Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

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Have you wondered what a narcissist was thinking? Why would they do what they do? Do they intentionally know they were being cruel?

This week, I’m going to re-release an interview I did with Dr. Carter in 2023. In it, he gave a unique perspective on the narcissist’s mindset and explained their worldview and defensiveness. Learn how they so effectively turn the tables on us, making us think we’re the crazy ones. 

Stay safe this week! I look forward to having you back for our new episode featuring psychologist Dr Erin Leonard next week. She will be joining us to discuss resiliency, vulnerability, and attachment problems with narcissists. 

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
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• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Have you noticed that too off family court becomes just another battle ground for the narcissist?

Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss post-separation of abuse. Most of us passionately want to protect our children from our toxic ex only to experience more helplessness in the mediation and courtrooms.

To learn how to tip the scales in your favor legally, join me for the Podcast Extra interview by becoming a paid subscriber. Learn the common mistake too many parents make, and what to do instead. Get immediate access here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse?utm_source=edit-profile-page

Resources Referenced:
Emotionally Bulletproof Kids
https://strongerthanbefore.ca/webinar-bulletproof-kids

When Dad Hurts Mom by Lundy Bancroft: https://amzn.to/3Xbg8mj

Angela - Family Court Corner: https://www.familycourtcorner.com

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
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• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Are you being abused and don’t know it? Not only is society blind to narcissistic abuse, but so are most victims.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to talk about why narcissistic abuse is so difficult to spot, even to the victims, and the role this plays in the difficulty of getting help.

To learn how to break your silence and society’s denial in this week’s podcast extra interview with Lisa. You get access to this resource along with twenty other amazing interviews with experts like Dr. Les Carter and Bill Eddy. Get that help today: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Resources Mentioned:
More on Hannah Neeleman & the Ballerina Farms controversy: https://www.thetimes.com/magazines/the-sunday-times-magazine/article/meet-the-queen-of-the-trad-wives-and-her-eight-children-plfr50cgk

How He Gets Into Her Head by Don Hennessey: https://amzn.to/3WICNET

How I Met, Married, and Got Scammed by a Gold Digger TikTok series: https://www.tiktok.com/@kerrymcavoyphd/playlist/Gold%20Digger%20Series-7391205894526176031?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

New Powerful You Group Coaching: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/new-powerful-you/

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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Every person who has dealt with a narcissist has been bullied.

This week, expert and author Bill Eddy joins me to discuss what we get wrong about bullying behavior and the practical steps we all should take to better protect ourselves from antagonistic and vindictive people.

To learn more about Bill Eddy and his work, visit: https://highconflictinstitute.com

And be sure to check out his latest book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop Them: https://amzn.to/3Abr0r3

Is using the Gray or Yellow Rock method wise in custody or legal situations? Find out what Bill Eddy thinks in this exclusive interview, along with other practical tools and strategies. Get immediate access here: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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Leaving is a moral choice. Often, breaking up or divorce is viewed as a personal choice, but it has ramifications and is character-defining. 

Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss why sometimes it becomes a moral dilemma to leave our narcissistic partner. Deciding to divorce is often not as clear-cut for many of us. 

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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These days, it seems like everyone is a narcissist. Is the label of narcissist or narcissistic harmful or helpful? 

This week, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the importance and impact of identifying narcissistic abuse and dysfunctional relationship dynamics. 

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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Divorcing a narcissist often ends up a contentious battle. Victims come into court shaken up and traumatized, whereas their toxic ex appears poised and confident.

Today, two Toronto legal mediators, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard, are joining me. They are also the co-hosts of the Dirty Laundry Podcast. They are going to share how to protect your interests better when leaving a narcissist.

To learn more about Amanda and Alex, please see:
Podcast: https://dirtylaundry.buzzsprout.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJxM73RNPkuk5doIOcqelWA

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

What if you're not going to leave a narcissist? What if leaving isn't possible? Is there a way to survive a toxic relationship?

Sometimes, leaving a toxic relationship isn't possible due to complex reasons. Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss why some victims find themselves trapped in a bad partnership and what to do if this describes your situation.

Resources Referenced:

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist by Dr. Ramani Durvasula: https://amzn.to/4cx4cAe

What to learn practical survival tips if you are can't leave a toxic relationship? Get exclusive access to this interview with Lisa Sonni by becoming a Substack subscriber here: http://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Have you heard of trauma dumping? It’s become a new way to attack victims for talking about their narcissistic abuse experiences.

Rossana Faye joins me as this week’s special guest to explore the importance of sharing your trauma and the role it plays in helping you heal from abuse.

And you don’t want to miss this week’s Podcast Extra where Ro and I discuss the differences between trauma reprocessing and trauma dumping. For this exclusive interview, subscribe here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Reference:
Betrayal Blindness by Jennifer Freyd: https://amzn.to/3VIEvFU

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

In celebration of the upcoming holiday, this episode features three of our listeners’ favorites.

Listen in as Tara Blair Ball and I discuss:
1. How narcissistic abuse is different from emotional abuse
2. Why covert narcissists are difficult to spot
3. If it's true that narcissists make good lovers

Listen to the full episodes here:

S2 EP 33: Were you emotionally abused or narcissistically abused? Why the differences matter

S2 EP 38: Are you trapped by a covert narcissist? The top reasons why you're not spotting covert narcissists faster!

S2 EP 30: Are all narcissists sex addicts? What goes wrong with intimacy in the bedroom

References:
Defining Narcissistic Abuse: The Case for Deception as Abuse by Dr. Kristen Milstead

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

The mind of a narcissist is wildly self-absorbed and oblivious to those around them. They are excessively focused on me, me, me.

Dr. Les Carter joins me to discuss what victims get wrong about the mind of a narcissist. He shares how our assumptions and misunderstandings create false hope, causing us to stay too long and to give too many chances.

To learn more about Dr. Carter: Visit Website & his Surviving Narcissism YouTube channel.

Dr. Carter's book: When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

In an exclusive interview on the Podcast Extra, Dr. Carter shares what he believes creates the shame-based narcissistic self. Become a subscriber to hear his opinions for only $5/month on either Substack or Ko-fi! Same great content in 2 different places: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd

Support the show

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Could you be trauma-bonded to a narcissist? Are you battling a strange mix of love and fear?

Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss trauma bonds--an intense connection to another person that is very difficult to break. We think we feel love when it's based on fear.

Learn more about how to recognize if you're trauma-bonded and why it's so difficult to leave.

Become a subscriber and get the Podcast Extra exclusive conversation about WHY identifying and breaking a trauma bond is so difficult. substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd- Two places, the same cost, and the same great content!


Books Mentioned:
The Betrayal Bond by Patrick Carnes, PhD
The Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, PhD
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson, PhD
Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson, PhD (Appendix contains the 10 Emotional Bill of Rights)

Resources Mentioned:
Strong & Unstoppable Retreat for Women Oct 3-6
Healing Strong 12-Week Group Coaching with Lisa and Kerry
Dr. McAvoy's Toxic-Free Relationship Club
1:1 Coaching with Lisa Sonni

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases at no cost to you as the customer.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Have you asked yourself, "Why can't I leave?" You know you should. You've even started hiding the ugly truth of what's really going on behind closed doors.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss late-stage cognitive dissonance. Learn the underlying cause of the agonizing confusion that paralyzes the victim from acting in their own best interest. Find out what it took for us to break free from its terrible grip.

To learn more about cognitive dissonance, become a Podcast Extra Subscriber. This week, Lisa and I deconstruct the causes of intense paralysis and share practical steps for seeing through the narcissist's deceptive mask.

Sign up here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd. Two great places featuring the same helpful content.

Want to know my story? Read Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross-- available here: https://amzn.to/3NVMBXO

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Have you left a relationship feeling duped? Not just betrayed, but conned? You’ve likely met a covert narcissist.

In this episode, Elena Sagredos, author of But They’re So Nice, joins me to talk about the deceptiveness of covert abuse. We often miss the signs we’ve met a covert narcissism behind their guise of niceness, only later to discover their extreme duplicity.

To learn more about Eleni, you can follow her here:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nonarcsense
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/no_narcsense

To purchase her book:
But They’re So Nice

Eleni Sagredos is an abuse educator and a certified Domestic Violence Advocate with a passion for raising awareness about covert abuse and domestic violence. She is the author of the book "But They're So Nice: Unmasking Covert Abuse & Narcissistic People," which sheds light on the insidious nature of emotional and psychological abuse often overlooked or minimized. Eleni is most active on TikTok, where she shares her insights, experiences, and resources to help others recognize the dynamics and tactics in abusive relationships.

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Relationships with narcissists can be confounding, confusing, and incredibly frustrating.

Join Dr. Kerry for this holiday episode when she revisits the highlights of her three favorite interviews. Hear Dr. Les Carter’s explanation of why narcissists are so tricky, Lisa Sonni’s three steps to breaking a trauma bond, and Dr. Robin Stern’s disturbing description of gaslighting’s power.

To listen to these full episodes:

Dr. Les Carter: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/podcast/s2-ep25-why-do-narcissists-have-to-make-life-miserable-dr-les-carter-explains-narcissism/

Lisa Sonni: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/podcast/s2-ep27-why-am-i-so-confused-the-making-breaking-of-a-trauma-bond-with-lisa-sonni/

Dr. Robin Stern: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/podcast/54-whats-wrong-with-me-the-power-of-gaslighting-to-confuse-and-control-interview-with-dr-robin-stern

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Are you battling toxic in-law drama? Is your mother-in-law or father-in-law intruding into your relationship or family?

This week, Rossana Faye joins us to discuss common toxic in-law drama, particularly when it involves a narcissistic mother- or father-in-law. This week's self-help tip is the importance of strengthening your couple's boundaries over time.

Question for you: Is your toxic mother-in-law ruining your marriage or partnership?

In this week's Podcast Extra, Ro and I dive into this particularly toxic match-up. Learn how to defeat toxic in-laws by becoming a subscriber.

Get exclusive content for only $5/month.

Each week, enjoy member-only video content, psychological insights, and helpful tips on the topics that matter. Join either on Substack: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com or Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd. Same great content in 2 different places!

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Do you find yourself exasperated or angry at your partner, but you aren’t sure why? Do they put you into no-win binds?

Covert narcissists love to play subtle, often hidden mind games. They are masterful at twisting the truth, hiding exploitative agendas, and playing the victim, enraging their partners and families while keeping them in the dark. 

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins to discuss the common mind games covert narcissists use. This week's self-help tip is how to use your emotional reaction and personal history to identify toxicity. 

Join Lisa and me and learn the top strategy to defeating a covert narcissist on this week's Podcast Extra--exclusive content for only $5/month. When you become a subscriber, you'll get weekly member-only video content, psychological insights, and helpful tips on the topics that matter. 

Join either on Substack: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse or Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd. Same great content in 2 different places!

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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Have you noticed managing boundaries with narcissists always fails? That they find some tricky way to evade limit setting?

Suddenly, you’re being accused of being too controlling or sensitive, or they can’t understand what you're asking.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the problems of managing boundaries with narcissists. We'll explore this issue from a narcissist's perspective: why they find boundaries threatening. The self-help tip is the importance of evaluating both partners' investment in the relationship as a measure of a healthy relationship.

Now, you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Ko-fi!

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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(Trigger Warning: This episode contains graphic descriptions of abuse.)

This week, Jessica Kent, a wildly popular social media figure, joins me to share her story of escaping abuse. Jessica reveals how covert narcissistic abuse can go from subtle to violent, especially when victims leave the relationship.

Jessica Kent is best known for prison reform advocacy. To learn more about her and her work:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JessicaKent
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jesken12/?hl=en
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jesken12?lang=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficiallyJessicaKent

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

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Sometimes, the truth can be right in front of you, but you still can't see it. Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss a concept Dr. Jennifer Freyd, in her book Blind to Betrayal, calls “betrayal blindness.” Some truths can be so devastating that they are difficult to face.

And, the self-help tip is the importance of listening to what feels off, uncomfortable, or wrong to recognize signs you may be missing critical details in your relationship or family.

Blind to Betrayal: Why We Fool Ourselves When We Aren’t Being Fooled by Jennifer Freyd, Ph.D.: https://amzn.to/3TRNPpO

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• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Is it ever okay to go through your partner's phone? I've been guilty of snooping and might consider doing it again.

Narcissists and toxic personalities are masters at creating ambiguity. My ex used to readily offer me his credit card after we first started dating. He'd send photos of broken machinery and take me on company runs, all as a way to build trust so that I couldn't tell real company crises from manufactured ones.

I later learned he'd created this elaborate ruse to hide a double life.

Yet going through our loved one's phone can become a hard habit to break. Sometimes, we struggle to exit toxic relationships despite overwhelming evidence of betrayal.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni and Dr. Kerry share their personal stories and discuss important considerations when facing these tricky situations.

Now, you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Ko-fi!

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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An all-too-common problem is narcissists and pets. Toxic people often pose a serious danger to our beloved animals.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni and Dr. Kerry discuss the relationship toxic people often have with their family pets. Narcissists will often shower animals with love and attention only to harm the pets in private. The self-help tip includes some important boundaries to consider when beginning a relationship with someone new.

Now, you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Ko-fi!

Follow the Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
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• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Send us a text

Have you been a victim of spiritual abuse? It's not just interpersonal relationships that can be toxic, but also group systems and leaders. Many are stepping forward to expose toxic church leadership and oppressive and abusive spiritual belief systems.

This week, Natalie Hoffman, author of Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and her latest book, All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir, joins me to discuss this sensitive topic.

To learn more about Natalie, you can find her on
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flyingfreesisterhood/

And she's also the hold of the Flying Free podcast: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/flying-free-podcast/

Her books:
Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/is-it-me/

 All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/all-the-scary-little-gods/

Now, you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Ko-fi!

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• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Have you ever wondered, "Am I the narcissist?" Have you been accused of being the problem? 

In this podcast episode, Rossana Faye joins me to discuss how to know who's creating the chaos. Narcissists are notorious for never seeing themselves as the root cause, but how do we know that the issue isn't us? 

And the self-help tip is how to use your history to identify dysfunctional relationship patterns. 

Please join me for the weekly Podcast Extra! For just $5 a month, get key takeaways, helpful psychological insights and tools, and an exclusive podcast audio extra. This week, Rossana and I will discuss why narcissists refuse to see themselves as the problem. 

Sign up here for this exclusive content! http://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd/tiers

           *******************


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Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Is being overly controlling a form of abuse?

In this podcast episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the subtleties of coercive control. Learn how to recognize the common control tactic of this insidious form of abuse. And this week's self-help tip is to assess how your partner's feelings and demands affect you. Are you doing less and becoming increasingly isolated to please them?

Would you like to learn more about this topic?

Be sure to become a subscriber for the weekly Podcast Extra. Get a jam-packed newsletter with examples, psychological insights, reflective questions, and further resources.  And each week, you'll receive a bonus audio clip! Sign up here: http://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd/tiers

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• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.kerrymcavoyphd.com/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Send us a text

Stonewalling or giving someone the silent treatment is one of the nastiest forms of unfair fighting. When we ignore or reject another person's bid for a connection more than thirty percent of the time, the likelihood the relationship won't make it dramatically increases.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss why stonewalling is such a popular toxic behavior and what to do if it's happening to you. 

A big thank you to this podcast's sponsor, GettheTea.com. Check out their supplements and teas and get better health today!

You don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Ko-fi!

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• Learn more about Toxic-Free Relationship Club: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/toxic-free-relationship-club/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Send us a text

Have you wondered what's wrong with me? This could be a sign of gaslighting.

Dr. Robin Stern, psychoanalyst, author, and expert on gaslighting, joins me to discuss the underlying dynamics of a toxic or narcissistic relationship. She delves into the hidden motivations of both the gaslighter as well as the gaslightee.

•Learn more about Dr. Stern: https://robinstern.com
•The Gaslight Effect Podcast: https://robinstern.com/podcast/about-the-gaslight-effect-podcast/
•My Interview with Dr. Stern on The Gaslight Effect Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/032-breaking-chains-dr-kerry-mcavoys-triumph-over-marital/id1645322193?i=1000637507698
•The Gaslight Effect book: https://amzn.to/4bfGWqx

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• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Leaving often brings along with it a fear of change. We might dread how change will affect our kids or our friendships. Maybe we're concerned about how leaving could disrupt life as we know it.

In this podcast episode, Tara and Dr. Kerry discuss the fears of change they faced and how they overcame them to leave. Tara also is leaving the show and shares about her future plans.

The self-help tip is the power of letter writing to find closure after leaving a toxic relationship.

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Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphd
Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Could living with a narcissist be making you sick? Are you struggling with more illnesses? Maybe you even have an autoimmune disease.

In this podcast episode, Tara Blair Ball and Lisa Sonni discuss the invisible impact of living with a narcissist on our health. Learn how narcissists and other toxic people not only sabotage our self-care but also impact our physical and mental health.

Resources: The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk- https://amzn.to/3Sh06nc


                                               ***************
Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? Sign up for our newsletter for weekly podcast extras!  Join us here!

Follow the Dr. McAvoy!
YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
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Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/
Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. She educates on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube as @kerrymcavoyphd. 

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Are you stuck in a bad relationship? Are you wondering if you have good enough reasons enough to leave?

In this podcast episode, Rossana Faye, Rollercoaster of Love, joins to me to discuss how self-doubt can trap us in a bad relationship. How we can get stuck in our own heads, which only adds to the confusion we already feel in narcissistic relationships. And the self-help tip is the power of finding forgiveness for ourselves through acceptance and love.

You don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  For the same great content, join either on Substack or Ko-fi!

Follow the Dr. McAvoy!

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Are you considering divorcing a narcissist? Wondering how to do it safely?

In today's podcast, Kate Anthony, a High-Conflict Divorce Coach and author of The D Word, joins me to discuss how to become our own best advocate when leaving a narcissist. She covers the top dos and don'ts to exiting these challenging and even dangerous relationships.

Kate Anthony: https://kateanthony.com
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage: https://amzn.to/3HDbTHh

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? Sign up for our newsletter for weekly podcast extras!  Join us here! - https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/

Follow the Dr. McAvoy!
Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
E-mail: [email protected]
Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/
Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. She educates on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube as @kerrymcavoyphd. 

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Are you feeling off-balanced? Do you wonder how your narcissistic partner or loved one is keeping you confused?

In this podcast episode, Tara is joined by Lisa Sonni of Stronger Than Before, and they delve into how narcissists and toxic people employ intermittent reinforcement and other manipulative strategies to keep victims confused.

The self-help tip is the importance of analyzing one's investment in a relationship. Ask yourself, "Is the giving and support mutually reciprocal and equitable?"

Join Our Newsletter!

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• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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One of many harmful stereotypes men face is that they can't be victims of narcissistic abuse, yet the rates of narcissism are nearly equal between men and women.

In this episode, Brent MacLerie, social media activist and advocate for gender issues, joins Tara and me to discuss his experience of narcissistic abuse along with the common challenges many male victims face in abusive relationships.

To follow Brent: https://www.tiktok.com/@expatriarch
Resource: Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work: https://amzn.to/3TYMjnA

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• Facebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuse
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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When there's been a massive breach of trust, victims experience what's called betrayal trauma.  Yet, there's often a rush to fix the duplicitous partner instead of the one betrayed, neglecting the victims' psychological devastation.     

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins Dr. Kerry as a regular special guest, and they discuss victims' common betrayal reactions. And the self-help tip is the importance of prioritizing your own mental health if you're the one who's been betrayed. 

Need to get your next podcast fix? Now you don't have to wait a week. Sign up for podcast extras by subscribing to Dr. Kerry and Tara's paid and free weekly newsletters. Join us here!

And a big thank you to our new podcast sponsor, Get the Tea! Prioritize your health with Life Change Tea at GettheTea.com 

Stay in Touch!

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Did you think you had met the most amazing person only to discover you had married a stranger?

Narcissists and other toxic personalities often wait until their partners are trapped by commitment before beginning more serious abuse and betrayals. In this episode, Tara and Kerry share how narcissists often unmask their real selves after moving in together or while on the honeymoon. 

And, the self-help tip is the importance of finding the right help with facing this kind of a crisis.

Did you know you get your next podcast fix without waiting a week? Join our newsletter for your free and paid podcast extras!  

You will also receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, backstories, and resources. When you sign up, receive our free video gift, "The Narcissists: Insights We Wish We Had Known Sooner." Join here! 

Get in Touch:

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• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Are you managing trauma triggers in new situations or at family holiday celebrations? Are you struggling with sudden fears, rushes of emotions, or disturbing flashbacks?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara discuss coping with trauma triggers after narcissistic abuse. Learn helpful strategies for managing these challenging and unexpected triggers.

Hey, we are now offering mid-week podcast audio extras, only found on Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Podcast Substack newsletter. Each week, we will release two 3-5 minute long audio clips. Click here to listen!

Considering getting community support with expert advice, join the Toxic-Free Relationship Club. Learn more here!

Links:
FX's The Bear
The ADHD Couple Podcast

Get in Touch:

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• E-mail: [email protected]
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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Do you struggle each holiday with the toxic family drama? In this episode, Tara and I discuss the common traps that can keep us from having a meaningful celebration. 

The self-help tip is how to re-adjust our mindset and expectations so that we accept imperfection as a part of every experience. 

Join Our Newsletter!

And receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, backstories, and resources. When you sign up, receive our free video gift, "The Narcissists: Insights We Wish We Had Known Sooner." Join here! 

Get in Touch:

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• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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What red flags are you missing? Are you ignoring the early warning signs of a possible toxic relationship?

In this podcast episode, Dr. Heidi Brocke from the It's Not Normal, It's Toxic podcast joins us to share the common reasons we fail to recognize the initial symptoms of a toxic relationship.

To learn more about Dr. Heidi: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com
It's Not Normal, It's Toxic podcast: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/its-not-normal-its-toxic?sfw=pass1701135483

Join Our Newsletter!

And receive weekly behind-the-scenes insights, backstories, and resources. When you sign up, receive our free video gift, "The Narcissists: Insights We Wish We Had Known Sooner." Join here! 

Get in Touch:

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• Facebook: @breakingfreefromnarcabuse
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreewithkerryandtara.substack.com/
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Dependency can be an early red flag that you're trapped in a traumatic bond with a narcissist. When you feel like life without them is meaningless.

In this week's episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara draw from personal experience the first signs that signaled their trauma bonds and what to do if this is happening to you.

The self-help tip is on staying grounded in the present to sidestep the pitfalls of 'future faking.'

For more insightful advice, practical strategies, and useful tips, subscribe to our free weekly newsletter. Connect with us here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreewithkerryandtara

Stay in Touch:

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Are you fighting a lot? Maybe it's better to learn how not to win an argument with a narcissist.

In this podcast, Dr. Kerry and Tara delve into the problem of arguing with a narcissist. Why these discussions often go sideways with the end result of hurt feelings and being defeated.

And the self-help tip is practical things to remember the next time a narcissist tries to bait you into a heated discussion. How to stay cool and in control of yourself.

Links:
Nameless Narcissist Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@thenamelessnarcissist/video/7289156751230881066?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7296199669347976750

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Have you wondered why narcissists ruin holidays? Why they can't let you enjoy Thanksgiving, Christmas, or your birthday?

In this podcast episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara share their insights and tips, along with some personal stories about this common pattern among narcissists and other toxic people.

And the self-help tip is the importance of having "self-care" boundaries to handle uncomfortable holiday situations.

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Are you suddenly alone? Learn how a narcissist isolates you as a way to gain control over you. How they cut you off from your closest friends and family, making you more vulnerable to abuse. 

Are you looking for an understanding community? Join Dr. Kerry's Toxic-Free Relationship Club with weekly live group video office hours. https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/toxic-free-relationship-club/

Books mentioned: 

BIFF by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/3FFqm4D
Coparenting with a Toxic Ex by Amy J L Baker: https://amzn.to/40qKIIA

Coparenting Apps: 
OurFamilyWizard: www.ourfamilywizard.com
2Houses: www.2houses.com
TalkingParents: www.talkingparents.com

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Are all narcissists abusive? Aren't we unfairly classifying a group of wounded people as toxic or dangerous? Tara and I address this common accusation about narcissists and other toxic people in this podcast episode.

The self-help tip is how to use a detailed history of our personal background to determine if we might be the one causing the relationship problems.

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Have you wondered what's real? Maybe you've noticed how narcissist keeps you in the dark--that they say one thing while doing something else.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara delve into this all-too-common victim's experience of intense confusion that accompanies most narcissistic relationships. And the self-help tip is the importance of having a nonjudgemental, supportive friend for a helpful perspective.

Link: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum

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Have you wondered why narcissists hate limit setting? Why are your boundaries treated as though optional, yet they treat theirs like ultimatums?

In this podcast episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara explore the common difficulties we experience limit setting with narcissists. Instead of a self-help tip, we've answered a listener's question that was emailed to us. She asked how do you know when someone's addiction recovery isn't real.

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Have you ever asked yourself, Why isn't my narcissistic partner changing despite going to therapy? Many narcissists claim they've never worked harder yet their abusive behavior continues.

In this podcast episode, Kerry and Tara share from their personal experiences how to know when a narcissistic partner is truly doing the work to save a troubled relationship.

And the self-help tip is a simple exercise on how to test a narcissistic partner's sincerity in making real change.

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Why distinguish narcissistic abuse from emotional abuse? Aren’t both referring to the same thing? In this episode, Kerry and Tara take a closer look at how narcissistic abuse uses deception to confuse and dupe victims. And the self-help tip is on how to use expressive writing for healing from abuse.

LINK: Defining Narcissistic Abuse: The Case for Deception as Abuse by Kristen Milstead, PhD

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What should you do if you get trapped in a bad relationship? Narcissistic abuse victims often have limited financial means and little social support. In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara answer a listener's letter of someone who finds themselves exactly in this position.

The self-help tip is about the importance of giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs first.

Link:
What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter, PhD

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How do you know if it's love bombing vs. real love? What signs should we be watching out for when meeting someone new? Does the problem of love bombing only apply to narcissists, or do other people do it too?

In this podcast episode, Kerry and Tara share from their personal experience the common mistakes we make separating love bombing from real love.

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Can narcissism be linked with sex addiction, and what exactly is sex addiction? In this episode, Kerry and Tara delve into the intimacy challenges that some individuals with narcissistic tendencies face. Instead of providing this week's self-help tip, they address a listener's question: "Can a narcissist change?"

Link: 

• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 2 Episode 14: Am I more vulnerable to toxic relationships because I have ADHD or Autism? The answer might surprise you

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Is empathy a good indicator you've met a healthy person? Narcissists are often thought of as emotionally cold and insensitive, yet this stereotype couldn't be further from the truth.

In this episode, Kerry describes why we often initially miss the signs we've met someone toxic. Learn the difference between instrumental and compassionate empathy.

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In this episode, Tara flips the script and interviews Kerry. Dive in as Kerry reveals a hidden gem that's been her shield against tough times. Tune in to discover how you too can stand tall against the shadows of narcissistic harm.

Links: 

• How He Gets Into Her Head by Don Hennessey

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In this episode, Tara and Kerry interview Lisa Sonni, author and trauma bond expert, on the development of powerful psychological attachments. Lisa shares how to recognize if we’re  trauma bonded and how to know if we are breaking this toxic interpersonal connection. This episode demystifies the intense attachment so many of us have with toxic people with helpful, yet hard-hurting truths. 

Links: 

• Lisa's Website
• Trauma Bond Recovery Journal
• Rebuilding After a Trauma Bond 
• Surviving to Thriving Workbook 
• Unmasking Narcissism

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In this episode, we get a behind-the-scenes look into our co-host, Tara's life. She shares how she has learned to find joy and where her real source of power is after surviving abuse.

Links: 

• Tara's Website
• Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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In this episode, Tara and Kerry interview Dr. Les Carter, a psychologist with wildly popular YouTube channel and podcast, Surviving Narcissism about the narcissistic mindset. Dr. Carter demystifies why these individuals are so good at turning the tables on us, making us feel like the crazy ones.

Links: 

• Dr. Carter's YouTube Channel

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara respond to a listener's letter about the struggle of recovering from even just a situationship with a narcissist. Relationships with narcissists can impact us negatively even when they aren't long-term ones! And today's self-help tip is about learning to replace previous/negative habits and behaviors with positives ones. 

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara share some of their struggles with figuring out the difference between being selfish and having self-respect. Many of us see boundaries or self-care as inherently "selfish." And today's self-help tip is assessing the motive of your or others' actions.

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara share the initial signs they had broken the trauma bond with their exes. Intense connections get formed with toxic partners and family members that can be very controlling. Breaking them is an essential part of healing. And today's self-help tip is using your observational power to recall possible consequences of any potential action as a personal boundary.

Links: 

• Betrayal Bonds: Breaking Free of Exploitative Relationships by Patrick Carnes
• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 64: I think I'm trauma bonded. Now what? How do I start my healing?

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara address a common fallacy that all relationships are a lot of hard work. We will explore why many of us struggle to recognize signs of a toxic partnership. And the self-help tip is using our bodily sensations to identify safe connections and situations.

Links: 

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson
• Recovery from Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson
• Toxic People by Lillian Glasse
• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 20:  To avoid being lovebombed by a narcissist, how much is too much to share?

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara tackle one of the most asked questions of abuse survivors: how do I know if I should leave? We'll discuss the common hindrances to making this decision and how to support a loved one who's trapped in this kind of indecisiveness. Today's self-help tip is to make a realistic budget for expenses if you should decide to leave.

Links: 

• Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum
• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 52:  I just left the narcissist; how do I stop this terrible pain?

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara discuss a particularly dangerous group of people, the Dark Triad Personality Disorders. And today's self-help tip is how to  assess if someone you know is a one.

Links: 

• Is My Partner Toxic or Dangerous?  Find out with this short survey 
• If you’re wanting to exit a toxic relationship safety,  here are some things to consider. 
• Adam Grant
• Definition of the Light Triad Personality type 
• Robert Hare, Ph.D. Expert on psychopathy
• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 47: How does a narcissist or a psychopath differ? Aren't both abusive?

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In this episode, Kerry and Tara tackle how complicated it can be when the narcissists in your life can also be friends or family members. And the self-help tip is a visualization strategy for your boundaries.

Links: 

• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 69: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/12420137-ready-for-the-holidays-my-three-top-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-relatives-and-in-laws

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Victims of narcissistic abuse often complain about seeing happy photos of their exes on social media. In this episode, Kerry and Tara will discuss why some people move on so quickly and easily after leaving a relationship. And the Self-Help Tip will be how to use "containment" for intense emotions like grief.

Links: 

• "Understanding the Way Men Grieve"  
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson, Ph.D. 

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Have you noticed how narcissists and toxic people morph into someone new once love-bombing is over? In this episode, Kerry and Tara examine the chameleon-like nature of personality disorders and how this creates confusion and self-doubt for victims. And the self-help tip is a helpful exercise to expose if this dynamic is happening in your current relationship. 

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Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse will be dropping a new episode on May 8, 2023. In the meantime feel to listen to previous episodes here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391 

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara tackle the power of reactive abuse to make some narcissistic abuse victims feel crazy. And the self-help tip is how to increase the effectiveness of an affirmation by pairing it with a positive behavior. 

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the vulnerabilities those of us with ADHD or Autism might have in regards to toxic relationships. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice boundaried sharing with the social skyscraper.

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the myth of sex in the narcissistic relationship, and how it might be bad, weaponized, or even assaultive. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice red light/green light in assessing if and what you should do in regards to physical intimacy in a current or new relationship.

Links: 

• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 44:  Listen here.

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the signs of cognitive dissonance and the impact it can have on us physically, mentally, and emotionally. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice H.A.L.T in order to get back to practicing the basics.

Links: 

• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 24: If it’s that bad, why don’t narcissistic abuse victims just leave? Listen here.
• Anonymity by Susan Bergman 
• Why Can't I Just Leave? by Dr. Kristen Milstead 

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss how we might actually gaslight in healthy relationships and how to avoid doing this in the future. And, the self-help tip is on letting others "earn" our trust before blindly giving it to them.

Links: 

• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 30:  Listen here.

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss codependency vs. Super Traits, what's the difference, and why we differ in how we feel about each of the terms. And, the self-help tip is on how to create a list of top lines for yourself.

Links: 

• Repeat After Me by Claudia Black
• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie: Melody Beattie
• Facing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Miller, Miller, and McMillan
• Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty by Aziz Gazipura, PsyD
• Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra L. Brown
• Codependent Anonymous: CoDA.org 
• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 58:  Listen here.

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara give an intimate look at the emotional power of a trauma bond. How trauma bonds create mental confusion and a psychological dependence on the abuser. And, the self-help tip is on the importance of identifying and protecting non-negotiable boundaries.

Links: 

• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 58: Listen here.

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss co-parenting challenges when you have a toxic ex. How do you stay regulated when kids are involved, and what do you do when the kids are being used as pawns? Today's self-help tip is learning to talk to yourself as if you were a friend.

Links: 

• Onward
• OurFamilyWizard
• WeParent
• CustodyConnection
• Parentship
• 2Houses
• Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 66: Listen here.

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss why your toxic ex might come back and try to lovebomb you after the break-up through, what may seem like, innocent requests of friendship. We agree that while their offer may seem tantalizing, DON'T do it! Today's self-help tip is a different way to approach communicating with toxic people.

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In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss following through with limited contact or no contact after a break-up. What is limited vs. no contact? How long should you do it for? And WHY should you do it? Today's self-help tip is one way to self-soothe during reactive abuse.

Links: 

• "How to Go No Contact With Your Ex," (Use the code "PODCAST" to receive 35% off!)

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Research has found that over 99% of victims in abusive relationships were also being financially abused. Could you be experiencing financial abuse? In this episode, Kerry and Tara will identify the common indicators of this abuse type along with some suggestions on how to overcome it. And today's self-help tip discusses the importance of leading with your head and not your heart when making big relationship decisions.

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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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In this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the common problem of exes trying to return after a breakup. Tara also shares why it's necessary to be careful with following self-help advice in this week's self-help tip. 

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In this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the use of narcissistic abuse. It's become a very popular topic on social media. Is it being overused? Then in the Self-Help Tip for today, we'll share how to handle a common argument tactic like DARVO.

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• E-mail: [email protected]
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• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

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In this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss setting realistic goals in 2023 and the Self-Help Tip is a simple strategy on how to hold better boundaries.

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• E-mail: [email protected]
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Welcome back to a new season! I’m being joined with a co-host, Tara Blair Ball, author & relationship coach and kicking off a new self-help tip segment. 

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Narcissist and other difficult people love to ruin the holidays. They will find some way to make it harder on you.

In this episode I’m going to offer three of my favorite tips on how to manage this year’s holiday season so that it’s more manageable and meaningful.

I'll be back next year for season 2!

Register now to 6 Steps to Reclaiming Inner Peace and Confidence. Group coaching with Trey de la Torre and Dr. McAvoy. Next six sessions start January 7th.

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

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This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Narcissistic abuse damages our sense of self because our sense of self is constantly in flux. An exchange of psychological influence occurs between us and those around us.

This episode will look closely at this process and how abuse impacts it as well as outline some ways to begin healing self-esteem after abuse.

Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your questions answered. Ticketholders will also get a recording of the webinar.

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

More at resources.kerrymcavoyphd.com

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Have you noticed how narcissists can take a seemingly straightforward decision and turn it into an exhausting, nonsensical circular argument? The constant conflict can mess with us and make us think we’re the problem.

In this episode, we will explore this common dynamic, including how to determine who’s creating the problems.

Register now to 6 Steps to Reclaiming Inner Peace and Confidence. Group coaching with Trey de la Torre and Dr. McAvoy. Next six sessions start January 7th.

Join our community for support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

More at resources.kerrymcavoyphd.com

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Does abuse affect children the same way as the adult partner? Today, I’m joined by Bri Peterson of Abuse is Abuse. Both of us experienced emotional or narcissistic abuse as children and adults.

In this episode, we will explore the differences between both types of abuse. Was the cognitive dissonance the same? How did that affect our sense of self?

Watch the replay of the webinar with Dr. Sandra L. Brown "How Could I’ve Fallen for a Dangerous Man?"

Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your questions answered. Ticketholders will also get a recording of the webinar.

Follow Bri Peterson on her social media channels.

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd Let me know how we can improve the podcast. Send me a DM.

Also follow Bri on her Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

More at

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Anyone looking for a mental health clinician with expertise in narcissistic abuse knows this is challenging. What makes this so difficult?

In this episode, we’ll explain why finding a therapist is difficult and give tips on how to vet a potential one.

Watch the replay of the webinar with Dr. Sandra L. Brown "How Could I’ve Fallen for a Dangerous Man?"

Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your questions answered. Ticketholders will also get a recording of the webinar.

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

More at resources.kerrymcavoyphd.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Trauma bonds are painful connection with another person that is based on fear. There’s an addictive quality making them very hard to break.

In this episode, we will briefly define a trauma bond and then identify the initial steps to breaking one.

Get early bird tickets to How Could He Do That? Live Interview with Lundy Bancroft. Watch the webinar live and have some of your questions answered. Ticketholders will also get a recording of the webinar.

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

More at resources.kerrymcavoyphd.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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It’s become popular to spend time thinking about psychopathic and narcissistic abuses—for us to obsess over what’s happened to us.

In this episode, we’ll explore whether this way of thinking is good for us and how to tell if we’re falling into unhealthiness as we try to make sense of the past.

Sandra L. Brown Webinar Video Replay. How Could I've Fallen for a Dangerous Man? Watch it here.

You don't have to stay locked in the emotional prison from narcissistic abuse. Join this series of Group Coaching sessions with me, Kerry McAvoy and Trey De La Torre starting January 7, 2023 called 6 Steps to Reclaiming Inner Peace and Confidence after Narcissistic Abuse. Register now for an early bird rate!

Follow me on Tiktok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook! @kerrymcavoyphd

Sign up for the online course! First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist.

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Become a member of Dr. Kerry McAvoy's exclusive Facebook group, Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

More at resources.kerrymcavoyphd.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Have you heard of the acronym DARVO? It’s a nasty type of gaslighting that flips the script and attacks us when we bring up an issue.

In this episode, we will address the underlying dynamic of this abusive practice along with the three steps to combatting it effectively.