in trying Knix!
Knix.com
Elizabeth Fisher Good
The Great Sex Rescue
Articles this week about men and how the teachings affected them:
How Can Men Fix Their Sex Lives if They've Gone Downhill
Who Believed the Toxic Sex Teachings More: Husband or Wife?
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Because our church culture teaches guys that they need sex the way newborn babies need to be fed in the middle of the night or the way an invalid needs water brought to them, men often don’t realize that they are being the selfish ones. They’re taught this is an absolute need they have, a life and death need, and so if she doesn’t want sex, that must mean she’s being selfish.
Links to things mentioned:
When Shame Gets Real by Carl Thomas
XXX Church
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Special thank you to our guest Patrick Weaver for joining us today! We look forward to having him on the podcast again in the future!
Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and help us get our research into peer reviewed journals. Plus you can join our rocking Facebook group and get unfiltered podcasts!
The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex
Our original birth control series plus the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility
Patrick Weaver’s Facebook Page and his Instagram
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Too many people don’t understand the sexual response cycle–so let’s spell it out and figure out why this lack of info has become so prevalent in evangelicalism!
Links to things mentioned:
The Intimately Us app!
The podcast where we dissected Emerson Eggerichs’ reply to the woman crying in the shower; and the podcast where the woman crying in the shower responds
The Dunning Kruger Effect: Article 1 and Article 2
The Good Guy’s and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
The 990 Tax Forms for Emerson Eggerichs’ non-profit for 2019
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We are so honoured to have on the podcast today the woman who wrote that letter we discussed back in episode 129. She joins us to share her story, give some updates, and shed some light on what toxic teachings in practice actually resulted in.
Links to things mentioned:
The Intimately Us App! Download the free version right now–and there are special sexy challenges for Valentine’s Day!
CT Article about Domestic Violence in Brazil
Podcast about Emerson Eggerichs
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
At what point do we realize that something is terribly off with the way the evangelical church sees women?
Keith talks about his manifesto from yesterday and encourages men to see what is happening and jump out of the boiling water.
Links to things mentioned:
Research study about remarriage after divorce
Great Sex Rescue
Keith's article on the boiling water
Owen Strachan's tweet
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Should you stay in such a church? Some people should, because the church is changing, and you feel called to be a “missionary” of sorts there. But maybe more should leave. I know I stayed too long, and Rebecca shares some passionate thoughts about her opinion on going to a church “because it has a good kids’ program” or “because it has a good youth program.”
Links to things mentioned:
Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
Download our scorecard and rubric for how we scored the books
Ngina Otiende's blog, Intentional Today
My post about Christopher
The Great Sex Rescue
Lucy Maud Montgomery’s short story The Strike at Putney
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Welcome to a new year with the Bare Marriage podcast! We're glad you're joining us again after our break for the holidays!
Links to things mentioned:
Scott Coley Tweet
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today on the podcast we hear Rachel Perry’s story of vaginismus, and then I get cozy in my yellow chair where I work and just tell you how I see the Christmas story interacting with our own (and yours!).
Links to things mentioned:
The Emotional Journey with Vaginismus
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Ever noticed that most marriage books center the majority of their advice on women?
And most instructions for how to get marriages to change focus on what women can do differently.
Links to things mentioned:
Our sponsor Femallay!
Become a patreon and support us for as little as $5 a month!
Our New Merch! Check out all of our merch, and our Be a Biblical Woman collection
Nicole Parker's Tales of Exodus book series
The Great Sex Rescue
Our Mental Load and Emotional Labor series
How Christian Resources teach women to be passive aggressive
Barbara Rainey's article on spiritual leadership
Our FREE Video Book Study for The Great Sex Rescue
Dora on TikTok about raising orphans
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
How do we live our feelings through our bodies? How do we learn to inhabit our bodies more? Join us as Rebecca and I jumpstart this series, and then Keith and I get all scientific about arousal non-concordance and mindfulness!
Links to things mentioned:
Our wonderful sponsor Femallay. Check out their vaginal melts, and their innovative menstrual cups that allow you to empty them while they're still inserted.
The Great Sex Rescue!
The Orgasm Course
Post on Arousal Non-Accordance
And be sure to sign up for our Tea and Tent Pegs webinar that goes live December 6!
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Rebecca’s postpartum! So we thought it was the perfect time to look at the postpartum advice given in evangelical circles to women.
Links to things mentioned:
Our wonderful sponsor Femallay. Check out their vaginal melts, and their innovative menstrual cups that allow you to empty them while they're still inserted.
The Great Sex Rescue! Especially chapter 11 where we talk about postpartum sex and the advice given to women
The Italian study Keith and I referenced
The Facebook post where women shared their stories
Our previous posts on postpartum sexual favors and the podcast Rebecca and Joanna did about resuming sex postpartum
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
The amazing Beth Allison Barr is joining me today to talk about women and the history of the church.
It seems like people who buy The Great Sex Rescue really like Beth’s book–and they really like Kristin Kobes Du Mez’s book too (and she was on the podcast earlier this year!).
Links to things mentioned:
Link to the Webinar with Sheila, Kristin, and Beth!
The Making of Biblical Womanhood
L. M. M. story mentioned
Check out our sponsor, Femallay!
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We’ve got two different segments on today’s podcast, both regarding what it means to make your own way as a couple:
Another look at how to read science–and what it SHOULDN’T be used for
and a visit with Stephanie and Dan Holmes, the hosts of the Neurodivergent Christian Marriages podcast!
Links to things mentioned here:
Dan and Stephanie's podcast
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if the reason authors can’t give up the obligation sex message is that they fear women won’t have sex otherwise?
Links to things mentioned:
Femallay! We love what they're doing to help women experience more pleasure and more comfort in our own bodies. Please check them out.
The Great Sex Rescue!
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex!
Amie Latta's counseling and coaching practice
Our podcast where we talked about neuroscience research
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We try to show how men and women may approach sex information differently.
And how there’s a serious creepy factor for many women that we all need to understand a little bit better!
Thanks to our sponsor Femallay! Check out their vaginal melts, and my post on how your vagina changes as you age
The Great Sex Rescue–Chapters 5 and 6 cover the lust issue and porn issue, and try to do so in a non-shaming way, focused on actual research
Our Sexy Dares
The Intimately Us App
Our Orgasm Course
Keith’s post on sexually confident men
Our podcast with Marc Alan Schelske about emotional maturity
Andrew Bauman’s post about the pornographic style of relating
Today's Blog Post
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We are thrilled to have a wonderful guest joining us this week! We hope you enjoy Sheila's conversation with author Gretchen Baskerville, as they discuss some extremely important points we need to include in our conversations around divorce in the Christian church.
Links to things mentioned:
The blog post that goes along with this podcast
Gretchen Baskerville's Site
Gretchen's book The Lifesaving Divorce
Gretchen's article on the 12 Half Truths in Focus on the Family's Article about Divorce and Kids
Gretchen's Video on Love & Respect
My Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
Gretchen's Social Media:
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We have a VERY special guest joining later today! For the first time ever we have Sheila's mother, Elizabeth, here to share all her wisdom! We hope you enjoy today's episode all about boobs, and breast cancer awareness!
Links to things mentioned:
Link for breast self-exam
Married Sex on Amazon--many of the reviews refer to the breast problem
Femallay
Our puberty course The Whole Story
Post on Developing Bust Early
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
For this special edition of the Bare Marriage Podcast we created an episode that you can listen to WITH your teenagers! Rebecca and Connor walk through their own 'Sex-Ed' experiences, and discuss how they plan to talk to their own children about sex and sexual health one day.
We hope this episode can be a great jumping off point for important parent/teenager conversations that may happen throughout these teen years, to help you equip your children in making wise decisions as they go through high school.
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today it's Rebecca and Connor coming to you, to discuss some neuropsychology! We know, it's a lot, but bare with us! We hope you enjoy this ramble through some statistical and psychological studies that can give us all a clearer picture on how we should be talking about the differences between men and women's brains.
Links to things mentioned:
Check out Femallay's products
2021 Meta-analysis of gender differences in the brain
2019 Meta-analysis of gender differences in neural responses to sexual stimuli
Critiques of Brizendine's work that have been available for over 10 years
Nature Article on the Female Brain
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Many of you have asked for a step by step guide to clarify how to gauge whether a book is harmful or helpful. So today, we thought we'd do just that, and help walk everyone through the process we use when critiquing Christian resources we see being used today.
We'd also like to thank our guest Neil Schori for joining us today with such a wonderful discussion on how to talk to pastors about the harm found in resources. We can't wait to have him back on the podcast again soon!
Links to things mentioned:
Sign up for our email list!
Our big post on the two tests for whether or not a speaker or resource is safe
The Great Sex Rescue
Find Neil Schori on Twitter, and join his Facebook Page for his spiritual direction and domestic violence prevention ministry
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
Our Rubric for Healthy Sexuality Teaching--and our report of our findings from The Great Sex Rescue (you can download both at the same place)
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We are thrilled to bring you another weekly edition of the Bare Marriage podcast, with a special guest appearance by friend of the show Andrew Bauman for a short segment today. Please remember to read the blog post that accompanies this podcast for more context into the topics we discussed.
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Join our email list!
Andrew Bauman's website, his article on the pornographic style of relating, and his book The Psychology of Porn
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens--has information about betrayal trauma
Gary Thomas' article "My spouse can't cure me, but can help me"
2 Hour Facebook Live with betrayal trauma experts talking about the problems with the idea that more sex can help his porn addiction
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Thank you to our lovely guest Micah for joining us today! You can find her online here.
Links to other things mentioned:
On Elisabeth Elliot’s Terrible Courtship–and Dating Men “Sold Out for Jesus”
The Most Fun FREE Book Study Ever–The Great Sex Rescue! (with video)
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join us this week as we discuss the idea of how our expectations of marriage highly affect how we experience it-- and how expectations might not always be the problem! And thank you again to Bruce for joining us today for another deep dive into scripture!
Links to things mentioned:
Find more from Bruce on his website
Camden's article
Original study about health effects of churches where women aren't in leadership positions
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We have the guys back for today's 'Men's Edition' of the podcast!
And thank you to Michael John Cusick for joining us today for our Reader Question!
Links to things mentioned:
Michael John Cusick
Restoring the Soul Podcast
Our Direct Communication Series (check out the links at the bottom for all of the posts)
The Research on Cognitive Labor
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week we're bringing you something different. This 'unfiltered podcast' that aired with our Patrons in July was an episode that we ended up feeling was worth being shared on a larger scale. We hope you enjoy this honest, vulnerable look into Rebecca and Joanna's faith thought processes, and that it may spark some discussion for yourself.
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week's episode is ALL about communicating! Both with our spouses, and with our kids!
Links to things mentioned:
Brett Ullman's website where he collates amazing parenting stuff, plus his book Parenting: Navigating Everything
The Great Sex Rescue
Our Direct Communication Series: Why it's hard; what direct communication looks like; why it's not mean; why women struggle with it; why men struggle with it.
How to Eliminate Nagging for Good (from our Emotional Labor and Mental Load series)
Subscribe to our emails
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Aaaaand we're back! Thank you for all being gracious while we took a much needed one-month break in July.
Links to things mentioned:
Subscribe to the email list!
The Great Sex Rescue--and the package you can download to show to your church
Our definitive podcast on lust & modesty (because I didn't want to rehash everything when we talked about Modest is Hottest)
The Mars Hill podcast episode--The Things We Do to Women
Laura Robinson's Twitter Thread
The Jezebel Article about The Great Sex Rescue
Our article on Elisabeth Elliot and unhealthy dating relationships and the problem with Friendationships when you can't define the relationship
Can Christians use sex toys?
Our Churchianity vs. Christianity podcast
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Keith summarizes yesterday’s post on the slippery slope of believing in men’s hierarchy over women, and we address mental load and more.
Links to things mentioned:
Keith's post on the slippery slope of male-only leadership
The Emotional Labor and Mental Load Series, with a podcast describing the issue
The Let's Go to the Beach Revisited post
The Great Sex Rescue
Pastors: Preach what you practice! About how pastors often say that husbands should make the final decision, though that's not what they actually do.
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What fun episode this week! With our wonderful guest Dr Bethany Peterson joining us, we talk all things pelvic floor and how we as women can improve our lives dramatically with more information on this topic!
Links to things mentioned:
Bethany Peterson and Well-Core Physiotherapy. You can also find Bethany on Instagram.
Bethany's post on why we need to explore our pelvic floors
The FemFusion Guided Meditation for Pelvic Floor Relaxation video
The Great Sex Rescue--and our FREE Video Group Study that goes along with it
The 4 Main Causes of Vaginismus
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Jesus and John Wayne--order it this week!. And follow Kristin on Twitter like I do. She's awesome.
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue: A great companion to Jesus and John Wayne
Katie's awesome video and our awesome romance novels we made up, plus Katie's Instagram where you can see all the covers on her story highlights
Our podcast on feeling spiritually homeless
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Let’s talk expectations for childbirth, sex, orgasm, and more!
As you’ll hear from the two interviews we did, we were enjoying ourselves immensely talking about how to make different aspects of our lives awesome.
Links to things mentioned:
Jenn Riedy
'Intimately Us' app!
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Mark Gungor claims to be the #1 marriage teacher in the U.S. military, and I think it’s important to know what he is teaching.
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue, our new book that has upset everyone
The audio between Mark and Lexi. You can also read a transcript of the audio by Shannon Ashley, or a transcript with abuse tactics analysis by Sarah McDugal.
My article about the audio, and how I felt
The video we analyzed: The Sex/Love portion of A Tale of Two Brains and The Difference Between Men's Brains and Women's Brains. In this clip Mark Gungor also refers to women as "chicks." (around the 10 minute mark and then again afterwards). (This clip was actually sent to me two years ago, before I even really looked into him, because someone was concerned about the derogatory way he referred to women).
Our emotional labor/mental load series
The podcast where we looked at the problems with Shaunti Feldhahn's research that Emerson Eggerichs used to claim that men need respect while women need love.
The survey question where Shaunti Feldhahn claimed that 82% of boys feel little ability or little responsibility to stop in a makeout situation
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We have a fantastic guest joining us today! With real experience on the mission field, Meghan Tschanz is in a great position to share her thoughts and add her voice to this conversation. Thank you for joining us and listening in today, and thank you again to Meghan for being on our podcast!
Things Mentioned in This Podcast:
Meghan Tschanz's book Woman Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice
The study about Calvinist/complementarian beliefs and their correlation with domestic violence myths
The Twitter thread by Branden Henry talking about books and research
The article Meghan mentioned by Lyn Yonack about power and sexual abuse
The Wipe Every Tear charity
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We made it to 100 episodes! Thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us, whether from day one or last week, we SO appreciate you being here! And thank you to all those who sent in messages for us to listen to in this episode!
Links to things mentioned:
Great Sex Rescue!
Michael John Cusick's Site, his book Surfing for God, and his Restoring the Soul podcast
Tim Keller's Twitter Thread
Focus on the Family article about consent
The Honeymoon Course
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Thank you to our WONDERFUL guests this week! We have 3 different people joining in on the discussions today!
Links to things mentioned:
Timothy Thomas' articles, Part 1 and Part 2
Bruce C.E. Fleming's Eden podcast and Book of Eden book. The podcast walks through many of the Genesis verses regarding gender and shows us a beautiful picture of wholeness and freedom
Shannon Ashley's article about our interaction with Mark Gungor
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Here we are with another 'Start Your Engines' edition of the podcast! Join Keith and Sheila as they discuss some strange things your wife might believe about sex, and Rebecca and Sheila as they break down an interesting perspective on how the men's lust message can mess up women too!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book, that looks at how harmful some of these messages have been
Support our research by joining our Patreon group! Even for as little as $5 or $8 a month!
Our "Do All Men Struggle with Lust" podcast
Our open letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect (at the bottom of this post is links to all of the other things we've said about this book)
The study on complaining and maladaptive worry and status
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We've been going back in time on the blog and looking at how different eras viewed sex, so this week on the podcast we're bringing more of that conversation! Listen in as Sheila, Connor, and Rebecca break down what led to the sexual revolution and how the church responded to it at the time.
Links to things mentioned:
Come support our peer-reviewed research and getting into more social media channels!
Connor's review of the 1970s sex book
My review of The Act of Marriage
Our sexuality through the ages series--start here and then follow the links at the bottom
Our rubric and scorecard of all the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We've got some AMAZING guests joining us on the podcast today, authors/father-daughter duo Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer! We hope you enjoy this discussion on church cultures, and can find your own church that is 'tov'!
Links to things mentioned:
Scot & Laura's book! https://amzn.to/2OP4Nb9 (A Church Called Tov)
Our rubric and scorecard
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week's episode is going out to all the parents of teens out there. We know that sex and puberty can be a tough topic to navigate with your children as they grow up, so we wanted to really delve into that topic and hopefully help further healthy messages for the future generations!
The Whole Story: Our puberty & sex course for moms/daughters or dads/sons (or single parents & opposite sex child!)
The problem with Shaunti Feldhahn's survey question where she said that 82% of boys had little ability or felt little responsibility to stop the sexual progression
That study about teenagers and masturbation rates
The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book with lots of great research about lust, etc.
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This is a jam-packed episode of the Bare Marriage podcast! We hope you enjoy listening in this week!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue! And remember to rate and review!
Last week's long post on Emerson Eggerichs gaslighting abuse victims--and the podcast that went with it
The blog post where Emerson Eggerichs uses the stat both correctly & incorrectly at the same time
10 reasons rushing forgiveness ruins intimacy
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family (that our letter writer referred to)
The Duty Sex Isn't Sexy podcast (that our letter writer referred to)
Why Unconditional Respect Isn't A Thing (where we looked in detail at Shaunti Feldhahn's survey question regarding respect)
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We simply must change the way we talk about women in the church, because what is happening is dangerous.
Links to things mentioned:
The post yesterday where we discussed Emerson Eggerichs' sermons in detail
Last week's post on the Atlanta shootings and seeing women as dangerous
Study showing that non-fatal strangulation increases the odds of a woman being killed by seven-fold
The original sermon series by Emerson Eggerichs on YouTube--Part 1 and Part 2
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Let's discuss orgasms this week, shall we?! We're thrilled to announce our new Patreon!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
The Orgasm Course
The Honeymoon Course
The Orgasm Series
ᐧTo Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Another week where we're discussing sex and marriage here on the Bare Marriage Podcast!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue — it's doing wonderfully and selling wonderfully! Thank you so much--and help us out by leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads once you've read it!
Our survey methodology
Books that we liked--How We Love by the Yerkovichs; Boundaries and Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
10 Ways to Know if Your Church is Toxic
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
The story of Thalidomide
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We planned to do a bit of a victory lap, and it did start out that way.
We’re just really raw with you about how demoralizing it is to see people just love our book and say what an amazing impact it’s had on them– and then have the powers-that-be still not care about hurting women.
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Our survey methods
Dr. Camden Morgante: And check out her "which purity culture myth affected you" quiz!
Our Podcast from last week discussing how children are not sexual
Our Honeymoon Prep Course (where we help people prepare for sex on the honeymoon--and how not to rush intercourse!)
Our correspondence with Focus on the Family around Love & Respect and abuse
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Sometimes the way we talk about sex is just plain, well, icky and weird.
We go back to basics and ask for a healthy way to talk about sex that isn’t weird!
Links to the things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Andrew Bauman
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What happens when women are told: “If your husband is typical, he has a need you don’t have?”, as Love & Respect put it.
If you hear that your whole life that women need affection while men need sex, and women don’t actually need that much. Well, should it be a surprise if we grow up believing that sex is not for us?
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin's Imago Marriage Counseling.
You can schedule a free consultation now--or check out his retreats.
My viral Twitter thread
Last week's post: How The Act of Marriage impacted me
Our libido series
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week were talking all about duty sex and consent! Thank you to our guests that joined us, it's so encouraging to hear other voices out there with a heart to share this hopeful message of what healthy sex looks like in marriage.
Links to things mentioned:
Andrew Bauman: his book The Sexually Healthy Man
Benjamin Young's Twitter Thread
Benjamin Young's ministry Guard the Gift
The Great Sex Rescue
Our Previous Podcast on Marital Rape and Consent
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week Sheila and Rebecca are digging deep into just how bad some of the advice out there is for Christians dealing with porn use in their marriage. We need to talk about this better, everyone!
Thank you to Michael John Cusick for stopping by to help give us an even better look at what healing and recovery can look like for the many people struggling with pornography.
Links to things mentioned:
Our Porn series in April (read the first; the rest are linked from there)
Our Porn Habits Podcast: How most porn use predates the marriage (my response to Focus on the Family telling women that men watch porn because their wives don't have sex enough)
Michael John Cusick Website, Podcast, and book: Surfing for God, about discovering the divine desire beneath the sexual struggle
Restoring the Soul
Restoring the Soul podcast
Andrew Bauman, author of The Sexually Healthy Man
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
And we're back with a new 'Start Your Engines' episode! The whole team is practically here today, as Sheila, Keith, Joanna, AND Rebecca all join in to discuss this all too common teaching that 'ALL men will struggle with lust!'
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Twitter thread we read
Blog posts:
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Joining us on the podcast this week is Ruth Everhart, author of the book 'The #MeToo Reckoning'. We hope you find today's podcast a helpful step in the larger conversation in how we need to handle and address sexual assault situations in the church.
Links to things mentioned:
Last spring we had a number of posts and podcasts on the problem with the gatekeeping message--namely that it can hinder arousal. Some of them are: Arousal: The missing piece podcast; And the let's bring back making out post.
Why Unconditional Respect isn't a thing: Our podcast where we looked at the survey question that was used to justify the claim that men choose respect while women choose love.
9 Signs of Grooming Behaviour you need to understand
Ruth Everhart's post on The #MeToo Reckoning
Ruth Everhart's book The #MeToo Reckoning
Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week we are joined by author Rachel Joy Welcher, as we discuss all things purity culture - and where it went wrong! We so appreciate Rachel joining us and giving her insight!
Links to things mentioned:
Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
The Great Sex Rescue
Rachel's book: Talking Back to Purity Culture
Rachel's Twitter
Why arousal can be difficult for women if they don't understand the sexual progression
More information on women and porn
Rebecca's book: Why I Didn't Rebel
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Welcome back! We are excited as we begin our rebranding process from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum to… *drumroll* Bare Marriage! Listen in as we discuss what led to this new name choice and our thoughts on how we see 2021 going, as we focus on a Jesus-centered marriage!
Links to things mentioned:
Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
The Great Sex Rescue
Sheila's post on the Harvard Study
More info on the Harvard Grand Survey
The article on 'Mediocre Leaders'
Our response to Emerson Eggrichs
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
2020 has been a wild year for everyone. As we close off this year, we want to reiterate how much we appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read the blog, listen to the podcast, buy the books, buy the courses and just be a part of our TLHV family. We hope you've enjoyed learning lots along with us this year, and we can't wait for the release of our book in March as we enter a new era on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, (and hopefully a more joyful era at that!)
Links to things mentioned:
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall's book
Dr. Cythina Long Westfall
Marg Mowczko
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Another week, another episode of the TLHV podcast! A special thank-you to our guest Dr. Westfall for helping shed more light and give new perspectives on a passage in scripture that we read so often! We hope you enjoyed today's episode, and while we know we got pretty technical with some context and vocabulary, we believe it is very important that we look at these topics as clearly as possible to gain the best understanding.
Links to things mentioned:
Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall's book
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall
The Great Sex Rescue
Psychology Today article
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We always love tackling tough subjects on the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast and we hope you enjoyed our passionate discussion today.
Links to things mentioned:
4 Stages of Porn Recovery
The Bell-curve Modesty Rule
The Whole Story
The Great Sex Rescue
Andrew Bauman's website
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Alright, gentlemen, we're here again for another Start Your Engines episode! Thank you to Andrew Bauman for joining us today for this important conversation and being a great voice advocating for emotional health.
We apologize for the slightly muffled audio, we did our best to clean it up, and we appreciate your grace with us as we begin to invite guests onto the show and work out new technical challenges.
Links to things mentioned:
Andrew J Bauman's Surveys
Andrew J Bauman's Website
Books by Andrew J Bauman
To Support Us:
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We want to give a special welcome this week to our first non-family-member guest, Marc Alan Schelske! We hope you enjoy our discussions today all about emotional intelligence and emotional maturity.
Links to things mentioned:
Marc Alan Schelske's book
Marc Alan Schelske's website
Marc Alana Schelske's Podcast
Workbook mentioned
To Support Us:
And don't forget to sign up for Sheila's newsletter!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Sheila and Rebecca decided to take the time this week to further flesh out a podcast topic addressed a few weeks ago, that was perhaps not portrayed in the best way. Thank you for making the 'To Love, Honor, and Vacuum' podcast part of your week!
Links to things mentioned:
The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/
"Rushing Forgiveness Ruins Intimacy": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/08/10-reasons-why-rushing-forgiveness-ruins-intimacy/
Pre-Order 'The Great Sex Rescue': https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Rescue-Sheila-Wray-Gregoire/dp/1540900827
Be a part of 'The Great Sex Rescue' Launch Team!: https://forms.gle/A9ZLMdgMR37uK8rQA
Natalie Hoffman Post: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/message-baptist-church-preached-death-women/
https://leslievernick.com
Please check the blog post that accompanies this podcast for further links to things mentioned.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
It's time for our monthly 'Start Your Engines' podcast, with special guest Keith! We hope you enjoyed this conversation all about the sexy sex!
Links to things mentioned:
10 Things Husbands Who Are Great Lovers Do: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/10-things-husbands-who-are-great-lovers-do/
The Orgasm Course: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/
Some articles from the blog talking about dealing with Pornography addiction:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/motivation-for-men-to-fight-pornography/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/how-to-break-the-stronghold-of-porn/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join us for another week of the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast, where Sheila explores some of your comments on how the beliefs we internalize affect a couple's sex life.
Link to the blog:
http://www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com
Link to Pre-Order The Great Sex Rescue:
https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This month on the blog we're going to be talking lots about orgasms! Do you struggle with having orgasms? Do you see your body as something working against you, not for you? We're here to help talk about these things!
And today we have Sheila, Rebecca AND Connor all hopping on the podcast to give some great thoughts about how we talk about women's sexuality, how we view our sexual needs, and how we can increase the likelihood of orgasming!
Blog post mentioned from Monday: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/you-are-not-broken-if-you-cant-reach-orgasm/
Blog post for this podcast: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join us this week as Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach discuss some important topics -- sexual abuse and when to seek professional help.
Links to things mentioned in the podcast:
The need for licensed counselling : https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/
Dan Allender's book: https://www.amazon.com/The-Wounded-Heart-Dan-B-Allender-audiobook/dp/B01ATOK6H8
"98 Ways You Could Be Sinning Against Your Husband": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Thank you for tuning in to the September edition of the 'Start Your Engines Podcast'!
Links mentioned in the episode:
Blog Post on Frequency: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/
Email List Sign-up: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.us7.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=7dab5e96bfaeb6aaa1503b481&id=5b44e4e8aa
Link for the Blog: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This month on the blog we’re discussing all things ‘Libido’! Listen in to hear Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Sheila Wray Gregoire talk about what could possibly be the key to unlocking your spouses’ low libido, and perhaps make you rethink how you see 'frequency' in relation to healthy sex!
Blog Posts Mentioned in this Podcast:
How frequently should a healthy couple have sex?:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/
How to see Every Man’s Battle Differently: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/06/every-mans-battle-is-wrong/
How to see Sex from a Different Perspective: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/
Why We Need to See Sex as Mutual: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/godly-sex-is-mutual-sex/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week Sheila is flying solo on the podcast, and getting a bit more controversial!
Listen in to hear her discuss the concept of how being content with your sex life can perhaps cause it to flourish even more, how sex and talking are NOT equivalent, and how Christians should better handle speaking about divorce.
Links for Things Mentioned:
Free Sex Pep-Talk Course! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/sex-pep-talk-course/
This week's mentioned post: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/libido-can-high-drive-spouses-be-content-with-sex-frequency/
My Post on "Are you to blame if your husband has an affair?" https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/07/are-you-to-blame-if-your-spouse-cheats-on-you/
Book Recommendation: Marc Alan Schelske's "The Wisdom of your Heart" https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Your-Heart-Discovering-God-Given/dp/0781414512/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=marc+alan+wisdom&qid=1599678760&sr=8-1
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
How do you handle it when tough conversations come up and loved ones are making decisions you don't agree with? Especially when marriage and engagements are the starting point for those hard conversations?
Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum talk through different Reader Questions and come up with some tips on communicating and how to discuss issues such as pornography and past trauma with your fiance!
Some links mentioned in this podcast:
The Honeymoon Course!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/
Our 'Love & Respect' Blog Posts:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/love-and-respect-review-how-sex-portrayed/
Should you marry someone who uses porn?
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/should-you-marry-porn-user/
BOOKS MENTIONED:
Why I Didn't Rebel: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Didnt-Rebel-Twenty-Two-Year-Old-Narrow/dp/0718090004/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=why+i+didn%27t+rebel&qid=1599102064&sr=8-1
Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart: https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-that-Connects-Childs-Heart/dp/0984994203
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What if, when flirting, your signals keep getting crossed and for some reason your wife doesn't respond well to your advances? In today's episode, Sheila and Keith, (plus Rebecca and Connor!), sit down to break down why flirting and groping are different things, as well as how to optimize your timing and context when flirting!
Check out the blog for so much more on this topic, and fun challenges to do with your spouse!
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What do you do if you can't/don't want to have intercourse, but other forms of sex are actually uncomfortable?
Some Christian books tell women they should give sexual favors, because they're "simple" and take a "minimum of effort."
Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum look at the complete picture--what this should look like in a healthy relationship, and how to think about it if one of you actually is physically uncomfortable.
Because, as always, sex is supposed to be MUTUAL.
Some links mentioned in this podcast:
All my Audio books--and the free book studies that go along with my books:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/audio-books-free-video-studies-and-more/
My Boost Your Libido course!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/boost-libido-course/
Our marital rape/consent/obligation sex podcast:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/
And for more discussion on this podcast, check out the post that goes along with it!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/podcast-when-oral-sex-manual-sex-hurt
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Another Thursday, another episode of our podcast!
It's Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from the To Love, Honor and Vacuum blog, discussing expectations of the effort we put into sex and making one another feel good!
And yes, we're still filming from Sheila's closet because the sound is best there! :)
Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast:
The Honeymoon course:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/
Rebecca's blog post:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/can-christians-please-stop-talking-about-disciplining-babies/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Why do we feel such shame? How can we help men be more sensitive to women--without being creepy? And how can we as women be empathetic towards each other? These are questions Rebecca and I tackle in this week's podcast.
Plus we'll discuss why using tampons does not impact your virginity (why do we even think that's a thing? Sheesh!).
Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast:
Our Whole Story puberty course!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/
And our period series--check out our first post. The rest are included!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/periods-going-to-beach-teenager/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today Keith joins me for yet another episode of our ‘Start Your Engines’ edition of the podcast to discuss how husbands and wives approach to sex can vary greatly, but how neither one is wrong!
Blog posts mentioned in this episode:
“Should I Tell My Husband if I Fake Orgasm or Fantasize During Sex?”
“Understanding Sex from a Woman’s Perspective”
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week--how do you untangle sex problems, especially because there's usually not just one problem? And how to tell if there are red flags that something's really wrong!
Thanks to our sponsor Ann Mainse, whose wonderful devotional Coffee with Him helps any woman walking through rough times--whether cancer or betrayal or heartache or disillusionment--find peace. Raw and real, Ann shows how we can be honest with God in the darkness.
Posts mentioned in this podcast:
The 5 Step Plan for Untangling Sex Problems:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/why-are-so-many-sex-problems-in-marriage-so-hard-to-solve/
We Need a New Definition of Sex
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-definition-sex/
We Read Act of Marriage--So You Don't Have to!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/act-of-marriage-lahaye-christian-sex-book-review/
And don't forget to check out 31 Days to Great Sex to help you connect again and step-by-step rebuild your sex life!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/books-2/31-days-to-great-sex/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We often go to our pastors for marital advice and answers to tough questions. But what about the questions you can't ask them? In preparation for my Sex Questions You Can't Ask Your Pastor tomorrow at 9:00 PM Eastern Time.
If you want to sign up, just follow the link to buy your ticket, which comes with a FREE copy of my book 31 Days to Great Sex, and a FREE copy of Spicy Dares
Sign Up for the Webinar Here
Blog Post Extras
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We have been talking about the concept of mental load and the emotional burden of taking care of kids and the household. And when your wife is feeling overburdened bu all the things she needs to track, it's hard for her to get invested in the bedroom. It's so important, then, for husbands to get invested in the household, but is asking her to make a list really going to help the problem? Let's discuss!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
I've been talking on the blog about the mental load of housework and how it often falls on the wives, even when they are the one who works outside the house. I have also been saying that men can step up more because being a man doesn't make them less capable. Curiously, that sentiment has earned me the title of man-basher from some of my male commenters. So Let's talk about that.
Podcast Extras
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Let's talk about minimum community standards and how they can be used to reduce your mental load and get you and your spouse on the same page in terms of housework!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This month we are doing our series on emotional labour. In keeping with that trend, today's podcast is all about how much of a mental load it is to be solely in charge of housework, and how to find a healthier balance with your spouse.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
What are the differences between men and women, and how important are they actually? Have we been focusing on the wrong thing?
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
So much of the teachings out there for young women is that when they are dating, they must be the gatekeeper and stop physical interactions from reaching their boyfriend's 'point of no return.' Let's talk about how this mentality often ends up holding women back from enjoying sex once they are married.
Honeymoon Course
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today we talk about about how to handle being cooped up in the house spending all day every day with your spouse. It's not just something to get through, but something you can even grow to love!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
We have found the the message that "women NEED to have sex regularly or else their husbands will stray" Is very harmful to their enjoyment of sex. But we also found that they often don't get that message from their husbands. Their are a lot of great husbands out their whose wives are still struggling because they have heard this message at church or in books or from media .So let's talk about how you can replace that message with something better and help your wife find sex sexy again. Also, Connor comes on to talk with Keith about porn and with Rebecca about consent. They talk about the harmful messages that arise around these issues and how we can combat them.
Is Sex an Entitlement?
Top 10 Effects of Porn on the Brain
Porn and Sex Trafficking
4 Stages of Porn Recovery
Marital Rape Podcast
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We need to talk about what actually constitutes rape and consent in marriage, and where obligation sex fits into the conversation
Podcast Extras on the Blog
Marital Rape
1 Corinthians 7:3-5: What do the verses really mean?
Do Not Deprive: What if it’s actually women who are being deprived?
Why We Need a New Definition of Sex
Have we made sex into an entitlement?
Why submission doesn’t mean letting yourself be hurt (a look at the book Created to be His Helpmeet)
Sexual trauma & The Body Keeps the Score
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Today, Rebecca and I review sheet music and talk about how a book that gives overly explicit sex advice can become just plain creepy.
Honeymoon Course
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I read out some quotes and anecdotes from Tim LaHaye's book, The Act of Marriage, to my Rebecca to get her reaction.
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COVID-19 is everywhere in the news right now, and people are scared. But while everyone is talking about the novel coronavirus and our response to it, I want to discuss the similartities between COVID-19 and porn use, particularly in terms of what we should do about it.
Podcast Extras
Why Every Man's Battle Fails
Wives Are not to Blame
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It's time to rethink 'every man's battle' and talk about what lust really is, and how to really combat it.
Podcast Extras
The Church View of Lust Disrespects Women
Are Men Visual?
Masturbation in Marriage
When She’s Always Left Hanging
Women Deserve Orgasm, too
Why Women’s Fireworks Matter
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We live in a rapidly changing world where information is available at the touch of a button, yet the Sunday church service has stayed pretty consistent. Is it time to shake things up?
Podcast Extras
Being Lonely in a Group of People
10 Ways to Break Into A New Church and Find Friends
What Happened at Willow Creek?
10 Signs You’re in a Legalistic Church
When Women Start Saying No to Church Activities
The Case Against Sermon-Centric Sundays
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Community is an important part of our life, but what do you do when you have trouble finding it? Or when you've found it, but can't join it? Or when you feel you have a little too much of it, and people are giving you unsolicited advice? All that and more on today's episode!
Podcast Extras
Making Community at Church
Podcast: Getting Your Life Together
Canadian Pediatric Society Screen Guidelines
American Academy of Pediatrics Family Media Plan
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My reader questions are coming in faster than I can write posts on them, so for today's podcast I am going to answer a bunch of my readers questions about marriage, sex, and everything else!
Podcast Extras
Can You Divorce for Abuse?
Why I’m Anti-Divorce but Pro Remarriage
Is the Husband the Tie-Breaker?
Are Husbands Supposed to "Get Their Wives Ready for Jesus?"
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There are a lot of unhelpful or harmful teachings about sex out there, so let's talk about how to discern the good from the bad. Also on this episode, Rebecca and I will talk about how to navigate your wife's hormonal cycles when it comes to the bedroom!
Spicy Dares
Podcast Extras
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The idea of having sex after giving birth is daunting, especially after complications. And if we move too fast, we risk making recovery even harder. So let's talk about not just how to start having sex again, but how to get back to enjoying it!
Podcast Extras
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Valentine's Day is coming up, so let's talk about what it means to be a sexual being, how the world can sometimes take our sexuality away from us, and how we can reclaim it!
Podcast Extras
Sexy Dares
Why I didn't Rebel
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When I surveyed women for one of my books, I asked them to name three things about their body. Most of them really struggled to come up with one, but they had a whole of things they DIDN'T like. So let's talk about how to not just accept our bodies, but to LIKE them. Because after all, they're the ones God gave us!
Podcast Extras
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Let's talk about a big issue we hear about a lot: Sexless marriages. Whether a wife is withholding sex because of her husband's behaviour, because she doesn't enjoy it, or just because she finds it gross, let's figure out why she cut things off, what a healthy sex life should look like, and how to get there!
Podcast Extras
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Something’s wrong in your marriage. So what do you do about it?
This month I’m running my iron sharpens iron series, about how marriage is supposed to make you better people. But it can’t do that if we don’t speak up when things are wrong! So today on the podcast I’m continuing my discussion about how to confront your spouse if something’s bugging you
Podcast Extras
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Submission Podcast
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It's one year this week since I ran my huge Love & Respect series. I've written about how Love & Respect treats sex horribly and harms marriages off and on throughout this last year, since the original week-long series ran. And now, on this one year anniversary, I've been tying up some loose ends, including dropping my 5500 word open letter to Focus on the Family questioning their support of Love & Respect, as we cap off our discussion.
This Episode's Blog Post
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Let's look today at how to draw boundaries and actually see progress in messy areas of marriage. We're in the middle of our iron sharpens iron series on the blog, where I'm talking all month about how marriage is supposed to make us better people. I'm afraid that, too often in marriage, we tolerate small things early in the relationship that then become engrained habits that get worse and worse and worse. By speaking up and doing something about behaviour that is damaging to your spouse, to you, and to the relationship you can help create the kind of marriage you actually want.
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Today's Podcast Extras
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Last January, I read Love and Respect for the first time, and it was like a bomb had been dropped. I knew I was going to have to talk about it. One thing led to another and 2019 became a pretty big year. So let's recap on some of the big changes and talk about where we are going from here, answering a few reader questions along the way!
Podcast Extras
Productivity Bundle
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Let's talk about what you can do to really get your wife involved and enthusiastic about your bedtime escapades. Because good things come when her pleasure is your focus
Today's Links:
Podcast Extras Post
"Do Not Deprive" Post
Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
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With Christmas coming up, it's time to talk about something many of us dread: Navigating tricky family dynamics at holiday gatherings. Rebecca, Connor, and I are going to talk about both toxic and non-toxic family situations.
Why I Didn't Rebel
Podcast Extras
When to Walk Away
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So often I hear the sentiment that the reason so many good christian guys are using porn is that their sexual needs are not being met by their wives. Not only is this blaming wives for their husband's sin, but it simply isn't true most of the time. So I am going to talk about this issue and lay down some facts about why porn use starts, how it affects mirriages, and how we can move past it!
Here are the links from today's podcast:
Today's Podcast Extras
Focus on the Family Podcast
Covenant Eyes
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My husband who is a pediatrician joins me on the podcast to address a slew of reader questions about erections. There's really not much more to say than that!
Links:
31 Days to Great Sex
The Whole Story
To Love Honor and Vacuum Blog
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Today let's talk about a very serious topic. With all the cases of pastors and other influential people in church using their power to sexually abuse members of their congregations, and the recent news about Christian comedian, John Crist, I want to talk about how to recognize the patterns and processes of people who are trying to groom others for their own purposes.
Read the Podcast Extras Here
Check out "Get Your Marriage On" Here
Complete My Marriage Survey Here!
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My grandson is 2 weeks old now, so I will be talking with my daughter about the difficulties of the road to recovery after a baby. It's a topic that people often don't talk about, but it is so important to have understanding and compassion for those going through it. On a related note, I also address a reader question about overcoming vaginismus.
Take Our Marriage Survey
See Today's Post
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Today is Halloween and the last Thursday of the month, which means I am once again speaking to you men out there. And this week we are talking about how to start those uncomfortable conversations about sex with your wife when you think you should both be getting more out of your sex life.
Here are the links mentioned in the podcast:
Post "Why Your Husband Wants You to Read This Blog"
To Love Honor and Vacuum
Get Your Marriage On
31 Days to Great Sex
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Today Rebecca and I talk about one of the big ways in which we as women today are making our lives a lot more difficult than they need to be. So let's talk about areas of expertise, social comparisons, and asking for help when we need it.
If you want to read the post that accompanies this episode, head on over to "To Love Honor and Vacuum!"
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Today we are answering reader questions from marriages that are past the honeymoon stage and are now working on sorting life out. One reader asks what to do when your husband won't come to bed with you and stays up playing video games. Another asks if it is wrong to want a great marriage, not just a fine one. And a third reader asks what to do if your husband who is hooked on games wants to buy an Xbox at the same time your child is due!
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Podcast Extras
Last Week's Podcast
Get Your Marriage On
Spicy Dares
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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I have had many women asking me to do a podcast for men so they can get their husbands to listen and understand women better. So, starting this week, the last Thursday of each month will be a men's episode called "Start Your Engines." Ladies are of course still welcome to listen in, as it's still relevant for you, but I am speaking more directly to the men here. We start off our first episode giving an overview of the often overlooked differences between male and female sexuality!
I recommend you check out this great app, "Get Your Marriage On"
You can also check out my book, "31 Days to Great Sex"
And as always, check out the podcast extras on my blog!
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This is a long one. Recently, the author of Love and Respect sent out an email to his readers addressing some complaints he often receives about how his teachings from the book are applied. And his response sent up a sea of red flags. So, I have brought my husband on to discuss our issues with it. If you want to check out the blog post that accompanies this podcast, you can find it here. And as always, if you like the podcast, leave a rating and a review!
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What do economics have to do with your sex life? More than you'd think. Today I talk about that in depth, and also address reader questions and comments about how to live with joy together in the middle of the mundane. Finally, Rebecca and I address the criticisms we have received for teaching women how to reduce their risk of being sexually assaulted. Check out the challenge blog post, Mother.ly, and the post for this episode!
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Let's talk about how a seemingly small financial decision can have a domino effect that may create stress in your marriage. Also, how can we use routines without letting them take over our lives? Don't forget to check out the amazing "Get Your Marriage On" app, and check out the blog at To Love Honor and Vacuum!
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We're going to be getting a little academic today as I look at the Greek and the Hebrew used in the Bible to shed some light on the discussion about what it means for the man to be the head of the family. Rebecca and also talk about family support and family boundaries. As always, check us out on To Love Honor and Vacuum!
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I think we often go looking for marriage advice hoping for some easy fix that doesn't really require effort or change. But that's not how to get the most out of marriage. Starting now, the blog and the podcast will both be focusing on action steps. Each week, I will issue a challenge to help you grow your marriage. Also in this episode, I address a reader question about dating a long-distance woman who lives with a highly restrictive father, and Rebecca gives her thoughts on unhealthy views of female beauty! For more, check us out on my blog here!
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We have had a lot of conversations on the blog about modesty recently, and questions about yoga pants and women who wear revealing outfits at church always come up. In this episode, My daughter, son-in-law, and I go in depth on the topic to break down some of the unhealthy teachings and talk how to build each other up in Christ!
As always, check out the extras on the blog here!
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In light of recent events, I want to talk about the isolation and loneliness pervasive in today's society and address what we can do as individuals, parents, friends, and church members to connect with one another on a more effective level. As always, check out the blog for all of the extras right here!
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This month I am focusing on taking back "sexy", so for today's podcast we are discussing how sexy isn't shameful. My daughter comes on to talk about lingerie that can make you feel sexy and comfortable at the same time. I also talk about how sometimes it would benefit us to adopt a broader approach to our faith rather than to become immobile or ineffective due to a narrow spiritual world-view. Check out the extra's for today's blog post here!
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Today, Joanna, Rebecca, and I talk about some sad recent news in the Christian world and talk about the current status of the purity culture. Check it out on the blog here!
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Sometimes the way we talk about dating and marriage with our kids can seriously hold them back when it comes to finding a good spouse. But there are ways that we can set them up with the tools to succeed when the opportunity arises. Rebecca and Joanna also go on to discuss what to do when your relationship with your college-aged kid starts to become strained. Be sure to check out all the extras on the blog here!
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Today I am on vacation so Rebecca, Connor, and Joanna take over to talk about how putting systems in place can take a lot of the stress out of marriage and how to be sensitive when talking to people about pregnancy. For all the extras, check out the post here!
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Events on the blog lately have woken me up to some of the disturbing realities of our culture, and so I talk with various members of my staff and family about these big issues on my mind recently. If you want all of the extras, check out the post here!
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Today I continue my conversation from the blog about the importance of identifying your and your spouse's emotional needs, and I get into how it can help you resolve conflict. I also address a reader question about how to move forward when you have had an emotional affair with someone outside your marriage, and I also give my boardgame recommendations! Find the link to the emotional needs download, the board game post, and more right here!
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I just released the honeymoon course on my blog this week, so Rebecca and I have been talking about how marriages can get off to a great start, or a not so great start. I also address when and how to have conversations about sex while dating or engaged, and I share my thoughts on masturbation. If you want to check out the honeymoon course, click here! And of course, if you want to check out this podcast's blog post, click here!
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Today, my husband joins me as we talk about how there is often a deeper root to conflict than it first seems. One technique for finding that root is the 5 "why" method. I also address a reader question about the sexual difficulties in her new marriage, and I discuss a revelation I had thanks to a Twitter argument! For more, check out the blog post on To Love Honor and Vacuum!
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Some of our readers have shared some sin checklists and score cards for wives that are being used by their churches as resources for marital counselling. They are both hilarious and concerning, so that is what I, Rebecca, and her husband (Connor) are talking about on today's podcast. To read more, and to take a look at these checklists yourself, visit my website here!
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On the blog I have been talking about sex and theology, so I'd like to bring it all together and take a look at what we can learn from the way God made our bodies, marriage, and sex!
For the podcast extras, check out the post on my blog here
And of course don't forget to check out Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and 9 Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage!
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In the wake of Rachel Held Evans' passing, Rebecca and I talk about her work and ideas about prioritizing authentic living-in-Christ over strict adherence to doctrine. While different doctrines can be a source of division for Christians, Jesus' universal love ties us all together. And all too often, kids fall away from church because doctrine was the centre rather than a relationship with Christ. Check out my blog, To Love Honor and Vacuum, for podcast extras and more great content!
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Today, my daughter and I talk about gender differences and gender stereotypes. God created man and woman, but culture created masculine and feminine. We address how the ways that we look at masculinity and femininity are restrictive and work against inclusivity. And a strict adherence to gender stereotypes can also really damage our marriages. I also talk about whether it is selfish or frivolous to spend time and energy improving your sex life (I think you know my stance). For all this and more, including a report that we wrote up on the discourse following my Love and Respect posts, check out the podcast extras at To Love Honor and Vacuum!
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I don't think we always talk about forgiveness in a way that is actually helpful. Today I talk about what it really means to heal and move past something. And while I talk about forgiveness, I also address some reader question and comments regarding men lusting after other women, and the harm behind the mentality that every man will have this struggle. Join us on the blog for even further discussion at To Love Honor and Vacuum! I would love to hear your thoughts.
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We talk plenty about men struggling with porn, but today I address the growing number of women who are struggling with it. Rebecca and I also talk about whether to get involved if your child is dating a non-Christian, and how you can make yourself less of a target for sexual harassment from creeps you don't know. All that on today's podcast and more! Also, don't forget to check out the blog if you want more, at tolovehonorandvacuum.com!
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Today I tackle the issue of modesty. We often warn women not to be stumbling blocks for men, and lay the blame for men's lust at their feet, but what if that is actually creating a stumbling block for our women? I also address whether you should fake orgasm every time, and Rebecca and I discuss wedding vows
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All too often, big problems later on in marriage arise as a result of bad habits and poor communication earlier on. Let's talk about how to fix our marriages before they are broken. Rebecca also joins me to talk about why so many Christian women are having trouble finding a husband, and I address dealing with a spouse's sexual history.
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Everyone is sick today, so we have a short episode of Rebecca and Connor talking about the psychological burden of being in charge of chores. They talk about their own journey through sorting out the division of tasks and responsibility, and give some advice on how you can find a healthier balance in your marriage too!
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Today I talk about what I have learned and observed about resolving "conflicts in marriage" and present some insights on a more productive approach. I also talk about some tricks to help you and your spouse communicate love to one another, and Rebecca and I delve into cellphones and the millennial mental health crisis.
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week we're finishing up our series on how sex should be mutual--including working towards a new definition of sex. I also talk about what to do when a husband in a high-pressure job is too tired for sex, why you might want to reconsider cosleeping, and then Rebecca comes on to talk about what millennials are getting RIGHT! Check out the podcast extras here.
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today I talk about two small but vital things that can change your marriage from the ground up. Rebecca and I later discuss Dr. Ron Welch's book, 10 Choices Successful Couples Make, and I address some comments and questions from my readers about how society talks about sex, and why women often lose their libidos right before marriage. As always, if you want more you can check out the blog post for extras right here!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today we take a look at the do not deprive verses; have we been using them all wrong? I also speak with my daughter about the risks of having a young youth pastor, as well as the critical differences between Christian counselling and biblical counselling. Check out the post here!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Keeping with the theme of the month on my blog, we talk about sexual health, pelvic floor exams, testosterone levels, and flipping how sex is typically thought of in Christian communities. Speaking of community, my daughter and I talk about why community among millennials seems to be lacking, and what can be done about it. Check out the blog post here!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today we talk about how to be a sexually confident woman, mutual sex, and more! My daughter joins me once again to talk about how modern marriage is being done differently in our Millennial Marriage Corner, and she addresses some reader comments about the psychological effects of porn. Check out the post here! Go to Covenant Eyes and use the code "TLHV," or use this link to get your first month free!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
This week we are talking a lot about sex: How to let yourself be in the moment during sex, how to turn off the parts of your brain that distract you from enjoying sex, how to deepen intimacy with your partner, and how and when to try changing things up a bit. I also talk with my daughter about the student loan crisis and how college and university students can combat lifelong debt through their lifestyle! You can also check out the post that accompanies the podcast over at https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/02/podcast-hot-and-holy-sex/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today we talk about what it means when you say you regret having kids, why it's important to take our thoughts captive, how and when to rebuild trust after an affair, and more.
My daughter and I also take about the issue of millennials falling away from church. Tune in to hear it all, or go check out the post on my site: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/podcast-you-dont-get-to-be-selfish
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
How can we create conditions for a thriving marriage? Can we actually find more joy by cutting out the time wasters in our life? Does "Love and Respect" actually point us toward Jesus? Today we will be talking about all this and more, including a guest appearance from my son-in-law and daughter to talk about how they handled video-games in their marriage. To read the post for this episode check out my site, To Love Honor and Vacuum!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Today I take a really critical look at the Christian bestselling book "Love and Respect," giving you my opinion on some of the harmful messages it puts forward. Later, I talk about how divorce affects kids, what to do if your husband ogles other women, and I sit down with my daughter to discuss "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo." Check out the post for this episode here!
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
Welcome to the new To Love Honor and Vacuum Podcast! Today we are talking about creating healthy habits, the problem with mommy "mommy wine culture," and more! You can listen on my blog at https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/our-first-to-love-honor-and-vacuum-podcast/
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.