“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11–12)

Because we love our kids and want what’s best for them, we want them to grow up to be well-rounded, healthy, successful, godly people, so we establish boundaries in their lives and we reinforce them when they are broken. We explain why certain rules exist and how to act in social situations. We correct. We talk. We talk some more. We lose our cool. We say sorry. We hug. We discipline our kids. 

Because the Lord loves us and wants what’s best for us, he is constantly changing us and conforming us into the image of Christ through spiritual discipline because he wants us to become more and more like Jesus. God’s discipline is not meant to hurt us, it is never out of anger, and it’s not about perfect behavior; it is to protect us and grow our relationship with him. The Lord’s discipline is not to punish us, it is to transform us. Understanding this requires spiritual maturity in our kids that they will gain as they follow Jesus through their lives.

So let’s pray that our kids will grow to see that God’s discipline in their lives is a wonderful part of following him—it means he is taking an active part in growing them to be more and more like him for his good purpose.

Father God, you are a good father who loves your children. Thank you for calling ________ your child. Help them to see you as a father who disciplines out of love and care, not out of anger and rules.  You want what's best for your kids and you know how much sin hurts us, help them to experience the peace that comes from confession and forgiveness! Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Raise your hands if you are excited about talking with your teen about sexual integrity? Not me. These are hard, but necessary conversations we must have with our kids. I have the very best voices in this area, Jim Burns and Erin Mashaw, on the podcast today.

In this episode, we discuss the complexities of parenting, particularly in relation to sexuality and communication. We talk about the importance of early education on sexual integrity, the challenges posed by the purity culture and the need for open dialogue between parents and children. 

The bottom line is our kids need a healthy and safe place to talk about their sexuality. As a parent, that can feel very scary. You will love these two and want to pick up their newest book - that gives you and your teen some language that will help. Our kids are all curious about sexuality and bombarded with messages that are far from biblical truth. Erin and Jim approach a tough topic with such love and grace. 

In this episode, we chat about:

• How to start conversations about sexuality early 
• How purity culture created shame around sexuality
• Understanding curiosity and boundaries 
• How to encourage dating in a way that fosters healthy relationships

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Introduction to Parenting Challenges

05:58

The Importance of Early Education

12:05

The Scope of the New Book

17:45

Navigating Honesty in Parenting

23:43

Embracing Differences in Family Dynamics

30:10

The Long Game of Parenting

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

The Unbreakable Boy movie

Jim’s Organization - HomeWord

Connect with Jim

Connect with Erin

A Student’s Guide To Sexual Integrity -Erin and Jim’s new book

Doing Life With Your Adult Children with Jim Burns

Affresh for your laundry

Courtney’s Amazon List

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:10 NLT)

One of our strong desires as parents is for our kids to find a place of belonging in the world. We want our kids to know that who they are and what they have to offer is important and valuable, and spiritual gifts are one of the ways God empowers us to find belonging and purpose in the world. Helping our kids discover and use their spiritual gifts well will help them see the bigger picture of how they fit into God’s kingdom. 

God made each and every one of our kids uniquely and he gave them all spiritual gifts. Some of these gifts are: teaching, serving, administration, hospitality, mercy, prayer, and more. Spiritual gifts are meant to be used to bring glory to God and using them becomes a testimony of how he has worked in our lives. 

This week let’s pray that as our kids follow the Lord, they discover their spiritual gifts, grow into them, and that they are presented with opportunities to use them to serve God’s kingdom. Let’s also ask God to help us recognize spiritual gifts in our kids and to share what we see with them. 

Dear God, thank you for the spiritual gifts that you have given ________________. Please reveal to me and to them what those gifts are and show us how you want to use these gifts to encourage others and bring others to Christ. Help them to start to see your purpose for them and to boldly use their gifts to please you! I know you will use them in mighty and awesome ways! Remind my child to value the gifts that you have given them over the things that this world values.

Spiritual Gifts test mentioned in episode: https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/women-leadership-spiritual-gifts-growth-service

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

This week’s episode is packed with insights and practical advice for navigating the complexities of parenting during the middle school years. I’m joined by Steph Thurling, and together we dive into balancing love, independence, and the continuous learning process of parenting.

Here are four key takeaways from this episode:

• Parenting evolves as children grow, and middle school years often require creative ways to re-engage with your kids.  
• Allowing children to experience failure helps them develop responsibility and confidence.  
• Overparenting can hinder independence—parents should guide their children through problems, not shield them from them.  
• Self-care for parents is crucial to maintaining balance and avoiding guilt in the parenting journey.  

Steph Thurling is the executive director of Christian Parenting and the host of the Christian Parenting podcast where she encourages parents every week to be the imperfectly perfect parent God created them to be. She is also an author, speaker, and advocate for empowering parents to create lasting family connections. 

I love working alongside Steph at Christian Parenting. She’s a delight and filled with wisdom and encouragement. 

Enjoy!

Courtney 

(01:57) Navigating Parenting Stages

(06:10) Engaging with Middle Schoolers

(10:07) The Balance of Hovering and Letting Go

(13:57) Preparing for Independence

(18:02) Overparenting: Understanding the Roots

(21:06) Navigating the Challenges of Letting Go in Parenting

(24:35) The Importance of Self-Care and Mom Guilt

(26:54) Recognizing Red Flags in Parenting Dynamics

(28:54) Practical Strategies to Avoid Over-Parenting

(31:37) Embracing Independence and Building Confidence in Kids

(34:49) The Balance of Love and Guidance in Parenting

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Christian Parenting Podcast

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)

Confession is not something that we are typically very comfortable with. No one likes to admit when they do something wrong, especially when it’s something hurtful or will cause someone to feel disappointed in them. Confessing is vulnerable, it’s revealing, and sometimes it’s just downright embarrassing. But like it or not, confession is part of following Jesus.

But when we bring our sins to God we can be assured that he will forgive us. He will make our transgressions as far from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). God wants to forgive us!

In his steadfast love and compassion, Jesus forgives our sins and forgets our transgressions when we confess them. When we start to feel ashamed or guilty, we can remind ourselves that Christ died for that sin too. There is nothing we can do or say that will make God love us less or love us more. He just simply loves us!

Accepting forgiveness requires action from us, though. First, we must confess and then turn from our sin. In John 8, Jesus forgives the woman who was committing adultery, but as he forgives her, he tells her to, “go and sin no more,” (verse 11). Second, we must forgive others. God expects his followers to forgive each other just as he forgave them (Ephesians 4:32).

Confessing our sins is our get-to and should be a regular part of our faith! There is freedom that can be found in confessing our sins regularly, so let’s pray that our kids experience that freedom and experience a desire to confess to God.

Father God, you are faithful to forgive our sins. I pray that __________ would understand the gift of confession and forgiveness. May your Holy Spirit stir up in them a heart to know you better, a spirit of conviction, and a desire to make things right with you. May ________ always remember that there is no condemnation for those who believe, but in you there is freedom. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my church and pastor? Ron and I feel really grateful that we found a home at Compass Church. Drew Sherman (lead pastor at Compass) and his amazing wife Michelle are on the podcast today. 

It all started with a sermon that he preached at the beginning of the year that was SO GOOD! Even Larson remarked that it was her favorite sermon he has ever done. We are talking about the idea or the issue of: CONSISTENCY. And more specifically, how can we be consistent in our spiritual growth (for us and the kids).

It’s so easy to have huge dreams and ideas at the start of a year only to find yourself failing again and tossing your hands up. From physical goals to reading goals to financial goals - staying consistent can be the hardest part. The same is true for our spiritual goals as a family. Drew and Michelle share 4 very practical ways we can all grow in our consistency.

When he talks he gives us a sincere caution: as a pastor, he is often seeing parents with seriously high (unrealistic) goals for their kids. Don’t miss his encouragement and warning about exhausting our kids and being fixated on goals that don’t matter as much as their walk with Jesus. As he says, “Don't miss the ride and the journey!”

In this episode, we chat about:

• Why “consistency” matters for our spiritual growth
• Embracing small steps that will lead to lasting change 
• How to model faith and values in our homes
• How a grace-filled environment allows for mistakes

Enjoy!

Courtney 

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Connection

05:03

The Importance of Declaring Intentions

10:01

Consistency as a Catalyst for Change

14:58

Starting Small in Spiritual Growth

20:04

Overcoming the Urge to Give Up

27:29

Navigating Distractions in Modern Parenting

35:12

Cherishing Small Moments in Family Life

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Compass Church

Drew’s sermon on CONSISTENCY

Landon’s sermon on RESPONSIBILITY (mentions manifesting)

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be” (Matthew 6:21 NLT)

Most of us make it a priority to teach our little kids the difference between wants and needs. 

“No, you don’t need a new Lego set, you want a new Lego set.”

“I know you don’t want to help clean the house, but you need to.”

Owning things and wanting things is not a bad thing in itself. What is bad is putting those things before following God. Jesus tells us very clearly that we cannot serve two Gods, meaning we cannot serve both God and money (Matthew 6:24). Instead of focusing our minds and hearts on all the things that money can buy, we are to focus our minds and hearts on the greatest gift that money cannot buy: Jesus and his kingdom. This is so hard in our current influencer society, where you can't use your phone without feeling like you need to buy something or compare yourself to someone else, and it starts young!

This week let’s pray that our kids focus their hearts on things that are eternal instead of temporary. Let’s pray that they follow God by putting their energy into what God has for them instead of what the world tells them will make them happy and fulfilled.

Father God, you gave us everything when you gave us the gift of salvation through Jesus. I pray for ___________________. I pray that they store up treasures in heaven, that they fix their eyes on the unseen things that honor and bring glory to you Lord, not on the things of this earth. When they are tempted to idolize material things, give them the strength to see past the temptation and recenter themselves on the things that matter most. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Are you raising athletes? Are you struggling with how to best support them? Are you thinking about how their faith impacts their sport - or informs their sport? We have two experts today on the podcast, Elisabeth and Sarah Hasselbeck - both are wives of former NFL players and moms of D1 athletes. 

Listen to this episode with the entire family. Maybe sports is a place of disagreement in your family and this could open up some healthy dialogue with your spouse and children. Sarah and Elisabeth share such practical tips for you as you parent your athletes.

Don’t miss the end when both Sarah and Elisabeth share about the bigger picture of parenting. They take a moment to give heartfelt wisdom and encouragement for all parents (not just those with athletes)! I am so thankful for these two ladies and the legacy of faith their family is leaving in the sports community. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Hasselbeck family and their history of sports and faith 
• Parental involvement in sports 
• How to make faith the highest priority in your home
• How to help your athletes face setbacks and disappointments 

I have a feeling this will be one of your favorite episodes of the year.

Much love,

Courtney

(Former mediocre dancer who wanted to be a Rockette or Janet Jackson)

(02:55) The Hasselbeck Dynasty: Sports and Faith

(05:53) Navigating Parental Involvement in Sports

(08:57) Lessons from Competitive Parenting

(11:58) Managing Expectations and Financial Burdens in Sports

(19:00) Navigating Sports and Family Commitments

(20:07) Faith and Sports: A Family Perspective

(23:04) The Role of Identity in Sports

(26:01) Encouragement for Moms in Sports

(27:50) Trusting God's Plan for Our Kids

(32:00) The Importance of Great Coaching

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Elisabeth

Elisabeth’s newest book - God’s Masterpiece

Connect with Sarah 

Annabelle Hasselbeck’s Podcast - What’s Up

Family Meeting Guide

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it’” (Matthew 16:24–25)

Denying ourselves might involve taking an inventory of those things we hold more important than God. This might mean choosing between two good things, doing something we don’t really want to do, or giving something up. Mostly, denying ourselves means leaving behind a sinful life and walking with Jesus every day. This doesn’t always sound appealing, especially to a kid. But Jesus promises us that when we surrender our lives over to him, he will give us life and life to the full (John 10:10). This is the slow process of sanctification—or being made holy. We can’t do it ourselves, we need Jesus.

So while our kids may naturally think of themselves first (let’s be real, we often do too), the truth is, there is something bigger than our kids that is worth following, and that is Jesus. So this week, let’s pray that as our kids grow, they learn to deny themselves and their earthly desires and choose to follow Jesus.

Jesus, you are the king of our hearts and lives. I pray that ______________ chooses to be your disciple and that they always know that the world is not about them and there is freedom in that, release them from the pressure of that. May they evaluate their focus and, with your help and strength, be sanctified to you as they deny themselves, turn from sin, and follow you. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

I took a break from social media in December, and I could not believe the difference in my mood and clarity. This episode is not here to guilt us as parents - but to equip us! My guest, Niro Feliciano, is a psychotherapist, mom of four kids and regular contributor on The Today Show. She speaks in a language we can understand. She shares about brain science and how the dopamine high/low pattern is really impacting the moods and wellbeing of our children (and us). 

I saw Niro’s reel on the “dopamine deficit” weeks ago and reached out to her immediately to continue that conversation on this podcast. Her reel is one that you can share with your teens. If you are seeing signs of depression and anxiety in your teens - do not miss this episode.

My favorite part is when she gives grace at the end. Don’t go straight to condemnation of your parenting. If you feel you have failed your kids with technology. It’s not too late to make changes and help them through the reality of living in a digital world.

Who is ready to try a quick 24-hour or weekend reset and report back?

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Weather and Family Updates

06:01

Navigating Parenting Teens

12:02

Understanding Dopamine Deficit

18:01

Recognizing Symptoms of Dopamine Deficit

23:42

Understanding Temperament and Personality Types

30:24

Embracing Parental Imperfection and Growth

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Niro

This Book Won’t Make You Happy - Niro’s book on contentment 

All Is Calmish - Niro’s newest book (pre-order available)

Niro’s instagram reel on Dopamine - show your kids!!

Niro’s January segment on The Today Show - Grace!

The Anxious Generation

Dopamine Nation 

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep” (John 10:14–15)

Throughout scripture, Jesus is referred to not just as a good shepherd, but as the good shepherd. On top of all the things mentioned above, Jesus would and will lay down his life for his sheep. Not only that, but the good shepherd cares so deeply for every single sheep that he will leave the 99 to chase down one. In Luke 15, a shepherd leaves his entire flock to find one lost sheep, and when he does, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and calls all his neighbors together to have a party for his lost sheep who is now found (verses 5–6).

Jesus laid down his life for your kids. Jesus loves your kids so much that if they stray, he will not forget about them. They may seem lost to you, but they are not lost to Jesus. When they decide to return, he will rejoice over them and there will be a party in heaven! 

Let’s pray our kids will surrender their lives to Jesus, follow the good shepherd always, and trust his care over their lives.

Lord, you are the good shepherd. I pray that ______________ puts their trust in you and decides to follow you. May they always know that they can run to you when they are afraid, overwhelmed, or don’t know what to do. And may they always know that if they stray, you will be waiting for their joyful return! Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

This summer, I ran into a Pardon the Mess listener and asked her how I could support her parenting journey on this podcast. She said, “All of my friends talk about health and hormones every day. It’s a real struggle.” I did not disagree. Maybe it’s middle age or the fact that we have TONS of information overwhelming us on social media - but the topic of women’s health is often overwhelming. For many years, I have run on empty and taking care of myself last. Anyone else relate to this approach? 

Today’s conversation with Dr. Edie Wadsworth won’t solve everything - but will hopefully encourage you as you navigate your health journey. I believe the health of us as parents greatly impacts how we show up with our kids. It’s inevitable to feel exhausted as parents - but imagine if you didn’t. I have never really understood insulin resistance until this conversation. 

My favorite part is at the end when she reminds ME and all of us - that our value isn’t tied to our weight. I also love how she encouraged us all to not give up and keep taking small steps.

In our chat we discuss:

• Dr. Edie’s journey as a physician battling her own health struggles
• How can we understand our hormones as we age
• What can we do to make some progress when we feel stuck
• Holistic and affordable ideas when we don't want another prescription 

Enjoy!

Courtney

The information provided in this podcast episode is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare professional regarding your health concerns, medical conditions, or treatment options.

(02:55) Family Dynamics and Life in Tennessee

(05:51) Health Journey and Transition from Medicine

(08:59) Understanding Perimenopause and Hormonal Changes

(12:01) The Importance of Holistic Health Practices

(14:57) Nutrition and Hormonal Balance

(17:55) Building Muscle and Managing Insulin Resistance

(21:05) Creating Health vs. Managing Sickness

(24:10) Understanding Menopause and Perimenopause

(26:04) The Power of Self-Advocacy in Health

(29:54) Navigating Hormonal Health and Finding the Right Doctor

(31:42) The Role of Supplements and Hormone Replacement Therapy

(33:53) Addressing Joint Health and Insulin Resistance

(36:50) Overcoming Overwhelm and Building Healthy Habits

(41:31) Resources for Health and Wellness

(45:48) Embracing Worth Beyond Weight

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Edie

Edie’s Podcast

Life Mentoring School

Conversation with Ruth Soukup about weight loss

The Body Keeps Score

Young Living 

Why We Get Sick

The Obesity Code

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:3–4)

We have probably all been hurt by trusting someone or something too much. As believing parents, we know that there is something better for our kids when they put their trust in Jesus. Trusting Jesus means surrendering every part of our stories to him and knowing that his plans are good. Even if he feels far away at times, he cares for us and will provide for our needs because the world may under-deliver, but Jesus never breaks a promise.

This means when our kids trust Jesus:

• They don’t need to be afraid when they are put in an unknown situation or life feels uncertain because Jesus always wins. 
• They can feel confident that Jesus will protect them when they are facing something difficult because God answers his children when they call on him.
• They are God’s child, no matter how others treat them.
• They can have hope even in hopeless situations because Jesus has already overcome the world!
• Their lives will be blessed.

This week, let’s pray that our kids fully love God by trusting in Jesus and begin to experience his great promises.

God, I pray that ___________ learns to trust in you and your promises. When they are tempted to believe the promises of the world, may their heart be reminded that you will never forsake them. May they consistently see the sweet fruit that comes from trusting in you with their lives and with their stories. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Happy New Year!!!

I cannot believe it’s 2025. I've been thinking about this year for a long time because it’s the year my first child graduates from high school. Well, that went fast!

Today’s episode is a special one for me, but also insanely practical for all of us. We have my brother, Drew McClure, on the show today to talk about “parent burnout.” Is it just the life of a mother to feel utterly exhausted all the days of our lives? Is there a way to have more energy? Better energy? Focused energy? Meaningful energy? 

He talks us through how to make some traction this year so we don’t burnout early in the year. His thoughts are wise and sustainable and tested. As the Founder of People Profit, his job is to coach companies to eliminate burnout and increase capacity. He has a deep passion for humans and how we work. So, let’s get his take on the performance of a parent!  

Drew encourages us to start with one thing. Just one thing. You may want a journal or pad of paper as you listen to this one. It’s FULL of helpful tips to write down.

My favorite moment is in the beginning when he tells his story from going to a wild middle schooler to walking with great friends that love Jesus. It’s a powerful example of how God can step in and speak to the heart of our kids. And that even the BEST parents (mine) cannot control outside influences and your children’s decision. But God. He can work it all for good.

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33)

As we inch towards a new year, many of us are considering our goals and priorities. Some of us are coming up with our word of the year. That seemed to be the trend that started a few years back—pick one word to focus on for the entire year. I’ve heard people choose words like love, intentional, joy, courage, prayerful.

But what if our word was simply, God?

What would our year look like if we chose to focus on God before everything else?

This week, let’s pray that our kids will love God with their whole hearts and make seeking him their first priority every day this coming year and every year. 

Father God, I pray that ______________ would choose you this year. Give _________ an undivided heart and teach them your ways. I pray they would wake up every day and decide that honoring you and deepening their relationship with you would be their first priority. When it is tempting to choose something else over you, remind them that you are the same yesterday, today, and forever and that you want their whole heart. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Merry Christmas friends!!!!

I wanted to end the year with some heartfelt encouragement to each of you. Try to get away from all the noise and distractions when you listen to this one. Sit with your eyes closed or go on a walk - and pray God would encourage your anxious and weary heart.

It’s so easy to get to the end of a year and only think about the few things you didn’t do right or mistakes that were made. I want to remind you of the MANY things you are doing well for your children. God sees them. 

I share a few letters from YOU - words you wrote to your younger self. And then I read my own letter and it was so powerful for me to do that. Try to get some time to write your own letter to the younger version of you. What did you need to hear as a young mom? And then let’s receive that same tenderness and grace and love for the mom that we are right now. 

I am so thankful for our community. Let’s keep showing up for these kids and loving God in the new year ahead. You are so very loved and you are such a great mom.

Merry Christmas,

Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Reflecting on Motherhood: A Year-End Pause

06:04

Wisdom from Friends: Insights on Parenting

11:46

Embracing Imperfection in Parenting

18:10

Looking Forward: A Message of Hope

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6 ESV)

It’s easy to get caught up in the to-dos and materialism of Christmas. There are so many activities and so many gifts to purchase. And while giving and receiving gifts is exciting, the greatest gift we can ever receive came as a tiny newborn baby in a lowly manger all those years ago. It’s up to us to receive this gift! So we can always be praying that our kids will accept God’s gift, believe in him, and love him all the days of their lives.

The book of Luke tells us that when Jesus was born, shepherds worshiped and spread the word, angels sang, and Mary treasured all those moments up in her heart and pondered them (Luke 2:19). As we approach Christmas day, let’s focus our attention on those same acts. As a family let’s worship the Lord, spread his good news, sing songs of adoration and celebration, and let’s store up the memories and meaning in our hearts so that we can remember God’s great gift to us all year long.

This week, let’s pray that our kids grow to know and love the true meaning of Christmas and that they would focus less on consumerism and sparkle, and more on the good news of Jesus.

Father God, thank you for sending us the greatest gift when you sent your Son to be born. May we all focus on you this season, not on the stress, pressure, or things. May _____________ remember that Christmas should be fun, but the most important part about it is you. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Happy December!!! 

I am so very delighted to introduce you to one of my favorite moms on the planet - Dana Sheheane! This episode is a simple, rambling and lighthearted chat with one of my real life mom friends. You will LOVE her! She’s one of us folks.

I feel like we can raise amazing Christian kids - if we are wearing the right bra and our coffee stays warm. Amen? So let’s dive into some practical ideas and a girlfriend chat. 

The majority of the episode is just fun ideas and simple tips for your everyday life. However, don’t miss the end. We talk about a few intangible and critical things you need to survive in 2025 - from margin to community. Enjoy her wisdom and her adorable laugh!.

In this episode, we chat about:

• Perimenopause 
• Chico’s
• Heating mats
• Stitch guns
• Embarrassing kids 
• Best bra per Dana
• Solution for cold coffee
• And much more!

Love,

Courtney

(05:55) Parenting Insights and Challenges

(11:58) Holiday Traditions and Family Dynamics

(18:52) Navigating Hormonal Changes

(29:56) Embracing Embarrassment as Parents

(39:04) Must-Have Gadgets for Everyday Life

(45:14) Finding Joy in Everyday Challenges

(51:16) Building Community and Connection

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Resources from today’s show:

Wild Interest podcast

Dana’s Story - StoryTellersLive Part 1

Dana’s Story - StoryTellersLive Part 2

Lighthouse Family Retreat

EOS Lotion- not cherry. No scent. We lied

FYY Food Warming Mat 

Dawn Platinum Powerwash Dish Spray

Coffee Mug Warmer

Stitch Gun

Podcast episode i LOVED lately

Diva Detergent

Best Bra per Dana

Treasures in the Dark by Katherine Wolf

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44)

It’s one thing to love your neighbor as yourself, it’s a whole other thing to love your enemies. As believers, we aren’t called to ignore our enemies or to tolerate our enemies, we are called to love them and to pray for them. This is a radical teaching that goes against the norm in society because it is much easier to judge or gossip about our enemies (guilty!). But even more, we are supposed to love our enemies without expecting anything in return.

Scripture makes it clear that the most powerful way we can actually love our enemies is to pray for them. 

We begin to see a change in ourselves as we pray for others. First, we start to see our enemies the way God sees them, and God sees them as his beloved and dearly loved children, just like we are. Second, we can be freed from bitterness, resentment, and anger by praying for our enemies as our hearts are softened by the Holy Spirit. 

So, this week let’s pray that our kids will love their enemies in a radical way and that they will begin to see themselves as God sees them.

Father God, loving our enemies starts with us. I pray that ___________ would learn to love their prayed and pray for them while establishing healthy boundaries. I pray that their hearts are softened towards the people who treat them poorly so that they see them the way you do. I pray for reconciliation and peace if ________ is being bullied or bullying others. Give me wisdom in those conflicts. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

I crave mentors and wisdom! I feel like I can spot wise women in any room. Lisa Clark is one of those mentors and I’m delighted to share her with you today. You will absolutely love hearing her “best and worst parenting advice” as she thinks back over her 35 years of parenting. 

As a grandmother now, she is at a place in life where she can look back and assess what was true and what wasn’t. Some advice is helpful and some is not. Some advice is biblical and some is not. Lisa shares so many incredible pieces of encouragement with us today - from how to discipline, the role of dads, when and how to have sex talks and much more. Lisa prioritizes her faith in a beautiful way but also has a very solid grasp on the realities we are facing as moms. I always feel lighter and more encouraged after time with her. 

My favorite part is at the end when she shares why we should be deliberate in teaching the gospel. She gives very specific ways we can do this and reminds us why it matters. I am praying that you feel so deeply seen in this episode and that the work you are doing as a mom matters. 

In this episode we discuss:

• Some best and worst parenting advice
• Why adult children are amazing
• How to trust our gut as mothers
• How to help our kids learn boundaries
• How to be our child’s advocate first

Enjoy!

Courtney 

(00:00) Navigating Grandparenting Dynamics

(02:12) The Myth of 18 Years

(04:31) Evolving Relationships with Adult Children

(06:50) The Balance of Discipline and Gentle Parenting

(10:51) Challenging Conventional Parenting Advice

(14:58) Trusting Your Instincts as a Parent

(18:24) Navigating Kindness and Boundaries

(20:29) The Importance of Sleep Schedules

(22:25) Open Conversations About Sex

(25:52) The Balance of Parenting Styles

(30:33) Empowering Dads in Parenting

(33:38) Intentional Gospel Teaching

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Resources from today’s show:

Wild Interest podcast

Connect with Lisa Clark

Raising Sinners book by Lisa Clark

Raising Sinners podcast by Lisa Clark

Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp

Crossover at OU

Dr. David and Amanda Erickson episode - Discipline, Consequences

Birds & Bees (Mary Flo Ridley)

Dangers of Growing Up in a Christian Home

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35)

We are commanded to love others the way we love ourselves—which is kind of hard when we sometimes aren’t so nice to ourselves (we can pray against that for our kids). But we are also called to love others the way Jesus loves us: sacrificially and actively.

For our kids, love as an action means more than being kind to everyone, it means our kids notice when someone is left out and they include them. It means forgiving others, standing up for others, noticing the lonely, and looking for ways to serve others. It’s not always easy, but it’s always good.

When we love people in this way, the people around us notice that there is something different about us. The love of Christ shines bright so the whole world can see that we are his disciples. That is what it is all about because, at the end of the day, the most loving thing we can do for the people around them is to tell them about Jesus and his great love for us.

So this week let’s pray that our kids love others with their words and their actions. Let’s pray that when people see the way our kids treat others, they will see Jesus in them.

Jesus, thank you for loving us. Help ____________ to notice the lonely, the sad, and the hurting and love them well. May they always seek to be more than kind to everyone, but be moved to action so that they can show the world around them your love. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

What an absolute delight! If I could have dinner with 5 people (dead or alive) - it would be Jesus, Princess Diana, my grandmother, Mother Teresa and Bob Goff. What about you? Are there people in the world that have shaped your mind and heart? Bob’s first book, Love Does, had a significant impact on my faith and the way I parent my kids. So, you can imagine it was PURE JOY to have this conversation today.

He sprays wisdom, inspiration and joy like confetti - so you will not be short on takeaways for this one. I loved his encouragement for us to, “GO BE YOU!” He encourages us to reconnect and rediscover how God made us. When we do that, we have less comparison with other moms. And we can settle into who we are. And then, as parents, we get to help our kids settle into who they are.

One of my favorite parts is when he talks about his role as a dad and grandfather. He encourages us to ask “What do they uniquely need that only I could give?” Let’s sit with that today and try not to overcomplicate it. What do our kids, friends and family need that only I could give?

- Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Resources from today’s show:

BobGoff.com

Catching Whimsy - Bob’s new book

Love Does - Bob’s first book

Daily Drills

In This House, We Will Giggle 

Wild Interest podcast

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads” (Deuteronomy 6:5–8)

To love God with all our hearts is to love God despite our emotions and our circumstances.

To love God with all our soul is to rest in him. It is to know our creator and to be in relationship with him, knowing that he is where we will find peace and eternal rest. 

To love God with all our mind is to know God, but also trust him with our life, our soul, and our story. It is to know that he is sovereign and knows what is best for us.

To love God with all our strength is to live our faith in everyday life. It is to serve him by using the gifts that he has given us, being the hands and feet of Jesus, and putting into practice all the things we know to be true about God.

We love God fully when we love him in these ways and it is that full love that overflows into the way we love others. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will love God fully in every area of their lives.

Jesus, you love us completely, fully, and perfectly. May __________ love you with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. May their love overflow in a way that everyone around them notices there is something different about them. May they grow in their love for you every day and every year. Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you are having a beautiful day with your friends and family. I am so very thankful for each of you. I got to meet several of you in person at a recent retreat - and you were so kind to stop me and tell me the impact this podcast is having on your life. I care about each of you so much and it was so refreshing to meet you in person and hug you tight. 

Today’s episode is just ME! I decided to pause from interviewing guests and start a series that we will sprinkle in over the next year or so. As I am launching my first child into the world, it’s fun to look back and think “What mattered most?” One of the things that has mattered most in our parenting journey is the topic of GENEROSITY. 

As Ron and I reflect, we do believe making that a priority in our home has genuinely impacted our girls’ faith - in big and small ways. We didn’t always get it right - but we did make sure we spent very practical time giving to others. This is way more than giving money - it’s our time, talents and more.

Today, you will hear some super practical ideas too for the holiday season. You can find 100 free ideas over at Light ‘Em Up. Enjoy this season with your family shining the light of God. Praying we each have eyes to see where God is moving and that we have the courage to step in and be a part of it this Christmas season.

Send me some stories after the fact!

Much love,

Courtney 

00:00

Thanksgiving Greetings and Gratitude

10:25

Living Generously: Personal Stories and Experiences

20:02

Creative Acts of Kindness and Community Engagement

25:52

Making Room for Generosity

33:20

Listening for God's Guidance

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Resources from today’s show:

Light ‘Em Up - acts of kindness ideas

In This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s first book

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)

We tend to tie gratitude to our situation. We feel grateful if life is good or we feel happy. We feel grateful when God answers our prayers the way we want. 

But God’s challenge to us is to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances! And even when we don’t feel thankful for our circumstances, we can be thankful for this: God loves us enough to heal us (like he healed the lepers), God loves us enough to provide for us, protect us, and guide us. And most importantly God loves us enough to send his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross and forgive us our sins. 

On our kids’ journey of faith, it’s important that they learn to love God by expressing their gratitude to him. This week, let’s pray that our kids always have a grateful heart, even when it’s hard. Let’s pray that they would recognize God’s blessing in their lives and actively praise him for them.

Jesus, thank you for showering us with blessings and for changing our lives by going to the cross! May ____________ always remember that you are good. May they bow before you in reverence and awe knowing that you are worthy of praise and may they acknowledge the way you work in their life, always remembering to have a posture of gratitude towards you. Amen.

Listen to the Gratitude playlist on Spotify

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

This episode was incredibly special to me. I have long admired Pastor Louie Giglio and the work he has done through Passion Conferences and Passion City Church. I invited Amelia McBrayer, one of my favorite college kids, to join me in chatting about how to find authentic faith in the college years. This episode is packed with wisdom on how to help encourage our kids (and all of us) to not just know ABOUT God, but to really KNOW God.

Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered over one million collegiate-aged young people in events across the U.S. and around the world. It was so much fun to bring one of those students on the podcast with me today - to share what God has done through Passion and how her life has been impacted by Jesus.

My favorite part is when he talks about the ups and downs of faith. That we need to keep praying and believing for the faith of our kids - but never to shove it on them. He encouraged us to spend more time doing what we want our kids to do. He reminds us that our time as parents in God’s word and praying will have a massive impact on the lives of our kids. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• How to stop shoving faith on our kids
• Power of praying and believing for your kids’ faith
• How to practically put a touch point with God - easy ways to connect
• Tips on how to grow in a community as a college young adult

Enjoy!

Courtney 

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:02

The Impact of Passion Conferences

06:03

Faith and College Life

10:51

Navigating Spiritual Challenges

15:04

The Power of Prayer and Authenticity

20:11

The Role of Devotionals

23:05

Maintaining Faith After Events

30:08

Prayer for the Next Generation

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Grace & Glory - Louie’s new devotional

LouieGiglio.com

Passion Conferences

Passion City Church

Christian Parenting store

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“‘For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10 ESV)

Everything in our world may change, but God’s love will not be moved. Our kids will be disappointed too many times to count over the course of their lives. Despite our best efforts, even we will let them down. But throughout it all, God will not change, will not leave them, and will never let them down. His love is steadfast.

God loves us, and he loves our kids, with a fierce love. It’s hard to even wrap our heads around God’s love for us: the kind of love that led him to the action of sending his son to die on a cross to deliver us from our sins. While the unending, unshakeable, unbreakable, constant love of God may be hard to grasp, once we take hold of it, we won’t want to let it go.

For our kids to truly live a journey of faith, they must recognize and accept the full, steadfast love of God. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will truly feel God’s love for them. The enemy will lie to them and make them doubt God’s love for them, so our prayers in this area are essential!

Father God, you love us enough to send your one and only Son to die on the cross so we can be reconciled to you and live eternally with you. May ________________ fully know your steadfast love. I pray they feel your love wrapped around them today and every day, and I pray they can rest in that love. May they never doubt that no matter what is going on in their world, your love will not change. Amen.

Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

I am so fired up about this episode with Chris and Jan Woodruff. I believe serving together is one of the very best things you can do as a family. As I look back over 18 years as a mom, I can truthfully say that the times we have served together has deeply impacted each of us. We always see the best version of our family.

Many times, the service opportunities are only available for teens and older. When we discovered Lighthouse, we found a way for our kids to serve as young as 4 years old. In this episode, we talk about the benefit of serving and putting others before yourself. My goal for today’s episode is that it unlocks the power of serving together and motivates many to find unique ways to serve as a family. 

My favorite part of the episode is when we talk about the benefits of serving together. We have both seen unique benefits on each of our kids. They have practiced and prioritized serving others and we can now see how it has helped develop their character and passions and gifts. 

Challenge today: Go on a date with your spouse or grab some girlfriends and brainstorm: “What are the top values we want to instill in our home? In our family culture? And then how can we be intentional to live out those values?”

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Family Background

03:02

The Importance of Service and Generosity

05:57

Building a Family Culture of Service

08:52

Transitioning from Volunteers to Staff

11:49

The Impact of Serving on Children

15:12

Finding Individual Strengths in Service

18:00

Creating Community Through Service

20:12

The Joy of Serving Together

22:25

Empathy and Growth Through Service

24:36

Building Community and Communication Skills

26:46

The Impact of Small Acts of Kindness

28:04

Finding Your Family's Serving Style

30:39

Navigating Overwhelm in Family Service

33:45

Encouragement for Busy Families

37:04

Getting Involved with Lighthouse

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Lighthouse Family Retreat

Light ‘Em Up - 100 simple ideas and random acts of kindness

In This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s book

Under shorts for women - you’re welcome

Christian Parenting store

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’” (John 8:31–32 ESV)

To abide in Christ is to remain, continue, or stay in Christ. It means taking what we know about who God is, who we are in Christ, and what the Bible says, and using those things to grow in a permanent relationship with the Lord. It means trusting him for all things—trusting we are loved, trusting his word is true, and trusting in his promises.

Truly knowing and following Jesus means continuing to grow our relationship with him. It’s a relationship worth investing in because it is the one relationship that matters: a relationship with Jesus gives us eternal life, peace in this lifetime, and allows us to bear good fruit and do good works. 

This week let's pray that our kids will know and abide with Christ their entire lives and commit to deepening their relationship with him every day.

Jesus, I pray that ____________ would abide in you. That they would remain in your love and choose that every day of their lives. May they read scripture and learn about you in a way that lasts. Help them to keep your truth in their mind so that they may choose your ways over the world’s ways, and let it sink into their heart so that they become more and more like you. Amen.

My friend, Heather MacFayden, is a mom of four boys and I am a mom of two girls. We have two very different (but equally enjoyable) parenting experiences. We are both podcasters, but we are also real life friends. We have had many conversations over the last 10 years about the unique differences between raising boys and girls. 

We decided to take our offline conversations online for you! Part 1 is over at her podcast, Don’t Mom Alone - Boys vs Girls (Part 1): The Early Years. And today, you will hear Part 2 which is all about the dating years. We even get into the anxiety that comes with dances like homecoming and prom. 

I learned several things from Heather about how boys are feeling during these dating years. After our chat, I immediately went and talked to the girls about how the guys may feel used at times. They are more than a prop in a photo. I was encouraged to hear that her boys want deep conversations and interesting girls. 

My goal for this conversation was to grow our understanding and empathy of the opposite gender - especially if you only have 1 gender of children in your home. Let us know what you think! What do you wish moms of girls knew about boys? What do you wish moms of boys knew about girls? Send me a DM!

In this episode, we discuss:

-Dating challenges for teens today

-Ideas on how to help boys and girls interact when curiosity begins

-How social media and phones are impacting the dating process

-Seeing behind the homecoming drama - what is going on with each gender

Enjoy!

Courtney 

(02:00) Empathy in Parenting: Boys vs. Girls

(04:04) The Challenges of Modern Dating

(10:05) Navigating Social Events and Relationships

(18:08) The Impact of Social Media on Dating Dynamics

(20:21) The Pressure of Appearances in Relationships

(21:06) Navigating Modesty and Self-Confidence

(22:38) The Emotional Impact of Rejection

(23:52) Social Media's Role in Self-Perception

(24:40) Understanding Boys' Perspectives on Relationships

(25:45) The Importance of Communication and Planning

(27:39) The Dynamics of Dating and Social Expectations

(29:52) Boys' Leadership in Social Situations

(32:11) The Cost of Social Events and Expectations

(33:34) Teaching Boys About Respect and Kindness

(35:27) Building Confidence in Girls

(37:53) Encouraging Individuality in a Conformist Culture

(39:55) A Prayer for Our Children

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Resources from today’s show:

HeatherMacFadyen.com

Don’t Mom Alone Podcast

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)

Godly friends make us better, not out of shame or peer pressure, but out of a desire to see us faithful to God and pursuing his will for our lives. Godly friends know that God wants more for us than what the world has to offer, and so they will push us in that direction when we start to veer from the path.

Who our kids hang out with is important, iron sharpens iron and bad company corrupts character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Godly friends will help our kids grow in their faith and keep them accountable. Ungodly friends will bring them further and further from God’s truth.

So this week, let’s pray that our kids will be surrounded by true, godly friends and be a light to the friends around them who don’t know Jesus.

Jesus, I pray that ______________ surrounds 

themselves with friends who know and love you. I pray they would encourage each other in faith, hold each other accountable, and that their friendships would draw them closer to you. Where there is conflict, may they be quick to show forgiveness, just as you forgave us. May _____________ be a light to those around them, always showing what a godly friend is. Amen.

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules. 

This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations. 

My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it.

When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off.

In this episode, we chat about:

• Cultural shifts in parenting styles
• How to build trust and honesty in parenting 
• How to redirect behavior and manage chaos
• Ideas for discipline and consequences

Enjoy!

Courtney

Part 1

(03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application

(05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles

(09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development

(11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting

(15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies

(17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos

Part 2 

(2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting 

(6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution 

(9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive?

(12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children

(16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5

(22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2

(23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3

(27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

The Flourishing Family - new book

Identity Simplified

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules. 

This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations. 

My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it.

When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off.

In this episode, we chat about:

• Cultural shifts in parenting styles
• How to build trust and honesty in parenting 
• How to redirect behavior and manage chaos
• Ideas for discipline and consequences

Enjoy!

Courtney

Part 1

(03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application

(05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles

(09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development

(11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting

(15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies

(17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos

Part 2 

(2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting 

(6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution 

(9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive?

(12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children

(16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5

(22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2

(23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3

(27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

The Flourishing Family - new book

Identity Simplified

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:23–25 ESV)

Getting our kids to church can be a real struggle. They may fight you about it at any age (toddler to teen), it’s early in the morning and everyone wants to sleep in, and it can be hard to find a church community that meets the needs of everyone in your family. You may have been hurt by the church and find it difficult to trust a faith community again. If you identify with any of that, you are not alone in these struggles!

But we are not meant to do life alone and church is where we can find our best community. Attending church is also one of the ways we can get to know and experience God more.

The discipleship that happens in church is about relationship. There is a reason people often refer to their congregation as their “church family.” It is a place of encouragement where brothers and sisters in Christ can build each other up in love and spur each other on in faith.

So this week, let’s pray that our kids know and understand the value of church. Let’s pray that they will love the church and have a desire to serve with God’s family. Let’s ask God to help them love going to church and to feel loved, known, and safe there.

God, thank you for the gift of church. I pray that _____________ would love going to church, that it would not be something we convince them to do, but something they participate in out of love for you and your family. May they use their gifts to expand your kingdom and serve your church. Amen.

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

I couldn’t wait to have a chat with the founder, producer and director of The Chosen, Dallas Jenkins. Although that’s super cool - I also wanted it to be practical for us as parents. He was fantastic!

My kids are very visual learners and I am sure many of your children are as well, so I wanted to hear his thoughts on creative storytelling. Some kids cannot read the Bible and get what they need right away. They don’t understand the context around the stories. Dallas is a master at providing context to scriptural truth through his TV series and films. 

This conversation challenged me to keep thinking creatively about how we infuse virtues, values and faith in the lives of my kids. It encouraged me to keep living faith more than I lecture about it. We know that much of life’s most valuable lessons are “caught not taught.” It reminded me to relax if my kids are more into movies, books, music vs reading.

My favorite part is the amazing God story behind his newest movie for kids, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It is truly extraordinary how it came about. I can't wait to take my kids to see it (with all of their friends) and kick off the season that is all about the birth of our Savior.

In this episode, we chat about:

• How The Chosen series changed my neighbor’s life
• How to use creative storytelling in your parenting 
• How Dallas’ latest movie came about and how it can benefit your family

Enjoy!

Courtney

(00:00) The Power of Friendship and Faith

(02:53) Transformative Impact of 'The Chosen'

(06:05) Family Dynamics and Sacrifices

(09:01) Creative Storytelling in Parenting

(12:00) The New Movie: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

(14:55) Behind the Scenes of the Movie Production

(17:51) The Journey of Faith and Persistence

(21:00) Encouragement for Families and Communities

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

The Chosen

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide

Carpool Conversations 

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9–11)

Biblical discernment is understanding something through the power of the Holy Spirit. It means being able to see what is good vs. evil, false teaching vs. truth, wise vs. unwise. Being discerning does not mean being judgemental, though it is easy to fall into that. Being discerning means being able to distinguish the voice and will of God from the noise of the world.

It is so easy to accept what we see on social media, the news, or the internet as truth. But so often, it is far from the truth. Even our favorite Christian writers, podcasters, or pastors could share false teachings. Our kids are growing up in a world that is completely different from the world we grew up in. The access to information alone is overwhelming, which is why we need to be praying that our kids know how to discern God’s truth in the world around them. 

Our kids will face peer pressure to do things that they know aren’t right, they will be taught to follow their emotions and desires over the Lord, and they will be told that there are ways that are better than God’s. The ability to recognize those things as harmful and untrue is a gift that we all desire for our kids. 

For our kids to truly live in God’s will, they need to have a discerning spirit, so let’s pray for their ability to discern truth this week.

Father God, I pray that ____________ will learn to test what they read, hear, and see with scripture. Help them to seek your truth above all else. I pray that your word will guide their paths. May they base their life on your truth instead of the lies of the enemy and of this world. Will you daily renew their minds and make their hearts wholeheartedly devoted to you?

In this week’s episode, I have the honor of chatting with Reese - a college-aged friend that I adore. She bravely shares her testimony - one that involves abuse by a coach, a “not guilty” jury decision and God’s faithfulness through it all. Reese wanted to come on and share her story so that parents see that an authentic faith is often born from life’s toughest struggles. 

When I asked Reese’s mom about this journey, this was her text to me.

“My daughter’s journey reminds us that God can use even our worst fears and redeem them. We can’t protect our kids from their testimony. God always takes what the enemy intends for evil for good. Maybe even their very purpose. Trusting him with their growth and process and pain. We were the parents with such tight controls. No sleepovers. No phones until HS. No ipads. Locked down YouTube. My control can’t protect her from everything.”

My favorite part is when she shares a story of how God spoke directly to her during some of the hardest parts of her story. It gave me chills and also great comfort. It reminded me that no matter what our kids face - they will never be alone. I can either get swallowed up with fear and the “what if’s” of parenting or I can make the choice to lean into faith and trust God has them. He has them in the best of times and the worst. 

I am so excited for you to hear from an 18-year-old with a solid and authentic faith that wasn’t born out of a perfect life. Her faith is hers, it’s tested and it’s remarkable. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Reese’s story of abuse 
• Authentic faith birthed through hardest times
• How she experienced God so personally 
• Rees’s encouragement for parents 

Enjoy,

Courtney

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:01

Impacting Children's Faith

04:18

Overcoming Abuse and Finding Identity in Christ

08:47

Timeline and Legal Proceedings

17:06

Experiencing God through Visions and Dreams

19:28

The Table of the Lord

27:50

Encouragement for Parents

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Reese’s ministry - Abundant Grace

God Made All Of Me - recommended book for littles

Birds and Bees

Birds and Bees Episode

Untold - her favorite ministry in Africa

Ella’s purple dress from Amazon

Identity Simplified

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“But Jesus told him, 'No! The Scriptures say, "People do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God"’” (Matthew 4:4 NLT)

Reading the Bible and memorizing scripture matters because it is one way we can fight the battles in our own lives—both big and small. Scripture can help our kids (and us!) feel confident in our God-given identity, face a life crisis, and everything in between. Knowing God’s word also develops our faith and brings us closer to God. Every bit of scripture is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12), God-breathed, and teaches us to live righteously (2 Timothy 3:16). 

The more we know God’s word and keep it in our hearts, the more we understand God’s heart and his ways, aligning our wills to his. The word of God protects us from the desire to do it all by ourselves and replaces that desire with the desire to let God direct our paths. God loves us too much to leave us to our own devices. He reveals truth to us through his word so that the desires of our hearts become more like his!

So this week, let’s pray that our kids will know the word of God and lean on it to guide them in every area of their lives. 

Father God, I pray that  ____________ grows to learn your word, love your word, and see it as holy and infallible.  May they love the Bible and read it daily with the goal of knowing your heart more and more. May they rely on your word to direct their paths. Remind them to hide your word in their hearts so they can use it to fight any battle they face—now and in the future. Amen.

It’s an absolute delight to have my dear friend Lysa TerKeurst on the podcast today. Lysa has been sharing her deepest struggles through writing books, devotionals and bible studies for decades. She has a beautiful way combining biblical truth and heartfelt empathy that makes us all feel less alone. 

In today’s episode, we discuss TRUST and DISTRUST. She shares that when you starve a relationship from trust - it’s like not giving a human air to breathe. I can imagine that many of you are working through some trust issues - we all are. Whether it’s a broken friendship or marriage or a strained relationship with a family member or dear friend. It can be really hard to manage the healing and repairing process for yourself and even more difficult when it involves your children. 

One of my favorite parts is when she talks about the importance of healing in a community. She shares how natural it can be to isolate when you’re hurt - but trust rebuilds in community. I am praying this episode touches a tender topic with such encouragement and practical help.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why trust is crucial to all human relationships
• How to manage broken hearts and relationships while raising kids
• How to move towards healing with resilience 

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Practical Wisdom and Biblical Truth: A Conversation on Trust and Distrust

03:16

The Impact of Broken Trust: Emotional Abuse and Betrayal Trauma

15:24

Triggers and Discernment: Patterns of Behavior and Self-Exploration

32:55

Resilience and Healing: Overcoming Broken Trust

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

LysaTerKeurst.com

I Want To Trust You, But I Can’t - Lysa’s newest book

Dr Amen and Lysa - her brain scan

EMDR Therapy

WOW - root cover up

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (1 John 5:14)

One amazing way our kids can know more about God is through prayer. The practice of prayer involves talking to God and listening to God. We tend to be better at the talking part because, with the busyness of our lives, it can be a real challenge to slow ourselves down and listen to God! But we can’t hear a whisper when we’re running. As parents, our role is to help guide our kids into a mature faith where they can quiet themselves enough to hear God’s voice. 

Prayer should not be an afterthought in our minds. Going to God and conversing with him should be our first thought when we start a new day, face a dilemma, or experience something great! We know prayer changes things. Prayer transforms hearts, renews minds, and gives us peace that passes all understanding. We need to remember that promise because God, who wants to talk with us, will answer every prayer. It might just look different than we expect – sometimes “no” is an answer and other times we won’t understand how he answered a prayer until much later, or even heaven. 

So this week let’s pray that our kids stand in confidence, knowing that God always hears them and wants to talk with them.

Lord, may ______________ make prayer a priority in their schedule. When something happens, may their first instinct be to talk to you about it, not anybody else. I pray they learn to hear your voice, submit to your will, and deepen their relationship with you through prayer. Give them an eternal perspective, knowing that all their prayers may not be answered in the way they envision, but they will be answered in your perfect way. May they grow to be a mighty prayer warrior, confident in the transforming power of prayer. Amen.

Do you ever feel far from God? This week, we get to dive into a crucial conversation with Jeannie Cunnion. She helps us unpack this very common feeling amongst believers. She has so much encouragement around why God desires us to get closer and closer. And then, she also gives us practical ways we can grow closer to God. 

There isn’t a finish line for growing closer to God. We are all on our own journey with God. It’s personal and it takes time and it’s never-ending. However, we so often compare ourselves to other Christians in our lives. We believe others have arrived spiritually and we are behind. I am praying this chat gives you assurance and comfort in your own journey - no matter where you are in this season.

My favorite part is when we talk about “effort” vs “earn.” Sometimes, we confuse our effort to grow with the desire to earn something. The truth is that we can take steps to get to know God more without getting stuck in the lie that we must earn God’s love. Let this conversation with Jeannie give you peace and a new desire to grow closer to God through His presence.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What to do when you feel far from God
• How do we learn to put effort into our faith - without feeling we must earn it
• How to be on your own faith journey - while parenting kids on their own journey
• Why do we do what we don’t want to do  

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

JeannieCunnion.com

Closer To God - Jeannie’s new devotional

Mom Set Free

Christy Nockels 

Carpool Conversations

White Bird

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)

The world will tell our kids many things about who they are, and some of those things will be true and encouraging. Other messages from the world will be lies, and difficult to hear. No matter who is mean to our kids, what school they go to, or what position they play on the field, our kids belong to God. Your child is God’s child, holy and dearly loved. He or she is called upon, adopted, redeemed, and sanctified. Your child was created with intention for a purpose and God calls them precious. 

So let’s pray that our kids will always stand firm in their identity in Christ so that their confidence will not shake when the world feels unsteady. Let’s ask God to help them base their identity and security in him alone.

Father God, thank you for calling __________ your child. Help them to remember that you love them and call them by name, that you have adopted them into your family, and lavish your love upon them. May they know deep in their hearts that their identity does not rest in what the world says about them, but in what you say. You say they are yours! Amen.

Interested in reading more? Here are 90 Biblical truths about your identity in Christ.

I hope you are finding a theme on this podcast. I am always trying to bring you conversations about real-life problems that us moms face on a daily basis. Also, I want to always point us back to Jesus as well as practical ideas to move forward. 

Today’s episode is one of those issues we face on a regular basis: Alyssa Bethke is passionate about this idea of “being all and doing all.” She really digs into why women struggle with this. My intentions aren’t always bad as a “doer” - they just aren’t sustainable. I would love to fix it all, handle it all and make sure everyone in my life is happy. I really, really struggled with this in my 20s and 30s. However, I am so excited that I have grown in this area and found ways to trust what he’s calling me to do - and only those things. 

I love how Alyssa asks herself this question, “Lord, what is mine to do?” Don’t miss this part at the end when she gives us how she practically handles the pressure of many demands on us. As moms, this pressure to help, fix and support our kids is very real. It is very hard to face that reality - that there is never enough time or energy to do and be all. And that is where our faith comes in. How can we really lean into God so that we know what is ours to take and then we have peace surrendering the rest?

In this episode, we discuss:

• The struggle of doing it all as a mom
• The gift of boundaries and how to say no
• Finding rest in God’s grace and what he calls us to do

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

01:18

The Struggle of Trying to Do It All

08:11

Setting Boundaries and Saying No

11:08

Seeking God's Guidance in Each Season

14:58

The Desire for Control and Predictability

16:16

Finding Rest in God's Grace

16:48

The Struggle of Control and the Call to Surrender

19:05

Honesty and Unmet Expectations in Our Relationship with God

20:33

Parenting: Trusting God and Surrendering Control

25:55

Trusting in God's Goodness and Seeking His Guidance

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Alyssa Bethke Instagram 

Jeffandalyssa.com

When Doing It All, Is Undoing You - new book

Gamechanger Amazon List

Amazon List - more ideas

White Bird Movie

Carpool Conversations

Christian Parenting store

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you” (John 14:25–26 NLT)

When we declare Jesus to be our Savior and commit to following him, the Holy Spirit enters us and changes our lives forever! With the Holy Spirit’s help and guidance, we can begin to live more like Jesus and display his character, learn the truth about God, receive and grow in our spiritual gifts, and have the power and courage to share our faith. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us when we believe. The Holy Spirit helps us in every aspect of our faith journey.

When it comes to our kids, let’s pray that they would position their hearts to know the Holy Spirit and hear his voice, respond to his love, and let him guide their lives.

Lord, may ______________ grow to love you more and more every day. May they feel the presence of your Holy Spirit alive in them. Make their hearts soft so they can be more responsive to you, and when the world tries to pull them away from you and your ways, may they rely on the Holy Spirit to direct their paths. Amen.

Do you have a brand you love in your house? My girls have been obsessed with all the beautiful jewelry pieces of enewton for many years. I am always intrigued when I see a mom running a massive business. My hunch was that Eizabeth Newton was a faithful, generous and fun CEO. I learned that she is even more than that!

Elizabeth shares her story of raising triplets (and a 2-year-old) in the beginning years of enewton. She shares about her passion for generosity and how that has stayed with the company through the incredible growth and expansion. She also shares some practical ways that you can involve your kids in your business while prioritizing your family above all.

She offers so many nuggets of parenting wisdom through our chat, but I really loved her parting words for us. She encourages us to “show up and give yourself grace.” I know I needed that reminder as a mom that is trying so hard to get it right. We are doing better than we think. Keep giving it your best and give yourself loads of grace! 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Juggling business and kids
• Starting a business with triplets
• Instilling faith practically in her home 
• Conflict, comparison and celebration as siblings 
• Raising independent kids 

Enjoy !

Courtney 

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and shared connections

03:18 Having fun and not taking oneself too seriously

05:28 Parenting triplets and starting a business

08:54 The growth of enewton and giving back

12:49 Prioritizing presence and grace

15:35 Creating lasting memories and prioritizing what matters

18:08 Incorporating ministry into work and family life

20:24 Celebrating others and teaching independence

25:37 Showing up for your children and giving yourself grace

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

enewton

enewton Instagram

Flourishing Families

Read Again and Again Bible Storybooks

Christian Parenting store

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16–17 NLT)

Jesus’ death on the cross gives us access to God again. It’s not just about eternal life with him, though he promises his followers that. Choosing Jesus is also about experiencing a peace that passes all understanding and building a relationship with the father right here and right now. 

Jesus took what was broken in our world and made it whole again and he can do the same for us. 

So this week let’s pray that our kids will know Jesus as the savior of the world and choose to follow him every day of their lives. Let’s pray they would come to know him as the way, the truth, and the life.

Jesus, thank you for coming to the world and sacrificing yourself for our sins. May __________ come to understand the gift of salvation, accept your grace, and choose to follow you. May they know that they cannot earn your grace, but it is a free gift that comes from the love you have for them. Amen.

Sophie Hudson aka “Boo Momma” is one of the funniest speakers and podcasters I have ever been around. Sophie has a way about sharing truth and encouragement in this most relatable way. Today, we cover key topics from Peepers (readers you need) to why Birmingham women are so classy and then we spend most of our chat time discussing women and leadership.

In this episode, she shares the hard truth that our churches and communities have not always prepared women for leadership. As moms, we so often wonder if we even have gifts? And we often don’t even see ourselves as leaders. 

This conversation is a really important one for us as women. Sophie goes into ways we can embrace our roles as women and how to walk fully and confidently in our God-given gifts.This episode is very profound and at the same time practical. You will walk away with tangible things you can do today to see yourself more clearly - how God made you a leader.

If you have sons, don’t miss the beginning part as she shares about what God is teaching her as a parent of a grown son. She has some beautiful encouragement for moms of sons and how their relationship has morphed and strengthened over time.

I am praying you feel this conversation so fired up and excited to discover your gifts and go lead with passion! I pray that through his conversation we learn to be kind to ourselves and gracious as we learn who we are. Let’s pay attention to what makes us come alive and SEE clearly how God wired us to glorify Him right where we are.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Raising sons and what’s she’s learning lately
• Why women don’t see ourselves as leaders
• How we can begin to identity our unique gifts
• How to see yourself as God sees you - finding your unique wiring 

Enjoy !

Courtney 

What brings you alive? 

00:00

Introduction and Family Background

01:37

Active Parenting and Engaging in Conversations

04:23

The Growth of Self-Awareness in Children

07:56

The Importance of Light-Heartedness in Leadership

09:11

Empowering Women in Leadership

12:13

Recognizing and Embracing Leadership Gifts

15:56

Finding Peace in Pursuing Passions

20:02

Bringing Joy and Encouragement in Everyday Life

21:17

Finding Purpose and Identity Beyond Motherhood

23:26

Embracing Your Unique Gifts and Talents

25:53

Prioritizing Personal Interests and Passions

35:31

Living a Life that Brings Joy and Glory to God

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

SophieHudson.com

Big Boo Cast

A Fine Sight To See - her newest book

Peepers

Daily Drills

HomeGoods Camp 

White Bird

Carpool Conversations Podcast

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Scripture tells us that God is like a potter and we are like the clay that he works with (Isaiah 64:8). He forms us with his hands, but he doesn’t forget about us once he is done! We are not a clay pot that sits on a shelf and is only touched when we remember to dust it every now and then. No, God continues to shape us.In fact, God loves us so much that he calls us his own! When we choose to follow Jesus, we are adopted into God’s family where there is both freedom and grace. Our father is so faithful to us that even when we don’t choose him or we run away from him, he waits for us and rejoices when we return. There is nothing we, or our kids, could ever do that would make our heavenly father love us less (or more!).So this week, let’s pray that our kids know God as the good father that he is. 

I didn’t know “swap” was a thing in podcasting. Who knew? It was an immediate YES when we got the opportunity to swap episodes with my dear friends Sissy Goff and David Thomas. You will get to hear one of their actual episodes from the Raising Boys and Girls podcast - to get a glimpse of how they support parents across the world. 

These two have helped raise my kids in some ways. I have read every book they have written and listened to every episode of their podcast. Sissy and David, with Raising Boys and Girls, offer clinical experience and grace-filled encouragement for every stage of our parenting. You will see a glimpse of their practical parenting support and tender encouragement in this episode. 

When you were growing up, did your parents pass a feelings chart around the dinner table? Or did you have healthy conversations around emotions? We’re guessing, for most of us, that’s a no—but we’d love to hear in the comments!

In case you didn’t or are just wondering what a healthy emotional vocabulary looks like for your family, this episode is the one for you! In it, Sissy and David discuss what it looks like to fold an emotional vocabulary into the life of your family, plus stumbling blocks and building blocks that are often more specific to girls and boys (and maybe mom’s and dad’s, too). We hope it helps and that you’re HAPPY and ENCOURAGED once you have a chance to listen!

Grab a copy of Are My Kids on Track? to follow along with us through the season over on our podcast, Raising Boys and Girls.

And be sure to listen for Pardon The Mess as we appear on their podcast in the next couple weeks!

Enjoy!

Courtney 

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Celebrating around the Table

Politics Simplified

Resources from today’s show:

Sign up for Raising Boys & Girls monthly newsletter to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Tune into more of this series on the Raising Boys & Girls podcast

Go behind the scenes and watch Sissy & David’s podcast on YouTube!

Download a copy of the Raising Boys and Girls Feelings Chart.

Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at raisingboysandgirls.com.

The mother-daughter relationship can be the most special bond out there. However, it can also be tough in many seasons. The mother-daughter duo of Sandra Stanley and Allie Stanley Cooney are on the podcast today to give us very practical tips on ways to build, maintain and strengthen our relationships with our daughters.

As we think about the mother-daughter relationship, we can often jump to the things we need to add to our plate. We feel guilty that we aren’t doing enough. Sandra shares that we may need to actually eliminate things. We may need to limit what we do - to make room for this important relationship. 

As a mom of daughters, I absolutely loved this chat and it gave me so many great ideas I can still implement in my own home. However, if you have sons, you will still gain some great thoughts on connecting with all of your children.

My favorite part of the episode is when Allie shares about her college experience and how she made her faith her own. Her insight was really helpful to me about our kids finding their identity and how they can change from “I have to love Jesus” to “I want to love Jesus.” So many powerful moments from two of my favorite people.

In this episode:

• Creating a safe and loving environment for daughters
• How to pass on an authentic faith
• How to show interest in your child’s life

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Introduction and Mother-Daughter Similarities

03:50

Creating a Safe and Loving Environment for Daughters

07:16

Passing on Faith: Modeling and Encouraging a Personal Relationship with God

16:14

Modeling Authentic Faith

18:36

Personal Faith Journey

22:11

Staying Stable in Parenting

24:12

Being Available and Humble

28:30

Showing Interest in Your Child's Life

30:23

Adjusting Parenting Approaches

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

SandraStanley.com

Allie Stanley Instagram

Meet Me In The Middle - their new book

I Said This, You Heard That - temperament book

Parenting book by Andy and Sandra Stanley

Allie & Courtney - previous podcast episode

Have you ever had a season where you question everything about yourself? Have you found yourself in an insecure spot and wonder if you’re too late or too old? Do you wonder if you have anything to offer the world?

I have been in this place more times than I can count. Being a mom and balancing career and purpose and raising kids can be very complicated and very discouraging. It’s so very hard to discern what to do when God feels quiet and sometimes the path feels uncertain or vulnerable.

My guests today, Cari Trotter and Terri Flannagan, share their own stories about why it’s so hard to discern around career and calling. I believe their honest feelings and practical advice will encourage you in your own journey.

Please don’t miss this entire episode. It’s a little long, so you may need to listen in two parts. My favorite part is at the end when we start tackling the practical stuff. What do we do with a complicated situation? How can we take a step? How can we discern what to do in the next season?

I pray this episode meets you in such a special way. That you feel like we opened your heart and soul and spoke to a place that needs encouragement. I am insanely thankful for authentic and honest friends that love me and love Jesus. It’s a true gift.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Handling a midlife crisis, work and reinventing ourselves
• Balancing careers and raising kids
• How to discern what God has for us 
• How to fight the very loud lies that want us silent and frozen

00:00

Introduction and Entertaining Start

04:02

Talking About Fashion and Passion Projects

05:50

Midlife Crisis, Work, and Reinventing Ourselves

08:51

Introductions and Current Life Situations

11:54

Why Balancing Work and Personal Life is Hard

16:38

Discerning What's Next and Dealing with Lies

22:13

Navigating Transitions and Evaluating Priorities

25:20

Dealing with Comparison and Seeking Authenticity

27:13

Being True to Yourself and Finding Support

31:48

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

34:46

Staying Rooted and Grounded

37:13

Embracing Silence and Growth

44:34

The Journey of Faith

50:56

Redefining Success

57:45

Embracing Struggles and Failure

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

CariTrotter.com

Party On Purpose - Cari’s business with girls

Cari’s Instagram

TerriFlannagan.com

The Unreal Reel - Terri’s Instagram

You can imagine, I have been quite excited to share this episode with you all. Priscilla Shirer is one of the gifted preachers that has inspired me and challenged me so much over the years.

I was so thrilled to get a chance to interview her about her latest movie and book. The Forge, produced by The Kendrick Brothers, is set to release next week. I Surrender All, her latest book, just came out last week. 

Both of those new projects are all about surrender. How can we surrender our lives and go from being a believer to a disciple? I loved how she teaches us about that difference and how the idea of surrendering all can truly impact our faith (and our families).

Although Priscilla is a world-renowned teacher, preacher, actor and writer - she’s also a mom, just like us, giving it her very best. I love hearing about the ways her amazing parents instilled the practices of faith. She shares about their consistency and what she remembered about growing up in a house that honored God.

Don’t forget to grab your Prayer Journal! We will be starting to pray through that together on Pardon The Mess on September 9. Grab a friend or your small group and let’s commit to pray for our kids this entire school year.

In this episode, we chat about:

• The difference between being a believer and a disciple 
• How to walk through grief and hold onto your faith
• How to instill faith in our kids when they aren’t into it
• How to stay consistent with honoring God with your kids

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Priscilla Shirer - Priscilla’s ministry, Going Beyond

The Forge - Her latest movie

I Surrender All - Her latest book

Evans Family on Death & Loss

We are finishing our Summer of Stories with Nicole Zasowski. She is a counselor, author and speaker that shares her painful story of infertility and miscarriage. Many of you know too well what it’s like to embrace joy when you’ve walked through so much loss and disappointment. Nicole bravely encourages us all that it’s possible. It’s possible to find joy and practice thanksgiving even when mourning and grief is very present.

Make sure you follow along this week on Pardon The Mess Instagram page. I will share the picture of all of her kids that stopped me in my tracks. The photo was edited to feature her 3 kids on earth and her 5 kids in heaven all walking together on the beach. This photo so beautifully depicted the reality that Nicole is a mom of eight children, not just three. If you have been through loss like Nicole, I believe you will be so encouraged by her honesty about the emotions she feels and her journey with God through it all.

My favorite part is when she shares about the brain science behind negativity and joy. She shares practical ideas on how we can lean towards and practice savoring joyful moments. We can store these memories in a part of our brain that helps us recall them again and again.

Praying for each of you now, that you feel seen and heard through this episode. I pray that God meets you in the tender, broken and disappointed places of your heart. 

Much love,

Courtney 

In this episode, we chat about:

• Nicole’s journey with infertility and miscarriage
• Leaning into God with all of your emotions
• How sadness can help us find the joy
• How to practically celebrate and savor moments when life is hard

Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction and Background

03:48 Struggling with Infertility and Miscarriage

08:09 Feeling Alone and Finding Support

11:35 Journey Between Children

16:01 The Vulnerability of Joy

22:24 Holding Both Pain and Joy

24:17 The Power of Celebration

27:56 Savoring Everyday Moments

30:21 Celebration as a Rhythm

35:40 Engaging God in Joy and Pain

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

NicoleZasowski.com

Lost to Found

What If It’s Wonderful 

NLT Student Thinline Reference Bible

Hope for your Homeschool

Welcome to Week 9 of our Summer of Stories series! This Summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 

In this week’s story, you will hear from the hilarious and wise Karen Stubbs. How many people can say they married a Top Gun fighter pilot? Well, Karen married that guy we saw in the movies. However, she very quickly realized that the cute uniform wasn't that cute when he was away most days of the month.

Karen’s story is one of raising her young four kids without support. So many of you know this road - whether you are a single mom, have a husband that travels or works often or even if you live from friends and community. Karen shares the very honest truth of what God did when she felt completely alone and isolated in motherhood.

Make sure you get to the end when Karen shares about parenting very different personalities. She explains why it’s so important that we really know how our kids operate and the benefits of parenting them with strengths in mind. 

I am praying Karen’s story reaches so many moms that feel in over their heads and you find reassurance that God is with you every step of the way. Karen is now a grandmother and runs a global ministry for moms. She has mounds of wisdom and truth that you will enjoy!

In this episode, we discuss:

• How to parent alone from single parenting to a traveling husband
• How to practically survive in a world with little support and community
• When you realize your husband cannot meet your needs
• How to parent kids with unique personalities
• When your child questions their faith

Love, Courtney

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:53

Challenges of Military Life

08:01

Relying on God to Meet Needs

11:03

Impact on Children and Marriage

14:25

Understanding and Parenting According to Temperaments

20:13

Navigating the Challenges of Raising Kids in the Church

24:16

Finding Hope in Difficult Circumstances

31:49

Practical Parenting Advice from 'The Survival Guide to Motherhood'

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Birds On A Wire Moms

Wire Talk Podcast

Survival Guide to Motherhood by Karen Stubbs

Pinc Ministries with Ashley Hicks

Temperament & Personality Quiz

Parenting Together

NLT Student Thinline Reference Bible

Hope for your Homeschool

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

Welcome to Week 8 of our Summer of Stories series! This summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 

In this week’s story, you will hear from the extraordinary Cleere Cherry Reaves. It’s very likely that you have one of her beautiful products and didn’t even know it. Her massive heart for Jesus pours right into her beautiful company. I have enjoyed so many of her books, devotions and gifts for years. 

In the first part of our chat, we talked about her business and entrepreneurial spirit. So many of us moms have a creative stirring from God and we often aren’t sure what to do with that. How do we pursue a creative idea while raising kids? We often get overwhelmed and just put it aside. I’m praying that there’s a few moms listening that need to regain confidence and motivation to explore the creative ideas God put inside your heart.

The second part of our talk was my favorite! Cleere shares her story of going into labor prematurely and the miracle story that follows. Cleere’s son, Sledge, has faced so many uphill battles and has suffered more than any mom wishes on their child. Maybe you have a child with a tough diagnosis? Or you know of another mom with a motherhood journey that went differently than expected? This episode is for us all. We can all learn from Cleere’s undeniable faith and perseverance as she raises one strong and mighty boy.

Love, Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Small Talk

04:48

Creating Products that Serve a Purpose

09:36

The Challenges and Rewards of Entrepreneurship

13:03

Starting a Business with a Specific Person in Mind

16:11

Supporting and Celebrating Others in the Entrepreneurial Journey

28:12

From Challenges to Miracles: Trusting God's Plan

35:45

The Impact of Perspective on Others

37:37

Embracing Authenticity and Finding Joy

46:01

Trusting in the Character of God

49:59

The Power of Community and Support

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Cleerely Stated

Promises from the Psalms - card set I bought Ella

Unfiltered - Cleere’s new devotional

StrongHeart

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

Welcome to Week 7 of our Summer of Stories series! This Summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 

In this week’s story, you will hear from the delightful, creative and intentional Erin Burchik. She is a family friend and I have long-admired her approach to parenting. She desperately wants to enjoy each of her kids and embrace the “good ole days” of kids in the home. She will share how traveling and taking trips became a passion of hers. And she will share some super practical ways to make trips doable and affordable when you’re on a budget.

Before we get to the scoop on traveling for less, she shares her story about becoming a mom. Through many trials and some devastating financial loss, Erin has fought through doubt and frustration with God. She felt called to adopt and then it didn’t go as smoothly as she had hoped. It’s so fun to see her on the other side of this battle and see the family that God designed from the very beginning. 

My favorite part is when she explains the WHY behind their family adventures. She’s not traveling to flex on Instagram or show off or waste money. She’s traveling because she wants to create memories with her kids, to carve out time to adventure together and to get out of their comfort zone. I love her approach!

In this episode, we discuss:

• Erin’s journey to motherhood - foster care and adoption
• How to find community with other adopted families
• How to exchange gifts for experiences at Christmas
• How to find creative ways to do big trips on a little budget

Enjoy!!

Courtney

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

04:02

The Journey of Adoption

08:57

Building a Supportive Community

18:13

Creating Lasting Memories

20:05

Santa Bringing Christmas Trips

22:10

Maximizing Credit Card Points

25:29

Saving Thousands on Family Trips

28:21

Benefits of Traveling with Kids

30:15

Building Independence and Confidence

33:31

Enjoying Motherhood and Savoring the Moments

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

StrongHeart

Erin’s Instagram

Erin’s travel site - Points For Families

Erin’s book - Animals of the Nativity

Erin’s book - The Bear Hug

TBRI for families that have adopted

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

When I engage with young moms, I often get asked a lot about alcohol. These women are wanting me to give them an “official answer” about how a Christian woman should handle alcohol. And I often don’t have the specific answer they want - because it is so often in the gray area. And only the person asking the question knows what’s going on under the issue.

Today’s story is about a mom that got curious about her relationship with alcohol in her early 30s. As you hear her story, you will be inspired to take an honest assessment and just get curious about your relationship with alcohol. She called it “getting sober minded.” 

Although I don’t drink - I have my own vices which we discuss. I joke about my love of the phone, cookie dough and TJMaxx. If I’m honest, I often use those to outsource my comfort. This isn’t an episode for moms that drink - this is an episode for all of us. 

My favorite part is when Jenn shares about the benefits of operating in a sober mind. She reminds us that being present with our kids is worth the fight. Let’s lean into Jenn’s story together and be brave enough to hear what God is nudging us to do in response. 

Don’t forget to check in our Jenn’s community called Sober Sis and utilize all of the fantastic resources that are helping thousands of women become sober-minded and enjoy this life to the fullest!

In this episode we chat about: 

• Jenn’s journey with alcohol and finding a sober-minded life
• How to pay attention to what God is saying to us directly
• How to get curious about areas of addiction in our lives
• How to fight for presence with our families 

00:00

Introduction and Connection

02:33

Early Years and Introduction to Social Drinking

05:46

The Influence of Mommy Wine Culture

07:41

Outsourcing Comfort and Dealing with Anxiety

09:44

Questioning the Relationship with Drinking

12:30

Understanding the Mindset and Motivations Behind Drinking

19:28

Questioning Your Relationship with Drinking

21:57

Introduction: Jenn's Journey of Sobriety

25:08

The Importance of Addressing the Root Cause

28:40

Taking the First Step: Sobriety Curiosity

33:28

Shifting Mindset: Gaining, Not Giving Up

39:11

The Power of Community in Sobriety

42:59

Personal Growth and Sobriety

45:07

Conclusion: Encouragement for Moms

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

•  Sober Sis Home Page - 
• ​Happy Hour Survival Guide - Free Guide
• ​21 Day Reset Challenge 
• Sober Sis - Facebook 
• ​Sober Sis - Instagram
• ​​Sober Sis 2024 Retreat 
• ​ Look Alive, Sis! by Jenn Kautsch (book) - Little Habits, Big Faith

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

Happy July 4th!

This week’s story features my friend, Stacey Morgan, who is an astronaut’s wife! Her life is truly fascinating. Her family is currently living in the Marshall Islands which is 5 hours south of Hawaii. 

Stacey honestly shares the truth about loneliness. She has had to start over multiple times as a military spouse. I love her hard truth about loneliness: we have to make the first move. She also shares how her kids are thriving as they were uprooted from the cultural norm in Texas, and now live on an island with 1,200 people total. They are learning valuable life lessons about what’s most important.

My favorite part is at the very end when she talks about her top learning as a mom of over 20 years. Her encouragement to “let go” was really timely for me. I am having trouble letting go of my oldest who is a rising senior. I need that reminder over and over again. 

In this episode, we chat about:

• How to navigate marriage when you are both strong leaders
• How to start over when you move into a new city (or island! :)
• Why community matters in motherhood
• How to make friends as an adult woman 
• What to do when you’re deeply lonely

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:47

Moving to the Marshall Islands

05:58

Supporting a Spouse's Career

11:04

Living in a Small Community

15:01

Transition and Loneliness

23:57

Supporting Military Spouses and Moms

26:30

The Importance of Community for Military Families

31:16

MomCo: Supporting Military Moms

39:19

Lessons in Trust and Letting Go

44:28

The Power of Grace and Understanding in Parenting

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Stacey Morgan’s site 

Stacey’s Instagram

Stacey’s Book: The Astronaut’s Wife

MomCo - Military Meetups

How to start an online MomCo group

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community

If she wasn’t one of my best friends, I don’t know if I would believe this story. However, it is true and real and incredibly powerful. My friend, Kylie White, was fully healed from near blindness. Her story and her miracle has exploded my faith the last several years. It has given me courage to pray bigger prayers. 

I will never be over what God did for Kylie. Even though I’ve heard this story many times, I heard even more details during this conversation which exploded my faith yet again. God is so good. I’m truly excited for us all to have this reminder today through Kylie’s story.

My favorite part is hearing how she got to the miracle day. Listen closely as she shares the years leading up to her miracle. Lean into what God was pressing on her heart. And let’s lean into what God wants to say to you through her story. What is He asking you to release and surrender? What miracle do you believe is too far gone? 

In this episode, we chat about:

• Kylie’s miracle story and healing 
• How we can trust God and lean in when we don’t understand the full story
• How to parent the pain endured with adoption
• How to love our kids unconditionally 

Don’t forget to share the Summer of Stories with your friends - so that they can also be reminded that: God is good. You are not alone. And He is with you during life’s hardest moments.

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

03:35

Adoption and Navigating Challenges

06:45

Parenting and Unconditional Love

09:40

Experiencing a Modern-Day Miracle

28:13

Asking for Healing

30:14

Miraculous Healing

35:23

Confirmation of Healing

39:26

Orphan Prevention and Untold

42:19

Lessons Learned as a Parent

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Become a Christian Parenting Legacy Builder

Resources from today’s show:

Kylie’s Instagram

Kylie’s blog

Untold - Nonprofit Kylie supports

Father’s House - Bible study by Rachel

Welcome to Week 3 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.

I need everyone to take a massive deep breath before listening. And listen to the entire episode, not just the first few minutes. This is not a political episode. This is a story of one incredible mom, Amy Ford, that chose to keep her baby boy after an unplanned pregnancy and the God-sized story that followed. 

My favorite part is when she shares about her love for the women that walk with the shame of abortion. She is for all women and all stories. And she walks closely with women who have endured every part of the unplanned pregnancy journey. 

I am praying deeply that this story reaches an untold number of women and heals their hearts in a special way. And that we may join together and support women with unplanned pregnancies in the way God would. That we would love them deeply. 

Don't forget to share this episode with women in your community that need encouragement and healing around unplanned pregnancies.

In this episode we chat about: 

• Amy’s unplanned pregnancy 
• Amy’s encouragement for those who live with shame of abortion
• How to create a safe and supportive church environment with unplanned pregnancies
• How to turn towards God in some of life’s biggest mistakes or struggles

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Amy's Family

03:34

The Love Box and Volunteer Opportunities

06:08

The Rejection from a Pastor and the Healing Journey

09:21

The Impact of Amy's Story on Her Son

14:35

Creating a Safe and Supportive Church Environment

19:28

Healing and Hope After Abortion

22:26

Creating Safe Spaces in Churches for Unexpected Pregnancies

26:34

Taking Small Steps of Obedience

29:15

Celebrating Women Who Turn Towards God

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Become a Christian Parenting donor

Resources from today’s show:

Amy Ford

Embrace Grace

A Bump In Life

Love Box

Support After Abortion

For our Summer of Stories, I got the pleasure of interviewing a dear friend Rachel Faulkner Brown about her incredibly hard and beautiful life. In the first half of this episode, we talk about her journey with losing two husbands and walking that grief journey twice. She shares so much wisdom for other widows as well as practical tips for all of us enduring life’s toughest pain.

In the second half of our chat, Rachel bravely shares about their family’s most recent struggle - an eating disorder that quickly took a grip on her daughter. She provides invaluable insight and practical advice from the deeply painful journey they have walked.

My favorite part of the interview is when she shares honestly about the shame we can feel as mothers. As she watched her daughter walk through the hardest season of her life - she was also faced with a choice to hold onto that control or release her to God. We all have these moments in parenting and we can learn so much from Rachel’s incredible faith journey.

I’m so thrilled for you to get to know Rachel. She is a dear friend and a woman that has experienced God’s goodness throughout some of the deepest pain in her life. You will be inspired by her calling to pass on the love of God and hope to others’ in their darkest days.

In this episode, we chat about:

• How to practically move forward when you lose your spouse
• How to wrestle with God when horribly hard things happen
• How to lean into God when life is upside down
• How to love our kids when it’s hard and you must release control
• How to parent a child with an eating disorder

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

10:46

The Importance of Honesty and Community

30:28

The Need for Aggressive Treatment

39:07

The Healing Journey and Future Hope

48:17

Prayer and Encouragement for Mothers

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Never Alone Widows 

Father's House Bible Study

There is More podcast 

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Reverend Joanne Moody

St. Teresa of Avila Quote

Healing prayer - resource 1

Healing prayer - resource 2

Welcome to week 1 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.

Today’s guest is my dear friend, Joy Phenix, who bravely shares her journey of losing her amazing son. Her story of loss and indescribable grief is so very hard to hear but oddly peaceful and sacred. 

My favorite part is when she encourages us to be a student of others’ grief journey. Every single person grieves at different times and in different ways. We cannot judge our friends or family members on that journey. This takes patience and grace and understanding. 

This episode is for anyone walking in grief - not just the loss of a child. All of us have seasons of tragedy and unthinkable hard times. We want to know how to trust God again and how to move forward in the midst of the pain. Joy will touch your heart in a profound way. I am deeply thankful for her willingness to share her story to help others. 

In this episode we chat about: 

• How to endure the indescribable journey of losing a child
• How we can help and support friends in their grief 
• How to remember each person grieves differently and at unique times
• How to normalize talking about grief through the process 

00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

09:16

The Power of Community in Times of Loss

15:30

Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith

28:25

Cherishing Memories and Finding Healing

34:38

Vulnerability and Trust in Difficult Times

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Josh’s Celebration Service

Joy’s Instagram

Body Keeps The Score

Comedian Michael Jr went from living in his car to one of the most influential and talented comedians in the country. In fact, he used to open the show for Jerry Seinfeld and went on to headline his own shows. He is now sharing the stage with his wife, Ebony, as they focus on strengthening marriages across the country.

This engaging couple shares many great pieces of wisdom and insight during our episode, but I really enjoyed how they speak about conflict. It’s so easy to avoid conflict at all costs. They encourage us to utilize conflict for the greatness of marriage 

My favorite part (or least favorite) was when Michael Jr. asked me to share honestly about a recent disagreement I had with Ron. He went through the list of the fruit of the Spirit to see how I was handling a specific situation. And I bombed his test. It was embarrassing, but really challenged me on how I handle conflict. I love their hearts for marriage. They have a passion to remind couples that marriage is GOOD and it does work.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How easy it is to drift in marriage when kids are in the home
• How to keep your marriage a priority and intentionally connect
• How to utilize conflict instead of avoiding it

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Family Background

04:04

Letting Go and Trusting God with Our Children

08:54

Faith as a Consistent and Visible Part of Family Life

23:53

Merging Talents to Help Couples Find Joy in Marriage

29:19

Revealing Areas of Freedom Through Conflict

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Funny How Marriage Works

Assessment for your conflict resolution 

Emotions Wheel

Funny How Marriage Works Tour

Happy almost Summer!! I am delighted to share the story of Sarah Harmeyer and her love for gathering neighbors. You will be so fascinated by her story of creating a table and setting out to have people over. Over time, she hosted thousands of people just one night at a time. She absolutely inspired me to get back out there and invite folks to my home. 

You will be inspired and motivated and so very touched how God used Sarah’s life to start a movement called “Neighbor’s Table.” He took a nudge in her heart and kept expanding it across the country.

My favorite part was at the end when we talked about her current living situation with her aging father. She is so tender and so gracious with his walk with Alzheimers. I pray that I handle my own parents with such care and compassion one day.

In this episode we chat about: 

• How a simple dinner party created a movement
• Why your neighbors need community 
• What an invitation can do for an individual
• How we can preach less and simply love more
• How to care for aging parents with compassion

Chapters00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

10:01

Stories of Love and Connection Around the Table

22:59

Building Relationships with New Neighbors and Introducing Sarah's Dad

27:02

Caring for Aging Parents with Love and Compassion

30:53

Closing Remarks and Action Items

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Sarah’s Instagram

Neighbor’s Table

Invite Sarah to Speak

Table Talk Questions - source Close To My Heart

Kindness Diaries with Leon

Leon Logothetis

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20

We’ve spent this school year praying for our kids to be marked by the things of God. We’ve prayed that they live with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.

Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love.

The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.

We’re God’s Plan A for spreading the gospel. There’s no backup plan, there’s no contingency, and there’s nobody else to tag in for our spot.

But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles.

Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.

Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids will be marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.

Lord, thank you for the gift of my children and the privilege of praying over them this school year. Please mark their lives with a determination to fulfill the mission you created for them before they were ever born. Give [name] the wisdom to pursue you every day and a spirit of urgency in following your plans for their life. 

God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 2:9; Mark 16:15; 1 Peter 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:13–14

When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid. 

Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally. 

Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents. 

My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes. 

In this episode we chat about: 

• When to see a therapist or counselor
• Why counseling is so important for families 
• Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew

Chapters:

00:00

Introduction and Personal Connection

01:36

Dr. Cassie Reed's Background and Passion

08:35

Recognizing the Need for Professional Help

10:06

Finding Affordable Therapy Options

12:55

The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children

14:36

Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior

22:26

Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children

23:49

Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children

26:19

The Impact of Technology on Children's Mental Health

27:10

Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents

29:04

Dr. Cassie Reid's Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

CassieReid.com

Cassie’s Instagram

Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid

Come Home

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

My Daddy’s Hero

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” —1 Samuel 7:12

The Israelites were in desperate need of a victory against the Philistines. Just as they were convincing themselves it was a lost cause, Samuel cried out to God and received an answer in the form of deafening thunder that scared away the enemy and secured an Israelite victory.

Orthodox battle move? No. God protecting his people? Absolutely.

No sooner than they finished their victory lap, Samuel stopped everyone in their tracks to make a critical point. He grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.”

Samuel knew their battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.

Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy. 

What are the Ebenezers in your family? Where do you need to start laying down stones as reminders to your family that God’s faithfulness in the past shows he’s trustworthy for the future?

Lord, remind us to always pass down the stories of your faithfulness. Mark [name] with a good memory of your provision, giving them confidence to trust your heart when they can’t see your hand. Help us to celebrate the places where you’ve given us victory, making a lasting memorial of your faithfulness for generations to come.

God’s word speaks: Deuteronomy 7:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Lamentations 3:22–23; Psalm 86:15

If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day.

My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.  

My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life.

In this episode we chat about: 

• How to live this one life well
• How to push against busy and impossibly full schedules
• How to pay attention to what your soul craves 
• How to help your hurting friends 

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess 

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey

Farrell’s new book: Soulfull

Come Home

Chapters:

00:00

Introduction and Connection

09:50

Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time

16:22

Commitment to Intentional Living

32:21

Finding Hope in Difficult Times

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” —Philippians 2:3–4

We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit. Humility is not ignoring their giftings, but it’s teaching them to be willing to use them in a way that draws attention to the Giver of the gift rather than the gift itself. Humility is also not a call to raise silent or passive kids. Rather, it’s teaching them a quiet and meek spirit before God.

Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story. He was righteously indignant when necessary but gentle and loving in leading his flock.

We’re praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admitting their mistakes, and recognizing that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).

Lord, you’re the perfect model of living humbly while making a kingdom impact on those around you. Give [name] a spirit of humility and the desire to bring you glory, even when it comes with no acknowledgment. Help them to honor others above themselves and to live in your confidence so they don’t need praise or acceptance from others.

God’s word speaks: Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; James 4:10; Colossians 3:12