“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9–11)

Biblical discernment is understanding something through the power of the Holy Spirit. It means being able to see what is good vs. evil, false teaching vs. truth, wise vs. unwise. Being discerning does not mean being judgemental, though it is easy to fall into that. Being discerning means being able to distinguish the voice and will of God from the noise of the world.

It is so easy to accept what we see on social media, the news, or the internet as truth. But so often, it is far from the truth. Even our favorite Christian writers, podcasters, or pastors could share false teachings. Our kids are growing up in a world that is completely different from the world we grew up in. The access to information alone is overwhelming, which is why we need to be praying that our kids know how to discern God’s truth in the world around them. 

Our kids will face peer pressure to do things that they know aren’t right, they will be taught to follow their emotions and desires over the Lord, and they will be told that there are ways that are better than God’s. The ability to recognize those things as harmful and untrue is a gift that we all desire for our kids. 

For our kids to truly live in God’s will, they need to have a discerning spirit, so let’s pray for their ability to discern truth this week.

Father God, I pray that ____________ will learn to test what they read, hear, and see with scripture. Help them to seek your truth above all else. I pray that your word will guide their paths. May they base their life on your truth instead of the lies of the enemy and of this world. Will you daily renew their minds and make their hearts wholeheartedly devoted to you?

In this week’s episode, I have the honor of chatting with Reese - a college-aged friend that I adore. She bravely shares her testimony - one that involves abuse by a coach, a “not guilty” jury decision and God’s faithfulness through it all. Reese wanted to come on and share her story so that parents see that an authentic faith is often born from life’s toughest struggles. 

When I asked Reese’s mom about this journey, this was her text to me.

“My daughter’s journey reminds us that God can use even our worst fears and redeem them. We can’t protect our kids from their testimony. God always takes what the enemy intends for evil for good. Maybe even their very purpose. Trusting him with their growth and process and pain. We were the parents with such tight controls. No sleepovers. No phones until HS. No ipads. Locked down YouTube. My control can’t protect her from everything.”

My favorite part is when she shares a story of how God spoke directly to her during some of the hardest parts of her story. It gave me chills and also great comfort. It reminded me that no matter what our kids face - they will never be alone. I can either get swallowed up with fear and the “what if’s” of parenting or I can make the choice to lean into faith and trust God has them. He has them in the best of times and the worst. 

I am so excited for you to hear from an 18-year-old with a solid and authentic faith that wasn’t born out of a perfect life. Her faith is hers, it’s tested and it’s remarkable. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Reese’s story of abuse 
• Authentic faith birthed through hardest times
• How she experienced God so personally 
• Rees’s encouragement for parents 

Enjoy,

Courtney

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:01

Impacting Children's Faith

04:18

Overcoming Abuse and Finding Identity in Christ

08:47

Timeline and Legal Proceedings

17:06

Experiencing God through Visions and Dreams

19:28

The Table of the Lord

27:50

Encouragement for Parents

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Reese’s ministry - Abundant Grace

God Made All Of Me - recommended book for littles

Birds and Bees

Birds and Bees Episode

Untold - her favorite ministry in Africa

Ella’s purple dress from Amazon

Identity Simplified

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“But Jesus told him, 'No! The Scriptures say, "People do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God"’” (Matthew 4:4 NLT)

Reading the Bible and memorizing scripture matters because it is one way we can fight the battles in our own lives—both big and small. Scripture can help our kids (and us!) feel confident in our God-given identity, face a life crisis, and everything in between. Knowing God’s word also develops our faith and brings us closer to God. Every bit of scripture is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12), God-breathed, and teaches us to live righteously (2 Timothy 3:16). 

The more we know God’s word and keep it in our hearts, the more we understand God’s heart and his ways, aligning our wills to his. The word of God protects us from the desire to do it all by ourselves and replaces that desire with the desire to let God direct our paths. God loves us too much to leave us to our own devices. He reveals truth to us through his word so that the desires of our hearts become more like his!

So this week, let’s pray that our kids will know the word of God and lean on it to guide them in every area of their lives. 

Father God, I pray that  ____________ grows to learn your word, love your word, and see it as holy and infallible.  May they love the Bible and read it daily with the goal of knowing your heart more and more. May they rely on your word to direct their paths. Remind them to hide your word in their hearts so they can use it to fight any battle they face—now and in the future. Amen.

It’s an absolute delight to have my dear friend Lysa TerKeurst on the podcast today. Lysa has been sharing her deepest struggles through writing books, devotionals and bible studies for decades. She has a beautiful way combining biblical truth and heartfelt empathy that makes us all feel less alone. 

In today’s episode, we discuss TRUST and DISTRUST. She shares that when you starve a relationship from trust - it’s like not giving a human air to breathe. I can imagine that many of you are working through some trust issues - we all are. Whether it’s a broken friendship or marriage or a strained relationship with a family member or dear friend. It can be really hard to manage the healing and repairing process for yourself and even more difficult when it involves your children. 

One of my favorite parts is when she talks about the importance of healing in a community. She shares how natural it can be to isolate when you’re hurt - but trust rebuilds in community. I am praying this episode touches a tender topic with such encouragement and practical help.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why trust is crucial to all human relationships
• How to manage broken hearts and relationships while raising kids
• How to move towards healing with resilience 

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Practical Wisdom and Biblical Truth: A Conversation on Trust and Distrust

03:16

The Impact of Broken Trust: Emotional Abuse and Betrayal Trauma

15:24

Triggers and Discernment: Patterns of Behavior and Self-Exploration

32:55

Resilience and Healing: Overcoming Broken Trust

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

LysaTerKeurst.com

I Want To Trust You, But I Can’t - Lysa’s newest book

Dr Amen and Lysa - her brain scan

EMDR Therapy

WOW - root cover up

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (1 John 5:14)

One amazing way our kids can know more about God is through prayer. The practice of prayer involves talking to God and listening to God. We tend to be better at the talking part because, with the busyness of our lives, it can be a real challenge to slow ourselves down and listen to God! But we can’t hear a whisper when we’re running. As parents, our role is to help guide our kids into a mature faith where they can quiet themselves enough to hear God’s voice. 

Prayer should not be an afterthought in our minds. Going to God and conversing with him should be our first thought when we start a new day, face a dilemma, or experience something great! We know prayer changes things. Prayer transforms hearts, renews minds, and gives us peace that passes all understanding. We need to remember that promise because God, who wants to talk with us, will answer every prayer. It might just look different than we expect – sometimes “no” is an answer and other times we won’t understand how he answered a prayer until much later, or even heaven. 

So this week let’s pray that our kids stand in confidence, knowing that God always hears them and wants to talk with them.

Lord, may ______________ make prayer a priority in their schedule. When something happens, may their first instinct be to talk to you about it, not anybody else. I pray they learn to hear your voice, submit to your will, and deepen their relationship with you through prayer. Give them an eternal perspective, knowing that all their prayers may not be answered in the way they envision, but they will be answered in your perfect way. May they grow to be a mighty prayer warrior, confident in the transforming power of prayer. Amen.

Do you ever feel far from God? This week, we get to dive into a crucial conversation with Jeannie Cunnion. She helps us unpack this very common feeling amongst believers. She has so much encouragement around why God desires us to get closer and closer. And then, she also gives us practical ways we can grow closer to God. 

There isn’t a finish line for growing closer to God. We are all on our own journey with God. It’s personal and it takes time and it’s never-ending. However, we so often compare ourselves to other Christians in our lives. We believe others have arrived spiritually and we are behind. I am praying this chat gives you assurance and comfort in your own journey - no matter where you are in this season.

My favorite part is when we talk about “effort” vs “earn.” Sometimes, we confuse our effort to grow with the desire to earn something. The truth is that we can take steps to get to know God more without getting stuck in the lie that we must earn God’s love. Let this conversation with Jeannie give you peace and a new desire to grow closer to God through His presence.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What to do when you feel far from God
• How do we learn to put effort into our faith - without feeling we must earn it
• How to be on your own faith journey - while parenting kids on their own journey
• Why do we do what we don’t want to do  

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

JeannieCunnion.com

Closer To God - Jeannie’s new devotional

Mom Set Free

Christy Nockels 

Carpool Conversations

White Bird

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)

The world will tell our kids many things about who they are, and some of those things will be true and encouraging. Other messages from the world will be lies, and difficult to hear. No matter who is mean to our kids, what school they go to, or what position they play on the field, our kids belong to God. Your child is God’s child, holy and dearly loved. He or she is called upon, adopted, redeemed, and sanctified. Your child was created with intention for a purpose and God calls them precious. 

So let’s pray that our kids will always stand firm in their identity in Christ so that their confidence will not shake when the world feels unsteady. Let’s ask God to help them base their identity and security in him alone.

Father God, thank you for calling __________ your child. Help them to remember that you love them and call them by name, that you have adopted them into your family, and lavish your love upon them. May they know deep in their hearts that their identity does not rest in what the world says about them, but in what you say. You say they are yours! Amen.

Interested in reading more? Here are 90 Biblical truths about your identity in Christ.

I hope you are finding a theme on this podcast. I am always trying to bring you conversations about real-life problems that us moms face on a daily basis. Also, I want to always point us back to Jesus as well as practical ideas to move forward. 

Today’s episode is one of those issues we face on a regular basis: Alyssa Bethke is passionate about this idea of “being all and doing all.” She really digs into why women struggle with this. My intentions aren’t always bad as a “doer” - they just aren’t sustainable. I would love to fix it all, handle it all and make sure everyone in my life is happy. I really, really struggled with this in my 20s and 30s. However, I am so excited that I have grown in this area and found ways to trust what he’s calling me to do - and only those things. 

I love how Alyssa asks herself this question, “Lord, what is mine to do?” Don’t miss this part at the end when she gives us how she practically handles the pressure of many demands on us. As moms, this pressure to help, fix and support our kids is very real. It is very hard to face that reality - that there is never enough time or energy to do and be all. And that is where our faith comes in. How can we really lean into God so that we know what is ours to take and then we have peace surrendering the rest?

In this episode, we discuss:

• The struggle of doing it all as a mom
• The gift of boundaries and how to say no
• Finding rest in God’s grace and what he calls us to do

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

01:18

The Struggle of Trying to Do It All

08:11

Setting Boundaries and Saying No

11:08

Seeking God's Guidance in Each Season

14:58

The Desire for Control and Predictability

16:16

Finding Rest in God's Grace

16:48

The Struggle of Control and the Call to Surrender

19:05

Honesty and Unmet Expectations in Our Relationship with God

20:33

Parenting: Trusting God and Surrendering Control

25:55

Trusting in God's Goodness and Seeking His Guidance

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Alyssa Bethke Instagram 

Jeffandalyssa.com

When Doing It All, Is Undoing You - new book

Gamechanger Amazon List

Amazon List - more ideas

White Bird Movie

Carpool Conversations

Christian Parenting store

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you” (John 14:25–26 NLT)

When we declare Jesus to be our Savior and commit to following him, the Holy Spirit enters us and changes our lives forever! With the Holy Spirit’s help and guidance, we can begin to live more like Jesus and display his character, learn the truth about God, receive and grow in our spiritual gifts, and have the power and courage to share our faith. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us when we believe. The Holy Spirit helps us in every aspect of our faith journey.

When it comes to our kids, let’s pray that they would position their hearts to know the Holy Spirit and hear his voice, respond to his love, and let him guide their lives.

Lord, may ______________ grow to love you more and more every day. May they feel the presence of your Holy Spirit alive in them. Make their hearts soft so they can be more responsive to you, and when the world tries to pull them away from you and your ways, may they rely on the Holy Spirit to direct their paths. Amen.

Do you have a brand you love in your house? My girls have been obsessed with all the beautiful jewelry pieces of enewton for many years. I am always intrigued when I see a mom running a massive business. My hunch was that Eizabeth Newton was a faithful, generous and fun CEO. I learned that she is even more than that!

Elizabeth shares her story of raising triplets (and a 2-year-old) in the beginning years of enewton. She shares about her passion for generosity and how that has stayed with the company through the incredible growth and expansion. She also shares some practical ways that you can involve your kids in your business while prioritizing your family above all.

She offers so many nuggets of parenting wisdom through our chat, but I really loved her parting words for us. She encourages us to “show up and give yourself grace.” I know I needed that reminder as a mom that is trying so hard to get it right. We are doing better than we think. Keep giving it your best and give yourself loads of grace! 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Juggling business and kids
• Starting a business with triplets
• Instilling faith practically in her home 
• Conflict, comparison and celebration as siblings 
• Raising independent kids 

Enjoy !

Courtney 

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and shared connections

03:18 Having fun and not taking oneself too seriously

05:28 Parenting triplets and starting a business

08:54 The growth of enewton and giving back

12:49 Prioritizing presence and grace

15:35 Creating lasting memories and prioritizing what matters

18:08 Incorporating ministry into work and family life

20:24 Celebrating others and teaching independence

25:37 Showing up for your children and giving yourself grace

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

enewton

enewton Instagram

Flourishing Families

Read Again and Again Bible Storybooks

Christian Parenting store

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16–17 NLT)

Jesus’ death on the cross gives us access to God again. It’s not just about eternal life with him, though he promises his followers that. Choosing Jesus is also about experiencing a peace that passes all understanding and building a relationship with the father right here and right now. 

Jesus took what was broken in our world and made it whole again and he can do the same for us. 

So this week let’s pray that our kids will know Jesus as the savior of the world and choose to follow him every day of their lives. Let’s pray they would come to know him as the way, the truth, and the life.

Jesus, thank you for coming to the world and sacrificing yourself for our sins. May __________ come to understand the gift of salvation, accept your grace, and choose to follow you. May they know that they cannot earn your grace, but it is a free gift that comes from the love you have for them. Amen.

Sophie Hudson aka “Boo Momma” is one of the funniest speakers and podcasters I have ever been around. Sophie has a way about sharing truth and encouragement in this most relatable way. Today, we cover key topics from Peepers (readers you need) to why Birmingham women are so classy and then we spend most of our chat time discussing women and leadership.

In this episode, she shares the hard truth that our churches and communities have not always prepared women for leadership. As moms, we so often wonder if we even have gifts? And we often don’t even see ourselves as leaders. 

This conversation is a really important one for us as women. Sophie goes into ways we can embrace our roles as women and how to walk fully and confidently in our God-given gifts.This episode is very profound and at the same time practical. You will walk away with tangible things you can do today to see yourself more clearly - how God made you a leader.

If you have sons, don’t miss the beginning part as she shares about what God is teaching her as a parent of a grown son. She has some beautiful encouragement for moms of sons and how their relationship has morphed and strengthened over time.

I am praying you feel this conversation so fired up and excited to discover your gifts and go lead with passion! I pray that through his conversation we learn to be kind to ourselves and gracious as we learn who we are. Let’s pay attention to what makes us come alive and SEE clearly how God wired us to glorify Him right where we are.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Raising sons and what’s she’s learning lately
• Why women don’t see ourselves as leaders
• How we can begin to identity our unique gifts
• How to see yourself as God sees you - finding your unique wiring 

Enjoy !

Courtney 

What brings you alive? 

00:00

Introduction and Family Background

01:37

Active Parenting and Engaging in Conversations

04:23

The Growth of Self-Awareness in Children

07:56

The Importance of Light-Heartedness in Leadership

09:11

Empowering Women in Leadership

12:13

Recognizing and Embracing Leadership Gifts

15:56

Finding Peace in Pursuing Passions

20:02

Bringing Joy and Encouragement in Everyday Life

21:17

Finding Purpose and Identity Beyond Motherhood

23:26

Embracing Your Unique Gifts and Talents

25:53

Prioritizing Personal Interests and Passions

35:31

Living a Life that Brings Joy and Glory to God

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

SophieHudson.com

Big Boo Cast

A Fine Sight To See - her newest book

Peepers

Daily Drills

HomeGoods Camp 

White Bird

Carpool Conversations Podcast

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Scripture tells us that God is like a potter and we are like the clay that he works with (Isaiah 64:8). He forms us with his hands, but he doesn’t forget about us once he is done! We are not a clay pot that sits on a shelf and is only touched when we remember to dust it every now and then. No, God continues to shape us.In fact, God loves us so much that he calls us his own! When we choose to follow Jesus, we are adopted into God’s family where there is both freedom and grace. Our father is so faithful to us that even when we don’t choose him or we run away from him, he waits for us and rejoices when we return. There is nothing we, or our kids, could ever do that would make our heavenly father love us less (or more!).So this week, let’s pray that our kids know God as the good father that he is. 

I didn’t know “swap” was a thing in podcasting. Who knew? It was an immediate YES when we got the opportunity to swap episodes with my dear friends Sissy Goff and David Thomas. You will get to hear one of their actual episodes from the Raising Boys and Girls podcast - to get a glimpse of how they support parents across the world. 

These two have helped raise my kids in some ways. I have read every book they have written and listened to every episode of their podcast. Sissy and David, with Raising Boys and Girls, offer clinical experience and grace-filled encouragement for every stage of our parenting. You will see a glimpse of their practical parenting support and tender encouragement in this episode. 

When you were growing up, did your parents pass a feelings chart around the dinner table? Or did you have healthy conversations around emotions? We’re guessing, for most of us, that’s a no—but we’d love to hear in the comments!

In case you didn’t or are just wondering what a healthy emotional vocabulary looks like for your family, this episode is the one for you! In it, Sissy and David discuss what it looks like to fold an emotional vocabulary into the life of your family, plus stumbling blocks and building blocks that are often more specific to girls and boys (and maybe mom’s and dad’s, too). We hope it helps and that you’re HAPPY and ENCOURAGED once you have a chance to listen!

Grab a copy of Are My Kids on Track? to follow along with us through the season over on our podcast, Raising Boys and Girls.

And be sure to listen for Pardon The Mess as we appear on their podcast in the next couple weeks!

Enjoy!

Courtney 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Celebrating around the Table

Politics Simplified

Resources from today’s show:

Sign up for Raising Boys & Girls monthly newsletter to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Tune into more of this series on the Raising Boys & Girls podcast

Go behind the scenes and watch Sissy & David’s podcast on YouTube!

Download a copy of the Raising Boys and Girls Feelings Chart.

Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at raisingboysandgirls.com.

The mother-daughter relationship can be the most special bond out there. However, it can also be tough in many seasons. The mother-daughter duo of Sandra Stanley and Allie Stanley Cooney are on the podcast today to give us very practical tips on ways to build, maintain and strengthen our relationships with our daughters.

As we think about the mother-daughter relationship, we can often jump to the things we need to add to our plate. We feel guilty that we aren’t doing enough. Sandra shares that we may need to actually eliminate things. We may need to limit what we do - to make room for this important relationship. 

As a mom of daughters, I absolutely loved this chat and it gave me so many great ideas I can still implement in my own home. However, if you have sons, you will still gain some great thoughts on connecting with all of your children.

My favorite part of the episode is when Allie shares about her college experience and how she made her faith her own. Her insight was really helpful to me about our kids finding their identity and how they can change from “I have to love Jesus” to “I want to love Jesus.” So many powerful moments from two of my favorite people.

In this episode:

• Creating a safe and loving environment for daughters
• How to pass on an authentic faith
• How to show interest in your child’s life

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Introduction and Mother-Daughter Similarities

03:50

Creating a Safe and Loving Environment for Daughters

07:16

Passing on Faith: Modeling and Encouraging a Personal Relationship with God

16:14

Modeling Authentic Faith

18:36

Personal Faith Journey

22:11

Staying Stable in Parenting

24:12

Being Available and Humble

28:30

Showing Interest in Your Child's Life

30:23

Adjusting Parenting Approaches

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

SandraStanley.com

Allie Stanley Instagram

Meet Me In The Middle - their new book

I Said This, You Heard That - temperament book

Parenting book by Andy and Sandra Stanley

Allie & Courtney - previous podcast episode

Have you ever had a season where you question everything about yourself? Have you found yourself in an insecure spot and wonder if you’re too late or too old? Do you wonder if you have anything to offer the world?

I have been in this place more times than I can count. Being a mom and balancing career and purpose and raising kids can be very complicated and very discouraging. It’s so very hard to discern what to do when God feels quiet and sometimes the path feels uncertain or vulnerable.

My guests today, Cari Trotter and Terri Flannagan, share their own stories about why it’s so hard to discern around career and calling. I believe their honest feelings and practical advice will encourage you in your own journey.

Please don’t miss this entire episode. It’s a little long, so you may need to listen in two parts. My favorite part is at the end when we start tackling the practical stuff. What do we do with a complicated situation? How can we take a step? How can we discern what to do in the next season?

I pray this episode meets you in such a special way. That you feel like we opened your heart and soul and spoke to a place that needs encouragement. I am insanely thankful for authentic and honest friends that love me and love Jesus. It’s a true gift.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Handling a midlife crisis, work and reinventing ourselves
• Balancing careers and raising kids
• How to discern what God has for us 
• How to fight the very loud lies that want us silent and frozen

00:00

Introduction and Entertaining Start

04:02

Talking About Fashion and Passion Projects

05:50

Midlife Crisis, Work, and Reinventing Ourselves

08:51

Introductions and Current Life Situations

11:54

Why Balancing Work and Personal Life is Hard

16:38

Discerning What's Next and Dealing with Lies

22:13

Navigating Transitions and Evaluating Priorities

25:20

Dealing with Comparison and Seeking Authenticity

27:13

Being True to Yourself and Finding Support

31:48

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

34:46

Staying Rooted and Grounded

37:13

Embracing Silence and Growth

44:34

The Journey of Faith

50:56

Redefining Success

57:45

Embracing Struggles and Failure

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

CariTrotter.com

Party On Purpose - Cari’s business with girls

Cari’s Instagram

TerriFlannagan.com

The Unreal Reel - Terri’s Instagram

You can imagine, I have been quite excited to share this episode with you all. Priscilla Shirer is one of the gifted preachers that has inspired me and challenged me so much over the years.

I was so thrilled to get a chance to interview her about her latest movie and book. The Forge, produced by The Kendrick Brothers, is set to release next week. I Surrender All, her latest book, just came out last week. 

Both of those new projects are all about surrender. How can we surrender our lives and go from being a believer to a disciple? I loved how she teaches us about that difference and how the idea of surrendering all can truly impact our faith (and our families).

Although Priscilla is a world-renowned teacher, preacher, actor and writer - she’s also a mom, just like us, giving it her very best. I love hearing about the ways her amazing parents instilled the practices of faith. She shares about their consistency and what she remembered about growing up in a house that honored God.

Don’t forget to grab your Prayer Journal! We will be starting to pray through that together on Pardon The Mess on September 9. Grab a friend or your small group and let’s commit to pray for our kids this entire school year.

In this episode, we chat about:

• The difference between being a believer and a disciple 
• How to walk through grief and hold onto your faith
• How to instill faith in our kids when they aren’t into it
• How to stay consistent with honoring God with your kids

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Priscilla Shirer - Priscilla’s ministry, Going Beyond

The Forge - Her latest movie

I Surrender All - Her latest book

Evans Family on Death & Loss

We are finishing our Summer of Stories with Nicole Zasowski. She is a counselor, author and speaker that shares her painful story of infertility and miscarriage. Many of you know too well what it’s like to embrace joy when you’ve walked through so much loss and disappointment. Nicole bravely encourages us all that it’s possible. It’s possible to find joy and practice thanksgiving even when mourning and grief is very present.

Make sure you follow along this week on Pardon The Mess Instagram page. I will share the picture of all of her kids that stopped me in my tracks. The photo was edited to feature her 3 kids on earth and her 5 kids in heaven all walking together on the beach. This photo so beautifully depicted the reality that Nicole is a mom of eight children, not just three. If you have been through loss like Nicole, I believe you will be so encouraged by her honesty about the emotions she feels and her journey with God through it all.

My favorite part is when she shares about the brain science behind negativity and joy. She shares practical ideas on how we can lean towards and practice savoring joyful moments. We can store these memories in a part of our brain that helps us recall them again and again.

Praying for each of you now, that you feel seen and heard through this episode. I pray that God meets you in the tender, broken and disappointed places of your heart. 

Much love,

Courtney 

In this episode, we chat about:

• Nicole’s journey with infertility and miscarriage
• Leaning into God with all of your emotions
• How sadness can help us find the joy
• How to practically celebrate and savor moments when life is hard

Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction and Background

03:48 Struggling with Infertility and Miscarriage

08:09 Feeling Alone and Finding Support

11:35 Journey Between Children

16:01 The Vulnerability of Joy

22:24 Holding Both Pain and Joy

24:17 The Power of Celebration

27:56 Savoring Everyday Moments

30:21 Celebration as a Rhythm

35:40 Engaging God in Joy and Pain

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

NicoleZasowski.com

Lost to Found

What If It’s Wonderful 

NLT Student Thinline Reference Bible

Hope for your Homeschool

Welcome to Week 9 of our Summer of Stories series! This Summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 

In this week’s story, you will hear from the hilarious and wise Karen Stubbs. How many people can say they married a Top Gun fighter pilot? Well, Karen married that guy we saw in the movies. However, she very quickly realized that the cute uniform wasn't that cute when he was away most days of the month.

Karen’s story is one of raising her young four kids without support. So many of you know this road - whether you are a single mom, have a husband that travels or works often or even if you live from friends and community. Karen shares the very honest truth of what God did when she felt completely alone and isolated in motherhood.

Make sure you get to the end when Karen shares about parenting very different personalities. She explains why it’s so important that we really know how our kids operate and the benefits of parenting them with strengths in mind. 

I am praying Karen’s story reaches so many moms that feel in over their heads and you find reassurance that God is with you every step of the way. Karen is now a grandmother and runs a global ministry for moms. She has mounds of wisdom and truth that you will enjoy!

In this episode, we discuss:

• How to parent alone from single parenting to a traveling husband
• How to practically survive in a world with little support and community
• When you realize your husband cannot meet your needs
• How to parent kids with unique personalities
• When your child questions their faith

Love, Courtney

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:53

Challenges of Military Life

08:01

Relying on God to Meet Needs

11:03

Impact on Children and Marriage

14:25

Understanding and Parenting According to Temperaments

20:13

Navigating the Challenges of Raising Kids in the Church

24:16

Finding Hope in Difficult Circumstances

31:49

Practical Parenting Advice from 'The Survival Guide to Motherhood'

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Birds On A Wire Moms

Wire Talk Podcast

Survival Guide to Motherhood by Karen Stubbs

Pinc Ministries with Ashley Hicks

Temperament & Personality Quiz

Parenting Together

NLT Student Thinline Reference Bible

Hope for your Homeschool

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

Welcome to Week 8 of our Summer of Stories series! This summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 

In this week’s story, you will hear from the extraordinary Cleere Cherry Reaves. It’s very likely that you have one of her beautiful products and didn’t even know it. Her massive heart for Jesus pours right into her beautiful company. I have enjoyed so many of her books, devotions and gifts for years. 

In the first part of our chat, we talked about her business and entrepreneurial spirit. So many of us moms have a creative stirring from God and we often aren’t sure what to do with that. How do we pursue a creative idea while raising kids? We often get overwhelmed and just put it aside. I’m praying that there’s a few moms listening that need to regain confidence and motivation to explore the creative ideas God put inside your heart.

The second part of our talk was my favorite! Cleere shares her story of going into labor prematurely and the miracle story that follows. Cleere’s son, Sledge, has faced so many uphill battles and has suffered more than any mom wishes on their child. Maybe you have a child with a tough diagnosis? Or you know of another mom with a motherhood journey that went differently than expected? This episode is for us all. We can all learn from Cleere’s undeniable faith and perseverance as she raises one strong and mighty boy.

Love, Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Small Talk

04:48

Creating Products that Serve a Purpose

09:36

The Challenges and Rewards of Entrepreneurship

13:03

Starting a Business with a Specific Person in Mind

16:11

Supporting and Celebrating Others in the Entrepreneurial Journey

28:12

From Challenges to Miracles: Trusting God's Plan

35:45

The Impact of Perspective on Others

37:37

Embracing Authenticity and Finding Joy

46:01

Trusting in the Character of God

49:59

The Power of Community and Support

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Cleerely Stated

Promises from the Psalms - card set I bought Ella

Unfiltered - Cleere’s new devotional

StrongHeart

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

Welcome to Week 7 of our Summer of Stories series! This Summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 

In this week’s story, you will hear from the delightful, creative and intentional Erin Burchik. She is a family friend and I have long-admired her approach to parenting. She desperately wants to enjoy each of her kids and embrace the “good ole days” of kids in the home. She will share how traveling and taking trips became a passion of hers. And she will share some super practical ways to make trips doable and affordable when you’re on a budget.

Before we get to the scoop on traveling for less, she shares her story about becoming a mom. Through many trials and some devastating financial loss, Erin has fought through doubt and frustration with God. She felt called to adopt and then it didn’t go as smoothly as she had hoped. It’s so fun to see her on the other side of this battle and see the family that God designed from the very beginning. 

My favorite part is when she explains the WHY behind their family adventures. She’s not traveling to flex on Instagram or show off or waste money. She’s traveling because she wants to create memories with her kids, to carve out time to adventure together and to get out of their comfort zone. I love her approach!

In this episode, we discuss:

• Erin’s journey to motherhood - foster care and adoption
• How to find community with other adopted families
• How to exchange gifts for experiences at Christmas
• How to find creative ways to do big trips on a little budget

Enjoy!!

Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

04:02

The Journey of Adoption

08:57

Building a Supportive Community

18:13

Creating Lasting Memories

20:05

Santa Bringing Christmas Trips

22:10

Maximizing Credit Card Points

25:29

Saving Thousands on Family Trips

28:21

Benefits of Traveling with Kids

30:15

Building Independence and Confidence

33:31

Enjoying Motherhood and Savoring the Moments

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

StrongHeart

Erin’s Instagram

Erin’s travel site - Points For Families

Erin’s book - Animals of the Nativity

Erin’s book - The Bear Hug

TBRI for families that have adopted

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

When I engage with young moms, I often get asked a lot about alcohol. These women are wanting me to give them an “official answer” about how a Christian woman should handle alcohol. And I often don’t have the specific answer they want - because it is so often in the gray area. And only the person asking the question knows what’s going on under the issue.

Today’s story is about a mom that got curious about her relationship with alcohol in her early 30s. As you hear her story, you will be inspired to take an honest assessment and just get curious about your relationship with alcohol. She called it “getting sober minded.” 

Although I don’t drink - I have my own vices which we discuss. I joke about my love of the phone, cookie dough and TJMaxx. If I’m honest, I often use those to outsource my comfort. This isn’t an episode for moms that drink - this is an episode for all of us. 

My favorite part is when Jenn shares about the benefits of operating in a sober mind. She reminds us that being present with our kids is worth the fight. Let’s lean into Jenn’s story together and be brave enough to hear what God is nudging us to do in response. 

Don’t forget to check in our Jenn’s community called Sober Sis and utilize all of the fantastic resources that are helping thousands of women become sober-minded and enjoy this life to the fullest!

In this episode we chat about: 

• Jenn’s journey with alcohol and finding a sober-minded life
• How to pay attention to what God is saying to us directly
• How to get curious about areas of addiction in our lives
• How to fight for presence with our families 

00:00

Introduction and Connection

02:33

Early Years and Introduction to Social Drinking

05:46

The Influence of Mommy Wine Culture

07:41

Outsourcing Comfort and Dealing with Anxiety

09:44

Questioning the Relationship with Drinking

12:30

Understanding the Mindset and Motivations Behind Drinking

19:28

Questioning Your Relationship with Drinking

21:57

Introduction: Jenn's Journey of Sobriety

25:08

The Importance of Addressing the Root Cause

28:40

Taking the First Step: Sobriety Curiosity

33:28

Shifting Mindset: Gaining, Not Giving Up

39:11

The Power of Community in Sobriety

42:59

Personal Growth and Sobriety

45:07

Conclusion: Encouragement for Moms

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

•  Sober Sis Home Page - 
• ​Happy Hour Survival Guide - Free Guide
• ​21 Day Reset Challenge 
• Sober Sis - Facebook 
• ​Sober Sis - Instagram
• ​​Sober Sis 2024 Retreat 
• ​ Look Alive, Sis! by Jenn Kautsch (book) - Little Habits, Big Faith

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

Happy July 4th!

This week’s story features my friend, Stacey Morgan, who is an astronaut’s wife! Her life is truly fascinating. Her family is currently living in the Marshall Islands which is 5 hours south of Hawaii. 

Stacey honestly shares the truth about loneliness. She has had to start over multiple times as a military spouse. I love her hard truth about loneliness: we have to make the first move. She also shares how her kids are thriving as they were uprooted from the cultural norm in Texas, and now live on an island with 1,200 people total. They are learning valuable life lessons about what’s most important.

My favorite part is at the very end when she talks about her top learning as a mom of over 20 years. Her encouragement to “let go” was really timely for me. I am having trouble letting go of my oldest who is a rising senior. I need that reminder over and over again. 

In this episode, we chat about:

• How to navigate marriage when you are both strong leaders
• How to start over when you move into a new city (or island! :)
• Why community matters in motherhood
• How to make friends as an adult woman 
• What to do when you’re deeply lonely

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:47

Moving to the Marshall Islands

05:58

Supporting a Spouse's Career

11:04

Living in a Small Community

15:01

Transition and Loneliness

23:57

Supporting Military Spouses and Moms

26:30

The Importance of Community for Military Families

31:16

MomCo: Supporting Military Moms

39:19

Lessons in Trust and Letting Go

44:28

The Power of Grace and Understanding in Parenting

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Stacey Morgan’s site 

Stacey’s Instagram

Stacey’s Book: The Astronaut’s Wife

MomCo - Military Meetups

How to start an online MomCo group

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

If she wasn’t one of my best friends, I don’t know if I would believe this story. However, it is true and real and incredibly powerful. My friend, Kylie White, was fully healed from near blindness. Her story and her miracle has exploded my faith the last several years. It has given me courage to pray bigger prayers. 

I will never be over what God did for Kylie. Even though I’ve heard this story many times, I heard even more details during this conversation which exploded my faith yet again. God is so good. I’m truly excited for us all to have this reminder today through Kylie’s story.

My favorite part is hearing how she got to the miracle day. Listen closely as she shares the years leading up to her miracle. Lean into what God was pressing on her heart. And let’s lean into what God wants to say to you through her story. What is He asking you to release and surrender? What miracle do you believe is too far gone? 

In this episode, we chat about:

• Kylie’s miracle story and healing 
• How we can trust God and lean in when we don’t understand the full story
• How to parent the pain endured with adoption
• How to love our kids unconditionally 

Don’t forget to share the Summer of Stories with your friends - so that they can also be reminded that: God is good. You are not alone. And He is with you during life’s hardest moments.

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

03:35

Adoption and Navigating Challenges

06:45

Parenting and Unconditional Love

09:40

Experiencing a Modern-Day Miracle

28:13

Asking for Healing

30:14

Miraculous Healing

35:23

Confirmation of Healing

39:26

Orphan Prevention and Untold

42:19

Lessons Learned as a Parent

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Become a Christian Parenting Legacy Builder

Resources from today’s show:

Kylie’s Instagram

Kylie’s blog

Untold - Nonprofit Kylie supports

Father’s House - Bible study by Rachel

Welcome to Week 3 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.

I need everyone to take a massive deep breath before listening. And listen to the entire episode, not just the first few minutes. This is not a political episode. This is a story of one incredible mom, Amy Ford, that chose to keep her baby boy after an unplanned pregnancy and the God-sized story that followed. 

My favorite part is when she shares about her love for the women that walk with the shame of abortion. She is for all women and all stories. And she walks closely with women who have endured every part of the unplanned pregnancy journey. 

I am praying deeply that this story reaches an untold number of women and heals their hearts in a special way. And that we may join together and support women with unplanned pregnancies in the way God would. That we would love them deeply. 

Don't forget to share this episode with women in your community that need encouragement and healing around unplanned pregnancies.

In this episode we chat about: 

• Amy’s unplanned pregnancy 
• Amy’s encouragement for those who live with shame of abortion
• How to create a safe and supportive church environment with unplanned pregnancies
• How to turn towards God in some of life’s biggest mistakes or struggles

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Amy's Family

03:34

The Love Box and Volunteer Opportunities

06:08

The Rejection from a Pastor and the Healing Journey

09:21

The Impact of Amy's Story on Her Son

14:35

Creating a Safe and Supportive Church Environment

19:28

Healing and Hope After Abortion

22:26

Creating Safe Spaces in Churches for Unexpected Pregnancies

26:34

Taking Small Steps of Obedience

29:15

Celebrating Women Who Turn Towards God

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Become a Christian Parenting donor

Resources from today’s show:

Amy Ford

Embrace Grace

A Bump In Life

Love Box

Support After Abortion

For our Summer of Stories, I got the pleasure of interviewing a dear friend Rachel Faulkner Brown about her incredibly hard and beautiful life. In the first half of this episode, we talk about her journey with losing two husbands and walking that grief journey twice. She shares so much wisdom for other widows as well as practical tips for all of us enduring life’s toughest pain.

In the second half of our chat, Rachel bravely shares about their family’s most recent struggle - an eating disorder that quickly took a grip on her daughter. She provides invaluable insight and practical advice from the deeply painful journey they have walked.

My favorite part of the interview is when she shares honestly about the shame we can feel as mothers. As she watched her daughter walk through the hardest season of her life - she was also faced with a choice to hold onto that control or release her to God. We all have these moments in parenting and we can learn so much from Rachel’s incredible faith journey.

I’m so thrilled for you to get to know Rachel. She is a dear friend and a woman that has experienced God’s goodness throughout some of the deepest pain in her life. You will be inspired by her calling to pass on the love of God and hope to others’ in their darkest days.

In this episode, we chat about:

• How to practically move forward when you lose your spouse
• How to wrestle with God when horribly hard things happen
• How to lean into God when life is upside down
• How to love our kids when it’s hard and you must release control
• How to parent a child with an eating disorder

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

10:46

The Importance of Honesty and Community

30:28

The Need for Aggressive Treatment

39:07

The Healing Journey and Future Hope

48:17

Prayer and Encouragement for Mothers

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Never Alone Widows 

Father's House Bible Study

There is More podcast 

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Reverend Joanne Moody

St. Teresa of Avila Quote

Healing prayer - resource 1

Healing prayer - resource 2

Welcome to week 1 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.

Today’s guest is my dear friend, Joy Phenix, who bravely shares her journey of losing her amazing son. Her story of loss and indescribable grief is so very hard to hear but oddly peaceful and sacred. 

My favorite part is when she encourages us to be a student of others’ grief journey. Every single person grieves at different times and in different ways. We cannot judge our friends or family members on that journey. This takes patience and grace and understanding. 

This episode is for anyone walking in grief - not just the loss of a child. All of us have seasons of tragedy and unthinkable hard times. We want to know how to trust God again and how to move forward in the midst of the pain. Joy will touch your heart in a profound way. I am deeply thankful for her willingness to share her story to help others. 

In this episode we chat about: 

• How to endure the indescribable journey of losing a child
• How we can help and support friends in their grief 
• How to remember each person grieves differently and at unique times
• How to normalize talking about grief through the process 

00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

09:16

The Power of Community in Times of Loss

15:30

Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith

28:25

Cherishing Memories and Finding Healing

34:38

Vulnerability and Trust in Difficult Times

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Josh’s Celebration Service

Joy’s Instagram

Body Keeps The Score

Comedian Michael Jr went from living in his car to one of the most influential and talented comedians in the country. In fact, he used to open the show for Jerry Seinfeld and went on to headline his own shows. He is now sharing the stage with his wife, Ebony, as they focus on strengthening marriages across the country.

This engaging couple shares many great pieces of wisdom and insight during our episode, but I really enjoyed how they speak about conflict. It’s so easy to avoid conflict at all costs. They encourage us to utilize conflict for the greatness of marriage 

My favorite part (or least favorite) was when Michael Jr. asked me to share honestly about a recent disagreement I had with Ron. He went through the list of the fruit of the Spirit to see how I was handling a specific situation. And I bombed his test. It was embarrassing, but really challenged me on how I handle conflict. I love their hearts for marriage. They have a passion to remind couples that marriage is GOOD and it does work.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How easy it is to drift in marriage when kids are in the home
• How to keep your marriage a priority and intentionally connect
• How to utilize conflict instead of avoiding it

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Family Background

04:04

Letting Go and Trusting God with Our Children

08:54

Faith as a Consistent and Visible Part of Family Life

23:53

Merging Talents to Help Couples Find Joy in Marriage

29:19

Revealing Areas of Freedom Through Conflict

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Funny How Marriage Works

Assessment for your conflict resolution 

Emotions Wheel

Funny How Marriage Works Tour

Happy almost Summer!! I am delighted to share the story of Sarah Harmeyer and her love for gathering neighbors. You will be so fascinated by her story of creating a table and setting out to have people over. Over time, she hosted thousands of people just one night at a time. She absolutely inspired me to get back out there and invite folks to my home. 

You will be inspired and motivated and so very touched how God used Sarah’s life to start a movement called “Neighbor’s Table.” He took a nudge in her heart and kept expanding it across the country.

My favorite part was at the end when we talked about her current living situation with her aging father. She is so tender and so gracious with his walk with Alzheimers. I pray that I handle my own parents with such care and compassion one day.

In this episode we chat about: 

• How a simple dinner party created a movement
• Why your neighbors need community 
• What an invitation can do for an individual
• How we can preach less and simply love more
• How to care for aging parents with compassion

Chapters00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

10:01

Stories of Love and Connection Around the Table

22:59

Building Relationships with New Neighbors and Introducing Sarah's Dad

27:02

Caring for Aging Parents with Love and Compassion

30:53

Closing Remarks and Action Items

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Sarah’s Instagram

Neighbor’s Table

Invite Sarah to Speak

Table Talk Questions - source Close To My Heart

Kindness Diaries with Leon

Leon Logothetis

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20

We’ve spent this school year praying for our kids to be marked by the things of God. We’ve prayed that they live with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.

Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love.

The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.

We’re God’s Plan A for spreading the gospel. There’s no backup plan, there’s no contingency, and there’s nobody else to tag in for our spot.

But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles.

Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.

Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids will be marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.

Lord, thank you for the gift of my children and the privilege of praying over them this school year. Please mark their lives with a determination to fulfill the mission you created for them before they were ever born. Give [name] the wisdom to pursue you every day and a spirit of urgency in following your plans for their life. 

God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 2:9; Mark 16:15; 1 Peter 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:13–14

When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid. 

Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally. 

Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents. 

My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes. 

In this episode we chat about: 

• When to see a therapist or counselor
• Why counseling is so important for families 
• Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew

Chapters:

00:00

Introduction and Personal Connection

01:36

Dr. Cassie Reed's Background and Passion

08:35

Recognizing the Need for Professional Help

10:06

Finding Affordable Therapy Options

12:55

The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children

14:36

Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior

22:26

Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children

23:49

Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children

26:19

The Impact of Technology on Children's Mental Health

27:10

Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents

29:04

Dr. Cassie Reid's Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

CassieReid.com

Cassie’s Instagram

Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid

Come Home

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

My Daddy’s Hero

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” —1 Samuel 7:12

The Israelites were in desperate need of a victory against the Philistines. Just as they were convincing themselves it was a lost cause, Samuel cried out to God and received an answer in the form of deafening thunder that scared away the enemy and secured an Israelite victory.

Orthodox battle move? No. God protecting his people? Absolutely.

No sooner than they finished their victory lap, Samuel stopped everyone in their tracks to make a critical point. He grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.”

Samuel knew their battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.

Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy. 

What are the Ebenezers in your family? Where do you need to start laying down stones as reminders to your family that God’s faithfulness in the past shows he’s trustworthy for the future?

Lord, remind us to always pass down the stories of your faithfulness. Mark [name] with a good memory of your provision, giving them confidence to trust your heart when they can’t see your hand. Help us to celebrate the places where you’ve given us victory, making a lasting memorial of your faithfulness for generations to come.

God’s word speaks: Deuteronomy 7:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Lamentations 3:22–23; Psalm 86:15

If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day.

My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.  

My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life.

In this episode we chat about: 

• How to live this one life well
• How to push against busy and impossibly full schedules
• How to pay attention to what your soul craves 
• How to help your hurting friends 

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey

Farrell’s new book: Soulfull

Come Home

Chapters:

00:00

Introduction and Connection

09:50

Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time

16:22

Commitment to Intentional Living

32:21

Finding Hope in Difficult Times

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” —Philippians 2:3–4

We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit. Humility is not ignoring their giftings, but it’s teaching them to be willing to use them in a way that draws attention to the Giver of the gift rather than the gift itself. Humility is also not a call to raise silent or passive kids. Rather, it’s teaching them a quiet and meek spirit before God.

Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story. He was righteously indignant when necessary but gentle and loving in leading his flock.

We’re praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admitting their mistakes, and recognizing that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).

Lord, you’re the perfect model of living humbly while making a kingdom impact on those around you. Give [name] a spirit of humility and the desire to bring you glory, even when it comes with no acknowledgment. Help them to honor others above themselves and to live in your confidence so they don’t need praise or acceptance from others.

God’s word speaks: Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; James 4:10; Colossians 3:12

Do you have regrets as a parent? We all do! I have a long list myself. I thought it would be encouraging and super helpful for me to share just a few of my own regrets in the last 17 years of parenting. I asked Kari Kampakis to share her own regrets in this podcast episode. 

I have always loved Kari’s relatable and authenticity as a writer, podcaster and speaker. When I read her encouragement for moms - I feel like she has read my mind. She has a real gift for walking with moms so that we feel so seen. When you encounter Kari, you feel uplifted and equipped but never condemned or shamed. 

My favorite part is when she shares about how to love strong-willed children well. She shares a powerful story of how her husband approached her strong-willed daughter vs her approach. There’s such humility that pours from Kari when she speaks. It gives us all the permission to be honest about our mistakes. And to have the courage to pivot as we discover a better way. 

In this episode we chat about: 

• Raising strong-willed kids
• How to decide if you should have another child
• How to make health a priority in your home from the start

00:00

Introduction and Getting to Know Each Other

06:21

Parenting the Heart vs. Focusing on Behavior

13:05

Finding Joy in Every Season of Parenthood

29:39

Trusting God to Fill in the Gaps in Parenting

35:56

Delaying Cell Phone Use and Monitoring Social Media

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

KariKampakis.com

Kari’s book: Love Her Well

Kari’s book: More Than a Mom

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” —1 Corinthians 9:24

The Christian life is more like a marathon than a sprint, requiring significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. From the day we accept Christ until we see him face-to-face, we’re continually building up endurance so we can best run the race set out for us.

Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race. We build up our endurance practically by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship.

What a GIFT to have author and speaker (and track coach) Dorina Gilmore-Young on with us chatting about endurance. I absolutely loved her perspective as a widow, mom and coach - how endurance is something God produces in our kids through trials. We can pray for that process - that they may endure life’s hardships with Jesus as their strength.

Let’s challenge our kids to run well so they will hear Jesus say at the finish line, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).

Lord, before you created even one of us, you set us apart for your purposes. Give [name] the endurance to run the race you have planned for their life. Help them to stay the course when they run up against obstacles along the way, reminding them of the importance of putting in the daily work so they are prepared for anything they face.

God’s word speaks: Philippians 3:14; Romans 5:3–4; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 10:36

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Are you struggling with where your child should go to school? This common fear and worry can grip us all. We want so desperately to make the right choice for each of our kids. It can also be confusing when your friends all have different opinions on the matter or maybe your spouse is in disagreement with your plan. 

You will feel extremely encouraged by today’s episode with Terry Ann Kelly. She has practical advice for these decisions as well as grounding truths to calm our hearts. She is a grandmother, wife and mom and has many years of experience with schools. As the founder of Students Standing Strong, she has seen first hand that God can do anything with any child and any school.

My favorite part is the story she shares about her son at the end. It is so refreshing to hear a very personal example of how God can use each of our kids in the most powerful ways at school every day. 

In this episode we chat about: 

• How to seek God in tough school decisions
• How to bring your faith into the public school setting
• How to call your kiddos higher in loving their classmates

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Students Standing Strong

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” —1 Peter 4:10

As we wrap up the greatest commandment, we’re focused on how to love God with all of our strength. Contrary to how it sounds, loving God with all of our strength is not a reference to our physical strength. The Hebrew word used for strength in the context of the greatest commandment is me’od, which is translated as “much” or “very.”

Loving God with all of our strength is loving God with our “much-ness.” It’s using our possessions, our time, our talents, our parenting, our volunteering—everything we’ve got—to love God and live for him. Said differently, wherever the Lord has planted you and with whatever resources he’s provided, use all your strength to love him smack-dab in the middle of it all.

As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their strength, we’re praying that they use all of their party-planning skills, math aptitude, athleticism, and social media acumen for God’s greatest glory. It’s taking the seemingly small places in their life and asking the Lord to use it in every possible way for his bigger purposes.

Spend time this week asking the Lord to use your kids’ gifts to bring God glory. Pray that he uses them for his greater purposes right where he has them, teaching them to love the Lord with all of their much-ness and strength.

Lord, thank you for all the gifts and talents you’ve given our family. I pray that you will guide my children to use these gifts generously for your glory. With all of the much-ness you’ve given [name], remind them to serve those around them as they learn to love you with all of their strength. 

God’s word speaks: Hebrews 13:16; Proverbs 11:24–25; Deuteronomy 16:17; Colossians 3:23

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.

It’s not often you get to interview a college kid about growing up as a Christian. The Stites are family friends of ours and a family we admire and respect so very much. I am often asking them for advice since they are ahead of the game by a few years. 

Today’s episode is a chat with their son, Campbell, who is studying political science at Texas A&M University. He has always been a leader and I have absolutely loved watching God grow his faith during his first year in college. He’s making some wise choices that we can all learn from.

My favorite part of the episode is when he encourages parents to get interested in their child's interests. He shares about how his mom invested in his interests and helped foster a super close mom/son relationship. 

In this episode we discuss:

• How to make faith a priority in college
• The power of friends and your circle
• How to let boys have freedom vs controlling them
• The gift of allowing your teens to fail

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:5

As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their minds, we have to consider that our mind is made up of our thoughts. So, in order to love God with all of our minds, we have to think about what fills our minds and how it impacts the way we love God.

Our thoughts are significant because they have the potential to grow our love for God or distract and pull us away from a relationship with him and his great plans for our life. The Enemy loves to get a hold of our thoughts and make us question God’s goodness and protection in our life.

For our kids to love God with all of their minds, we’re praying that they “take captive” all the thoughts that are destructive, not instructive. This process of taking captive their thoughts is accomplished by knowing God’s word so that their thoughts are weighed against the truth of Scripture. 

It also comes by considering what’s going into their minds and how that’s fueling (or lessening) their love for God. It’s praying that they evaluate the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the voices they allow to speak into their lives. 

Since our kids’ thoughts have the greatest impact on loving God with all of their minds, let’s take time to pray over their thoughts and ask God to help them take each one captive. 

Lord, teach us to love you in all of the different areas of our life, including our minds. If our minds are made up of our thoughts, teach us to take captive our thoughts and bring them in line with your truth. Be with [name], helping them to guard what they allow into their minds so that it always honors you.

God’s word speaks: Isaiah 26:3; Jeremiah 33:3; Colossians 3:2–3; 1 Peter 1:13

What a treat to talk to Adrienne Camp about how she is trusting God with her kids.  Adrienne “Adie” Camp, a South African singer and songwriter, was the lead singer of the Christian rock band The Benjamin Gate before launching her solo career. She is married to fellow musician Jeremy Camp, whom she met on tour in 2002. They have been married since 2003 and have two daughters, Bella and Arie, and one son, Egan. 

Throughout this entire episode, you will hear Adrienne’s heart to connect people in a very tangible way with Jesus. However, she acknowledges that we don’t always feel excited about that. Sometimes, we are sitting in a real place of doubt, frustration and disbelief. No matter where you are on your faith journey (or your kids) - I think you will feel so encouraged by Adrienne’s words and wisdom. 

In this episode we discuss:

• The desire to protect our kids from mistakes
• The real grief experienced when you launch a child 
• Getting honest with God - all our feelings and emotions included doubt and anger

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

As For Me - Adrienne’s latest bible study on Psalms 

Even Me - Adrienne’s book with her girls about their journey to Africa

Adrienne Camp’s Instagram 

Pardon the Mess episode with Jonathan and Peta Pitts

Christian Parenting Store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024)

“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” —Mark 8:36

Loving God with all of our soul sounds very important, but what exactly is our soul?

Our soul lies deep down inside of us and is our very core. It’s the invisible part of us that connects us with God. It is where we are most at home, and it’s the most fundamental driver of who we are from the inside out. If you strip away all of our outward actions and how we choose to portray ourselves (or how others may define us), the soul is our truest self.

To love the Lord with all of our soul, we’ve got to be faithful in private. We’ve got to be devoted to the things that drench our soul in Jesus and be willing to drop the things that don’t. It’s spending time in prayer confessing what’s in our soul, not just in our mind. 

As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their souls this week, let’s pray that they learn to love him with the very core of who they are—not by what they intellectually believe about him, or how they serve him, or what they communicate to others by their faith, but truly learning to love Jesus from the core of their being. 

Pray for the Lord to reveal the depths of their soul and teach them how to love him with all that they are. 

Lord, we confess to spending a disproportionate amount of time worrying about our earthly bodies, usually at the expense of our soul. Please teach [name] how to love you from their very core, giving priority to the only part of us that will live eternally. 

God’s word speaks: Psalm 119:81; Psalm 63:8; Deuteronomy 4:29; Matthew 10:28

I am taking a guess that 100% of us are exhausted. And this is beyond the physically tired feeling. You all will love the encouragement and wisdom on today’s episode by Jess Connolly. I have always loved her teaching and preaching - because she balances compassion and truth so well. She doesn’t leave us sitting in the challenges - she provides biblical, practical and realistic ways we can move forward in this issue.

This idea of burnout and an unsustainable pace is not new information. We know we are in it but are not sure why or how to stop it as parents? So what do we do? Tune in to this week’s podcast chat with Jess - you won’t feel shame - you will feel equipped and encouraged to do the hard work of rest. We all know our souls are crying for it.

I was so absolutely amused at the start of our conversation when I asked her about her cold plunge obsession. Is anyone else into the idea of purposely jumping into ice cold water? She actually gives a pretty compelling case to try it.

• Jess’ story of emotional, physical and spiritual breakdown
• How to tend to your soul and stop feeling so defeated 
• How to break the cycle of surviving vs thriving 
• How can we respond to God’s invitation to rest

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

JessConnolly.com

Tired of Being Tired - Jess’ new book

Raising Mentally Strong Kids

Christian Parenting store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024)

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” —Mark 12:30

Remember the lawyer who tried to trick Jesus by asking him to name the greatest commandment? (Lawyers, am I right?)

Jesus, knowing this guy’s antics, responded with, “Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” If we break it down, what does it look like to love God with all of our heart?

Our heart is not just critical to our health; it’s also the epicenter of our spiritual life. It’s central to our thoughts and actions, where we spend money, and even the words that come out of our mouths. When Jesus talks about loving God with all our heart, he’s referencing our emotions and decisions. 

In order for us to love God with all of our hearts, we have to prioritize spending time with him and in his word. When we spend time with God, we start wanting to do the things that are pleasing to God and we care about the things that he cares about. Having time with our creator enables us to know what he wants for our lives, and we can’t help but pursue him and the things he values and wants for our families.

Let’s pray this week that our kids learn to love God with all of their hearts, beginning with prioritizing time with him and pursuing him in all that they do.

Lord, teach us to show our love for you, not just with our words, but with our lifestyle. Lead [name] to prioritize time in your word and learn to pursue you in all that they do. Remind us that loving you means also loving our neighbor. Make us aware of the needs we can meet around us.

God’s word speaks: 1 John 4:7–8; 1 Corinthians 13:13; John 13:34; 1 John 4:19

There’s not a day that goes by that I do not hear these same sentiments from a mom. And I have been there many times.

• I feel so lost.
• I don’t know what to do with my life.
• I feel overlooked and unseen.
• I feel like I don’t dream or use my gifts.

In this episode, I get the pleasure of having a real life heart chat with my friend (and my Life Plan Coach) Brooke Warnock. She shares about her journey of raising 5 kids on a ranch - while wanting to use her unique gifts for the Lord. It can be a huge struggle for all of us.

My favorite part is how honest she is about the struggle of using your gifts and raising kids. She will make you feel so seen as she shares her journey. I pray you feel so very encouraged that this is not the end of your story. 

In some ways, the motherhood years are just the beginning. If you don’t have your exact calling and purpose figured out - do not feel discouraged. I pray you never forget that God will use every bit of you and your giftings to raise those kids and build your home. 

In this episode we discuss: 

• What to do when you feel trapped and unseen at home
• How to bring your gifts and talents into your home, not just your vocation
• How to dream and redefine your life while embracing the seasons of parenting

What is wrong? What is right? What is confused? What is missing?

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

BrookeWarnock.com

Brooke’s free assessment

LifePlan with Brooke

Paterson LifePlan

Lost Valley Ranch

If Gathering

Blue Zones Documentary

Raising Mentally Strong Kids

Our Scripture Affirmation Cards are the perfect gifts for your kid’s Easter Baskets!

Brooke’s challenge to ask these questions:

What is wrong? What is right? What is confusing? What is missing?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” —Galatians 5:22–23 

As we celebrate Easter, we have the opportunity to pray that the power of the cross impacts every area of our kids’ lives. It is an incredible assurance knowing that, by accepting Jesus, our kids have a new eternal destination. But we’re also praying for a daily life transformation.

When our kids become Christians, we should begin looking for (and hopefully seeing) fruit in their lives. Jesus said those who follow him will produce spiritual fruit, and it’s by this fruit you will know them (Matthew 7:20).

In Galatians, Paul describes some attributes of a life without Christ, including anger, idolatry, jealousy, selfishness, impurity, and strife. In contrast, with Christ we start to see the spiritual fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Thankfully, this is not simply a checklist of things we’re constantly trying to achieve. Instead, it’s produced by allowing the Holy Spirit to work within us.

Without even trying, our kids will produce fruit that’s visible to the world around them. This fruit can either be produced by the Holy Spirit or produced by their own spirit. Our prayer is that our kids will submit to the Holy Spirit’s leadership, resulting in less of their own fruit and more of his.

This week, let’s pray that Easter Sunday impacts the way our kids live on Monday and that they produce fruit that leads others to trust Jesus and his great sacrifice at the cross.

He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Lord, thank you for your sacrifice at the cross. Allow our gratitude for the significance of Easter to impact how we live every day. Grow our kids in obedience and holiness, naturally leading them to produce spiritual fruit. Help [name] to submit to your Holy Spirit in both the small and big ways, making their life a clearer reflection of you.

God’s word speaks:  Matthew 7:17–18; Romans 8:6; Ephesians 4:1–3; Romans 15:13

As soon as I heard about Jenna’s passion for JOY in the home - I knew I wanted to have her on the podcast. Parenting is hard, but there is a way to still bring joy into the everyday messes of motherhood. 

I absolutely loved her encouragement on how to get intentional about redirecting our attitudes, conversations and outlook to one that is joy. She reminds us we do have control of our mind - and we can reframe how we see all the tiny annoyances and messes. This doesn’t mean we never get down or get honest with the hard - it’s just an encouragement to not let negativity and frustration ruin some very special years as a mom.

My kids would tell you I’m quite moody, but I do see the difference in our home when I find the good and let go of the tiny frustrations. My mood really impacts the home I’ve often called myself the CMO - Chief Mood Officer. Do you sense that your mood can often set the tone and even help redirect to joy?

My favorite part is when we talk about community. Are you surrounding yourself with other parents that only complain? What can you do in those moments when everyone is complaining about their kids? 

In this episode we discuss:

• Jenna’s journey with postpartum depression
• How to find the good and joy in the everyday (even when it’s hard)
• Practical ways to bring fun and joy into the mess

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Jenna’s site

Jenna’s podcast

Listener Kids YouTube Channel

Register for Camp WinShape

What a GIFT to have my dear friend Cari Trotter to pray for us this week about the armor of God. I was so incredibly blessed by our time and needed the chat and prayer myself.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” —Ephesians 6:11–12

Most of us don’t spend a lot of time contemplating how to fight against the devil’s schemes, but Scripture does. Thankfully, Jesus has already won our ultimate battle by his death on the cross and resurrection from the grave. But, even then, there will still be trouble in this world because we have a real Enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).

As we face the visible (and often invisible) battles each day, Satan’s success hinges on catching us unprepared and with our guard down. Let’s pray that our kids are battle-ready by wearing the armor of God, as seen in Ephesians 6:13–17:

• The belt of truth: Pray that God’s truth will defeat the enemy’s lies in their lives.
• The breastplate of righteousness: Pray that they withstand attacks of impurity and wrongdoing by clinging to righteousness.
• Feet fitted with the gospel of peace: Pray for a willingness to go and share the gospel.
• The shield of faith: Pray for protection from doubt, fear, and anxiety.
• The helmet of salvation: Pray for a mind controlled by God.
• The sword of the Spirit: Pray that God’s word is their offense, knowing it’s sharper than any sword.

Lord, the battles waged against our kids will be difficult and often unseen. Help them to be ready for anything they face through your protection and power. Mark [name] with a readiness that only comes from you. Prepare them with every tool necessary for victory in your name.

God’s word speaks: Ephesians 6:13–17; 1 Thessalonians 5:6; 1 Peter 5:8; 1 Corinthians 16:13

If you know Carlos Whittaker, you love him. I have long admired his work in the world. He is honest, brave, vulnerable and simply loves walking with people. I find myself frustrated with the evangelical world when I see such divisiveness around tough topics and a dogmatic stance on every issue. Carlos encourages us that it’s possible to hold your belief and disagree with others in a way that draws people in.

My favorite part is when we talk about his approach to parenting. His desire is that we have more conversations of hope than conversations of despair. This was a good caution for all of us - as we see so much in our culture that causes stress and worry. 

In this episode, we also discuss:

• How to walk with people not stand on issues 
• How to raise less self-righteous kids that really see people
• How to model kindness and create empathy in our kids
• How to raise little world changers

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Carlos’ Instagram

Get Your Hope Up - Carlos’ new devotional for kids

Learn more about WinShape Camps!

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” —1 Peter 1:6–7

The final stage in gold production is refinement, the process of using heat to remove impurities from metal. After the gold is refined, only the most valuable qualities remain because the impurities and lesser qualities have been eliminated.

Scripture says that God is refining us. Even though we’re created in his exact image, we are free-willed human beings riddled with sin and impurities that don’t line up with who we were created to be. Just as the refinement of gold takes place in the heat of fire, refinement in our own lives often happens in the “furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10).

As parents, we want to keep our kids from the hard places, so we find ourselves stepping in when they face difficulties. But what if God is working most significantly in the hard places in their lives? What if changing their circumstances prevents God from changing their heart?

As we’re praying for our kids to be marked by refinement, let’s not ask God to remove their obstacles but rather to remove their impurities. Let’s pray that when the heat intensifies, our kids learn to trust that the One who allows the fire will also bring them through it.

Lord, you refine us so that we are cleansed from unrighteousness and become a purer version of who you created us to be. We ask you to take all of the difficulties and trials that [name] will face and use them as an opportunity to see a clearer picture of you. Thank you for loving us too much to leave us as we are. Refine us for your glory. 

God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 1:6–7; Zechariah 13:9; Romans 8:18; Job 23:10

I am still thinking about this episode and this thought-provoking conversation with Jen Wilkin. I wish I could bribe every single one of you (and your spouse and small group) to listen to this episode. Jen is a self-taught theologian that speaks about the Bible and Christianity in a way that we can all understand. 

I believe you will be motivated to dive into your Bible and engage in more conversations about it. She challenges us to go beyond the one-way conversation that is Sunday morning and sermons. I learned so much from her breakdown of common misconceptions about faith and theology. 

My favorite part is towards the end during our discussion on parenting and faith. Her answers gave me some freedom and a sigh of relief. She also gave some very practical ways we can start the conversation of faith and Jesus with our little ones.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is theology and Bible literacy and why is it important
• What is the benefit of learning the Bible for ourselves 
• Why community and conversations propel us faster and further
• Why it’s crucial to model faith conversations for our kids

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Jen Wilkin’s site

Jen’s podcast

Women of the Word

You are a Theologian

Register for Camp WinShape

Our brand-new Scripture Affirmation Cards

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.’” —Matthew 16:24–25

“I Surrender All” is a classic hymn that gained notoriety when Rev. Billy Graham began using it as the invitation song during his revivals. The words have such a great message for walking with Jesus:

All to Jesus I surrender, all to him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust him, in his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,

All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.

Surrender is the antithesis of trying to “work” our way into a right relationship with God. A surrendered life allows the Spirit of God to enter into us, shaping us into something greater than we could be on our own. 

The first and most significant act of surrender we can pray over our kids’ is their choice to surrender to the lordship of Christ by accepting Jesus as their savior. But, even after our kids have accepted Christ, we can pray that they surrender their words, plans, dreams, finances, and relationships to the Lord. 

Pray for our kids to have the discipline to surrender all they are to the Lord each day, committing to live in a way that’s pleasing and brings him glory. 

Lord, you become more when we become less. Please guide [name] to accept you as their Savior and surrender their lives to your glory. Help them know that surrendering to you is a lifelong process as they trust you with their burdens, fears, dreams, and aspirations.

God’s word speaks: Philippians 2:13; James 4:7; John 3:30; Psalm 32:8

Do you ever get overwhelmed with how to talk to your young kids about hard topics? I have been there. And sometimes, I actually disengage or ignore important topics because it feels too hard. I don’t want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Diversity is one of those topics that matters. It matters to God and it matters to me. Trillia Newbell is the perfect guest for this conversation. She was looking for a resource to guide her discussions with our own kids and couldn’t find it. So, she wrote “God’s Very Good Idea” to center the discussion of diversity around the gospel. 

In this chat, we also discuss another hard topic with our kids -  bullying and loneliness. We talk about the importance of friendship for our kids and how we can turn our kids to Jesus in these moments.

My favorite part is when Trillia reminds us that the teaching is coming. Either culture is going to teach our kids or we need to get ahead of that messaging. It’s so very important that we frame tough topics with a biblical point of view and Trilia helps us do that so well.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How to teach our kids about diversity from a biblical perspective 
• How to discern between bullying and unkindness 
• How to invite God into your loneliness  

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Jesus and the Gift of Friendship - Trillia’s new book

God’s Very Good Idea (and other books) by Trillia

Connect with Trillia Newbell

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” —Proverbs 16:9 NLT

We just don’t know what we don’t know.

History gives us some pretty funny stories of people who tried to predict the future but got it embarrassingly wrong. One great example is from 1962, when a record executive told the Beatles they “have no future in show business” because four-piece groups with guitars are a thing of the past. 

Oops.

The only thing we can be certain about this side of heaven is that our lives are going to be uncertain. We don’t know that the next year holds for us or our kids.

 But God does.

In the middle of uncertainty for Joshua, God reminded him that “every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you” (Joshua 1:3 ESV). The message to Joshua is the same message for us: with God directing our steps, not even one of them is unexpected or without purpose to the One who authors them all.

This week, we’re praying for our kids to understand that what’s uncertain to them is anything but unexpected or unplanned to God. Knowing that, we can put our trust in the One who not only knows the future but also writes it.

Lord, you don’t just know what the future holds, you are the future. Help [name] to stand firm in the face of uncertainty, knowing that you determine their steps and, in doing so, go before and behind them with power and authority over all things. We don’t know what we don’t know—but you do.

 God’s word speaks: Romans 8:28; Philippians 1:6; Isaiah 45:2; Proverbs 3:6

I have long admired Laney Rene online and was so thrilled to get a chance to know her through this interview. She is beyond her years in wisdom and her faith has always inspired me. She’s a young mom so those of you with littles will definitely relate to our episode.

She shares so tenderly about the loss of her son and how she experienced God in a new way through her pain. So many of you have gone through or are enduring tremendous pain. Painful parts of our story can feel so very crushing and devastating. So, how do we choose hope over despair? I believe Laney Rene’s story will encourage you.

My favorite part is when she talks about when you know that God is real. And what to do when you doubt that he is real or that he is actually speaking to you.  I pray you will feel so very seen and loved through this conversation about how much God loves his daughters. 

During this episode, we discuss:

• How to allow God into the most painful parts of your life
• How to choose hope over despair 
• How to discover how much Jesus truly loves you and sees you as his own child  

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” —Hebrews 12:11 ESV

Nobody lacks self-discipline like our precious two-year-olds. Their language repertoire is heavy with words like no, mine, and more—typically accompanied with a hearty side of theatrics. As cute as it might be when they are young (or not), a lack of self-discipline creates some big issues later in life.

Self-discipline (or lack thereof) will impact every part of our kids’ lives, including their dating relationships, finances, online accountability, marriage, physical health, and even their occupations. The author of Hebrews reminds us that discipline isn’t fun in the moment, but it’s a key step in the pathway to righteousness.

The good news is that self-discipline isn’t just a matter of mustering up enough willpower. Rather, it's a God-given perspective that the greater reward in waiting is better than the immediate temptation we’re facing. Warren Wiersbe says it this way: “Discipline means giving up the good and the better for the best. There is nothing wrong with food or fun, but if they interfere with your highest goals, then they are hindrances and not helps.”

Let’s ask God to give our kids the self-discipline to look away, walk away, or find a way to pass on anything that interferes with God’s highest goals in their lives. Jesus is worth waiting for, and self-discipline eliminates the pain and discouragement of settling for less than his best in their lives.

Lord, help [name] to have the self-discipline to pass up the good in order to accomplish the great you have planned for them. Give my children an eye for your bigger picture in all areas of their lives, knowing the ultimate goal of righteousness is worth waiting for. 

God’s word speaks:

• 1 Corinthians 9:24
• Proverbs 25:28
• 2 Timothy 1:7
• 1 Corinthians 9:27

Well, it makes perfect sense that I have a minor cryfest on this episode. In this conversation with Jennie Allen, we dive into our feelings and emotions and what to do with those.  You may have many feelings (like myself) or you may lean towards suppressing your emotions. Either way, we ALL have emotions and it’s important to understand how we handle those as faith-filled parents. 

I get super teary as we talk about our mutual friend, Wynter Pitts, and how her death really sent me for a loop. In that season, I felt grief like I never had before and wasn’t sure what to do with that. Jennie is the real deal as you will see. She pauses in the midst of the interview to affirm my grief and why that loss hurt so much. 

My favorite part is towards the end when we discuss how often our emotions get tangled up with our kids. When they hurt, we really hurt. She gives a couple practical ways we can avoid getting pulled into their worlds so far that we risk co-dependence. 

Don’t miss this episode! Learn more about…

• Why do we fear our emotions and avoid leaning into them?
• What do you do when you feel something?
• How to handle emotions when you’re an emotional mess or love to suppress?
• How do we care for our kids without going down emotionally every time?

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Jennie’s new book, Untangle Your Emotions

JennieAllen.com

LifePlan with Brooke Warnock 

Wynter’s Funeral

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:20

We are on week 23. I am so proud of us! We have prayed every week together on Pardon The Mess for our kids. 

Today’s prayer features our friend Jeannie Cunnion. I love her heart for Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. She’s written several books on this topic and encouraged me tremendously to lean into God’s presence in my parenting.

Connect with Jeannie!

Jeannie’s latest study - Never Alone

Either you’re happy in your marriage and want to remain that way, or you are not that happy in your marriage right now and feel frozen on how to fix it. My guest today is Ted Lowe who is an author, speaker and podcast host who has been helping to strengthen marriages for over two decades. You’ll love his relatable and doable approach to marriage and leave this conversation feeling encouraged, not ashamed.

In this episode, we talk about the secret to happy couples. Spoiler alert - it’s our thought life. Join us as we discuss how scripture, research and neuroscience together provide a simple way to rethink how we see marriage. 

Ted gives us a couple of ways we can change our thought life today that will impact our marriage for the good. I was definitely convicted on this statement. Ted said, “how you think is how you treat them.” That is a true statement that I will remember for some time.

My favorite part is when I ask Ted how a couple can take action together to improve their marriage. His answer may surprise you. It was a piece of advice I wish I had heard about 20 years ago. Let me know what you think!

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

ForUsMarriage.com - Ted’s site

Ted’s latest book: Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage

The All Pro Dad Podcast

Teen Study Bible

Life is Messy, God is Good

“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.” —Psalm 119:9

The idea of raising pure kids in an impure culture can feel like an impossibly tall order as parents. Defining purity can be confusing and is oftentimes limited to discussions of physical relationships or online accountability. We sometimes mistakenly make purity a goal our kids must achieve, staying away from certain things or even keeping on a prescribed path until the finish line of marriage.

Noel Bouche of Pure Hope Ministries says, “purity it not an accomplishment; it’s a relationship.” It’s a relationship with Jesus, who comes to redeem us from the sin of this world and purify us to himself (Titus 2:14). He renews our minds and equips us to overcome our earthly temptations. He cleanses us and makes us new creations. He gives hope that is everlasting and brings healing when we fall short.

Biblical purity is bigger than a checklist of things our kids should or should not do, but instead focuses on the bigger picture of the lifelong pursuit of Jesus. It’s not about our ability to perform but about Jesus’ transforming power within us. 

There’s nothing wrong with praying for our kids to have purity in their physical relationships, the way they dress, the motivation behind their actions, their pursuit of Jesus, and the music and media that fill their minds. But let’s also pray that if and when they fall short, they know that the Lord stands ready to forgive them and give them a new beginning. 

Lord, please bring [name] to you, purifying them through a renewing of their heart and mind. Give my kids the freedom to come to me no matter what they have seen or done, knowing that, as a family, we will offer grace and seek your wisdom. Help my kids to take captive their thoughts and find companionship with those seeking a pure heart and a life of righteousness.

God’s word speaks: Colossians 3:5, 1 Timothy 4:12, Matthew 5:8, Titus 2:13–14

Links mentioned: https://dannahgresh.com/should-i-stop-using-the-word-purity/

Stay-at-home and working-moms: Embrace the season you're in with Paula Faris

As moms, we all work. We know that. However, our culture wants us to find a camp and defend it. We find ourselves in a “stay-at-home” world or a “working moms” world. 

Paula Faris is a dear friend of mine and is just who we needed on this podcast topic. Like many of us, Paula has worked in many lanes since becoming a mom. She has worked full-time on Good Morning America and The View. She has also had a season at home with her kids and is now working from home on her new brand, Carry Media.

Paula and I chat about how often we (moms) judge each other’s decisions and what we really need is support and understanding. What if we could end these mommy wars and all get on the same train of support? 

In this episode, we also talk about how employers could help shift the work environment for mothers in the future. Paula speaks from the true heart of an advocate that is using her voice and platform to fight for the working moms.

My favorite part is when Paula encourages moms to embrace each season. That we don’t need to defend our choices - but just follow God’s voice for our particular season and our family’s needs. 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Paula’s book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All

Paula’s children’s book: Who Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

CARRY Media

Paula’s Instagram

Cynthia Yanof's book: Life is Messy, God is Good

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” —Jeremiah 17:7

We all want to raise confident kids, but the hard part is making sure their confidence comes from the right source: God himself. We live in a culture that esteems strong finances, good looks, prestigious jobs, and realized dreams—none of which are lasting or fulfilling. 

When we look to find our confidence in the things of this world, we will never find satisfaction. Solomon, among the wisest and wealthiest of all time, describes the pursuits of this world as “utterly meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). He pursued everything the world had to offer only to conclude that there’s “nothing new under the sun” so we should only “fear god and keep his commandments.”

The great irony of the gospel is that only in acknowledging our insufficiency can God do his greatest work by strengthening us.

Let’s pray that our kids are marked by confidence in things with lasting value:

• The promise that God will complete every good work in them (Philippians 1:6)
• Their identity as children of God (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• The good news of the gospel and their eternity with Jesus (John 3:16)
• The opportunity to approach God boldly in prayer, knowing that he hears them (Hebrews 4:16)

Lord, this world is filled with uncertainty that threatens to rock our confidence. But you are steadfast and reliable, showing favor on your children and building them up to accomplish your purposes. Please give [name] a confident spirit marked by their reliance on you.

God’s word speaks: Psalm 27: 3, Philippians 4:13; Psalm 139:13–14; Romans 8:28

She’s baaaccckkkk!!! Did you know that Cynthia Yanof was the first host of Pardon The Mess? She passed the podcast baton to me in May and through this process has become a dear friend. I’m absolutely thrilled to catch up with her today.

We talk about how to find and follow the God-sized calling on your life. She shares about her personal journey with foster care and adoption and what that step of faith did for their family. It will get you so excited and expectant to look for what God is calling you to do and to run after it. We don’t want to miss these moments that matter in our lives! If we’re honest though, we often feel like we don’t know what that looks like and how to discern what God is saying to us.

I also loved when we chatted about the world’s expectations for us (and our kids) to be extraordinary. Her encouragement for us to embrace the ordinary is really encouraging. We see measurable “success” all around us and it looks so very big and flashy. Cynthia reminds us that the most God-honoring things we can do each day are likely not measurable.

Be sure to go check out her new book, Life Is Messy, God Is Good, that releases next week. We are so proud of you Cynthia! And thankful for the way you’ve model faithfulness to God for so many years. 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Courtney & Cynthia - Pardon The Mess announcement Part 1 and Part 2

CynthiaYanof.Com

Cynthia’s Instagram

Cynthia’s Podcast

Cynthia’s New Book: Life Is Messy, God Is Good

Discipleship Guide:  cpgive.org 

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” —Isaiah 40:31

A few years ago, Pew Research released a poll revealing that seven in ten US teens considered anxiety and depression a major problem among their peers. Of those participating in the poll, 61 percent indicated they felt pressure to get good grades, while 29 percent felt pressure to look good and 28 percent felt pressure to fit in socially.

Considering that our culture’s expectations are so often arbitrary and impossible to meet, it’s not surprising that our kids struggle with anxiety and depression. When the world ties our worth to materiality and performance, it feels hopeless because we’re only as good as our most recent accomplishment or latest accolade.

But, as Christians, our hope is in the Lord. Practically speaking, that means we’re not looking to the world to meet our greatest needs and desires, Rather, we look to God. Biblical hope is not just desiring for something good to happen in our lives; it’s a confident expectation that God will actually do it.

There are so many reasons for our kids to be hopeful in the Lord: 

• He has good plans for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11).
• He leads and teaches them in his ways (Psalm 32:8).
• He will fulfill his greater purpose in their lives (Psalm 138:8).
• He will establish their plans (Proverbs 16:3).
• He promises to work all things together for their good (Romans 8:28).

The Pew Research statistics confirm what we already know: we need to diligently pray that our kids are not weighed down by impossible standards of our culture, but that they will be marked by a hope found only in the Lord.

Lord, there is no hope without you. Use [name] as an instrument to take your hope to those around them. Take our days, Lord—the good, the bad, the easy, the hard—and show us the greater picture of hope found only in you.

God’s word speaks: Ephesians 1:18; Jeremiah 29:11; Mark 9:23; Psalm 33:18

David Thomas never disappoints! As a counselor with decades of experience, David has counseled thousands of families of boys. He brings powerful insight, practical tips, and heartfelt encouragement. 

You may be wondering if you are failing at this parenting thing or if there might be something wrong with your son. After this episode, I think you will feel much better about your parenting and your amazing son. 

David agrees with the assessment that there is a “boy crisis” happening, as this article suggests. Reach out to us on social media - do you agree? Are you seeing “disinterest” in your son’s world too?

My biggest takeaway is when David distinguishes between “hard” and “harmful.” I have daughters - but I needed to hear this encouragement. Too often, I help them escape hard things because I believe they are in harm’s way when they are not. Many times, my kids are pushing back against discomfort and you’ll hear how this is needed and actually good for them.

This is one of those episodes you need to listen to, file away, save, listen again, and then discuss with a friend. Do not lose hope! Jesus has you and your kiddos. I’m so thankful he brings us so many wonderful and biblical mentors like David Thomas to help guide us through these parenting challenges. Don’t miss the last part when David reminds us that we have an opportunity and many years left to equip, empower and encourage all the kids we love.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

• Christian Parenting
• Pardon The Mess 
• Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

• Dr. Anthony Bradley article about boy crisis 
• Daystar Counseling 
• Raising Boys and Girls Instagram
• Raising Boys and Girls Podcast 
• Raising Emotionally Strong Boys (for parents)
• Strong and Smart (guide for boys)
• Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea Squirrels

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32

Compassion is one of the defining characteristics of God. He’s sympathetic to our struggles and burdened by what burdens us. But, even more than simply feeling compassion and sympathy toward us emotionally, his compassionate nature moves him to act on our behalf.

This compassion turned to action is most evident when we consider the cross. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). That’s the overwhelming grace behind a compassionate God working all things for the good of his children. 

If compassion is central to the gospel, what should it look like in our lives? Henri Nouwen describes it this way: “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless.”

As we pray compassion for our kids this week, we’re praying that it’s more than a fleeting emotion. Rather, we’re praying that it’s evident in their actions. Pray that they stand up for the vulnerable, fight for the oppressed, and are intolerant of injustices around them.

Lord, your word calls us to have compassion and love for others. Please give [name] a compassionate heart to see the things that burden you and a spirit of determination to help others in whatever way you lead. Slow us down and give us discernment to see the needs around us and not to tolerate the things that break your heart.

God’s word speaks:1 Peter 3:8; 2 Corinthians 1:3–4; Colossians 3:12; Lamentations 3:22–23

Happy New Year!!!

Do you love the reset that comes with a New Year or does it stress you out? Either way, I think you’re going to find this conversation refreshing. It’s simple. It’s practical. And very doable.

On Pardon The Mess, we talk a lot about being intentional with our families. We talk about our values and how we are going to instill those into our kids. The truth is that all of that takes time and money - which is not an endless pot. I wish it wouldn’t run out. 

As we begin the year, let’s hear from my friend Shawna Sullivan on some ways we can stop wasting time and money. And then, print her simple guide called “Make It Count” and just spend a few minutes thinking ahead through the year. 

My favorite part is when she encourages us to cut the mindless spending. She calls it a “slow leak.” I am so so guilty of this and I do think it would help our budget a ton if I’d cut the slow leak (also known as TJ Maxx).

You will not feel judged or shamed in this episode. You will feel encouraged to make some small shifts to steward your time and money more wisely this year.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Shawna on Instagram 

ShawnaSullivan.com

Free Download - "Make It Count" 

Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea Squirrels

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”—John 17:17

Sadie Robertson Huff has said that when she went to her mom for advice during struggles in her teenage years, her mom would always “meet her with Jesus”

Meeting our kids with Jesus just might be the most significant thing we can do in our kids’ lives. Satan is the father of lies, looking for ways to misguide and deceive us at every turn. Only in Jesus will we find real truth, especially in a culture that rejects absolute truth.

Jesus, you are the truth that overcomes the lies of the Enemy and shines light in the darkness. Help my family to identify the lies we’re believing, replacing them with the truth of your word. Give [name] an increasing understanding of who you are and your great love for them. Fill our families with hope, joy, and truth that comes only from you.

God's word speaks: Psalm 119:151; John 14:6; 2 Timothy 3:16; John 10:10

Happy New Year!!! Let’s take a big sigh together. The New Year can be intense and overwhelming right out of the gate. I don’t know if you’re entering 2024 with a lot of shame or excitement. This episode is such a breath of fresh air that made me feel hopeful.

I did this interview live at my church (Compass Church Colleyville) when Ruth was the guest speaker at our Christmas women’s event. It was so fun to do this in person and get to meet and sit with someone I have long admired.

You will sense PEACE when you hear from Ruth. She just oozes truth and encouragement that we all need in our lives. We have some fun and also discuss some parenting tips along the way. When a mom of 6 BOYS speaks up, I listen.

My favorite part is how she provides a way to read the Bible. A lens we can have to simply get to know the character of God with every moment we’re in His Word. For many years, I think I looked for me in the story and left feeling really discouraged and not enough. When we look for God instead - it can be a game changer in how we encounter our Heavenly Father.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Ruth

Ruth’s latest book, Pilgrim

Pre-Order Ruth’s next book, Now and Not Yet

Ruth’s jeweler, Mud Lowery 

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” —Psalm 90:12

Every seasoned parent knows how quickly time passes when you’re in the throes of raising kids. It seems like one day they’re toddlers and the next day you’re visiting colleges. Despite being cautioned that “the days are long, but the years are short,” it’s still hard to appreciate how fast it passes until you’re on the other side looking back.

As we start a new year, it’s a great time for our families to remember to number our days because time is fleeting. Counting our days is not meant to be mathematical, but missional. It’s living today as if you have no tomorrow. It’s making the most of every God-given opportunity, knowing that missed opportunities are often our greatest regrets.

David understood the brevity of life when he wrote, “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure” (Psalm 39:5).

As we pray for our kids to number their days, ask the Lord to give them the wisdom to evaluate every decision and opportunity through the lens of eternity.

Lord, you are the God of the past, present, and future. We claim your promise that for every good work you begin in our kids, you will carry it to the point of completion. Please impress upon [name] the importance of numbering their days, knowing there is nothing more important or significant than the plans you have for them in this moment.

God’s word speaks: Psalm 39:4; Ephesians 5:15; James 4:14–15; Psalm 144:4

I am so excited about this month’s episodes. They are designed to be lighthearted and very practical - like we all sat down and had coffee. Today, we are headed into a chat about simplifying our style and skin care with two of my besties.

Get fired up for some lighthearted banter about jeans, winter shoes, budget ideas, places to shop, aging skin care, drugstore favorites and much more. I hope you will feel practically equipped and slightly amused with our real life friend chat. 

Heidi is a pastor and extraordinary leader in our town. Our families do life together on the regular. She’s one of the very first friends I met here in TX. Lindsay is a Bible teacher and woman of many talents. She is the best party planner I know and loves to celebrate her people so often. She has scooped up my girls on many occasions and loves them so well. 

My favorite part is at the end when you get a pep talk from each of them. They do care for themselves and have fun with style and skin - but it is not the main thing. They remind us that our worth never lies with our physicality. These two radiate from the inside. Everytime I am with them, I feel so seen. Their smile, their hugs and their sincere interest in me is something I want to emulate. That kind of beauty is not sold at drugstores or Nordstrom. It’s cultivated after a lifetime of pursuing Jesus and living out their faith.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Heidi’s Birkenstock Clogs

Heidi’s eye cream

Heid’s Vitamin C Serum

Lindsay’s Elta MD tinted moisturizer

Lindsay’s Moisturizer

Lindsay’s Facial Scrub

Lindsay’s Exfoliating Cleanser 

Fab Fit Fun

Nuuly

Courtney’s legendary shoe clips

Your gift by December 31 DOUBLES to equip more parents in 2024!

“‘The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel’ (which means ‘God with us’).” —Matthew 1:23

When I was growing up, my family had a beautiful Christmas nativity in our living room that had been hand-painted by my grandmother. I remember the meticulously adorned kings, the elegant white angel, and the pristine animals more fit for a banquet than a barn.

It would have met anyone’s definition of the perfect nativity set except for one thing: we lost baby Jesus. 

This was quite the conundrum since it wasn’t something a quick trip to Hobby Lobby could remedy. But, even without Jesus, my mom continued to display her nativity because the significance behind my grandmother’s handmade gift meant more than the splendor of a perfect nativity set.

Christmas is full of pretty decorations, sparkly lights, and all the things that make this time of year special. But, much like my mom’s choice to continue displaying our nativity set, we’re praying that our kids grasp the significance behind the splendor as we celebrate Jesus’ birth. 

The significance comes in praying for a faith like Mary, who was willing to say yes even when it didn’t make sense. Or learning to walk in obedience like Joseph, who did the God-ordained things, not just the easy ones. It’s going any distance to meet Jesus like the wise men did. It’s approaching him like the lowly shepherds, in complete awe and wonder of the newborn King.

Pray this week that our kids don’t just see Christmas for all of its splendor but live marked by the significance of Jesus’ birth and the message of the nativity. 

Lord, allow the significance of the nativity to mark our kids as we celebrate your birth. Give [name] the faith of Mary, the obedience of Joseph, and the awe and reverence of the shepherds. Strip away the splendor of a secularized Christmas, showing our family the deep love you showed by coming to earth as a baby.

God’s word speaks: Luke 2; Isaiah 9:6; John 1:14; Luke 2:14

What a delight to chat with Tara Leigh Cobble - founder of The Bible Recap that has reached over 320 million people. I know we all want to read God’s word and believe it’s important. However, the majority of folks experience the feelings of being overwhelmed and lost during that process. Tara has so much encouragement because she has also been there.

You will just love her encouragement and disarming nature as it relates to reading our Bibles. I feel so ill-equipped sometimes to lead my kids when I am stumbling through myself. As you enter this New Year timeframe - make sure you listen to this one and get re-energized to make reading your Bible a priority for 2024. 

I am agreeing with her ending prayer - that we may fall in love with who God is through reading his word this year. As she describes, it’s 20 minutes a day that could change our lives and our families.

My favorite part is at the end. Tara shares about how she didn’t like God after the first time through the Bible. Her pastor encouraged to try again with a different lens that changed everything. She is now on her 15th time through and more in love with Jesus than ever. 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Tara Leigh

Bible Recap - Start Here

NEW Bible Recap Kids Devotional

Your gift by December 31 DOUBLES to equip more parents in 2024!

“But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.’” —Luke 2:10

The odds are pretty good that you will sing “Joy to the World” at a Christmas service this season. It’s a classic Christmas carol with a great reminder of why we have joy.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive her King!

These simple words explain the reason for our joy as Christians: Jesus has come. But how do we live with joy in a world with such real suffering? 

Max Lucado talks about two different types of joy: contingent joy and courageous joy. Contingent joy is based on our circumstances and how things are going in life. Courageous joy is based in Jesus and is with us no matter what we’re facing. 

Contingent joy focuses on the situational; courageous joy focuses on the eternal. 

Joni Eareckson Tada is an author, speaker, and artist who was paralyzed as a teenager as a result of a diving accident. She says her joy comes from knowing that “God permits what he hates to accomplish what he loves.” She’s focused on the eternal. 

Joy is one of the attributes the world sees in us and doesn’t understand; it’s a great testimony, especially when it’s displayed in the hard places of life. Let’s pray for our kids to be marked by joy, not just at Christmas but at all times, because it’s not based on today but eternity. 

Joy to the world, the Lord has come!

Jesus, you are the reason we have joy. In complete humility, you came to earth as a baby, to pay the price for our sins so that we might live eternally. Reveal in [name] a joy that’s rooted not in their circumstances but in you alone.

God’s word speaks: Philippians 4:4; Psalm 118:24; 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18; Romans 12:12

I am so excited about this month’s episodes. They are designed to be lighthearted and very practical - like we all sat down and had coffee. Last week, we got to chat about simplifying traditions around Christmas. And this week, we have two more of my dearest friends to talk about all things HOME & SYSTEMS.

You are going to wish these two could come over and sort your entire house. They are both super gifted at making homes practical, functional and beautiful. I got so many new ideas during our conversation (and laughed often). They crack me up!

My favorite thing about them is how they view the home and how they always bring it back to the PEOPLE over the stuff. In the age of social media, I get so wrapped up in the appearance and making my home “look” just right. Sometimes, I just forget to make it work for our lives and the values we uphold as a family. 

Krista shared this verse which really encouraged me and I pray it encourages you as well.

“You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.” - 1 Corinthians 10:23 

Merry Christmas!!!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

KristaGilbert.com

Krista’s Instagram

Krista’s newest podcast for leaders - The Transformation Triad

Open Door Sisterhood

Our Time To Rise Podcast

Wendy’s Site - The Peaceful Homestead

Wendy’s Instagram

Shop The Peaceful Homestead - Scripture Cards, Candles and more

Wendy’s Home Consults

Wendy’s Laundry System

Wooden organizers for ziplocs

Spice jars with labels

Gift Wrapping Station

Brunch With Babs

Get Neat With Lisa

Underwear sorter

“The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” —Psalm 121:7–8

It’s hard to feel safe when the news all around us tells a different story. But we can trust in the Lord’s protection because there is nothing he cannot do. He created everyone and everything in the universe and has complete control over every detail of it.

As parents, it’s often especially difficult to trust God’s protection when it comes to our kids. We constantly need reminding that our best defense on their behalf is a commitment to praying for them. Even when we question God’s protection over them, we can trust that he’s sovereign, good, and never acts contrary to his loving nature. 

The real truth is that nothing can ultimately harm those who rest in the grip of our heavenly Father. Paul reminds us of this truth when he says: “Neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38–39).

Jodie Berndt joins us for this mini episode to pray with us that when the world seems really scary to our kids, they will remember the One who created the world. He’s our fortress and protector, guiding our very steps and guarding our every path.

Lord, we pray for protection over our children that only comes from you. We pray not just for their physical protection but also for their spiritual health and protection. Please remind [name] that faith in you brings healing for all eternity because nothing can separate us from you. Keep them in your presence and protect them both today and always.

God’s word speaks: Isaiah 54:17; Psalm 34:7–9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Deuteronomy 31:6

Connect with Jodie

Website: https://jodieberndt.com/

Instagram: @jodie_berndt

Facebook: @JodieBerndtWrites

You are in for a treat! Courtney brings two of her very best friends on to get real about Christmas traditions. These three have been friends since their kids were babies and now they can look back over 18 years of parenting and share perspective. 

In addition to some fun and simple ideas, they also share about the unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves during the Christmas season. They talk about everything from Santa, to the elf, and most importantly Jesus. They share some of the favorite traditions that their kids really remember.

My favorite part is at the end they each give parenting encouragement. Spoiler alert - it involves lots of grace. I am so incredibly grateful for these two moms and how they have walked so closely with me all of these years. They are wise, humble, hilarious and two of the best Jesus-loving mommas I know. 

We didn’t even get to the miracle of Kylie White. She was healed from going blind. It’s a story I’ll never be over. You can listen to her miracle story here.

Merry Christmas!!!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Katie’s Instagram

Kylie’s Instagram

Kylie’s Miracle

Kylie’s blog 

Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Rolls

Light Em Up - Acts of Kindness

Our Sponsors:

* Check out Factor 75 and use my code messcourtneydefeo50 to get 50% off: https://www.factor75.com/

“The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.” —Proverbs 20:7 NLT

When we think about God’s character, we probably think of attributes like righteousness, holiness, mercy, love, and justice. The Bible reminds us that the character of God is unchanging: he’s the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He’s dependable, he’s consistent, he’s compassionate, and he’s a God of integrity who desires the same for us.

Integrity is more than how we respond in a given situation or a prescribed moral code we follow when life gets tricky. The word integrity comes from the Latin root integer, meaning whole. It’s a reference to our whole person, both who we are in public and in private. 

D. L. Moody has said that character is what you are in the dark. The same could be said of integrity. 

As we pray integrity over our kids this week, we’re asking the Lord to guide them to live with biblical standards in all areas of their lives. At one point or another, integrity will impact their finances, profession, marriage, parenting, calling, and even the words that come out of their mouths. Let’s pray that “what they are in the dark” reflects God’s light in all areas of their lives.

Lord, you call us to a higher standard because you love us, you’re for us, and you know what’s best for us. I ask you to give [name] the desire to live with integrity in all areas of their life. Guide us as a family to value honesty and live set apart. 

God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 3:16; Proverbs 12:22; 2 Corinthians 8:2; Proverbs 21:3

I have long admired Pastor Levi Lusko and his ability to portray the absolute power and sovereignty of God in a way that we can all understand. He is a gifted pastor, teacher and communicator that always leaves me feeling seen, known and inspired.

I first heard Pastor Levi at Passion Conference and have followed his teachings since that time. Today’s conversation centers around how to marvel at God’s creation and how to remind kids they are never alone in this big world. Our kids naturally look up at the moon and the sky and have so many questions. And Jesus even suggests that we are more like kids!

His newest devotionals for families, Marvel At the Moon, is a real passion of his to help start conversations about God’s majestic universe. His desire is that every child (and adult) will remember they are never alone in their real-life struggles. After my conversation with him, I promptly went to order 5 copies for families that I love. He shared so many fun facts about the moon that I had never heard before. 

My favorite part is at the end, when he encourages all parents to not shy away from the failures. He encourages us to lean into the very normal road of messing up - and how God will use every bit of it. It felt like such a moment of grace washing over me. I pray you will feel that too. 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show: 

LeviLusko.com

Through The Eyes of a Lion (His daughter’s story)

Marvel at The Moon

YoYo Stroller

Passion Conference

The Marriage Devotional

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” —John 1:5

A quick glance at the news confirms that our culture’s moral code is growing further away from the truths of Scripture. With the widening of this gap, our kids will likely face more scrutiny and persecution for living biblically than many of the generations before them.

Even so, we have the message of truth and are called to share it. In the middle of a world of darkness and uncertainty, our culture desperately needs to hear the gospel message that Jesus loved us to the point of death so that we might live forever (John 3:16). 

Each new day presents opportunities for our children to shine God’s light in the darkness around them. It’s accomplished by refusing to conform to the world. Instead, pray that your children live set apart in how they talk, what they prioritize, and how they do life. Living counterculturally provides the opportunity to point others to the true source of our light: Jesus.

Ask the Lord to ground our kids in the confidence and determination necessary to stand firm in a culture that rejects absolute truth. Pray that they won’t pass up a single chance to shine the light of Jesus in a dark world.

Jesus, you alone change lives. Help [name] to be brave enough to live set apart for you. As our culture grows further away from the truths of the gospel, give us more opportunities to share our faith in you with love and conviction. 

God’s word speaks: Matthew 5:16; John 8:12; 1 John 1:5; 1 Peter 2:9

Tissue alert! This one was incredibly special to me - a tearful and honest check in with Jonathan and Peta Pitts during a deeply painful season of their lives.

Although, those in the midst of grief will absolutely resonate - I do believe this episode is for every single one of us. Somewhere in our stories, we endure deep loss and are left standing with many questions for God. This week of Thanksgiving can be really hard for many families and I pray this message touches you in a profound way.  We talk about Joanthan’s loss of his late wife Wynter Pitts, his new marriage to the amazing Peta Pitts, the often unseen role as a step-mom, their recent loss with a miscarriage and then stillborn and so much more.  They are raw and honest with their pain - yet incredibly hopeful.

I used to host a podcast with Wynter about raising girls. We were about 4 months into the podcast when she suddenly passed away - leaving behind her husband and 4 precious daughters.  She was a treasured friend of mine. As you can imagine, this episode was emotional and very sacred to me. You’ll hear a moment, when I realize that Peta is an answered prayer of mine. In those early days of Wynter’s passing, I begged God over and over again to bring those girls another mother that would love them and see them like Wynter did. And He did that and so much more.

My favorite part is when they share that they still choose Jesus, despite the hard questions and doubts. They share this verse that really stuck with me.

“Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God” (John 6:68–69)

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show: 

The Mothering Journal - More on Peta’s Writing 

The Mothering Journal Instagram

Peta’s Instagram

Jonathan’s Instagram 

For Girls Like You - magazine and resources

God’s Story Club (NEW)

Jonathan’s Book on Loss of Wynter

I Am Yours by Wynter Pitts

Courtney & Wynter’s Podcast

Questions about death by Tony Evans

“Jesus, the Light of the World”: An Advent Devotional for Kids!

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” —Psalm 107:1

The Pilgrims celebrated the first Thanksgiving in 1621 despite having recently lost half of their population to a harsh winter filled with contagious diseases. By celebrating their first successful harvest, they reminded a young nation of the importance of giving thanks in all circumstances.

Today, most of us spend Thanksgiving day knee-deep in the traditions of turkey, football, and family time; however, as Christians, we also celebrate on a deeper level, knowing that all of our gratitude is owed to the Lord.

We’re praying this week that our kids live marked by thankfulness—even in the hard places. When the road they face is difficult, pray that they give thanks that Jesus goes before them and has won every battle waged against them. We’re promised that God will work everything according to his purposes, so we can be assured that God desires to bring out the good in whatever they are facing.

Paul reminds us from his jail cell in Rome that, in Jesus, we can sing, make music, and be thankful in all things (Ephesians 5:19–20). 

Ingratitude is a sin, thankfulness is a choice, turkey is dry.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lord, every good and perfect gift comes only from you, and we have the privilege of celebrating that this week. As we celebrate Thanksgiving as a family, give my kids a deep connection with you as the giver of all good things in their lives. Help [name] to be marked by thanksgiving no matter their circumstances. 

God’s word speaks: Psalm 100:4; Colossians 3:17; Psalm 107:8–9; 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18

This is a big statement, but accurate: Toni might be our funniest guest so far. I was so highly amused by her experiences with krumping and twerking in the club. And I was deeply moved by her passion to help broken women find hope and healing.

Toni is a returning guest to Pardon The Mess because you all LOVED her so much the first time. She is the founder of an international women’s organization called Broken Crayons Still Color and helps women process through brokenness and get to healing and hope. Toni is a speaker, podcast host, author, pastor and mom of two adorable kiddos. 

My favorite thing about Toni is that she confronts the hard things. She believes the best way to meet life’s challenges is head-on. She is honest and real - and never ever steers away from sharing the real pain involved in her own life - from survivingserving abuse to a tough divorce and much more. In the same breath - she brings you back to hope. We all need the reminder that being broken isn’t the end of the story.

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show: 

“Jesus, the Light of the World”: An Advent Devotional for Kids!

ToniCollier.com

Toni’s First Book, Brave Enough To Be Broken

Toni’s Latest Book for Kids, Broken Crayons Still Color

Toni’s Suits, Shop Classier

Toni’s Threads’ Epic Content

Instagram

@simplybeboxSubscribe

SimplyBeBox.com/Subscribe

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” —Matthew 6:19–20

Everything we have has been given to us by God.

When we really stop and think about this truth, it can’t help but reframe how we operate in light of God’s generosity toward us. The gospel calls us to be generous, not just because it benefits those around us, but because it benefits us.

To be marked by generosity, our kids need a few foundational truths:

• God owns it all, and we are simply stewards of his wealth on earth (1 Peter 4:10).
• Generosity is a matter of the heart, and giving is an act of worship (1 John 3:17)
• God’s generosity is unmatched when you consider the gift of Jesus (Romans 5:8).

Generosity is not just a financial matter. Our kids can practice generosity even now by having a compassionate heart, a willingness to include others, advocating for the underdog, and freely extending forgiveness.

When we give to God, we never lose. Instead, we gain the opportunity to participate in his larger kingdom ministries. Being faithful in little leads to opportunities to be faithful in much (Luke 16:10).

Lord, if you didn’t provide us with one more thing this side of heaven, we would still be overwhelmed by your generosity at the cross. Give [name] hearts of generosity, teaching them that our greatest gain comes from giving away what was never ours to begin with.

God’s word speaks: 2 Corinthians 9:6–7; Luke 6:38; Acts 20:35; 1 Timothy 6:17–19

It didn’t take me long to hear that Kayla Craig is a peaceful, gentle soul. You can absolutely tell she is a parent bathed in prayer and has a heart to help parents in the midst of really painful journeys. Kayla speaks about her child with Down Syndrome and shares about a time that a “book of prayers” helped her find the words when she didn’t have any.

My favorite part is towards the end when we are talking about when kids have hard questions about faith, and being okay with some of the unknown parts and mysteries of following Jesus. 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

“Jesus, the Light of the World”: An Advent Devotional for Kids!

Kayla’s Website

Every Season Sacred - Kayla’s latest book

Kayla’s Podcast

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” —James 1:22

Many of us have heard Bible stories for as long as we can remember. We learned about a young boy named David defeating a huge giant with a slingshot, an honorable man named Noah building an ark having never experienced rain, and the story of Daniel walking unharmed out of a lions’ den because of God’s protection.

As children, these stories were entertaining. As adults, they are the foundations of truth by which we’re called to live.

Being marked by God’s word means we don’t just hear it; we are changed by it. As parents, we commit to teaching our kids God’s word when they are little so that the foundational truths of Scripture are planted in their souls for when they grow older.

We’re praying for our kids to gain an understanding of the bigger picture of God’s word this week, that they understand how God gets the greatest glory when we boldly face our giants in God’s strength, like David did. We’re praying that God will call them to obey when it makes no earthly sense, like Noah did. And, as they grow older and weather some long, hard places of suffering, they will know they were never alone, like Daniel did.

Lord, your word never returns empty. We claim this truth as we raise our kids in Scripture, praying that you give them a deeper understanding of the Bible and its priority for their lives. Keep [name] from simply hearing your word, but give it life and meaning that changes the way they live.

God’s word speaks: Luke 11:28; Hebrews 4:12; Isaiah 40:8; Matthew 7:24