449 avsnitt • Längd: 25 min • Veckovis: Torsdag
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone breaks down the centuries of sexist socialization that causes us to struggle with self-doubt, burnout, and anxiety.
Hosted by Master Feminist Coach Kara Loewentheil, J.D., founder of The School of New Feminist Thought and author of Take Back Your Brain (Penguin 2024), each episode teaches you how to turn down the noise of societal expectations, turn up the volume on what YOU really want in life, and change your thinking to make sure you go get it.
This podcast is an essential resource for anyone eager to embrace a life free from limiting beliefs and societal constraints.
If you ever find yourself asking questions like…
*Why am I so anxious about stuff that isn’t a big deal?
*How can I stop overthinking everything?
*Am I selfish for wanting my life to look different?
*Will I ever feel comfortable in my body?
*Am I a bad parent?
*How can I ask for more money at work?
*Can I stop people-pleasing?
*How can my partner and I communicate better?
… then you won’t want to miss an episode.
Visit schoolofnewfeministthought.com to learn more about The School of New Feminist Thought and more.
The podcast UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone is created by Kara Loewentheil. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
Who you choose to tie the knot with is one of the biggest financial decisions you'll ever make. Even though marriage has evolved a lot over time, it is still an economic institution that women regularly lose their financial independence to. So, whether you're single or partnered, how can you prevent this from happening?
To answer this question, I'm joined by tax attorney, wealth expert, and author of her new book, "All the Presidents' Money", Megan Gorman. Megan shares how to have those important money conversations with your partner early on and her advice for creating a monthly money ritual with your significant other to stay on the same page. She also explains why women often give away our financial power in relationships - and how we can take it back.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/369
IT'S HERE! My new book "Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out" is officially available as an audiobook and hardcover wherever books and audiobooks are sold!
Are you catastrophizing about current events and feeling paralyzed by fear and uncertainty? It’s easy to get caught up in the echo chamber of social media and the news, leaving you feeling disempowered and overwhelmed. But what if you could learn to hold belief in the world you want to see, even when the evidence isn’t there yet?
In this bonus episode, I explore some of the common thought errors that arise during challenging times. From the idea that we have to be freaking out to prove we care, to the belief that self-coaching isn’t relevant to larger societal issues, these thought patterns can keep you stuck and unable to take meaningful action. I offer shifts that I have seen to be helpful for both myself and my students in cultivating the mental fortitude we need to keep showing up for the world we believe in.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/election-mindset-shifts/
Have you ever avoided dealing with a problem, hoping it would just go away on its own? I know I have -- and I have a WILD story to share with you about what happens when we do this.
Join me this week to understand why problem avoidance is so tempting but so counterproductive. You’ll learn how the consequences of problem avoidance can play out in your life, and most importantly, practical strategies for facing your problems with courage and resilience.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/368
Given the events in the United States this week, many of us have brains that are running wild. You might be feeling scared, angry, disappointed, and a whole slew of other emotions. You're not alone-- and this bonus episode is here to help.
Join me to hear why catastrophizing isn’t useful or accurate (even if it seems like everyone else is doing it), my own experience of anxiety and fear the last time we had the same results in 2016, and my top 5 tips for what you can do right now to keep yourself grounded and your head clear.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-calm-brain/
Do you ever feel like the more successful you become ... the worse you feel? Jerry Colonna, a venture-capital-guy-turned-Buddhist-executive-coach, found himself in that exact position - until he decided to do the hard work of confronting himself.
In this episode, we discuss how practicing radical self-inquiry with compassion is essential for anyone who wants to lead - whether they're leading a company, a family, or just their own life. You'll learn why resolving conflicts mindfully is a critical skill -- as is embracing the messiness of being human.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/367
How often do you feel like you’re concealing the “real” you? Do you struggle with being your authentic self, especially in challenging environments? “Authenticity” has become a very popular buzzword -- but what does it really mean?
This week, I’m joined by Deesha Dyer, former White House Social Secretary and author of the book, "Undiplomatic: How My Attitude Created the Best Kind of Trouble". Deesha shares her incredible journey from going to community college at 29-years-old to working up the ranks in the Obama White House, and the challenges she faced along the way in staying true to herself. We discuss how to navigate being your authentic self in difficult environments - especially if you hold one or more marginalized identities - and the true costs and benefits of standing out.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/366
Grab this totally free guide, Closing the “Brain Gap” In Women’s Therapy: Three Ways to Deepen Rapport, Get Better Results, and Blow Your Clients’ Minds, here: https://feministtherapy.com/
Are you having a tough time figuring out whether therapy or coaching is right for you? Both have their own benefits, but it can be overwhelming to figure out which one is the right fit. And let's be real - people are always trying to compare them and say one is better than the other (trust me, I've got thoughts on this). There's a lot to unpack here, and I'm diving into it all in this episode!
This week, I break down the debate of therapy versus coaching and how these practices can actually work together to support your personal growth journey. I guide you through some essential questions to consider when deciding between therapy, coaching, or a mix of both. Plus, I reveal the one crucial factor to keep in mind when making your decision. So grab your headphones and let's dive in!
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here:
I'm sure there are plenty of you who saw the word "strategy" in this episode's title and thought, “I’m not a strategic thinker, so this won’t apply to me.” And I don't blame you -- social conditioning teaches women that we’re either workhorses, nice, or lucky, and that being strategic is beyond our capabilities. Well, today's conversation is here to challenge that conditioning.
You've probably heard of Seth Godin - entrepreneur, marketing genius, and bestselling author. He joins me for this bonus episode to explore how you can use strategy to overcome the indoctrination systems that keep us oppressed. You’ll learn why you ARE a strategic thinker, and you’ll see all the areas of your life where you could choose to think more strategically with a long-term perspective, instead of looking for short-term comfort.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/seth-godin-bonus
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I’ve got to get my shit together?" -- even if your life is... pretty together, given the circumstances? Even if you're the most productive woman on the planet, that nagging thought can still creep up—and it’s actually not about how organized or efficient you are. It's just a sign you've fallen into what I call the Efficiency Trap.
This week, we uncover the real reasons behind the Efficiency Trap and how to redefine productivity in a way that aligns with your goals, priorities, and values. Let's break free from the endless to-do lists and find a path to productivity that truly matters.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/364
How do the messages you received as a child impact the way you parent your own kids? What if we could raise the next generation to be more empowered, resilient, and free from limiting gender stereotypes? To explore these questions, I’m joined by clinical psychologist and author of the new book, Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD.
As an expert in feminist parenting, Dr. Finkelstein is here to illuminate how even the most well-intentioned and progressive of us unconsciously transmit harmful messages. Jo-Ann and I explore the importance of both validating girls’ experiences, and opening parents’ eyes to the ways we unintentionally shut down our daughters. Whether you're a parent or not, you do not want to miss this conversation!
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/363
Have you ever thought about what a truly fulfilling life might look like to you? Not just a life that includes more fleeting moments of happiness -- but a life that's sustainably joyful, calm, and rewarding.
Join me for this Greatest Hits episode to hear the difference between the emotion of happiness and big-picture happiness, the role of confidence and self-safety in achieving your wildest dreams, and how happiness, confidence, and self-safety work together in powerful ways.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/362
How often do you feel like you don’t REALLY know what you want? Do you ever catch yourself waiting for someone more knowledgeable, responsible, or wise to either validate your choices or tell you it’s a bad idea? Join me this week to learn why so many women struggle with being decisive and how our socialization impacts the way we think about making decisions and taking risks. You’ll hear why there is so much value in embodying decisiveness, and my top tips for practicing self-coaching around your ability to become a decisive person.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/361
As you heard last week, women are constantly taking over-responsibility for everything and everyone in their lives- and it's exhausting. What if I told you there’s an antidote that doesn’t require isolating yourself in the woods or becoming a self-centered jerk? Well, you're in luck because in this episode, I explore the solution to over-responsibility: self-responsibility. You’ll learn why self-responsibility is the key to showing up in a way that’s supportive and aligned with your values, and how to begin letting go of the exhausting burden of over-responsibility.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/360
Society teaches women that we are responsible for everything – from our appearance to others’ emotions, and even outcomes beyond our control. This belief system leads to anxiety, guilt, and shame, creating a constant state of mental and emotional exhaustion – and it's time to put an end to it. Listen in as I break down how over-responsibility manifests in women’s lives, what happens when you subconsciously or consciously believe you’re responsible for everything and everyone, and the long-term consequences of staying stuck in over-responsibility.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/359
As women, we’re taught not to think too highly of ourselves or to believe that we’re "special". Only a select few can be extraordinary, so why try, right? This insidious socialization convinces us to keep playing small- but I'm done shrinking myself, aren't you? In this episode, I share a why embracing your capacity to be extraordinary is key to creating the life you want, and how to step into your own unique version of an extraordinary life -- beyond what history has told us we're "allowed" to do. Let's go!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/358
If you have a big, ambitious goal- whether it’s becoming a bestselling author or something else entirely- this week's episode is for you.
When my book, Take Back Your Brain, hit the New York Times Bestseller list, most of the other books had been there for weeks, were written by authors with millions of social media followers, or both. So how did I get there? I'm pulling back the curtain this week and teaching you how to adopt the identity and habits you need to achieve whatever big, audacious goal you are working towards right now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/357
Are you tired of feeling like you have to follow a strict set of rules when it comes to planning your wedding? If so, you NEED to tune in this week.
In this episode, I share how my husband and I created a feminist wedding experience that was authentic, meaningful, and joyful for us and our loved ones. You'll hear tips on how to incorporate feminist principles into every aspect of your wedding planning, from choosing vendors who align with your values to finding creative ways to honor loved ones without succumbing to traditional gender roles. It is so important to stay true to yourself when navigating any patriarchal tradition, and this episode is here to help you do just that!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/356
Parenting can be a real trip, right? We spend so much time telling our kids what to do and how to behave. But what happens when they grow up and don't need us to micromanage their lives anymore? It can be tough to let go of that control.
Here's the thing - even as our kids are become more independent, our brains may still hold onto that urge to guide them. In this episode, I dive into why these urges exist and how they affect our relationships with our children and parents. So grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's go!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/355
As women, we're often placed in prefabricated boxes that come with their own roles and expectations -- also know as the virgin/mother/whore paradigm. But what if you don’t want to be stereotyped into these roles? Is it even possible to just stop giving a shit and live your life the way you want?
In this re-release of one of my favorite interviews I've done in the last year, I sat down with top-rated self-love podcaster and author Mary Jelkovsky on her podcast, Mary’s Cup of Tea, to break down the sexist roles and expectations placed on women. We dive into the virgin-whore dichotomy and the maiden/mother/crone paradigm, explore the constantly shifting expectations women face (including a very spicy discussion about Botox), and discuss how to stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions. Hit play to listen now!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/354
Do you wish your anxiety would just -poof- disappear? Most people would give anything to get rid of their anxiety, but have you ever considered that it could actually be... somewhat useful, too?
In this episode, I explore the idea that in some cases, anxiety can actually be a powerful motivator. I discuss when and how anxiety can be beneficial, the importance of understanding its root causes, and strategies for managing it effectively. If you’re unsure about whether anxiety is your enemy or your ally, click play and discover how to harness its energy without letting it overwhelm your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/353
There's one big question most people brush up against when they start learning about thought work: "Is everything my fault? These are MY Thoughts, after all!" The answer isn't as simple as it may seem, and I'm showing you why this week.
Join me for this Greatest Hits episode where you'll expand your understanding of thought work, discover the flaws in coaching yourself through anger, and learn a crucial question to ask yourself if you tend to get caught up in other people's models. Now grab your headphones and let's dive in!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/352
Are you waiting for something to magically change in your life? Or, would you rather take control and create the outcomes you want most? This week, I share four inspiring real-life stories from my students in The Feminist Self-Help Society. These women have embraced the tools and coaching offered within our community to transform their lives- and you can too! Tune in now to hear firsthand accounts of transformation and liberation, and discover why The Feminist Self-Help Society is the supportive community you've been looking for.
We've got a special bonus available when you join this week - so come check us out at unfuckyourbrain.com/society!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/351
What if I told you that facing emotional difficulty head-on -- instead of numbing out, hiding from it, or trying to "positive-think" your way out of it -- could lead to incredible growth and opportunities? In this Greatest Hits episode, we dive into the concept of self-development not being easy, but oh so worth it. You'll discover how to develop discernment and self-trust, and learn when emotional difficulty is truly worth working through. Facing emotional growth may not be fun, but this week's episode will tell you why it can be one of the best things you'll do for yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/350
In celebration of Independence Day, I'm discussing one of the ultimate forms of independence - breaking free from caring about what others think. As social creatures, humans have evolved to rely on relationships for survival, making us sensitive to others' opinions. However, this conditioning is often even deeper for women and can impact every aspect of their lives, including their careers, relationships, self-worth, parenting, and so much more. If you want to stop obsessing over what others think and start living unapologetically, where do you begin?
Join me as I dive into why women struggle with this issue and provide actionable steps to rewire your brain and liberate yourself from this mental burden.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/349
Understanding what you want is key to creating a life you won’t regret when you die. So why do so many women struggle to pinpoint exactly what that is? If you can relate, in this Greatest Hits episode, I break exactly down what it means to want something (and why women especially might struggle to identify that), how to know what YOU truly want, and how to decide whether it's worth pursuing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/348
How do you know if you’re happy? Not just momentarily, but in the big picture sense of living the life you truly want with no regrets? Join me this week as I outline what big-picture happiness means, how it differs from the emotion of happiness, why creating big-picture happiness involves taking risks, and the roles confidence and self-safety play when it comes to going after what you want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/347
Do you find it hard to relax if there’s still laundry to be done, or if someone’s mad at you? Most women do. The reality is that most of us find resting and feeling pleasure in general extremely challenging. But why?
Join me for part two of our mini-series on happiness this week to learn why we find it hard to rest, relax, and enjoy ourselves, and why it’s critical that we learn how to. I’m showing you how our socialization has alienated us from our bodies, the conflicting definitions of happiness we’re fed as women, and the importance of learning how to be physically present.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/346
Can you be a feminist and still participate in finding a partner in today’s dating landscape? How can you allow yourself to want a partner while maintaining your independence and autonomy? These are some of the questions we address in this bonus episode with one of my favorite people ever, Lily Womble.
Lily is a feminist dating coach and the founder and creator of Date Brazen, a feminist dating coaching program and movement that I really wish was around when I was dating. We discuss dating apps and why they are both useful tools and addiction-creating slot machines, how to navigate the dating world with your values and true desires at the forefront, and how to give yourself the radical permission you crave to go after what you want. Her new book "Thank you, More Please!: A feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love" is out today!
Get full show notes, transcript, and links to Lily's work here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-lily-womble
If you identify as a feminist, you've probably heard the stereotypes: we're "angry", "too serious", and "can't take a (typically sexist) joke". While being a feminist does mean caring about serious issues, another crucial part of taking your brain back from the patriarchy is learning... how to be happy, too. But what does that even mean and how do we do it?! If the idea of being happy confuses you, or you're not even sure if you SHOULD be happy, click play because I'm breaking it all down in this episode.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/345
In this episode I sit down with Bonnie Hammer, Vice Chairman of NBC Universal and author of the upcoming book, "15 Lies Women Are Told at Work and the Truth We Need to Succeed." And while I'm not normally impressed by people's job titles... with a book like that on the way? We obviously had to sit down for a chat. ;)
Join me as we discuss Bonnie's remarkable career journey, from her early days cleaning up behind-the-scenes to leading major TV networks. We delve into the importance of mentorship, the lies women face in the workplace, and how to shatter those barriers.
To join The Society, click here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/the-society/
Ever wonder if you're capable of having a world-changing idea? Or why so many women struggle with self-doubt and tend to downplay their successes? In this episode, I chat with Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and the author of the international best-seller 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do. Amy's personal journey through grief and loss led her to uncover the secrets to mental strength, and she's here to share her wisdom on building unshakeable confidence. We talk about the societal pressures that make women doubt themselves, explore fascinating research on how boys and girls are treated differently from a young age, and share some practical tips to help you stop self-doubt in its tracks and truly own your brilliance.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/344
Order your copy today! Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head - and How to Get It Out: https://www.takebackyourbrainbook.com
Drumroll, please! My book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head - and How to Get It Out, is finally here!
Having my book out in the world is such a surreal experience. I’m incredibly proud of the work it took to write it, and get it out into readers' hands all over the planet (and, hopefully, your hands too)! But honestly, there have been some serious highs and not-so-highs with the whole process, and I’m diving into why in this episode.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/343
Order your copy today! Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head - and How to Get It Out: https://www.takebackyourbrainbook.com
Dive into the transformative world of Radical Acceptance and Action with me in this episode! We're not just talking theory; we're exploring how to apply these powerful practices in your everyday life. Plus, an exclusive announcement on the release of the Take Back Your Brain audiobook, narrated by yours truly. Whether you're a reader, a listener, or both, I share why this new format is a game-changer. And if that's not enough, when you purchase the audiobook, you'll get a FREE ticket to an immersive one-day virtual workshop in September where we'll go deeper into these concepts. Tune in to find out more and join the journey to connect with your feminist future self. Don't miss out —your radical transformation starts now!
Get your copy of Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
You’ve probably heard of the term ‘future self'... but what does it mean to become your future self? In this final episode of the Feminist Mindset Principles Series, you’re going to learn how to use the concepts and tools we’ve explored so far to become the future version of yourself, and how this evolution creates a better future for the world. I’ve come to see this process as creating my feminist future self, and I’m showing you how to start creating yours today!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/342
In this bonus episode, I'm dismantling the all-too-familiar cycle of overwhelm that seems to haunt us all. You know the one - where your plans to relax are foiled by a messy house, an overflowing inbox, and that nagging inner critic reminding you of all the ways you're supposedly falling short. It's a relentless loop that has us reaching for productivity as a measure of worth and leaves us feeling anything but accomplished. But, what if I told you it doesn't have to be this way? This episode not only dives deep into why this pattern occurs but also offers real, tangible solutions to break free. Listen in now for more!
Order your copy of Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
How often do you vow to do better in the future, or dream of being different... and how often does that actually happen? Whether it’s a mistake at work, a fight with a loved one, or falling short on your personal goals, it’s tempting to promise yourself "You’ll get it right next time!" But, as you'll hear this week, you can’t just hope or promise to be different and expect it to magically happen. I’m showing you why we tend to jump to this place of delusion, and what you must change today if you want to take different actions in the future.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/341
In this bonus episode (and sneak peek of my new book!) we unwrap the often-unspoken complexities surrounding women and money. We'll take a deeper look at my own money story, the societal illusion that money is a domain reserved for men, the stigmatization of desire for wealth and a few thoughts to consider instead!
This episode isn't just about reforming your money thoughts; it's a call to action for all women to seize control of their financial narratives, challenge the status quo, and redefine what it means to be successful, wealthy, and most importantly, at peace with money.
Order your copy of Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
Does it sometimes seem like your brain has 0 interest in letting go of the old beliefs that no longer serve you? Yep, been there too -- and it's all too common. But the good news is: With the right tools, you CAN change your brain and your beliefs. This skill is the Holy Grail of thought work and it can transform your whole life. However, it's not necessarily easy. So in this episode, I'm sharing the ONE crucial skill you must learn in order to successfully change your beliefs, and two massive brain blocks to look out for.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/340
Have you ever heard of object-of-desire based arousal? It's a product of socialization that explains why we find it SO hard to feel turned on or sexy if someone isn't actively desiring us. In this episode, I explain this concept and give you a sneak peek of the rest of chapter 7 of my book- which is all about sex, dating, and romantic relationships. If you are struggling in dating or you're unhappy in a romantic relationship... you need to hear what I share in this episode. Let's go!
Pre-order my book, Take Back Your Brain, here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
Ever find yourself caught in a whirlwind of negative emotions? One moment you're feeling hopelessly sad, and the next, you're steeped in embarrassment or grappling with relentless anxiety. We've all been there! So in today’s episode, I’m going to lift the lid on why this happens and how you can nudge the intensity of these emotions down a notch — making them much more manageable. Tune in this week to start your journey towards feeling better... or at least, less bad.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/339
In this mini episode, we're taking a sneak peek at Chapter Six of my upcoming book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out. It's a chapter close to my heart, as it dives deep into the fascinating world of perfectionism and validation, revealing why our brains are so hooked on the approval of others and how this cycle impacts our self-esteem. If you've ever found yourself yearning for someone's approval only to question it moments later? This episode is for you.
And don't forget to preorder your copy of the book -- and grab some fantastic bonuses in the bargain -- at https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
Have you ever paused and asked yourself if everything you think is... even actually true? That’s exactly what we're tackling in this week's episode, where we'll discuss whether you can ever objectively prove whether a given thought of yours is fact or fiction -- and whether it even matters. This realization is a stone cold game-changer. Listen in to hear why.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/338
If you've ever found yourself in a silent war with your body, or comparing yourself to everyone around you as soon as you walk into a room -- trust me, you're not the only one. But, here's a thought: what if it's not about changing what's on your plate, but rather rethinking how we consume these pervasive cultural stories that mess with our heads? In today's episode, we're going to chat about a chapter from my book that's all about how our patriarchal society shapes the way we see our bodies -- and how to reclaim our bodies as ours and ours alone, and appreciate them for the incredible vessels of life they truly are.
Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
Behind the door of self-coaching lies an entirely new version of you and your life... but there are three keys required to unlock that door. Almost every time I coach someone, they're missing one, two, or all three of these keys -- and it's blocking them from the transformation they want. Today, I'll teach you exactly what the keys are, which one you might be missing, and what to do next. Let's go!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/337
In this bonus episode, we delve into the common struggle of changing bad habits and behaviors. Kara shares her personal experience of feeling stuck in a cycle of vowing to be different but not knowing how, until she discovered the key to breaking free. Learn how understanding the impact of our thoughts on our behavior is the first step to creating lasting change. Plus, discover the disappearing bonus of the week in this limited mini-series!
Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
You know how it kind of feels like everything is going wrong with the world at once right now? There’s war, climate concerns, an upcoming election, and more. Staying on top of the news is so stressful but ignoring it doesn’t seem like an option either. It’s exhausting and demoralizing and it’s a lot for our brains to handle. But don't worry, I've got you. This episode is going to help you solve this conundrum and figure out how to stay informed and realistic without just bottoming out in despair.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/336
If you've ever felt like you're at the mercy of your negative emotions... you're not alone. And in a world of self-help advice that insists you should "Feel your feelings!", what are you supposed to do when those feelings become overwhelming, and you just want them gone? In this second episode of my new limited series, allow me to introduce you to the three Rs of emotions, and offer you three different ways of handling those negative feelings when they pop up (along with a sneak peek of my upcoming book, Take Back Your Brain!)
Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
Have you ever felt embarrassed about perusing the self-help section of a bookstore or reading a self-help book out in public? Maybe you wonder whether trying to fix yourself is just the patriarchy at play in your brain. Do you even need to ‘fix’ yourself to begin with? To explore the answers to these questions, this episode is the first in a 10-part series aimed at getting us all on the same page about the foundation of feminist thought work. Listen in to hear the difference between sexist self-help and feminist self-help, and how one is deeply harmful while the other frees you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/335
Have you ever worried that thought work might be helping you get comfortable with bad circumstances? Do you wonder if the idea that we're responsible for our circumstances is a form of gaslighting or victim blaming yourself or someone else? Does the thought ever pop into your mind "Thought work is for privileged people without real problems"? Tune in to today's very special episode for more on this, a sneak peek of my forthcoming book and updates on a very special bonus if you pre-order this week!
Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
If you catch yourself worrying “Am I a bad person for thinking that?”, or carrying “Wtf is wrong with me!” guilt for the way you feel about something, congratulations: you’re a perfectly normal human. However, this level of concern about the moral value of your thoughts is unnecessary, and a little misguided! In this episode, I’ll read an excerpt from my new book, and talk about the importance of curious self-compassion (instead of self-judgment), and extending love to yourself in those moments. There's a better life waiting right next to you – you just have to believe it’s possible to see it.
Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book
My book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head – and How to Get It Out, is finally available for pre-order and it’s already been reviewed as “a galvanizing and motivating debut” and “genius.” It’s the most cutting-edge, useful, and concrete work I’ve ever produced, and I’m here this week to offer you the deal of the century.
Listen in to learn how you can pre-order my book ahead of everyone else and the free bonuses I’ll be giving out weekly. I’m sharing the big-picture overview of the book, why I truly believe this is the best self-help book ever written, and how you can get a chance to win a private one-to-one coaching session with me.
Pre-order my book here: TakeBackYourBrainBook.com
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/334
Do you ever find yourself fixating on something that you thought you’d already resolved? No matter how long you’ve been practicing thought work, you’ve most likely experienced this in some area of your life. I know I have. So today, I want to share a concept that has really clicked for me in a new way recently and has given me so much relief.
Join me on this episode to hear what ghost thought patterns are and why they continue to haunt you, even after you’ve resolved the underlying thought problem. You’ll learn why our brains are in the habit of misdiagnosing threats to our survival, and a simple tool that will help you redirect your thoughts when your primitive brain engages in old, unhelpful patterning.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/333
What do you do when the success you've worked so hard for finally arrives... but doesn’t feel the way you thought it would? To help us dive into the mental drama around how we believe success SHOULD make us feel (but usually doesn't), I’m joined by marketing genius, Wall Street Journal best-selling author, and keynote speaker, Laura Gassner Otting. Her newest book, Wonderhell, explores why we chase achievement and success in the first place, and where to go from here. She’s on the pod today to share her insights on getting comfortable with discomfort, and the process she went through to redefine what success means to her.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/332
Imagine your partner, friend, parent, or boss says something to you that leaves you feeling angry, hurt, or otherwise extremely negative. Now you’re wondering, are you supposed to coach yourself out of this feeling, or do you say or do something about it? Join me on this episode to learn what to do the next time you find yourself asking the question, “Should I coach myself or should I say or do something?” I’m showing you the hidden assumptions that are driving this question, how this framing of self-coaching relates to our socialization as women, and a new way to approach the question of whether to coach yourself or take action.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/331
Is your partner wanting to move faster or slower than you to meet certain relationship milestones? We’ve been taught to see moving at different speeds than your partner as a huge red flag. However, Dr. Alexandra Solomon - a best-selling author, therapist, speaker, expert in the study of relationships, and my guest this week - believes pace discrepancies allow us to work on essential relational skills. She’s here to uncover the complexities that our relationships demand and share her top tips for opening up communication with your partner on this topic.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/330
You might already know this, but feeling loved doesn’t hinge on someone else loving you. Even if you grasp that external love can’t dictate your feelings, or recognize how societal conditioning shapes women’s views on love and dating, there may be hidden thoughts blocking you from accessing the emotions you crave. Tune in this week as I explore the distinction between loving and being loved, and which feels better. I’m sharing the fundamental socialization that has us assessing our relationships in unhelpful ways, and what happens when you switch your focus from being loved to loving.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/329
This week I’m talking numbing out with fellow life coach (and my platonic life soulmate and bestie) Rachel Hart. Whether you use drinking, eating, shopping, or Netflix binges, numbing is what we do to distract from, or try to get away from, negative emotions. Tune in to find out why it’s important to get to the root of why you’re numbing out, why numbing feels so good, and what many women are using numbing for.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/328
Now that the holiday glow and shininess of a new year has worn off, many of us find ourselves thinking that it’s time to buckle down and get busy — to start checking things off our to-do lists. You may have this idea of how you have to get these things done or that you have to do them a certain way and that might not feel great. But why? Tune in to find out how social programming is making you feel anxious — not just about your to-do list but in all areas of your life — and how you can get that socially-programmed anxiety out of your head in my free training, The Feminist Anxiety Fix.
Text your email to +1 347-997-1784, keyword “anxiety,” or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety to get on the waiting list today.
As we wrap up this three-part series on goals, I’m going to talk about something that we typically don’t do when it comes to goals — analyzing what went wrong. Learn how to handle when life gets in the way of your goals, how to plan for the unexpected, and why analyzing what went wrong is key to your success.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/327
Ever notice how when you “mess up” with your goal, even just a little, it becomes so easy to stay off track? In part two of this three-part series about falling off the wagon with our goals, learn what the biggest cause of goal derailment is, what you can do to get back on track, and how you can learn to diagnose exactly what went wrong with your goal in my Get Back on the Wagon Challenge.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/326
In part one of this three-part series about falling off the wagon with our goals, I discuss why we fall off the wagon, how your current reaction to falling off the wagon is actually based on your misunderstanding of why it happens, and the one very important thing that most people get wrong about goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/325
I am so excited to share this news with you. My work and my business are evolving and it’s time to make some changes. Tune in to learn about the evolution of my business thus far, find out the secret that I’ve been keeping for SO long, see where things are headed for the future, and learn how you can become a founding member of the next phase in this life-changing work.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/324
I’m joined by Damona Hoffman, certified dating coach and author of F the Fairy Tale as we discuss unpacking the myths and socialization we’ve internalized about dating and relationships. Listen in as we talk about how you can use the skills that have made you successful in other areas of your life and apply them to dating, how to experience the joy of dating, and the key to designing the type of relationships you actually want.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/323
Many of us really enjoy the planning stage of New Year’s resolutions — the stage where you’re buying new gym outfits or color-coordinating all of the time you’re setting aside on your calendar to write your book. But are you really planning for success? Or are you just enjoying the fantasy? In this episode, I’m going to teach you the biggest mistake people make in planning a resolution and how to actually plan so you can succeed.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/322
In this bonus episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, former Wall Street trader and author of Rich AF. We discuss the financial socialization and stigma women are faced with including the belief that women aren’t good with money and the idea that having money makes you a “bad” person. Learn what being rich really means (hint: it doesn’t mean having dozens of designer purses and handbags) and learn some practical tips for how you can get started on your financial journey to being Rich AF.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/personal-finance-vivian-tu
Now that you know the importance of resolutions, you may be wondering how you should actually go about choosing one. In this episode, I’ll teach you how to choose a resolution based on a positive motivator: your values. Listen in to find out why setting resolutions using shame as a motivator never works, how to set goals by aligning an area of your life with your chosen values, and how having a positive value-driven motivator for your resolutions can make all the difference.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/321
Resolutions have started to get a bad rap. And it is reasonable to be skeptical about resolutions — they can be self-critical, perfectionist fantasies of disillusionment. But goals are important, necessary even. Listen in as I explain why your brain gets comfortable staying in uncomfortable situations, why the New Year is a good time to set goals, and how goals can help you get to the life you dream of.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/320
Most of us have heard of the seven deadly sins, but don’t really know what they are, where they come from, or how they play into how women are expected to behave in our society. In this episode, I’m joined by Elise Loehnen, author of the New York Times best-seller, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. Tune in as we discuss the seven deadly sins and their origins (including the eighth sin that was eliminated), cultural programming and the effect it has on our lives, what exactly the patriarchy is and how it came to be, and why envy can be a sign of what you truly want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/319
Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help.
To get on the waitlist for the next round, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.
We’re getting to that time of year where we start slowing down to reflect on the previous year and start looking forward to the next one. And this is one of the most important episodes for planning, setting goals, and trying to change your life. In this episode, learn what an impossible goal is and how to set one in a way that serves you, understand how perfectionism warps our thinking and how that warped thinking is contributing to the way we think about goals, and how to differentiate between an impossible goal and a perfectionist fantasy.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/318
“When are you going to have kids?” is a question that many women are asked in their lives, sometimes by complete strangers. It’s just assumed that all women should want to have children. This week, Emmalee Bierly and Jennifer Chaiken, licensed marriage and family therapists and hosts of the ShrinkChicks podcast join me as we dig into the anxiety around having, or not having, children (whether by choice or not). Tune in to find out why you shouldn’t base your decision to have kids or not on not wanting to feel regret, how to navigate relationships with people who don’t have the same lifestyle choices as you, and tuning out the socialization we’ve absorbed around having children.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/317
To be able to create the outcomes that we want in our lives, sometimes we have to tone down the drama in our brains. But we often don’t have much perspective on whether or not we’re being dramatic, because as women and people socialized as women, we’re taught that simply having feelings is dramatic. Join me this week as I explain what I mean by “being dramatic,” how the facts of a situation may not be as dramatic as you make them out to be, why I think being dramatic can be harmful, and the beauty of learning that your thoughts cause your feelings, actions, and outcomes in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/316
Join me this week for a special bonus episode with hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat podcast, Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine! Tune in as we discuss the intricacies of sex, dating, and relationships, breaking free from societal norms, celebrating the unfiltered truth about women's lives, and even their premium sex toy business.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/girls-gotta-eat
Rae McDaniel, gender and sex therapist and author of Gender Magic, joins me on the podcast this week to talk about the role of gender in a world where we all desire to walk around as our most authentic selves. Even if we don’t have questions about our gender identity, we may question how we’ve been socialized in our genders or how to support others who have questions about their identity. Listen in as we discuss how a positive vision for your future can make it easier to handle challenges you encounter on your journey, gender freedom and what it means, and how exploring what you like is integral to knowing who you are.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/315
Thought work is not frivolous. It’s absolutely necessary, powerful work. The deepest power of thought work is helping us stay centered and grounded when challenging things are happening. Listen to learn the difference between clean and dirty pain, how to not be paralyzed in challenging situations, and how you can reduce and release suffering.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/314
Working hard has gotten a bad rep lately. When you’re creating something you’re passionate about, it’s unrealistic to think that it won’t be hard work. But there’s a difference between running yourself ragged because you’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or you think that’s the only way you’ll be successful, and working really hard on something you’re trying to bring into fruition. I’m joined by Oat Haus founder and CEO, Ali Bonar, as we discuss what entrepreneurship really looks like, why the journey and not just the destination has to be worthwhile, why “working too hard” is just another thing for women to police themselves about, and why no matter what your career is it’s ok to work hard.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/313
Dr. Adrienne Mann and Dr. Tyra Fainstad conducted a study of over 1,000 women resident and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program, while the other half didn’t receive any coaching. The results were astounding — their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). They join me on the podcast this week as we discuss their study, learn why residents were the ideal group to do this research on, define moral injury as it relates to our careers, and learn why group coaching might be right for you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/312
Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help.
To get on the waitlist, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.
We assume that clutter is inherently bad or a problem. And for many, lack of organization and clutter leads to anxiety, overwhelm, and stress. On top of that, we're absorbing socialization around the expectation to keep a perfectly tidy and organized home. Join me and values-based organizing expert, author, and coach Shira Gill as we discuss the perfectionist fantasy of organization, the mental or emotional blocks that may come up when you’re trying to get organized, how your disorganization may be caused by your thoughts, and how you can coach yourself into a more organized life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/311
No matter how long you’ve been coaching yourself, it’s normal to have blocks and challenges come up. If you’ve been self-coaching and just not seeing the results you want, there are a few specific reasons that may be holding you back. Tune in as I share with you the six primary blocks to self-coaching and find out why we really have to see circumstances as neutral, why we need to dig deep in our thought work practice, what role shame plays in thought work, and why insight alone isn’t going to change your brain.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/310
Discover the power of coaching and therapy through a feminist lens on this week's podcast episode. Tune in as we explore how understanding the impact of socialization on women's brains can transform coaching and therapy and hear from Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching alumni Jen Fadden, Osaru Anyumba, Nicolassa Galvez, and Rachelle Siebke, as they talk about how ACFC has empowered them in their work and solidified their self-identity, the need to question established norms, how feminist coaching is also beneficial for men, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/309
We all feel fear in our lives for all sorts of different reasons. Some fear can be useful and some fear can be unproductive. Regardless of whether your fear is useful or unproductive, it’s important to listen to it, not to give into it but to better understand its source. Tune in this week to my conversation with author, personal finance expert and host of the So Money podcast, Farnoosh Torabi, as we discuss the role fear plays as a natural instinct, how you can differentiate between useful and unproductive fear, what role fear plays in financial anxiety, the impact of fear on ambition, embracing a balanced perspective, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/308
As a historically patriarchal institution, marriages of the past benefited the man far more than the woman. A man and woman became one legal entity, but the woman was essentially absorbed by her husband — she couldn’t hold a profession or make legal decisions for herself. She existed for procreation and unpaid labor. So what happens when despite knowing all of the statistics and all of the history, you think you still might want to get married? In part 2 of this series about my engagement, I focus on the decision to get married as it relates to socialization, why we can’t completely desocialize our brains, and why sometimes you just have to live with ambiguity and ambivalence.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/307
Most coaching certification and therapy programs don’t teach how to look at socialization and the way it impacts women’s brains and the way they think about themselves in the world. So I’ve created a brand new, free private podcast called How to Coach Like a Feminist: Adding A Feminist Lens to Coaching or Cognitive-Based Therapy.
In this limited series starting September 18, you’ll learn about marketing and selling, the client/coach relationship, how to set your client goals, the feminist coaching lens, and more. If you want to learn how adding a feminist lens to your work can completely change your coaching, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and enter the keyword COACH when prompted or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/coach.
We're socialized to believe that the way other people act is about us. Women are socialized to want big romantic gestures from men, which they then equate to how much the man loves them, which equates to how valuable they are as a woman. Newsflash: Other people’s behavior is not actually about you.
Tune in this week to find out why our expectations of how we want other people to behave (in all sorts of contexts) are influenced by our behavior, how engagements and the expectations that go along with them are a microcosm of where we’re at in society today, and why elaborate engagements make less sense in today’s society than they did in the past.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/306
This week I’m joined by Executive Coach and Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching grad Jamie Lee as we discuss how to ask for and advocate for what you want in your professional life (and all parts of your life). Tune in to learn about the “outside the performance review network” that’s important to getting ahead, the 3-step framework for advocating for whatever it is you want in your professional life, and how to interrupt the unintentional thought patterns that are holding you back.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/305
The things you do and the choices you make —the direction in which your “life GPS” is set — determine the outcomes in your life. So if there’s an area in your life where you aren’t happy with the outcomes you’ve been getting or you feel bad about them, you may need to check what your GPS is set to. Tune in to this week’s podcast to learn how to make sure your GPS is set to a destination that you can actually reach, why your destination doesn’t have to be a concrete goal, and what you’ll need to do to reach your destination.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/304
Nearly all of us will experience a breakup at some point in our lives (if we haven’t already). No matter how or why the relationship ends, it’s what we choose to do once that relationship is over, that really matters. This week on the podcast, fellow coach Ali Ryan is joining me to talk about using thought work to navigate breakups, divorce, and separation. We’ll discuss how breakups can be a tool for transformation, why the relationship with yourself may be the most important when you’re going through a breakup, and what you gain from being willing to have a happy ending, even though the relationship is over.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/303
Vacations. Most of us can’t wait to get away and just chill out. You might imagine yourself in a gorgeous location, eating delicious food, seeing beautiful sights, lounging by the pool or at the beach, feeling rested and happy. Or maybe you find yourself dreading it because you’re already counting the things that are sure to go wrong. So, how can you prepare for the disappointment that may come with a perfectionist fantasy like scenario one? And how can you avoid letting difficult or frustrating circumstances, like scenario two, ruin your entire trip? Tune in this week to find out how you can enjoy your vacation no matter what happens.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/302
Every one of us has received social messages not only about how we should spend our time, but also what kind of morality is attached to how we spend it. Women have an added layer of time socialization on top of this, because we’re socialized to believe that we exist for the purpose of doing things for others. It’s no wonder many women in today’s world feel like they never have enough time.
This week I’m having a conversation about women and time with the host of the Feminist Time, Productivity, & Rest podcast, Vikki Louise. We discuss why waking up one hour early isn’t going to solve your time problems, how the existing time structure was not created with women in mind, and how your thoughts can be the biggest time suck.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/301
There’s too much goodness inside the Clutch to contain it to just one episode, so here comes Part Two! Here’s your chance to get a look inside my feminist monthly coaching program. In Part Two of this episode, I’ll share about the power of coaching – especially one-on-one coaching – and you’ll find out why it’s ok to need support, how you can regulate your nervous system when your anxiety is high, and how you can join the amazing Clutch community.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/300.5
Whether you’re a new listener and unsure what the Clutch even is or you’re a long-time listener who’s always been curious about the Clutch, here’s your chance to get a look inside my feminist monthly coaching program. In Part One of this episode, I’ll share what led me to become a life coach, the Clutch Community Manager will tell you about all the goodness inside the member’s only Clutch site, and our Clutch Coaches will break down some of their favorite resources that are included in the Clutch.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/300
This week I’m joined by EbonyJanice, author of All the Black Girls are Activists. Tune in as we discuss how to reclaim authority over your own life, how doing the work to show up as your true self is a political act, why wellness culture and the idea of a “soft life” can be misleading, why your inner guard dog may sound different than you think, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/299
As women and people socialized as women, we’re often making decisions from an emotional place, deciding what to do based on whether doing it or not is going to make us feel worse, aka ashamed or guilty — two emotional states that we’ve been taught to avoid. Tune in to find out why guilt and shame are not moral truths of the universe (and what they actually are), and how deciding what to think and feel on purpose will help you lead a life that’s aligned with your values.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/298
Oftentimes the thoughts we think aren’t what’s most important; it’s our reaction to them that really matters. This week I’ll discuss why the way you react to your thoughts can be more important than the thoughts themselves, how your reaction may make your emotional experience worse, and how cognitive dissonance between your new thoughts and your old thoughts can actually work in your favor.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/297
Many of us feel stuck when we experience the discomfort of anxiety. But ironically, it’s not the anxiety itself that keeps us stuck, it’s what we do when we’re anxious that keeps us in the cycle of anxiety and inaction — aka psychological avoidance. This week on the podcast we’re digging deep into the brain with Dr. Luana Marques, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of Bold Move. We’ll discuss the three skills you can use to move through psychological avoidance, why aligning with our values can be difficult for women because of the way we were socialized, and how to know if you’re thinking clearly or if your brain has been hijacked by your amygdala.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/296
The way you think about how you were raised, especially if there were certain things you didn’t like about your caregivers’ behavior, can have a big impact on you in adulthood — whether you’re a parent or not. This week on the podcast I discuss the unintended consequences of basing your self-worth as a parent on being different than your parents were, how demonizing characteristics of your caregivers inevitably leads you to demonizing parts of yourself, and what the underlying solution is to these problems.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/295
Things are going to get a little hot and steamy this week as I talk sex with Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast. We discuss why many women are not having the pleasurable fulfilling sex lives they want to. Listen in to find out what a sex IQ is, why sex should be part of your overall wellness plan, and how getting to know yourself can lead to better sex.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/294
Tune in to this episode as I answer some questions about boundaries, breakups, and relationships. You’ll find out how you might be thinking about boundaries the wrong way, why enjoying your own company has nothing to do with wanting to be in a relationship, and why you can’t rush through the emotional process after a breakup.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/293
Now that we know how and why we criticize others (and ourselves), what can we do to stop being so critical (if we decide we want to)? In this podcast episode, I’ll teach you some thoughts you can use to work through being critical, how to check in with your motivation behind your critique, how to redirect your thoughts about a specific person or thing, and general techniques you can use to stop being so critical.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/292
Being critical of other people is something that many of us do so often that we may not even realize we’re doing it. And not only do we criticize others, we often (maybe even constantly) criticize ourselves. But why do we do it? Tune in to find out what criticism is and understand why we do it, the good reasons why your brain may default to being critical, and how criticism has more to do with you than the other person.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/291
Adults are being diagnosed with ADHD more and more these days. And receiving the diagnosis alone is helping many folks make sense of certain behaviors they have that have always been a bit quirky. But for some, a diagnosis of ADHD can also bring up feelings that are difficult to navigate.
This week I’m joined by life coach and host of the I Have ADHD podcast, Kristen Carder, for a conversation about thought work and neurodivergent brains. We discuss why ebbing and flowing may be better than consistency, why lack of motivation is not a problem, and how to support yourself or any neurodivergent person in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/290
There is a difference in how I feel about loving my partner and how he feels about loving me. And recently, while trying to work on creating more feelings of bliss for myself in our relationship, I realized that my socialization as a woman was affecting the way that I approached loving my partner. And this socialization doesn’t just affect romantic relationships, it can affect your platonic relationships as well. Tune in to find out the difference between loving someone else and being loved, which feels better, and how you can create more feelings of bliss in all your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/289
We’ve all experienced loss and grief at some point in our lives. And while we may hear that there’s a set number of steps to go through or a timeline to follow, grief doesn’t really ever end. But, you do get to decide who you want to be after the loss. I’m joined by Krista St-Germain, Master Certified Coach and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast, this week on the podcast as we discuss how the socialization of women in our society affects the way that we grieve, what post-traumatic growth is (and how not to use it against yourself), and how you can get over the grief plateau and learn to be truly happy again.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/288
As humans, logic and reason reassure us that something could or could not work — they help us make sense of what we perceive as possible. But logic and reason can only take us so far. They alone will never be able to convince us to do something we’ve never done before. Where logic and reason run out, that’s the point where we have to decide to take a leap of faith (or not).
Tune in to this week’s episode to find out why a leap of faith may be the missing piece for you to create meaningful change in your life, the role tolerating risk plays in making changes, and why feeling anxious about making a change doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad idea.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/287
Today is my birthday! It’s a day I love for all the obvious reasons, but it’s also a time when I love to reflect and take stock of my life and how it’s changed over the past year – and there has certainly been a lot of change in the last year! It didn’t happen all at once. But little bits of change over time have added up to massive shifts. And that’s the process I teach you in the Clutch, my monthly feminist coaching program. We only open a few times a year and we’re open now through Tuesday, May 2nd. Text your email address to +1.347.934.8861 (no code word needed) or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/clutch to join today.
Is there an alternate version of your life that you fantasized about having, that you didn’t get to experience? When we don’t let ourselves grieve or acknowledge those fantasies that we left behind, it can sometimes cause us to get stuck or be unable to make decisions and move forward in our lives. Tune in to this week’s episode to find out what I mean by grieving a life you won’t live, how to do it, and why feeling regret doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/286
We might call massages, face masks, and shopping sprees self-care, but often they’re really just illusions of self-care. It looks like we’re doing these things to take care of ourselves but we never really address the core issue of what’s causing the stress. True self-care gets to the root of the problem and tackles it head on. And when you truly start taking care of yourself, that’s when you start seeing big changes in your life. This week I’m joined by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. We discuss what real self-care is, how to be proactive instead of reactive with your self-care, and how true self-care is a revolutionary movement.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/285
Some of us are second-guessing ourselves all the time and don’t even realize it — especially women, because we’re actually taught to think this way. We’re taught that we don’t have the authority to make the right decisions — that we don’t know what’s best, not even for ourselves. If you struggle to make a decision, tune in to find out the 3 different types of second-guessing, what happens when we do it, and why it’s such a problem.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/284
Perfectionism is everywhere, it’s sneaky. And this week I want to talk about a little thing I like to call wellness perfectionism. No matter what tips, tools, and tricks we know for regulating our minds (and nervous systems) there’s no way for us to avoid having the human experience. This week I discuss what wellness perfectionism is, how you can see it showing up in your life, and how not to use wellness against yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/283
Money can bring up a lot of tricky feelings - especially for women. But no matter where you are in your money story, here’s the good news: you can rewrite it if you choose. Join me, and money speaker and educator Tori Dunlap, in this episode as we explore our money mindsets and the social conditioning that comes along with them. We talk financial feminism, learning to navigate living in a capitalist society while doing the least harm, and common misconceptions about investing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/282
This week I tackle listener questions including whether or not everything that happens to you is your fault because of your thoughts, how to coach yourself through anger, the right questions to ask yourself when self-coaching and more (including my thoughts about pineapple on pizza).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/281
When you have goals and aspirations it’s normal to look for someone that can help you reach them. Having a mentor to help guide you can be a great thing. But sometimes as mentees, we put our mentors up on a pedestal. And when we believe our mentors —and not ourselves — have the answer to our success, we strip ourselves of our own authority and power. The same thing goes for coaches.
Tune in to learn how to take the hierarchy out of your mentor and coaching relationships and how the most important mentorship relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/280
What if there were one question you could ask yourself that immediately put you in touch with your highest priorities, your deepest values, and how you want to live in the world? In this episode, you will learn the question I ask myself to instantly gain perspective and clarity on what matters most to me. Tune in to learn how this question can change your life, too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/279
Whether we’re at the top of a corporation, running our own business, or working as an employee, we’ll often find a million different ways to outsource our leadership to others. But if we can do the hard work of learning to trust ourselves as the ultimate authority over our own lives, that’s where the magic happens.
This week I’m joined by online business legend, Amy Porterfield. Tune is as we dismantle some of the myths about starting your own business and discuss developing a CEO mindset, how socialization affects female entrepreneurs in particular, and the biggest mistake Amy made in her first year of business (so you can avoid it too - whether you have a business or not).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/278
I am Jewish, but I don’t consider myself to be particularly religious or spiritual. I know that may seem strange or like there’s a disconnect there, but Judaism is more than just a religion. So it doesn’t fit into the westernized ideal of what a religion is or should look like. This week on the podcast I share three ways Judaism has shaped my work in the world and I take a look at how the things that you learn as part of being in a religious community or any other kind of community impact how you think about the world.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/277
Emotional growth doesn’t always feel great. But it doesn’t have to feel terrible, either. You get to choose whether or not you put the time and energy into changing a certain aspect of your life. The key is being able to recognize the difference between giving up on something because you think it’s too hard, and choosing to pursue something else that is more interesting and important to you. This week we’ll revisit a very important topic: How to know when emotional difficulty is worth it. I’ll teach you why the hardest things are not always the most worthwhile.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/276
I truly believe self-love is the antidote to a lot of our self-created mental and emotional suffering — life sucks when you’re going through it hating yourself — but self-love is also often misunderstood. Tune in this week as I break down three common myths about self love. I’ll talk about why self-love is not selfish (and what it really is), how self-love will not get rid of all of your negative thoughts about yourself, and why self-love is a journey, not a destination.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/275
No matter how much love you do or do not feel on February 14, Valentine’s Day is just a made up ‘holiday.’ Yet we’ve been socialized to believe that a woman’s worth is dependent on having a certain type of romantic relationship. This week on the podcast I’m going to break down some common misconceptions about love. Join me as I discuss why love is not a state of being you simply arrive at, the real reason why you do (or don’t) feel loved, and why we think that love is an obligation.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/274
The workplace can be challenging for a lot of people, but women and those socialized as women face a further set of challenges. This week on the podcast I’m joined by Jenn Deal, Annie Framand, and Jamie Lee (three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students) to discuss what ambition is and why women have trouble identifying with it, how to advocate for yourself in the workplace, and the right way to negotiate.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/273
This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Deb Malkin, Jill Angie, and Sarah Shiozawa as we discuss exercise — its risks, rewards, and morality. Tune is as we offer our definitions of exercise, unpack the “why” behind our exercising, and discuss the power of choosing for yourself what you do with your body.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/272
I hear from clients all the time how hard it is to build new friendships in adulthood. But is that actually true? Or are we making that be true by holding onto outdated beliefs about friendship? If you desire more friendships in your life, you won’t want to miss my discussion with Dr. Marisa G. Franco. Tune into this week’s episode as Dr. Franco and I discuss how outdated ideas about friendship can make it harder to form new ones in adulthood, how looking to friends to make you feel good about yourself can be a recipe for disaster, and the role that romance plays in friendships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/271
I like to call this the most delusional time of the year because many of us use this time to make goals and resolutions for the coming year that are completely unrealistic for the people we are right now. No wonder many resolutions go unfulfilled; our goals are out of touch with reality. Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to learn one simple concept that will change your habit-making life, how this concept can keep your goal alive even when all hell breaks loose, and how you can tell whether or not your goal is really just a fantasy you’re chasing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/270
I love the way I dress, but lately I feel like there’s been some disconnect in my style. I’ve changed, and so has my business, and I want my style to evolve as well. But I found myself not really knowing how to get my outward style to match my inward expression and where I’m at currently in my life.
Tune in as one of my friends and style coach, Judith Gaton, helps me hone my style and we discuss how to mesh different aspects of your personality into your style, how you can use your thoughts and your style to create the person you want to be, and how it’s never really about the clothes — it’s your thoughts about yourself in them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/269
This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Sade Curry, Candice Toone, and Karen C.L. Anderson as we break down how patriarchal conditioning affects the way our mothers parent us. Tune is as we discuss mothers and mothering, how socialization impacts what we expect from mothers, and what work you can do (even on your own) to repair a mother or parental relationship in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/268
Why is it so hard for us to believe that we’re the authority? It’s because as women, we were socialized to think that way (shocking, right?) — to feel like we’re not quite adults and we’re just faking it till we make it. In this special podcast episode, you’ll hear an interview I did with Sarah Nicole on The Papaya Podcast. We’ll discuss how our socialization affects why we don’t see ourselves as adults, how women are taught to believe that our value fluctuates, and the conflict and tension inherent in being a working mom.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/267
How do you treat yourself when you don’t get the result you want? Or when you’re wrong about something? Or when you act in a way that you don’t like? Do you have your own back in these situations or do you make it mean there’s something wrong with you as a person?
Listen in as I discuss the difference between doing wrong and being wrong, how thinking you’re wrong can actually make you less likely to fix what went wrong in the first place, and how shame from being wrong keeps you from going after what you want in life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/266
We often think romantic relationships have a natural progression, right? You meet the perfect partner, you start dating, and as things get serious you start talking about your future together — which usually involves moving in together, marriage, and maybe even kids. But the truth is, you and your partner always get to decide what your relationship looks like - even if it’s different from society’s expectations. This week on the podcast, in the conclusion of a 2-part series, the Gentleman Consort and I discuss getting to decide what our relationship looks like, how we’ve grown since we began dating, and what we love most about each other.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/265
This week, my partner, the Gentleman Consort (GC for short), is making his podcast debut and you’re going to get a behind-the-scenes peek at our relationship! In part 1 of this 2-part series, we cover the gamut from first impressions and first dates, to the GC’s introduction to thought work, to feeling disappointment in a relationship, to how perfectionism and communication affect your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/264
Just a few weeks ago we closed out our last Clutch College Live for a while. Over the course of the 3-day, live, in-person and virtual event, minds were blown and breakthroughs were made. A lot of what I coached on had to do with goals — and I want to share some of the amazing takeaways that came out of that weekend.
Tune in to find out the real reason you don’t set goals, what we’re actually afraid of when we’re agonizing over a decision, how to be prepared for the inevitability of your brain offering you an old thought that will not help you reach your goal, and how life is always 50/50, no matter what.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/263
Giving yourself permission to want the things you want *and* to go out and get them is one of the most powerful decisions you can make in your life – and it’s also one of the hardest. This week I continue my conversation with my friend and mentor Brooke Castillo where we dive into the feeling of worthiness, why it’s ok to want more than what you have, and how tapping into what you really want helps you show up most powerfully in the world.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/262
What does it mean to have authority over your own life? When it comes down to it, having authority looks like having your own back, no matter what happens. This week I’m talking with my mentor, friend, and the person who trained me to be a coach and showed me how to have my own back no matter what, Brooke Castillo. Tune in as we discuss how we define authority, what the ultimate claiming of authority is, and how you can take the first steps toward claiming more authority in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/261
In this bonus episode, I’m giving you a little taste of a brand new collaboration I’ve been working on. I recorded five brand new podcast episodes for Radio Headspace, and I’m releasing the first episode today on the podcast. Tune in to this collaboration with wellness app Headspace as I dive into neuroplasticity, one question you can ask yourself to begin shaking things up inside your brain, the pitfalls of perfectionist thinking, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/bonus-headspace
Women are taught that someone else always knows better than we do. Even in areas where women are stereotypically presumed the authority, like running the household, we’re still constantly told that we don’t know what we’re doing! (Think all of the messaging about how we should parent our children or how we’re doing meal prep all wrong.) Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to find out how this socialization plays out in our lives, what is the most important thought work you can do, and how you can start taking back your authority.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/260
“Maybe this is dumb, but… ,” “I know I shouldn’t feel this way… ,” “Does that make sense?”
These may seem like simple, innocuous words, but they’re just an outward example of the many ways that women and people socialized as women don’t trust their own authority. It’s no wonder that as women we struggle with people pleasing, seeking validation, and not being able to tune into what we really want - we’re literally socialized to do these things.
Find out more here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/the-society
**This is an updated audio from 7/4/24**
On this week’s episode of the podcast, I’m going to share what thought work really is, teach you how thought work is more than just working on your thoughts and show you how it encompasses your emotions, values, social conditioning, and more.
Tune in to find out why your body is actually a key part of thought work, learn one crucial aspect of my teaching, and hear why I think there’s no problem that thought work doesn’t help.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/259
This week on the podcast I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Elizabeth Sherman, Jill Angie, and Karen C.L. Anderson, as we begin to unravel how socialization affects the way women feel in their midlife years.
Tune in as we talk about why midlife is a great time to re-evaluate the relationship you have with yourself and the boundaries you hold with the people in your life, how to not allow your stage in life define your identity, and a better, more empowering alternative to the anti-aging tools society tells midlife women are a necessity.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/258
This week on the podcast I’m joined by one of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Lindsay Poelman, and her husband, Danny, as we discuss what it’s like for men to recognize their own patriarchal socialization.
Tune in as we talk about how patriarchal conditioning is not a zero sum game, how patriarchy can be oppressive to people of all gender identities (not just women), and why the feeling of disempowerment in privileged white men can actually lead to positive change.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/257
Something incredible happens when you introduce intersectional feminism into your coaching - you move from coach to change-maker. And my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching student Stephanie illustrates the transformation brilliantly in her ACFC reflection.
Tune in to this special bonus episode to hear how Stephanie’s life and business have transformed as a result of this work.
Join the Feminist Coaching Interest list here: unfuckyourbrain.com/acfc
Have you ever wondered when you should manage your mind versus when you should take action? Would you like to know the single question that will get you 90% of where you need to go in a coaching session? Are you curious about what my best piece of business advice is for new business owners?
Tune in to this week’s episode as I answer these and more questions from coaches about business and coaching. You’ll find out why there’s no such thing as knowing your niche, how you can get your clients to take a different perspective, and how to know when to switch from offering 1:1 to group coaching.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/256
In this bonus episode, I dive deep into the perfectionist brain with my friend and coaching colleague, Dr. Katrina Ubell. Tune in to my conversation with Katrina to learn why not all coaching tools work for all brains, how perfectionist thinking can hold us back from reaching (or even setting) our goals and how it keeps us stuck in a cycle of allowing anyone but ourselves to be the authority over our own lives.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/bonus-katrina-ubell
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our bodies simply don’t work the way we want them to. Maybe it’s an occasional occurrence for you or maybe it’s something you live with every day. We take on all sorts of messages about what health is (and what it’s not), how we get healthy, and how we stay healthy. But is all of the social messaging we absorb really helping us measure health? Or is it something that has been designed and packaged to tell us how to measure our own morality and worth?
Tune into my conversation with two of my students, Deb Malkin and Michelle Kapler, to learn why health is so challenging for so many of us, how we try to control our health, and how (as usual) trying to control something we can’t control, can make everything feel worse.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/255
Self-confidence goes by many names - self-love, self-esteem, self-regard. But no matter what you call it, it’s important to dig deep and examine whether yours is conditional or unconditional. When you’re constantly looking to outside factors to feel good about yourself, that’s conditional self-confidence. Conditional self-confidence has a big impact on our relationship with ourselves, but what are the larger implications?
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn the impact conditional self-confidence has on the way we seek out security, how it can create unhealthy patterns in our relationships with others, and how you can start cultivating unconditional self-confidence.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/254
Being a first-generation immigrant and experiencing dual socialization (of any kind) profoundly shapes how you experience the world. And that’s exactly what I talk about on the podcast this week with two of the coaches from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching, Ana Lopez and Cris Berlingeri.
Tune in to learn how dual socialization can help you clearly see how our thoughts are subjective, why it’s important to define cultural traditions vs. non-cultural traditions, and about the power of thought work to help you create the kind of life you want to live.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/253
I get a lot of questions from people who are new to thought work that have to do with gaslighting themselves. It’s a totally normal concern and one that I’ve talked about many times on the podcast. But here’s why it’s so interesting. It comes from the assumption that your original unconscious thoughts are better or carry more importance simply because it is your original subconscious thought. Why are we giving more importance to the first thing our brains spit out than the thoughts we intentionally cultivate ourselves?
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why our original thoughts aren’t necessarily our most helpful thoughts and how the most real or ‘you’ thoughts can be the ones you choose intentionally.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/252
Do you worry about the future? Do you stress and plan for a hundred different “worst case” scenarios in the hopes that doing so will make you more “prepared” for what’s to come? Humans evolved to fear uncertainty above all else, which kept us safe from starving to death or being eaten by a predator…but now, it’s a recipe for crippling anxiety.
Tune in to today’s episode to learn how to solve your uncertainty problem so you can transform your fear into peace and acceptance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/251
Most coaching training teaches that all coaching tools apply to everyone the same. That coaching is black and white. But when you’re aware of different lived experiences, different identities and systems of oppression in the world? And you understand how to navigate those with your clients in ways that help them feel empowered? That’s coaching in technicolor.
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn more about my intersectional approach to coaching, why I think intersectionality in coaching is so important, and how you can learn my framework to bring this work into your own coaching practice.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/250
For most people who dip their toes into the world of thought work for the first time, there are usually some questions that come up around subjectivity and reality. “If all thoughts are made up in our brains - is anything really true? How do I know if something is true?” But the truth is, our brains are making things up all the time. We’re actually hallucinating all the time (and no, you haven’t been unwittingly dosed with mushrooms!).
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn about the way our brains create our realities, why accepting something as reality first can make it more difficult to change your thoughts about it later, and why you should decide what to believe on purpose.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/249
Twice a week I lift weights with a trainer. This way of moving, yes, strengthens my body, but it has also done wonders for strengthening my brain. So what is the connection between mind and body? And how do we unravel the internalized messages we receive about our bodies to find where true confidence really comes from?
In this special release podcast episode, you will listen to an interview that I did on the Thick Thighs Save Lives podcast to learn practical tips on how to grow authentic confidence (no actual weightlifting required!).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/248
A lot of people want to become entrepreneurs to enjoy the freedom that comes with being able to call your own shots. But at the first hint of any of entrepreneurship’s hallmark instability, they usually take it to mean they’re doing it wrong. This inherent brain error of only fantasizing about the positive and rejecting the negative is one I see play out time and time again in all facets of life.
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn about the inherent brain error and how it can hold you back, and the incredible difference it can make when you accept the full experience of whatever you choose.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/247
Join me this week as I show you the power that lies in practicing radical self-love and exquisite self-care, why it is a radical subversive act, and how liberation from an oppressive ideology is an inside job. Radical self-love is where change has to start, and it’s a tool that will give you the emotional resources and mental freedom to transform your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/246
At first glance it may seem like it’s a ‘bad’ or ‘unhelpful’ thought that’s holding you back from finding your perfect partner, landing your dream job, reaching the next revenue goal in your business, or having the kind of friendships you’ve always wanted. But upon further inspection, you may find that this thought is actually doing important, protective work in the background - especially if it’s one that you’ve tried time and time again to shift with no success.
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn how changing your thoughts about your thoughts can be just as transformative as changing the thoughts themselves, what rejecting yourself ahead of time may be protecting you from, and the importance of looking at both sides of a belief.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/245
The mindset women have around money has been affected in no small part by how we have been socialized. At my Feminist Business Mastermind a few weeks ago, I shared three main money mindset lessons that all women - whether you own a business or not - should hear.
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why understanding the nuanced difference between asking and offering is so important, why women have been socialized to believe they’re bad with money, and the importance of making sure you’ve carefully chosen your thoughts before you make an offer.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/244
Some of you know that I was a reproductive rights activist, advocate, litigator, and academic before I became a coach. So I am sadly not surprised by this decision as the writing has long been on the wall. But here's what I have to say as a coach:
The Supreme Court has overturned Roe v. Wade.
How do we meet this kind of challenge, from a coaching/thought work perspective?
Today is a day of mourning for anyone who cares about human autonomy and freedom. This ruling is a violation of the rights of anyone who can get pregnant, and in keeping with a long history of patriarchal control over women/childbearing bodies. As usual, the burden will be worse for people of color, disabled people, poor people, and anyone else living in a marginalized identity or a retrogressive state.
Thought work is not about finding a “silver lining” in human rights violations. It is not about seeing oppression as “perfect” because it exists.
It is about equipping ourselves to return to the fight.
It is about increasing our own resilience, to show up for what we believe, even when we seem to be losing.
It is about reclaiming our own ability to make meaning of our struggles and our lives, no matter what circumstances we live in.
It is about power in the one place that no one else can control: The inside of our own minds.
This work is about liberating ourselves from the inside out, so that we can continue to work to liberate the world.
So allow those emotions today. Anger, sadness, fear. Cry, grieve, scream, howl.
And when you’re ready, manage your mind. Choose what you want to believe – about this decision, about this world, about yourself, about your capacity to hold your experience, to find joy, to create change, to help others.
Many terrible Supreme Court decisions have been overturned in time. It is worth continuing the fight.
If we give up in our own minds, we are giving up on the world. That's how the patriarchy wins. Don’t give up.
P.S. If you want more guidance: I recommend Episode 31, What About Sexism, and Episode 70, Clean v. Dirty Pain.
P.P.S. The quickest thing you can do to help equalize abortion access in a post-Roe world is to donate to local and state abortion funds that will pay for women to travel to states where abortion is still available. You can google to find one close to home or you can donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds?refcode=nnafwebsite Here is another list: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/abortion-funds-to-donate-to-how-to-help-1351451/
While it would be nice if we could sit back and wait for our incredible intelligence and value to be recognized and rewarded, that unfortunately isn’t the way things work, especially for people socialized as women.
My guest on the podcast this week, founder and CEO of Squad Isa Watson, has masterfully navigated the white male landscapes of science, tech, and now startup, as a Woman of Color, and has used managing her mind to succeed in each of them.
Tune in to learn how creating opportunities for yourself and discomfort go hand in hand, why learning to be your own hype person is so important, how managing your mind can help when going through proper institutional channels (like HR) fails, and the difference between mentorship and sponsorship (and why you should intentionally cultivate the latter).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/243
Have you ever wondered if we (or the entire human race) would enter into total anarchy and violence in the absence of self-judgment, worry over other people’s feelings, or agreement on ethics or morality? More importantly, have you ever wondered *why* you think that would be the case? It all boils down to whether or not you think humans are inherently good or inherently bad - to what you believe the nature of humans is.
Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why it’s so critical to examine and intentionally choose your beliefs about human nature, how women’s socialization adds an additional complicated layer to the way we view human nature, and the role our beliefs about human nature play into how we motivate ourselves.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/242
Annual mile markers, like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays prompt us to reflect on the past year. The act of reflection helps us to cultivate appreciation and enjoyment from our past experiences, but doing it in thoughtful ways is actually a really effective way we can work to create our future intentionally.
I recently celebrated my 41st birthday, a milestone in my business, and my anniversary with my partner, and took time to do my own little ritual of reflection by answering just four simple questions. Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn what the four questions are and how the answers can help you create a future so good, you can’t even imagine it right now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/241
People socialized as women are particularly susceptible to suffering from the burnout our entire country seems to be dealing with. That’s because they’re taught from an extremely young age that they have to take care of everyone else before they take care of themselves.
This week I’m joined by two of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Ali Ryan and Marissa McKool, as we look closely at how we define burnout and uncover the roles patriarchy and productivity play in it.
Tune in to learn how you can begin to heal your burnout by figuring out what your unconscious commitments are and by identifying thought patterns about your to-do list at home, and how changing your thoughts around rest (while it may feel terrible at first) can help you prevent future burnout.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/240
It would be nice to think we can leave capitalism at the office when we go home for the day. But the truth is, its reach goes far beyond just the way we make, sell, and buy stuff. It can affect the ways we place value on the actual human beings who do the work, which in turn can lead to burnout, hustle culture, and even ableism.
In this episode I’m joined by two of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching Students, Tina Koch and Rachèle Summers, as we discuss the tricky triad of internalized ableism, productivity culture, and capitalism.
Listen in to learn how you can begin changing productivity-related tendencies by examining the ‘shoulds’ in your life, how the first step in changing your internalized ableism is to approach your thoughts around it with compassion, and how you can begin pushing back on hustle culture and build emotional resilience by learning to sit with cognitive dissonance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/239
There’s been a lot of talk about the invisible load the last few years (especially through Covid when women were literally trying to do it all). Pushing back against the invisible load can look like “dropping the ball.” But “dropping the ball” isn’t always safe for those socialized as women who also belong to other marginalized identities.
Listen to this interview with two of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy and Shawna Saumel, to learn how the invisible load is connected to your emotional and physical energy, the importance of negotiation in a relationship, and how living in other marginalized identities can exacerbate a woman’s drive to achieve and do more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/238
It’s natural to want to stay in our comfort zones, to hang out or work with people who think like we do, to feel like we belong. But if you feel called to be a change maker in this world, you may find that you’ll have your greatest impact by stepping out of your insular world and into one where people don’t believe the same things you do. You may also find that fear of rejection will kick in full force when you think about striking out on your own.
Listen to this podcast episode to learn the truth about seeking out belonging, how belonging can keep us stuck, and how to navigate the tension between belonging and making change.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/237
Our brains think they can predict the future. They’ll take one instance, generalize it into a pattern, and try to convince us that one of our fleeting thoughts or a fleeting thought that others have about us is a constant state (and rarely is it a pleasant one!).
So, if your brain is hung up on what other people are thinking about you, what can you do to get some relief? Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn the very thought I recently coached one of my colleagues on that can help you give less of a sh*t about what other people are thinking about you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/236
Marriage and money. Opinions on these two topics certainly run the gamut. But whether you’re currently married, planning to get married, or marriage is the furthest thing from your mind, women’s relationship to money can be a tricky thing to unpack. And there’s good reason for this: the patriarchy has had its hands in women’s relationship to money since humans have roamed the earth.
So, how do we begin to understand some of the thoughts we’ve long held when it comes to money, and shift them if we want to? Tune in to this week’s episode as board-certified dermatologist and wealth coach Dr. Bonnie Koo and I take a look at prenups, the twofold reason women tend to make less money than men, the importance of contracts in marriage and money, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/235
Ever notice how when someone points out that you’re getting defensive, you tend to get more defensive?
Defensiveness can be difficult to shift because of this very reason! But it also blocks our growth, so it’s worth examining. It doesn’t come naturally and can take time to learn, but defensiveness IS a quality you can shift if you’d like.
Tune in to this week’s episode to learn how to identify defensiveness, what defensiveness has to teach us about our relationship with ourselves, and questions you can ask yourself to begin diffusing defensiveness now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/234
We’ve heard the word trauma used liberally the past few years, both in relation to shared global events (like the pandemic) and in relation to more trivial things (like someone cutting in line at Starbucks).
When a psychological concept goes mainstream, it’s bound to be understood differently by different people. So, what IS trauma? What is NOT trauma? And if we want to change the relationship with our trauma and the way it makes us feel, how can we guide ourselves to think differently about it?
Tune in to this week’s episode as podcast host, New York Times best-selling author, speaker, and spiritual leader, Gabby Bernstein shares about her own trauma treatment story and the role curiosity and compassion have played in it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/233
We all have personal preferences. Do we like a partner who’s tall or short? Do we prefer friendships with people who have similar jobs to ours? Do we like a house in the suburbs or a condo in the middle of the city?
And there’s nothing wrong with preferring one thing to another, whether it’s in dating, friendship, or where we live and work. But it is always worth examining the reasons behind our preferences and, if we want to, working to dismantle any thinking that’s causing us to have them.
Tune in to this week’s episode as celebrity dating coach Damona Hoffman and I talk about changing biased preferences in dating or in any other area of your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/232
We often hear platitudes like “if it’s meant to be, it will be easy,” or “if it feels hard, maybe it’s not meant for you.” And while these phrases are usually said to make us feel better about work, relationships, or whatever the situation is at hand, there’s a danger in them, too.
The truth is, emotional growth often feels TERRIBLE, so if we find ourselves constantly shying away from resistance or difficulty, we may also miss out on opportunities for BIG growth. Tune in to learn how to discern what’s worth emotional difficulty and what’s not.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/231
What is the difference between therapy and life coaching? Are the two modalities at odds with each other? When might you want to seek a therapist vs a coach to support you?
In this week’s podcast episode, therapist and life coach Mollie Birney joins me for an exploration of these questions and more. Tune in to learn more about both therapy AND coaching, and how both modalities can support your own mental health journey.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/230
Coaching is about more than affirmations and good vibes. If you’ve ever wondered about the neurochemistry of thought work, this episode is for you. In it, I will interview Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist and bestselling author who can speak directly to why cognitive coaching tools are so effective - and how they can transform your brain and life.
Tune in as we discuss how to use cognitive neuroscience to tackle internalized oppression and create the life (and world) you want to be in.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/229
Are you a feminist who is sick of feeling burdened with an invisible workload in your relationships? In this special interview with Master Certified Life Coach and bestselling author Susan Hyatt, you will learn how to reconcile your feminist ideals with your real-world relationship dynamics… without feeling frustrated or bitter. Tune in to learn how to use coaching tools to liberate yourself from both patriarchy AND resentment in your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/228
What if there were one question you could ask yourself that immediately put you in touch with your highest priorities, your deepest values, and how you want to live in the world? In this episode, you will learn the question I ask myself to instantly gain perspective and clarity on what matters most to me. Tune in to learn how this question can change your life, too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/227
Are you an entrepreneur looking to explore how you can infuse your business with coaching principles? Or maybe you’re simply curious what is possible when you bring coaching tools into the workplace?
In this episode, you will learn about the impact of embracing thought work tools at work, especially as a manager. If you’re curious how coaching can be used to empower employees, this episode is for you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/226
One of the most common pieces of advice that women receive is that they should build their confidence - but where does insecurity actually come from, and what does “building your confidence” look like in the real world? Is it all power poses and affirmations, as Pinterest would have you believe?
In this special release episode, you will listen to an interview that I did on the 51 First Dates podcast to learn practical tips on how to grow your confidence (no chanting in the mirror required!). Oh, and you’ll get all the juicy details about the worst date I’ve ever been on.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/225
There’s a common belief that being single is a lonely, dreary slog, especially for folks who are ultimately looking to partner up. In this week’s podcast episode you will learn how to love the f*ck out of your single life…whether you’re single by choice or are looking to change your relationship status.
I’m joined by Shani Silver, podcast host and author of “A Single Revolution,” for a conversation about how to reframe the way you think about and experience single life. This episode is powerful even if you’re currently partnered, because the more you love your relationship to yourself, the happier you will be in your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/224
Do you struggle with burnout? If so, you can thank our capitalist, patriarchal and puritanical society for that. In this special episode with Caroline Dooner - burnout expert and author of The F*ck It Diet and Tired as F*ck - you will learn how to use coaching tools to overcome burnout for good. (And no, this doesn’t look like just taking more vacation time!)
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/223
I recently wrapped an amazing 3-day virtual event on goal-setting and the breakthroughs were so good that I wanted to share them with you.
Tune in to this episode to learn all about why you may be closer to achieving your goal than you think, why being wrong is the GREATEST thing, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/222
Society has a way of leading you to believe that the path laid out in front of you is unchangeable. But just because you see other people following the same path, doesn’t mean you have to follow it. In fact, embracing the power you have to create new ways of moving through the world is how you own your agency and create change in the world. Today, I’m having a conversation with Trudi Lebron, one of my personal coaches, who specializes in diversity and inclusion work and creating just and ethical businesses. Listen in as we discuss how you can create opportunities for yourself by claiming your agency, and how that can translate to creating business and institutions that treat people better.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/221
Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a coach or work for one? Or, perhaps, how different your experience would be if you used thought work tools at work?
In this episode, you will meet one of my employees - Elana McKernan - and learn how we use coaching tools and philosophies to build our company culture and shape our work experience.
Whether you are in the coaching industry or not, you will leave this episode with a better understanding of how you can utilize coaching to level up your own work experience.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/220
Do you tend to put your self-development teachers on a pedestal, taking their words as absolute truth and feeling super stressed out if you ever disagree or anyone suggests they might be wrong?
You’re not alone. Most people who are drawn to self-development are looking for The Answer To Everything. But the truth is, we’re all trying to make sense of this strange experience of being a human - and the more you defer to others as an authority in your own life, the less you are able to take ownership of your experience of the world.
In this episode, you will learn how to relate to YOURSELF as the ultimate authority - and why doing so will impact everything in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/219
Have you ever achieved a goal in the hopes that it would make you feel more confident and less anxious, only to find yourself a week later, asking, “uuh…now what?” If you’re expecting your New Year’s resolutions (or any other achievements) to change how you feel about yourself, you are misunderstanding how your brain works and setting yourself up for disappointment.
In this episode, Victoria Myers of the Nourishing Women Podcast joins me to discuss why you have to address the thoughts behind your resolutions if you want to create a new relationship with yourself. This is required listening for any of you who are considering setting big goals in 2022!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/218
The problem with most resolutions is that they hinge on the idea that when the clocks roll over to the new year, you will become an entirely new person. In this episode, Caroline Dooner of The F*ck It Podcast will join me to discuss how to establish REALISTIC, achievable intentions or resolutions for the New Year, so that you can create the mental infrastructure to make real, lasting change in your life (but only if you want to - we’ll also cover why the premise that you need to change at all is a flawed one!). Before you sit down to write your 2022 New Year’s resolutions, listen to this episode!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/217
You know that thing your kid (or anyone, for that matter) does that drives you insane? And how it sets you off every time? Have you ever stopped to explore why that “trigger” exists in the first place, instead of just trying to “fix” it? If you search a bit deeper, you'll find that it probably stems from your childhood, and how you were parented. Once you have the why, you can use it to uplevel not only your parenting but also your relationship with yourself.
Tune in as I talk with clinical psychologist, Dr. Becky Kennedy, and we discuss how triggers can serve an essential role in our overall system, why they exist, and what you can do about them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/216
Your biggest obstacle to mind-blowing pleasure isn’t your partner’s inability to find your g-spot or your inability to find a partner or your limited drawer of sex toys...it’s actually your thoughts.
If you find yourself stressing about your appearance during sex (solo or with a partner!), worrying about your partner’s pleasure more than your own, or feeling like your desire is dependent on whether someone desires you, tune in to this interview with August McLaughlin from Girl Boner Radio. In it, we explore some common orgasm-blocking thoughts, and how to rewire your brain so you can jump-start your libido.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/215
Do you think that you have to be mean to yourself to achieve your goals? Our culture conditions us to associate self-criticism with achievement, and to believe that if we’re kind to ourselves as we pursue our goals, we’ll never get sh*t done.
Here to challenge that narrative is bestselling author, lawyer, syndicated daytime talk show host, and motivational speaker Mel Robbins. Tune in to learn about how Mel came to realize that her self-critical habits were harming her more than they were helping her, and how you can achieve more than you ever thought possible by motivating yourself with kindness.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/214
Coaching is like magic when you’ve identified a “problem” and want help creating something new in your life. But what about the times that you genuinely, truly, cannot figure out what the fuck is going on with your brain? When you’re feeling angry, sad, or lost and you can’t pinpoint why for weeks or months or even years at a time?
Tune in to this week’s podcast to learn how to hold space for yourself even when you don’t understand what’s happening in your brain - and how to turn these experiences into an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/213
Many women have the sense that they’re not good enough or worthy enough unless other people think they are. Why? Because society has taught us that we need to put everyone else’s needs before our own, and so we develop some codependent thought patterns to evaluate our worth. Instead of learning to validate ourselves, we rely on outside approval to feel good about ourselves.
This week, I’m talking to Victoria Albina, nurse practitioner-turned-life coach, about how this codependency affects our nervous systems and can impair our brains’ abilities to function. Tune in to find out how to regulate your nervous system, how to stop people-pleasing and seeking external validation, and how to believe that you’re already worthy - starting today.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/212
Have you ever set out on a journey of self-love only to find that the path wasn’t as easy or straightforward as you thought?
In this week’s episode, I talk to clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary about how to have a radical awakening (which happens to be the title of her newest book) that leads to uncovering the beliefs and patterns that you have today, so that you can move them out of your way on your journey to loving yourself.
Tune in to find out why radical self-awareness without compassion for yourself is not *real* self-awareness, and how you can have a radical awakening of your own.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/211
How often do you find yourself obsessing over what another person is thinking? In this Greatest Hits episode, you will learn why focusing on other people’s thoughts and feelings is a losing game, and how to set yourself free by focusing on your own thoughts and feelings.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/210
Feminist coaching isn’t just for radical leftists or people who identify as progressive. In today’s episode, you will meet two life coaches who graduated from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching program and who identify as more politically and religiously conservative than I do. Tune into this podcast to find out how these coaches incorporated feminist principles into their coaching practices - and their lives - while remaining true to their personal beliefs (and how you can, too!)
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/209
Whatever your personal belief system and religious background, if you are a human in the world, then it’s likely that you have been impacted by patriarchal religious ideologies.
On today’s podcast, you will meet a very special guest coach and graduate of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching Certification program, Amy Logan. Amy calls herself the Ex-Mormon Coach and she helps people who are on the other side of Mormonism reconcile their new identity. Tune in to gain insight into Amy’s journey of questioning and eventually choosing to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/208
As coaches, we know that our thoughts create our results, right? But in order to coach our clients effectively on their thoughts, we have to understand the CONTEXT from which these thoughts emerged. Someone whose cultural history involves persecution and multigenerational trauma may not resonate with the coaching that “everything will happen as it’s meant to,” just as someone who has learned explicitly and implicitly that their sexuality is wrong or bad won’t respond to coaching that does not take this history into account. In this episode, you will learn how approaching your clients with radical curiosity and learning to spot how their thoughts have been shaped by their cultural context will enable you to coach clients with lived experiences that differ from your own. In this special episode, guest coaches Rachel Hart and Dr. Sonia Wright join Kara Loewentheil for a conversation about why understanding your clients’ context is so important, and how committing to curiosity and nonjudgment will help you navigate your own blind spots as a coach.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb5
Are you worried that wanting more money is greedy? Does talking or even thinking about money make you uncomfortable? Whether you love money and want more of it, think money is the root of all evil, or anywhere in between, this episode will help you understand why unf*cking your thoughts around money is such an important feminist issue.
You will meet three graduates from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching program - Chernique Vertus, Keli Jackson, and Natasha Tekeste - for a frank conversation about why women find it so controversial to want money, what keeps women from making more money, why making money is a social justice issue, and how to use coaching tools to shift your money mindset.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/207
Many coaches believe that once they become certified, they will be equipped with the tools to coach anyone on anything. It’s a lovely thought, but maybe not so helpful when you’re in your tenth session with a client who just stares at you blankly as you try to explain, for the 50th time, how their thoughts are creating their results and why that’s a great thing. While there are certainly powerful frameworks out there, the coaching principles we learn aren’t one-size-fits-all. One single tool or framework isn’t going to work for everybody, and that’s ok. In this episode, Kara Loewentheil and Simone Seol will discuss how to bring more openness, nuance, and discernment into your coaching, so you can coach clients of different backgrounds and lived experiences effectively.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb4
Does saying “no” make you feel like you’re going to die? Are you so fixated on taking care of everybody around you that you neglect yourself? People socialized as women are taught that they are responsible for everyone else’s thoughts and feelings, and that their value comes from taking care of others…so it’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with people-pleasing.
On this episode, you will meet three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students - Maggie Reyes, Sara Fisk, and Sonia Wright - for a conversation about where people-pleasing comes from, how it manifests in their clients, and how to interrupt your people-pleasing habit.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/206
Coaching tools didn’t descend from the heavens. They were developed by humans whose social context impacted the way they saw the world and their clients, including what they even viewed as a “problem” to be solved in the first place. In other words, those coaching modalities that you know and love? Yeah, those were made up. Before you abandon all meaning and run off into the woods, tune into this episode to learn why understanding this is exactly what will elevate your coaching. Kara Loewentheil and Simone Seol will discuss how learning the intellectual history of modern coaching concepts and embracing the subjectivity of coaching modalities will help you deliver powerful coaching to clients with radically different backgrounds and beliefs than you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb3
Are you hesitant to identify as a feminist? Conversely, do you struggle to understand why any woman WOULDN’T want to identify as a feminist? Cultural messaging around what feminism means is so pervasive that even proud feminists often have to shed cultural narratives that feminists are angry, humorless man-haters. When you look at the history of feminism through an intersectional lens, it becomes even clearer why some women - especially BIPOC women - may not identify with the movement.
In this episode, I am joined by four of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching (ACFC) graduates to discuss their discomfort with the label prior to joining the certification, and how ACFC changed their relationship to feminism. Whether you strongly identify as a feminist, or you’re unsure about whether you want to be one and what that even means, this episode will help you understand your own blind spots around why other people may not relate to this movement as you do.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/205
Do you understand how the legacies of slavery, colonialism, and genocide have shaped the world we live in? If not, you are missing an incredible opportunity to deepen your coaching and serve your clients and the world. In this episode, coaches Kara Loewentheil and Simone Seol will teach you how you can avoid whitewashing your coaching by understanding your historical context, the context of your clients, and the context of the coaching industry as a whole. Listen in to learn why broadening your historical literacy is so vital to creating a coaching business that meets the demands of a multicultural world.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb2
Are you a coach or thought work aficionado who wishes the industry would step it up to meet the demands of a complicated multi-cultural world? In this special episode, you will get a preview of a brand new podcast that I created with my dear friend and fellow life coach, Simone Seol: Outside the White Box: Elevating the Coaching Conversation. This is the first episode of a limited series that will weave together unofficial expertise in history, sociology, anthropology and thought work to challenge the “white box” of mainstream self-development and elevate the coaching conversation. Tune in to learn all about how to elevate the industry by embracing complexity in your marketing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/204
Do you love setting goals and imagining what your life will be like when you achieve them? And then do you spend so much time living in this imagined future that you skip the part where you actually have to, you know, build the habits required to achieve that goal?
If so, you’re not alone. But you’re also missing the crucial ingredient for success: Taking consistent, imperfect action toward your goal. Tune in to this episode to learn why habit formation is the REAL key to changing your life - and how the concept of goal sobriety will help you achieve your dreams.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/203
Do you analyze text messages from romantic interests like you’re peering into into a crystal ball, constantly scanning for evidence of their interest (or lack thereof)? Do you feel like your future happiness is completely at the mercy of the dating apps? In this episode, conscious dating and relationship coach Clara Artschwager and I dig into common dating anxieties and teach you how to let go of dating anxiety for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/202
Patriarchal beliefs are so ingrained in our society and social conditioning that they permeate how we view the world, others, and ourselves. In this episode, I am joined by global speaker, life coach, and author Andrea Owen to discuss a 4-step process to unlearning your internalized patriarchy so you can figure out what you REALLY want in life and make some noise in the world running toward it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/201
Even if you’re not a Brené Brown fan, you probably think that vulnerability is a powerful way to build intimacy in a relationship. But did you know vulnerability is even MORE powerful when you use it to strengthen your relationship with yourself? Learn how in this greatest hits episode.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/200
Are you waiting until next year to pursue a big, audacious goal? New Year’s Resolutions are like catnip to perfectionists, but in this episode, I’ll walk you through how to achieve a goal at ANY time, of ANY size, without using it against yourself. Tune into this episode to learn how to work WITH your perfectionist brain to blow your mind in the next few months of this year.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/199
Most people think of creativity as the ability to make art - to paint, sing, write, sculpt, etc. But even if you don’t consider yourself a “creative person,” you are creating your life, every day - your relationships, your career path, even the food you eat for lunch.
In today’s episode, I’m joined by three graduates from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching course - Elana McKernan, Judith Gaton, and Kori Linn - to discuss how you can use coaching tools to claim your creative authority and create ANYTHING you want in life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/198
Do you believe that goals are only worthwhile if they seem extremely challenging? Do you worry about what will happen if you set a goal that is literally impossible to achieve? Do you start out eager to create a new habit and then do a complete 180 and want to rebel against the new “rule” you’ve created for yourself?
In this Listener QA episode, I’m working through common challenges that listeners face when setting and working toward their goals. Tune in to learn how to use coaching tools to set great goals and then overcome all your brain’s drama in order to achieve them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/197
Do you struggle to find work-life balance? Women are socialized to believe that they can have (and should WANT to have) it “all” - and then they experience pressure to create work-life balance for themselves. But the concept of balance (and the idea of what women should want) is a gendered and economically privileged one.
In today’s episode, I’m joining four amazing graduates from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching program for a conversation about how to define what having it all looks like on YOUR terms, and how to think about the idea of a “balanced” life in a way that serves you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/196
Do you find yourself judging or doubting your decisions all the time? Do you tend to defer to the advice of friends, corporations, media, and even strangers rather than trusting yourself? You’re not alone. Women have been conditioned to see everyone BUT ourselves as the expert on their lives. In today’s episode, you will learn how to claim authority over your life and go from hesitation and confusion to unapologetically owning your life and taking powerful actions every day.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/195
Tune into today’s Listener Q&A episode for an exploration of some common areas in which the patriarchy f*cks with our brains. You will learn how to use coaching tools to deprogram patriarchal conditioning so you can: feel great about getting help with domestic tasks, stop feeling like you’re in competition with other women, stop shaming yourself for feeling proud of your accomplishments because you think you should be more “humble,” and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/194
Do you worry about the future? Do you stress and plan for a hundred different “worst case” scenarios in the hopes that doing so will make you more “prepared” for what’s to come? Humans evolved to fear uncertainty above all else, which kept us safe from starving to death or being eaten by a predator…but now, it’s a recipe for crippling anxiety. Tune into today’s podcast to learn how to solve your uncertainty problem so you can transform your fear into peace and acceptance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/193
On today’s episode, you’ll get to meet Hannah Berner, a hilarious stand-up comedian, host of the “Berning in Hell” podcast, and a member of Bravo TV’s “Summer House.” As someone who is not connected to the life coaching/self-help field, Hannah will offer a new perspective on how thought work plays a role in her life and her experiences. Our conversation will help you understand the messaging that women absorb from society that keeps them doubting themselves and their value, and how to use coaching tools to feel happier in your professional life and your personal life (no matter what your goals are).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/192
Most of us believe we’re at the mercy of things that we feel triggered by. We blame them, we avoid them, and we even avoid thinking about them. But what if the kindest thing you could do for yourself was to lean in and get curious about them? In today’s episode, you will learn how to use coaching tools to turn intense negative emotions into opportunities for growth.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/191
Sure, we all want to have a better body image…but what does that actually look like in practice? In this week’s Listener Q&A episode, you will get concrete advice on how to use coaching tools to improve your relationship with your body. Tune in to learn why your weight is NOT an accurate barometer for your health, how to let go of old stories that have kept you feeling powerless around food, how to use coaching tools to help with symptoms of PMS or other hormonal imbalances, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/190
Tune into this episode to learn: 1) How you are way more creative than you think you are, 2) why you have to ACCEPT your current reality in order to change it, 3) what self-love REALLY means (spoiler: it doesn’t require feeling blissed-out and in love with yourself 100% of the time), and 4) what you’ve gotten wrong about human nature (and why that’s actually a good thing).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/189
What do a feminist life coach and a Mormon life coach have in common? A lot, it turns out, when it comes to thought work. On today’s episode, you will meet Jody Moore, mother of four, friend and colleague, and the most influential Mormon life coach in the world. Tune in to learn about the history of our unlikely friendship, how coaching has enabled us to have difficult conversations with people who have beliefs that conflict with ours, why it’s imperative to step out of black and white thinking in order to achieve any goal, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/188
Have you ever struggled to forgive someone? You’re not alone, but thought work can help. Tune into this week’s Greatest Hits podcast episode to learn how your resistance to forgiveness is harming YOU, and then learn a simple process that will allow you to forgive anyone (including and especially yourself).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/187
Is the current online accountability discourse a productive, meaningful, and proportional response to systemic injustice? Or is it a punitive expression of a carceral mob mentality? In the second part of this special two-part series, I invited three of my colleagues and advanced certification students - Master Coach Brenda Lomeli, Master Coach Brig Johnson, and Clutch Coach Amber Taylor - to have a nuanced discussion about why so many women fear being “canceled,” how online accountability conversations emerged from restorative justice practices, and why it’s so important to unpack any strong reactions you are having to the concept.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/186
Whether you call it call-in culture, consequence culture or "cancel culture,” you likely have an opinion about the current online accountability discourse. On this special two-part series, I invited three of my colleagues and advanced certification students - Master Coach Brenda Lomeli, Master Coach Brig Johnson, and Clutch Coach Amber Taylor - to discuss the range of actions and conversations that get lumped together, sometimes unhelpfully, in this movement. Join us for the first part of the conversation in which we explore accountability in the context of white supremacy, racial and social justice, online social dynamics, and psychology.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/185
Do you believe that you have to quit your job in order to take any action on starting your dream business? That you can only be happy if you have a very specific kind of life? That you have to cut someone out of your life because they did something you dislike? These are all examples of black and white thinking, one of the most pervasive - and limiting - ways of looking at the world. Tune in to learn how embracing shades of grey will open up your life and expand your impact in the world.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/184
Do you have a phobia or fear that you want to get under control? Do you want more out of life, but struggle with indecision and confusion about how to change? Have you ever wondered why some people thrive in certain environments, while others have to coach themselves a ton just to make it through the day? In today’s Listener Q&A episode, I’ll explore these questions and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/183
Are your efforts to challenge sexism, racism, and other oppressive systems leaving you frustrated, overwhelmed, and burnt out? Tune in to this week’s Greatest Hits episode to learn how to use coaching tools to create social change without draining yourself or feeling angry all the time. When you learn how to liberate yourself from fear and judgment, you create endless energy to liberate the world.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/182
Because discussions about abortion tend to be so polarized, it can be difficult to unpack your thoughts and feelings about the decision, even though more than 1/3 of Americans will have an abortion in their lifetime. This week, I’m joined by Amanda Kingsley, a Certified Life Coach, Doula and host of the Speaking Light Into Abortion podcast, to explore the prevailing thoughts many women have about their abortions - and how to let go of unnecessary pain and suffering around the decision.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/181
Do you ever feel shame scanning the self-help aisle of the bookstore? Do you roll your eyes when you see life coaches offering self-help courses on your IG/FB feed? It may surprise you, but the embarrassment or shame you feel toward self help is 100% internalized patriarchy. In today’s episode, you will learn why self help has more in common with ancient philosophical traditions than with self-indulgent spa trips, and why your own self-help practice is so important.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/180
Do you tend to make rejection mean there’s something “wrong” with you? Have you ever wondered how to know when a relationship is “toxic”? Do you struggle with a partner who is more extroverted than you are? In today’s Listener Q&A episode, I’ll answer some of your most burning relationship questions and share the role thought work can play in common relationship issues.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/179
You may think you aren’t close to achieving a goal until you’re 99% of the way there and the finish line is in view. But actually, the biggest distance you can cover is in taking your first few steps toward your goal. Going from inaction to action is INFINITE growth. Once you’ve done that? You can just repeat the process until you reach your destination. In this Greatest Hits episode, you will learn how minuscule steps create exponential growth.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/178
Do you torture yourself on the way to a goal, in the hopes that you’ll feel different when you “get there?” Do you think of goals as shiny gold coins to collect in order to feel better about yourself? Do you undermine or discount your accomplishments? Tune into this episode for some mind-blowing wisdom from a live event I hosted earlier this year. You will learn how to reframe everything from your relationship to goal-setting, and learn how to develop the single most important skill to uplevel your growth.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/177
Want to learn what thought work and tarot have in common? In this week’s special episode, I have invited my friend, philosopher, writer, and tarotist Jessica Dore onto the podcast to discuss all things thought work and tarot...and to give me a mini-reading! Jessica has a background in cognitive and behavioral therapy, and uses the art of mysticism to help her clients gain a deeper understanding of themselves.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/176
Do you feel pressured to have a “life goal” or to discover your “calling” in life? Do you struggle with defensiveness when receiving negative feedback at work? In today’s Listener Q&A episode, I’ll answer some common questions about work and entrepreneurship, and share the thoughts I used to scale my business from $50k to 1 million, and beyond.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/175
We live in a society that teaches women to put themselves last, and the more marginalized identities you live in, the more ways you are told you’re not good enough or worthy of taking up space. For those who live in marginalized identities, self-love is a radical political act that enables us to claim our worth and challenge oppressive belief systems. Tune into today’s Greatest Hits episode to learn how to cultivate radical self-love and how to use it to transform the world.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/174
Do you lay awake at night obsessing over why a new date or partner took 3 hours to respond to your text instead of their usual 30 minutes? Or maybe you start to feel avoidant when a new partner wants to hang out too much, and worry about losing independence in a relationship? Whatever your attachment style, this Greatest Hits episode will help you discover how it may be affecting your relationships - and how to use thought work to feel secure in your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/173
Do you tie your self-worth to how productive you are? You know the signs: Never feeling like you’re doing enough, criticizing yourself for being “lazy” or “unmotivated.” If you feel stuck in a cycle of burnout and self-criticism, this episode’s for you. On today’s podcast, I join business coach Simone Seol to explore cultural beliefs about productivity - and how shifting your own beliefs about productivity can help you compound your results.
Get full show notes and more information here:https://unfuckyourbrain.com/172
Do you believe that if you just got that new job title, got married, or achieved any other fill-in-the-blank-accomplishment, you’d be happy and confident? And then do you create unrealistic plans to achieve that goal and abandon them entirely when you inevitably stumble in the execution? Tune into this Greatest Hits episode to learn how your perfectionist fantasies are holding you back - and how to build integrity with yourself (and accomplish your goals) by letting them go.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/171
It’s no secret that I am an anti-diet coach. On today’s podcast, I’ll introduce you to my dear friend - and wildly successful weight loss coach - Corinne Crabtree. We’ll dive into our shared qualms with the diet industry, explore how Corinne holds space for unconditional self-love and body diversity in how she teaches weight loss, and discuss the top three lessons we’ve learned from each other.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/170
There are a lot of misunderstandings about life coaching out there - that coaching is about gaslighting and spiritual bypassing, that it’s about learning how to “fix” yourself on your own, that it’s only for privileged people. In today’s podcast, I break down the 5 biggest misconceptions about mindset coaching to reveal what coaching is really about: taking control of your experience of the world and generating more love and compassion for yourself and others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/169
Most women feel immense pressure to be “normal.” We evolved to conform for our literal safety, and patriarchy has socialized us to fit in, to defer to the needs of others, to not challenge the dominant social norms. But in order to create an extraordinary life, you have to learn how to leave normal behind and be YOURSELF, fully, weird and wonderful as you are. Learn how in today’s episode.
Get full show notes and more information here:https://unfuckyourbrain.com/168
Why is it so valuable to set audacious goals, and how would it feel to have full confidence you could create exactly what you want this year? Find out in today’s podcast with Master Certified Coach and holistic nutritionist Brenda Lomeli, who has changed lives and shattered glass ceilings on the way to accepting herself fully. We’ll share 3 things we’ve learned from each other, how diversity benefits the entire coaching industry, and why it’s sometimes good to feel nauseous.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/167
Are you a perfectionist who wants to do something big? Most of the tools life coaches use to help their clients go after big goals don’t take perfectionist thought patterns into account, which sets you up to fail before you’ve even started. Tune into today’s episode to learn how to work WITH your brain and blow your f*cking mind.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/166
The year is almost over, which means a lot of people are making ambitious resolutions that they will fully abandon by February 1. Tune into today’s bonus podcast to learn how to use the concepts of constraint and massive action to break the cycle of abandoned resolutions and achieve any goal you make for yourself this year.
Get full show notes and more information here:https://unfuckyourbrain.com/make-keep-resolutions/
Do you agree to do things you’d prefer not to because you’re worried it would be rude or uncomfortable to refuse? Whether you take on extra obligations at work or make subtle concessions at home to “keep the peace,” your discomfort with saying no is likely impacting every area of your life. Tune into today’s episode to learn how you can say YES to yourself by getting better at saying NO to others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/165
This week, I invited fellow life coach, friend, and sales savant Stacey Boehman onto the podcast. Stacey is a Master Certified Coach who teaches other coaches how to sell and make money. Tune in as we explore the top three lessons we’ve learned from each other, where security and safety come from, and Stacey’s history of deer-related trauma (yes, you read that right).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/164
Do you get attached to the things you love? Many people wear their attachment as a badge of honor, thinking that loving something deeply means fearing its loss. In this episode, I’ll teach you why loving lightly - without attachment - is so revolutionary. You will learn how to love others lightly by committing to your OWN happiness, knowing that you will always love yourself and your life, no matter what.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/163
What happens when two coaches fall in (platonic) love? You’ll find out in this episode, where I’ll introduce you to life coach - and best friend of mine - Rachel Hart. You’ll get a window into how our friendship has transformed both of our lives, and find out the three most valuable lessons we’ve learned from each other.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/162
If you have insomnia, do you spend so much energy dreading the possibility of waking up at night that you literally can’t fall asleep? This is a perfect example of anticipatory stress, the stress we feel in anticipation of anything we label “bad.” It’s also the main source of our suffering in any situation we dread. Tune in to learn four simple steps you can take to feel calmer even if what you fear comes to pass.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/161
Do you define yourself by what you have or haven’t achieved in the past? If you’re in debt, do you think of yourself as someone who’s bad with money? If you’re perpetually single, do you think you aren’t capable of love? Most of us judge ourselves because we want to change - but doing so actually PREVENTS us from changing. If you want to change your life, you have to start by changing your beliefs about yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/160
How often do you look at someone else’s behavior and think, “If I were them, I’d do that differently”? This may seem like an innocent habit, but it can wreak havoc on your relationships and stagnate your growth. In today’s episode, learn how to let go of your judgments and generate curiosity, compassion, and love for those around you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/159
Do you ever notice a low hum of discomfort and anxiety when you do things that someone, somewhere along the line, told you that you shouldn’t do? Like, say, eat carbs or take a nap. In this episode, I’ll teach you a simple brain hack that will instantly dissolve your guilt and discomfort. Get ready to take control of your life and experience WHATEVER you choose with more ease, relaxation, and pleasure.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/158
Are you feeling anxious and worried about the upcoming US presidential election? Our brains are wired to fixate on anything in the future that they perceive as a potential “threat,” but you don’t have to let your fear consume you. In this episode, I’ll teach you how to wrangle your brain when you are spinning out about the election (or any other future-focused event you’re stressed about).
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/157
A lot of people think that “your thoughts create your feelings” means they should blame themselves if they’re struggling, even if they’re dealing with the effects of trauma. Listen to this episode to learn how to ACCEPT what you’re feeling rather than judge it, and why applying this radical acceptance to your life will set you free.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/156
Do you know how to solve your own problems? Resourcefulness is one of the most important qualities you need to live an incredible life, but many of us have brains that just throw up their metaphorical hands and want to die whenever the smallest hurdle arises. Learn why resourcefulness is so important, and how you can develop this critical skill, in today’s episode.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/155
Is your brain haunting you? Most of us experience ghosts of old anxious thought patterns even after we’ve used coaching to feel more confident and secure. In today’s episode, I’ll teach you why these sparks of anxiety are so persistent, and what you can do the next time you experience a “haunting.”
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/154
You would never go to a toy store for a gala dress, so why do you stay with someone who’s afraid of commitment, when you’re looking for a life partner? Why do you seek validation from a parent, when they’ve never once approved of your choices? In this episode, I’ll teach you how to stop seeking validation, love, and approval from people who will never give it to you - and how to give it to yourself, instead.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/153
Are you feeling hopeless, afraid, despondent, or angry at the recent passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg? In today’s podcast, I will teach you how to take hopeful action even when you aren’t FEELING hopeful, by using the coaching model to generate feelings of commitment. Hope feels good when it happens to arrive, but commitment will create a revolution.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/152
Do you wish your life looked more like those minimalist Instagram homes full of light and clean lines and constraint? In today’s podcast episode, you will learn about the patriarchal underpinnings of minimalism and why I embrace MAXIMALISM instead. Tune in to get a taste of what life could look like if you stopped restricting yourself and gave yourself permission to be as colorful, loud, and abundant as you wanted.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/151
Women are socialized to compromise our needs and happiness behind the needs of family, friends, even strangers. At the same time, we’ve also experienced situations where compromise is helpful and growth-promoting. In this podcast episode, you will learn a few simple questions to ask yourself so that you will always know when to compromise and when to stand firm.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/150
Most of us are so steeped in fatphobia that we don’t even realize it exists…and yet it impacts every aspect of our lives, from what we think about our bodies to what our doctors tell us when we are sick. Listen in to learn how I used thought work to overcome my own internalized fatphobia, and how you can set yourself free, too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/149
Listen in this week to discover why the framing of intuition as something you use to categorize an experience doesn’t serve you, how it gets confused with feelings of anxiety, and the role of cognitive bias here. You need to examine the assumption that you should act on something without question if it’s coming from your intuition, and I’m guiding you through this process today.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/148
Listen in today to get a taste of what it’s like to join The Clutch where I coach every single week on topics like body image and thought work. I’m doing a listener Q&A to coach on some of the most frequent questions I get sent. If you’re loving what you’re learning here and want a chance to have your questions addressed, come join us there!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/147
Listen in this week to discover if you might be using thought work against yourself. There are two main ways that I see this play out very commonly, and I’m showing you why using thought work within these contexts can sometimes bring you awareness, but ultimately they are longer paths to getting to that point.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/146
Join me this week as I show you what mental flexibility is and why this skill is crucial in thought work. I’m outlining the irony that exists in resisting being challenged or in trying on a new contradictory thought, and why accepting, allowing, and holding space for two conflicting beliefs is what will help you move into alignment with the thing you want to become or have.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/145
Join me on the podcast today as I show you when it’s useful to think about other people’s models, when it’s not, and why. Making your mental and emotional state contingent upon what other people might be thinking, feeling, or doing is useless and a waste of energy, and my goal is to show you that you never have to know what someone else is thinking to decide what you are going to think.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/144
Join me this week as I show you the power that lies in practicing radical self-love and exquisite self-care, why it is a radical subversive act, and how liberation from an oppressive ideology is an inside job. Radical self-love is where change has to start, and it’s a tool that will give you the emotional resources and mental freedom to transform your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/143
Join me today as I share the nuances that come with being an overactor and an underactor, and the antidotes for each type of behavior. Both types are self-critical and often feel miserable about their goals, and I’ll be showing you how balanced action is the key to your own growth and appreciation for the journey, no matter what you may be working on.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/142
Join me today as I show you what true closure is and how to get it. I’m outlining two things that many people believe will bring them closure if they had it, why these things are just lies our brains feed us, and the only thing that is really in your way of being happy right now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/141
Join me on the podcast today as I show you why you have to sell yourself and commit to watering, nurturing, and growing the new thoughts you’ve planted in your brain to make your visions and dreams come true. You’ll inevitably have mixed results along the way, but that’s just part of the process.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/140
Today I'm showing you how thought work can be used in various scenarios to improve your sex life and your physical experience of sex. It’s not all biology, your thoughts have a huge impact on the sexual dynamic between you and your partner, and your experience of sex overall.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/139
Listen in this week as I share a technique that I’ve found effective in connecting to your sexuality by embodying your own desire. This can feel uncomfortable and it may bring up strong emotions for you, and that’s totally okay and normal. The great thing about this work is that you can take it as slow as you want, without anyone else being involved.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/138
Join me today as I show you what is actually happening when you feel defensive, and how shame feeds into this feeling and prevents you from consciously digging into your thoughts. Anxiety, shame, and defensiveness are signals for you to get curious, and cluing yourself in and asking the right questions will allow you to see where you might be out of alignment and make changes.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/137
Join us today as Erika shares her experience of navigating racism and her own journey of finding her voice to speak up and have difficult conversations as a black woman. You’ll hear how learning the coaching tools has impacted her life, and she illustrates the nuances of how she uses thought work to process her experiences, allow her emotions, and take action.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/junebonus2
Listen in today to discover the most productive ways for you to be an ally and to make anti-racism a practice. I’m showing you how to use thought work to start questioning your belief systems. There is no one right way to do this, and creating guilt and shame for yourself never results in transformation.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/136
Today I'm sharing two big reasons why you need to embrace the suck. We’re going to experience it at least 50% of the time anyway, so why not accept that and move through the world knowing that it sometimes sucks to be a human? There is no perfect way to do this, and willing to stay present is a skill that will help you embrace the other 50% that is full of joy and happiness.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/135
This week, I want you to hear from some of my Clutch students who have used thought work to change their relationship with money. I love that they each bring a unique perspective on this topic, coming from various fields and industries, and every single of them has used what they’ve learned in The Clutch to create a more abundant financial mindset.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/134
This week I illuminate the importance of this work in feeling secure in your moral value and worth, and why you, as a human, have inherent and intrinsic value just for existing. It’s no surprise that women tend to experience a lot of emotional drama when it comes to financial conversations or discussing their economic worth, and I’m untangling all of this on the podcast today.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/133.
You can experience pleasure whenever and however you want, without permission from anyone else. I’m diving into how women don’t spend time on things we truly love, and why we’re not encouraged to take real pleasure seriously. Taking the time to create and experience pleasure is the best thing you can do for yourself, and I’m showing you how today.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/132
Kara and Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School explore how the Covid-19 outbreak is presenting a unique opportunity for us to level up our thought work skills. Learn why loneliness, fear, and misery are not inevitable reactions to the crisis - and how to shift your thinking to get relief.
Listen in this week to catch Marissa and Deb share their experience around dating, breakups, social justice, and how The Clutch has helped them shift their perspective. This is such a rich and interesting conversation, and I know that the discoveries they’ve made throughout their time in The Clutch will show you what is truly possible for you too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/131
I know all of you will be able to relate to having moments where your brain seems to go to worst-case scenarios; where you imagine all the horrible things that could potentially happen in your life, or what I call a “what-if parade.” Even though I’ve dedicated my life to the practice of thought work, I’m no exception, and today, I’m showing you why this is normal and what you can do when this happens.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/130
Listen in today as I show you how opportunities are available to you right now if you choose to see this crisis through a new lens. If you’re not currently living the life you want, I’m sharing some reasons why all of us humans tend to turn away from what’s possible for us, and finally, what it takes to create the life of your dreams.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/purpose-peace-11
Join us on the podcast this week as The Clutch members, Bessie and Elizabeth, share their lessons learned and the best thought work they’ve done to transform their lives. I’m so excited for them to show you what’s truly possible when you learn how to manage your mind and I know that they’ll inspire you to do the same.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/129
Join me on this episode as I show you why humans tend to want to believe that our lives will start in the future, or that it will start once we have achieved something, whether that’s weight loss, finding a partner, or anything else. Putting your life off until things get back to ‘normal’ is preventing you from experiencing the freedom and happiness you could be having right now if you embraced your current situation, and I’m giving you the tools to help you do that today.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/your-life-peace-10
This is a time of questioning and being curious of your patterns, belief systems, and actions that you’ve been able to escape from before the pandemic, and you’re going to see how it shows up for three of my clients. We’re addressing questions around living your best life right now, health anxiety, perfectionist tendencies, and getting things done in quarantine.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/live-coaching-peace-9
Join me this week as I talk through what boredom actually is, whether it’s a problem, and how you can handle it better. Letting boredom just exist in your body can feel extremely uncomfortable, but you’ll be surprised at how much growth and new insights you’ll discover on the other side of it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/128
Listen in today as I offer you three tools that I have found to be very helpful in my own life and with my clients with their health-related anxiety. Acknowledging the reality that you are mortal is the first step in finding peace with our current situation, and I’m walking you through how you can use these techniques to stay out of frenzy and anxiety.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/health-anxiety-peace-8
Listen in today as I show you why you can create value and money right now during a pandemic. Just because this is our current reality doesn’t mean you don’t have any control over your mind or the kind of results you can create anymore. I guarantee that taking ownership of your thoughts and choosing intentional thoughts around money will help you feel empowered and create any amount of money or value you want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/money-anxiety-peace-7
Listen in this week as I show you how your brain creates mental habits, and how cognitive bias is a crucial element to understand in changing them. This concept is applicable everywhere in your life, at any time, and the two ways I’m offering to you today of how to prevent your cognitive bias from running wild is going to give you so much more control over your mental and emotional experience.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/brain-habits-peace-6
Join me this week as I break down what it means to want something, the fundamental motivation for why you want something if you have an unmanaged mind, and two exercises you can use to determine what you actually want. I’ll also be diving into how women especially use thought work against themselves in deciding what they want for their lives.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/127
In the midst of what feels like chaos and frenzy, most of us are seeking some stability and familiarity. Staying focused and productive in some area of your life and feeling connected to other people are two ways of doing this, and I’m offering my recommendations of how you can do this reasonably and realistically.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/productivity-peace-5
Join me on this episode as I highlight why your mental health matters the most right now. You’ll discover what is possible for you when you prioritize this over your physical state, and how undermining it is actually deteriorating both your body and mind.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/mental-health-peace-4
Join me as I walk you through the difference between your thoughts and your feelings, and how to identify what a feeling is. From there, you’ll be able to start the process of intentionally creating emotions that you want to feel, and at the same time, you’ll be able to allow emotions that feel uncomfortable in your body without resisting them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/feel-better-peace-3
Discover exactly why we get sucked into believing that we can control other people and external circumstances, and why letting it go is the only path to true freedom. Any feeling you want to have can be achieved by relinquishing the belief that you can or should be able to control anything outside of yourself. To do this, I’m offering a set of questions you can ask yourself that will focus on the things you can control.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/126
Too often, we believe that the thoughts we have are unchangeable, and so we try to control everything outside of us to try to feel better, which is impossible. Instead, what I’m offering you today is a technique called neutral thoughts that will guide you in actively choosing thoughts that serve you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/neutralize-peace-2
Join me today to gain a deeper understanding of what is going on in your brain right now. This first step is crucial to changing the state of panic that you might be experiencing. I’ll also be highlighting how the news and social media can feed into the frenzy that your mind is going through.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/pandemic-peace-1
Join me this week to discover how you might be disempowering yourself by not embracing the agency you have over your own life. There is no right or wrong, failure or success. You can have any adventure you want, and there is no wrong story to write.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/125
Join me as I share some tools that you can practice to help you see why you might be feeling fear right now, as well as some reminders about the news and social media and the role it plays in your mental health. Acting out of fear will always feel terrible, and so I’m sharing my pandemic mission statement and some affirmations that you can use too, to help you be in control of your brain and manage your thoughts.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/pandemic-panic/
Join me this week as I introduce you to a concept I call self-improvement shame. Coming to this work with shame about yourself, to change your own negative thoughts about yourself, is never going to produce the change you want to see. You can’t outrun your shame, and so instead, I’m showing you how to start creating true transformation in the long-run.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/124
Discover the true impact of patriarchy on our brains through the concept of heuristics. I'm giving you the basics of how our brain unconsciously absorbs the messages we’re taught and creates reasoning shortcuts, and then how that ties into the patriarchy and our experience as people socialized as women.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/123
As you learn about thought work and start using these tools to change your life, it’s only natural to want to speed things up, change all of your beliefs, and start getting the results you want right away. Something I’ve seen every single one of my students do at some point is ‘silver-lining’ their thoughts to feel better, and today I’m showing you how this isn’t conducive to the process and why it doesn’t work.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/122
Join me this week to discover how practicing the skill of managing your mind can be the greatest gift you can give yourself. I’m now more kind and compassionate to myself in moments of intense suffering and negativity, and you too will get to see the transformations that are truly possible if you apply this work.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/121
Join me this week to see if you can identify with some of the limiting beliefs I was holding onto around family and romantic relationships, and see how you could free yourself of thoughts that aren’t serving you. Make sure to tune in next week as I dive into friendships and other social relationships too!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/120
On today’s episode, I’m diving into my relationship with my body image, work, and money mindset, and how that has shifted over the years of doing this work. A lot has changed since I first started in 2015, and I’m sharing the progress I’ve seen in those areas, as well as the habitual thought patterns that occasionally still show up.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/119
Listen in today to gain a new perspective on why it’s so hard to fundamentally understand that other people have totally different thoughts to you, and how you buy into the assumptions you have about what’s going on in their brain. If you don’t know what a model is, I’m giving you the basics to help you understand this concept better, and I’m also sharing my interpretation of what empathy really means.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/118
Listen in as I take a deep dive into entitlement, how it shows up and why, and a new way to start thinking about the results you want that will save you time and energy, instead of sitting in entitlement, which drains all of your resources and leaves you in emotional drama.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/117
This week, we’re talking about the past and how you think about it in terms of forgiveness and blame. As most people are looking to the future now that 2020 has begun, I’m taking it back so you can start seeing your future in a new way and release yourself from the suffering you might be experiencing.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/116
I’ve received questions on podcasting and how to be a credible host, what I think draws people to coaching and how to be a coach people are drawn to, and my thoughts on carrying your clients’ emotions as you coach them. I’m also responding to some questions you guys had on confidence and my best advice on how to be successful.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/115
This week, I’m diving into the basic premise of desire and why changing how we think about it can be so transformational. We tend to want to push this feeling away when we can’t have something, or rush to acquire the object of our desires if we can have it, but I want to suggest a new way to approach this feeling.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/114
I hope my answers are helpful in getting you into the new year with a well-managed mind to create all the results you want. I’m sharing my thoughts on unrequited love and whether it’s a problem, the basis of libido and sexual attraction, and how to ask better questions when it comes to creating anything that you want in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/113
Join me this week as I break down how true vulnerability creates intimacy in your life, and how to practice it. The only person who can make you feel vulnerable is you, so I want you to take this work and think about how you might be inflicting your own emotional pain.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/112
I’m answering work and self-worth related questions today, and I’ve seen a link across almost all the questions I’ve received. You might think these questions don’t relate to your specific circumstance if it’s not something you’re dealing with, but I’m sure you’ll find a common thread in your own life when you listen to my answers.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/111
This week, I’m taking a topic I’ve discussed on the podcast before a step further. Attachment theory is something you might believe in, or you might not, but I think it’s useful to discuss it to see how it’s affecting your relationships, especially in terms of your dating life.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/110
Listen in today as I bring you a short and sweet episode, but one that is so powerful in changing how you perceive your story and what might be going on for you right now. Using this thought whenever you’re struggling will help you see that you can handle any emotion and that nothing has gone wrong.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/109
Join me this week as I share the process I use when I feel triggered to grow and learn more about myself. I want this episode to act as a reminder that taking actions to move away from what feels bad isn’t a solution, and that there is so much missed opportunity when you do this.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/108
Listen in today as I give you a different perspective on the fear of uncertainty and how you can start to slowly let go of it. You don’t have to be terrified and let it stunt your growth. In fact, you can discover a whole new way of using thought work and stretch yourself in ways you never would have imagined.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/107
The questions I've received over the past week were so interesting and thoughtful, and I’m excited to address these topics on the podcast today.
They range from how thought work aligns with the concept of mindfulness, questions about coaching others and how I facilitate coaching sessions, to whether there is a right or wrong reason to practice thought work.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/106
The topics I’m covering range from general questions on classic thought work issues to some more specific questions from life coaches that I think will be super helpful to all of you. From the importance of niches, the belief that external factors could make you happy, to letting go of your emotional childhood, I’ve got it all covered today.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/105
It can be absolutely crippling and produce more anxiety than necessary, especially when we preemptively think about how we’ll feel when we have to get out there and perform. So this week, I’m approaching this concept from a slightly different perspective to show you what it really is, how we often exacerbate this negative feeling, and how to start resolving it.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/104
If there are things you want to achieve in your life or business but you’re worried about the expense, or not having enough time, or whether it’ll all work perfectly the way you imagine, today’s episode is for you. I’m highlighting these thoughts that have been running in your mind day in and day out, to help you look at them, and decide if you want to keep them.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/103
In this episode, I’m outlining my beliefs on internalized biases. We all have them, whether we’re conscious of them or not, as we live in a society where people have explicitly or implicitly taught us certain biases. It can be difficult to accept the thoughts we deem to be wrong or ugly that we’ve internalized about ourselves or others, but rejecting them is far from useful.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/102
The human ecosystem is a concept that I developed early on in my own thought work journey when I was trying to change the behaviors I didn’t like in the people around me - especially my partner at the time - but keep the ones I did. Sound familiar? Today, I’m taking a deep dive into this concept to show you how it applies to anyone in your life, including yourself, or any circumstance you experience.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/101
Join me this week to discover how the infinite 1% tool can shift your mindset completely. The difference between not doing anything and doing something 1% is huge so I hope you embrace it and start implementing this in your life because you will see some amazing transformations.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/100
Join me this week as I break down the way we process the feelings of safety and danger. These feelings are no exception to thought work, and it’s something we need to work on to teach our lizard brains that our perception of our safety is our responsibility and can be managed.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/99
On this episode, I’m covering some really common themes that I see a lot. If you’re working on your social anxiety, if you’re struggling in your relationships, or having anxiety-producing thoughts in the middle of the night, this one is for you.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/98
Do you ever find yourself consciously committing to a new goal or habit and then failing at it? I think everyone can relate to, at some point or another, trying to do something new and it seemingly just not working out. This week, I’m introducing you to a concept I call unconscious commitments; understanding this is going to be life-changing in getting more clarity on why you sometimes have a hard time achieving your goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/97
This week, I’m introducing you to a concept I first learned in yoga – beginner’s mind. I’m all about growth and evolution, and as humans, we naturally want to advance in anything we do. With that in mind, I’m delving into why learning to cultivate the beginner’s mind is crucial to actually improving your skills and advancing in your abilities.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/96
On this episode, I'm diving into why some of us - mostly women - struggle with the reality of aging. I'm exploring all factors, from our cultural stories and stereotypes to the archetypes of women that play into our identities as we move through different stages of life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/95
We're desperate to run away from old thoughts that make us feel bad, and I'm going to help you see if you're frantically trying to drive your brain in a new direction. Today, I'm showing you how you can give yourself a fighting chance to truly change your thoughts by squarely looking them in the eye.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/94
Discover how you might be subconsciously sabotaging whatever problem you're facing. I'm sharing why this is actually normal and how you can start to solve it for good. Working through this is truly one of the keys to unlocking the possibilities of your own life.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/93
I've got two tools that are seemingly straightforward in helping you break any of your ingrained numbing habits, but it's going to require lots of practice in order to use them to your advantage. Breaking habituated patterns takes effort because most of the time it's happening unconsciously, and it often makes us feel anxious when we act against our own will, which is why these tools are going to be challenging but life-changing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/92
Working on bringing awareness to compulsive behaviors means being able to enjoy these activities mindfully, without the end goal of numbing. I'm focusing on the distinction that exists, and why we feel the need to get a break from our feelings, which is totally normal. Stay tuned because next week, I'll be teaching you how to start changing these habits if you want to.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/91
This week, I'm addressing perfectionist fantasies and tomorrow thinking. I'm discussing how they work, why we indulge in them, and the consequences of staying stuck in this cycle. If there is any area of your life you're working to better or achieve something in and it isn't working, I can guarantee that this is probably the reason why. I urge you to listen to this episode closely, a few times over if necessary, to stop making plans you know you won't keep.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/90
This week, I'm helping you see why you're not getting as much done as you'd like and how to deal with the discomfort of having to actually practice focusing in your daily life.
If productivity and multitasking are things that are holding you back, this episode is for you. It's not going to be easy, but try out my tips for focusing today and I can guarantee your life is going to be transformed.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/89
Join me today as I give you a short and sweet episode on the behavior of complaining, and why it's so detrimental to you both physically and mentally. I challenge you to try out this diet and see if the results make a difference in your life!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/88
Join me as I unravel the concept of loneliness and give you some new ways of thinking about it that will help you see the bigger picture. There are areas of this particular feeling that we're apt to misinterpret, so hopefully, this episode gives you some insight into how you might just be thinking about it in an unhelpful way.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/87
Today, I'm digging into the idea of PTSD and something you may not have heard of before - post-traumatic growth. I'm giving you a clear description of what trauma actually is and how you can help yourself get through it. There are some really important key points I'm sharing today that will help you work towards emotional resiliency to change your experiences going forward.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/86
Trying to find the balance in dealing with a child, while setting boundaries and expectations can be tricky, especially because you can't control their behavior - even if you think you can. Join me this week as I outline the three key points to consider when setting boundaries with your kids so you can be a parent without all the emotional drama that comes along with being one!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/85
Dr. James Gills is a brilliant ocular surgeon who said, "I talk to myself more than I listen to myself," and when I heard this, it stopped me in my tracks. Most of us know that listening to others usually does us good, but we don't realize that we also often listen to what our brain tells us to think. Today, I want to shed some light on how you can start to talk to your brain in a proactive way that will positively change the discourse in your mind.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/84
As we try to change our results, we often try thinking new thoughts. I'm exposing why just thinking a new thought isn't going to have the same effect as truly believing it, and why this is crucial to grasp when you're working on your thought ladder.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/83
Listen in to uncover how you can set out to create positive emotion from scratch. Applying this concept is going to give you a more embodied experience of your emotions and strengthen the connection between your thoughts and feelings!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/82
Join me today, my chickens, as I teach you some tools and ways of thinking about pain and chronic illness, or acute illness. I have some great resources to share that may be able to help you reduce or eliminate the physical pain itself once you stop believing that it means something is going wrong.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/81
On today's episode, I break down why judgment is not serving you, especially as you embark on your thought work journey, and how practicing curiosity instead will open you to a much richer experience. The difference between judging your thoughts and having curiosity is a huge shift: curiosity doesn’t assume to know the answer. Curiosity doesn’t evaluate if something is good or bad. Curiosity doesn’t have an opinion. Curiosity pays attention.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/80
There is a downside to categorizing ourselves by personality tests and attachment styles. Before we learn to manage our thoughts and choose them on purpose, having a diagnostic of those thoughts can have a detrimental effect on our belief in our ability to change.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/79
Join me on this episode to discover how to start implementing the practice of truly allowing your negative feelings. Baby steps are crucial in working on your skeptical brain, and starting here is going to help you tremendously with your self-coaching.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/78
My goal of replacing my salary through coaching has shown me that even positive thoughts can keep you stuck, and plateaus can happen to all of us. Massive thinking is one of my biggest takeaways from this last year, and I'm exploring how up-leveling your current mindset has to happen at every stage of your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/77
On a previous episode, I talked about the distinction between positive and negative motivation and action, and the way we're taught that negative emotions lead to positive actions. Many of us think our anger will motivate us to take actions, believing this will change things, but I'm hoping to share some insight that will shed a little light on why this is a mistaken thought pattern.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/76
If you're confused or frustrated because the steps you're taking aren't working or getting you any closer to your goals, I'm giving you the answer today. Discover where you might be going wrong in your endeavors to get what you want. What I'm sharing today may seem obvious, but you'll be surprised when you slip back and catch yourself relying on actions alone to create your results.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/75
Tune in as I reflect on the biggest gifts podcasting has given me and how I've worked on them to create a successful seven-figure business!
Text your email (all lowercase) to 347-997-1784 and reply with "instagram" when prompted for the secret password to follow me on social media and get links to a couple of articles I wrote!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/74
Where you're most commonly going wrong in your thought work and why the answer to your questions never lies in simply choosing the right action to take.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/73
To help you on your path to becoming your best selves, I designed a workbook called Feel Better and Get Sh*t Done! Text your email address to 347-997-1784 and then text "feelbetter" when it prompts you for the secret password.
I'm taking a slightly different route on the podcast this week, bringing you a metaphor that is going to act as an amazing tool for your thought work. Today, I'm using neuroscience to demonstrate the real power of your brain and why confirmation bias exists.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/72
Text your email address to 347-997-1784 for a worksheet that you can use to help adjust the prescription on your skepticals. Reply with "skeptical" (all lowercase).
Get a copy of my recommended reading list by texting your e-mail address to 347-997-1784. You'll get a text back asking for the secret password, which is "reading" (use all lowercase!)
I see so many erroneous beliefs around the feeling of love and I'm going to clear them up on today's episode. What I'm uncovering on this podcast may be a little unsettling at first, but will really set you free in your relationships with others, whether they are someone you love so much you couldn't bear to lose them or someone you hate and never want to see again.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/71
Get a copy of my recommended reading list by texting your e-mail address to 347-997-1784. You'll get a text back asking for the secret password, which is "reading" (use all lowercase!)
Discover the difference between clean and dirty pain, and how embracing this concept can diminish so much unnecessary suffering in your life. Emotional pain and misery are bound to come up, but this tool is going to help you flow through it with less resistance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/70
On this episode, we’re covering topics of dealing with unsolicited advice from others, what to do when you’re someone who’s being “rude,” and body image issues.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfckyourbrain.com/69
Join me today as I break down the three elements of a regret thought pattern and share how you can start feeling better today by changing your thoughts. You don't have to change what happened in the past. You only need to change how you think about it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/68
You don't have to change your negative thoughts right away - it's okay to sit with them for a bit. I like to call this the Struggle Bus. You might be struggling with some negative emotion, but you're still moving forward. You're still showing up to do everything you need to do.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/67
On this episode, we’re diving into topics like addressing things that are outside of our control, social anxiety and insecurities, meeting your own needs, the five love languages, applying thought work to physical pain, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://unfckyourbrain.com/66
Join me this week as I answer questions about what I think about antidepressants and other medications, dealing with Trump supporters, boundary violations, thought work around “toxic” family members, people pleasing, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/65
Join me this week to learn how to believe new things harder. I share the three mistakes I see in thought work when people are not believing hard enough and how to get past them. Believing new things on purpose is work. It's going to feel like work. That's the good news. Because the good news is if it feels terrible sometimes, you're doing it right.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/64
Tune in this week as I talk about dealing with your past regrets, body image, speaking your truth, mending (or not) relationships, dealing with recurring thoughts, and much more!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/63
Let’s start this year off with a chat about self care as many of us will be making resolutions to take better “care” of ourselves... and then falling back into old habits 3 weeks later. Join me today as I break down what self care really is and why managing our minds is the ultimate self care practice.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/62
Tune in this week as I answer questions on the topics of managing “toxic” family members around your kids, thought management around physical touch, controlling your mind around uncontrollable circumstances, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/61
In this episode, I talk about the differences between jealousy and envy and how they relate to other emotions. They both hinge on the thought that you need something external - money, a certain job, a romantic partner, a friend - to be happy and that you will be unhappy without it. Join me today to hear why confidence alone won't solve issues with jealousy.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/60
Join me this week as I answer questions on the topics of self-love, people with intuitively-managed minds, changing go-to thoughts, finding love, dreaming about your problems, and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/59
Understanding FOMO and taking the steps to work through your thoughts around your current or future circumstances can make a tremendous difference in the level of happiness and fun you’re allowing yourself to have in any given moment. Listen in to hear how!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/58
Listen in as we explore topics like handling criticism and feedback, intuition vs bad thoughts, managing intrusive thoughts, the struggle between choosing comfort vs growth, and more!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/57
Join me today for a tough look at how so many of us are letting our fears of shame and rejection keep us from putting ourselves out there enough to reach our goals. I can't tell you how many "no"s you need to hear but I can say that every no gets you closer to the "yes" you want and the only thing holding you back is your unwillingness to hear the no.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/56
A lot of us are paranoid about what other people think about us, especially in social situations. But just because your mental default is to worry about other people's opinions about you, doesn't make this a permanent state of mind.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/55
Join me as we get into topics like managing your mind under the influence of alcohol, mind over matter, cultivating confidence, managing thoughts of resentment, being around people with different religious beliefs than your own and more!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/54
This week, we have another installment of the Listener Q & As. In this episode, we dive into topics such as dealing with overwhelm, empathy vs compassion, fortune-telling, teaching thought work to young kids, relationships, boundaries, and more!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/53
On this episode, we take a deep dive into the topic of trust and explore the common misconceptions about it that are holding you back. After listening to this episode, I’d like for you to get curious about what trust really means for you and whether it’s necessary to have it for others at all.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/52
This week, I am back with another round of questions from all of you and my tough-love answers. Today, we’re digging into a number of topics such as dealing with ‘problem’ coworkers, letting go of shame around past mistakes, feeling more lovable, and helping others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/51
Today, I want to teach you more in-depth about people-pleasing and why I think we should stop using that terminology. Join me today for People-Pleasing 2.0 and discover how this behavior sabotages your authenticity and perpetuates dishonest relationships. Plus, I share a couple of steps to ending this deceptive cycle. Awareness is key, my chickens. Notice your thoughts and you can change them!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/50
In this episode, I’ll talk about the assumptions most of us make about friendship and discuss why it’s important to refresh how you think about your friends. Listen in as I reveal how you might be blocking yourself from fully enjoying your friendships – then I’ll tell you what you can do to flip this script and appreciate the many friendships the world can offer you if you just know where to look.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/49
Join me this week as I answer more of your questions that you sent in via email, Facebook, and Instagram on a variety of topics ranging from boundaries, relying on external validation, cultivating self-confidence, family and relationship issues and more.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/48
This week, I explain what a boundary is and why everything that you have previously known about boundaries is most likely wrong (or at least highly unhelpful). Join me as I show you what a boundary is not and how to tell if you’re ready to set a boundary and how to do it in a way that serves you and your emotional state.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/47
After the last listener Q & A episode, I got a lot of great feedback from you guys and have since received a ton of new questions. Today, I am answering more of your questions that you sent in via email, Facebook, and Instagram on a variety of topics ranging from relationship advice and workplace issues to my morning and nighttime routines.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/46
Constraint is one of the mind management tools that has had a huge impact on my ability to achieve ambitious goals, and quickly and exponentially grow my business and podcast. And on this episode, I am excited to show you how you can properly use constraint in your life to create more time, hit big milestones, and level up any area of your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/45
This week, I want to talk to you about the concept of catastrophizing, or imagining all the possible future negative scenarios that could happen and emotionally reacting as if they were real. We take a look at why we do this and how it impacts the results we have in our life. I share three simple but powerful tools that will help you kick your catastrophizing habit to the curb.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/44
On this episode, we take a look at why restricting yourself from having or doing something that you want – whether it’s food, alcohol, or spending – does not work. Join me as I show you how to change your thinking from restriction mode to the type of thinking that will help you achieve the positive results you desire in all areas of your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/43
I get a lot of emails, Facebook, and Instagram messages from you guys. And although I love to hear from all of you, due to the sheer volume of these messages, I can’t respond to all of them directly. So today, I’m answering some of your questions and exploring the topics that you’d like to get coached on. For this episode, I’ve chosen questions and topics that many of you struggle with and I think all of you will learn from.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/42
On this episode, we take a look at the reality behind drama and who really causes it in your life. I explain why you should actually consider spending more time with people who you think affect your vibe and show you exactly what you need to do to totally escape drama and toxic people with only a small change.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/41
A bonus interview with Jami.
If you find this bonus episode helpful and you’d like to achieve similar results to my clients’, visit https://unfckyourbrain.com/the-society to learn more.
Are you usually emotionally exhausted by the end of the day? Do you obsess over whether other people are upset with you (even if there’s no actual evidence to support it)? If you can relate to any of the above, it’s a sign that you don’t have appropriate boundaries and you don’t have emotional resilience. Discover whether you’re emotionally reactive to what’s going on around you and how it may be affecting your day-to-day.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/40
I believe that most people misunderstand what potential is and what it actually means. This is a deep topic that has a lot of ramifications for how we think about the past and the future and what we can achieve in our lives. Listen in as we take a look at the difference between being past-focused and future-focused and how each approach affects the results you see in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/39
You probably already accept the idea that not all of your thoughts are true. With that in mind, what should you believe? On this episode, I explain why no one can tell you want to think and share a quite counterintuitive framework for evaluating thoughts and deciding whether you want to believe them. I then show you how you can come up with your own new helpful thoughts that are in line with your goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/38
Listen in as we take a look at three thought errors that are running in the back of your mind, holding you back from working on your emotional health and making progress. Join me as I show you how you can make a few simple mindset shifts that will deeply enrich not only your life but the lives of those around you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/37
A couple of weeks ago, we talked about perfectionism and how so many of us love to make unrealistic plans and never keep them or see them through to the end. This week, I want to take a deeper dive into the topic of perfectionism – the insidious trait that many smart people suffer from – and look at two powerful tools for managing it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/36
On this episode, I want to talk about why you should consider welcoming negative emotions that come up in your life and how this practice can help you live a rich and fulfilled life. Join me to discover how to develop a better relationship with yourself and enjoy a well-balanced human experience.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/35
So many of us go through life without really making decisions for ourselves or understanding the decisions we made. Then one day, we wake up and find ourselves surprised at how we got to where we are, not sure if we even wanted it for ourselves. So how do you break that cycle of living by someone else’s rulebook and getting the results you don’t want in your life?
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/34
I often see many of my clients trying to use a gratitude practice against themselves in a way that can be quite harmful to their mental health. In this episode, I want to talk to you about how to tell if you’re misusing gratitude or maybe even using it as a weapon against yourself. Join me to discover what you can do to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking about gratitude in a way that serves you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/33
This week, I want to teach you one of the best tools that I learned from my coach – the power of asking better questions. Join me as I explain how asking dead-end questions is affecting your brain and show you how to ask questions that stimulate your brain to find answers that will move you toward goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/32
On this episode, I talk about how your reaction to other people’s gender-based discrimination may be impacting your emotional state and creating unnecessary suffering and drama in your mind. I explain how judging, resisting or resenting others for their thoughts actually keeps you stuck in the constant loop of judging yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/31
Download the Confidence Cheat Sheet. It's totally free! https://www.unfckyourbrain.com/podcastconfidence
On this episode, I explain why, no matter what ideologies you internalized over the years, you DO NOT have to earn pleasure and you’re 100% entitled to it. We also take a look at the important distinction between real and false pleasure and why neither should be a solution to any of your emotional problems.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/30
Download the Confidence Cheat Sheet. It's totally free! https://www.unfckyourbrain.com/podcastconfidence
This week, I decided to give you a behind-the-scenes look at my annual review and share the important lessons that I learned along the way. Join me to hear 5 most important things that I've learned from going through the process of growing my business 5x times and find out how you can apply these lessons in your own life and business/career.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/29
On this episode, I want to explore why, contrary to the popular belief, being a leader is not about an attachment to a certain outcome and dependent on controlling others. Join me as I share what you need to do to become a great leader who is able to inspire and advocate for her ideas effectively.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/28
A bonus interview with Shira.
If you find this bonus episode helpful and you’d like to achieve similar results to my clients’, visit https://unfckyourbrain.com/the-society to learn more.
In this episode, we explore what it really means to be busy and why we choose to inflict busyness on ourselves. We take a look at the two forms of the “I’m so busy” that we use in our daily lives and why both of them are highly unhelpful. Tune in to find out how you can stop using “busy” as a way to stress yourself out and find out how to never feel too busy to make real progress on your important projects and initiatives.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/27
A bonus interview with Nancy.
If you find this bonus episode helpful and you’d like to achieve similar results to my clients’, visit https://unfckyourbrain.com/the-society to learn more.
Today, I want to give you a sense of what the deeper, second level teachings that we do in the UnF*ckYour Brain program look like and teach you an advanced level topic - taking responsibility for other people’s feelings (Emotional Adulthood 2.0). We take a look at how your prior programming is causing you to feel responsible for how other people feel and act, and why it is actually not a loving thing to do.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/26
Today, I'm going doing something a little bit different. As our flock grows, I know that some of you may not know much about me or my story - where I came from. So today I'm going to share with you a little bit about me. I'm sharing this with you so that you can see that where you are now, the heaviness you feel, the pressure, does not have to be your future reality.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/my-story-2
On this episode, we take another look at the real reason why, when presented with two or more choices, we often get paralyzed, unable to make a decision. From the questions you need to ask yourself to help you make a decision, to how to deal with the doubt, fear and regret, you’ll learn how to be a more decisive person, able to love the result of whatever decision you make.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/25
On this episode, we dive into the reasons why confusion is an indulgent emotion and why you actually like to stay confused. We also explore exactly where confusion comes from and why there’s no such thing as a right or wrong decision. I'm sharing a step-by-step process you can start using today to begin relieving confusion about anything in your life to make uncertainty, indecision, and fear a thing of the past.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/24
We are taught as children, that our parents are supposed to meet our needs – emotional and material. When we grow up, we are “supposed to” substitute other people, like friends and romantic partners, for our parents, who should also meet our needs.
On this episode the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast, I explain why this type of reasoning is insane and teach you one of my favorite tools for revolutionizing your love life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/23
On this episode, I want to talk to you about what actually creates lasting transformation. It’s an integral step in the process of unf*cking your brain that many of you miss simply because you’ve never been taught how to do it. Are you ready to see what you’re really capable of accomplishing?
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/22
This week on the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast, we’re doing something bit different. On this episode, I want to teach you through a 2-way conversation – a 20-minute coaching call with your fellow listener, totally live an unscripted – on the topic of dealing with a difficult person in her work life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/21
This week's episode of Unf*ck Your Brain is going to blow your mind. I'm talking about something all of us experience that can be extremely detrimental to our well-being if left unnoticed and unmanaged but, once we understand it and learn to use it to our benefit, can also set us free! That concept is confirmation bias.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/20
Compare and Despair Follow-Up with Stacey Smith
Sign up for a free five-day confidence challenge at www.unfckyourbrain.com/confidencechallenge
Today on Unf*ck Your Brain, I'm talking about something I know all of you have felt at one time or another. In fact, it is such a universal part of the human condition, it has been called the "most human emotion" and that is shame. Learn how to question your shame and start building the skills to remove it from your life completely.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/19
This week, I want to teach you one of my favorite coaching tools for achieving tremendous results in any part of your life – taking massive action. Join me as I explain how this simple, yet powerful, tool can help you change your relationship with failure, eliminate doubt and fear, and allow you to get exactly what you want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/18
Tune in to get your mind blow as I share my own personality theory that will challenge everything you think you know about the "type" of person you are... beginning with the question, "What if you don't have a personality at all?"
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/17
I know the topic of self-love feels a little confrontational for a lot of you, but I want you to stick with me today as I share how it's possible for you to see all of your best qualities, be compassionate about your shortcomings, and feel amazing about yourself... without becoming a delusional narcissist. So pop in those earbuds and get ready to learn how to love yo' self (no positive affirmations required) and get shit done!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/16
On this episode of Unf*ck Your Brain, I want to talk about why we constantly compare ourselves to others - even though it makes us feel bad - and the role two major societal systems have in perpetuating the issue, especially for women. Join me as I explain why constantly comparing yourself to others is a problem and how you can learn to stop.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/15
On this episode, I want to dig into the reasons why we have a poor relationship with money and share my personal story of how I shifted my money beliefs through coaching. Join me as I share the most important money mind shifts that you can implement to become more successful in your business and your career.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/14
Until the last couple of years, I hated having my photos taken, no matter where they were shot, what I was wearing, or how I looked. All I saw in them were my flaws: my frizzy hair, double chin, belly rolls my height… you name it. The self-criticism was endless, and the family events and online dating were a nightmare.
After using some of the tools that I will share with you on today’s episode, I am now able to genuinely see myself as photogenic without lying to myself. Join me as I share my favorite brain hacks for learning to love how you look in photos (as well as real life) and transform your life forever.
Make sure to download the free Love Any Photo of Yourself Workbook to help you with this process!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/13
On this episode of UnF*ck Your Brain, we take a look at why our brain is so good at remembering and focusing on negative outcomes and not so great at conjuring up good ones and how that affects our mind chatter. Discover how you can begin rewiring your brain out of the deeply ingrained habit of focusing on the negative to focus more on the thoughts that serve you and move you closer to where you want to go.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/12
On today’s episode, I break down what stress really is and why it is not necessary despite the conditioning of society that says that stress is good for productivity, that it drives us, that it’s fuel for achieving greatness. Discover what your life could be and how you can open up space for intrinsic motivation by changing your thoughts about what role stress plays in your success.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfckyourbrain.com/11
On this episode, we explore two powerful tools for keeping your commitments and reaching any goal happen 100% of the time. We also take a look at how choice overwhelm and decision fatigue hold us back and dive into the strategy that will help you achieve success in the new year and beyond.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://bit.ly/2CaBIvK
In this short but important episode, I explain the immense benefits of investing in your mental and emotional health, why it's a feminist issue, and why you can’t afford not to begin this work in 2018.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://bit.ly/2D4q2Lj
Today, I want to talk to you about settling – what it’s all about, why you do it, and the harmful effects of settling. Listen in to discover why you should consider putting an end to your stagnation and scarcity thinking and how you can stop settling and start living a full, extraordinary life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/8
No matter what your body looks like it IS possible to feel great with no clothes on; and on this episode, I explain exactly how you can get to that place.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/7
Today, we're talking about how you can get more things done in a given time and avoid unnecessary anxiety in the process. We also take a look at the reasons why you’re not getting as much done as you want or need to.
Join us as I explain how you can create a clear system and organize your work and personal life to have more time, save mental energy, and eliminate overwhelm.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/6
Today, we’re talking about how to survive family time during the stressful holiday season. Join me on this episode as I share a powerful strategy to help you prepare for family time, skip the drama, and actually enjoy your holidays.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/5
This week, we're talking about how our society and upbringing has affected our subconscious (and conscious) thinking to constantly engage in people pleasing. Join us as I explain why we often choose to prioritize others’ wants and needs over our own and the detrimental effects this has on our personal and professional lives.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://bit.ly/2AKodlm
To sign up for the upcoming free webinar, "The Four MindF*cks of Patriarchy," visit https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/webinar
On this episode, we take a look at how most of us try to “fix” our lack of confidence and examine why trying to accomplish something external will never solve this issue. Join us as I explain how self-confidence really works and how you can begin creating it in your own life.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://bit.ly/2A1Oxu7
In this episode, we take a deep dive into the topic of Imposter Syndrome and examine the roots of this damaging thought pattern.
Join us for an exploration of how Imposter Syndrome is holding you back in your career and personal life and discover tips and strategies for overcoming this feeling and fear that you’ll be “found out” to be undeserving or unqualified, or revealed as a fraud.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://bit.ly/2htgaBh
On this episode, we explore the process that causes the disconnect between our beliefs and actions, and exactly why you feel bad about it. Listen in as I share a step-by-step process to help you stop feeling like a “bad feminist” and actually practice what you believe in without anything holding you back.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/1
In this episode, I decided to share my story because I think many of you will identify with it and find it helpful to hear how I used coaching to change my own life. Join me to discover how I was able to apply coaching to my own life to help close the gap between intellectually understanding the feminist principles and actually living them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/my-story/
On this episode, I want to talk to you about the two main reasons why we neglect advocating for ourselves in our work and personal life. We explore how your self-talk holds you back and how following internalized conditioning, and then criticizing yourself for doing so, creates a limiting force in all areas of your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/self-talk-soundtrack/
Today, I explain the importance of not taking things personally and I prove to you that what other people choose to do means absolutely NOTHING about you. Tune in to find out what you can start doing today to stop taking someone else’s actions personally and dramatically improve your romantic and professional life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/not-about-you/
On this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into the topic of guilt – what creates it, what to do about it, and what you might want to consider feeling instead. Join me to find out what small change you can make today to counter feelings of guilt, stop being a victim and become a powerful actor in your own life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/guilt/
Today, we’re talking about healthy habits and why they are so difficult to keep up in a high-stress work environment. From managing your all-or-nothing thinking to building a better relationship with your body, you’ll find out everything you need to know to begin building new habits that alight with your goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/healthy-habits/
I invited Heather Hubbard to the show to share what she’s learned in her legal career and how she implements that into her coaching practice. In this episode, we explore the concept of staying in the flow of life and why it’s absolutely necessary in our daily lawyer hustle.
From the importance of meditation to Heather’s tips for making partner without going crazy, you’ll get a good understanding of what you can begin doing today to lead a balanced life as a lawyer.
Get full show note and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/flow-heather-hubbard/
Today, I’m talking about the core of everything I teach – the importance of thinking new thoughts. I explain why simply thinking positive doesn’t work for most people and share a powerful tool that I use in my coaching for adopting new thinking. Join me to find out exactly what you need to do in order to make those new thoughts more believable and how you can create routines that will actually help you make lasting changes.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/thought-ladder/
This week’s episode is a short but important message to help you work through your fear and take the risks you want to take in life. Tune in to find out why your fear IS NOT a true reflection of any “danger” that might be happening to you at the moment and how you can coach yourself to believe that.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/fear/
On this episode of The Lawyer Stress Solution, we’re taking a look at why lawyers are so sensitive to rejection and why it hurts so much. I explain what rejection really is and what you can do to lessen its impact. Listen in to find out how you can begin rewiring your brain to stop always looking for rejection and instead create feelings of security, safety, and stability.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/rejection/
In this episode of The Lawyer Stress Solution, we’re talking about the mental aspects of improved productivity such as anxiety, cultivating productive thoughts, and reducing shame around the subject. I also teach you what you can begin practicing in your own daily life to help you be more productive.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/productivity/
August is finally here, the time of year when a lot of people go on vacation. Inspired by all the travelers in my life, I decided to dedicate this week’s episode to taking how to take time off from work... without constantly worrying and checking your email.
Learn why you really resist taking time off from work and what you can do in order to enjoy any time off.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/enjoy-weekends-vacation/
This week, I’m sharing advice on how you can advocate for more professional development, get more opportunities, and take your career to the next level.
Join us to find out why so many lawyers have a problem standing up for themselves when it comes to career-advancing opportunities and why you’re really the only person who can advocate for your own professional development.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/professional-development/
n this episode, I explain what actually contributes to substance use and abuse and how you can solve those problems without using *or* quitting your job. If you’re using substances more often than you would like and you want to better understand why you use and how to cut back, this podcast is for you.
Tune in to find out how you can break your habit of using and abusing substances and better manage your urges to use. Discover three things that you can start practicing today to reduce your desire to use alcohol or other substances and create lasting change in your life and career.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/substance-use-abuse/
On this episode, we explore what makes you avoid tasks and how to change that habit. Join us on the show as I lay out a step-by-step process that will help you deal with any task you’re avoiding and finally get it done!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/avoidance/
On this episode, we look at a couple of different things that you may think would make you a better lawyer and why they don’t actually matter. I also reveal what truly DOES make a difference to your performance, and three primary ways that practicing this skill will make you a better lawyer.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/better-lawyer/
It’s the beginning of July, and that means one thing for a lot of you – mid-year reviews.
Today, we delve into the outcomes of mid-year reviews and why they bring up so much anxiety about your performance and career. Tune in to discover a step-by-step process for successfully navigating your performance review and find out how you can use this information to take your practice to the next level. No meltdown required.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://thelawyerstresssolution.com/midyearreview
There’s a specific set of reasons why lawyers are anxious. On this episode, I go through these reasons and explain why your lawyer brain works the way it does and why knowing this is important if you want to reduce your stress level and get better at your job.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/why-are-lawyers-anxious/
This week, we look into the intricacies of perfectionism and examine the reasons why it is so common among lawyers, especially ones who are already self-critical. I explain where perfectionism comes from, how it affects all areas of our life, and why it never works. I also share my coaching strategies for overcoming it and starting to be able to accept yourself where you are.
Get full show notes and more information here: http://bit.ly/2stXkBc
This week on The Lawyer Stress Solution, we’re delving into the ins and outs of working with difficult clients. Join us as I talk about two different ways that difficult clients can cause stress, and share actionable tools and strategies to help you manage both your clients and your own brain better.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/difficult-clients/
On this episode of The Lawyer Stress Solution, I’m excited to talk about one of my favorite topics – the way that thinking and talking like a lawyer impacts your personal relationships outside of work to a less-than-desirable outcome. I explain how you can keep your lawyer brain at bay and stop defaulting to being on either attack or defense at all times when communicating with others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/treating-conversation-like-cross-examination/
As lawyers, we’re no strangers to feeling overwhelmed by our workload and doing our best to balance it with our social, family, and personal lives.
In this episode, I share my process for managing overwhelm, calming yourself down quickly, and setting yourself up for success.
Get full show notes, resources, and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/overcoming-overwhelm/
On this episode of The Lawyer Stress Solution, we explore the main reasons why dealing with difficult bosses is a common complaint for lawyers. I’m also excited to teach you one of my favorite tools, called “The Manual.” It is an incredibly powerful tool that will help you change how you feel about any supervisory relationship in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/how-to-deal-with-a-difficult-partner/
On this episode, we delve into two different levels of working with anxiety – the physical sensation in your body and the thoughts that are causing that feeling. Tune in as I share a two-part “chill pill” for relieving anxiety immediately, an exercise that will help to calm your physical sensations and a practice that will allow you to explore your thoughts and eliminate worry quickly.
Get full show notes and get more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/how-to-relieve-anxiety/
On this episode, we’re diving into a subject familiar to many lawyers: Procrastination!
Join me for this episode as I explain how procrastination works, why we procrastinate (it’s not why you think), and how we can rid ourselves of this stressful habit and become better and happier lawyers in the process!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://thelawyerstresssolution.com/how-to-stop-procrastinating/
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.