12 avsnitt • Längd: 45 min • Oregelbundet
A self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological and literary flair hosted by Victoria Hutchins, the creator of @thedailyvictorian. Giving your soul something to chew on every Sunday.
The podcast Soul Gum is created by by Victoria Hutchins. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
Creatives, I’m looking at you. In today’s episode, I walk you through exactly how I lost my creative spark in the Internet’s sea of opinions and how I got it back. When did we forget that art is supposed to make us clutch our pearls? And how do we remember? If you want to stop praying to the altar of the comment section, this episode is for you. We’ll walk through 4 things that helped me start making chewy, brave art again.
You owe it to yourself to stop sanitizing your art. This episode is a messy, raw field guide on how to do that—from another creative climbing out of the same boat.
00:00 Intro
02:09 Preorder MAKE BELIEVE! Let’s hang on tour!
02:44 Are vulnerability and nuance needed for good art?
03:13 Did video kill the radio star? Will IG poetry kill literary poetry?
04:04 Taylor Swift’s quill, fountain pen, glitter gel pen buckets of art
04:40 Sugarcoated self love: helpful or hurtful?
05:28 Should we think about the audience when we make art?
05:42 Rick Rubin & “the audience eats last”
06:20 Is social media tainting our intentions as artists?
08:13 Art as an offering vs. art as an outlet
08:33 How to gut your art of meaning
09:20 My own experience navigating this, good and bad
11:47 Should artists care about views and engagement?
12:27 Microwaving our art to keep pace with the algorithm
13:52 Having no haters is not a badge of honor
14:45 “Bad takes” vs “good takes” and the erasure of nuance
15:10 Moral imposter syndrome and curated vulnerability
16:55 The big, messy mistakes we don’t hear about
17:33 Stop sanitizing your art
17:57 Ellen Bass & art that makes you clutch your pearls
18:31 Relax by Ellen Bass
19:11 Art for likes versus art for thought
19:36 So how do we take our brains back?
19:59 Break - with a big surprise!
23:47 4 ways to take our creative spark back
23:57 1. Notice the voices in your head
24:57 2. Temper vulnerability with respect for your privacy
26:07 3. Create art with urgency
26:21 A Little Life & commodified art vs art for art’s sake
28:42 Mary Oliver on getting distracted from your art
30:55 4. Get off your phone
32:00 How to start a fire, literally & creatively
33:57 Your art misses you
35:34 I ♡ your thoughts
36:27 Challenge: make something scary this week
37:14 You are not out of good ideas
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EPISODE LINKS
Confidence isn’t just something you have—it’s something you do. Today, we’re breaking down 8 small but powerful shifts that will instantly change how others see you and how you feel about yourself. These aren’t generic “believe in yourself” tips. These are super specific, research-backed tips that will instantly improve your confidence. We’re diving into original sources ranging from Plato’s the Republic to HBO’s Euphoria to ask: what does it mean to be a confident person? And how do you become one? If you want to show up in the next conversation you have as most magnetic, grounded, and comfy-in-your-skin version of yourself—this episode is for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
03:42 The philosophy of confidence
03:55 Plato’s virtue of the mean
05:30 Maddy from Euphoria on confidence
06:49 8 shifts for instant confidence
07:18 Break - with a surprise for you!
11:12 1. The power of the pause
13:35 2. Watch overactive listening
16:02 3. Open body language
18:29 4. Handshakes are hot
20:34 5. Rephrase mirrored questions
24:04 6. Slow blink rate
26:43 7. Watch upspeak
29:22 8. Call them by their name
32:32 Lightning round recap
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EPISODE LINKS
We live in an age of seemingly infinite options. The internet has thousands of pages of search results for that thing you need to buy. Endless entertainment awaits on streaming platforms and social media. Dating apps offer a never-ending scroll of potential partners. So why does it feel impossible to find what we need? Why can’t you pick a movie to watch? Why is it harder than ever to find someone to love?
This episodes discusses the paradox of choice: the idea that more choices often make us less happy. Is more less when it comes to choices? If so, how can we live happily in an age of infinite options? Let's talk about it.
EPISODE OUTLINE:
00:00 Intro
01:51 What is the paradox of choice?
02:37 Stanford jam study
06:12 Dating apps
07:10 Decision paralysis
08:53 Opportunity costs
09:13 Sylvia Plath's fig tree allegory
12:08 Expectation inflation
15:05 So what do we do about it?
15:57 Break
21:01 Kierkegaard's leap of faith
22:10 The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
24:17 Nietzsche's amor fati
27:49 Satisficing
30:00 The next right thing
MY LINKS:
Friend breakups hit different. They’re messy, heartbreaking, and rarely come with closure. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down five of the most common types of friendship breakups, why they happen, and how to survive them without losing your mind (or your faith in humanity). If you’ve ever mourned a friendship like it was a death, this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE:
00:00 Intro
03:21 1. The Mutual Drift
04:18 Aristotle’s utility, pleasure and virtue friendships
06:46 Dunbar’s number: how many friendships can we maintain at once?
08:25 Carl Jung & making friends while wearing a mask
09:40 Mollenhorst’s social pruning study
10:06 Getting through a mutual drift
11:51 Break - with a surprise!
15:23 2. The One-Sided Slow Fade
17:00 How to get through it on the receiving end
19:09 What if you’re the one who’s fading away from a friend?
21:22 3. The Formal Breakup
23:38 How to break up with a friend ethically
24:47 Getting through a friend breaking up with you
25:34 4. The Blow Up
26:42 Sartre & conflict as a mirror of the self
27:44 Getting through a friendship blowing up
28:21 Hegel & conflict as an engine for growth
29:26 5. The Sudden Ghost
30:23 Getting through being ghosted by a friend
32:06 Lightning round recap
32:39 The peak-end rule
34:02 Journaling prompts for processing a friendship breakup
34:33 Poem: To Strangers I Used to Know
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Your attention is sacred. It’s also for sale.
Maybe the reason you can’t get off your phone or stop wasting your Saturdays streaming a show you’ll forget the moment you finish the last episode or do what you say you will isn’t because you’re lazy. It’s not because you don’t want it badly enough. It’s not because you haven’t locked in. Maybe the reason you can’t focus is bigger than you entirely.
Today’s episode dives into the hidden reason we distract ourselves from our own lives and leaves you with 5 bite-sized ways to reclaim your brain. My fellow doomscrollers, rotters, and TikTok ban mourners: this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE:
02:18 The spiritual source of distraction
02:29 I. Nietzsche: staring into the abyss
03:43 II. Kierkegaard: sickness unto death
04:46 III. Victor Frankl: the search for meaning
08:04 IV. Kali yuga: the age of distraction
09:16 Enter: the attention economy
10:15 The Dorito theory
14:23 So what do we do about it?
14:31 5 steps to take back your focus
14:42 Break - with a surprise for you!
18:14 Step 1: the art of unitasking
23:05 Step 2: giving attention vs having it taken
25:14 Step 3: Dorito vs dinner list
26:48 Step 4: Dorito ritual
29:18 Step 5: Focus ritual
31:24 Lightning round recap
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This episode should be called ten HARD TO HEAR things about dating I wish I knew in my twenties because... oof. Buckle up. The dating scene in your twenties is the trenches. I wish I could go back in time and tell all this to younger me. It would save her so many hours and tears and good outfits on bad dates with people who don't like her. Instead, I'll tell you. I learned each of these lessons the hard way, but you don't have to! I present to you: 10 things I wish I knew about dating in my twenties.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
01:20 Break
04:09 If they treat you like they don’t care, they don’t
06:41 Someone not liking you doesn't make them a catch
10:06 Running at the first sign of conflict isn’t a flex
13:21 If you’re attracted to games, you’re the problem
16:36 Stop seeking closure from your exes
19:05 Don’t date their potential
20:14 Being single rocks
23:05 Love is not all you need
23:36 You can’t make them stay if they want to go
30:58 You can’t scare away the right person
33:39 Lightning round recap
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Feel like you’re meant for something more but can’t put your finger on what that “more” is? This episode is here to help. The bad news is: finding your purpose in a world full of distractions and expectations is hard. Like, super hard. The good news is: we’ve been struggling with this since the dawn of humanity, so lots of extremely smart people have piped up about it.
Clues to your purpose are hiding in unexpected places. Today, we’ll explore 8 of those clues, as proposed by some of humanity’s greatest minds. Consider this episode a field guide out of your existential crisis. Brought to you by me: your friendly neighborhood lawyer-turned-creative, fresh out of the trenches of living someone else’s life.
SHOW OUTLINE:
00:00 Intro
03:14 If you're looking for your purpose, look for...
03:42 1. What you loved as a kid (Nietzsche)
06:31 2. What makes you jealous (Nietzsche)
10:15 3. What puts you into flow state (Csikszentmihalyi)
13:00 Break
15:56 4. What you see everywhere
16:32 The Invisible Gorilla Experiment
17:30 The Cocktail Party Effect
18:34 Attention as Devotion (Mary Oliver and Simone Weil)
19:00 5. What makes you uncomfortable (Carl Jung)
20:56 6. What connects you to the world (Bhagavad Gita)
23:30 7. What you want your purpose to be (Albert Camus)
26:36 8. Here and now (Alan Watts)
30:07 Lightning Round Summary
MY LINKS:
So you have a dream, huh? You're in the right place. You've probably heard this quote from the brilliant Brianna Wiest: Your new life will cost you your old one. Today we're diving into it. As someone who walked away from an old life for a new one this year, let me tell you - there are costs. In the past year, I have completely flipped my life on its head. I walked away from my job as an attorney to dive into the murky waters of creative work. This episode will discuss 10 things your new life will cost you.
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The floating rock mentality—nihilism with rose-colored glasses—is quickly becoming the zeitgeist of spiritually deconstructed young people. What is it? How did we get here? Cosmologically speaking, are we really just insignificant creatures on an insignificant floating rock? Is life meaningless? What are the pros and cons of believing that it is? Is optimistic nihilism going to turn you into Tyler Durden or Jobu Tupaki? What can we learn from Nietzsche, Albert Camus and Sisyphus? How do we find value in a potentially meaningless universe? Are spirituality and rationality mutually exclusive on this floating rock in space?
JUMP AROUND
I. intro
II. disclaimers (2:37)
III. floating rock mentality (6:48)
a. what is it? (6:48)
b. how did we get here? (9:37)
c. is it true, literally & cosmologically speaking? (11:41)
(ad break)
IV. nietzsche and nihilist philosophy (21:24)
a. sad early life (22:19)
b. sad love life (23:58)
c. nietzsche’s philosophical model (24:47)
V. the pros of purposelessness (29:45)
VI. the cons (35:27)
a. will you turn into tyler durden/jobu tupaki? (36:57)
b. volatile valuation of your own life (40:50)
(ad break)
V. finding value in a (possibly) meaningless universe (43:06)
a. sisyphus (44:13)
b. albert camus on sisyphus (absurdism) (44:47)
VI. how does god fit into all of this? (50:25)
a. pascal’s wager (51:22)
b. choosing between purposelessness & spirituality (58:09)
c. redefining spirituality (1:00:06)
SOURCES & REFERENCES
re: rise in disaffiliation from organized religion among Gen-Z and millennials: https://tinyurl.com/2p9d5474
re: size of the universe, super habitable planets, SETI Luyten B communications: https://tinyurl.com/3kmyy5av; https://tinyurl.com/3hdc8u8m; https://www.seti.org
“Important” by Ian McConnell: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRGqbRHa/
Rhett McLoughlin spiritual deconstruction podcast episode: https://tinyurl.com/yytywu4c
Re: biographical info about Nietzsche: https://tinyurl.com/ye28xbxe; https://tinyurl.com/2za4nsc4
Nietzsche referenced works: Human, All-too-Human (1878), The Gay Science (1882, second expanded edition 1887), On the Genealogy of Morality (1887)
re: Lou Salome, Nietzsche’s love interest: https://tinyurl.com/5bvdymd7; https://tinyurl.com/5598dycu
Fight Club (1999) directed by David Fincher; starring Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter
Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert; starring Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan and Stephanie Hsu
The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus
Pascal’s Wager: https://tinyurl.com/ftrrssth; https://tinyurl.com/7nkhw79b
Let’s talk about death, baby. Today we’re asking: Why are we so afraid to die? Are we 21st century humans any different than Gilgamesh (remember Gilgamesh)? Who’s the most afraid of death: baby boomers, millennials or Gen-Z? Should you freeze your brain in case future humans figure out how not to die? What’s death meditation? Can Victoria talk about her spiritual breakthrough without sounding unbearably woo woo? How do we get less afraid to die???
JUMP AROUND:
I. disclaimers 0:37
II. what is death anxiety? 5:19
III. the paradox of being human (ernest becker) 8:09
IV. trying not to die across history (from gilgamesh to cryonics) 12:50
V. afterlife beliefs: then and now 17:13
ad break (are you proud of me or annoyed or both??)
VI. demographic differences in fear of death 20:03
a. nationality 20:49
b. religion 24:15
c. age 26:27
VII. my experiences with death anxiety 30:37
a. fear of being buried alive 33:53
b. false memories related to death 37:22
c. fear of oblivion 39:02
d. spiritual crisis 41:51
ad break
VIII. my experiences with death meditation 43:38
IX. my ego nap 51:44
SOURCES:
definition of death anxiety: https://tinyurl.com/death-anxiety
Collett-Lester Fear Of Death Scale (CL-FODS): Cuniah M, Bréchon G, Bailly N. Validation of the Revised Collett-Lester Fear of Death Scale in a French Population. https://tinyurl.com/4sp6rh5k
re: the paradox of being human: The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker
re: trying not to die across history: The Epic of Gilgamesh; cryonics (https://tinyurl.com/yckp6jsf); monkey testicle transplant (https://tinyurl.com/3w3svbtm)
re: gen Z attitudes towards death: https://tinyurl.com/bdf2u9yx
re: nationality and religious divides in attitudes towards death https://tinyurl.com/m6f9mepx; the Multidimensional Fear of Death Scale (MFODS; Hoelter, 1979; Neimeyer & Moore, 1994), DePaola, Griffin, Young, and Neimeyer (2003); Duff and Hong (1995); Alvarado, Templer, Bresler, & Thomson-Dobson, 1995)
Is friendship harder than dating or are we all just a little gay? Who did friendship labels better, Aristotle or the Myspace Top 8? Was Alexander Hamilton bi or were we just more comfy with deep friend love back then? How do you make friends as an adult? Is the self care era making us bad friends? Can you love yourself well and love your friends well at the same time?
EPISODE SUMMARY
I. WHY IS MAKING FRIENDS SO HARD?(2:34)
a. no clear labels (3:22)
i. the myspace top 8 - a fleeting moment of clarity (5:47)
ii. aristotle's take on friendship labels (8:00)
b. no hallpass for jealousy (14:34)
i. alexander hamilton: bisexual or just comfy with friend love? (15:55)
c. no roadmap for initiating friendships (20:38)
d. we're all a little gay nowadays (24:05)
II. HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT? (27:25)
a. using the internet (28:05)
b. get okay with pleasure-based friendships (31:00)
c. be patient (32:07)
d. emotional openness (32:56)
e. following through (34:53)
III. IS THE SELF CARE ERA MAKING US BAD FRIENDS? (36:33)
a. 2 stories about flakiness (37:53)
b. the self care over everything era (43:57)
c. how can we love ourselves and our friends well at the same time? (46:40)
SOURCES
Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics
Glennon Doyle, Untamed
article re: Alexander Hamilton being bi: https://tinyurl.com/53328d5d
self care tweet by @kevinfarzad: https://tinyurl.com/yrddpaw6
Is discipline a dirty word in your book? Hustle culture and diet culture have turned a lot of us against discipline. Should discipline have a place in our lives post-hustle culture? How do you redirect your discipline towards your passions instead of your body and your job? How do you unplug from hustle culture without quitting your job/school? How do you remember your passions post-burnout?
EPISODE SUMMARY:
I. WHAT IS DISCIPLINE? (4:19)
II. THE #GIRLBOSS ERA (7:02)
a. post-2008 recession: lean in or lose your job (8:09)
b. 2010s: hustle culture and glorification of overworking (11:04)
c. 2014: rise of the #girlboss (15:38)
d. mounting pressure to have a side hustle: MLMs and beyond (17:35)
e. meanwhile, diet culture reigns supreme (18:26)
III. BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A GIRLBOSS - THE FALL OF HUSTLE CULTURE (20:58)
a. COVID, the great resignation and mass burnout (24:10)
b. growing anti-diet culture sentiment (25:55)
c. “soft living" trend / rejection of discipline (27:34)
IV. TAKING BACK DISCIPLINE (31:22)
a. my experience with burnout & rejecting discipline (31:52)
b. what life without discipline actually looks like (38:37)
c. non-hustle-y examples of discipline + reframing discipline as devotion (42:03)
d. but what if I can’t unplug from hustle culture? I have a job lol (44:19)
e. what if I don’t even remember who I am outside of work/school? (50:29)
SOURCES:
Merriam Webster (definitions of discipline and self-control)
Brittanica (definition of will power)
Re: discipline in the Spartan military (https://tinyurl.com/htb6sfrz/)
Re: hours spent on work and school in the US (https://tinyurl.com/bdhn7wz9; https://tinyurl.com/yeykvhdp; National Center for Education Statistics from September 2006)
Re: diet culture in the 2010s (https://tinyurl.com/2p5cbr89)
Re: weird habits of tech CEOs (https://tinyurl.com/4uw5tduh)
Re: Michelle Obama criticizing Lean In (https://tinyurl.com/yxruv83j)
"I don’t wanna be a girl boss” tiktok by @mjwritess (*corrected username) (https://tinyurl.com/jtbj4zc4)
Elon musk tweets (https://tinyurl.com/5bc272kc)
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.