418 avsnitt • Längd: 50 min • Månadsvis
Forrest Hanson is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and a world-class group of experts to explore the practical science of lasting well-being. Conversations focus on the key insights from psychology, science, and contemplative practice that you need to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life. New episodes every Monday.
The podcast Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson is created by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore emotional immaturity, the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature caregivers, and what we can do to change those patterns in adulthood. They discuss the key signs of emotional immaturity, including egocentrism, low empathy, and affective realism. Dr. Gibson then shares how having an emotionally immature parent affects children, often by leading to emotional disconnection and people-pleasing, and the consequences of these patterns in adult life. Topics include the problems with “just be more compassionate,” estrangement, balancing competing desires, and how to heal in adulthood by reconnecting with your feelings, letting go of old fantasies, and setting healthy boundaries.
About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of the Emotional Immaturity series of books, including her bestseller Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: How Dr. Gibson defines emotional immaturity
6:45: Markers of emotional immaturity in parents
11:05: Emotional intelligence in children, loneliness, and regulating parents
19:05: The arc of recovery, responding to feelings with thoughts, and healthy guidance
31:00: Repeating patterns in relationships
36:15: Letting go of the healing fantasy, and when to take space
42:45: Estrangement, compassion, boundary setting, and becoming more authentic
58:45: When healthy change creates social pressure
1:01:55: Common misconceptions about emotional immaturity
1:06:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change.
Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don’t-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: What is self-concept?
8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations
13:30: ‘I’ vs. ‘me’, and feeling misunderstood
16:55: Carl Rogers’ framework of self-concept and congruence
24:20: Common tropes for defending identity
30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self
34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs
40:35: Don’t-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good
47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self
53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust
56:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.
Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
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Forrest and Dr. Rick explore one of his most powerful psychological tools: linking. Over time, linking can help us rewire the brain, softening the impact of painful memories. They discuss the neuroscience behind this process, the role of memory reconsolidation, and the importance of matching positive experiences to our original pains. Rick shares personal examples, practical tips, and a few important cautions so you can apply this technique safely. This is a grounded, hands-on episode focused on one of his most high-impact ideas.
Warning: There is a brief mention of SA toward the end of the episode.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What is linking?
5:30: The relationship between linking and memory, and coherence therapy
12:20: The challenges with linking, and making the positive stronger than the negative
20:40: How to practice linking
31:00: How to disentangle our adult selves from our ‘parts’
39:30: The “erasure protocol”
53:15: How long it takes for linking to help, and key questions to ask yourself
1:02:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.
Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh?
13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap?
20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker?
33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety?
41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart?
49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well?
56:00: Recap
Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In one of my favorite conversations, bestselling author David Epstein joins the podcast to explore how to find your path in life, the problem with 10,000 hours, and why generalists triumph in a specialized world. David and I discuss why sampling different paths before specializing tends to lead to more fulfillment. David explains why feeling "behind" is actually normal for successful people who take non-linear paths, and how "fit looks like grit" when you find something that genuinely connects with your strengths and interests. We then detail how to identify good fits, a practical process for getting good at almost anything, and what helps create a breakthrough moment.
About our Guest: David Epstein is a bestselling author, science writer, and investigative reporter known for challenging conventional wisdom about peak performance. His books include Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World and The Sports Gene.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and summary of David’s work
1:25: The benefits of generalism and an unusual background
4:15: Feeling behind, and David vs. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours
11:40: Curiosity, transferable skills, and comfort with failure
21:40: Problems with specialization, and the value of consistent learning
27:10: Beginner’s mind and the eight lane highway
31:35: Finding what you want to do, and the value of constraint
41:35: Doing what’s in front of you, and Frances Hesselbein
45:55: How to actually get good at something
54:20: More on getting comfortable with failure
1:00:10: Autonomy, flow, and just picking something
1:04:00: What creates the “breakthrough moment”?
1:11:30: Recap
Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Self-awareness is a good thing…right? In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore how we can stop overthinking and break the self-awareness trap: when knowing ourselves becomes an obstacle to change. They discuss the difference between reflection and rumination, the pitfalls of being "an expert on yourself," and why overthinking is often an avoidance mechanism disguised as problem-solving. Dr. Rick shares practical strategies for managing attention, setting boundaries around decisions, and cultivating an experimental mindset.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: When self-awareness gets in the way
8:15: Rumination vs. reflection
13:25: Developing passion for the ‘useful truth’, and working with obsession
16:45: Beginner’s mind and self-concept
25:15: The 90/10 approach to overthinking
31:15: Seeing what’s liberating, naming what’s important, seeing your full self
35:05: Managing your attention, and self-trust
42:00: Thinking vs. taking useful action
50:35: Letting yourself experiment
54:00: Self-acceptance, and having a spirit of openness
58:10: Avoiding the unknown
1:00:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
There’s never been more information out there about psychology, self-improvement, and mental health, making it easy to get lost in the details and lose sight of what matters. In this special episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick apply the 90/10 rule to psychology and self-help: what are the small handful of things that tend to make the biggest difference for people?
You’ll learn why most self-help advice should probably be ignored, how to simplify your approach to happiness and personal growth, and what actually moves the needle when it comes to feeling better, getting unstuck, and building a fulfilling life.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Putting the big rocks in first
8:40: Root factors of well-being
15:15: Satisfaction, and what helps us rest easy
26:05: Avoidance, and responding to our own objections
32:35: Finding what matters to you, spirituality, and creative expression
36:25: Small, consistent action
39:50: Relationships and the power of repair
43:00: Stress, self-regulation, and creating space around your thoughts
48:55: Identifying your broken link, and the role of integrity
53:30: Allostatic load, and acknowledging when you’ve done your best
1:00:00: Being on your own side, pursuit mindset, and benefiting others
1:03:40: Self-concept, and joining the defense
1:06:00: Bottom up regulation, and taking one thing at a time
1:10:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can improve focus and fix our attention spans in a world that is constantly trying to distract us. They discuss common reasons it’s hard to focus and three key interventions that can help most people. Rick teaches approaches from mindfulness practice, and Forrest explains how we can improve focus motivation and distress tolerance. Topics include ADHD, the role of dopamine, expanding the “Goldilocks Zone,” the practice of doing hard things, and how we can become less reliant on willpower.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
5:25: Three key areas where we seek focus
9:10: Self-belief and inner turmoil
14:10: Three factors for sustaining focus
20:50: The goldilocks zone, physical health, and emotional preoccupation
24:40: Difficulties with meditation and mindfulness
32:40: Willpower vs. motivation
40:20: Quieting the mind
41:25: Decreasing the reward value of our distractions
48:35: Being present with others
54:05: ‘Going wide’, self-compassion, and other tactics for completing tasks
1:02:10: Choice and rumination
1:06:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, one of the world’s leading experts on narcissism and narcissistic abuse, joins Forrest to help us learn how to understand, identify, and recover from relationships with narcissistic people. They start by discussing the traits associated with narcissism, the spectrum of narcissistic behaviors, and Dr. Ramani’s critiques of the NPD diagnosis. They then talk about different kinds of narcissism and why narcissists can be difficult to identify before moving on to the issues with narcissism in relationships. Dr. Ramani explains the general pattern narcissism follows, what narcissistic abuse looks like in practice, and what we can do to become more "narcissist resistant.”
About our Guest: Dr. Ramani is a clinical psychologist, professor emeritus at California State University, Los Angeles, and the author of a number of books including her most recent It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, and The New York Times. She also offers an online program for survivors of narcissistic abuse.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Defining the variety of narcissistic personality styles
9:40: Narcissism as a tactic for external validation
13:00: Narcissistic supplies, personality style, and diagnosable conditions
24:45: The appeal of narcissistic traits, and their effect on specific relationships
33:25: Getting stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, and devaluation
42:45: Manipulation, gaslighting, and discerning what’s real
52:35: Becoming narcissist resistant
1:00:45: Nervous system responses
1:03:25: Covert narcissism and seeing your own traits
1:06:45: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners, many of which focused on anxiety experiences. They start by discussing “dreaded experiences,” and how we can respond when our worst fears come true. Rick then shares how we can respond effectively to feedback, before answering a short question about taking in the good. Forrest and Rick then answer three questions related to different kinds of anxiety: social anxiety, managing different levels of concern in a relationship, and anxiety brought on by slowing down.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: How do you handle situations where you really fear something, and then it actually happens?
10:45: How can I become more receptive to feedback, and respond with less defensiveness?
19:00: How long do I need to “take in the good” for?
22:55: How can I work with my anxious parts when navigating social anxiety?
29:20: How can I support a partner who experiences a lot of anxiety?
40:40: Why am I struggling so hard with mindfulness meditation?
48:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this special episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become more self-reliant, and learn to trust ourselves. This helps us be resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and it’s a key resource for people who tend to abandon their wants and needs. They start by discussing why some people struggle with self-trust, the difference between inside-out and outside-in safety, and changing the model we have of ourselves. Forrest introduces a framework for developing self-trust based on self-efficacy, flexibility, self-advocacy, and accurate appraisal, and Rick applies this to how we can build self-worth and feel strong and capable.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: Why some people have an easier time trusting themselves than others
4:30: An outside-in vs, inside-out sense of safety, and feeling reliable
9:50: Welcoming positive feedback, and psychological flexibility
14:10: Sticking up for yourself
19:55: Stabilizing yourself when feeling helpless
25:00: Evaluating internal stories, and living moment to moment
30:15: Feeling like someone who matters, and feeling seen by others
35:00: Three aspects of self-regulation, and self-appraisal
41:35: Object relations, and focusing attention on your inner world
48:55: Seeing yourself as the creator of your world, and authenticity
55:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this special episode, Forrest focuses on the key lessons from 400 episodes of Being Well, giving you a crash course in personal growth and development. If you’re just getting into the show, or are looking for a good episode to share with people who are new to this kind of content, this is a great place to start.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: Change is possible, but change is hard
3:00: Focus on what you can control
4:30: The consistency principle
6:05: Punishing ourselves is a losing strategy
7:45: What are you pursuing?
9:30: The negativity bias
11:40: Why you don't have self-worth
13:40: Change the beliefs you have about yourself
17:05: Forming a coherent narrative
19:50: Set reasonable expectations
22:45: The middle path
24:30: Homeostasis and social pressure
26:30: How to get good at anything
27:45: Willpower, and avoiding willpower
28:25: Don’t know mind
31:25: The trap of self-awareness
32:35: Risking disappointment
34:10: The function of our bad habits
36:00: Look for those who support you
37:15: Changing our models of relationship
40:00: Authenticity
41:50: Embrace good conflict
44:40: Contempt
46:20: Start by joining
48:40: Experiencing out
49:55: Joining with the defense
51:15: Moving toward to move away
52:40: Learning to trust yourself
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of life's most challenging but essential skills - letting go. Whether you're trying to break free from repetitive thoughts, move on from a relationship, or change an old pattern of behavior, this episode will help you learn how to release what no longer serves you.
They start by exploring why letting go is so difficult, the nature of the brain and how it gets in our way, and how to start opening up to a new way of being. They then discuss different practical approaches to letting go, how to work with the feeling of “giving up,” and staying on your own side when facing resistance.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:05: Rumination and the comfort of familiarity
7:00: Allowing for shifts in identity
14:25: An example of working with a pattern
29:40: Being on your own side when you feel resistance from others
34:45: Letting go vs. giving up, and orienting toward our own fulfillment
43:35: The destabilization phase, and learning about yourself
51:05: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Attachment wounds are emotional injuries that develop based on painful experiences with those we care about. These experiences create a kind of blueprint we carry around for how relationships work, and when that internal model is based on fear and pain, it's hard for our relationships to thrive. Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to help us understand how we can heal old wounds and develop more secure forms of relating.
Elizabeth and Forrest explore how early experiences shape our relationships, with a particular focus on a common paradox: deeply wanting connection while simultaneously fearing intimacy. They discuss fearful attachment, how Elizabeth approaches working with attachment wounds in clinical practice, complex PTSD, self-abandonment, facing our dreaded experience, setting healthy boundaries, and navigating relationships where fearful attachment patterns are present.
About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Elizabeth’s personal experience of fearful attachment
7:40: Working with a therapist to heal attachment
11:55: Elizabeth’s experience learning to create boundaries
21:35: Internal Family Systems, and how to dialog with our parts
27:15: Working with our protective part, and self-criticism
31:00: Dialoguing with our inner child without a therapist
38:15: Healthy anger, grief, and patience
42:25: What helped Elizabeth be vulnerable in relating to Forrest
53:10: Disorganized moments, identifying needs, and taking in the good
1:00:20: Intent, impact, and reasonable limits
1:05:20: Becoming your own secure attachment figure, and healing in community
1:09:10: Recap
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Dr. Rick and Forrest begin the mailbag by exploring limerence – an obsessive form of romantic attraction – and offer practical recommendations for working with one-sided infatuation. They then discuss what to do when romantic vulnerability feels unsafe, and how we can rebuild trust in others after traumatic experiences. The episode also tackles managing career transitions, dealing with social anxiety around positive interactions, and maintaining boundaries without being consumed by anger.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
0:50: What can I do when I experience limerence, or compulsive romantic attraction?
18:00: How can I learn to trust my partner and embrace the experience of happiness in my relationship?
26:50: How can I best think about the inherent uncertainty in the 2-3 years of preparation for a new career path?
37:55: How can I learn to “take in the good” when good experiences feel uncomfortable for me?
44:55: How can I maintain important boundaries in a way that doesn’t lead to me feeling too much anger?
56:40: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
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Forrest and Dr. Rick explore "situationships" – those poorly defined, boundary-free relationships that exist in a gray area between friendship and committed dating. They unpack why these arrangements have become so common, examine the emotional trade-offs that keep people stuck, and share how to reclaim a sense of agency and build more authentic connections. The episode includes a role-play where Forrest plays someone struggling with situationships, while Dr. Rick draws on his decades of experience as a couples counselor to offer guidance.
Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:35: What is a situationship?
7:25: The benefits of a situationship, and relationship asymmetry
13:05: A roleplay of sharing your feelings
20:55: Uncertainty, wanting to be liked, and the fear of asking for what you want
31:10: Gears of rapport, and knowing your worth
38:05: Honoring yourself when a change is needed
48:05: How much to care, and the natural arc of change
52:35: Early indicators that someone is ready for a relationship
58:55: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Why do New Year's resolutions usually fail by February? Forrest and Dr. Rick explore why traditional goal-setting falls short and offer a new approach to creating lasting change. They discuss how we can uncover our authentic wants and needs, move away from a punishment mindset, and use our new knowledge to find fulfillment. This episode will teach you how to get more out of any other New Year’s content you listen to.
Rick and Forrest walk through a practical example of brain dumping “shoulds,” shifting the focus from means to ends, and working with internal resistance. They end the episode with a role-play focused on working with someone who wants to find a more meaningful relationship.
Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:35: Fulfillment as a target, and other healthy ways of orienting to our goals
14:00: Cataloguing our “shoulds”, and being driven by a sense of enthusiasm
23:20: How Forrest has personally connected with his authentic wants
30:15: The “punishment part”
35:50: Practical techniques for identifying our values
41:45: A roleplay focused on how to find a meaningful relationship
51:25: Reviewing the roleplay
55:05: Knowing your why
59:50: Developing your personal psychology, and surrendering to the best within you
1:03:40: Recap
I am writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some people navigate the social world with such ease while others feel like they're swimming upstream? In this special episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by four leading experts for a masterclass on the science of attachment. Featuring conversations with Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Rick Hanson, Julie Mennano, and Elizabeth Ferreira, this carefully curated episode gives you a map to becoming more socially confident, emotionally intelligent, and authentically connected.
Topics include:
Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:35: Rick Hanson: How to become securely attached
31:20: Working with common attachment wounds
47:35: Sue Johnson: How to have a bonding conversation
1:09:35: Julie Mennano: The attachment mistakes that bring people to therapy, and how secure couples relate differently
1:22:25: Rick Hanson: Self-abandonment, anxious attachment, and how to build up a greater sense of self-worth and self-trust
1:40:30: Elizabeth Ferreira: Creating a secure relationship
1:56:50: Recap and outro
About our Guests: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and has received numerous awards for her contributions to the field of psychotherapy. Dr. Johnson is also the author of seven books, including the best-selling Hold Me Tight.
Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.
Julie Menanno a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. She is the founder of The Secure Relationship coaching method, and maintains an instagram of the same name with over 1M followers. She is also the author of Secure Love.
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to discuss complex trauma, dissociation, and working with challenging emotions. Forrest and Elizabeth start by exploring the relationship between Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy, including how we can apply a somatic lens to working with our parts. They then apply that framework to complex PTSD, cognitive bypassing, emotional numbing, hypervigilance, and other difficult experiences. Other topics include issues around comparing trauma, windows of tolerance, appreciating individual needs, and Elizabeth’s own journey of becoming a therapist while managing C-PTSD and ADHD.
About our Guest: Elizabeth is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: What is the crossover between IFS and somatic therapy?
12:25: What helps a psychologically literate person who struggles to have a felt experience?
19:05: How can I track my capacity and needs in social situations before dissociating?
35:05: Why do I feel numb, and how can I move past it and feel my feelings again?
41:05: How can I address hypervigilance and stay present with my feelings without catastrophizing?
48:40: How do I respond to friends (or clients) who minimize their own pain or trauma?
58:55: What has supported Elizabeth in pursuing her vocation amidst challenges with trauma and neurodivergence?
1:10:40: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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We all have different needs for closeness and distance, for intimacy and independence. You might have heard terms like anxious or avoidant attachment to describe this, and these tendencies can create challenges - particularly when people with different needs try to relate to each other. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we're drawn to people who activate our insecurities, how anxiety manifests differently in "pursuers" versus "distancers," and what we can all do to work with our natural tendencies more skillfully. They discuss common relationship patterns, why pursuers usually receive more blame than distancers, schizoid personalities, and practical ways to break free from entrenched patterns.
Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Key characteristics of pursuers and distancers
9:25: Demands and reassurance
13:35: Assigning blame, and gender stereotypes
20:40: Why opposites attract, the power of small wins, and changing ourselves
31:15: The distancer
40:45: Finding motivation to identify common ground with our partner
54:30: The pursuer
1:00:00: Self-consciousness and ego
1:02:10: Brave questions to ask in your relationship
1:07:00: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion.
About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t).
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook on change
6:20: What makes people want to stay the same
18:00: Self-efficacy, faith, and making hope big
24:55: Seeing your problems as solutions
30:00: Grappling with existential anxiety
34:20: The shock of recognition, and connecting with motivations through dialog
40:25: Managing disappointment
43:20: Psychosocial rehab, and the changing definition of mental health
52:55: Psychedelics and direct action
1:04:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
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Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs: a sudden job loss, a relationship ending, a health crisis, or losing faith in something. These moments can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of how to move forward. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore a practical framework for navigating life's most challenging transitions. They break down the essential steps for finding your footing when things fall apart: managing the initial emotional impact, steadying yourself, gathering information, working with loss, and taking meaningful action.
You'll learn how to process difficult emotions without getting stuck, ways to evaluate your situation objectively while avoiding common cognitive biases, strategies for decision making under stress, and approaches to building resilience and finding meaning in challenging experiences.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
4:55: Four steps to find your footing when things fall apart
7:05: Stabilizing your body, and reestablishing routines
14:45: Slowing down, and confirmation bias
17:30: Emotional first aid, limiting stressors, and rumination
29:45: Identifying what is reliable in your life
32:45: Facing reality, and gathering information
40:00: Processing loss and disappointment
48:00: Making a plan and taking action
52:30: Post-traumatic growth
58:10: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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We all have to make big choices in life, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when facing major decisions about careers, relationships, or personal growth. In this episode, Forrest and Rick Hanson explore how to develop a reliable system for making choices that align with your values and goals. They break down balancing analysis with intuition, the five key decision-making styles, and common obstacles that lead to poor choices. The episode also includes two live demonstrations of working through a big decision, which includes learning how to identify what you want and pursue it from a values-oriented perspective.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:50: Analysis vs. intuition, and activities vs. results
10:45: Effort, values, and the environments you put yourself in
17:05: The five decision-making styles
28:50: Motives and attachment
33:30: Rigidity, excessive certainty, and other common pitfalls
42:10: Demo #1 - Reverse-engineering a career decision (or Rick with a legal pad)
1:04:55: Demo #2 - Deciding whether to invest deeply in a romantic relationship
1:18:00: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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We’re tired, burnt out, and searching for a reprieve from hustle culture. Something needs to change if we’re going to get to real productivity: doing that is meaningful and fulfilling rather than just checking boxes off an endless to-do list. On today’s episode, Cal Newport joins the podcast to explore slow productivity, deep work, and how we can achieve more by doing less.
About our Guest: Cal is a computer science professor at Georgetown University and the bestselling author of eight books including Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World and most recently, Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. He also has a YouTube channel and hosts the podcast Deep Questions with Cal Newport.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:45: Slow productivity vs. pseudoproductivity
10:35: Anxiety, procrastination, and overwhelm
17:40: Meaningful work and anti-productivity
22:40: Technology, anti-capitalist philosophy, and knowledge work
28:55: The cognitive drain of multitasking
32:45: The distraction of phones social media
36:00: The ratio of deep work to lighter work
41:00: How timeblocking actually reduces stress
45:20: Office hours and shared documents
48:05: Common misconceptions about Cal’s work
55:45: Tailoring advice to your individual situation
1:00:40: Life transitions, and the deceptive advice to “follow your passion”
1:08:00: Obsessing over quality while avoiding perfectionism
1:17:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions focused on navigating relationship challenges. They explore how to rediscover yourself after a codependent relationship, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires, maintain friendships after romantic feelings emerge, overcome self-consciousness in social interactions, and communicate effectively during stress responses. Whether you're healing from a breakup, working through attachment issues, or seeking to build more authentic connections, this episode offers practical advice.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
0:50: After a breakup, how can I reconnect with myself and identify what I really want?
7:50: How do I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy wanting?
18:40: How can I stay friends with someone I’ve had romantic feelings for?
32:20: How can I learn to let my thoughts and speech flow more naturally?
39:10: How can I communicate with care when I find myself in an attachment-related freeze response?
56:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
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We all have an "inner child:” the part of ourselves that carries the emotions, beliefs and experiences from our early years. While this aspect of ourselves can be a source of creativity, playfulness and wonder, it might also harbor unresolved wounds that affect our adult relationships and behaviors. In this episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what the inner child really is, how it manifests in our lives, and practical ways to work with this important part of ourselves. They discuss how to identify inner child wounds, demonstrate techniques like voice dialogue, and share strategies for bringing more awareness and healing to our younger selves.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What is the inner child?
7:30: How the inner child shows up in our adult lives
10:40: A CBT-ish way of thinking about the inner child
16:40: Unmet needs, and examples of inner child wounds
21:45: Promoting the positive aspects of the inner child
28:50: How to begin engaging with the inner child
35:30: Shame, and turning toward yourself
39:00: Reparenting
46:30: Voice Dialogue demonstration
1:00:15: Reflections on the demonstration
1:06:00: Other approaches, and reasons you might be having a hard time
1:09:25: Rage and release, looking at pictures, and creating an autobiography
1:14:00: Balancing the inner child's desires with the realities of life
1:20:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
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Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time, and because it’s so common it can be easy to take it lightly. But anxiety dominates the lives of many people, and in this episode psychotherapist Joshua Fletcher joins Forrest for an in-depth exploration of anxiety. They talk about the anxiety cycle, moving away from thinking in terms of a “cure,” and the key target of the “willful tolerance of uncertainty.” Josh also shares insights on exposure therapy, managing self-criticism, and developing greater self-awareness.
About our Guest: Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh, is a psychotherapist based in Manchester, UK, and the author of several books, including his newest, "and how does that make you feel?" Joshua also co-hosts the podcast "Disordered," and you may have bumped into his content on Tiktok or Instagram, where he has over a quarter million followers.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:30: Josh’s first panic attack
10:15: The vicious cycle of threat monitoring
14:00: The three magic words: “just in case”
20:00: The “willful tolerance of uncertainty”
27:00: Exposure therapy
31:55: Working with self-criticism
41:20: Reward, punishment, and trauma
48:05: Identifying our varied inner voices
52:10: Worried voice, false comfort, and wise mind
54:00: Approaching anxiety as a neurodivergent person
58:10: Healthy disenchantment
1:00:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Why do so many people seem to resist self-compassion? Dr. Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to explore how we can work with the deeply ingrained shame that gets in the way.
Dr. Germer shares common misunderstandings about self-compassion, and they discuss the complex interplay between shame, self-criticism, and our capacity for self-care. Forrest focuses on the paradox of self-compassion: how approaching it as a “solution to your problems” actually gets in the way of it helping you out. Dr. Germer then shares the model of safety, challenge, and overwhelm, including how we can use it to guide our practice, get to the bottom of shame, and avoid burnout along the way.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: What people get wrong about self-compassion
5:10: Tender vs. fierce self-compassion, and the “paradox of practice”
11:35: Shame and self-compassion
17:35: Safety, challenge, and overwhelm
23:30: Holding ourselves before holding our experience
31:45: Burnout, and inner-kindness vs. external approval
37:35: Getting to the bottom of shame, and loving ourselves up
42:00: Applying mindfulness to self-compassion practice
48:40: Overzealousness, and clarity of intention
53:10: Motivating ourselves
57:00: Recap
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In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the all-too-common challenge of social anxiety. They break down what it really means to be socially anxious (hint: it's not just being shy), where those feelings come from, and why they stick around. Rick explains the roots of social anxiety, highlighting the role of attachment styles and individual temperament, before Forrest shares how to locate yourself on a spectrum from everyday nervousness to Social Anxiety Disorder. They then discuss evidence-based approaches to working with social anxiety like exposure therapy, cognitive defusion, and mindfulness techniques. Whether you experience feelings of anxiety or are trying to understand a friend who does, this episode will help you feel more confident and connected.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What is social anxiety?
7:10: Where does social anxiety come from?
13:40: Feeling worthy, and other social factors
17:00: Nature vs. nurture
24:15: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and comorbid diagnoses
29:50: Exposure therapy, and how to practice it safely
42:00: Positive reinforcement, and responding to ruminative thoughts
55:45: Widening our view, and taking in the good
1:03:15: Talking with younger parts, and self-compassion
1:10:15: Normalizing anxiety
1:11:35: Recap
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Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimers
3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy
7:40: Charisma, privilege, and why some people get away with antisocial behavior
16:10: Sensitivity to criticism, viewing people as means to ends, and other evidence
22:35: Being careful about labeling people
28:50: Developing awareness, and grieving reality
33:10: Boundaries and safety
38:00: Limiting the scope of the relationship
42:20: How to break through the “fuzz” in communication
49:25: Transference, and when it’s safe to confront people
55:15: Self-care in unavoidable situations
59:15: When you notice these tendencies in yourself
1:02:10: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair.
This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety
4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs
12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships
19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic
26:55: Communicating from the heart
32:40: Emotional validation
35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship
44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm
50:35: The power of choice in relationships
56:35: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest dive into the mailbag, and answer questions from listeners focused on working with anxiety in ourselves and our relationships. They start with a question that’s essential to the podcast as a whole: is it possible to be too preoccupied with personal growth? Rick talks about how to manage the desire for approval, offering strategies to foster self-acceptance and healthier self-validation, before Forrest shares his own journey with finding the right amount of try-hard. They then discuss how to create more collaborative decisions in relationships. Additional topics include self-motivation and peak performance, working with diverse needs, and diagnostic “scope creep.”
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Am I too preoccupied with self-help and personal growth?
11:20: How do I address my unquenchable thirst for approval?
27:15: How can I tell if I’m actually doing my best?
36:40: How do I advocate for more collaborative decision making with my partner?
54:15: How does the brain’s natural pursuit of novelty balance with its desire for safety?
1:03:30: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Forrest dives into cognitive bypassing - a common strategy many of us use to avoid feeling difficult emotions - with trauma therapist Simone Saunders. Simone and Forrest discuss the connection between cognitive bypassing and trauma before exploring somatic tools that can help us avoid an endless cycle of overthinking, and fully process our experiences. They focus on the “freeze” and “fawn” stress responses, and talk about how these responses can impact our relationships and everyday interactions. The conversation widens from there to include topics like letting go of unhealthy relationships, navigating the shame that can come with self-awareness, working through triggers, finding more agency, and changing our models of conflict.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: What’s cognitive bypassing?
5:55: Somatic approaches, and widening the window of tolerance
18:10: The freeze and fawn responses
22:25: Grieving letting go of unhealthy relationships
26:20: Shame, the problem with self-awareness, and identifying your values
35:35: How to move through “first contact” with our triggers
38:05: Feeling connected to others
41:55: Agency, and being embodied in a relationship
47:30: Changing how we see conflict
51:15: Grief as self-awareness, and expressing ourselves
57:25: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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In this special conversation, Forrest explores what it means to be a good father with his dad, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson. They discuss the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of parenthood, starting with the advice Rick would have given himself. Rick and Forrest tackle the mental health challenges new parents face, focusing particularly on maintaining a strong relationship between partners. They get real about their relationship, and Rick offers practical strategies for "resetting" with your partner during stressful times.
They then talk about different approaches to parenting, and how to find a healthy balance of authority, aspiration, and nurturance. Whether you’re navigating the path of parenthood, reflecting on your relationship with your own parents, or just looking to gain some insight into the father-son dynamic, this episode has something for everyone.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Did becoming a dad change Rick’s relationship with his parents?
5:05: What advice would Rick give a younger version of himself?
8:45: Biological stressors, and the mental health challenges of young parents
17:00: Maintaining closeness with your children while working
21:40: How to “reset” with your partner
32:15: Savoring the good times
35:35: Authority, aspiration, and nurturance
44:30: Parenting the child you have, and emotional regulation
51:10: Recognizing that kids are not tiny adults
57:55: Staying consistent
1:00:30: How to practice for becoming a parent
1:03:00: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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In this timely episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest tackle the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling about the state of today’s world. They discuss why everything feels so overwhelming right now, share practical ways to manage those emotions, and explore how we can stay grounded, take ownership of what we can control, and maintain a sense of connection with others. Topics include managing uncertainty, wise skepticism, developing agency, accepting impermanence, and understanding grief as a deep form of love and connection. Whether you're feeling anxious about global events or just navigating daily life, this episode offers practical advice for building resilience.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Why do things feel so terrifying?
11:45: A typical response to the state of the world
17:40: Recognizing how much uncertainty there is
25:35: Feeling grounded in your personal integrity
32:30: Taking ownership of what you are able to contribute
39:00: Our felt sense of connection with others
44:20: Accepting impermanence
49:00: Grief as a form of love and connection
54:15: Recap
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Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals.
About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Defining perfectionism
6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving
12:40: The five types of perfectionists
21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short
28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism
34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work
38:10: The difference between power and control
44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection
49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships
54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success
1:07:10: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are.
They start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. Forrest talks about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. They then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process.
Hope you enjoy it!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know
4:30: Individuation
12:05: Some examples of shadow material
18:35: What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow?
23:10: Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities
26:50: Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts
32:00: Acceptance, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow
38:10: Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity
46:25: The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them
55:30: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations.
They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap
3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses?
10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy
14:20: Setting the tone
20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks
24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance
31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests
38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth
41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves
43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism
47:40: Managing frustration
53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware?
1:01:35: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Have you ever felt like you knew yourself a little too well? While self-awareness is usually helpful, it can sometimes lead to overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, and self-consciousness. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do if we feel like we’re “too self-aware.”
They begin by identifying some of the issues that can arise with self-awareness, differentiating it from self-consciousness, and highlighting how conflict between different parts can stop us from becoming who we want to be. They then discuss how developing ego strength can help us become more authentic and free in our behavior. Rick then guides Forrest through a role-play exercise aimed at reducing self-consciousness and social anxiety, and addressing parts of ourselves we may not like.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Can we be "too self-aware?"
3:55: Three ways self-awareness can cause problems, and four stages of growth
8:25: Outside-in vs. inside-out change, and self-consciousness
14:20: Authenticity, feeling stuck, and internalizing judgment
18:45: Ego strength, and what helps people navigate overwhelm
29:10: What not to do, and a roleplay example with Forrest
35:00: Showing interest in others, and rumination
40:15: More roleplay with Forrest, anxiety, overanalysis, and shame
53:25: Qualities we like and can embrace about an exiled part
1:01:30: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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About 30% of people will experience depression at some point in their lives, and most of us know what a depressed mood feels like. Because depressive episodes are common, there’s no lack of good advice out there. But depression is so challenging in part because it attacks our ability to do anything about it. Depression saps our energy, is demotivating, and makes it difficult to actually put that good advice into practice. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do about this, and how we can break out of an episode of depressed mood.
They start by talking about what causes depression, introduce the biopsychosocial model, and identify an overall framework for most depressive episodes. Rick and Forrest then explain the vicious cycle of depressed mood before focusing on what a person can do practically to break the cycle. Topics include identifying mindsets, changing how we interpret information, fully experiencing our emotions, rumination and ruminatory processes, taking in the good, and creating openness to possibility.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Distinguishing a depressed mood from MDD
7:25: Causes of depression
12:00: Absolutist beliefs and self-compassion
17:45: The paradox of motivation, and small ways to break the cycle
24:20: Fully experiencing your feelings, and emotional release
30:05: Discerning between thoughts and experiences
38:30: Rumination, finding evidence of positive change, and interoception
42:50: Recognizing what you don’t know, being receptive to love, and simply being
52:00: Recap
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Most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were stuck: unable to deal with our issues, change in useful ways, or make our lives the way we wanted them to be. It’s often not for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises, you maybe even saw a therapist…but it just didn’t help. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why this happens, and what we can do about it.
Rick shares a simple framework we can approach change through before Forrest digs into the six key factors that prevent us from changing. They talk about self-acceptance and how we can relax our attachment to the current version of ourselves, before moving on to factors that affect motivation. They then discuss working with fears, becoming courageous, and leaning into a more authentic version of who we are.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: What we can (and can’t) change
4:15: Taking inventory: What hasn’t worked?
9:00: Seeing what’s true
15:25: Holding onto an identity, recognizing your defenses, and experimenting
29:55: Motivating yourself, and releasing feelings of guilt
36:35: Secondary gains
46:30: Courage, boredom, and fear of the unknown
50:20: Appreciating how our environment influences us
55:40: Seeing what’s already working, and getting new inputs
1:04:00: Authentically being you
1:06:55: Recap
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Dr. Rick and Forrest open the mailbag and answer questions focused on strengthening our relationships. They explore how we can support friends and loved ones who are experiencing depression while also caring for ourselves, managing different levels of capacity within a relationship, maintaining self-worth and trust in the context of body image insecurities, and navigating the often tricky dynamics of a partner’s relationship with their ex. The episode closes with Rick and Forrest sharing how they’ve handled repair in their parent/child relationship, and what we can do to manage anxieties about the future.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Establishing boundaries with a loved one who is depressed
11:00: Managing different levels of capacity in a relationship
16:45: Body image insecurity, and trusting that others love us
31:45: How do I navigate my partner's relationship with their ex?
42:15: I’m nervous that as my child ages they’ll blame me for my parenting. What can I do?
1:02:15: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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If we want to accomplish something in life it usually takes a combination of motivation and consistency - in other words, discipline. Discipline is both essential…and shockingly hard to develop. In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can become more disciplined. They talk about whether discipline came naturally to Rick, and the lessons we can learn from his journey with discipline. Key topics include how to make even frustrating tasks rewarding, the relationship between discipline and self-concept, how to identify key wants, needs, and aspirations, and learning to feel good when we do good.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Rick’s personal history with cultivating discipline
5:45: Finding reward in necessary tasks
17:50: Engaging in your life, and knowing what you really care about
22:35: The power of your self-concept
31:45: Breaking things down into small parts
36:45: Motivation, distress tolerance, and meta-motivation
46:35: Getting out of a negative mindset, and finding what works for you
54:10: Recap
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Psychological defenses are subconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, and they exert a hidden power over our behavior. From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how these defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being.
They start with the function and structure of most defenses, before giving a few simple examples. Rick then dives into the role of defenses in psychoanalytic theory, their role in managing self-worth and shame, and what we can do to become less defensive over time. They close with practical strategies for working with our defenses, including a brief discussion of what we can do to help other people with their defenses.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Psychological and historical factors influencing psychological defensiveness
8:00: Some examples of unconscious anxiety bubbling up
12:00: Repression, regression, projection, reaction formation, and sublimation
16:55: An overview of Freud’s developmental model of the personality
24:10: A few examples of how our defenses manifest
33:40: Consciousness, competence, and joining the defense
44:00: Navigating shame and guilt
50:15: Distress tolerance
57:15: Social connection, and finding healthy outlets
1:00:20: When and how to approach others about their defensiveness
1:10:45: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest finish their series on the stress responses with the fawn response: an appeasement strategy where we manage stressful situations by giving others what they want. Rick and Forrest start by discussing common symptoms, including people pleasing, self-abandonment, difficulty saying no, weak boundaries, and chronic self-sacrifice. They talk about the roots of the fawn response and its connection to complex PTSD before exploring people pleasing in detail. In the second half of the episode they focus on practical tools for developing healthy boundaries, self-acceptance, and a stronger sense of self.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: What the fawn response looks like
9:05: Power imbalances, shame, and contempt
11:35: What personal history tends to lead to fawning?
20:00: How to work on the tendency to fawn
36:30: Shame, self-acceptance, and opening up to self-expression
41:25: The fawn response in relationship
46:40: Becoming your own source of safety
52:20: Making equitable arrangements, and acknowledging your best efforts
1:01:50: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can create more secure relationships. They talk about the lessons they've learned from their relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work. Topics include complex PTSD, how to work through disagreements, changing our model of relationships, and learning how to actually support your partner.
I loved this conversation, and hope you enjoy it!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: The myth of relationships solving your problems, and self-awareness
4:25: Me, you, and us
13:45: Changing your partner by changing yourself
16:45: Embracing the challenges of vulnerability
23:25: Disagreeing well, making specific requests, and holding space
33:05: Learning how to support your partner
37:40: Five different styles of relationship
40:55: Moving from trying to please your partner to showing compassion
45:15: Love as a choice, and expressing wants and needs positively
49:30: Simply liking your partner
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
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OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how to deal with chronically negative people, managing avoidant tendencies that get in the way of us finding a great relationship, and separating normal desires for support from more problematic ones. They then talk about how we can build self-confidence and become more internally referenced, before closing the episode with a sticky situation involving supporting an aging parent.
If you’d like to send in a question to be answered on the podcast, join our Patreon or email us at [email protected].
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: My friend is chronically negative, what can I do?
13:05: How can I move past a cycle of avoidance that’s inhibiting my ability to find a good relationship?
26:05: I want to be supported by my partner, but I’m worried about becoming enmeshed. How can I seek help in a healthy way?
39:30: How do I stop seeking validation from others?
45:20: How do I react to ongoing criticism from an aging parent?
58:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is closely tied to a small mountain of problematic pseudoscience. They discuss and debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want.
Rick and Forrest talk about creating clarity around our goals, setting intentions, improving self-worth and self-efficacy, and overcoming some of the negative unconscious beliefs that can get in our way, before exploring authenticity, consistent effort, and working with fear and inhibition. Then Rick closes the episode by walking us through a practical example of how to change a belief.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:00: Defining manifestation, and separating psychological and supernatural mechanisms of action
6:55: The mind-body connection, and the psychological aspects of manifesting
15:50: Charlatanism, preying on uncertainty, and the problems with the law of attraction
25:20: Changing behavior vs. changing thoughts, and the lure of the supernatural
32:10: If you want to skip the context, start here.
32:35: Getting what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of, and “don’t know” mind
38:50: Identifying wants, surrendering to the best within us, and using pain as a guide
48:55: Embracing the reality of consistent effort
54:55: How to change a negative belief
1:08:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out.
I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful
5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort
12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks
16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking
26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses
33:30: Graduated exposure
39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change
44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee
54:25: Responding to anxiety
1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape
1:08:40: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.”
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: The useful aspects of anger
5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response
8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger
13:40: Navigating resentment
21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger
32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature
35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment
39:45: Going from complaint to request
43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger
52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed
54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves
59:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well
7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you
14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies
20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy
21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious
23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement
25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself
29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs
36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences
41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking
46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching
52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working
1:02:15: The role of client motivation
1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist
1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement
1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients
1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting
1:21:20: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame.
Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault.
About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book
6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter
10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma
16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it
20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc
23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work
28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner
30:35: Tenderness
34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories
39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety
43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing
46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion
49:45: Living by dying
52:15: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair
7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency
12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present
18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves
28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle
32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds
38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past
41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences
45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had
57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being
1:02:00: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries.
About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What is emotional immaturity?
7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms
14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers
18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy
25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self
29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood
41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self
50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships
56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance
1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base
1:06:20: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more.
About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s
4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities
8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world
14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication
23:25: The “strength of weak ties”
27:20: Self-concept and identity capital
30:30: What helps people take action
34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety
41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved
46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck
49:20: How to choose purpose
58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s
1:04:45: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail.
They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Understanding stress responses
9:05: Stress responses in relationship
15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing
19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice
23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation
30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard
38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study
53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety
1:02:55: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational?
11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts?
21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system?
39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT?
55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through?
1:05:10: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Soonsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
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Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s
4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action
8:00: Embrace mentorship
13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values
21:30: Try things, and let yourself change
24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships)
27:35: Identify useful feedback
31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure
36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results
38:25: Focus on where you have agency
44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values
46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like
47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self
49:50: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
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On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Common features of self-abandonment
12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen
16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism
21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others
33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity
40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense
50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness
55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs
58:50: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
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There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer.
Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains.
About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book The Hunger Habit.
Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimer
2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program
6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior
11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower
18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring
24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning
31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise
36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating
44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer
52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception
57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer
1:07:45: Caring for our future self
1:11:30: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
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One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client
6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences
9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts
16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation
23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client
29:10: Titration and traumatic release
33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult”
40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client
46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns
49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices
53:55: Finding a supportive community
57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity
58:55: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Start each day right with IQBAR’s brain-and-body-boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Our relationships are some of the most important parts of our life, and our happiness is often directly correlated to the strength of those relationships. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Forrest and Dr. Joy focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, how attachment issues show up in friendships, and the common friend roles you might be placing yourself into without realizing it.
About our Guest: Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the host of the wildly popular podcast Therapy for Black Girls – which has more than 34 million downloads - and the author of the recently released book Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What group therapy is like, and some its unique advantages
5:50: Creating a safe container for vulnerability
11:50: Trust, loyalty, respect, and gender dynamics
19:55: Attachment patterns in friendships
25:50: The Wallflower, the Leader, the Peacemaker, and the Firecracker
33:30: Navigating social circles with differing levels of openness to change
36:35: Challenges identifying, accepting, and expressing our needs
41:40: Specific challenges for black women in getting needs met
46:15: How stigma around therapy has changed over time
48:55: Curiosity, and guidelines for global sisterhood
52:00: Recap
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Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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ADHD is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - conditions out there, and today we’re setting the record straight with author and YouTuber Jessica McCabe. Jessica joins Forrest to explore her journey with ADHD, dealing with common challenges like self-criticism, shame, and sensitivity, and how we can work with our unique brain, not against it.
About our Guest: Jessica McCabe is the creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD and author of the new book How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Jessica’s history with ADHD, and how she wrote her book
7:15: Stigma, pride, self-criticism, and letting others help you
12:05: Dealing with shame
14:55: Self-advocacy, self-acceptance, and asking the right questions
24:40: Believing in your experience
27:45: Common misconceptions about ADHD
31:40: The relationship between ADHD and emotional sensitivity and regulation
36:05: Creating a sense of community
39:25: Advice for partners, family, and friends of people with ADHD
47:25: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
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Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on the secret to everyday happiness: learning how to like without wanting. They talk about the lies our brain tells us, the rapid movement from liking to wanting, and how we can enjoy an experience without craving more of it. They then explore a specific example of getting captured by the brain’s “inner ad agency,” and what we can do to stay in the present, meet key needs, and see the whole of our experience without getting trapped by any one part. You won’t want to miss this one!
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Liking, wanting, and healthy desire
11:30: The story craving tells us
15:00: Inhibition and “prudishness” around liking
21:15: “21st century problems”
25:35: A personal example of getting trapped by desire
29:05: Meeting your legitimate needs, somatic cues, and inner freedom
35:20: The search for the slightly better experience
42:25: The brain’s prediction errors, and longing for what is already here
47:50: The ability to zoom out and see the full spectrum of our experience
59:25: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important skills we can learn: how we can become more aware of all the parts of our experience, avoid being captured by any one of them, and work with those parts more skillfully. One of the key tools we have for accomplishing this is vedanā, or the “feeling tone” of our experience. Author and meditation teacher Dr. Danny Penman joins the show to explore the role of vedanā, how we can help our brain interpret the world more accurately, and practical tools for relaxing suffering and enjoying life.
About our Guest: Danny Penman is a meditation teacher, an award-winning writer and journalist, and the co-author of the classic Mindfulness with Dr. Mark Williams. Dr. Williams was one of the original creators of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mark and Danny are back with the new book Deeper Mindfulness: The New Way to Rediscover Calm in a Chaotic World.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: How a major injury started Danny’s professional relationship with mindfulness practice
10:45: Vedanā, and unpacking the different aspects of our experience
18:20: The sensations that precede our thoughts
24:45: How the brain creates a model of reality, and whether that model is accurate
29:40: How an undisciplined relationship with feeling tone creates unnecessary suffering
37:00: Accepting a feeling vs. approving of a situation
44:10: Practical steps to feeling our feelings
48:00: Finding enjoyment in new habits, especially somatically
57:50: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. How can we understand and support someone going through a mental health crisis? Is meditation enough to heal trauma? And what can we do about family members that just won’t change? You’ll learn why offering help isn’t always helpful, how to deal with unskillful feedback, and approaches that help with setting and achieving long-term goals.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Question #1 - How can I support a friend who is going through a mental health crisis?
7:10: What’s a “psychotic break,” and being careful with clinical terminology.
12:00: Question #2 - Is it possible to heal trauma through meditation alone?
20:25: Question #3 - How do I start again when I’ve fallen off the wagon?
27:30: Question #4 - Is feedback necessary for growth? And what kind of feedback is helpful?
33:10: Question #5 - How can I improve my relationship with money?
42:20: Question #6 - I’m very frustrated with a family member who just won’t change their bad behavior. What can I do?
54:05: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, to explore how we can integrate all the aspects of who we are. They explain the IFS model, the nature of parts and their roles, and how we can use this knowledge to increase self-awareness and deal with common problems. Then Rick and Dr. Schwartz dive deep into the nature of the “Self,” where it comes from, and how we can tune into and strengthen it.
This was a wide-ranging conversation, and we were thrilled to have Dr. Schwartz on the podcast again. You won’t want to miss this one.
About our Guest: Dr. Richard “Dick” Schwartz is the creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, and has authored a number of books and over fifty articles focused on IFS. His newest book is No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Quick explanation of the IFS Model
6:45: Releasing the “Self”
11:10: Where does the Self come from?
16:00: How the practical side of IFS connects to the spiritual
23:20: The four goals of IFS, and parts of parts
26:15: Becoming your own attachment figure
32:15: Richard’s experience integrating his exiled parts
37:25: Personification in IFS. Why think in terms of “parts”?
46:15: Why befriend our “bad” parts?
49:55: The non-pathologizing nature of IFS in a clinical framework
55:25: First and second darts
57:15: Identifying parts with curiosity, courage, and physical awareness
1:03:25: How asking yourself questions gets you in touch with your intuition
1:12:45: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Dr. Mariel Buqué joins the podcast to help us learn how we can heal from the past, create healthier patterns, and break cycles of trauma. Forrest and Dr. Buqué talk about what intergenerational trauma is, how we can “hand trauma down,” and how these problematic patterns show up in the real world. They focus on what helps someone take the first steps, the key role of insight, and moving from insight to action. Along the way, Dr. Buqué shares the powerful tools that help people resource themselves to do the hard work of breaking intergenerational patterns.
About our Guest: Dr. Mariel Buqué received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University, and her work has been featured on major media outlets like The Today Show and Good Morning America. She’s the author of the new book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma, and host of the podcast by the same name.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: What drew Mariel to this work
10:25: How Mariel thinks about intergenerational trauma
17:00: Common patterns of her clients
20:00: Most people’s initial motivation to find healing
24:45: Courage and vulnerability with the people in our family systems
33:20: Grounding, excavating the family tree, finding healthy alternative patterns
39:40: Practices for stimulating the ventral vagal nerve
44:05: Finding a way in to healing that is accessible to you
47:40: Creating an intergenerational trauma tree
55:00: Finding steadiness when the emotional floodgates open
58:00: The shortcomings of the western medical outlook
1:00:45: Integration, and creating a short buffer between stimulus and response
1:06:15: Values and healthy pride
1:08:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest kick off 2024 by exploring how we can relate to the past, plan for the future, and get more from the year ahead. They talk about different approaches to New Years, the tactics that maximize your chances of achieving a goal, and a simple four question system for reflecting on and learning from the year that was. You'll learn how to create useful resolutions, put 2023 into perspective, and set yourself up for success in the year to come!
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Rick's approach to New Year’s resolutions
4:05: Going from being to doing to having
10:15: Four questions to ask yourself around the New Year
22:00: A S.M.A.R.T. way to put New Year’s resolutions into form
25:45: Bottom-up intentions, and the feeling of a completed intention
29:15: Trying different somatic cues for embodying an intention
32:00: Finding your allies, not oversharing your goals, and physically declaring priorities
40:45: Getting on your own side
51:40: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Forrest and Elizabeth welcome listeners into their home to talk about their changing relationship with the holidays, letting go of the past, healthy boundaries, glimmers, and different paths to taking in the good. Along the way they talk about different approaches to working with trauma, connecting with the body, and getting on our own side.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Elizabeth’s history with the holidays, and claiming your own rituals
5:20: Experiencing the holidays without an agenda
10:15: Glimmers in Polyvagal Theory
14:10: Working with a challenging relationship history
21:35: Somatic psychology, and respecting the mind
28:40: Regulating through movement
31:55: Staying yourself inside of your family
38:45: Enjoying agency, and emphasizing beauty
42:30: Entrapment and defeat, awareness, and saying no
47:15: Attachment, contracting around desire, and taking a moment for yourself
51:20: A practice of finding glimmers
55:35: Self-compassion and camaraderie during the holidays
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Dr. Rick joins Forrest for a deep dive into harnessing our natural generativity. How can we become more productive and creative, experience greater satisfaction, and lean into our biological drives to get more of what we want out of life?
They explore what a drive is, our natural drive states, and what we can learn from models of motivation like self-determination theory, before moving on to what we can do if generativity doesn’t come naturally to us. Rick and Forrest share how we can lean into enjoyable experiences, feel more competent and autonomous, and learn to brave experiences of failure. The second half of the episode focuses on psychological tools that help us activate, enjoy, and hang out in generative states more often.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: Rick's ability to stay generative.
3:25: Motivation, aggression, and our interdependence with others
12:10: A theoretical framework for generative drive
14:50: The process of making something as a form of healing
19:30: Confidence, autonomy, and relatedness
23:55: The way we think of ourselves
28:10: Agency, and what we can and cannot influence
34:30: Comfort with aggression
40:55: Work ethic, the role of passion and enjoyment, and finding your why
47:45: Competency and flow
50:55: Having positive associations with effort
57:10: Enriching vs. absorbing our experience
1:01:30: The little things that make a big difference
1:04:30: Recap
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We’re getting toward the end of the year, and it’s a great opportunity to evaluate where we are and where we’d like to go. On today's episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can step out of the way we've been, and into a new way of thinking, doing, and being.
They talk about self-concept, unconscious beliefs, and how those beliefs affect our behavior. Forrest then shares a model of what this kind of change tends to look like practically, which usually includes relax our attachment to the things that are holding us back. Other topics include getting down to "the tip of the root," taking a step back from our narratives, challenging limiting beliefs, taking life less personally, working with discouragement, and finding motivation and drive.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Self-concept, how unconscious beliefs affect behavior, and freedom
5:40: Appraisals and attributions
9:35: The way we spin our self-narrative, and holding onto grievances
14:25: Being honest with ourselves when we feel stuck
19:30: Changing behavior before changing thinking
25:15: Values and behaviors
29:05: Underlying fears and practical confusion
33:50: Taking your experiences less personally
36:05: Finding the motivation to get our hands dirty
41:30: Negativity bias and appreciative inquiry
47:45: First steps when you’re feeling discouraged
56:55: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict).
About our Guest: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast.Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do, out on December 26th.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths
7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity
11:05: Not giving away your power
14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships
18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations
22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse
27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation
31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes
34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions
38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’
41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs
45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves
49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance
51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’
55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences
1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility
1:03:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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What can I do if my partner dominates conversations about our relationship? How can I navigate situations where I want to repair, but other people don’t? What’s a “highly sensitive person,” and how does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners.
If you’d like to have a question answered on the podcast, you can join us on Patreon or send it in to [email protected].
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What can I do when my partner dominates relationship conversations, but also complains about me “interrupting?”
12:45: How can you repair with family members…when they don’t want to repair?
22:55: Why do intrusive thoughts arise late at night? How can we address them?
28:00: I give to a fault in my relationships. What can I do?
34:10: How do you work with the tendency to be overly competitive?
40:45: What do you think about the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) “diagnosis?” How does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism?
55:15: Recap
Sponsors:
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Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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In one of the most interesting conversations we've ever had on the podcast, Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham to explore what really helps people work with - and be with - trauma. They begin with Dr. Ham's background and what drew him to trauma work before Forrest asks him how he "conceptualizes" different kinds of traumatic experiences. Dr. Ham then takes them away from the conceptual, and toward the felt.
They talk about cultivating a felt sense of connection, empathy as a way in to relationship, and the value of anger. Dr. Ham shares about his own process taking risks as a clinician, using parts work, moving away from the "false idol" of cognizing, and finding a unique way in for each individual.
About our Guest: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma. He was the therapist former podcast guest Stephanie Foo wrote about in her wonderful book What My Bones Know.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Jacob’s background
5:20: Cultivating a felt sense of connection vs. idolizing the concept of trauma
11:00: A monastic, medical, and artistic approach
13:00: Knowing our intentions, and feeling others’ pain as a therapist
18:00: Surrendering to overwhelming grief
23:50: Love, vulnerability, and authenticity
29:45: The value of anger, the energy it demands, and navigating it with humility
34:45: Presence, and taking risks as a clinician
40:40: How Jacob does parts work, and finding what works with each individual
46:15: Staring at the finger that’s pointing at the moon
49:25: Does a good therapist need to have experienced trauma?
52:30: Honoring our inner protectors, surrendering to pain, and knowing it won’t last forever
56:20: Shaping others’ ability to help you, and processing trauma without professional help
1:00:15: Tipping points and surrender
1:04:15: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun.
If that sounded like a joke, this episode is for you.
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year.
I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: What makes the holidays tough?
5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you
14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude
24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation
26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries
32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes
38:50: Getting through when it’s hard
43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up
47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest
51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss
1:01:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the polyvagal theory, joins the podcast to walk us through how its lessons can be applied to recovering from traumatic experiences. Forrest and Dr. Porges simplify the polyvagal theory, discuss the three key states our body can rest in, and explore how we can use polyvagal practices to heal old wounds and feel safer.
About our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He’s published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers and is the author of a number of books, including his recently released Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: A brief overview of Polyvagal Theory (PVT)
5:20: Ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states
12:05: Relating PVT to trauma, and processing cognitively vs. in the body
19:30: Creating enough safety and co-regulation for healing work
23:30: What helps people gain awareness, safety, and regulation
27:15: Contextualizing a freeze response both psychologically and medically
30:45: Distinguishing feeling safe vs. being safe
34:10: Where to start when you don’t have a secure base in another person
37:20: How our physiology has evolved to detect psychosocial cues
39:20: How healing practices change our perception of the world
41:35: The calming effect of slow exhalation and top-down visualization
43:05: Other tools to calm the nervous system, and the need for social nourishment
47:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.
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Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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We all know that change is inevitable in life, and getting good at changing is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s also one of the most difficult to master. On today’s episode writer and coach Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to explore how we can reshape who we are, navigate and embrace change, and become more resilient.
About our Guest: Brad focuses his work on the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He’s a regular contributor at The New York Times and the author of a number of wonderful books including The Practice of Groundedness and his most recent book Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: How Brad has come to think about change
3:30: Rethinking homeostasis and allostasis
6:55: Suffering, resistance, and rugged flexibility
13:00: Creating a more flexible identity
20:30: Not going ‘all in all the time’
24:30: Constraints that support a healthy amount of ego
28:20: Brad’s personal challenges and supports in finding insight
34:00: Waiting to find meaning until after moving through a difficult change
39:15: Our perception of time slows during distress
41:25: Pounding a stone, and sticking with a process
45:55: Developing and retaining a sense of self-efficacy
49:20: Expecting discomfort
51:10: Turning hobbies into work, nurturing curiosity, and being a beginner
55:05: Values and perspectives
1:00:00: Shaking the snow globe, then letting it settle
1:03:10: Five questions from Brad’s book to ask yourselves
1:04:15: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important decisions we’ll make in life: the choice to become a parent. They focus on what good parenting looks like in practice, the key difference in thinking of a child as a “means” or an “end,” and how to know whether becoming a parent is the right path for you.
Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:20: The significance (and uniqueness) of this choice
4:50: Being aware of your motivations for having a child
16:55: The influence of primal biology
20:50: Qualities of a good parent
30:30: Mirroring, idealizing, twinship, and the process of differentiation
36:35: Optimal frustration, and a healthy parental work ethic
41:25: The rewards of being a parent
46:45: If you don’t like __ you shouldn’t become a parent
48:50: A word for current parents who wish things had been different
53:00: Community, partnership, and resources
55:10: Meaning and fulfillment with or without a child
1:00:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can improve our self-confidence, allowing us to become more psychologically flexible and create healthy boundaries with other people. They explain why becoming better at something doesn’t always make us more confident, the two paths of gaining confidence and releasing insecurity, and how we can release insecurity over time. They then talk about the differences between confidence and narcissism, dealing with other people when they try to put us down, and how we can develop an authentic sense of self-worth.
Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Separating confidence and capability
8:10: Releasing insecurity vs. gaining confidence
13:25: Sources of insecurity, celebrating others’ vision, and tapping into universal currents
20:30: Redefining what a win looks like, and surrendering to the best in ourselves
26:30: Finding people who believe in you, taking action, and not knowing
31:20: Our core beliefs, why they are rational, and how to update them
34:35: Self-worth, and confidence in your own innate goodness
38:55: The difference between self-confidence and narcissism
44:00: Facing the fear of what will happen if you are confident
52:00: When being poorly received is about others and not you
54:45: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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How we view ourselves, other people, and the world around us has a huge impact on the emotions we feel, the choices we make, and the quality of the lives we lead. These are our perspectives, and they’re the foundation our lives are built on…which is why changing them is so freakin’ hard.
In this episode, Forrest and Rick explore what perspectives are, what a healthy perspective looks like in practice, and how we can deliberately shift our perspectives over time. Specific topics include unpacking where perspectives come from, getting better at identifying when a perspective starts to affect our behavior, and thinking of ourselves as “rivers” rather than “rocks.” By the end of this episode, you’ll learn the key skills you need to change the views that have been holding you back.
Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and info on Rick’s Neurodharma course
2:10: Aspects of the kind of perspective we’re talking about
5:50: Change, being grounded in reality, and self-compassion
12:40: Fixed perspectives, fear, and a few examples from Rick
19:40: Shame, and conflict with others due to changes in behavior
22:35: Lack of self-confidence leading to rigidity
25:50: De-centering, joy, viewing yourself as a river, and playfulness
31:45: Roleplay, and asking ‘what if?’
35:25: Inquiring into how our perspectives are constructed
44:35: Emotional imagination, and retelling your story
47:10: How our values and aspirations drive our perspective
51:50: Asking which perspectives support what’s important to you
54:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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“The mistake most of us make is building our homes in other people. When we do that, we give them the power to make us homeless.”
Poet, activist, and author Najwa Zebian joins Forrest for a conversation focused on discovering what truly matters to us. They use Najwa’s personal story as a way to explore how we can break out of the roles others place us in, create healthy boundaries, and feel worthy from the inside-out. Topics include balancing intimacy and autonomy, self-compassion and self-love, and finding the courage to act authentically.
About Our Guest: Najwa Zebian is an activist, poet, educator, and the author of six books including her recent works Welcome Home, Conversations on Letting Go, and The Only Constant, which will be coming out March 2024. She was raised in Lebanon and moved to Canada at 16 where she later earned her Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Western Ontario.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Najwa’s personal background
6:10: Humility, asking for the things you need, and comparing your pain to others
11:15: Loving your current self into becoming your authentic self
17:10: Navigating change in the face of social pressure
20:45: Intrinsic self-worth, and the beauty of being undefined
32:00: Intimacy and autonomy
40:05: Choosing vulnerability, and paying attention to surrounding influences
50:45: Healthy shared expectations in relationships
53:45: Forgiving others as a gift we give to ourselves
58:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
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We’re often told to “be true to ourselves:” to line-up the person we are on the outside with the person we are on the inside. In a word, to be authentic. But what does it really mean to “be who we are,” “get in touch with ourselves,” or to go full new-age “live in alignment with our higher purpose?”
In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what authenticity is, where it comes from, and whether it’s actually a good thing to be more authentic. They talk about what we really mean when we use the word “authenticity,” the fragmented nature of the self, and problems with unregulated self expression. They then turn towards how we can include all of ourselves, act from our values, and become at peace with who we are.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:35: How Rick thinks about authenticity
6:10: Congruence, presentation, and the difference between honest and good
13:45: A personal example of authenticity from Rick and Forrest
17:00: Self-disclosure as a factor of intimacy
19:45: What parts of ourselves are we being authentic to?
23:15: Vulnerability and aspiration
28:10: Carl Rogers’ idea of the perceived self and the ideal self
33:20: Is self-improvement authentic?
36:30: Unconditional positive regard, and embodiment
40:10: Naming what you’re feeling, the vastness of the psyche, and self-honesty
46:25: Having a secure environment for aspirational change
48:45: Individualism, social roles, and intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation
53:05: Archetypes, the shadow, and integration
59:20: Recap
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Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on getting the most we can out of therapy, processing old painful experiences, and sabotaging ourselves. They explore the self-fulfilling nature of fear, different forms of therapy and who they can benefit, and how to approach dealing with your mind in general.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: My relationship anxiety is sabotaging my relationship!
7:40: Getting more out of therapy
14:00: Should people with CPTSD do cognitive therapy?
19:45: What other kinds of modalities might be beneficial?
23:05: Rick’s “gardening theory of therapy”
29:10: When and how is it appropriate to talk with your adult children about your abusive childhood?
33:30: How can a therapist draw healthy boundaries with their friends?
39:15: How would you advise a person in their mid 20s just diagnosed with ADHD?
46:25: Forrest’s partner’s experience with ADHD medication
48:50: Reframing our understanding of a psychiatric diagnosis
52:00: Recap
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In our productivity-obsessed, always-on world it’s easy for busyness to become a badge of honor. But sometimes that effort-ing transforms from the reasonable pursuit of our goals into workaholism: a compulsive, even addictive drive to work. In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what workaholism is really, the psychological functions it serves, and how it relates to other addictive behaviors. You’ll learn both how to approach changing behaviors like workaholism in general and specific interventions that can help.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:20: Differentiating workaholism from working hard
9:40: Preempting criticism, and your internal audience
17:10: Competence, approval seeking, and motives
23:50: Addiction without social stigma
28:40: Population groups more prone to workaholism
33:50: The stages of change
37:45: Moving to the wider view, craving and regret
40:55: Embodying your future self, and social support
43:10: Identity, and creating a coherent narrative
46:00: Underlying feelings, mindfulness, and making choices
49:20: Distinguishing being and becoming
52:25: Tracking your time, and scheduling time off
54:50: Giving others influence over your behavior
56:20: Rick’s personal experience navigating a healthy work ethic
1:01:20: Recap
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Forrest and Rick sit down with Dr. Susan David, the creator of the concept of Emotional Agility. Emotional agility is what allows us to navigate our complex emotions, make choices aligned with our values, and ultimately lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.
They begin by discussing the four parts of emotional agility and distinguishing it from related concepts like emotional intelligence before exploring how we can “unhook” from our painful or problematic thoughts, feelings, and stories. They then explore how we can identify what really matters to us, act from those values, and find our footing in an ever-changing world.
About our Guest: Susan David, Ph.D. is an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist and the author of the #1 Bestseller Emotional Agility. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times, Washington Post, and Wall Street Journal, and her TED Talk on the topic of emotional agility has been seen by more than 10 million people.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Distinguishing emotional agility from emotional intelligence
5:00: The four parts of emotional agility
10:30: The value of seeing yourself and feeling seen by others
16:20: Continuity of self, and considering your future self
21:45: Ways to recognize our unhelpful patterns or ‘hooks’
26:40: Maintaining context for the full scope of our values
32:55: Defining the concept of values
35:50: Learning from discomfort, boredom, and anxiety
40:30: When you struggle to identify your values in the first place
46:05: Compassion and groundedness amidst constant change
52:40: Accurately labeling your stressors
58:30: Love and wisdom
1:00:00: Recap
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The only constant in life is change. Moments come and go, people enter and leave our lives, and we ourselves grow, change, and eventually pass away. While this is an obvious fact of life, we usually let it blend into the background, and coming face-to-face with it can fill us with understandable feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and even dread.
In this episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore impermanence anxiety: the fears we have related to change. They discuss “macro” and “micro” impermanence, terror management theory, the courage to care, fully embracing life, what tends to help people come to peace with impermanence, and how we can become more resilient in the face of change. Rick closes the episode by explaining how we can come more fully into the present moment, and see reality for what it truly is.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: Macro-impermanence and micro-impermanence
9:25: Terror management theory, and grasping the finality of bigger changes
14:50: Fully embracing your reality
26:25: Purpose, meaning, agency and acceptance
32:40: Why change is scary, and recognizing our own fragility
38:10: Repression, avoidance, and sublimation
47:05: A walkthrough of the stages of insight
54:30: Framing yourself in the broader reality, and letting go of painful things
57:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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Dr. Chris Palmer, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, joins Forrest to discuss the relationship between metabolic function and mental illness. They discuss Dr. Palmer’s work with patients suffering from severe conditions like schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, psychiatry’s current challenges with treatment-resistant conditions, and the important distinction between difficult psychological states and brain-based disorders. They then explore the relationship between mental illness and metabolic function, the key role mitochondria play in the process, and how current treatments impact our metabolism. Forrest and Dr. Palmer close the episode by discussing a number of practical interventions to improve metabolic function, including the ketogenic diet, sleep, exercise, stress management techniques like mindfulness practice, and even love, connection, and sense of purpose.
About our Guest: Dr. Chris Palmer is a board-certified psychiatrist and assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. His clinical practice focuses on helping people suffering from treatment-resistant mental illnesses, including mood disorders, psychotic disorders, and personality disorders. His newest book is Brain Energy: A Revolutionary Breakthrough in Understanding Mental Health.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: How Dr. Palmer's personal experience has influenced his work
4:00: The brain energy theory as a response to treatment resistant conditions
9:05: Mental states vs. mental disorders, and problems with our diagnostic criteria
14:25: Brain disorders as metabolic disorders
19:50: Defining metabolism
22:40: The role of mitochondria
28:45: How medication affects metabolism
35:20: How stress and emotions affect metabolism
41:40: The ketogenic diet, mitophagy, and mitochondrial biogenesis
47:40: The importance of education and support around ketosis for medical conditions
53:00: Supplementing medication with lifestyle change vs. replacing it
56:20: Sleep and light exposure
59:35: Love, connection, and sense of purpose
1:06:00: A sense of safety as a prerequisite for healing
1:09:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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Emotional intelligence is considered an essential trait for everything from being a desirable romantic partner to having a successful career. But what do we really mean when we say “emotional intelligence,” and how can we become emotionally intelligent over time? In today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss what’s “in” emotional intelligence, balancing emotional closeness and distance, and how we can become more self-aware, emotionally regulated, and empathic.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: What’s emotional intelligence?
4:25: Curiosity, care, and rational vs. emotional decision making
9:30: The five domains of emotional intelligence
11:30: Courage
18:40: Competence, capacity, and application
23:40: Anger, and discerning wants and needs
25:25: Self-awareness
30:20: The stories we are drawn to
33:20: Empathy
44:40: Self-regulation
48:50: Widening the space
51:45: The feelings beneath the feelings
53:00: Feeling overwhelmed, boundaries, and differentiation
1:01:10: Recap
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Our thoughts, emotions, and experiences can reshape the very structure of our brains, allowing it to adapt and change over time. This is known as neuroplasticity, and while it’s present throughout our lives the younger we are the more powerful it is.
On today’s episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf joins Rick and Forrest to explore how we can harness the power of neuroplasticity to clean up our mental mess…and teach our children to do the same. They detail Dr. Leaf’s five-step Neurocycle process, walk through a practical example, and explain how we can use mind-management tools to reshape our relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. Dr. Leaf then shares how we can introduce these tools to young people, the importance of nurturing a child's sense of agency, and the power of teaching through modeling.
About our Guest: Dr. Caroline Leaf is a clinical and cognitive neuroscientist who has been researching the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health, and the formation of memory for over 40 years. She’s the host of the top mental health podcast Cleaning Up The Mental Mess, and her newest book How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: The five steps of Dr. Leaf’s NeuroCycle
6:30: A walkthrough of the process using an example from Rick
13:50: Helping kids have a sense of agency in difficult environments
20:35: Teaching children through modeling, and building connection with different age groups
26:55: What motivates us to take action and reckon with our past
33:20: Empowering kids to have thoughts and feelings without ‘being’ them
35:20: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Over the last 10 years interest in therapy has boomed, and with the greater demand for therapists more people than ever are considering pursuing a career in mental health. On today’s episode Forrest speaks to five therapists and therapists-in-training to learn the lessons they wish they’d known when they started.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Intro
2:15: Rick Hanson
5:05: Key traits of good therapists
17:50: Questions a prospective therapist might not think to ask
25:00: Self-employement, emotional regulation, and boundaries
27:45: Efficacy, complacency, and respecting the craft
31:45: Lori Gottlieb
35:20: Emotional intimacy and human connection
38:50: Modalities
40:50: Vulnerability, uncertainty, and making mistakes
48:10: Terry Real
52:45: Learning how to heal yourself first
55:35: What therapy is actually like
59:30: Messiness
1:03:15: Elizabeth Ferreira
1:06:35: Somatics, and being yourself
1:11:50: How to suffer with someone, then let it move through you
1:16:45: Awareness and the bravery of owning what’s in the room
1:21:15: Chaos, and loving yourself
1:27:45: Taylor Banfield
1:34:00: Sitting with a client for the first time
1:37:45: Choosing a specific career path
1:39:10: Boundaries
1:43:15: Recap
About our Guests: Rick Hanson is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, New York Times best-selling author, and frequent guest on Being Well.
Lori Gottlieb is a practicing therapist in Los Angeles, and is the author of the bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.
Terry Real is a longtime clinician, the founder of the Relational Life Institute, and bestselling author of a number of books including Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.
Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate somatic psychotherapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. If you’d like to work with Elizabeth, you can reach out to her through her website or Instagram.
Taylor Banfield is a graduate student in the PsyD program at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California.
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Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest for a wide-ranging, open, and personal conversation. They explore dealing with anxiety and fear, sustaining a mindfulness practice, and accepting our nature while leaning into a new version of ourselves. Along the way they talk about the benefits and drawbacks of purely secular approaches to mindfulness, Dan’s recent time with the Dalai Lama, and why an “anti-sentimentalist” like Dan is writing a book about love.
About our Guest: Dan Harris is the author of the best-selling memoir 10% Happier, about a fidgety, skeptical news anchor who finds meditation. He’s also the host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast and the cofounder of the Ten Percent Happier meditation app. For 21 years, he worked at ABC News, where he anchored such shows as Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Dan’s history with panic attacks, and using exposure therapy
6:15: Pros and cons of mindfulness in a secular frame
9:15: Moving away from a purely secular frame
12:10: Dan’s current meditation practice
16:15: Sustaining practice, and the pros and cons of stubbornness
20:15: Passion and purpose without attachment
27:50: Dan’s takeaways from the Dalai Lama
30:45: Caring, sharing, and marking your virtuous moments
33:30: An ‘anti-sentimental’ look at love
44:50: Recognizing personal change
47:55: If you can’t be cheesy, you can’t be free
51:40: Recap
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Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how we can thoughtfully take the input of other people, identify and meet our needs, deal with anxiety and the fear of failure, and approach a conversation about drug use with teenagers. You’ll also learn strategies for reducing nighttime sleep anxiety, creating healthy boundaries, dealing with temperamental differences in a relationship, and finding peace and connection as a single person.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: How do process feedback from other people? What helps you accept what's useful...and leave the rest?
11:35: My extended family has gotten very distant. How do families tend to change over time?
23:40: I always feel like I'm about to be punished. What can I do?
33:15: How can we help teens navigate curiosity and peer pressure related to drugs, including psychedelics?
44:15: LIGHTNING ROUND!
45:15: Dealing with anxious thoughts before bedtime.
48:00: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.
51:10: My partner has ADHD. How can I encourage them to work on some problematic behaviors while respecting their nature?
56:40: Being at peace with being on our own.
1:00:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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There is a lot of complicated advice out there (including on this podcast) for how to improve our well-being. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick simplify the lessons they’ve learned from over 100 experts and 300 episodes. They explore the importance of individual context, focusing on what we can change even among difficult circumstances, the power of acceptance, influencing our attention, taking care of the body, social connection, and how we can identify, accept, and manage our unique needs.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction, and a disclaimer about generalizations
5:50: The belief that things can get better
14:20: How acceptance supports agency
24:55: Being thoughtful about what we consume, and where we place our attention
30:30: Bodily awareness and taking care of the body
36:50: Developing and appreciating strong social connections
41:50: Identifying our wants and needs
44:50: Identifying key values, setting goals, and letting those goals shape our lives
54:30: Recap
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Sponsors:
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In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of the most common, and most important, questions they get about attachment theory: can we heal our attachment wounds, and become more securely attached?
They explore the basics of attachment theory, whether people can change their attachment style, and how much change is truly possible. They then discuss some common frameworks for change, the power of positive experiences, and how we can break out of the “catch-22” of attachment wounds. The episode ends with practical advice for what an anxiously or avoidantly attached person could do to become more securely attached over time.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: An overview of how attachment develops
7:40: Four components involved in changing your attachment style
10:50: The difference between our tendencies and our behavior
12:40: The four stages of growth, and developing “conscious competency”
17:35: Recognizing the ways you’re included, seen, appreciated, liked, and loved
25:00: The role of individual effort, and the real driver of motivation
29:10: What helps anxious people become more securely attached
41:35: And what helps avoidant people
49:55: How to ground ourselves when people are unreliable
55:25: Recap
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Sponsors:
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The average human will live for roughly 4000 weeks. Foregrounding this can be a source of stress, leading us to constantly run from one task to another. Or, it can be a source of meaning and purpose, nudging us to focus on what really matters.
In this episode, Forrest is joined by bestselling author Oliver Burkeman for an exploration of what’s really at stake in what we call “time management”. You’ll learn why doing things faster only leaves you with more to do, the hidden payoffs of constant busyness, and how we can live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life by embracing its finite nature.
About our Guest: Oliver Burkeman is a bestselling author and journalist. His most recent book is Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and prior to that wrote The Guardian column titled, “This Column Will Change Your Life.” He writes and publishes a twice monthly email newsletter called “The Imperfectionist.”
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
0:55: Oliver’s movement towards “anti-productivity”
2:55: Doing fewer things more purposefully
4:55: Looking at your own experience, and the paradoxical notion of perfect efficiency
10:15: The wheel of craving, secondary gains, and grappling with our mortality
15:30: Procrastination and freedom from an ideal result
20:15: The poignancy of limited choice
22:50: Existential crisis, insight, and fulfillment
30:20: Organizing your daily schedule around your top priority
35:55: Frameworks for working within someone else’s schedule
39:45: The allure of middling priorities
41:40: Identifying our wants and needs, and choices that enlarge and diminish us
45:50: Five questions to ask yourself from Oliver’s book
50:00: Suffering from trying to find a solution, and life not being a ‘prologue’
57:35: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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We've all experienced that frustrating feeling of knowing that we should be doing something, and yet struggling to take action. Join Forrest and Dr. Rick as they explore how we can overcome avoidance and procrastination, unlock our motivation, and cultivate a "pursuit mindset."
They discuss intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, why extrinsic motivations aren’t such a bad thing, and how we can use our important values to set better goals and shape our behavior. You’ll learn why procrastination is based on fear, how to orient toward pursuit and see yourself as an agent of change, and the key role “getting good at liking” plays in this process.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:05: Intrinsic vs. external motivation
10:00: Identifying your intrinsic or “noncontingent” motivations
15:00: Self-determination theory (SDT)
19:35: Pursuit and prey orientation
28:25: The psychological function of procrastination
35:35: Learning what you like, and focusing on it
42:25: Meaning, purpose, pleasure, and satisfaction
46:20: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.
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Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Rick and Forrest are joined by award-winning journalist Michael Krasny for an episode focused on how to stay curious, navigate times of transition, and relate to the modern media landscape in healthy ways. They use Michael’s recent experience with “retirement” as a jumping off point to explore how we can embrace change and stay curious before diving into a conversation focused on the modern media landscape. Topics include bothsides-ism, navigating challenging conversations, and finding the balance between what “knowing mind” and “don’t know mind.”
About our Guest: Michael Krasny is the long-time host of the KQED Forum, and has interviewed some of the most prominent figures of the past 50 years, including Maya Angelou, Caesar Chavez, President Jimmy Carter, Carl Sagan, and President Barack Obama. Since retiring from the Forum, Michael has started his own podcast: Grey Matter with Michael Krasny.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What’s helped Michael navigate the transition to a new phase of life
3:45: Michael’s shift in identity post-KQED Forum
5:45: Curiosity and ‘usefulness’
8:10: Preparing for interviews
11:10: How Michael became an interviewer
14:10: Shakespeare characters, the anxiety of influence, and corporal punishment
23:10: How the function of media has changed over time
26:05: Bothsidesism and offering balanced viewpoints
30:40: ‘Always don’t know’, and not being captured by our strengths
33:45: Overpreparation, anxiety, and the role of an interviewer
38:20: The value of spacious conversation vs. discourse through sound bytes
40:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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If you’re tired of feeling stuck, this one’s for you. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can overcome learned helplessness and change our lives by developing self-efficacy: the ability to influence our environments and control our motivation and behavior. Key topics include why we get stuck, the science of learned helplessness, focusing on effort over talent, creating a growth mindset, and balancing acceptance and agency. You’ll learn how to improve self-efficacy, embrace who you are, and become truly confident in your ability to grow.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Why are we prone to feeling stuck?
4:45: Fear of failure and negativity bias
8:30: Learned helplessness and the dog study
18:05: Difficulties identifying patterns we’re close to
20:00: The biological function of shame
22:55 The connection between our emotions, our body, and our sense of self-efficacy
24:10: Chronic illness and pain, and recognizing what is and is not in your control
26:10: What is a growth mindset?
28:40: Nature and nurture, talent and effort, and our metrics of self-worth
35:00: Rick’s practical tips for improving self-efficacy (complete with soundtrack)
40:20: Creating a coherent self-narrative
42:35: An example from Forrest of claiming agency
46:20: Advice for someone in their late 20s when feeling stuck
51:40: Building on and reinforcing our successes
56:35: Determination
59:35: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how to overcome imposter syndrome, the common psychological experience of self-doubt and feeling like a fraud. You'll learn why even very accomplished, capable people experience imposter syndrome, strategies to break free from the cycle of self-doubt, and how to move away from comparison, embrace authenticity, and believe in yourself. Topics include how to build self-confidence, reframe negative self-perceptions, and find support from mentors and allies.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Defining imposter syndrome, and watching out for “construct creep”
9:25: Where the notion of imposter syndrome originates
11:30: Stages of development, trust, shame, and belonging
13:50: Myths around accomplishment, and when we’re actually good enough
16:30: The typical cycle of imposter syndrome
20:00: Why people get trapped in this cycle
25:00: Moving away from comparison
28:10: Shame about shame, and sharing authentically with others
32:15: What helps us face our fears
36:35: Acknowledging what you are not
40:15: Your locus of control, and how you interpret your experience
49:25: Mentors, role models, and allies
51:50: Recap
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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There’s an enormous amount of advice out there in the self-help world…and much of it isn’t very good. Jason Wachob, the Founder and Co-CEO of mindbodygreen, joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to separate fact from fiction and clarify what really matters. They explore the importance of finding joy in the well-being journey, simple practices that have stood the test of time, and how we can pursue goals in healthy ways. Specific topics include the importance of high-quality sleep, breathing better, sifting through diet and exercise fads, developing a pursuit mindset, hormetic stress, and finding the things that work for you.
About our Guest: Jason Wachob is the Founder and Co-CEO of mindbodygreen, one of the largest, most influential media brands in the wellness space. He’s also the host of the mindbodygreen podcast, and the co-author of The Joy of Well-Being: A practical guide to a happy, healthy, and long life.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Distinguishing well-being from wellness
3:50: Healthy change is joyful change
7:50: Having a pursuit mindset
11:30: Addressing the main objection to well-being
14:45: Present moment awareness
16:55: Box breathing and sleep
22:10: Jason’s background, and how identity dictates our behavior
32:20: Honoring your inner knowing
37:50: Finding your ‘why’
42:45: Good stress, and finding what works for you
46:40: Vulnerability with others
48:55: Feeling connected to the world
50:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Sponsors:
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how insights from attachment theory can transform our relationships. They discuss how attachment theory provides a map for understanding relationships, the challenges of making skills learned in therapy stick, and the role of vulnerability in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships. In this episode you'll learn how to use insights from attachment theory and EFT to create secure and emotionally healthy relationships.
About our Guest: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and hKey Topics:
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Why Sue created Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)
8:55: Relationships as bonds, not bargains
12:20: Attachment theory as a “map,” and getting skills to stick
16:50: What it feels like to be in a bonding conversation
26:15: Validating vulnerabilities and “finding the raw spot”
31:35: Changing the way you relate to yourself
36:20: EFT vs. Internal Family Systems
38:40: “The Amygdala Whisperer,” and creating a new experience
40:35: Inherent goodness, and naming helplessness
45:40: Communicating how much you value others
51:50: Individualism, and getting comfortable with vulnerability
59:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Sponsors:
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Forrest and Dr. Rick dive into the mailbag to answer questions from listeners. They explore age gaps in relationships, relating to people as ongoing processes, and avoiding having your personal growth practice turn you into a doormat. You’ll learn how to develop authentic self-worth, how to allow both “positive” and “negative” motivations to pull you in a good direction, and how to balance determinism with personal responsibility. The episode closes with a question about supporting people trapped in dysfunctional family systems.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Question 1: I feel like my personal growth practice is causing others to take advantage of me. What can I do?
8:55: Question 2: Do age gaps in relationships matter?
19:55: Relating to others as ongoing processes
22:40: Question 3: Given all the things we don’t control, how responsible is anyone for their behavior?
28:30: Thinking in terms of plausible ranges of outcomes
33:20: Question 4: How can I learn to accept myself and improve my self-worth?
41:50: Question 5: I can’t tell if I’m motivated by “good” desires…or just my fear of never measuring up.
49:00: What comes along with challenging experiences
54:15: Question 6: How can an older sibling help a younger sibling in a dysfunctional family system?
1:04:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Sponsors:
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Forrest Hanson welcomes Dr. Benjamin Hardy to explore how we can create massive change by applying "10x thinking.” This mindset involves embracing a radically different version of ourselves and our lives, and they share how we can apply it to our daily lives, learn to act from our future selves, and move past defensiveness and fear. You’ll learn how our past and future selves are with us in the present, how fixating on authenticity can hinder our growth, and how to break free from old patterns and create a more fulfilling life.
About our Guest: Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and author of 8 books, including Personality Isn’t Permanent, Willpower Doesn’t Work, and his newest book 10x is Easier Than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More by Doing Less.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:20: Linear vs. 10x thinking and the 80/20 principle
4:30: Having an honesty filter, and making transformational change
6:15: Using the 80/20 principle to act in alignment with your future self
10:45: Agency as the belief in possibility
14:30: The inherent discomfort of orienting to a positive future
17:55: Psychological sunk costs
19:40: How believing in a “core self” holds us back
24:50: What helps us break through defensiveness and fear of failure
29:10: The present shapes the meaning of the past, and why that’s useful
35:10: Developing a coherent narrative and creating space to transform
37:45: Recognizing the cost of not changing, and future awareness creating fulfilment
43:55: The present as simply the present
46:50: “After the Ecstasy, The Laundry”, and 10x thinking being counterintuitive
48:55: Practical steps to engage in a 10x process of thinking
55:50: Recap
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Buddhist teacher Mark Coleman joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to share how we can learn from nature and incorporate it into our practice. Mark shares his insights and experiences from years of leading wilderness retreats, and explains how reconnecting with the natural world can deepen mindfulness and enhance our well-being. You’ll learn specific meditative practices, how to bring the outside inside, the power of our “wild” aspects, and how we can move from being in nature to simply being nature.
About our Guest: Mark Coleman is a senior meditation teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in northern California, and the founder of Awake in the Wild, an organization that runs programs focused on immersing people in the natural world. He’s also the author of four books, including From Suffering to Peace: The True Promise of Mindfulness and his newest book A Field Guide to Nature Meditation: 52 Mindfulness Practices for Joy, Wisdom and Wonder.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: What drew Mark to practice in nature
5:15: Being drawn outward by meditation
9:20: Access to nature, and “bougie-fication”
15:15: Novelty, acclimation, and quieting the “self”
20:25: The brutal side of nature, and uncertainty
25:05: Reciprocity and relationship
28:05: From appreciating nature to being nature
30:15: Searching for a place vs. searching for a feeling
35:50: What meditating in nature looks like in practice
41:40: Bringing the benefits of practice to the mundane
45:05: “A bunch of tame monkeys”
49:15: Recap
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Forrest and Dr. Rick delve into a frequently requested topic: how we can let go of obsessive and intrusive thoughts. They explore why we get trapped in certain thoughts, the negative effects of rumination, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). They also discuss facing our fears, which allows us to get close enough to a problem that we can do something about it…without getting so close that we become overwhelmed by it.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What is rumination?
5:00: Why we get stuck in certain thoughts
8:10: Two kinds of obsessive thoughts
11:00: The brains attempt to problem solve
13:40: Assessing a hypothetical client
20:15: We all have weird thoughts
22:35: Reality testing, naming thoughts and not feeding them
25:20: "Completing the gestalt"
31:40: Rick completing a gestalt on psychedelics
33:45: Balancing closeness and distance
39:45: Exaggerating the obsession vs. thought suppression
42:35: Widening your view and surrendering to the worst
44:50: The intrinsic emptiness of a ruminative thought
48:10: Another hypothetical case study
56:10: Doing good in the world as an antidote
59:30: Recap
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Cognitive bypassing occurs when we overthink to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions like sadness, fear, or anger. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick share their personal experiences with cognitive bypassing, and explore how we can step out of our heads, get in touch with our emotions, and live a more fulfilling life. You'll learn why people can't just "feel their feelings," the function of cognitive bypassing, how we can use cognition to create space for our emotions, and practical tools for connecting with the non-cognitive aspects of our experience.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What is cognitive bypassing?
3:05: How cognitive bypassing comes up in therapy
6:10: The function of cognitive bypassing
11:10: Does insight lead to action?
18:45: “Feel your feelings” vs. self-actualizing
24:50: Leveraging your cognition to create space from your feelings
30:00: Body sensations and self-compassion
33:15: Relating to others
38:55: Practical steps to being in touch with yourself
42:20: Intensity, valence, and opening to empathy
45:15: Rigidity and resistance
50:00: The range of possibilities within your constraints
56:35: Recap
NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off.
Sponsors:
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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ADHD is often misunderstood as a simple "lack of attention." But in this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by ADHD pioneer Dr. John Ratey to explore the true nature of this complex condition. They debunk common misconceptions, explore how ADHD works in the brain, and discuss its surprising strengths and vulnerabilities. You’ll learn how to thrive with ADHD by applying effective interventions, including social connection, mindfulness practice, medication, and exercise.
About our Guest: Dr. John Ratey is associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of eleven books including Spark and the Driven to Distraction series with Dr. Ned Hallowell. Their newest book in the series is the fantastic ADHD 2.0
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Some of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD
3:35: The advantages of having ADHD
5:55: De-pathologizing, skillful means, and the problem of “fit”
9:25: The variety of presentations
12:10: A trait, not a disorder
13:55: The task-positive network, and the default mode network
18:20: Three ways to turn off the default mode network
22:20: The importance of social connection
25:35: Feeling like an outsider, and being punished for having ADHD
28:45: Deliberate internalization of beneficial experiences
31:40: Why exercise and movement is particularly useful for ADHD
34:45: Dance as an ideal form of exercise
39:50: Jump rope, and right amount of exercise
41:15: Nature and the afflictions of civilization
44:25: Medication
51:15: Recap
Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Join Forrest and Dr. Rick, two “reformed rigid people,” as they explore how to become more psychologically flexible. Just as physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It enables us to approach situations from new perspectives, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being.
In this episode, they discuss the concept of rigidity as a form of psychological defense and explore the motivations behind it. They also delve into the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, the importance of releasing attachments, and the benefits of embracing new ways of thinking.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed
2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship
7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices
10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection
15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end
17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities
20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you
23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs
27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change
34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’
39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity
41:35: Over-identification with goals and accomplishments
44:40: Stepping into the river
45:20: Recap
Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Author Stephanie Foo joins Forrest to share her journey with Complex PTSD. They talk about what it was like to receive a diagnosis, the various techniques and modalities she used (and what really helped), the importance of social support, self-acceptance and self-compassion, difficulties with access and cultural competence in the mental healthcare system, intergenerational trauma, and motherhood.
About Our Guest: Stephanie is a writer and radio producer whose work has been featured on This American Life, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab among other shows, and she’s the author of the truly wonderful book What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimer
2:10: Stephanie’s experience in sharing her story
6:00: Features of CPTSD
7:50: What led Stephanie to seek help, and work as a coping mechanism
10:15: “The Dread” and healing through relationship
17:40: The effects of receiving diagnosis, and aspects of CPTSD that are helpful
25:45: Practices that helped Stephanie and incorporating them practically
33:45: Balancing showing up for other people and receiving care
35:15: Self-love, gratitude, psychedelics, and relationships
38:20: Two way repair and comfort receiving feedback
42:55: The need for reform to our mental healthcare system and who it serves
49:55: Societal trauma among first generation immigrants
53:30: More natural and communal frameworks for healing
54:30: Parenthood
57:00: Resources available on Stephanie’s website
58:15: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most of what's occurring in the mind lies outside our awareness. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the unconscious mind and the material we might find there. They talk about what the unconscious mind is, the purpose of the unconscious, repression, bias, and what we can do to access, use, and release that unconscious material.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:25: What is the unconscious mind?
5:35: Why material gets moved to our unconscious mind
8:45: Freud, Jung, and repression
14:25: Looking at repression through a developmental model
18:55: Bias, relational ‘scripts’, and what we can do about unconscious patterns
21:45: Interpreting dreams, and the limits of science
27:55: Examples of repressed material and how to uncover it
30:05: Rick’s first love story
34:20: Emotional release work you can do without a therapist
38:00: Distress tolerance
42:10: The body-based, non-cognitive nature of unconscious material
44:10: Sentence completions, automatic writing, and sand trays
47:00: Building self-worth, and creating a safe container
54:50: Teaching what you need to learn, and the importance of support
57:30: Including what’s left out
1:00:00: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On the (roughly) 300th episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick share what they’ve learned from the many experts in psychology, personal growth, and mental health they’ve talked to on the show. They explore the importance of individual context, the gap between insight and action, self-honesty and acceptance as the catalyst for change, incremental change vs. sudden breakthroughs, and the role of distress tolerance.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and two big themes
2:25: Applying generalized information to your individual context
7:50: The importance of insight and where it falls short
9:20: White light moments and the importance of action
13:25: Wants and needs
25:40: Slow and steady effort
29:35: Going to zero and the scaffolding that leads to sustained change
36:15: Distress tolerance, valuing acceptance, and what you know to be true
41:25: The three mechanisms of change
44:25: Reducing inner friction through mental training, and cultivating trust
47:50: How do you want to use your time?
49:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira returns to the podcast and joins Forrest for a deep dive into somatic psychology. They explore what a somatic therapy session looks like in practice, how it differs from traditional talk therapy, the connection between the body and the mind, and why people with complex trauma are sometimes better served by body-based approaches. Elizabeth then talks about how somatic therapy has supported her own journey with CPTSD and PMDD, and shares some of the practices that have helped her clients.
About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate therapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her practice is open, and if you’d like to reach out to Elizabeth you can do so through Instagram. Elizabeth also has her own podcast, My Therapist's a Witch.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What happens in a somatic therapy session?
5:00: Attunement and a quick demonstration
9:55: Moving slowly and navigating dissociative patterns
12:45: Cognitive bypassing and catharsis in letting go
15:40: Trauma and integrating alienated parts of ourselves
21:15: Elizabeth’s experience feeling anger
25:30: When the thing that brings you into therapy isn’t the root of your problem
29:00: Safety allowing comfort with feeling difficult feelings
31:40: Interoception, physical embodiment, and more on attunement
35:50: Clean and dirty pain, different parts, and appreciation
40:25: Resistance, joining with the defense, and compassion
44:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you listen to a podcast like ours, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “daddy issues.” A more accurate way to understand daddy issues is as a form of attachment wounding, which describes situations where our adult relationships are affected by complicated, difficult, or traumatic experiences we had as a child.
In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what daddy issues are, how they relate to attachment theory, sexism and the broader social and historical context, different forms of attachment wounding, and a simple way to understand your attachment style. They then walk through four common sets of symptoms and challenges related to attachment wounding, and what a person can do to move toward secure attachment.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: What are daddy issues?
6:35: Parental roles and symptoms of attachment wounding
13:35: How attachment patterns are created
19:35: Yearning for narcissistic supplies
22:10: Gendered dynamics, and the pejorative use of the phrase “daddy issues”
28:20: Claiming your power
31:15: Forming a coherent narrative, and looking for what was missing
34:50: A simple method for assessing your attachment style
41:50: Social support
44:10: Who you are to others, and meeting person to person
50:55: Situation #1: How to deal with fears of abandonment and being alone
55:00: Situation #2: “I need a lot of reassurance and external validation.”
58:10: Situation #3: Fears related to emotional vulnerability
1:05:15: Situation #4: “I keep dating the same (problematic) kind of person.”
1:10:30: Making deliberate effort
1:14:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Eric Zimmer, a behavior coach and the host of The One You Feed podcast, joins Forrest and Rick to explore what really supports us in changing our ingrained patterns of behavior through the lens of Eric’s journey with addiction and recovery. They share the key lessons from speaking with hundreds of experts, the role of insight, why some people go from insight to action and others don’t, acceptance, shame, and responsibility, and the balance between determinism and agency.
About our Guest: Eric is a behavior coach, interfaith spiritual director, and host of The One You Feed, which has over 500 episodes and 25 million downloads. At 24, Eric was homeless and addicted to heroin. In the years since he’s been in recovery, built a meaningful and fulfilling life for himself, and has used the lessons from his own life to help others do the same.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:25: The parable of the two wolves
7:45: Applying our values to our own mental processes
13:00: Change as a three part process: insight, acceptance, and action
14:50: Why some people have an easier time changing than others
19:30: Continuous feedback, quick iterations, and where you rest your mind
23:00: Do we all have the same level of choice?
26:40: Shame, and differing interventions for differing levels of agency
32:40: Feeding the good wolf
40:35: How to want what’s good for us
47:10: Acceptance, responsibility, and beginner’s mind
50:10: What’s missing from the abstinence model?
52:20: Innate goodness, bumping into enlightenment, and self-compassion
1:01:50: “Devote yourself to what remains”
1:03:55: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families
8:25: Differentiation and integration
10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system
12:15: The role of love
19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict
26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic
30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event
35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent)
39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability
46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed
56:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book
1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling
3:40: The importance of the way something is said
8:10: Disentangling tone from content
9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact
12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict
17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm
25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation
29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening
35:45: Trust
39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate?
41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back
43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth
46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself
49:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The main topic we explore on the podcast, in many different ways, is change. How can we come to understand ourselves better, let go of who we were, and become who we wish to be? In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by meditation teacher and former Zen monastic Caverly Morgan. They discuss how we can release our conditioning, identify the inner voice that leads to change, and get to the heart of who we are.
About Our Guest: Caverly is a meditation teacher, author, and the founder of Peace in Schools - a nonprofit which created the nation's first for-credit mindfulness class in public high schools. Her practice began in 1995, and has included eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She’s also the author of the wonderful new book The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Caverly’s path to Zen
3:30: Truth and freedom
7:20: Chop wood, carry water
8:30: Why it’s okay to have a “conventional” path to enlightenment
9:35: The voice that says “is this all there is?”
12:25: Distinguishing our conditioning from what we really want
15:40: What supports us in exercising our will
21:20: Resistance, preference, and willingness
23:25: Responding to “should”
29:10: Our will and our ego
35:30: Making room for our own nurturing voice
37:35: Practical ways to listen to the heart
40:40: Awakening together
47:20: Coming home to our own being at the simplest level
50:30: Recap
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Before becoming the “Buddhist brain guy” Dr. Rick spent over 30 years working in private practice as a couples counselor and family therapist. Today we’re leaning on that experience, and learning what we can do to build healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationships.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and Rick’s upcoming book
3:20: The importance of deliberate action in making a relationship
5:50: 6 practical steps from Rick’s new book
10:05: The relationship we have with ourselves
13:10: When others don’t want the same thing
18:50: Rick’s recurring observations in relationship counseling
25:00: Balancing intimacy and autonomy, and asserting what you want
30:50: Staying on topic and establishing thorough agreements
36:25: Sticking to our needs without alienating others
37:45: Tolerating discomfort
40:20: Getting to truth with others
41:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We often know what we “should” do, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do it. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. Jordyn Feingold to explore how we can learn to consistently choose our best selves, overcome barriers to growth, and fully actualize ourselves.
About our Guests: Scott is a cognitive scientist, humanistic psychologist, professor at Columbia University, host of the popular Psychology Podcast, and the author of 10 books, including Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. Jordyn is a resident physician in psychiatry, a well-being researcher, and a positive psychology practitioner. Together, they’re the authors of the recently released Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Why the title Choose Growth?
3:50: Balancing growth and discomfort
7:20: The value of social support
12:00: Growth from positive experiences
14:15: Mindset
15:40: 8 ways to choose growth
16:35: Building self-esteem and distinguishing it from narcissism
24:55: Becoming a transcender
29:25: Transcending dichotomies
34:15: Practicing self-compassion
36:50: The underlying ground
41:30: Creativity and healing
46:00: Daily positive medicine for collective growth
50:15: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills.
On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:55: Why do you want to change?
4:50: Four fundamental strategies
7:00: Three common issues
9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck
12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not
13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself
17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs
24:15: Levity and affection for yourself
27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior
30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change
34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame
39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies
42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing
46:40: Recap
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We’ve come to the end of another year, and it’s a good time to take stock and consider how we’d like to grow and change during our next trip around the sun. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on what supports us and what holds us back from reinventing ourselves and becoming all we wish to be. They talk about how they’d like to change over the next year, different approaches to new year’s resolutions, do a little digging around in Forrest’s psyche, and highlight a few practical things we can do to support our growth.
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year’s sale is going on now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Different frameworks around goals and intentions
6:15: Forrest’s goal: more freedom, less constraint
8:50: Integrating the mundane and the profound
11:35: What supports us in changing? What constrains us?
13:35: Mentors, and other sources of encouragement
22:00: Reverting to old patterns when returning to old environments
28:00: Self-acceptance makes change possible
29:45: “Trim tabs” and other forms of psychological leverage
35:30: Diligence, effort, and consistency
37:50: Addressing deficits and reassuring yourself
40:30: Relaxing around inevitability
41:40: Embracing the joy of possibility and change
46:35: Recap
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We think of stress as “bad” for you, but what if some forms of stress could actually help us grow and change for the better? On today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Dr. Elissa Epel, a psychologist and leading stress researcher, to explore the science behind the stress response. They talk about the different forms of stress, what separates “good” stress from “bad” stress, how we can take advantage of good stress, and dealing with existential forms of stress like the climate crisis.
About our Guest: Elissa Epel is a psychologist, bestselling author, and a Professor and Vice Chair in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. Her research focuses on stress, well-being, and optimal aging. She’s also the best-selling co-author of The Telomere Effect, and her newest book is The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease.
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 40% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: Toxic stress vs. hormetic stress
6:30: Challenge orientation vs. threat response
11:35: Simple anchoring practices and their effects
17:00: Autophagy
19:00: Practical consequences of different forms of stress
25:25: Distinguishing physiological from psychological stress
31:00: Comfort with uncertainty and shared existential concerns
40:20: The future of the planet and its inequities
42:40: Recap
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what we want them to be – so we need to either do something to change them or accept them as they are.
On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on how we can get better at receiving and giving criticism, learn to accept what lies outside of our control, and avoid the “mood of complaint.”
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and critiques of the podcast
4:45: Where we place our attention
8:00: Two kinds of complaint
8:55: Self-righteousness and identifying with our complaints
11:25: What do we hope to accomplish by complaining?
13:15: Sharing experience vs. asserting information
18:35: Developing relationships where your vulnerability is welcome
24:45: Projecting your unclear desires on other people
28:10: How to respond to negative feedback and manage your reactions
32:00: Releasing attachment to changing others and responding to trolls
39:00: Complaints come from emotional dissatisfaction
43:45: Recap
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“All the time I work with dying people, and only a few of them know they are dying.”
On this episode of Being Well, Soto Zen teacher Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison joins Forrest and Rick to explore living, dying, and personal practice in the midst of our beautiful, challenging, messy lives.
About our Guest: Sensei Koshin is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. He began his formal Zen training in 1987 and completed six years of training at the Jungian Psychoanalytic Association. His most recent book is Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Koshin’s got game
3:20: The privilege of witnessing the dying process
11:25: Difficult emotions that come up when considering death
16:00: Entanglement vs. spaciousness
28:30: Windows of acceptance, and the things we don’t want to accept
33:15: Compassionate presence
37:55: How Jungian training has influenced Koshin’s contemplative practice
42:35: What Koshin is still untangling, and the ground of being
48:30: Appreciating being alive
51:45: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
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We’re living in an anxious time, and part of the reason we’re anxious is because there are very real challenges we face both individually and collectively. But we’re also affected by the natural tendencies of the brain, which is easily influenced by fear and threat. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how we can see threats clearly and be the “right amount” of concerned.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: Why is it hard for us to see threats without excessive worry?
3:35: Transcending evolutionary influences toward fear
6:30: The last time Rick took LSD
10:45: Discerning what’s valuable in our anxieties, and leaving the rest
15:45: Forrest’s apartment fire story
17:35: Disagreements in evaluating a threat between people
21:55: Probability of risk
25:00: Practical techniques to assess threats with more clarity
29:30: Existential acceptance
33:30: Help for anxiety about anxiety
37:15: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
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Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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These days couples often shoot for 50/50 in their relationships: an even split of responsibilities in the home or at work. But 50/50 often leads to fights over fairness, and this fixation on fairness can be the death of many relationships.
On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Nate and Kaley Klemp to explore how we can build fun, fulfilling, and truly equitable relationships. Topics include Nate and Kaley’s early relationship struggles, different models of relationship, breaking out of old patterns, and how we can manage situations where one partner really is contributing significantly more than the other.
About our Guests: Kaley Klemp is an executive coach and expert on small-group dynamics, and Nate Klemp is a bestselling author and founding partner at Mindful, one of the world's largest mindfulness media and training companies. Together, they’re the co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Nate and Kaley’s personal relationship as a basis for their work
5:30: Three different models of relationship
9:30: Two pillars to 80/80 - mindset and structure
12:20: How a 50/50 dynamic caused problems for Nate and Kaley
19:20: The conscious or unconscious division of roles
21:30: Gratitude and generosity
25:40: Parenting, shared success, and being on a team
32:15: Getting your partner’s buy-in, reveal and request
39:50: Underlying beliefs and power imbalances
44:20: Creating structure (and data) to have difficult conversations
49:30: Distinguishing a reluctant partner from an unwilling partner
52:05: Key skills that distinguish successful couples
56:10: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.
Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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If you’re the kind of person who listens to mental health podcasts, you’re more likely than average to get pulled into an impromptu “helping role” with your family and friends. Sometimes we seek out these roles, but they can also be uncomfortable or one-sided. And sometimes we get stuck playing a role for someone else that we never wanted in the first place.
On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick use this situation as a way in to exploring the various roles we play in life, and the profound impact those often unconscious roles have on us. They talk about relationship models, how we select our roles, how familiar roles can keep us trapped in old patterns, enactments and triangulation, and how we can exit unhealthy systems.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:50: The hazards of accidentally becoming a friend’s therapist
6:45: Objectivity, professionalism, and not needing to be liked
11:00: The roles we take on and how they shape us
16:45: Why we choose certain roles, and being crippled by our strengths
21:00: Enactments
25:15: Splitting
30:10: When someone else pushes you into a role
35:10: Triangulation
48:10: Deep listening and a lesson from Carl Rogers
51:10: Practical tips for drawing boundaries in your roles with others
59:40: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.
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It’s one thing to feel good about what we do, and another to feel truly worthy from the inside out. When we increase our self-worth it allows us to take our needs more seriously, get on our own side, and change our lives for the better.
On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest explore how we can develop a more durable sense of self-worth. They talk about self-worth vs. self-esteem, what causes people to lack self-worth, Rick’s personal story of developing a true sense of worthiness, and why more self-worth probably won’t turn you into a narcissistic a**hole.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: The value of self-worth
2:50: Will improving my self-worth turn me into a narcissist?
5:45: What makes people more likely to struggle with self-worth?
6:50: Distinguishing self-worth from self-esteem
9:30: Rick’s own journey to a better sense of self-worth
14:55: Inner attacker, inner nurturer, and the beleaguered self.
19:15: The process of building up your nurturing parts
27:20: Investigating negative stories we tell ourselves
30:55: Mutual rapport and being loving
33:40: Social aspects of developing self worth, and why therapy works
36:50: Non-social aspects
38:20: Relating to yourself from a less ego-oriented perspective
44:40: Vulnerability and tenderness in our interactions with others
46:05: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.
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Diego Perez, widely known by his pen name Yung Pueblo, joins Forrest to explore how we can deepen our personal practice, refine the mind, break old patterns, relax the self, and feel lighter than we were before.
This was one of my absolute favorite conversations I’ve had on the podcast, and being with Diego was a real pleasure. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
About our Guest: Diego Perez is a poet, meditator, and New York Times bestselling author widely known through his pen name Yung Pueblo. His writing focuses on how we can grow and change for the better, create healthy relationships, and come to truly know ourselves. His newest book is Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
0:55: Why the name Yung Pueblo?
2:35: What holds most people back from growth
4:35: Habits Diego struggled with and the logical basis of coping mechanisms
9:15: Moments of insight in learning Vipassana Meditation
11:40: Finding stability in the gradual separation from the ‘self’
20:30: Stories others have told us about ourselves
26:50: What has helped Diego find a flexible sense of identity?
28:55: Relationships as a process not a person
31:20: Diego’s personal meditation and creative practice
34:15: The benefits of a pen name and healthy detachment from your work
40:00: Benefits and pitfalls of social media
42:50: Forrest’s meditation practice, and the positive aspects of difficult emotions
48:25: What Diego would tell his younger self.
50:30: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We all make mistakes in life. When we do it's important to take appropriate responsibility, feel the "wince," and make amends as we can. But after we've done that...then what? Many people find it easier to forgive others than they do to truly forgive themselves, and it's not uncommon to be burdened by excessive shame and guilt that has outlived its expiration date.
On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore forgiveness, including how we can forgive ourselves. This includes common myths and misunderstandings about forgiveness, the difference between healthy and unhealthy forms of shame and remorse, coming to terms with what we've done, and a roadmap to achieving (self-)forgiveness.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:05: Assumptions, approval, and what forgiveness is and is not
7:45: What does healthy remorse look like?
10:00: Forrest exploring a dream about appropriate remorse
13:00: Our internalized justice system
17:00: More on dreams and internal parts
24:25: Aspects of unhealthy remorse
27:30: How to move through a recurring cycle of shame and unhealthy remorse
32:30: Proportionality, defensiveness, intention, and owning your mistakes
41:00: Clean pain and dirty pain
46:55: Some concrete practices
51:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! For just the cost of a cup of coffee a month you can support the show, and receive a variety of bonuses in return.
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On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, the author of The Body Keeps the Score, joins Rick and Forrest to explore how trauma keeps us stuck, and how we can use imagination, self-expression, and creativity to break away from those old patterns. Along the way they talk about using somatic and non-cognitive interventions, internalized abuse, the value of a developmental perspective, using psychedelics for complex trauma, some of the problems with modern psychiatry, and how we can cultivate an equitable, flexible, and compassionate approach to treatment.
About Our Guest: Bessel van der Kolk is a professor of Psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine and president of the Trauma Research Foundation in Brookline, Massachusetts. He’s also the bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score, which is one of the most influential modern books in the field.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Imagination and aspirational thinking in healing trauma
4:55: Creativity and cultural context
6:10: Where a sense of agency begins
8:40: Why people internalize abuse
16:30: The many practices for redefining past traumas
22:10: The state of psychedelic research and the importance of patient care
29:15: The need for new approaches to diagnosis and treatment
34:00: Issues with the DSM-5 and the need to integrate interpersonal processes
38:50: What counts as trauma? Collective trauma?
42:25: The need for cooperative strategies confronting trauma in pro-social movements
45:15: What helps people resource themselves to create change?
51:45: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest answer questions from listeners. They explore what they’re still working on in their relationship, how we can disengage from obsessive thoughts and old patterns, Rick’s thoughts on psychedelics and how they can be used with discernment, their views on whether human nature is innately cooperative or competitive, and much more.
If you’d like to ask a question to be answered on the show, send us an email at [email protected] or support us on Patreon.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: What do Rick and Forrest still find challenging in their relationship?
8:40: What to do with obsessive thoughts
17:00: What to do when old patterns creep up
26:35: Rick’s thoughts on taking psychedelics with intention outside of therapy
35:05: Respect for indigenous tradition around psychedelic plant use
37:00: Interpretation, discernment, and drugs as telescopes
42:45: Compassionate justice vs. holding and controlling
47:50: How do we get the ideas we have about the world?
53:25: Recap
Sponsors:
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In 2016 Jason Kander was a rising star in the Democratic Party. After narrowly losing the race to become one of Missouri’s Senators, he began laying the groundwork for a Presidential run. Jason unexpectedly pivoted to declaring his candidacy for the 2019 Kansas City mayoral election, and quickly became the clear favorite. Three months into that campaign he ended his candidacy and stepped back from public life after revealing that he had suffered from PTSD and depression after serving as an intelligence officer in Afghanistan in 2006 and 2007
On today’s episode of Being Well, Jason joins Forrest to talk about his personal journey recovering from PTSD, the impact of his time serving in Afghanistan, imposter syndrome and shame, having a mental health challenge in public, and what we can do to better support veterans.
About our Guest: Jason is a former Missouri Secretary of State and member of the Missouri state legislature. He’s current the President of National Expansion at Veterans Community Project, a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting veteran suicide and homelessness. He’s also the host of Majority 54, a popular political podcast, and the author of Invisible Storm: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD.
If you're in crisis, are thinking about suicide, or are concerned about a loved one, please call 1-800-273-8255. The Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Jason’s experience coming to accept having PTSD
3:45: Symptoms
5:50: How the military (mostly doesn't) address PTSD
8:00: Chronic stress, public perception, feelings of failure, and uncertainty of recovery
13:40: Jason’s Veterans Affairs (VA) experience
15:40: Veteran's Community Project and other resources for veterans
20:00: Therapeutic practices Jason did
27:50: Physical sensations associated with PTSD
31:40: Imposter syndrome related to being a combat veteran
33:05: Working through shame and comparison
36:15: How Jason’s view of therapy progressed through the process
42:30: What Jason would do differently for his mental health if he ran for office again
47:05: More on Veterans Community Project and their tiny house program
51:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.
In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs.
7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges
8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points
11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people
15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models
26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication
28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain
32:10: Keeping agreements
37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair
39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication
43:00: Generosity
45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need
49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort
52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?”
54:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!
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Everyone has needs, but many people find it difficult to identify what authentically matters to them. Even when we can identify them, shame or fear often stops us from expressing those needs to others or taking the practical steps that would help us achieve them.
Meeting our needs is a major source of well-being, and people who can identify their needs are more likely to get them met. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to look inside, and figure out what you really need. They discuss different frameworks for categorizing our needs, what to do when we are confused by our desires, and how to get in touch with what you really want.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:05: Common features among people who struggle to name their desires
7:05: Three basic steps to relate to wants and needs
8:00: Different frameworks for categorizing wants and needs
21:00: What helped Rick get in touch with his own wants and needs?
28:00: An experiential exercise
35:10: Why addressing your needs and wants is not just naval gazing
38:40: Forrest’s suggestions based on his own experience
45:25: What to do when what we want is probably not best for us
51:40: Creating a personal manifesto
54:30: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
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Renowned physician Dr. Gabor Maté joins Rick and Forrest to explore the many problems for our bodies and minds that arise out of our modern culture, and what we can do to meet our needs, heal ourselves, and become more whole. They discuss our increasing separation from one another, issues with aspects of the medical model, the true nature of addiction, the developmental needs of children, the myth of “normal,” and recovering from traumatic experiences.
About Our Guest: Dr. Gabor Maté is one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, addiction, and childhood development. His work has had an enormous impact on how we understand the interactions between our internal world and the world around us, and he is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Scattered Minds, and his newest book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: What Gabor means by a toxic culture
4:25: Interpersonal biology - our physiology is modulated by our relationships
7:10: What components are needed for a healthy culture?
11:55: Examples of toxic culture’s impact on people’s behavior
15:20: Addiction
21:00: How and when to distinguish degrees of trauma
27:05: Where and when to express healthy anger
33:10: How turning against the self manifests as illness
36:45: What supports people in returning to their authentic nature?
40:00: Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and creating a sacred context
41:45: Grief, integration, and letting go
44:55: Gabor’s relationship with his children
48:25: Five kinds of compassion, disillusionment, and truth
51:20: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
53:25: Recap
New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.
Sponsors:
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We all have narcissistic traits. Having some sense of our own specialness isn’t just normal, it’s actually psychologically healthy. The problems start when people go beyond normal levels, and become addicted to feeling special. On this episode, Forrest is joined by Dr. Craig Malkin to explore narcissism and narcissistic traits. They talk about the different forms narcissism takes, the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), red flags, dealing with narcissists, treatment options, and finding the “right amount” of feeling special.
About our Guest: Dr. Malkin is a Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School, a licensed psychologist with several decades of clinical experience, and the author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists. He also has a great YouTube channel.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Narcissism as a pervasive universal trait
4:10: What differentiates healthy narcissism vs. disordered narcissism?
5:45: “Triple E” - exploitation, entitlement, empathy impairments
6:45: Incapable of empathy, or unmotivated?
9:10: What distinguishes having narcissistic traits from having NPD?
13:05: Extraverted, covert, and communal narcissism
23:10: Healthy and unhealthy narcissistic traits often go together
25:20: Insecure attachment
28:30: Emotional hot potato
32:10: Social and cultural power dynamics
36:25: What does healing narcissism look like?
42:55: What modalities do you use in therapy?
45:20: Difficult relationships, communal activation, empathy prompts
50:35: Extinction bursts and using anxiety responses in therapy
53:25: How do you repair with your partner?
57:05: Recap
Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We all experience big, difficult feelings, from common emotions like uncertainty, anger, despair, and regret, to difficult experiences like the pains of comparison, burnout, and perfectionism. On today’s episode of Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by the wonderful author, coach, and content creator Mollie West Duffy to explore how we can accept those big feelings, learn to live alongside them, and develop tools that help us deal with them more effectively.
About Our Guest: Mollie is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership who has helped advise and coach executives and founders at companies including Google, Casper, and LinkedIn. She’s the co-author of the bestselling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and the recently released Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, and is also one half of the Instagram account, @lizandmollie.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Why is Mollie’s new book called Big Feelings?
5:10: The useful flip side
6:45: How Mollie’s relationship to anger changed during the creation of this book
9:20: Difficult emotions as a resource and source of regulation
11:30: Unhelpful myths in how to deal with difficult emotions
16:45: Healthy responses to those myths
21:10: Vulnerability
25:50: Emotional granularity
27:05: Lengthening the time between trigger and response
30:05: Processing anxiety
35:25: How to relax the desire for control
41:45: Medication
44:10: Anxiety doesn’t accurately reflect risk
46:40: Burnout - even around things you enjoy
55:25: Comparing our suffering with others
57:05: Comparing our accomplishments with others
1:01:35: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Receiving a diagnosis can be emotionally challenging, and leave a person with a lot of understandable questions: What does this mean? What do I do now? How do I relate to this?
On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what a diagnosis is, how the diagnostic process works, the limitations of diagnosing someone, dealing with the emotions that come up, and how we can better think about and relate to receiving a diagnosis. Throughout the conversation they focus on how we can come to understand ourselves better, and be liberated by that understanding rather than burdened by it.
ADHD is used a number of times during this conversation as an example, so if you have an ADHD diagnosis this episode could be particularly interesting.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:55: What is a diagnosis, and what is the process used to give a diagnosis?
6:50: What is the purpose of diagnosing someone?
8:50: Situating what defines pathology within our evolutionary and cultural context
11:40: Origins of mental health conditions, social environment, and privilege
14:40: How diagnosis done, and differentiating between different diagnoses
25:05: More discussion on environmental and cultural effects
31:10: Three subtypes of ADHD
33:00: The emotional complexity of receiving a diagnosis
42:30: What helps people in working through the emotions that come up?
46:35: Paying attention to your emotional experience as much as solving your problem.
49:35: Mental health awareness, resources, and support from others
51:00: Rick’s response when someone is given a diagnosis
58:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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There’s been an explosion of interest in psychedelics over the last 10 years, and phrases like “psychedelic-assisted therapy” have gone from the relative fringes of the mental health conversation to bursting into the mainstream. Alongside a great deal of hype is a growing body of research revealing the potential of substances like psilocybin and MDMA as novel treatments for depression, addiction, and PTSD.
On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by Dr. Albert Garcia-Romeu from the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research. They explore the history and current state of psychedelic research, their subjective effects, the necessity of the “trip,” how psychedelics work in the brain, why researchers are so interested in these substances, and what a psychedelic-assisted therapy session looks like.
About Our Guest: Dr. Garcia-Romeu is a member of the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences faculty at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. His research examines the effects of psychedelics in humans, with a focus on psilocybin as an aid in the treatment of addiction.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Dr. Garcia-Romeu’s background
3:00: What substances have been the focus of research?
8:10: The history of psychedelics
11:15: Usefulness and subjective effects of classical psychedelics (LSD/Psilocybin)
17:35: Ego loss or “ego-death” and the role of spirituality in mental health
21:40: What is happening neurologically with Psilocybin?
27:55: Psychedelics may be the best current treatment option for some conditions
35:05: How close is the research to proving efficacy?
38:05: The relative safety of psychedelics
41:00: What does a psychedelic-assisted therapy session look like?
47:00: Self-guidance in a session
49:50: Duration of treatment, financial and legal access
54:00: Using psychedelics for personal growth, spiritual practice, and even recreation
58:00: Where is the field going?
59:25: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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The median life expectancy for a man living in the United States is roughly 80 years. That works out to 960 months, 4,160 weeks, or about 29,000 days. Rick is sneaking up on 70 years old, which means, on average, he's got about 10 years – or 520 weeks – left.
Putting the time we have left into simple numbers can be both a bit daunting and remarkably clarifying. When you're in the middle of them, the days can blur together. But the truth is that our time’s limited, and how we use it is up to us. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about what's helped them come to terms with mortality, the reality of our limited time, and how we can use that knowledge to refine our focus and live a more fulfilling life.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
4:00: How Rick’s relationship with death has changed over time
11:05: Appreciating life as a comfort in accepting death
14:00: Dukkah, Tanha, and contentment
16:30: Distinguishing the ocean (reality) from the wave (ego)
21:20: Acceptance, contraction, and expansion
25:35: Finite experiences, and undelivered communications
31:30: “Life is for the living”
33:10: Giving, contribution, contentment, and fulfillment
40:05: What to do about regret?
47:40: Serenity in old age
49:00: Practical ways to hold awareness of death
55:05: Recap
Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Shame is one of the most complex and difficult emotions we experience on a regular basis, and one that can have seriously negative impacts on our sense of self-worth and ability to experience healthy connection with others.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson take a deep dive into what shame is, how it develops, and what distinguishes it from guilt and other related emotions. They then focus on questioning our assumptions about shame, which can help us identify where it comes from.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: The biological roots of shame
4:00: Shame's ties to our assumptions about the world
7:00: Impropriety, and shame as a psychological stage of development
9:55: Distinguishing shame from guilt
14:00: Unnecessary shame, healthy remorse, and your own integrity system
21:55: Who decides what being good looks like?
25:40: Morality in the service of power
32:20: What helps us work with experiences of shame
38:25: Isolation and the value of sharing with others in some way
43:50: Working with your shame story
49:00: Shame, group belonging, and personal change
51:25: Recap
Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BeingWell50 at checkout for an additional $50 off the registration price.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.
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There’s a lot of loss in the world these days, both in our individual lives and in our broader communities, and with those losses comes grief. Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to be with, and it can be difficult to offer generalized advice because everyone's experience of grief is profoundly unique.
On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by one of the world’s leading researchers on grief, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, to help us better understand grief and grieving. They explore why grief is such a unique and intense emotion, how grief works in the brain, the problems with generalized models like the “five stages of grief,” and how we can learn to live with loss.
About Our Guest: Mary-Frances is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She’s also the author of the wonderful book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimer
3:35: Mary-Frances’ personal background
6:55: Distinguishing grief from grieving
9:20: Self-criticism, and the over-focus on recovery
11:20: Grief isn't "something to get over"
13:00: Attachment, and our neurological map
16:00: Prediction error
19:30: Complicated grief
25:00: Spiritual practice, or having a worldview that incorporates death
28:05: Is there a ‘normal’ grieving process?
35:25: Pathology, and normal human experiences
46:00: Neurological overview of grief in the brain
50:40: The Dual Process Model of Grief
54:10: Sometimes distraction is okay
56:15: Therapeutic practices and learning from grief
1:01:00: Grief and its relationship to love
1:03:40: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
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Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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One of the most important and challenging skills we can develop is learning to regulate our strong emotions. While it’s very natural to have fluctuations in how we feel about others and ourselves, for some people these ups and downs are particularly intense. At clinical levels, this is known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
BPD is characterized by a pattern of instability in a person’s emotions, moods, behavior, self-image, and relationships. BPD is fairly common, and it's even more common for "borderline-y tendencies" to show up in our lives. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what to do when these tendencies show up, how to cultivate a healthy balance of sensitivity and tolerance to distress, regulating and nurturing ourselves, and how to navigate relationships with others when they exhibit borderline tendencies.
As a disclaimer, formal diagnosis of any condition should be done with a medical professional working directly with the person in question. This podcast episode is not a substitute for that.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What are "borderline tendencies"?
6:50: 9 Symptoms of BPD
9:10: The what, why, and how of mental health
11:25: Childhood influences on borderline tendencies
15:05: Instability, impulsivity, and the drive for reassurance
25:00: Recognizing varying degrees of borderline patterns
27:00: Practical tips–regulation and nurturance
32:50: Boundaries, and avoiding spiraling
37:50: Acceptance, and the desire for change
40:35: Sensitivity and distress tolerance
45:00: What to do when you notice borderline tendencies in a relationship
51:00: Recognizing how much someone's nature is going to change
53:35: Treatability
54:50: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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One of the most important skills we can develop is learning how to learn–how to update old beliefs about ourselves, take in new information, and build psychological resources like courage, gratitude, and confidence. We have experiences from which we could potentially learn all the time, but how often are we able to actually implement lasting change from our positive experiences?
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson dive into Rick’s recently published study on our capacity for deliberate growth. We talk a bit about the neurological components of learning, how the study worked, and what the practical takeaways are to help us make learning stick.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Positive Neuroplasticity Training: Learn how to change your brain for the better in the 6-part course from Rick his study was based on! Use code BEWELL50 for $50 off the purchase price.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: The focus of Rick’s recently published study on how to learn
4:35: Our capacity for deliberate growth
7:30: How does learning work in the brain?
11:25: Activation and installation
16:00: Acknowledging the difficulty of deliberate change
16:55: The HEAL framework
22:15: How Rick’s study results were measured
30:05: The results of the study
39:10: Possibilities for future studies
42:00: Little moments of recognition
44:05: Takeaways
45:50: Assessing the whole notion of statistical significance
51:05: Control groups and clusters
54:05: Rick reads the final statement from the study.
56:05: Recap
Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.
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Sponsors:
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When a child is particularly emotionally intelligent, and a parent is particularly emotionally vulnerable, an inversion of the typical relationship can occur where the child devotes themselves to meeting the parent’s needs rather than the other way around. This can lead the child to lose touch with their own wants and needs – with their authentic self – which then leads to underlying feelings of worthlessness, uncertainty, and self-alienation in adulthood.
Extreme versions of this pattern are known as parentification, but mild to moderate versions are surprisingly common. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can heal from the effects of these difficult early experiences and rediscover who we truly are.
This material was completely eye-opening for me, and it’s one of my favorite episodes we've ever produced.
Want to learn more? Check out Alice Miller’s classic book The Drama of the Gifted Child.
Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:55: Distinction between parentification and the gifted child
5:05: Serving a psychological function - what is the “gift” we’re talking about?
7:50: Self-definition vs. defining yourself through relationship
10:30: Examples of generational patterns
16:45: Accumulation of subtle forms of parentification over time
21:55: Patterns of interaction, and differentiation
24:00: Summary of material so far
27:00: “The manic defense against depression”
30:30: What can people do?
35:00: Love, aspiration, and power in parenting styles
40:20: Creating a coherent (and balanced) narrative
43:30: Seductive narratives, grief not shame, claiming your nature
51:25: What emotions were you permitted?
53:35: Recap
Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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A little while ago, we had an episode on self-awareness where Rick emphasized how the majority of what people have to become self-aware of is the good inside themselves. The point felt significant enough to expand into a full episode about how to connect with our best parts.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to accept, appreciate, and connect with our positive aspects, and how to deal with some of the developmental blocks that prevent us from embracing the good in ourselves. We look at how the culture we’re in affects our perspective, how to manage fears of conceit, and how to experience more intimacy and courage by releasing cynicism.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:20: What gets in the way of us hearing the good news about ourselves?
5:40: Stories we’re told about ourselves that form our identity
10:45: Reconnecting with childhood positive qualities
17:10: Intentions, talents, efforts
23:25: Avoiding conceit and the fear of sounding conceited
30:40: Releasing ideas that human nature is fundamentally bad
34:25: Tribalism
36:35: Seeing the cultural water we swim in
41:15: Intimacy, cynicism, courage
46:40: Cherishing ourselves and others
47:35: Recap
Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is the result of the slow accumulation of many small traumatic experiences over time. On our most popular Being Well episode to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explored the details of CPTSD with Pete Walker, and on today’s episode, Forrest is joined by his partner Elizabeth Ferreira to discuss the topic through a more personal lens. Elizabeth shares her CPTSD origin story, what CPTSD feels like, and how to create a compassionate environment with or without a therapist so you can safely process grief, experience out repressed emotions, and learn to express your needs.
Check out Elizabeth's NEW PODCAST!
About our Guest: Elizabeth is a recent graduate of the Somatic Psychology program at the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS), and is currently earning hours toward her MFT license. She creates content on YouTube and Instagram focused on CPTSD, PMDD, and becoming a more whole version of who you are.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Elizabeth’s story
5:20: Trauma in the broader family system
8:40: A “normal” story
11:50: Loneliness, and the parts of us we leave behind
15:00: Repressed emotions
17:10: Adverse childhood experiences
20:35: Stepping out of adverse environments
25:15: Trauma work as grief work
29:10: Symptoms of Complex PTSD
34:50: How do you need to be comforted?
37:30: Creating the sense of safety
40:30: Somatic interventions
45:30: Being witnessed
47:10: Claiming your needs
50:10: Facing the dreaded experience
53:50: Accuracy vs. sensitivity
57:05: Hidden parts
1:00:00: Start by joining
1:04:20: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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You might have heard the line “attachment is the root of suffering.” It comes from the Buddha, but you don’t have to be a Buddhist to recognize that becoming overly attached to a particular outcome, person, or view of yourself can lead to a lot of suffering. At the same time, there are clearly things that are sensible to be attached to – like our loved ones, a basic moral compass, and fundamentals like food and shelter. So, what’s the problem with attachment?
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss the problem with attachment, what differentiates healthy and unhealthy forms of attachment, and what we can do to relax attachment over time.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:10: Learning from Buddhism without trying to be a Buddhist
8:45: Two kinds of suffering
12:00: Distinguishing healthy desire and unhealthy desire
19:40: Markers of problematic attachments
24:10: Self-concept, and an example from Forrest of relaxing attachment
30:25: Balancing "Right View" and nonattachment
42:25: Pain and release
50:55: What’s useful for you?
55:45: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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On one of our favorite episodes of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by author and therapist Terry Real to talk about how to overcome the myth of toxic individualism, break trauma cycles, and experience real intimacy in our relationships.
They discuss how to balance acceptance and agency, develop a healthy sense of trust and self-esteem, communicate what we want effectively, and experience our power through collaboration rather than dominance. Terry describes how we can move past the delusions of toxic individualism and patriarchy that plague our culture, moving away from ‘me vs. you’ and into Us.
About our Guest: Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and bestselling author. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers workshops for couples as well as professional training for clinicians in his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) methodology. His latest book is Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship which comes out June 7th.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Terry’s personal transformation
4:55: Regulating up to our parents
7:05: The Adaptive Child vs. the Wise Adult
14:25: Us vs. the delusions of individualism and patriarchy
18:05: Balancing acceptance and agency
22:45: Enlightened self-interest and working with couples
29:25: Three phases to get more of what you want in relationships without a counselor
33:35: How to support people–particularly women–in dealing with unfairness
37:15: Gendered tendencies–moving into intimacy and out of patriarchy
43:20: Shame and healthy self-esteem
49:40: Relational reckoning and relational integrity
56:55: Repairing trust and grandiosity
1:01:00: Recap
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When was the last time you went through a day without comparing yourself to anyone? For instance, by comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, or being critical of your own willpower and abilities? Avoiding these mental traps can be difficult in a culture that emphasizes the importance of being 'special.'
Of course, we are all special – and all ordinary. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by psychologist and author Dr. Ronald Siegel to discuss why that might not be such a bad thing. They discuss how to drop the myth of the extraordinary, how to heal from feelings of inadequacy, and what healthy self-esteem looks like.
About our Guest: Dr. Siegel is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, international speaker on the topics of mindfulness and compassion, and author of several books including his latest, The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: What prompted Ron’s inquiry into being ordinary
7:00: Cultural and evolutionary factors
12:55: Fluctuations in self-esteem based on success and failure
16:40: Social connection as antidote
18:35: What being ordinary looks like
20:45: Three ways to drop the myth of the extraordinary
31:35: Rick’s path to healing his own feelings of inadequacy
38:55: Predispositions to having a sense of worth and value
44:40: Love vs. ‘specialness’
48:40: Reaping the benefits of self-esteem without getting caught in its traps
56:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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Anger is one of the most complex, demanding, and difficult emotions we deal with on a regular basis, in part because it has both many costs and many uses. It burdens our bodies, relationships, and the world around us. And at the same time, there is a vital energy associated with anger that is extremely powerful and, when harnessed effectively, quite useful.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore the varied ways anger surfaces, how we can relate to it, and how in recognizing what it has to tell us we can channel its energy towards good ends.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:10: Framing anger relative to other emotions
6:15: The three poisons
12:20: Useful aspects of anger and issues with labeling it as bad
22:45: Repression and not downregulating others’ emotions
28:30: Treating anger with respect rather than fear
30:15: What supports us in healthily claiming anger?
38:00: Characteristics that can predispose people to be angry
39:40: The Empty Boat and recognizing anger as an affliction against onesself
43:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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Self-awareness is both one of the most important skills for a person to have, and one of the most challenging to develop. In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what it takes to increase self-awareness over time, the different forms of awareness that come into play, and why maintaining self-awareness can be such a struggle. Rick then emphasizes how we can develop a greater awareness of the positive aspects of ourselves.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Rick’s observations of people’s self-awareness when beginning therapy
6:10: Distinguishing internal and external self-awareness
7:40: Different types of internal self-awareness
12:20: Why is it hard to become self-aware?
18:45: Positive discoveries and Forrest’s personal experience
29:05: The natural movement toward health and sanity
33:35: What causes us to lose touch with positive aspects of our nature?
42:45: How can we cultivate more self-awareness over time?
49:45: Questions to ask yourself
54:50: A creative exercise for mapping out parts of yourself
58:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson open up the mailbag to explore a variety of listener questions. They talk about what causes our brains to become attached to unwanted habits, how to know which of your thoughts are worth listening to, and the pros and cons of saying "kind of." They then consider how to improve sibling relationships, and what to do with the positive emotions we experience during meditation.
Have a question for us? Email: [email protected] to submit questions or topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Why do our brains keep us stuck on unwanted patterns or ways of thinking?
10:45: Three kinds of craving and the machinery of becoming
13:50: Why do we say “kind of” all the time?
25:50: How do you know which of your thoughts are worth listening to?
31:15: How do you improve a sibling relationship?
40:35: What do you do with positive emotions during meditation?
48:40: Recap
Wednesday Night Meditation with Rick: https://www.rickhanson.net/teaching/wednesday-meditations-with-dr-rick-hanson/
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We all have things we want to accomplish in life, but having goals or knowing we should be doing something is often not nearly enough to get us to actually sustain our efforts in getting where we want to go.
Today on Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how to optimize our motivation. They discuss the brain's dopamine system, and distinguish motivation from discipline and liking from wanting. They then explore how we can align the brain's underlying biological circuitry with our desires, so we can stay relaxed and engaged while achieving our goals.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:05: Motivation vs. Discipline
5:30: Why don't we just want the things we know are good for us?
11:00: Creating unity between our biology and cognitive processing
15:50: Dopamine: An Overview
21:30: Distinguishing liking from wanting
25:35: Natural variations in dopamine metabolism
28:55: How people with lower levels of dopamine can stay motivated
33:35: Updating the reward value of your experiences
37:20: Being, doing, and having
43:05: What has helped Rick stay diligent and let go of resistance
46:40: Practical how-tos for interacting with the dopaminergic system
50:35: Letting fish be fish
52:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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With so much suffering going on in the world that’s worthy of our compassion and engagement, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by it even as we have the desire to remain engaged. Secondary traumatic stress is the stress we are exposed to when we interact with other people’s stress, and it manifests at both an individual and societal level. When not managed effectively, it wears us down and diminishes our ability to contribute in a positive way.
On this episode of Being Well, Forrest talks with trauma expert Laura van Dernoot Lipsy about how we can better manage secondary traumatic stress, how to avoid burnout and overwhelm, and what it looks like to stay hopeful and live fully in the face of daunting societal challenges.
About Our Guest: Laura van Dernoot Lipsky is the founder and director of The Trauma Stewardship Institute and author of Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others and The Age of Overwhelm. She is a widely recognized pioneer in the field of trauma exposure and has worked locally, nationally, and internationally for more than three decades. Laura is also the host of Future Tripping, a podcast about navigating overwhelm.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Laura’s personal experience
4:10: How secondary trauma shows up for people
6:45: Martyrdom and the responsibility of organizations to create sustainable environments
10:30: Concern with how trauma is normalized within communities
14:10: Internalized oppression and overwhelm in the broader culture
17:40: The broader systemic context and the ineffectiveness of burning yourself out
21:50: The necessity of taking breaks
26:40: How to feel okay taking time to unplug from discourse on charged topics
33:35: Differentiating between spheres of control and acknowledging grief
37:45: Finding ways to stay hopeful
40:35: What Laura is grateful for and stressed about
44:35: Recap
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Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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It’s normal and healthy for us to try to process our experiences emotionally, but sometimes during that process we find ourselves getting stuck on the same painful memory, anxiety, or disturbing thought. This frustrating experience, known as rumination, is a common psychological challenge that is both discouraging and unhelpful.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson spell out what rumination is, where it comes from, and how it functions in the brain. They then explore what practices and strategies we can use to identify rumination when it comes up, and move through an obsessive thought compassionately and effectively.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:25: How do we define rumination?
7:45: What do we get out of rumination?
13:30: Distinguishing rumination from grieving
16:30: Where rumination comes from in people
18:40: The default mode network
22:30: Ways to disengage the default mode network
25:50: Strange attractors, Krishna, and the Gopis
30:35: Thought acceptance and noting
33:15: Recurring themes of your rumination
37:10: Novelty
38:45: Self-constructing invites rumination, self-acceptance undermines it
47:05: A quick walkthrough for dealing with a negative thought
53:00: Recap
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Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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We’ve spent a lot of time on the podcast exploring how we can improve our skills in romantic relationships, but for many people one of the most difficult parts of a relationship is getting into one in the first place.
On this episode, Forrest talks with Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge, about the psychology of dating. They explore chemistry, romance, apps, and how to reframe our self-limiting tendencies so we can find love that is fulfilling and brings out the best in us.
About our Guest: Logan Ury is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach, and the author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. She is the Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge, and former head of Google’s behavioral science team the Irrational Lab.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Why is modern dating so hard?
4:15: Romanticism
6:20: Being in a relationship for self-actualization
8:25: Romanticizers, Maximizers, and Hesitators
11:15: Reframes for the Romanticizer
14:20: What kind of shared qualities actually matter?
19:25: Reframes for the Maximizer
26:35: The tendency to externalize problems and avoid vulnerability
32:25: Reframes for the Hesitator
36:50: Information vs. emotion - appreciation for romance
41:05: Bids, and turning towards
43:05: What other things do people tend to underestimate in relationships?
47:20: The aspect of you that is brought out by your partner
48:45: How to use apps in more effective ways
51:00: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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On this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson take a deep dive into defining stress, how it functions, how it impacts our lives and bodies, and what we can do to repair from its effects.
We discuss how to distinguish stress from effort, the influence of the modern world on how stressed we feel, the various biological mechanisms involved in stress, and the challenges presented by chronic exposure to it. We then consider what we can do to increase resilience, including positively responding to stressors even in the midst of limitations and uncertainty.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: What is stress exactly?
3:30: Distinguishing stress from effort
7:25: Circles of concern and what we can actually influence
10:15: Zebras, and different levels of allostatic load
15:30: How the Endocrine System and Nervous System respond to stress
21:45: The amygdala response
23:20: What are the costs of stress?
35:30: The story so far
36:25: How do we positively adapt to stress?
41:35: The influence of basic lifestyle factors
43:50: Questions to ask yourself
45:30: Claiming agency while accepting limitations and uncertainty
51:05: What we can do to repair from the effects of our stress
57:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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One of the most effective ways to change how we show up in the world is to identify and change our underlying personal narrative. On this episode, Forrest Hanson talks with Ian Cron about how we can use the Enneagram personality typing system to aid us in this process.
About our Guest: Ian Cron is a therapist, master Enneagram teacher, best-selling author of The Road Back to You and his latest The Story of You, and host of popular Enneagram podcast Typology.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Ian’s narrative and how it has changed over time
5:45: Overview of the Enneagram and its uses
11:30: A few examples of common limiting narratives
19:10: A quick primer of how the Enneagram works and each type
26:00: How people can push back on their unconscious narratives
35:25: Cultivating awareness of how your old story is playing out in the present
37:10: Ian’s inflection point
41:30: Integration and levels of development
43:15: The link between your virtue and your fixation
49:00: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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We’ve talked on this show about lots of ways we can be happier over time, but one of the hardest things to do is to STAY happy as the events of life wash over us. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore "hedonic adaptation" - our tendency to return to a stable baseline of happiness - and discuss how we can get off the "hedonic treadmill."
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:25: What is hedonic adaptation?
6:25: Three factors of happiness
9:45: Survey of various research on hedonic adaptation and subjective well-being
19:55: Financial circumstances and relationships
27:35: How to sustain happiness - loving, knowing, growing
38:15: The single most effective intervention to fight hedonic adaptation
41:30: Forrest’s take on how lasting change happens
45:00: Antidote experiences and improving memory
47:50: Can we actually become happier?
51:00: Recap
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One of the underlying threads that runs through many of our conversations on Being Well is our relationship with our “self”. On this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk with neuroscientist, mindfulness researcher, and bestselling author Dr. Jud Brewer about where we can find the “self” in the brain, and the benefits of relaxing our attachment to it.
About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University. He is the executive medical director of behavioral health at Sharecare, and a research affiliate at MIT. His bestselling books include Unwinding Anxiety and The Craving Mind.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What is a “self”?
5:10: Distinguishing consciousness, person, and self
7:25: Can there be a unified sense of self in an everchanging psychological process?
11:50: Selfing and what triggers a sense of “me”
15:20: Evolutionary speculations about the origins of selfing
18:50: Predictive processing and personal associations
21:55: How Jud responds to selfing
28:10: The unicorn metaphor of self and relief in sensory experience
36:45: The experience of addiction and anxiety
40:50: Somatic markers and distinguishing healthy vs. unhealthy desires
41:40: Letting go vs. straining to create a self
45:40: Underlying neurological components of the self
56:30: The fluidity of awareness without self
58:30: When and how does the default mode network become functional?
1:03:00: Neuro-psychedelic research and unlearning
1:07:15: Having a self vs. taking ourselves personally
1:11:00: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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The tone of this episode of Being Well is a bit different. For context, we recorded it four days after the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
It feels like we've had more than our fair share of difficult times over the last few years. Like many people, we wish there were more we could do to support those suffering around the world. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on what we can do, in our mind and in our lives, to relate to the challenging emotions – fear, grief, anxiety, anger, helplessness, and so on – that naturally arise during these times.
The advertising revenue from this episode will be donated to charities dedicated to supporting the people of Ukraine. If you'd like to join us in donating, we’ve included links below to several charities.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
5:10: Anxiety calming exercise
12:40: Pause
18:55: Feel your feelings
23:45: Resource yourself
26:45: Compassion
29:55: Humor
32:00: Get educated
40:35: Make a plan
45:55: Move into action
52:35: Recap
Make a donation to support Ukraine via one of the charities below:
CARE's Ukraine Crisis Fund
A list of charities by subject for supporting the people of Ukraine.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
Sponsors:
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One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with disappointment and cope with failures big and small. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss what it looks like to experience failure not as falling short, but as an opportunity for growth. They explore cultural narratives around "failure," individual variation in sensitivity, and how to manage the pain of failure, adapt expectations, and develop systems of feedback to allow for a greater sense of ease and purpose.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What do we mean by failure?
5:55: How loss works in the brain and what makes us sensitive to losing
8:30: Managing expectations of success
10:30: Attributional styles
13:10: How some can handle failure with greater ease than others
22:30: Deconstructing old narratives and failure as an opportunity for learning
28:30: Managing the pain of failure and setting up feedback systems
34:20: An example from Forrest’s experience
38:20: Poor decisions, lack of foresight, losing your nerve
40:30: Willingness to take risks
45:00: Defining our notion of success and failure via process vs. outcome
48:20: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
Sponsors:
Visit athleticgreens.com/BEINGWELL to take ownership over your health, and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!
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There’s a tension we’ve all felt at some point between the benefits of conformity and the desire to be true to ourselves and stand up for what we think is right. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by Dr. Todd Kashdan to explore how we can combine prosocial values with principled insubordination, so we can speak up for others (and ourselves) and maximize our chances of creating meaningful change even in the face of social pressure.
About Our Guest: Dr. Todd Kashdan is Professor of Psychology at George Mason University. He is a leading authority on well-being, curiosity, psychological flexibility, and resilience. He has published over 210 peer-reviewed articles, and is the author of several books including Curious? , The Upside of Your Dark Side, and most recently The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Combining skillful positivity and dissent
7:55: Distinguishing principled insubordination and generic misanthropy
10:05: Four elements of principled insubordination
19:05: Yin and Yang applied to insubordination
21:35: Safe havens and a secure base
26:20: How capable are we of cultivating self-awareness?
32:05: Positive intent, courage, and sitting with discomfort
38:45: Strategies for being a moral and effective dissident
46:40: Navigating societal hierarchies
51:50: Process comments as insubordination
53:00: What Todd does when his kids are insubordinate
58:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We explore a lot of big ideas on this show, and alongside them a lot of specific tactics and frameworks that can support people in growing and changing for the better. This includes everything from how to get the most out of therapy, to how to deal with traumatic experiences, to how to manage a variety of psychological conditions and individual tendencies. There’s a question that underlies all of these domains: how does personal healing actually work?
On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss the fundamental strategies that allow us to become aware of and integrate all parts of ourselves–those we want to celebrate and expand, and those we’d like to heal and change.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:00: Overview of psychological patterns related to healing
7:25: Forrest’s personal journey as a case study
13:15: Rick assessing Forrest’s narrative from a psychologist’s perspective
15:45: Cognizing and other stories we tell to avoid parts of ourselves
20:40: Showing appreciation for our defenses, completing patterns
26:50: Catharsis and ways to reach it
39:15: Practical ways to reclaim and reconnect with parts of yourself
43:45: Playing with the nature of identity/ego
47:00: Self-forgiveness and celebrating what you’re good at
50:05: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
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We’re incredibly lucky to have such an engaged and interested group of people listening to the podcast, and because of that we regularly receive a lot of interesting questions via email and social media (links below). On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson dive into a few of these questions, discussing topics such as: how to manage family relationships, principles for approaching life’s changes, and what kind of therapy Rick actually practices.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Bringing up challenges with family when times are already hard.
11:25: What kind of therapy does Rick practice?
19:15: Taking financial risks to experience life vs. creating financial security
30:00: “Neurons that fire together wire together” explained
34:05: Developing a connection with your inner child/younger self if your childhood was filled with painful experiences
41:40: Managing challenges between your family and your partner
54:15: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Have a question for us?
Email: [email protected] to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.
Sponsors:
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Kaira Jewel Lingo, a former Buddhist nun at the Plum Village community under the guidance of Thich Naht Han, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson to explore how we can cultivate trust and equanimity in the face of uncertainty. They discuss the somatic experience of opening to the unknown, taking action as an antidote to anxiety, and how to have equanimity both when things work out...and when they don’t.
About our Guest: Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Buddhist teacher who weaves mindfulness and meditation practice with social justice. At the age of 25, she became a Buddhist nun at the Plum Village community in France under the guidance of Thich Naht Han, where she stayed for 15 years. She became a Zen teacher in 2007, and is also a teacher in the Vipassana/Insight tradition through Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Finally, she is the author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption.
Recording Note: This episode was recorded before the passing of Thich Naht Han.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Kaira Jewel’s background
2:35: Trust in times of major change
9:10: Two kinds of uncertainty
14:10: Store consciousness and trusting the unknown
18:50: Somatic contraction and expansion
23:05: Responding to the truth of suffering with joyful engagement
30:50: Practicing equanimity
42:10: Defining equanimity
43:30: How to return to center in unstable moments
48:20: Body-based equanimity exercise
50:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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So many forces in our brains, bodies, and culture move us toward the experience of scarcity – that something is missing, that we don’t have enough, and that we never will have enough. The feeling of scarcity both feels bad in itself, and is also the creator and amplifier of so many other challenges we face.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about what a scarcity and an abundance mindset is, what some sources of scarcity are, and how we can move to an authentic experience of abundance.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:35: Defining scarcity and abundance
6:45: Why are we biologically predisposed towards scarcity?
17:05: When to relax and expand
20:20: Scarcity at the cultural level
26:20: Critique of promoting an “abundance mindset” and a practical definition
30:45: Orienting to a sense of abundance
38:05: Motivating with punishment vs reward
40:55: Abundance in objectively difficult times
47:15: Specific ways to shift from scarcity to abundance
58:45: A sense of wonder and groundedness
1:01:25: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Most people abandon their New Year's Resolutions by mid-January. This often occurs because people make resolutions based on what they feel like they should want, rather than what they actually do want. In other words, their goals and resolutions aren’t in alignment with their purpose.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss how we can identify and pursue our purpose, and why it’s so valuable to have one in the first place. They explore questions and strategies that can help us develop clarity on what we find meaningful, what our core values are, and how we’d like to spend our time.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:00: Why spend time discussing how to have a purpose?
11:00: Nonverbal ways to establish yourself in your purpose
12:50: Ways to be flexible that make purpose accessible
17:45: Fresh starts help us retain freedom in the present
21:20: How to listen to yourself when it's unclear what you want
26:05: Getting feedback from others and abandoning doomed pursuits
32:10: Moving past the inner critic and fear of letting others down
38:10: Five questions to ask yourself
48:15: Soul work and sacredness
50:30: Doing what helps you look at things differently
54:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by James Baraz, a meditation teacher for over 40 years and cofounder of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, to explore how we can find still find joy during difficult times. We discuss how to balance a sense of equanimity with compassion for the suffering of the world, and how cultivating joy at an individual level can support healing at the collective level.
About our Guest: James is the coauthor of Awakening Joy: 10 Steps to True Happiness, and leads the popular online course of the same name. He is also the guiding teacher of One Earth Sangha, a website devoted to expressing a Buddhist response to climate change.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Why joy is important in Buddhism
5:05: James’ journey to prioritizing joy
11:40: How to practice awakening joy without turning away from suffering
17:20: Putting yourself back together after cultivating awareness of suffering
24:10: The 10 Steps of Awakening Joy
28:45: How people can use emotionally positive states in contemplative practice
32:00: Positivity in relation to the climate crisis and other collective challenges
38:05: Equanimity, compassion, including both sides of the river
43:35: The great perfection
47:10: James’ realistic hope for the next 25 years
49:30: Recap
Awakening Joy: Awakening Joy is an internationally recognized course designed to awaken joy through exciting themes and practices that incline the mind toward well-being and deeper insight. It's a 5-month course taught online by James, check it out and learn more here.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk with Dr. Zindel Segal about Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), an eight-week group therapy program designed to help those who suffer from chronic unhappiness and prevent relapse after episodes of severe clinical depression.
About our Guest: Dr. Segal is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto at Scarborough, and one of the creators of MBCT. He specializes in mood disorders, particularly depression, and has had an enormous influence on the clinical adoption of mindfulness-based practices and their addition to more traditional forms of cognitive therapy.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Origins of MBCT
4:30: Why Segal prioritized studying mindfulness as an intervention to depression
7:10: Comparing MBCT with traditional CBT
10:20: What about depression makes us more reactive to thoughts and feelings?
13:15: Mindfulness of sadness vs direct experience
18:35: MBCT practices explained
23:10: Three minute breathing space exercise
31:00: Attentional control training
33:45: Managing feelings of inadequacy
39:00: Motivation and implicit compassion
43:15: Ongoing practices after the MBCT course
45:45: Creating access to mindfulness resources
48:15: Recap
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson reflect on 2021, and explore how to maximize what we get out of 2022. We discuss how to rest in our aspirations, claim identity-based change, reframe personal narratives, and form the habits that lead to a more grounded, meaningful life.
Thank you for listening over the last year, looking forward to much more!
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:20: How was 2021 for you?
5:35: Gratitude for listener support
8:25: Rick’s yearly reflection process
12:45: Collaging practice
18:35: Language, and keeping a positive orientation toward desires and resolutions
26:55: Sentence completion exercise
31:10: Identity-based change
35:25: Rick’s approach to nature-based change
39:30: Reframing personal narratives
43:35: Making room for new parts of yourself in middle age
46:10: Process for forming resolutions outlined.
53:35: Rick and Forrest’s goals for 2022
58:05: Drawing on the support of others
59:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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We’ve received a substantial number of questions from our listeners regarding familial estrangement: when one family member distances themselves from the others, or chooses not to interact with them at all. It’s a common and extremely challenging situation, and the pain related to it can be particularly intense during the holidays.
Today on Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss family estrangement, particularly between parents and children, and how the questions we engage in this territory apply more broadly to how we balance our own boundaries with the responsibilities we have toward other people.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:05: Our framework for discussing estrangement in this episode
6:10: Joining and distancing
9:40: Duties in relationship between children and aging parents
15:35: Parents’ behavior then vs. now
19:00: Distinguishing family systems from parents as individuals
24:10: Functional forgiveness when someone doesn’t show remorse
26:45: Choosing the kind of relationship we want to have
31:45: Parents’ pain when children distance
33:40: How parents can consider the child’s perspective
39:40: Grieving an estranged relationship internally
45:30: Approaches to interacting with estranged children
52:30: How to decide whether or not to engage in a relationship
55:10: Awareness of cultural influences
57:20: Ownership and what parents can do to repair
1:03:00: The wide range of variables influencing family relationships
1:07:00: Wishing well regardless of circumstances
1:09:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson expand their conversation focused on finding a long-term partner to include what traits to look for, and how to navigate early sticking points. They discuss life growth curves, how to manage early conflict, healthy approaches for dealing with rejection, and how to support those still navigating a difficult search.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:45: Green and red flags to look for in a partner
8:50: Pursuer-distancer dynamic
9:45: Shared growth curves--relationship as a process, not a person
12:50: Riding the river of practical daily life
19:25: Someone who brings out the best parts of you
25:25: Different kinds of romantic relationships
28:55: Rejection and feeling wanted
30:45: Asymmetry and power dynamics
34:40: Agency within the pain of rejection
40:05: Recognizing self-worth
45:00: Managing early conflict
51:50: The struggle to find a prospective partner
59:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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We’ve spent a lot of time on Being Well discussing how to improve our relationships - how to navigate conflict effectively, communicate more skillfully, and create a romantic relationship that’s truly fulfilling - but we’ve spent very little time talking about how to get into one of those relationships in the first place.
Today, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about how to maximize your chances of finding a fulfilling long-term relationship. They explore how to develop a clear intention of what you want, the key psychological skills that invite a healthy relationship, and how to market yourself authentically while dating.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: What supports people in finding a long-term partner?
4:35: Having a clear intention
8:45: Psychological skills to maximize our chances of finding a long-term relationship
12:15: Marketing and sorting through suspects
14:40: Intention expanded
22:15: Psychological skills expanded
22:50: A healthy sense of self worth
26:10: Being aware of your selection biases
29:35: Communication skills
34:30: Seeing the best in one another
37:30: Settling anxious and avoidant tendencies
42:00: Resting in presence with someone
43:15: Not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good
44:25: Marketing explained
55:00: Authenticity
58:20: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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It’s natural to have moments – even in the course of a generally happy, mostly fulfilling life – where we question our meaning, value, and purpose. This "existential dread" sometimes culminates in an "existential crisis." Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson consider how we can confront these basic questions with acceptance and curiosity, and find the meaning and purpose that can help us live good lives.
If you're in crisis, are thinking about suicide, or are concerned about a loved one, please call 1-800-273-8255. The Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching to listening? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
2:35 Meaning and purpose as the basis for Existentialism
5:20 Four basic issues of existence
7:00 Practical reasons for exploring Existentialism
10:50 Forrest’s childhood acceptance of death.
12:00 Four approaches to confronting existential frailty
13:45 Rick’s orientation to existential dread and its three psychological challenges
15:45 Rick’s personal experience confronting ambivalence and asking the point of living
20:25 Confronting an existential crisis as a catapult into a meaningful life
22:45 Morbid preoccupation as avoidance and self-ing
23:45 The three major whys of living: pleasure, service, and learning
26:10 What death can teach us about living a good life
31:30 Waves and water - resting in gratitude for life and it’s inevitable ending
36:15 Humor in the space of emptiness between living things
39:10 Natural fear vs. anticipatory dread
43:10 Finding your why when familiar structures break down
48:35 Recap and front porch meditation
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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How can we aim high, achieve our goals, and get what we want out of life without falling prey to unhealthy striving and excessive perfectionism? Dr. Diana Hill joins Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson to explore the costs of perfectionism, productivity anxiety, psychological flexibility, calming the threat system, and how we can go from striving to thriving.
About Our Guest: Dr. Diana Hill specializes in evidence-based and compassion-focused approaches to living well. She has a thriving private practice in Santa Barbara, CA, is the author of the ACT Daily Journal, and is one of the hosts of the Psychologists Off the Clock Podcast. Diana is also the host of a new podcast called Your Life in Process launching in Jan 2022, where she offers practical teachings and conversations on becoming psychologically flexible from the inside out.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching to listening? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
2:00 Dr. Hill’s personal journey
4:40 Signs of unhealthy striving
6:50 Recognizing striving in the body
12:50 Signs of being in a healthier place around striving
16:15 What drives perfectionism and how to develop comfort with difficult experiences
22:20 Psychological flexibility and how to see your experience more clearly
26:35 Social and internalized factors in the search for approval
34:55 Practical ways to develop psychological flexibility
38:00 Inner freedom and choice within discomfort
45:30 Exposure therapy and cognitive diffusion for releasing control and anxiety
55:00 The middle way and climbing the mountains that are important to you.
59:50 Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We all want a relationship that's more than just functional, we want one that's truly fulfilling. On today's episode Forrest is joined by a wonderful therapist and author who focuses on giving people the tools they need to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with other people: Elizabeth Earnshaw. They explore:
They then close the episode with a fun game focused on debunking common relationship myths.
About our Guest: Elizabeth is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, the founder of A Better Life Therapy, and the author of I Want This to Work. You might also know her as @lizlistens on Instagram, where she’s helped countless people transform their relationships.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction.
1:45: Elizabeth’s background.
5:30: How did the pandemic impact relationships?
7:30: Responding to stress in relationships.
9:00: Co-regulation.
11:15: Punishing others for our unpleasant emotions.
13:45: The four stages of relationships.
17:50: What to look for in a partner.
20:10: The “Four Horsemen” of bad relationship communication.
24:25: Key skills for navigating conflict together.
27:00: How to request repair from your partner.
34:10: Deciding if you should leave.
37:45: Interdependence.
41:30: Balancing differing needs for intimacy.
46:30: The Instagram Meme Game: Common misconceptions about relationships.
47:30: “Partners should share everything with each other.”
50:30: “Your partner should be your ride or die.”
52:15: “Never go to bed angry.”
54:50: “My partner is my missing piece.”
56:35: “If you can’t handle me on my worst day, you don’t deserve me on my best day.”
1:02:05: Recap.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today we're continuing our exploration of the key inner strengths and psychological skills we truly feel like we couldn’t live without. In the second of two episodes dedicated to this topic, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about joy, seeing the mind's deceits, keeping your good humor, the wild spirit, and finding meaning.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Cognitive restructuring: fighting your negative brain.
7:10: Not taking things so seriously.
9:40: The “stage play” of life.
12:40: Joy.
17:40: The wild spirit.
23:20: Breaking our patterns.
25:15: The “routinization of charisma.”
29:00: Finding meaning.
38:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore which key inner strengths and psychological skills they truly feel like they couldn’t live without. In the first of two episodes dedicated to this topic, they talk about benevolence, patience, curiosity, self-regulation, and grit.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:00: What do you take with you?
4:15: Benevolence.
8:10: Patience.
12:15: What helps us learn how to wait?
16:40: The value of “asking the question.”
17:30: Curiosity.
22:30: Self-regulation.
28:30: Regulation enabling exploration.
32:30: Grit.
40:50: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on two of our most important subjects, attachment wounds and traumatic experiences, with a longtime therapist, trainer of therapists, and world-class expert on attachment theory: Dr. Diane Poole Heller.
About our Guest: Dr. Heller focuses on using somatic, or body-based, approaches to help people resolve the painful experiences and negative patterns that hold us back. Her work on adult attachment has created a path for adults with childhood attachment injuries to develop the secure attachment skills that lead to more connected and fulfilling adult relationships.
Key Topics:
2:30: What is attachment, and why should we care?
4:45: Secure attachment.
7:50: Avoidant attachment.
12:30: The potential for movement toward secure attachment.
16:00: Ambivalent (or anxious) attachment.
20:45: Disorganized attachment.
24:15: Somatic approaches to attachment wounds.
29:50: Allowing the body to move out of threat.
34:10: Secure attachment skills.
38:55: Repatterning ourselves.
47:20: Becoming more secure in connection.
50:30: Three questions to help calm relational activation.
55:45: A message to your younger self.
56:45: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. You’re the only person you’ll be around every minute of every day for the rest of your life. And, unfortunately, that relationship is often our most difficult one. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can become better friends to ourselves, and learn to like ourselves more.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:20: What does it mean to “like ourselves?”
5:20: Why don’t people like themselves?
11:50: Giving yourself the same breaks you give others.
14:10: Regulating impulses.
19:15: Does “liking ourselves more” make someone narcissistic?
24:30: What supported Rick in liking himself more?
29:00: Seeing yourself clearly.
32:30: The IFS model and the caring committee.
36:30: Our nurturing parts.
39:10: A practicing of being for yourself.
45:10: Recap.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we create relationships that last? On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson lean on Rick's 35+ years of couples counseling experience to explore how we can build relationships that are loving, healthy, enjoyable, and reliable. This includes learning the structure of most relationship problems, how to make vulnerable communications, and how to stay open to change.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: What issues brought couples into therapy most often?
4:50: The structure of most relationship problems.
12:30: Giving your partner what they need.
15:30: What differentiated couples that improved from those that didn’t?
21:15: Skills that increase the chances of building a good relationship.
21:45: Loving vs. liking.
25:00: Deliberately activating feelings of “liking.”
27:00: Getting “on the side” of the relationship.
31:10: How to make a vulnerable communication.
39:15: Openness to change.
43:40: Three red flags in relationships.
46:00: Practices to deepen your relationship with your partner.
54:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In one of our favorite conversations, Dr. Jud Brewer joins us to explore the habit of anxiety, mindfulness practices to heal addiction, and what we can learn from the brains of the world’s most advanced meditators.
About Our Guest: Dr. Jud is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist and New York Times best-selling author. He’s the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, where he also serves as an associate professor, as well as the executive medical director of behavioral health at Sharecare Inc.
Dr. Jud is also the author of The Craving Mind and Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
2:00: What got Jud from psychiatry to studying mindfulness?
5:45: Addiction and the structure of habits.
10:15: Mindfulness as a treatment for addiction.
14:00: Liking without wanting.
19:45: Habit formation and reward-based learning.
24:00: Awareness, and honoring your experience.
26:15: Curiosity.
28:10: The “habit” of anxiety.
32:00: Anxiety’s habit loop.
34:45: The true purpose of worrying.
39:00: Generalized vs. acute anxiety.
41:00: Anxiety and performance.
46:20: Practices for unwinding from anxiety.
54:45: Learning from the brains of experienced practitioners.
1:03:30: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In the second of two episodes, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore common self-help myths and misconceptions, including ones related to hedonic adaptation, "no pain no gain," and meditation.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Misconception #1: People can’t really change in lasting ways/Hedonic adaptation stops people from becoming happier.
17:00: Misconception #2: No pain, no gain. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
27:50: Misconception #3: You can only meditate by sitting quietly on a cushion.
41:15: Misconception #4: I can heal myself all on my own. Relying on a therapist means something is “wrong” with me.
50:00: Misconception #5: All therapy is talk therapy. It’s really cognitive and top-down.
57:45: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
As mental health and the psychological sciences have gone increasingly mainstream, so too have some common misconceptions and misunderstandings. In the first of two episodes, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore some of the biggest misconceptions related to therapy, trauma, and what it means to be "resilient."
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Membership includes expanded show notes and transcripts of the episodes.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:10: Misconception #1: "Personal growth is narcissistic."
5:05: The social value of individual growth.
10:25: Misconception #2: "Well-being is all about individual effort."
18:50: Misconception #3: "Therapy is for people who are messed up."
23:00: Misconception #4: "If I go to therapy, I'll become dependent on it."
30:00: Misconception #5: "If I go to therapy, it'll destabilize me or mess me up."
34:45: Misconception #6: "People use the word 'trauma' too much. These days EVERYTHING is a 'trauma.'"
43:50: How we define what is and isn't stressful.
48:10: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.
New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome that includes severe anxiety, depression, and feelings of shame. It affects 5-10% of women, and most don't even know they have it. On today's episode, Forrest is joined by his partner Elizabeth Ferreira to explore what PMDD is, how to know if you might have it, effective practices for managing PMDD, and how to create a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship alongside it.
About Our Guest: Elizabeth is a graduate student studying somatic psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies. If you'd like to hear more from Elizabeth and learn about somatic psychology, she's just started a YouTube channel!
During this conversation we focused on psychological and lifestyle change-based interventions for PMDD. Not everyone has a life that allows them to make these changes, and in addition to these practices many people need significant medical intervention to feel relief. Treatment options range from oral contraceptives and SSRIs to chemical menopause or even a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy.
Some of these interventions come with significant side effects, and this podcast episode is no replacement for consulting with a physician. To learn more about medical options, check out the links below:
The International Association for Pre-Menstrual Disorders
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What’s PMDD?
4:45: Diagnostic criteria for PMDD.
8:20: Challenges of awareness around “invisible” problems.
10:00: The experience of a PMDD episode.
15:15: Practices that help PMDD.
27:05: Externalizing PMDD.
29:45: Therapy and PMDD.
33:30: Accepting your needs.
39:30: Dealing with shame and isolation.
44:45: Continuing to meet the challenge.
49:00: Partnering someone with PMDD.
54:45: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what "avoidant behavior" is, common forms it takes, and what we can do to limit its unhealthy aspects.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Membership includes expanded show notes and transcripts of the episodes.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:10: Approaching, Avoiding, and Abiding
4:25: Common Forms of Avoidance
7:30: The Costs of Avoidance
11:30: Situational Avoidance
13:40: Cognitive Avoidance
15:30: Emotional Avoidance
16:45: The True Function of Worrying
23:05: Somatic Avoidance
27:40: Useful Aspects of Avoidance
30:45: What Helps People With Their Avoidant Behaviors?
34:30: What We Do vs. What We Are
38:30: Bounding the Problem
40:50: Anticipate Blocks
42:00: Active Coping, and Critiques of Positive Psychology
46:50: An Exercise for Fighting Avoidance
49:40: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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What goes into making "a self," and how can we bring together the many aspects of who we are? Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk with meditation teacher, bestselling author, and podcaster (and their good friend) Michael Taft about moving from the spiritual to the secular and back again, ego dissolution, and how we can deconstruct ourselves.
About Our Guest: Michael is a meditation teacher, bestselling author and neuroscience junkie. He’s been practicing meditation for over 35 years, and is the author of several books, including The Mindful Geek.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Michael’s journey from the spiritual to the secular to back again.
5:00: LSD, yoga, and Shinzen Young
8:30: Reconciling the spiritual and the secular.
15:45: What is “deconstructing yourself?”
20:45: Ego dissolution and panic.
25:00: “Spiritual emergencies” and cautions around mindfulness.
29:20: Psychedelics and seeing the ego as an object.
31:00: Practices that help people see the empty nature of the self.
34:00: Key teachings for life’s long road.
45:00: A message to your younger self.
47:00: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We all have limiting beliefs: patterns of think about ourselves and the world that tend to hold us back. On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can push back on these problematic beliefs and build more supportive ones.
Change Your Mind Workshop: Learn how to step out of old assumptions and attitudes, free yourself from limiting beliefs, and cultivate more useful, hopeful thoughts about yourself and others during this new workshop from Dr. Rick Hanson. Attend this online event live on August 28-29, or watch the recordings after. Enter code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for 25% off the purchase price.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:25: The PASS Process
8:35: Limiting beliefs about our nature.
14:10: Limiting beliefs about our ability to learn.
19:00: Limiting beliefs about our worthiness.
21:45: Limiting beliefs about vulnerability.
25:50: Limiting beliefs related to gender socialization.
31:10: Perfectionism: Limiting beliefs that “keep us safe.”
35:30: Social Scripts: Limiting beliefs about relationships
41:45: The beliefs that un-limit us.
50:55: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We all have times in life where it feels like we’re stagnating. We’re unfulfilled, bored, or trapped in cycles of behavior that don’t serve us. We’re stuck in a rut. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can break old patterns, and get un-stuck.
Change Your Mind Workshop: Learn how to step out of old assumptions and attitudes, free yourself from limiting beliefs, and cultivate more useful, hopeful thoughts about yourself and others during this new workshop from Dr. Rick Hanson. Attend this online event live on August 28-29, or watch the recordings after. Enter code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for 25% off the purchase price.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What tends to keep us stuck in a rut?
5:15: Limiting beliefs.
7:45: Appraisals and attributions.
9:30: The invisible cage.
11:15: Challenging our assumptions.
15:20: A 3-step process for challenging assumptions.
18:30: Rick applies the process to his own material.
22:15: Core skills that support the creation of new beliefs.
25:45: Social scripts.
31:30: Key skills for building new beliefs.
34:00: Avoiding “must.”
38:00: Groups don’t like to change.
41:30: Finding those who grow alongside you.
43:20: Have the courage to change.
48:10: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're all searching for fulfillment in one way or another. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss how we can find and maintain it, and if it's truly possible to be fulfilled all the time. We're exploring how we can relate to our low moments amidst a "good vibes only" culture, what gets in the way of fulfillment, and the importance of respecting individual differences in nature.
Here's the video about fulfillment on Forrest's channel that we refer to during the episode.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: Fulfillment: “Climate” rather than “weather.”
3:20: Context for the episode: Forrest’s video.
5:00: Authentic fulfillment in the self-help space.
9:15: The tyranny of low expectations.
13:20: Eudaimonic and hedonic wellbeing.
15:30: Pitfalls of chasing fulfillment.
17:40: The importance of nature, individual variation, and circumstance.
27:00: What are the upper reaches of possibility?
29:50: Dealing with “low fulfillment” moments.
38:30: What tends to lead to fulfillment…and dealing with existential dread.
43:30: Finding meaning amidst meaninglessness.
48:05: Recap
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Just One Thing: Dr. Rick Hanson offers 3 free, regular newsletters with a variety of tips, practices, videos, meditations, and other helpful resources you can use in everyday life to grow the good that lasts. Learn more and sign up here.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Though there’s no lack of advice out there, changing in lasting ways is hard. Today Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson are joined by Dr. Katy Milkman, an expert on the science of change, to explore how we can build better habits, sustain motivation, and change for good.
About Our Guest: Dr. Katy Milkman is a Professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Her research explores ways that insights from economics and psychology can be harnessed to change consequential behaviors for good. Katy is the author of the bestselling new book How to Change: The Science of Getting From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, and is also the host of the popular podcast Choiceology with Katy Milkman.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Why is it so hard to change?
5:35: Using Rick as an example of changing a habit.
10:10: Short-term costs vs. long-term benefits.
13:45: Are we more motivated by carrots or sticks? And which sustains motivation better?
21:00: Fresh start effect.
24:00: Our bias against change.
27:30: Making internal changes.
30:30: How much can we change our nature?
36:00: Changing internal factors.
41:15: Tracking the things you’re trying to change.
45:00: Nature vs. nurture.
48:30: Durable behavior change.
55:30: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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When we’re hurt in our relationships, it’s normal to experience resentment. We don’t talk about resentment very much, we’re more likely to talk about anger, fear, or sadness. But resentment is a combination of all of those difficult feelings that causes as much harm to our relationships – and to our own well-being – as any other emotion. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore resentment: where it comes from, what it does, and what we can do about it.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What is resentment, and what function does it serve?
5:50: Resentment as repressed emotion.
9:00: Resentment and power differences.
11:10: Aspects of resentment.
12:40: Costs of resentment.
18:50: Given the costs, why do people hold on to their resentment?
22:20: Resentment connects us to people.
28:30: Healthy aspects of resentment.
31:00: Feeling "good enough."
34:00: Working with resentment: what do you want your experience to be?
42:00: Resentment as an indicator of unresolved communication.
44:30: The social functions of resentment.
48:00: Metta as an antidote to resentment.
54:30: Disentangled forgiveness.
57:00: Recap.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Just One Thing: Dr. Rick Hanson offers 3 free, regular newsletters with a variety of tips, practices, videos, meditations, and other helpful resources you can use in everyday life to grow the good that lasts. Learn more and sign up here.
Rick's Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for a free online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion every Wednesday from 6-7:30 pm PT/9-10:30 pm ET. Follow the link to learn more. If you can't join live, the sessions are recorded for later viewing.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Tara Brach joins Dr. Rick Hanson to help us learn how to "trust the gold:" recognizing and appreciating our essential human goodness, while resting in the key refuges of truth, love, and freedom.
About our Guest: Tara is the founder and guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C. Tara has taught all over the world, and is the author of four books, including her most recent book Trusting the Gold: Uncovering Your Natural Goodness. You can also find Tara through her Tara Brach podcast.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
2:05: What does it mean to “trust the gold?”
6:05: Blocks to seeing our true goodness.
9:50: The impact of childhood.
13:05: Objection #1: Fears of falling into narcissism or arrogance.
18:30: The benefits of satisfying our needs.
21:20: Objection #2: Fears of laziness and lack of success.
25:15: Two paths to trusting the gold.
30:10: “Deal with the bad, turn toward the good, take in the good.”
34:00: Letting in love.
39:55: The three kinds of gold.
44:50: Offering kindness.
47:25: Trauma, and trusting our goodness when we feel unclean.
54:25: Recognizing bad behavior while also trusting inner goodness.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Most personal growth content out there suggests having a "never give up" mindset. But the truth is that a big part of life is deciding when it's time to stop investing our limited effort into that job, skill, or relationship that's no longer serving you.
Today Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest explore how to determine when it's time for things to end, dealing with disappointment, giving ourselves credit for our good efforts, and getting excited about what's to come.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Being sure you’re not ending too soon.
4:50: Improving distress tolerance vs. protecting yourself.
9:50: Trusting the past.
13:30: What keeps people stuck: sunk cost fallacy.
14:30: The longing for a just world.
16:50: Dealing with disappointment.
22:00: Optimism, and turning toward the future.
24:30: Understanding the limitations of our environment.
27:15: Redefining success.
30:05: Knowing you gave things your best effort.
32:00: Impulsivity.
33:30: Unilateral virtue.
37:30: Finding your five.
39:30: Helping other people feel heard.
42:45: Being clear about the “last chance.”
45:30: The fear of change, and turning toward the future.
52:45: Recap.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Forrest is joined by pioneering psychologist Dr. Katherine Kinzler to explore how our speech shapes our social identity, and the views we hold about other people.
A big part of human nature is to rapidly sort people into two groups: “like me,” and “not like me.” Our general tendency is to gravitate toward people we perceive as “like me,” and avoid and oppose people we perceive as “not like me.” We use many different kinds of markers to determine which group a person belongs to: markers like perceived race, gender, political affiliation, and social class.
But there’s an often-overlooked factor that might influence how we view ourselves and others even more powerfully: the way we speak.
About Our Guest: Dr. Kinzler is a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago, and the leader of the Development of Social Cognition Laboratory. She’s also the author of the wonderful book How You Say It: Why You Talk the Way You Do―And What It Says About You.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Ideas:
2:25: Why language is such an important signifier of identity.
8:15: Why the brain cares so much about categories.
10:50: Brain plasticity and early language acquisition.
13:50: Language bias and dialectical prejudice.
19:15: Interventions for limiting linguistic prejudice.
23:00: How dialect changes as identity changes.
28:50: Consequences of dialectical prejudice.
34:30: Dialectical prejudice in the courtroom.
36:30: What can we do about dialect prejudice?
40:50: Positive results of bilingual exposure.
45:00: Becoming a better communicator.
49:00: Katherine’s “wave a magic wand” change.
51:30: When to start talking with kids about language.
53:00: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Life includes many major culminating moments: we finish the big work project, receive the award, watch the kids leave home, go on the vacation, win the title, or enter retirement. These experiences can come with enormous fulfillment…for a while. And then, we might ask ourselves: Now what? Today Rick and Forrest explore that question, including how we can relate to the past, integrate learning, turn toward the future, and age well through life.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics
1:15: Context for the episode.
4:20: Our culture’s constant focus on “what’s next?”
9:30: Cognitive bias, and the brain’s “anticipation machine.”
13:45: Developmental stages of life
17:40: Stages of integration and disintegration.
27:30: The opportunities of old age.
31:45: Rick’s reflections on aging.
35:15: Bowing to past selves.
41:40: Giving our full effort.
44:00: Being a mentor, and having things to care for.
47:45: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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We all have different parts inside of us. This is perfectly normal, not psychotic. But our relationship with some parts is often better than others, and a wonderful path to healing and growth is to repair our relationship with all of our parts. That's the premise of Internal Family Systems Therapy, and today Forrest is exploring this powerful modality with the founder of IFS: Dr. Richard Schwartz.
It's a special episode that includes a live demonstration of an IFS session between Forrest and Dr. Schwartz.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:00: Internal Family Systems' origin story.
4:30: An introduction to IFS.
12:40: Allowing the Self to help itself.
14:20: Richard and Forrest do a mock IFS session.
17:40: The "Manager" gets in the way.
18:20: "Direct access" to the "Protector" part.
24:00: Integrating the "session."
27:15: Speaking from our parts.
29:15: "No bad parts."
33:00: Working with our exiled parts.
35:10: Anger toward our parts, and self-compassion.
37:30: IFS' de-pathologizing stance, and place in the medical model.
39:40: Psychedelic assisted psychotherapy.
42:15: Trauma work, and being with the younger self.
47:45: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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One of the common topics on the podcast is developmental psychology: how what happened to us as a child can influence our lives today. Alongside that, there can also be a lot of value in reconnecting with the person we were when we were young, before the world got in the way. This can give us a sense of our true nature, and new ideas for how to become an ever-more-complete version of ourselves out in the world.
Follow this link to watch the conversation on YouTube!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:10: Uncovering our true nature.
4:20: Our cultural view of children.
7:20: “Feeling down” into younger layers.
13:30: What were you like when you were young?
18:20: A process of contacting your true nature.
25:00: What were your innate desires?
34:00: Compassion for our source.
39:00: Guiding questions, and the layers of self we can access.
43:00: The core needs of most young people.
51:40: Writing a letter to your younger self.
53:00: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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People generally think of self-compassion as a "soft" emotion that helps us comfort, reassure, and nurture ourselves. Today a pioneer in the field of compassion research, Dr. Kristin Neff, joins the show to explore the fierce side of self-compassion, including how it can help us draw healthy boundaries, take necessary action, and stand against injustice.
About Our Guest: Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She conducted the first empirical studies on self-compassion almost twenty years ago, and is the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. On June 15th she'll be releasing her new book: Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.
Watch our conversation on YouTube here!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:50: How is fierce self-compassion different from “typical” self-compassion?
5:50: The balance of fierceness and tenderness.
7:45: The importance of fierceness for women.
17:15: Practices that support fierce self-compassion.
20:30: Applying fierce self-compassion internally.
25:40: The harms of traditional gender role socialization.
32:10: What behaviors were you rewarded for?
34:45: Research on the value of self-compassion.
40:40: The impact of self-compassion on motivation.
45:15: Committing to our own well being.
50:45: How men can support women.
55:00: A message to your younger self.
57:15: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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Some of the most important moments of our lives are crossroads of different kinds. There’s a big decision, and we have to pick one thing over another. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how to make the important decisions in life.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:00: Common themes in big decisions.
5:00: Balancing short- and long-term decisions.
10:15: Knowing your own nature, and having different priorities.
17:20: Using analysis to inform intuition.
21:15: Identifying the “parts” of a decision.
22:50: Analyzing costs and benefits.
33:00: Write it down.
36:20: Working backwards.
40:30: Getting clear on what you want.
42:30: Thinking over the long haul.
43:30: The three circles.
45:00: Finding “comps.”
50:30: The calculus of a decision.
59:00: Affective forecasting
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
Build healthy habits with Most Days! Download it in the App Store or go to MostDays.com/beingwell for more information.
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In this conversation from the Life After COVID Summit, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore joins Forrest to help us put the past in perspective, and relate in healthier and more whole ways to the many things we've lost over the past year.
Last weekend Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson were joined by 11 world-class experts for a FREE three-day online event to explore how we can recover from old wounds, build key strengths, and create a better future together. Over 10,000 people joined us for the Summit, and we received incredible feedback.
If you missed it, all of the conversations will remain freely available through May 25th. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:00: Mortality salience.
5:00: Putting “little stresses” in context alongside the big ones.
6:40: The problems with “getting back to normal,” and our new opportunities.
12:10: Remember what has happened, and turning toward grief.
15:30: Practices that support us during grief.
20:30: The importance of social support.
26:50: How we can support people who are grieving.
30:15: Should we name the people who are no longer here?
31:55: Understanding the trauma associated with grief.
39:50: Working with anger.
43:40: Using the body as a tool for healing.
48:00: Caregiver fatigue.
53:30: Survival guilt.
57:30: Advice for the future.
59:20: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
Build healthy habits with Most Days! Download it in the App Store or go to MostDays.com/beingwell for more information.
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Today we’re focusing on a topic that’s been particularly important over the last year: how we can deal more effectively with life's major disruptions. This includes recovering from setbacks, finding the opportunities, and even getting the most out of disruptions that are positive.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
0:55: “One mistake after another.”
1:55: Life After COVID Summit.
5:30: The opportunities in major disruptions.
9:00: The impact of social environments on our self-identity.
11:10: The Theory of Positive Disintegration.
13:30: Framing disruption as a normal feature of life.
18:30: Examples of normal disruptions that occur in life.
21:45: The importance of social support.
23:30: Practices to limit the harm during a moment of disruption.
31:15: The necessity of eventually processing the emotion.
36:00: Taking the time you need.
39:15: Moving into action.
42:20: Integrating a disruption.
47:50: Orienting toward change.
52:00: Mindfulness of contraction and expansion.
54:20: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Build healthy habits with Most Days! Download it in the App Store or go to MostDays.com/beingwell for more information.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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We usually experience ourselves as being one "self," but we all have different characters, different "parts," running around inside our heads. And our relationship with some parts is better than others. Today's guest, Susan McConnell, joins Forrest to explore Somatic Internal Family Systems, a powerful form of therapy that helps us bring those parts together as a unified self.
About Our Guest: Susan is a senior trainer for the IFS Institute, and has taught Internal Family Systems both in the United States and around the world since 1997. She developed the Somatic IFS approach, which is a synthesis of Susan’s forty years of study, teaching, and clinical practice. Her new book Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy, came out late last year.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
3:50: The Internal Family Systems model.
8:00: The Self, and relationships between our parts.
14:30: Common parts that people tend to have.
18:30: The “spiritual bypass.”
22:45: Using the body to become aware of our parts.
30:15: The benefits of somatic psychotherapy.
33:40: The five practices of somatic IFS.
39:15: Unifying the parts.
41:20: The Six F’s for finding protector parts.
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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Henry Shukman, the guiding teacher of Mountain Cloud Zen Center, joins Rick and Forrest to explore self-transcendent experiences, relaxing self-identification, and the warm heart at the core of Zen practice.
About our Guest: Henry Shukman is a writer, poet, and Zen Master of the Sanbo Zen lineage. He’s published nine books to date which have won numerous awards, and writes regularly for Tricycle, The New York Times and other publications. His most recent book is One Blade of Grass: Finding the Old Road of the Heart, a Zen Memoir.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
1:50: How Henry came to meditative practice.
3:30: Henry’s self-transcendent experience.
7:20: How Zen practice has changed Henry’s experience of himself.
10:35: Gradual cultivation, sudden awakening.
14:30: The role of transcendent experiences.
18:50: The importance of virtue.
21:40: Unethical behavior among contemplative teachers.
22:40: The risks of “seeking” self-transcendent experiences.
27:00: A framework that supports awakening.
31:00: Where it’s valuable to rest our awareness.
35:30: Practicing when there’s suffering associated with the container of the body.
41:10: Non-separateness, and relaxing identification with self.
47:15: Fear around not-self.
48:10: “The apple falls away from the tree.”
51:15: Recap
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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Dr. Jennifer Ashton joins Rick and Forrest to discuss everything you need to know about the current state of the pandemic. This includes what vaccinated people should feel comfortable doing, the J&J vaccine pause, how to think about risk, and how we can support our mental health during the New Normal.
About Our Guest: Dr. Ashton is the Chief Medical Correspondent for ABC News, and has appeared on the ABC Network up to 14 hours a day in order to bring viewers important medical information. She is in regular contact with public health officials, including the Surgeon General and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Dr. Ashton is also the bestselling author of six books, including her recently published book The New Normal: A Roadmap to Resilience in the Pandemic Era.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
3:10: Why can’t we just go back to the “old normal?”
6:10: Being realistic about uncertainty.
7:45: The J&J vaccine pause, and why this is encouraging.
11:15: How to think about risk.
14:30: What should vaccinated people feel comfortable doing?
18:30: What else can we do to support our health right now?
20:25: The communication challenges of the pandemic.
24:40: How to “think like a doctor,” and approach new medical information.
27:30: Respecting the common good with our choices.
33:50: Mental health during a pandemic.
37:00: The RAIN method.
40:20: Compassion, grief, and interconnection.
44:00: The lack of preparation, and hopes for the future.
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
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What's the "point" of meditation, and how can we build a practice that works for us? In this episode Rick and Forrest clear up some common misconceptions about meditation, explore major forms of meditation, and share how you can get more out of your practice.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
1:15: Forrest’s history with meditation, and some of the benefits of practice.
5:30: What’s the “point” of meditation?
11:30: Skepticism toward narrow views of meditation.
14:10: Do you have to be “spiritual” or “religious” to meditate?
14:45: Three breaths practice.
16:30: Secular vs. spiritual orientations toward meditation.
17:45: The two major tools: insight vs. “calming” meditation.
20:40: Virtue, concentration, and wisdom.
23:20: The tendency to “skip” to insight.
26:30: Why Rick meditates.
32:30: What does it mean to be an “intermediate” or “advanced” meditator?
34:15: What are some of the forms meditation can take?
47:45: Recap
As a quick note, there's a little background noise at some moments during the episode.
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Over the last year we’ve all been through a lot. In addition to the many major costs, there have been smaller, subtler costs as well, including a pervasive feeling of anxiety. In this episode, Rick and Forrest walk through a normal experience of anxiety and offer some suggestions for how to overcome it.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
3:30: Accepting the presence of anxiety.
6:30: Recognize what’s alright right now.
10:00: Finding heart, and connecting with other people.
18:30: Take action.
26:30: Appreciating the biological part of anxiety.
32:00: Surrendering to what will happen.
37:00: What enables surrender?
41:20: Recap.
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
Connect with the show:
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How can we bring useful qualities of contemplative practice into our normal, everyday lives as people living in the real world? Senior meditation teacher and author Stephen Snyder joins us to explore that overarching question, alongside a variety of topics related to “not-self,” the true nature of the self, and self-transcendence.
About our Guest: Stephen is a senior meditation teach who has been practicing meditation since 1976. He’s the author of three books, including Buddha’s Heart. Stephen is also a lawyer by trade, and has practiced law on behalf of a number of Zen masters and Buddhist organizations.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:35: Stephen’s background in Buddhism.
6:30: A brief background in types of Buddhist practice.
10:30: Bringing practice into our work life.
14:00: Why do contemplative teachers behave badly?
17:50: Personality and the self.
20:00: “Not-self” and the end of suffering.
23:20: Why would we want to “transcend” the self?
26:10: Maintaining practice during a normal life.
29:45: Do we have a “self,” and the fear of emptiness.
33:30: Suffering attached to the self.
35:30: What do we get out of practice?
39:30: The purpose and limitations of meditation.
41:45: The threat of change.
44:10: The “brahmavihārās,” and Buddha’s Heart
47:00: Practices for self-development.
52:30: What’s ‘in’ a self-transcendent experience?
56:30: Ways to experience self-transcendence.
1:02:10: Recap
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
One of the hardest, and most important, parts of creating great relationships is setting healthy boundaries with other people. Boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab joins the show to explore how we can trust our instincts, work through codependency, and build better boundaries.
About Our Guest: Nedra has been a therapist for 13 years, and focuses on helping people build better relationships by teaching them how to implement healthy boundaries. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and she’s the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, on sale now.
You also might have encountered Nedra’s work on Instagram, where she has an extremely popular page that shares wonderful content.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Nedra during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
1:40: What drew Nedra to her work on boundaries.
4:25: Early signs that your boundaries are strong or flimsy.
6:20: Honoring the needs of children.
8:45: Trusting your instincts.
11:40: Codependency.
13:05: How healthy boundaries support intimate relationships.
15:15: Distinctions between different kinds of boundaries
17:20: Working with feelings of selfishness.
19:45: Walking through a process of setting a boundary.
23:30: Anxiety associated with setting boundaries.
26:00: Dealing with people who won’t change.
30:40: Self-esteem and self-worth.
35:55: Fear and guilt.
39:50: Teaching people that boundaries are okay.
44:30: Respecting the boundaries of other people.
46:30: Accepting and letting go.
51:00: Creating healthy internal boundaries.
54:00: A message to your younger self.
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The creator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Steven C. Hayes, joins the show to help us explore how to use techniques from this powerful approach to therapy to address major challenges and improve our wellbeing.
About our Guest: Dr. Steven C. Hayes is Nevada Foundation Professor in the Behavior Analysis program at the Department of Psychology of the University of Nevada. He's the creator of ACT, and the author of 44 books and over 600 scientific articles. His most recent book is A Liberated Mind: How To Pivot Toward What Matters, an essential guide to ACT.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Dr. Hayes during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:25: The basics of ACT.
5:30: The Lord of the Rings and psychological flexibility.
7:15: Accepting our own history.
10:45: How can we accept painful things?
13:45: Language, technology, and how it gets in the way.
18:00: Coming into the present moment.
21:00: Determinism, autonomy, and agency.
26:30: How can we make change last?
29:30: Steven’s experience with accepting tinnitus.
34:45: How to keep growing when the world pushes back.
45:30: Giving people an opportunity to impress you.
49:00: Dealing with anger.
53:30: Pitfalls while using ACT.
56:10: Recap
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we bring together psychological science and contemplative practice, and what can we all learn from the world’s great wisdom traditions? Dr. Roger Walsh, a professor of psychiatry, philosophy, and anthropology, and expert on the world's great wisdom traditions, joins the show to help us explore this central question.
About Our Guest: Roger is professor of psychiatry, philosophy, and anthropology, as well as professor in the religious studies program at UC Irvine. His scholarship has had a huge impact on the fields he’s participated in, and he’s the author of a number of wonderful books.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
1:35: What drew such a successful academic toward contemplative practice?
7:30: Conflict and synergy between psychological science and contemplative practice.
10:30: The challenges of translating ancient wisdom.
12:25: The maturation of spiritual faith.
16:30: What helps people move from one developmental stage to another?
22:00: The gradual process of self-development.
25:15: Commonalities among the world’s many wisdom traditions.
33:00: Things that hold us back.
39:45: Therapeutic lifestyle changes.
44:00: What can we do for the world?
50:50: Many small impacts.
53:00: Non-judgementality and non-attachment.
58:00: Recap
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ever heard of the marshmallow experiment? The 10,000 hour rule? How about the Dunning-Kruger effect, the Stanford prison experiment, or willpower fatigue? These are some of the most well-known pieces of research from the social sciences. And they all share one problem: they're wrong. Or, at least, they're really misunderstood.
On this episode of "10 Good Minutes," Forrest explores social science's Replicability Crisis, and asks whether you can actually trust the research that goes into Being Well.
If you'd like to watch this episode rather than listen to it, Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch the video over there.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Cited Research:
Kruger, J.; Dunning, D. (1999) "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.”
Nuhfer, Edward; Cogan, Christopher; Fleischer, Steven; Gaze, Eric; Wirth, Karl. (2016) "Random Number Simulations Reveal How Random Noise Affects the Measurements and Graphical Portrayals of Self-Assessed Competency.”
Shoda, Y., Mischel, W., & Peake, P. K. (1990). Predicting adolescent cognitive and self-regulatory competencies from preschool delay of gratification: Identifying diagnostic conditions.
Tyler W. Watts, Greg J. Duncan, Haonan Quan. (2018) Revisiting the Marshmallow Test: A Conceptual Replication Investigating Links Between Early Delay of Gratification and Later Outcomes.
B. Nyhan , J. Reifler. (2010) “When Corrections Fail: The Persistence of Political Misperceptions.” Wood, T., Porter, E. (2018) “The Elusive Backfire Effect: Mass Attitudes' Steadfast Factual Adherence.”
Brown NJ, Sokal AD, Friedman HL. (2013). The complex dynamics of wishful thinking: the critical positivity ratio.
Haney, C., Banks, C., & Zimbardo, P. (1973). Study of Prisoners and Guards in a Simulated Prison. Baumeister, R.F. (2002) Ego Depletion and Self-Control Failure: An Energy Model of the Self's Executive Function.
Carter E.C., Kofler L.M., Forster D.E., McCullough M.E. (2015) A series of meta-analytic tests of the depletion effect: Self-control does not seem to rely on a limited resource.
Brown N.J., Sokal A.D., Friedman H.L. (2013). The complex dynamics of wishful thinking: the critical positivity ratio.
Ericsson, A. K. (2008) Deliberate Practice and Acquisition of Expert Performance: A General Overview.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
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During this time of increased isolation our needs for connection are harder to meet than ever. Today Rick and Forrest are exploring how we can use the psychological technique of "attunement" to connect better with others, and meet our own need for connection.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:15: Moments that satisfy our need for connection.
5:45: The “Still Face Experiment”
8:55: Attention, availability, responsiveness.
10:35: Which relationships fill you up?
13:50: What is attunement?
18:40: The “emotional risk” of attunement.
24:30: Paying attention.
31:20: Being open to being changed.
33:10: Do I matter to you?
37:30: Availability and co-regulation.
41:15: “Our interactions are systems.”
42:30: Rick pushes back a bit on co-regulation.
44:50: The impact of our nature on how we view interactions.
47:45: Becoming responsive.
52:40: Communicating wants and needs.
57:40: Respecting your own needs.
59:15: The impact of social power and privilege on our interactions.
1:04:30: Recap
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Everyone has needs, there’s no avoiding them. In order to "be well" we need to meet those needs. But being "needy" is often viewed as a weakness, and accepting that we have needs can be painful.
On today's episode, Rick and Forrest explore how we can accept our needs, identify the needs that are most important to us, and build the resources to meet our needs and the needs of other people.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:30: The three core needs.
5:00: What it feels like when you don’t meet your needs.
8:45: The pain of not meeting needs for connection.
13:30: Rick’s story of coming to terms with being “needy.”
20:00: Admitting our needs.
27:00: Identifying our primary needs.
31:00: Forrest and Rick process an interaction.
37:45: Trying on different ways of being.
39:45: Key suggestions for identifying needs.
44:45: Resilience through meeting needs.
46:30: Meeting the needs of other people.
54:30: Healthy boundaries.
1:04:00: Recap
Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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Relationships are hard, and making them last is even harder. Today we’re exploring how we can be happier and healthier in all of our relationships with a wonderful clinician, teacher, and researcher: Dr. Stan Tatkin.
About our Guest: Dr. Stan Tatkin is an expert on human behavior, and particularly the unique dynamics found in couples relationships. He’s the creator of PACT: the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, and the author of six bestselling books, including Wired for Love and We Do.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
1:45: The importance of attachment.
5:30: What happens when children are neglected?
9:00: Finding safety in our relationships.
13:30: How to build safety through physical cues.
19:10: Apology, and building a culture in our relationships.
23:00: Finding common principles.
31:00: Dealbreakers, and entering relationships intentionally.
37:00: Fairness in our relationships.
45:30: Being and staying interested.
49:15: Trusting your partner’s experience.
54:50: The most important characteristics in a life partner.
57:00: What’s the most important thing you do each day for your own well-being?
58:30: A message to your younger self.
1:00:00: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We generally focus on topics related to mental health, but there's nothing like a pandemic to throw the importance of our physical health into sharp relief! Today Forrest is joined by Dr. Tim Spector to explore the importance of personalizing your nutrition, how our diet can help fight COVID, and why most everything we've been told about food is wrong.
About Our Guest: Dr. Tim Spector is professor of genetic epidemiology and Director of the TwinsUK Registry at Kings College, London. He’s also one of the leaders of the COVID Symptom Study, and one of the founders of the health science company Zoe . He's the author of The Diet Myth, and his most recent book is Spoon-Fed: Why Almost Everything We’ve Been Told about Food is Wrong.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:05: What is the microbiome?
4:10: How diet interacts with your unique microbiome.
6:45: The PREDICT 1 study, and the limited impact of genetics.
9:30: Why personalized nutrition is so important.
12:00: The meaningless nature of calorie counts.
17:00: Running experiments with your nutrition.
22:30: Microbes and mood.
24:40: Intermittent fasting.
30:15: The role of processed food.
35:15: The microbiome and COVID.
41:00: Polyphenols.
43:00: Vitamins and COVID.
48:50: Recap
If you're interested in any of Zoe's offerings, Tim offered the discount code BEINGWELL35 for our listeners.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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There are times in our lives when we recognize that something’s got to change. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore a big question: What goes into making who we are, and how can we give ourselves the freedom to grow and change over time?
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
2:00: What does “self-concept” mean?
6:00: Where does self-concept come from?
11:30: Different ways to understand childhood development.
17:00: Why is it so hard for people to change?
26:00: Social forces that prevent us from changing.
33:00: Three case studies of personal change.
34:00: Who owns the problem?
38:30: Do you really want it?
44:30: We can change if we’re willing to take risks.
52:00: Trusting yourself, and feeling validated.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Tara Brach joins Rick and Forrest to explore how we can find more compassion and acceptance while maintaining our motivation to change ourselves, and our world, in positive ways.
About Our Guest: Tara is the founder and guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C., and has a doctorate in clinical psychology. She is the author of three books: Radical Acceptance, True Refuge, and most recently Radical Compassion, and leads one of the largest mental-health and Buddhism-focused podcasts in the world.
Key Topics:
2:00: Why “radical?” What does it mean to have “radical compassion?”
6:30: Practical applications of “no self.”
9:00: Maintaining “less self” while also being motivated to change.
10:30: How can we “accept ourselves” while also wanting to change in positive ways?
12:30: What gets in the way of compassion and self-acceptance.
17:15: The “trance” that keeps us away from compassion.
20:00: The RAIN meditation.
27:15: Making it easier to nurture ourselves.
32:15: “After the rain.”
34:00: Can, and should, we find acceptance and compassion for people we disagree with?
41:45: Coming to terms with our participation in systems of oppression.
48:50: Hope during challenging times.
52:30: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
With so much challenging stuff going on in the world around us these days, it's natural to ask a simple question: how much control do we have over how happy we are?
On this episode of "10 Good Minutes," Forrest explores the research behind happiness, reveals the most important factors, and gives some practical advice for maximizing sustainable well-being.
If you'd like to watch this episode rather than listen to it, Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch the video over there.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Research:
Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change
Our podcast episode with Dr. Lyubomirsky.
Twin studies find that identical twins raised in different households are more similar in their level of happiness than fraternal twins raised in the same household.
Emotional well-being decouples from income at ~$75,000/year.
BRAND NEW research suggests that "experienced well-being" continues to rise as income increases above $75,000/year.
Circumstantial factors that most consistently predict high subjective well being.
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When we’re presented with challenging circumstances it’s natural for us to cope with them through a wide variety of behaviors. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore one of the most common coping mechanisms: dissociation. This includes what it is, the function it serves, the experiences that can lead to dissociation, and what we can do about it.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:00: What is dissociation?
9:35: “Fragmentation and separation.”
11:45: Recovered and implanted memory.
17:45: Why do people dissociate?
22:10: Common symptoms of dissociation.
29:30: The risks of over-pathologizing.
31:40: Coming into your own life.
36:20: Growing self-worth as an antidote for dissociation.
40:15: Challenges of mindfulness for dissociation.
43:00: Focusing on an aspect of experience.
46:30: Enjoyment as a grounding experience.
48:55: “Our nature is to be associated.”
51:30: Recap
Sponsors:
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On this timely episode, Dr. Bruce Perry joins the podcast to explore how we can limit the long-term impact of stressful events, and heal from past traumatic experiences.
About Our Guest: Dr. Bruce Perry is one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma, and his clinical research and practice focuses on examining the long-term effects of trauma in children, adolescents, and adults. He is the Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, and the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog.
Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Dr. Perry during this FREE three-day online event to explore our "new normal." Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now.
Key Topics:
1:15: Pandemic fatigue.
4:45: Experiencing acute stressors alongside chronic stress.
7:20: Practices to help yourself de-stress.
11:30: The impact of stress on our ability to regulate ourselves.
13:30: How to limit the long-term impact of stressful events.
18:40: How we can explore traumatic material without re-traumatizing ourselves.
23:30: Avoiding helplessness, and experiencing control and agency.
25:30: Dissociation as a coping response.
31:00: Disruptions of attunement.
36:00: Caregiver fatigue, and caring for ourselves.
41:30: The pandemic’s impact on people who have been previously traumatized.
44:00: A wish for the future.
46:00: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
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We’re somehow both more efficient than ever before, and, at the same time, busier than ever before. All of the many ways that we’ve found to optimize our performance has led to much more "doing," and not nearly as much "being." Today Rick and Forrest explore how we can get more in touch with being, and how by focusing more on "being" we might even be able to "do" more than ever before.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Ideas:
1:10: Rick making dad jokes.
2:00: The difference between “doing” and “being.”
6:20: Getting wrapped up in doing that crowds out “being.”
10:15: Craving in the brain.
15:05: How to grow what we want to be.
21:40: Allowing “being” to create friction-less “doing.”
25:45: How to get in touch with the feeling of “being.”
31:50: Internal resistance to being.
35:30: Who are you when you’re not scared?
41:15: Recap
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
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What allows people to push on even during the darkest times? And how can we use that answer to influence our behavior, or the behavior of other people? Today Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Tali Sharot to explore the optimism bias, how optimism can exist alongside negativity, and how we can influence others more effectively.
About our Guest: Dr. Sharot is a Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at University College London, and the director of the Affective Brain Lab. She’s also the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, and The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Ideas:
1:30: What is the optimism bias, and how does it appear in people’s lives?
3:30: Where does the optimism bias come from? Did we evolve it?
8:45: How can someone cultivate an attitude of optimism?
13:00: Bringing good things into our awareness.
16:30: The negativity bias vs. the optimism bias.
19:30: Negativity, positivity, and memory.
23:00: The impact of surprise on our memory.
27:30: What helps us change our behavior and form new habits?
30:00: Changing behavior and beliefs on a national scale.
34:30: What really influences people's behavior?
40:00: Is human nature more positive or more negative?
44:00: Recap
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
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What do you want to achieve in 2021? In this short episode, Dr. Rick Hanson walks you through a guided practice focused on helping you achieve your goals.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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We all have something we want to do "someday," but for most of us "someday" just never seems to come around. Here's how to make 2021 the year you finally put all the pieces together, and achieve the goals you've set for yourself.
Key Topics:
4:00: What leads to change that lasts?
5:40: Do you really WANT to change?
9:00: How to change your self-concept.
14:00: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”
16:00: Small changes that lead to big ones.
20:00: Appreciating the finite nature of life.
22:30: “What do you want to give as a gift to the person you will be tomorrow?”
25:30: What makes for a good resolution?
29:00: Using Forrest as a guinea pig: setting good goals and maximizing your resolutions.
33:00: Picking very clear commitments, and making things simple.
34:30: Thinking about how it would feel at the end of 2021 if you accomplished what you set out to do.
41:00: Finding consistent effort.
45:00: Summarizing the key questions.
48:00: Recap.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We all have things that frighten us. But some fears can become so core to who we are that we start to organize our lives around not having to experience them. In this not-to-be-missed episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can identify and face our "dreaded experiences," which exert a quiet power over our lives.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:40: What is a “dreaded experience?”
6:40: The three step process of a dreaded experience.
9:10: The critical distinction between “event” and “experience.”
12:20: Forrest’s dreaded experiences.
16:30: Normal avoidance vs. making yourself small.
18:15: Where do dreaded experiences come from?
24:10: Starting to risk the dreaded experience.
29:00: Ways to start safely facing fears.
38:00: Identifying your dreaded experience.
41:20: Being seen as your whole self.
46:30: Our journey of growth.
49:30: Recap
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Why does talking to a therapist have such a huge impact on people's lives? On the first edition of "10 Good Minutes," Forrest Hanson dives into the research behind the key factor in any therapeutic relationship.
If you enjoy this episode, you'll love our Patreon account!
Studies:
Psychotherapy is as effective for the treatment of depression as medication.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is particularly effective when it comes to treating depression and anxiety disorders.
Only a few of the studies demonstrating therapy’s effectiveness provide evidence without bias, and there’s a lot of publication bias.
Psychotherapy changes how clients use their brains in meaningful ways.
Therapeutic outcome doesn’t seem to be affected by how experienced the therapist is.
The strength of the alliance established between therapist and client is a key factor.
Empathy appears to be a key factor in the formation of a strong alliance and therapeutic outcomes more generally.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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Does power corrupt? Where does compassion come from? And do positive or negative emotions serve as the basis for our true nature? Today we're exploring these questions with Dr. Dacher Keltner, a world-class expert on emotion, power, and morality.
About Our Guest: Dr. Keltner is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, where he directs the Berkeley Social Interaction Lab. He’s also the founder and co-director of the Greater Good Science Center. Dr. Keltner is also the author of three books: Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, and most recently, The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence.
Here's the referenced research from Dacher on emotion and facial expression.
Key Topics:
2:15: What is an emotion, and how many emotions are there?
7:45: The complex weave of positive emotions.
11:30: Why did we evolve positive emotions?
15:00: The influence of compassion.
20:45: Power dynamics, and in-groups vs. out-groups.
25:30: How and why power corrupts.
33:30: Are we only nice to other people because we have to be?
38:45: Finding awe in mystery.
44:00: Committing to daily practice.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need. Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
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It’s been a long, strange, challenging year. As we get toward the end of it, and look forward to 2021, it feels appropriate to start by taking a look back and seeing what, if anything, we can learn from the year that’s gone by.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:30: The importance of internal resources.
4:15: "It can happen to us too."
6:00: Putting more effort into what’s local.
8:30: Interdependence and interconnection.
12:30: Appreciating the pains that aren’t happening.
17:30: Seeing clearly and allowing yourself to take appropriate action.
22:30: Your compassion is not dependent.
25:45: Avoiding playing into grievance theater.
30:40: Nonattachment.
33:00: Focusing on what really matters, and being fed up.
38:45: Lessons from our listeners.
43:30: What’s still here?
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We're all subject to forms of bias and prejudice. On this episode, Forrest and Rick are joined by Dr. Jack Glaser, an expert on intergroup bias and racial prejudice, to explore what we can do to overcome our innate tendencies.
About the Guest: Dr. Jack Glaser is a Professor at the Goldman School of Public Policy at UC Berkeley. He studies intergroup biases and the unconscious operation of stereotypes and prejudice, and is particularly interested in racial profiling. Jack is also the author of Suspect Race: Causes & Consequences of Racial Profiling, and is on the board of the Center for Policing Equity.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:15: Jack’s history, what drew him to the study of bias.
4:50: What is implicit bias?
10:30: What’s the purpose of bias, where does it come from, and what consequences does it create?
18:15: How individual biases scale up to groups and systems.
23:10: The myth of meritocracy.
25:30: Assimilation, accommodation, and bias.
27:25: Errors of attribution.
30:00: The lens we view our world through, and “alternative facts.”
36:00: Can we become less biased?
42:45: Can we deliberately override our biases through effort?
48:45: Fighting bias is an ongoing process.
50:30: Bias under pressure, and what we can do.
1:01:10: “The brain does crazy stuff sometimes.”
1:03:00: Recap
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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On today's short episode, Dr. Rick Hanson leads a guided meditation aimed at experiencing gratitude and finding the small pleasures in life.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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The holidays are coming up, and for many people they’re likely to be very different this year from usual. Experiencing sadness or disappointment around the holidays is normal even among the best circumstances, and we're far from those. On this episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how to work with this year's natural feelings of sadness and disappointment.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
4:50: A therapy session focused on sadness with Rick.
9:30: Associations between current sad experiences and our past material.
11:45: A process for experiencing and working with sadness.
17:45: Imagery to aid experiencing.
19:00: Helping sadness soften and release.
24:30: Non-judgement
28:40: Identifying underlying beliefs.
29:40: Letting in good experiences alongside challenging ones.
33:10: Finding the root experience, and communicating our needs.
37:00: Sadness vs. depression.
41:30: Dealing with disappointment.
45:00: Finding agency in a moment of disappointment.
48:10: “Strong hopes, weak expectations.”
50:20: Recap.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Learning is the single most important skill: if you know how to learn, you can get good at anything else. Today we're joined by Josh Kaufman, author of The Personal MBA, to explore the 20 hour rule, the problems with 10,000 hours, cognitive biases, and how you can learn anything more quickly.
About our Guest: Josh is the author of three bestselling books: The Personal MBA, The First 20 Hours, and How to Fight a Hydra. The Personal MBA is a #1 international bestseller, and he's also responsible for one of my favorite TED talks which has more than 22 million views - The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:15: Why focus on business and learning?
5:30: 20 hours vs. 10,000 hours.
9:00: The power law of practice.
11:30: Precommitment, and making it through 20 hours.
15:00: The importance of deliberate practice.
17:00: Fast feedback loops.
19:45: Breaking big tasks into small tasks.
26:40: Responses to threat, and how our psychological state impacts learning.
32:30: Cognitive biases and social proof.
38:40: “Commitment and consistency” bias.
46:00: Recap.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
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If you live in the United States – and probably for many people who don’t – it’s been a bit of a stressful week. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest talk about relaxing anxiety, weathering the storm, and taking in the year as a whole.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:30: Where do we want to allocate our attention?
5:00: Rational, appropriate stress and anxiety.
8:00: The cost of ‘negative’ emotions.
12:30: Practices of calming stress.
14:45: Giving yourself grace, and accepting some amount of stress.
17:40: Deal with the bad, turn toward the good, take in the good.
22:15: Seeing what is true.
26:45: Being happy when others are not.
36:40: A practice for calming and centering.
44:45: Learning from the hard parts of practice.
If you'd like to learn more about Jaimal Yogis, here's his website.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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In the second part of our 10 most essential lessons for a great life, we explore accepting difference, open heartedness, healthy skepticism, embracing life, and impermanence.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:30: Different people are different.
10:00: Open your heart.
13:45: Open heartedness as a ‘field.’
19:20: Cultivate a stance of healthy skepticism.
27:00: Honor the gift of your life.
33:00: All things end.
37:00: The feeling of one minute.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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What are the most essential lessons we've ever learned? Today we're exploring the first half of our 10 most important practices, skills, techniques, and reflections for the long road of life. Today we cover getting on your own side, the impact of childhood, widening your view, slowing down, and taking in the good.
A quick summary of Rick's approach to taking in the good.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:30: Introduction: The view from the porch.
4:10: Get on your own side.
7:10: Respect the impact of childhood experiences.
13:20: Widen your view.
21:10: Grow the space between stimulus and response.
30:00: Take in the good.
44:00: Recap and ending.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
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About the Episode: Studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. Celeste Headlee, an award winning journalist, joins us to explore how we can navigate the many hard conversations that are happening these days.
About our Guest: In her 20-year career in public radio, Celeste appeared on NPR, PRI, CNN, and the BBC. She has been the Executive Producer of On Second Thought for Georgia Public Broadcasting, and anchored shows including Tell Me More, Talk of the Nation, All Things Considered, and Weekend Edition at NPR.
Celeste is also the author of two wonderful books: We Need To Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter and Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving.
Here's a summary of George Lakoff's framing theory that was mentioned during our conversation.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:30: “Pandemic okay.”
4:45: Being a good talker vs. being a good conversationalist.
7:15: Why intelligent people can struggle to be good conversationalists.
11:30: Working with the inevitable presence of bias.
14:15: Facts, feelings, and frame theory.
18:00: Metacognition and confirmation bias.
22:45: Do facts change people’s opinions?
24:45: Making it easy for people to change their mind.
31:00: Maintaining our mental health inside hard conversations.
35:45: “Bothsides-ism”
40:00: How to engage when someone’s argument isn’t based on facts you agree with.
45:00: Doing less to do more.
50:00: The power of weak ties, and the negative impact of too much tech.
53:00: A message to your younger self.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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It’s one thing to use some of the tools that we talk about on this podcast when things feel stable and are going “good enough.” It’s another to apply them when the world feels threatening. Today we’re learning how to have more 'equanimity,' which is what allows us to maintain our composure, presence of mind, and perhaps even wellbeing under challenging circumstances.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:30: How do we define equanimity?
4:00: Psychological experience of equanimity.
4:30: Hedonic tone.
8:00: Brain science behind equanimity.
11:30: Liking and wanting.
14:30: Equanimity in secular Buddhism.
15:30: Equanimity, privilege, and gaslighting.
22:00: Dealing with unfairness.
26:30: Responding to painful experiences in the moment.
30:30: The ‘four foundations’ of equanimity.
35:30: Manage aversion.
37:30: Grow the good.
39:15: Find what endures.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we be more productive, and improve our ability to focus on the things we really care about, without it becoming a source of stress? Chris Bailey, who TED described as "possibly the most productive person you could ever meet," joins us to explore how to get your brain to focus.
About our Guest: Chris is the bestselling author of Hyperfocus and The Productivity Project, and his website A Life of Productivity has a small army of devoted readers. Chris' wonderful TED talk, How to Get Your Brain to Focus, touches on many of the topics we explore in this episode.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
3:15: What does it mean to be productive?
5:00: A year of productivity.
7:00: What is the goal of productivity?
10:45: Defining success, and the Rule of Threes.
15:30: Our negative attitudes toward productivity.
18:30: Defining and finding intentionality.
22:40: Productivity benefits of meditation.
31:20: Finding fulfillment and working calmly.
36:15: Maintaining focus and productivity during challenging times.
41:30: The TV and your attention.
49:00: How to build our capacity for focus.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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How have children experienced this year's challenges, and how can we get better at talking with them about race and racism?
Today we’re focusing on trauma, resilience, and effective coping, and particularly on the unique challenges experienced by young people and their parents.
About our Guest: Dr. Allison Briscoe-Smith is a child clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma and issues of race. She is a senior fellow of Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and is both a professor and the Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at the Wright Institute.
Here's Allison's wonderful article on parenting during overwhelming times that I referenced during our conversation.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:25: Honoring the small challenges alongside the big ones.
5:30: What challenges are children facing this year?
7:30: How are children processing our challenges differently from adults?
9:50: Helping children manage this time.
11:30: Finding hope, and having things to look forward to.
13:30: Signs of PTSD, and listening to our children.
16:30: How can we get better at talking to kids?
21:00: How children are processing racial violence.
24:10: Talking with children about racial violence.
28:00: Bias, implicit and otherwise.
34:30: How does bias find its way into the virtual classroom?
37:05: What are we privileging in different spaces?
42:00: The first time a kid experiences or perpetrates racism.
48:30: Creating a family mission statement.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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How can we maintain contentment, calm, or inner peace, while still aiming high, pursuing good goals, and experiencing natural frustration and anger? And is contentment even a good goal when there's so much injustice out in the world?
Rick's Course: If you'd like to learn how to change your brain for the better, check out Rick's Positive Neuroplasticity Training. It's a six-week online course that will teach you how to beat your brain's negativity bias, and have more confidence, compassion, and inner peace. Use coupon code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price.
Key Topics:
1:45: Why contentment matters.
4:30: Can we be content when things are hard?
6:00: Being skeptical of the “wanting mind.”
8:30: How can we return to contentment when moved from it?
12:10: What’s wrong with being driven? Does contentment make us lazy?
16:20: Self-actualization and taking action from a place of fullness.
19:00: Staying content while performing basic tasks.
21:50: Contentment vs. complacency.
25:20: Content while hurt or angry.
29:30: How to build contentment when times are tough.
35:00: Can we be content and afraid?
46:00: Recap
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we find happiness even when times are challenging? Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar joins us to explore authentic happiness, accepting difficult emotions, and giving yourself permission to be human.
About our Guest: Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar is the bestselling author of six books, founder of the Happiness Studies Academy, and former professor of two of the largest courses in Harvard’s history. Learn more about his Certificate in Happiness Studies program here. Use the code HAPPY for a 10% discount.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:45: Unhappiness in spite of success.
4:15: How do you define happiness?
5:50: Combining self-actualization with in-the-moment happiness.
8:45: Accepting our painful emotions.
10:10: Giving ourselves permission to be human.
19:10: What did students learn in Tal’s courses that they didn’t expect?
22:30: How to make hard personal choices.
28:00: Authenticity and comparison.
30:15: Does pursuing happiness actually make you unhappy?
36:10: Creating lasting change.
40:10: Happiness as a business value-add.
43:00: Managing expectations.
46:00: The Happiness Studies Academy.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Today, we're exploring the single most important skill we will ever teach on this podcast: How to change the brain in lasting ways.
The dirty secret of the personal growth industry, and self-help and psychology more broadly, is that most of what we learn doesn't stick. So, what can we do to achieve the ‘holy grail’ of personal growth – lasting change in our hearts, minds, and behaviors?
Rick's Course: If you'd like to learn more about how to change your brain for the better, check out Rick's Positive Neuroplasticity Training. It's a six-week online course that will teach you how to beat your brain's negativity bias, and have more confidence, compassion, and inner peace. Use coupon code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!
Key Topics:
3:30: What is neuroplasticity?
8:00: The power of deliberate practice.
9:30: Meditation and the brain.
12:45: Why is it so hard to change? The negativity bias.
19:45: Human exceptionalism and energy conservation.
23:00: An experiential example.
30:30: How to change deep-seated issues.
36:45: The Positive Neuroplasticity Training.
39:15: Changing self-concept to change behavior.
49:00: Participating in who you are becoming.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
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What are the consequences of growing up inside an abusive family, and what can we do as adults to heal old wounds? Today we're joined by Pete Walker, a practicing therapist and expert in Complex PTSD.
About Our Guest: Pete is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area, who specializes in helping adults who were traumatized in childhood. He’s the author of three books, including Complex PTSD : From Surviving To Thriving. It’s a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life as an adult.
Pete has a variety of resources on his website, including his 13 Steps of Emotional Flashback Management.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Timestamps:
3:00: What distinguishes CPTSD from PTSD?
5:55: CPTSD as “developmental trauma disorder”
8:55: Presence of the bad vs. absence of the good.
11:40: The importance of empathy.
13:35: “They’re crazy or I’m crazy,” and the consequences of that.
17:10: Healthy anger.
19:00: Becoming a support to yourself.
21:30: Stages of recovery.
25:00: Corrective emotional experiences.
27:30: The lifelong process of recovery.
32:10: Reparenting and the inner child.
34:45: Managing the relationship with our family of origin.
41:30: Forgiveness.
44:30: The inner critic and internalized abusers.
48:30: A message to your younger self.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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What makes for a great team – whether personal or professional – and how can organizations and individuals create a more psychologically healthy environment?
Many of us have been fortunate enough to be on a really great team…and most all of us have probably been on a bad one. So, what makes for a great team – whether personal or professional – and is it as simple as just being good at your job, or is there more to it than that? It turns out one of the key factors is called psychological safety, which we'll be learning about today with the help of a world-class expert.
About our Guest: Dr. Amy Edmondson is the Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School, where she studies teaming, psychological safety, and organizational learning. She’s the author of six books, including her most recent book, The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation and Growth.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:00: What is psychological safety?
7:15: How does psychological safety relate to personality?
11:45: Stress and high performance.
14:00: Me vs. We
17:30: Psychological safety vs. psychological abuse.
22:00: Creating a safe group environment.
27:00: Accepting responsibility.
31:30: Psychological safety in virtual environments.
34:00: Giving good feedback.
37:30: Just one thing.
41:30: A message to your younger self.
Sponsors:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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Sharon Salzberg, one of the most prominent teachers of mindfulness in the West, joins us to discuss how we can create real change in our hearts, minds, and lives.
About our Guest: Sharon Salzberg is a central figure in the field of meditation, a world-renowned teacher and NY Times bestselling author. Her 11th book, Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World, comes out September 1st. She's also the host of the fantastic Metta Hour podcast.
New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Key Topics:
2:45: Sharon’s experience over the last few months.
4:30: Feeling the breath.
6:20: Sitting with painful feelings.
7:15: Turning toward the good, and metta.
10:15: “Mindfulness to change the world.”
13:30: Key skills from Real Change.
18:00: Dealing with burnout and overwhelm.
24:30: Grief.
28:00: Effective compassion vs. empathic overwhelm.
33:00: Generosity, and giving to fill your own cup.
36:00: Metta.
38:00: Kindness toward difficult people.
40:00: Doing what you can.
42:00: Patience, and putting wins on the board.
45:00: A message to your younger self.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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In part two of our conversation, we explore some of the key psychological skills that lead to a truly great relationship informed by 35 years of couples counseling experience.
The Relationships Workshop: Join Rick for a live, online relationship workshop that will teach you how to have more fulfilling, effective, and joyful relationships than ever before. Follow the link to learn more, and podcast listeners can enter code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!
Key Skills:
3:00: Give your full attention.
6:30: Tune into your body.
7:20: Cultivate interest.
11:00: How can we know if we’re actually empathic?
13:00: Your attention is yours.
16:00: Accepting some level of discomfort.
17:45: Getting comfortable with people wanting things from you.
21:00: Three stories of relating.
22:30: Fulfilling relationship tasks.
24:30: Changing our relationship to criticism.
30:30: Chronic giving, and setting firm boundaries.
37:30: Cultivating a stronger sense of self.
44:30: Talk about what matters.
50:50: The desire to be found.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We all want great relationships - ones that are fulfilling, loving, stable, and fun. This is the first of two episodes focused on becoming a 'great relater.' Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on understanding our individual attachment style, and how we can work through our personal material.
The Relationships Workshop: Join Rick for his online relationship workshop that will teach you how to have more fulfilling, effective, and joyful relationships than ever before. Follow the link to learn more, and podcast listeners can enter code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!
Key Topics:
0:25: Staying content while striving for achievement.
4:00: Information on the relationship workshop.
6:20: Who helps you feel enlarged?
7:55: Rick makes fun of Forrest…and managing different levels of standard.
9:00: Building a good relator.
10:15: Attachment theory
17:00: Getting less attached to our attachment style.
19:15: Insecure attachment styles.
23:00: What issues does anxious attachment create?
26:00: A relationship between anxious and avoidant.
29:00: Skills for relating with an anxious person.
32:00: Finding optimal distance.
35:30: Working through a dreaded experience.
39:30: Exposure and blame.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Use code beingwell to let them know you came from us.
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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In the second episode related to the pitfalls of self-help, we explore how individuals and environments can manipulate others by making them feel like something is wrong with them.
This is a self-help podcast. And there's a lot to like about self-help! But it has it's issues as well. Today we're exploring our exploration of those issues by focusing on painful forms of comparison and the natural vs. supernatural frame.
Key Topics:
2:45: Being goal directed vs. self-acceptance.
6:50: Exploitative practices and the fragile psyche.
10:20: Relating to “problems” in healthy ways.
14:20: Comparison and creating a sense of lack.
16:30: Identifying good teachers and communities.
21:30: Comparison.
24:00: Separating means and ends.
26:00: How to deal with comparison.
30:30: How much do we actually control?
33:00: The Secret, and the natural vs. supernatural frames.
39:15: Cheapening the truly transcendent.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
From our Sponsors
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Dr. Stephen Porges joins Rick and Forrest to explore his Polyvagal Theory, which explains how we can use the systems of the body to completely change our relationship with stress.
About Our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University and Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina. In 1994 he proposed the Polyvagal Theory, a theory that links the evolution of the nervous system to social behavior and emphasizes the importance of physiological states in our psychological experiences.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:45: Summary of Polyvagal Theory.
6:00: Evolutionary neuro-biology: the three systems of the body.
15:15: The adaptive nature of the three systems.
19:45: Shutdown, trauma, and constructing a narrative.
23:00: Challenges of COVID to the social engagement system
28:15: How to intervene in the body.
33:00: Being stuck with problematic people.
35:30: Using the breath and staying calm.
38:00: Co-regulation
42:00: A message to your younger self.
From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Sponsors:
Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do self-help environments force us into inauthentic happiness? And how can we move away from the false front, and into more authentic expression? This is the first of a series of episodes dedicated to some of the self-help community's pitfalls.
This is a self-help podcast. And there's a lot to like about self-help! But it has it's issues as well. Today we're exploring one of them: toxic positivity and forced happiness.
New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Key Topics:
3:00: Rick’s personal experience inside the personal development world.
8:00: Things that tend to limit abuses of power.
10:00: The democratization of self-help, and related pitfalls.
18:00: Act, scared self, and true being.
21:00: Where does toxic positivity appear?
26:00: The importance of authenticity.
29:30: The false front.
32:30: Encouraging other people to be fully authentic.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson:
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Connect with the show:
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We're halfway through a very strange year, and it's a good time to take stock, check in with ourselves, and establish some new commitments – even if they’re as simple as being kind to ourselves.
One way we can reclaim our experience of agency is by finding where we do still have influence over our outcomes. And that’s what we’ll be exploring today: how to start anew under the circumstances we find ourselves in.
New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Key Topics:
3:45: Hope and disappointment.
7:30: Reckoning, repentance, and renewal.
11:00: Controlling what you can.
14:00: Coping with self-criticism and shame.
18:30: How to approach the future.
20:45: Building key habits.
24:00: Changing our identity in order to change our behavior.
26:30: Forrest's changing identity - moving into empathy.
29:30: Using key phrases.
31:00: Rick's changing identity - feeling like a good person.
34:00: Realistic optimism.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is it possible to "do no harm," and should we even try? Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what it means to do no harm, and the inner resources that allow us to do as little as possible.
New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Key Topics:
1:10: Reckoning and repenting in this moment.
4:45: What does it mean to truly do no harm?
6:45: How does doing no harm help us “be well?”
11:30: Reasons to take a collective perspective.
16:15: Grappling with the reality of causing harm.
19:00: The importance of repair.
22:30: Extending repair to yourself.
29:30: Are there necessary harms?
33:00: Resources that allow us to do less harm.
40:30: What happens when we stop being a danger to others?
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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What can we do to combat, unlearn, and ultimately unburden ourselves from the influence of systemic structures of racism - both out in the world and inside of ourselves?
About Our Guest: Erin is the CEO, principal coach, and founder of Community Equity Partners, and the senior advisor at the Equity Lab. Erin works with educational, non-profit, government, and tech organizations that are committed to creating equitable and inclusive practices.
Key Topics:
1:10: Finding hope and awakening in the moment.
6:30: "Unburdening" ourselves.
9:15: Overt vs. covert structures and systems of racism.
16:15: Key moments that lead to waking to systemic racism.
23:30: A message to your younger self.
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From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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What is intergenerational trauma, how does it influence our lives today, and what can we do to heal and persevere when things get tough?
The events of the past few weeks have cast the importance of healing the wounds of the past into stark relief. Today we’re exploring how the traumatic past, including that handed down through the generations, can influence our lives today.
About Our Guest: Dr. Sherri Taylor is an assistant professor of somatic psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies, and also teaches in the clinical psychology doctoral program at The Wright Institute.
Sponsor Message: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
4:10: What is intergenerational trauma?
7:30: Adaptive strategies for coping with trauma.
12:30: The primacy of the body.
15:15: Reclaiming comfort in your body.
20:45: Sensorymotor psychotherapy
22:30: Being with grief.
26:15: How to keep going when this process gets hard.
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Racism and racist structures place an enormous mental health burden on the people they persecute. Dr. Alfiee joins me to discuss the mental health consequences of institutional racism, unique challenges faced by marginalized youth, disparities in access to mental health services, and the importance of "naming and claiming."
About Our Guest: Dr. Alfiee Breland-Noble is a licensed psychologist who spent 20 years in academic medicine. She's the lead author of The Handbook of Mental Health in African American Youth, the host of the podcast "Couched in Color with Dr. Alfiee," and the founder of the mental health nonprofit the AAKOMA Project.
To join me in donating to the AAKOMA Project, follow this link.
Key Topics:
3:30: The impact of institutional racism on mental health.
7:00: Forms of exposure to racism.
9:45: Allostatic load, weathering, and secondary traumatic stress.
15:30: Ways to manage traumatic stress.
19:45: Confusing stress and anxiety.
22:30: The importance of accurate labeling.
25:00: AAKOMA and availability of mental health resources.
29:00: Access, and the stigmatization of mental health.
33:30: Removing the stigma.
37:20: A message to your younger self.
Sponsors: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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It's our turn to be uncomfortable.
https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co
Racism is a public health crisis.
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What can death teach us about living well? A pioneer in the field of end-of-life care joins us to explore the fear of death, anger, true courage, and acceptance in the face of it all.
About our Guest: Frank is an internationally respected Buddhist teacher and advocate for compassionate care-giving. In 1987, he co-founded the Zen Hospice Project, which helped establish a longstanding model for mindful and compassionate care. In 2005, he founded the Metta Institute.
Frank is also the author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully, which is one of my favorite books.
From Dr. Hanson:
The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:00: Frank’s recovery from multiple strokes.
5:30: Fear and choice.
10:00: What death can teach us about ourselves.
12:20: Supporting caregivers and spreading kindness.
16:40: The fear of death.
23:30: Coming to terms with the deaths of those we love.
27:00: Allowing.
32:00: Meeting our defenses.
36:30: Removing judgement from anger.
43:00: Bringing wisdom to anger.
44:45: Courage in the world.
47:15: Coming together and falling apart.
54:45: Accepting each other as is.
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What does it mean to "transcend the self?" Today Dr. Hanson, Forrest, and Dr. David Yaden explore self-transcendent, or “peak,” experiences, which the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow defined as “moments of highest happiness and fulfillment.”
As a note, David is referred to as a "PhD student" during the episode. Since it was recorded, he's gone on to earn his doctorate!
About our Guest: David is a Postdoctoral Research Fellow at Johns Hopkins Medicine who studies the varieties of spiritual and self-transcendent experiences from the perspectives of psychology and cognitive neuroscience.
Read David's paper on The Varieties of Self-Transcendent Experience here.
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Key Topics:
3:00: The two key characteristics of self-transcendent experiences.
4:30: “Everyday” versions of peak experiences.
8:00: Self-transcendence and psychopathology.
11:00: David’s account of self-transcendence.
13:50: The lasting impact of peak experiences.
17:00: Is there a “place” where self-transcendence occurs in the brain?
20:45: Making use of peak experiences.
28:00: Should we seek peak experiences out?
36:00: Relaxing the sense of self.
41:30: A message to your younger self.
43:30: Recap
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From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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Dr. Laurie Santos joins the podcast to share what the science says about how we can maintain our well-being during this difficult time.
About our Guest: Laurie is a Professor of Psychology and Head of Silliman College at Yale University. Her course “Psychology and the Good Life” is the most popular class in the university’s history. It’s now available for free online as “The Science of Well-Being." She’s also the director of the Comparative Cognition Laboratory at Yale, which explores the evolutionary origins of the human mind
Laurie hosts the critically acclaimed podcast The Happiness Lab. We couldn't recommend it more highly, if you like our podcast you should definitely give it a listen.
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Key Topics:
2:00: Key resources for happiness during pandemic.
6:00: Understanding and combating logical errors.
10:00: How to stay strong during a crisis.
14:30: Developing an internal orientation toward positivity.
17:15: Key misconceptions about happiness.
20:30: Intrinsic and extrinsic rewards.
22:45: Self-compassion.
24:30: What can we learn from monkeys?
31:00: Why didn’t “errors of reasoning” evolve out of us?
34:15: Liking vs. Craving.
37:00: The critical role of lasting learning.
48:00: A message to your younger self.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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Can we work with, and release, obsessive fear during this particularly anxiety-provoking time? Dr. Dan Kalb, an expert on anxiety disorders and OCD, joins the show to help us learn how.
About our Guest: Anxiety and worry are a part of life. But when they disrupt the normal flow of life, work and school are harder, family and social relationships suffer, and life is not as enjoyable. Dr. Kalb has been a practicing psychologist for over 25 years, and focuses much of his practice on working with people who suffer from this form of extreme anxiety, hoarding, or OCD.
New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Key Topics:
1:45: What is an anxiety disorder?
6:00: Mindfulness and being in the present moment.
11:30: Releasing obsessions, and not becoming ensnared by negative thoughts.
16:45: Acceptance, and useful vs. harmful self-reassurance.
24:30: Fears of death, and how to manage them.
29:30: Key techniques for releasing fear.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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What can we learn about ourselves from and through art? Sleeping At Last, an incredible musician, joins us to explore the Enneagram, the creative process, art and emotion, and how we can become ever more true to ourselves.
About Our Guest: Sleeping at Last, also known as Ryan O’Neal, is a well-known singer, songwriter, and composer who's written music for shows like Grey's Anatomy. Over the last seven years Ryan has worked on his Atlas series, an ongoing project that includes an incredible series of songs based on the Enneagram of Personality, which is my favorite personality typing system.
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Key Topics:
3:00: Sleeping at Last’s background and artistic origin story.
6:30: Music as a kind of journal.
8:30: How masks allow for vulnerability.
11:10: Writing in theme, and finding safe spaces for emotion through art.
17:00: Sleeping at Last’s creative process.
20:00: The Enneagram.
25:00: Forrest and Type 6
30:30: Ryan and Type 9.
33:50: 6 by Sleeping at Last
38:15: Learning about people through art.
43:00: Pressure.
44:45: Increasing creative output.
53:00: A message to Ryan's younger self.
Listen to the fantastic Sleeping at Last Podcast! On it, Ryan explains the process and inspiration behind his music, and I couldn’t recommend it more strongly.
Learn more about The Nine Types
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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What is the "highest happiness," and what can we do to achieve it?
This is the second conversation with Dr. Hanson related to his new book Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness. Today we're focusing on the final four practices in the book: wholeness, nowness, allness, and timelessness.
Neurodharma is now available! Click here if you'd like to learn more.
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Key Topics:
2:00: Why aim for “the heights of human potential” when the here and now already seems so challenging?
7:30: Wholeness, Nowness, Allness, and Timelessness.
11:00: What is an aspect of awakening?
14:20: The front edge of now.
17:00: The value of timelessness for a “normal person.”
23:00: The elements of consciousness.
26:45: The inherent emptiness of things.
32:50: Avoiding the pitfalls of emptiness.
34:30: The apparent self.
38:00: Our relationship to changing the self.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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Throughout history people have sought the heights of human potential - to become as wise, strong, happy, and loving as any person can ever be. Call these peak experiences, sense of oneness, or enlightenment itself. And now, science is revealing how these remarkable ways of being seem to be based on equally remarkable changes in our own nervous system.
What do those individuals have in common, how did they reach that summit, and what can we learn from them? That's the subject of Rick's new book: Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness.
Neurodharma comes out May 5th, and is now available for pre-order. Click here if you'd like to learn more.
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Key Topics:
2:15: What is the upper bound of human potential, and why should we care?
5:30: Different ways of knowing ourselves
10:00: How can modern science contribute to personal growth?
15:00: How is the brain of an “enlightened” person different from our own?
20:00: The janas, and how they change the brain.
24:00: The seven practices of the highest happiness.
28:00: Experiencing the body as a whole.
35:00: Balancing me and we.
40:00: Egocentric and allocentric.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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I want to express the profound gratitude I feel toward everyone who is serving others during this time of the Coronavirus pandemic. In particular, healthcare providers, first responders, and the whole ecosystem of helpers who have come together to support us all.
I've received a number of truly humbling requests to offer a guided practice aimed at supporting the inner strengths those providers need so desperately these days. This meditation focuses on cultivating a feeling of both acceptance and calm strength. I hope you find it helpful.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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New Book: If you're interested in Dr. Hanson's work, you'll love his new book Neurodharma. It explores the new science and ancient wisdom for being as wise and strong, happy and loving, as any person can ever be. It comes out May 5th, follow the link to pre-order.
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How can we continue to support others when our own well has run dry? Today we're exploring practices for managing and overcoming both direct traumatic stress and compassion fatigue, or "secondary traumatic stress."
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Key Topics:
3:00: The anxiety, outrage, and overwhelm of this moment.
7:00: Finding refuge.
12:00: Refuge and purpose in the collective experience.
15:00: Surrendering to the moment as it is.
17:00: Opening to the experience and letting it go.
22:00: Giving yourself permission to feel.
26:00: "Want to" and "have to."
28:00: A message of gratitude.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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Over the last month many people have been stuck at home - occasionally with people they'd rather not be around. Maintaining a healthy relationship can be a struggle under the best of times, let alone during times of stress. On this episode we explore how individuals and families can deal with the interpersonal stress that comes from being stuck together, and the sadness and loss that comes from being separated from things we love.
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Key Topics:
3:00: The costs of sustained stress
4:40: Unique pressures placed on relationships during this time.
8:00: Specific tools for maintaining a healthy relationship
15:00: How we’ve been supported by our circumstances until now.
17:15: Redefining ourselves during this time.
24:00: Seeing your own good purposes.
26:00: Experiencing common humanity.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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It's often easier to be a good friend to others than to ourselves. Today we're exploring how to balance constructive and harmful self-criticism, move away from our "act," embrace change, manage feelings of worthlessness, and ultimately be a good friend to ourselves.
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Key Topics:
3:15: A few ways to be kind to yourself.
8:15: Finding your key resources.
12:50: Useful vs. harmful self-criticism.
15:00: Putting your past in perspective.
20:15: Moving away from the “act.”
23:00: Finding optimal distance.
28:00: Ways to tune into your own goodness.
34:00: What to do when you don’t feel like a good person.
43:00: Narcissism vs. authentic feelings of goodness.
46:00: Relating to the self as something that can change.
50:00: Ego ideal
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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How can we use mindfulness practically during our everyday lives, and how can "presence" be a particularly valuable tool for women?
About Our Guest: Caroline Welch is the CEO and co-founder of the Mindsight Institute. Mindsight, a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, is our human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. It’s essentially a kind of focused attention that help us observe the working of our own mind, and helps get us off of the autopilot of ingrained behaviors and habitual responses.
Caroline's new book, The Gift of Presence: A Mindfulness Guide for Women, offers a scientifically inspired approach to a simple question: Is there a way for women to live with more calm amid the chaos?
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
4:00: Aspects of mindfulness that may be particularly important for women.
10:00: Pivoting, and why mindfulness can be a valuable aid to making good choices.
15:30: Do men and women experience presence differently?
18:30: The importance of representation.
21:45: Stories from the book that particularly stuck with Caroline.
24:15: Multitasking and being “in the moment.”
27:00: Pace, and the right to slow down.
29:00: Regrets of the dying.
32:00: A message to your younger self.
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We haven’t generally done episodes related to current events, but these events are challenging to ignore. The coronavirus pandemic has already placed a heavy toll on society – over a hundred thousand people have already been sick, thousands are dead, businesses, schools, and recreational events have closed, and there's been substantial economic turmoil.
Today we’re exploring how to cope with the natural fears that arise during challenging times, the difference between useful and harmful anxiety, and how we can grow the inner strengths we need to thrive when things get tough.
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Key Topics:
4:50: Rick’s approach to this moment.
6:00: Claiming your agency.
10:40: Useful anxiety vs. harmful anxiety.
13:45: What makes something uniquely scary.
18:15: Finding, sometimes not particularly useful, ways to express agency.
22:30: How to start determining which form of anxiety you’re experiencing.
25:00: Three ways to work with excessive negative rumination.
28:30: Tools for managing needless anxiety.
33:00: Recognizing privilege while working through survivor’s guilt.
36:30: Anger and the sadness underneath it.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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Dr. Peter Levine, a legendary expert on the subject of healing trauma, joins Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest to discuss the power trauma holds over the body, how we can truly connect with others, and simple practices for calming fear and unwinding from trauma.
Dr. Levine has worked in the field of stress and trauma for over 40 years and is the creator of Somatic Experiencing. He is also the author of the best-selling, classic book on trauma Waking the Tiger. He’s authored and co-authored several other fantastic books including Healing Trauma, In an Unspoken Voice, and Trauma and Memory.
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From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Timestamps:
03:06: The power of trauma on the body.
13:36: The role of the practitioner during therapy.
19:32: Learning empathetic attunement.
25:39: What can people who carry trauma, but aren’t seeing anyone for it, do on their own to release it?
34:45: "Big-T" vs. "little-t" trauma
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Dr. Bruce Perry joins Dr. Hanson and Forrest to discuss the incredible impact of childhood experiences, the fuzzy distinction between trauma and stress, and what we can do to heal from those experiences.
As with all of our episodes dealing with trauma and traumatic experiences, please approach this material with care for yourself in mind. There are specific descriptions during the episode of neglect and abuse, including that perpetrated upon children.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon, and we've made this week's expanded show notes available for free!
About Our Guest:
Dr. Perry is one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma, and his clinical research and practice focuses on examining the long-term effects of trauma in children, adolescents, and adults.
He is the Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, and a Professor at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago and the School of Allied Health at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia. Dr. Perry is also the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered.
Key Topics:
02:20: Why do early experiences have such a long-term impact?
06:10: What makes something traumatic rather than being merely stressful?
11:00: Summary of the material so far.
15:50: The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics.
24:50: Respecting someone's developmental phase.
29:00: Practical examples of treatment for childhood traumas.
36:50: Self-help approaches to healing old trauma.
42:00: A message to your younger self.
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How can we better resource ourselves to face the challenging, even traumatic, experiences that lie in our past?
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Key Topics:
03:45: The necessity of eventually contacting trauma material in order to heal.
06:50: Challenges, resources, and vulnerabilities.
11:20: Key resources for facing challenging experiences.
16:15: Courage and self-worth.
22:00: General resources for disengaging from activation.
28:00: Contacting challenging material safely.
36:20: The nature of all experiences.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
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We all want to build good habits, but doing so is often easier said than done. Charles Duhigg joins the podcast to help us learn how to do just that.
About Our Guest: Charles is the author of The Power of Habit, a classic bestseller about the science of habit formation in our lives, companies and societies, and Smarter Faster Better, which focuses on the science of productivity. He was a reporter at the New York Times for a decade, where he was part of a team that won a Pulitzer prize for explanatory reporting in 2013.
If you'd like to hear more from Charles, you can listen to his wonderful podcast How To! with Charles Duhigg.
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Key Topics:
01:19: What got you into the study of habits?
03:30: How can we change our habits?
11:56: Is there a difference between how we change internal habits vs. external ones?
18:40: You've been around a lot of very happy, successful people. You've also been around a lot of very successful people who aren't happy. What are the key differences between the two groups?
25:13: A message to your younger self.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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In our important relationships at home and at work, we need to respect the needs of others while also sticking up for our own. Dr. Daniel Ellenberg joins us today to explore how we can grow the lasting inner resources that allow us to do just that, and ultimately become both “friendly” and “fearless.”
About Our Guest: Daniel has been a practicing marriage and family therapist for over 30 years, and is the co-founder of Relationships That Work, and the founder and director of Strength With Heart men’s groups.
New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Key Topics:
2:25: What does it mean to be friendly and fearless.
5:05: “Fear less.”
6:20: Conflating social and physical fear.
9:25: Bringing more awareness into interpersonal conflict.
11:45: Increasing the space between stimulus and response.
13:35: Inter- vs. Intra-personal skills.
15:00: Finding the pause.
19:50: Finding sensitivity, kindness, and warmth in a conflict.
22:15: Loving at will.
24:00: Men, anger, and vulnerability.
28:30: Truly showing interest in others.
31:20: Giving the gift of not fearing others.
33:00: Changing our self-concept.
40:50: A message to our younger self.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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There are some emotions that are so deeply tied to the human experience that it’s impossible to avoid them. One of these is grief, which we have yet to discuss in detail on the podcast. On this episode we’re changing that, and have the pleasure of welcoming Dr. Joanne Cacciatore to the podcast to explore how we can bear the unbearable, and heal the trauma associated with grief.
As with all of our episodes associated with traumatic experiences, please be kind to yourself. Be aware that the material explored here includes descriptions of traumatic events - including bereavement.
Dr. Cacciatore is an Associate professor at Arizona State University and founder of the MISS foundation, a volunteer based organization providing counseling, advocacy, research, and education services to families experiencing the death of a child.
Dr. Cacciatore is also the author of Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief. Her research has been published in a number of peer reviewed journals, and she’s been featured in the New York Times, Boston Globe, CNN, NPR, and the Los Angeles Times.
If you’d like to support the MISS Foundation, you can make donations to their Selah Carefarm here. Dr. Cacciatore and the MISS Foundation offer a variety of wonderful resources, including:
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Timestamps:
03:30: Joanne's journey.
11:39: How can we accept and make space for our positive moments even during times of intense suffering?
16:10: Developing resources to cope with challenging emotions.
17:48: Ways to bear the unbearable.
24:42: Trauma and grief.
34:59: Working with anger.
41:02: If you could speak to a younger version of yourself, what would you say?
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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On this short episode, Dr. Shauna Shapiro shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
Shauna's newest book Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity, and Joy is now available.
If you'd like to continue to receive these Just One Thing episodes, you can now support the podcast on Patreon! Follow the link to learn more and sign up.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
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Dr. Shauna Shapiro, clinical psychologist, author and internationally recognized expert in mindfulness and self-compassion, joins Rick to discuss how we can grow and include compassion alongside mindfulness.
About Our Guest: Dr. Shapiro is a professor at Santa Clara University and has published over 150 papers and three critically acclaimed books, translated into 16 languages. Her TEDx Talk, The Power of Mindfulness, has been viewed over a million times.
Her newest book Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity, and Joy is now available.
Follow these links to find Shauna's Website l Instagram l Facebook
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
07:34: Shauna's personal story.
12:26: Strengths and traits that support mindfulness.
14:21: The attitudes we should build.
21:32: “Good morning, I love you.”.
23:31: A practice of mindfulness.
28:19: Working through self-criticism.
32:56: What can people do practically if they're feeling helpless about the state of the world?
36:59: Applying mindfulness in the day-to-day.
41:06: How do you keep growing every day?
43:16: A message to your younger self
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode Dr. Kelly McGonigal shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
From Dr. Hanson:
The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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We all know that exercise is good for us, but that doesn't always make it easy to do. Dr. Kelly McGonigal joins Dr. Hanson and Forrest to share some of the surprising benefits of activity, and how to find ease and joy in movement.
About Our Guest: Dr. McGonigal is a health psychologist, lecturer at Stanford University, and award-winning science writer. She is the author of several wonderful books, including the international bestseller The Willpower Instinct, The Upside of Stress, and her newest book The Joy of Movement: How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage.
Today we explore:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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Timestamps:
01:13: Movement as a cure for loneliness.
12:48: How can movement help us express agency?
18:40: Moving past blocks around exercise.
23:31: Why is it that people tend to struggle with sticking with exercise, and what can we do about it?
28:56: How can we work toward success?
33:50: How can people work with their internal inhibitions related to movement?
38:26: Bringing conscious movement to the rest of our day.
43:33: A message to your younger self.
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode Jack Kornfield shares the most important thing he does, each day, for his own well-being.
Connect with the show:
From Dr. Hanson:
The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Jack Kornfield, one of the key teachers who introduced Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, joins Rick and Forrest to discuss practice, mindful awareness, and how to view reality altogether.
Jack is the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts, and the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California. His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies. His most recent book is No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are.
If you'd like to learn more about Jack's mindfulness teacher training with Tara Brach, follow this link.
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Key Topics:
01:25: What was it like to go to Southeast Asia in the 1970’s and be a monk?
12:20: When you emptied out everything, was love still there?
22:10: Integrating your teachings into the day-to-day.
27:47: When you find yourself stuck in a certain headspace, what do you do to get yourself out of that?
34:08: What draws your heart?
43:16: Bearing the state of the world.
49:44: If you could back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would that be?
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price!
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode Dr. Tina Bryson shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Dr. Tina Payne Bryson joins Dr. Hanson and Forrest to share how we can become better friends, parents, and people.
About our Guest: Dr. Bryson is the bestselling author of The Whole Brain Child, No-Drama Discipline, and The Yes Brain. She’s also the co-author of a new book The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired with Dr. Daniel Siegel.
Tina's website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Key Topics:
03:45: Why focus on “showing up?”
08:27: Why is it so important to be “predictable?”
13:01: The 4 S’s.
21:02: How do you respond to parents who hear your information and realize they handled their kids poorly?
29:19: Describing what it means to be “Soothed” and “Secure”
35:27: For those who were in imperfect environments growing up, how can they become more securely attached as adults?
40:12: How can we approach people who aren’t equally good to us?
49:12: What would you tell a younger version of yourself?
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On the final episode of 2019, Forrest and Dr. Hanson discuss their favorite episodes from the last year, what they've learned, and their resolutions for 2020.
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
5:30: Who Am I?
15:00: Differentiating parts from the whole.
19:20: Guest experts and interviews.
27:00: What truly changes the brain.
29:20: Resolutions for the new year.
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Emotionally abusive relationships are sadly very common. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore a subset of those relationships with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who shares her own journey to recovery from a toxic relationship with a malignant narcissist.
Dr. Freeman is a clinical neuropsychologist. She works with patients diagnosed with neurological conditions, and focuses much of her work on helping people who were involved in toxic or abusive relationships. She is also the founder of Neuroinstincts, and writes for Psychology Today and the Huffington Post, among others.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
02:13: Differences between sociopathy, narcissism, and psychopathy.
04:48: How do sociopathy and narcissism interact?
08:01: Subtle signs of malignant narcissism.
11:12: What kept you in this type of relationship, despite the warning signals?
15:18: Releasing a trauma bond.
23:30: Helping yourself heal.
33:08: Differences between working with a mild and malignant narcissist.
42:14: A message to your younger self.
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Dr. Alex Korb shares the most important thing he does, each day, for his own well-being.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Dr. Alex Korb joins the podcast to explore the relationship between depression and the brain, including practical tools for intervening during a depressive episode.
Dr. Korb is the author of The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time. He’s studied the brain for over 15 years, and later earned his Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA. He’s also published over a dozen peer-reviewed journal articles on depression, neuromodulation and other topics.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
02:30: Do we really care about how others feel?
07:14: Coming to terms with not being able to do everything.
13:15: How does depression work in the brain?
21:20: What is an “upward spiral” or “downward spiral?"
29:54: Have you ever experienced depression?
31:07: Key traits for a happy life.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout.
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Liz Fosslien shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield. For most of us, about a third of our lives will be spent at work. Learning how to work with and manage our internal lives, including our emotions, in that setting is a huge part of becoming a happy, healthy, emotional intelligent human.
On this episode Forrest is joined by the Wall Street Journal best-selling co-author and illustrator of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, Liz Fosslien. Liz is also the Head of Content and Editorial at Humu, a company that uses behavioral science to make work better.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
01:52: Why focus on emotions in the workplace?
06:12: Why you should be less passionate about work.
12:10: Shifting workplace culture.
15:48: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.
22:32: Useful and not-useful emotions.
25:54: The importance of “psychological safety.”
31:45: Managing unusual power dynamics.
38:31: What is “forced positivity,” and is it problematic?
42:20: A message to her younger self.
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Marc Lesser, Forrest, and Dr. Rick Hanson share the most important things they do, each day, for their own well-being.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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There’s a natural tendency to view different elements of our lives as being unique and distinct from one another: what we do at home, or what we do as part of our personal growth journey, is somehow fundamentally different from what we do at work. So what can we do, both as individuals and a collective, to bring those same mindful traits into the workplace?
That's the question we explore today with Marc Lesser, founding CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
01:01: From Zen to NYU.
03:27: Stories from the Zen kitchen.
08:51: Compressing “big” lessons into understood words.
11:32: Does “no-gaining mind” work in a capitalist context?
18:08: What moves you from your home base?
20:23: What is the benefit of having more mindful leaders?
23:35: Critiques of mindfulness.
27:30: The most common questions, and most powerful tools.
32:04: If you could go back in time and tell yourself something, what would you say?
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their conversation on therapy with a discussion ranging from how to pay for it to getting the most out of what happens in the room.
As a practicing clinician for over 30 years, Rick's had a lot of people wander through his office. Some of them grew more from the experience than others, and there were some common traits - both on their side and on mine - that tended to lead to the process being particularly beneficial...or particularly not. Today we’re exploring that, alongside a host of other topics.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
02:20: How do you find a therapist?
05:09: What is an “agency”?
06:21: Determining if a therapist is a good fit.
11:06: Affording therapy.
23:00: Managing the experiences of shame associated with seeking help.
29:52: What can someone do to get the most out of therapy?
38:01: Common pitfalls.
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This is the first of two episodes dedicated to a topic near and dear to Dr. Hanson's heart: therapy. Today we're exploring how to start therapy, including different therapy modalities and how to approach seeking out a therapist to work with.
Of course, therapy can be profoundly helpful for acute issues – for instance, the tendencies a person might have related to our series on pathology. But what gets lost sometimes in our general social conversation around therapy is how useful it can be as a general tool for personal exploration and inquiry.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
04:08: What does therapy look like in real life?
09:34: Different kinds of licenses and what they do.
13:50: Reasons people might go to therapy.
24:38: The traits of good therapists.
35:51: What are the different kinds of therapy?
43:50: Recap
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On this short episode, Lori Gottlieb shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well being.
Lori Gottlieb is a New York Times bestselling author, nationally recognized journalist, and weekly “Dear Therapist” columnist for The Atlantic. Her new book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed has rapidly become one of my favorites.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Lori Gottlieb joins the show to explore the therapeutic process, the gifts and challenges of being a therapist in therapy, and why you should consider talking to someone.
Lori Gottlieb is a New York Times bestselling author, nationally recognized journalist, and weekly “Dear Therapist” columnist for The Atlantic. Her new book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed has rapidly become one of my favorites.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a deeply personal, yet universal, tour of what it means to be human. It examines the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
01:25: The challenges of seeing our own difficulties.
03:04: Going back to being a "client."
05:56: Accessing our deeper, younger layers.
10:35: How we can exit a repetitive cycle.
12:42: Shame and self-punishment.
14:22: Relating to your present, past, and future.
17:23: Taking charge of your own learning and growth process.
18:20: How has being in therapy affected your own therapy practice?
20:07: Loneliness, isolation, and gender differences in therapy.
30:40: Overcoming shame around therapy.
33:04: When someone’s in therapy, what can they do to get the most out of it?
34:22: If you could back in time and say something to a younger version of yourself, what would it be?
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Gabrielle Bernstein shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well being.
Gabby is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of seven books including her newest: Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams. She’s been named a “new thought leader” by Oprah on her show SuperSoul Sunday, and been featured on a wide variety of media outlets, including ELLE and The Today Show.
Super Attractor is a journey of remembering where your true power lies. If you'd like to learn more about Super Attractor, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Gabrielle Bernstein joins the show to discuss the fear that stops us from being who we truly are, anxiety and moral outrage, and how to become a Super Attractor.
Gabby is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of seven books including The Universe Has Your Back, Spirit Junky, and her newest book Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams. She’s been named a “new thought leader” by Oprah on her show SuperSoul Sunday, and been featured on a wide variety of media outlets, including ELLE and The Today Show.
Super Attractor is a journey of remembering where your true power lies. If you'd like to learn more about Super Attractor, follow this link.
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
01:03: Relating to the pressure to perform.
05:52: Key blocks to becoming a Super Attractor.
07:38: The role of fear, and our addiction to it.
09:24: Are we afraid of feeling good?
14:28: What can someone do if they want to move into the mindset of wanting to be more happy, despite the current struggles they’ve encountered?
17:36: What does the line look like between “wise effort” and “manic manifester”?
20:32: Could you share a time recently where you dropped out of alignment, and how you got back into it?
32:40: Moral anger, appropriate outrage, and building a safe container.
42:53: Moving into a stance of appreciation even when things are hard.
44:32: If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself anything, what would it be?
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In the second part of our conversation with Dr. James Gordon, we focus on caregiver fatigue, helplessness, and unwinding from trauma at the collective level.
Dr. Gordon is founder and executive director of the nonprofit Center for Mind-Body Medicine. For more than 25 years. His latest book, The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma, guides us step by step in a comprehensive evidence-based program to reverse the psychological and biological damage that trauma causes - bringing together the latest scientific research, 50 years of clinical experience, timeless wisdom, and inspiring stories.
If you'd like to support the Center for Mind-Body Medicine, please follow this link to donate.
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Timestamps:
02:00: Staying free inside your own mind.
07:17: Managing care-giver fatigue.
11:09: How do you deal with anger?
17:52: If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself something, what would that be?
21:06: What’s the most important thing you do, each day, for your own well being?
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Most people will experience some form of trauma during their lives. Today we explore what we can do to recover from those experiences with a world-class expert on the subject: Dr. James Gordon.
Dr. Gordon is a Harvard-educated psychiatrist, and internationally recognized expert on using self-awareness, self-care, and group support to heal population-wide psychological trauma. He is founder and executive director of the nonprofit Center for Mind-Body Medicine.
His latest book, The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma, guides us step by step in a comprehensive evidence-based program to reverse the psychological and biological damage that trauma causes - bringing together the latest scientific research, 50 years of clinical experience, timeless wisdom, and inspiring stories.
If you'd like to support the Center for Mind-Body Medicine, please follow this link to donate.
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Timestamps:
03:04: The Transformation
09:21: The physiological impacts of trauma.
14:53: Recovering from traumatic events.
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In part two of Dr. Hanson and Forrest's conversation on Loneliness, they move on to the practical question of what we can do in our lives to overcome experiences of loneliness, and deepen our connection with other people.
This is covered by Rick’s “three point plan” for loneliness, which includes:
Sponsor Offer: For over 35 years, Dr. Rick Hanson has taught thousands of people how to feel less stressed, have more fulfilling relationships, and find a deep sense of self-worth. He's now sharing the lessons of a lifetime in one step-by-step, down-to-earth online program: The Foundations of Well-Being.
If you’d like to learn more about the Foundations Program, follow this link. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
00:53: The "three point plan."
02:54: Taking action.
08:03: Cultivating compassion.
17:02: Internalizing social supplies.
23:58: What are the roots of loneliness?
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Vidyamala Burch shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest speak with Vidyamala Burch, co-founder of Breathworks, which offers mindfulness-based approaches to living well with chronic pain, illness or stress. The organization grew out of her own experience with chronic pain as a partial paraplegic, and adapts principles from Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy.
Click here if you'd like to give to the Breathworks Foundation, the charitable wing of Breathworks.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
00:58: Vidyamala's story.
04:55: The story behind Breathworks' approach.
12:08: Basic techniques and practices Breathworks teaches.
15:51: Why doesn't mindfulness make pain worse? Why would I want to be mindful of my pain?
19:20: The power of fully coming into an experience of self.
26:58: General advice for managing chronic pain.
32:45: How to keep going through the bad days.
38:20: Recap
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On this short episode, Forrest shares his personal journey with loneliness as a young person - and the importance of developing a coherent developmental narrative.
We've spent many episodes on this podcast discussing the importance of childhood experiences. We may understand this in a general sense, but things can get a lot trickier when it comes time to put our own story together. Part of the process of becoming a mentally healthy person is creating a coherent narrative about how we became the way we are.
This allows us to put our current traits in their proper perspective, while also putting us back in touch with our deep nature. Sometimes it's possible to see a disconnect between the person we are now and the things that brought us joy as a young person. Reclaiming that deep nature can be a major source of increased well-being as an adult.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can be surrounded by other people, and still feel alone. They cover the genetic and developmental roots of loneliness, and how loneliness can creep into even our most connected, important relationships.
During our ongoing series on “Who Am I,” we’ve explored psychological conditions of various kinds – many of which are stigmatized and pathologized. You can find them in the DSM - the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is the primary diagnostic tool published by the American Psychiatric Association.
It’s worth noting that there are a lot of very unpleasant parts of life that no reasonable person would categorize as “disorders.” For instance, there’s no DSM entry for sadness or loneliness. Or frustration, rage, general lack of fulfillment, and so on. There’s a real risk sometimes of over-medicalizing perfectly normal parts of the human experience. Today we're focusing on one of those parts: feelings of loneliness.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Dr. Jennie Rosier shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Attachment theory is one of the most influential frameworks in psychology for understanding how people behave in their relationships with others. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Jennie Rosier explore what attachment theory is, how we can identify our attachment style, and what we can do to build a healthier relationship with our own style and that of others.
Dr. Jennie Rosier is an Associate Professor of Communication Studies at James Madison University, the director of The Relationships, Love, & Happiness Project, and the author of two books: Make Love, Not Scrapbooks, and Finding the Love Guru in You. She focuses much of her teaching and research on the communication skills needed to maintain healthy romantic and parent-child relationships.
Dr. Rosier's Adult Attachment Series
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
01:05: A summary of attachment theory.
04:15: The attachment styles.
08:26: What do these styles look like practically in relationship?
17:08: How can people self-diagnose what their attachment style is?
20:13: Can you attach yourself to different care-givers differently?
26:22: Are any of these attachment styles more compatible with any of the other styles?
31:46: What can someone do to work with their attachment style, or help their partner work with theirs?
38:49: What do good communicators "look like" in these different attachment styles, as opposed to poor communicators?
43:58: A message to her younger self.
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We all have something we KNOW we should do...but that doesn't mean we actually do it. On this episode Dr. Hanson, Forrest, and Dr. Judy Ho explore the roots of self-sabotage, the four key elements that fuel self-sabotaging behavior, and how we can use tools from cognitive therapy to overcome those behaviors.
Dr. Judy Ho is a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, and is Associate Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology. She’s appeared as an expert contributor on over 100 shows, including Dr. Drew, CNN Tonight, and Outside the Lines, and co-hosts the CBS daytime talk show Face The Truth.
Her new book is Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Own Way, It's one of the best explorations of the practical application of CBT we've read - and it has our full recommendation.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
00:52: Why did you choose this particular topic?
01:57: What are the evolutionary roots to self-sabotage?
04:44: Primary ways people self-sabotage.
09:59: Working with self-concept.
13:13: The power of the "dreaded experience."
15:40: Managing social fears.
25:00: The roots of the six triggers.
28:19: How to update your self-concept.
33:00: How can we get better at learning.
37:00: What’s the most important thing you do inside your own mind each day for your own well-being?
40:13: When your virtues are not valued.
45:41: If you could go back in time and tell yourself something, what would it be?
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Today we're continuing our focus on bipolar disorder by exploring some tools and strategies that people can use to help manage their symptoms, or help loved ones do the same.
As with all of the episodes in this series, please remember that bipolar disorder is best diagnosed by a licensed professional.
Here's the Daylio app that was mentioned during this episode.
Key Topics:
00:43: Is bipolar disorder considered curable?
05:16: How can someone begin managing their bipolar symptoms?
06:49: Is it possible to manage a manic episode?
09:18: The power of establishing routines.
10:50: Recognizing our vulnerabilities.
15:05: Managing stress and exercising self-control.
18:00: Shame, and recognizing our worth.
21:00: Self-harm.
28:00: Recap
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Marie Forleo shares the most important things she does, each day, for her own well-being.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
If you’d like to purchase Marie's new book, Everything is Figureoutable, just follow this link.
Find more from Marie at MarieTV and the Marie Forleo Podcast.
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Today we had the pleasure of speaking with Marie Forleo, named by Oprah as a thought leader for the next generation. She’s the star of MarieTV and host of The Marie Forleo Podcast, and has spent time with a who’s who of thought-leaders and personal development experts, including Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, and Brene Brown.
On this episode Forrest, Dr. Rick Hanson, and Marie explore how we can build a "figureoutable" mindset that allows us to meet our challenges from a place of determination, ingenuity, and openheartedness.
If you’d like to purchase Marie's new book, Everything is Figureoutable, just follow this link.
Find more from Marie at MarieTV and the Marie Forleo Podcast.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
00:55: Where the idea behind Everything is Figureoutable came from.
07:27: What do you mean by, “figureoutable?”
12:36: For those who don’t have it so easy in life right now, what would you suggest practically for them so they can move into that “figureoutable” mindset?
15:36: Practices for managing fear.
23:13: What Marie would say to a younger version of herself.
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their ongoing series on “Who Am I” by focusing on a subset of the depressed mood states which we covered in our last episode in this series: bipolar disorder, formerly known as “manic depressive.”
Depression and depressed mood are major problems for many people, and the material we’re going to get into today will be sensitive in nature. If things start to feel uncomfortable, feel free to skip around or turn it off altogether. As with all of the episodes in this series, please remember that bipolar disorder is best diagnosed by a trained mental health professional.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
01:30: What distinguishes bipolar disorder from clinical depression?
05:07: Is there a reason why the name “Manic Depressive” was changed to “Bipolar Disorder”?
06:59: What are some of the diagnostic criteria for a manic episode?
14:46: The different kinds of bipolar disorder.
23:36: What bipolar disorder looks like day-to-day.
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Dr. Ramani shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Today we have the pleasure of speaking with a true expert on many of the topics we’ve exploring during our series on “Who Am I?”, including borderline personality disorder, sociopathy, and narcissism: Dr. Ramani Durvasula.
Dr. Ramani is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and expert on the impact of toxic narcissism. She is a Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.
She is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist, and her new book, DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility will be coming out October 1st.
Today we explored a range of topics with Dr. Ramani including:
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
02:01: Where did your interest in narcissism come from?
04:27: The difference between someone who truly has NPD and someone who is just a jerk.
07:05: What is it like to be on the receiving end of someone who’s a narcissist?
09:04: Advice for those in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies.
15:56: The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can respond to each type.
26:41: What can we do to avoid acquiring narcissistic traits, and how can we help our friends manage these traits more effectively?
30:43: Human evolution, social pressure, and narcissism.
41:07: If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would you say?
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their exploration of depression and depressed mood with an episode focused on some of the tactics and strategies people can use, both in their own mind and out in the world, to help manage, and even overcome, a depressed mood.
Depression and depressed mood are major problems for many people, and the material we’re going to get into today will be sensitive in nature. If this is sensitive territory for you, please be kind to yourself. Feel free to skip around or turn off the episode altogether.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Ideas:
02:50: The causes of depressed mood, and some places where we can intervene to create positive changes.
05:59: Why it’s so challenging for someone with depressed mood to make psychological changes.
16:22: Using mindfulness to work with a current episode, or prevent relapse.
21:52: Other psychological interventions.
26:30: Overcoming the lack of motivation that accompanies depressed mood.
27:43: How do you get out of the depression slump?
37:37: What can we do to help other people with their depressed mood?
42:40: Recap
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Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Additional Resources:
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Today we’re continuing our ongoing series on “Who Am I” by focusing on a huge topic: depressed mood, including clinical depression. Today's episode is the first of two parts, and explores what depression is, where it comes from, and how it differs from sadness.
Depression and depressed mood are major problems for many people, and the material we’re going to get into today will be sensitive in nature. If this is sensitive territory for you, please be kind to yourself. Feel free to skip around or turn off the episode altogether.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
03:12: What is the difference between "feeling down" and clinical depression?
07:03: How can someone tell if they’re depressed?
20:29: What is the difference between depression and sadness?
27:30: Where does depression come from?
38:10: Recap
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Roshi Joan Halifax shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being.
Purchase Roshi Joan's most recent book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet here.
We’d also like to let people know about the Upaya Institute’s general fund, which allows Upaya to provide a wide array of workshops, trainings, and retreats for thousands of people each year. If you would like to give to the fund, please follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Though there is no more human experience than death, it’s one of the most challenging topics to explore. Today we have the pleasure and privilege of learning from a true pioneer in the field of end-of-life care: Roshi Joan Halifax.
As you may know, “roshi” is a title for the honored teacher of a Zen Buddhist community. Roshi Joan is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, and doctor of medical anthropology. She is Founder, Abbot, and Head Teacher of Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
She’s also the author of several classic books, including most recently publisehd Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet.
We’d also like to let people know about the Upaya Institute’s general fund, which allows Upaya to provide a wide array of workshops, trainings, and retreats for thousands of people each year. If you would like to give to the fund, please follow this link.
Timestamps:
2:09: Roshi Joan's childhood experience, and how it shaped her.
4:42: How has your work with the dying informed the way that you’ve lived your life?
8:17: In your experience of sitting with people who are going through the dying process, what have you found they particularly valued or regretted?
10:14: Handling existential dread.
11:48: We only have one "big" death, but we may have many "small" deaths throughout life. What lessons can we take from the "big" death and apply to those?
18:18: Can we know our own true nature?
20:56: Do you have any counsel for those who are grieving?
26:43: A teaching from indigenous cultures.
28:17: If you could go back in time and speak to yourself as a child or young adult, what would you say?
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore questions from listeners related to managing our relationship with ourselves, and particularly our tendency toward self-criticism.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
Timestamps:
01:05: What is the most productive way to deal with a life-changing diagnosis?
11:16: What can I do to break through my fears of participating in social activities?
20:17: How can I better assert and protect myself during everyday interactions with others?
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Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, professor Gaylon Ferguson shares the most important thing he does, each day, for his own happiness.
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Today we explore the rich topics of fear and fearlessness with professor Gaylon Ferguson.
Professor Ferguson is a member of the faculty at Naropa University in Bolder, Colorado. He is a graduate of Exeter and Yale, and holds a doctorate in cultural anthropology from Stanford. He’s also a senior teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage, and has been a teacher in residence at the San Francisco Zen Center and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California.
He is also the author of two books: Natural Bravery: Fear and Fearlessness as a Direct Path of Awakening, and Natural Wakefulness: Discovering the Wisdom We Were Born With.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
00:58: When did you begin to explore fear and fearlessness?
03:25: Why do you think that courage is our basic nature?
05:57: How can someone experience innate courage?
10:30: The "fear of ourselves."
12:55: What are some of the best practices that people can use to address a feeling of emptiness?
17:04: Becoming more comfortable with groundlessness.
22:59: Handling acute, in the moment experiences of fear.
29:03: Outside of self-awareness, are there certain tactics you have found that help move people into a stance of welcoming?
32:07: If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you say?
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On today's mailbag episode we answer two questions related to our series on "Who Am I," with a general focus on helping people learn how to better manage their relationships with challenging family members.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
Timestamps:
00:59: How can we help manage our reactions to, and even support, family members that we find challenging to be around?
20:04: What are some key differences between Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder?
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We are so busy these days that it’s great to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Adam Markel shares the most important thing he does, each day, for his own happiness.
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It's easy to "go with the flow" during our often busy lives. When things are going well this is great, but when our lives are less satisfying inertia can be a powerful enemy. To get out of a rut, we need to learn how to "pivot" in order to make the big changes that can point us in the right direction.
If you feel that it might be time for a change, this is the episode for you.
Our gust today is Adam Markel. Adam is the author of Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life. He’s given a popular TED talk, has been interviewed by the Wall Street Journal, Fox News, and Forbes, and is the host of the Conscious Pivot podcast.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
01:04:Two pivots from Adam's life.
06:20: What were some of the things that contributed to your pivot?
08:03: What helps people when a pivot is shocking or surprising?
14:07: What are the enduring and stable attributes of people that enable them to be resilient, or pivot well?
18:07: How do we know when a pivot is good for us?
22:09: How can people who are less resourced internally call upon allies in their life?
28:44: If you could back in time and tell a younger version of yourself anything, what would you say?
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We all have good days and bad days. Our mood naturally trends up and down in response to the events of our constantly changing worlds.
But some people change more frequently, and are hit harder by change than others. On today’s episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their series on “Who Am I” by exploring at a particularly intense, and surprisingly common, version of this: Borderline Personality Disorder.
Today's episode is a bit longer and more technical than normal. I hope you stick with it, but feel free to skip around!
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Key Topics:
03:01: What is borderline personality disorder (BPD)?
18:09: How do people with BPD respond to everyday issues?
22:52: What are the traits of somebody who has “10% BPD”?
32:10: How can people with tendencies toward BPD learn to manage it more effectively?
40:40: If we are in a relationship with someone who has some level of BPD, what can we do to support them or otherwise make our relationship with them as healthy as possible?
Overcome Anxiety: Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL.
Sponsors:
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We are so busy these days that it’s great to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Dr. Lyubomirsky shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own happiness.
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To summarize and simplify a little bit, one of the major focuses of this podcast is the “how” of happiness – what we can actually do in our lives, practically speaking, to increase our natural foundation of happiness and well-being.
There’s endless advice out there about how to become happier, but most of it is anecdotal in nature. That’s why we're so happy to be being joined today by one of the leading researchers on the scientific study of human happiness: Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
Timestamps:
01:06: The “pie chart” of happiness.
04:52: What push-back have you received on your work?
06:49: What has a big role in the 40% of our happiness we control?
12:34: What can we do to handle “back-fre” effects?
14:26: Building the trait of happiness.
21:35: A message to your younger self.
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Today we’re going to continue our series on “Who Am I” by looking at one of the most well-known personality disorders: sociopathy. We’ll explore what it is, where it comes from, and what we can do to interact more skillfully with people who possess it.
We also spend a little time investigating how we can work with our own tendencies in that direction if we happen to possess them.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
Timestamps:
01:05: Dr. Hanson's new online program: *Neurodharma*.
05:34: What are the attributes of anti-social personality disorder?
10:26: What does a person, showing a little bit of sociopathy, look like day-to-day?
18:12: Where does sociopathy comes from?
30:16: What can we do when in a relationship with a sociopathic person?
36:37: What can we do to make our relationships with "5% sociopaths" more positive?
44:30: Recap.
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We made it to episode 101! On today's special episode, Forrest talks with Dr. Rick Hanson about his personal journey.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
Timestamps:
01:30: What inspired you to become a psychologist?
05:34: What was it like to live through the hight of the human potential movement?
13:13: The influence of contemplative practice.
17:12: Becoming an author, and the process of writing Buddha's Brain.
24:02: What parts of your work are particularly exciting to you these days?
32:09: What have you found in your experience, on a day-to-day level, really makes the greatest difference?
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We are so busy these days that it’s great to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Dr. Daniel Goleman and Michele Nevarez share the most important thing they do, each day, for their own happiness.
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Today we’re exploring one of the most important topics when it comes to our personal happiness, achievement, and general social functioning: Emotional Intelligence. And we have the absolute pleasure of speaking with one of the most influential people in that very important field.
Today we’re joined by two special guests: Dr. Daniel Goleman and Michele Nevarez.
You can put Dr. Goleman's expertise into practice with one of his flexible online courses.
Want to become more emotionally intelligent? Learn more about getting coached here!
Are you interested in becoming certified as an emotional intelligence coach? Follow the link here to learn more about Dr. Goleman's certification program!
Timestamps:
01:07: What is the definition of “emotional intelligence,” and how is it different from IQ?
05:55: What are the key things that people can do to develop EQ in general?
10:31: A practice a day for greater EQ.
12:15: Why do you think it so effectivefor personal development to practice warm-heartedness?
14:19: How can we help these virtuous practices have more of an impact over the next 25 years?
18:11: What’s something that parents or adults can do to help their children, or young people in general, learn emotional intelligence skills?
23:23: If you could speak to everyone in the world and tell them one thing, what would you say?
28:35: If you had the opportunity to go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you say?
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We all have tendencies in our relationships, and particularly our important ones. Some of these are good, while others can be destructive. And sometimes we might find ourselves in cycles where the trajectory of all our important relationships tends to look the same.
Today we’re continuing our series on “Who Am I” by taking a look at where those tendencies come from, and how we can work inside ourselves to relate to them and others more effectively.
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
Timestamps:
01:48: Do we have repetitive patterns in our relationships?
10:12: Social learning and object relations.
21:16: What can we do to be more aware of those damaging patterns?
24:18: Once we’ve recognized those damaging patterns, how do we change?
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In the second part of their conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff, Forrest and Dr. Hanson speak with her about how we can be compassionate under challenging circumstances. Particularly, how can we bring strength to compassion without tipping into anger?
Learn more about Dr. Neff's Mindful Self-Compassion program here.
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
Timestamps:
01:52: Can we have too much mindfulness? And what do we need in addition to mindfulness to support self-compassion?
06:30: Is there a gender bias in the material on self-compassion? How do people of different genders respond to it differently?
12:22: How can a person be both forceful and compassionate?
16:31: So if you had the opportunity to go back and talk to yourself as a child or young adult, what is something that you would want to say to that person?
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We all have a negative voice that lives inside our heads, and it’s very challenging to perform at our best when we’re not kind and supportive of ourselves.
Dr. Hanson and I began our book Resilient with a chapter dedicated to compassion, and particularly self-compassion. It’s the fundamental building block on which our personal growth rests.
On this episode, Dr. Hanson and I are joined by one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion, Dr. Kristin Neff. Dr. Neff is the Associate Professor of Human Development and Culture in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Texas at Austin, and she was the first to operationally define and measure the construct over a decade ago. In addition to her pioneering research into self-compassion, she’s developed a program to teach self-compassion skills in daily life, co-created with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer.
In the first part of our conversation, we explore the nature of self-compassion, including why it's such an essential skill for personal growth.
Learn more about Dr. Neff's Mindful Self-Compassion program here.
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
Timestamps:
01:18: What lead you from communications to self-compassion?
03:37:How do you define self-compassion differently from how we do casually?
10:08: Why is self-compassion so important?
12:19: How can people grow their self-compassion?
15:23: How do you give yourself self compassion naturally in the course of a day?
17:06: A practice of self-compassion.
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Forrest and Dr. Hanson answer two questions from listeners related to our important relationships. In the first part, they explore how can we raise resilient children. In the second, they focus on challenging workplace relationships.
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
Timestamps:
00:40: What can we do to raise resilient children?
18:38: How can we deal with aggressive colleges in the workplace?
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Intuition and personal insight can be powerful tools for determining our individual paths toward well being. But sometimes it's nice to refer to some good, old fashioned empirical evidence, and check in with what the research has to say about a given question!
On this episode Dr. Hanson and Forrest are joined by Jason Marsh, the founding editor-in-chief of Greater Good Magazine, published by the Greater Good Science Center. Together they explore key, research-based insights into living a meaningful life.
If you would like to receive the GGSC's newsletter, you can sign-up for it here!
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
Timestamps:
03:37: What do you mean by "Greater Good"?
05:42: The top 5 take-aways from the research on well-being and resilience.
12:53: Where do self-help trends come from?
15:39: Is there a body of research that you see emerging right now that you think could be the next big thing?
17:50: What areas of study should get more investigation?
21:24: How have you applied the research to your own life?
23:28: Do you think there are ways in which some of the research on particular topics has been misused by people?
28:46: What do you think about the research into well-being being used by companies as a way to increase profitability?
33:21: If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would that be?
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their series on “Who Am I” by exploring narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Specifically, how can we take in the healthy narcissistic supplies we need to become confident, effective individuals without falling prey to unhealthy narcissistic tendencies?
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
Timestamps:
01:22: How would you, as a clinician, describe the spectrum of narcissism?
04:03: What’s narcissism at the 1%, 5% or even 10% mark?
07:36: How is narcissism distinct from just being confident?
12:47: Where does narcissism come from?
27:48: How can we take in healthy narcissistic supplies without becoming narcissists?
31:32: Should people with 10% narcissism still take in narcissistic supplies?
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest answer questions from listeners that explore how we can release our attachment to different experiences, and learn to let go.
If you'd like to submit a question, use the form on this page!
Timestamps:
1:25: Dealing with a hoarding addiction.
15:23: The difference between chemical and natural states of mind.
24:11: Should we bring pharmaceuticals into our mindfulness practice?
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Author and mindfulness teacher Oren Jay Sofer shares the one thing he does each day for his own well-being.
Get more Just One Things from Dr. Rick Hanson here.
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So much of our happiness and well-being comes back to how effectively we’re able to communicate with others – particularly in our important relationships. But how often are we our best selves? Are we able to hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without either becoming defensive or being excessively punishing and prosecutorial?
To help us learn how to do just that, Forrest and Dr. Hanson are joined today by Oren Jay Sofer, the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.
Learn more about Say What You Mean here
Timestamps:
1:38: What is Nonviolent Communication?
5:12: The true nature of Nonviolent Communication.
9:25: How this style of communication changes us.
15:08: Why should we communicate this way when other people don't?
20:26: How can we make demands of other people nonviolently?
32:13: If others don't communicate with us in good faith, should we still be nonviolent?
37:32: Lessons for your younger self.
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During today's special mailbag episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest answer questions from listeners related to things that can hijack our attention, specifically hysterical and violent forms of media.
If you'd like to submit a question, use the form on this page!
Royal Society Open Science Study
Consortium of Scholars Open Letter
Timestamps:
2:00: "I feel like our culture bombards us with hysteria. What can we do to stop it from influencing us?"
12:50: "Do violent video games, or other forms of media, cause children to become violent?"
24:45: "How much exposure to intense media would you allow your child?"
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In part two of their conversation with Dr. Christine Carter, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore the "Sweet Spot," that place of effortless effectiveness where we can be both productive and relaxed. Our relationships with other people are one of the major influences that can pull us out of that sweet spot, so they are once again a major focus during this episode.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
0:25: What is the "sweet spot?"
3:30: What pulls us out of the sweet spot?
6:10: How can our important relationships pull us out of the sweet spot?
8:00: How can we know when we've stuck around in a relationship too long, or, on the other hand, when we're leaving too quickly?
10:00: What are things we can influence others on? And what things are unchangeable in our relationship?
14:35: How we can stand up for ourselves.
16:40: How fulfilling our duties fits into the sweet spot.
19:30: How we can find the sweet spot.
21:30: What would you say to your younger self?
23:15: Recap
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Christine Carter shares the most important thing she does each day for her own well-being: finding the time to meditate and accept herself as she is.
Sign up for Dr. Rick Hanson's free Just One Thing Newsletter here.
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Parenting and forming strong intimate relationships can be challenging under the best of circumstances, and life is rarely perfect. In this episode Dr. Hanson and Forrest speak with Dr. Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness and The Sweet Spot, about how we can form strong intimate relationships with our children, parents, and partners.
This is the first part of two with Dr. Carter, the second episode in this series will be coming later this week.
We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
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There's a lot of advice out there, so sometimes it's nice to have one simple thing to focus on. As we continue to speak with an incredible group of experts, we're going to ask them for their Just One Thing: the most important thing they do inside their own mind, each day, for their own well-being. We're beginning the series with Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof.
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Dave Asprey is the founder and CEO of Bulletproof, a bestselling author, and an award winning podcaster. Today Forrest and Dr. Hanson talk with Dave about the power of biohacking, what truly motivates people to perform at the highest level, and the relationship between peak performance and well-being.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
1:25: Why did you want to perform these experiments on yourself?
2:35: How can you spend so much money on optimizing your health?
5:30: The “scientific religion” and the progression of technology.
8:00: A “bio-hack” anyone can use.
10:20: How do we play at the cutting edge of health while avoiding snake oil?
15:30: Dave’s three most important pieces of advice.
19:55: Should we pursue performance or well-being?
23:00: Do you equate happiness to well-being?
25:00: The three big motivators.
27:40: Surprises from Game Changers.
31:00: Unlearning shame.
32:50: The relationship between body and mind.
36:15: Social hacking.
38:30: What would you say to a younger version of yourself?
41:30: Recap
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how compassion can serve as an antidote to shame with Dr. Chris Germer, a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Chris is the co-founder of the Mindful Self-Compassion Program, and is a founding faculty member of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Key Topics:
2:50: Non-duality
4:10: Dr. Germer’s first experience with self-compassion.
7:30: Can you be too mindful?
10:50: Defining self-compassion.
13:20: Mindfulness as a response to suffering.
17:00: Masculinity and self-compassion.
20:20: Becoming more receptive to your suffering.
24:30: How to apply self-compassion.
28:00: State to trait.
30:20: Self-compassion and shame.
34:30: How can compassion for shame reduce aggression?
37:10: What would you tell a younger version of yourself?
40:20: Recap
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout.
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their series on "Who Am I" by exploring one of the fundamental human experiences: shame.
Timestamps:
1:30: Defining shame.
4:10: Is there natural variation in how strongly people feel shame?
9:00: Sociopathy
10:00: Shame injuries and shaming experiences during childhood.
13:30: Developing susceptibility to shame.
18:20: Abuse and shame.
24:30: The complex layering of our emotions.
27:00: Working with and reducing shame.
34:00: Recap
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Forrest and Dr. Hanson speak with many-time bestselling author, award-winning podcaster, and explorer of happiness, good habits, and human nature Gretchen Rubin. Together they talk about the importance of developing good habits, understanding your individual tendencies, and why one size rarely fits all.
Purchase Gretchen's new book here: https://amzn.to/2C0uGex
Timestamps:
2:10: Gretchen's start in self-help.
4:20: Key takeaways from The Happiness Project.
7:30: Radical transitions.
10:50: How to keep your resolutions.
12:25: The Four Tendencies
19:50: Can you change your temperament?
23:50: Why we have different tendencies.
26:05: Better Than Before
32:00: Can order be taken too far?
35:10: How can habits bring freedom?
40:35: Outer Order, Inner Calm
47:00: Recap
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Forrest and Dr. Hanson continue their series on "Who Am I" with an exploration of tendencies related to obsessive compulsive disorder. This includes how we can manage our own tendencies in that direction, and support others in managing theirs.
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price!
Timestamps:
3:09: Where does OCD come from?
5:45: What does obsession mean clinically?
10:05: How does OCD differ from other kinds of intrusive thoughts?
12:40: What is a compulsion, and why do obsessions lead to compulsions?
14:15: What does compulsion respond to?
18:25: Why are compulsions so challenging to manage?
22:15: How can we break the connection between obsessions and compulsions?
26:15: How can people learn to manage their obsessions better?
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Forrest and Matt D’Avella, director of the Netflix documentary Minimalism, explore why minimalism changed Matt's life, how we can become more fulfilled by redefining success, and the importance of taking the first step toward distant goals.
Matt's Podcast: The Ground Up Show
Timestamps:
1:00: The power of establishing routines.
5:45: Finding minimalism.
9:45: Redefining success.
11:40: Lifestyle creep and greed.
14:30: Recognizing our needs.
15:50: Finding buffer time.
20:00: Unplugging from social media.
24:20: Why has minimalism become more popular?
27:00: Objections to minimalism.
30:00: Taking the first step, and being a professional.
37:20: “The Fargo Incident.”
43:00: Coping with feelings of failure.
46:30: Starting from zero.
50:00: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their series on “Who Am I” by exploring the “how” of managing anxiety. This includes calming and settling ourselves during anxious states, reducing our “trait” of anxiety, and working with others to help them manage their own fears.
Timestamps:
2:30: What can we do to cope with anxiety?
5:40: Why don’t we act when we’re anxious?
10:15: The complex emotional stew of anxiety.
15:40: How to investigate the roots of our anxiety.
19:45: Suggestions for reducing trait anxiety.
25:50: How can we support others in managing their anxiety?
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Dr. Angela Duckworth joins Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest to explore how we can become more passionate and perseverant when times are tough.
About Our Guest: Dr. Angela Duckworth, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, founder of the non-profit Character Lab, and author of the bestseller Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Dr. Duckworth has also given an incredibly popular TED talk on the subject of Grit that’s been watched over 20 million times.
Timestamps:
1:45: What is grit?
2:10: Where did your interest in grit come from?
4:00: How did you find a sense of purpose?
6:45: Is passion or purpose more important?
9:45: Are there other factors that support grit?
11:30: Does grit feel good?
13:15: How much of what makes us gritty is changeable?
16:00: Can grit be found in communities?
18:45: Developing grit.
22:45: How can we find passions?
25:15: Helping children develop passions.
30:30: How has your research been misunderstood or misused?
32:00: How passion and perseverance support one another.
33:40: How has your work changed your life personally?
35:45: Comparison is the thief of joy.
38:45: Three suggestions for teaching children.
If you'd like to sign up for Angela's Thought of the Week, you can do that right here: https://www.characterlab.org/signup
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their series on the central question “Who Am I” by exploring subjects related to the development of fear, wariness, and worry in our often anxious brains.
Timestamps:
2:00: Threat, aversion, inhibition, wariness, and anxiety.
6:50: The relationship between wariness and anxiety.
8:20: Anxious states vs. anxiety as a trait.
11:30: Is anxiety genetic?
12:20: Why is there variation in levels of anxiety?
17:40: Can we develop an anxious temperament over time?
21:30: Anxious in some situations but not in others.
24:40: Moving without fear.
27:30: Being afraid of not feeling afraid.
29:20: What is anxiety the shadow of?
35:30: Recap
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Forrest and Lori Deschene, founder of TinyBuddha.com, explore how we can learn to manage paralyzing experiences of anxiety and worry. This includes focusing on what you can control, limiting responsibility to a comfortable level, and developing comfort with uncertainty.
Learn more about the Worry Journal and purchase your copy here.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Timestamps:
2:30: What was the inspiration behind Tiny Buddha?
5:30: Has engaging with self-help made you personally happier?
7:45: Worrying about being enough.
12:10: Focusing on what you can control
14:00: Recognizing your own strength.
15:25: Using creative activities.
18:20: Returning to childlike joy.
21:45: Limiting responsibility to a comfortable level.
26:00: Acknowledging your everyday accomplishments.
27:30: Developing comfort with uncertainty.
32:00: Being honest with yourself.
34:00: Recap
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new series of episodes dedicated to a simple question: Who am I? To explore this big question, they start by going into what creates our individual variation in personality and temperament, how we’re impacted by our genes and environment, the ups and downs of personality typing, and just how in control of our own nature we really are.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Timestamps:
2:20: Where does personality come from?
5:25: Nature and nurture.
14:30: What can we really control?
19:45: Why we group people.
24:00 Personality typing.
31:00: Expanding the circle of your comfort
35:00: Stereotype threat.
38:30: The village in the mind.
40:00: Recap
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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It’s easy for our New Year's aspirations and goals to come wrapped in a package of self-criticism. To help fight that, Dr. Rick Hanson is joined by Dr. Tara Brach for this special episode. Rick and Tara explore the importance of self-caring how we can grow this critical resource inside ourselves, and why it’s not selfish to be on your own side.
If you'd like to learn more about The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link.
Timestamps:
3:00: The “sweet spot” of personal growth.
6:45: Why should we open to painful experiences?
10:15: A personal story of self-caring.
14:00: The “near enemies” of self-caring.
16:40: How can we feel the difference between authentic self-caring and imposter emotions?
19:00: Self-caring and wholeness of the self.
21:35: Self-caring without narcissism.
25:55: Facing our needs.
29:30: A practice of self-compassion.
38:35: Seeing through the eyes of another.
Sign-up for Dr. Hanson's new monthly meditation program here. Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price: https://bit.ly/2NEnVU3
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Today's episode focuses on getting the most out of your New Year's Resolutions!
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Timestamps:
0:45: Do you make resolutions?
2:30: A process for new resolutions.
4:00: Focused goal setting.
6:10: Good crowds out great.
7:10: Be aware of how setting resolutions makes you feel.
8:30: Pitfalls around resolutions.
12:05: Process vs. outcome.
13:20: Setting goals for love, work, and play.
15:20: The power of little numbers.
19:15: Sticking with resolutions.
21:30: Focusing on what you can control.
23:30: Means and ends.
27:15: Affective forecasting.
29:45: Big picture ends and actionable means.
33:15: Focusing on the present moment.
36:00: Removing negative influences.
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest conclude their yearlong journey through the 12 strengths with a final episode dedicated to opening our hearts to all beings.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.
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The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:30: What does “widening the circle of us” mean?
5:00: The evolution of prejudice.
6:30: What are the benefits to us of widening the circle?
12:30: How can we tell if we’re being discriminatory?
18:30: What can we do to expand the circle of us?
27:10: Key takeaways from the last year.
37:15: Recap
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In the second of our two episodes dedicated to Forgiveness, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore the tender territory of forgiving yourself.
If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:45: Why do some people struggle to forgive themselves?
2:30: Why it’s good to forgive yourself.
4:00: Taking maximum reasonable responsibility.
7:15: Feeling appropriate remorse.
11:05: Making amends.
15:20: Seeing the larger causes.
17:15: The balance between taking full responsibility and seeing larger causes.
20:40: Asking for forgiveness.
22:05: Offering forgiveness to yourself.
24:40: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore one of the most important, and challenging, ways we can give to other people: Forgiveness.
If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:50: What are the two kinds of forgiveness?
2:20: The challenges of forgiveness.
7:10: The real goal of disentangled forgiveness.
8:10: What needs to happen before we disentangle?
11:10: Creating a coherent internal narrative.
14:45: Using forgiveness as a balm to our wounds.
15:30: Suggestions for disentangling.
21:40: How can we know when it’s appropriate to extend a full pardon?
26:45: Remembrance and responsibility.
28:15: A story of full-pardon forgiveness.
31:50: Taking a wide view.
34:15: Recap
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Each of us gives in many small ways every day. Each of these gifts is valuable, and each is an opportunity to feel good. But it's often hard to experience them that way! Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin the final strength of Generosity by exploring how we can do just that.
If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:00: What is “everyday giving?”
3:20: The evolution of generosity.
9:25: What generosity gives to us.
12:00: Feeling like a person of value.
15:30: Blocks to giving.
20:00: Compassion and equanimity.
23:30: How to build equanimity.
28:45: Recap
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How would your behavior change if you framed your actions as offerings to others? Dr. Hanson and Forrest bring the strength of Aspiration to a close by exploring how we can give what's truly in our heart.
If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:25: What does it mean to make your offering?
4:05: How does making your offering support aspiration generally?
5:45: Two blocks to aspiration.
8:45: How making your offering simplifies relationships.
10:10: Finding fertile ground.
13:45: Being wise around persistence.
16:30: How can we find more fertile ground?
23:10: Whole effort, whole heart.
27:15: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can "aspire without attachment;" dreaming big dreams and pursuing them with commitment, while also being at peace with whatever happens.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:40: What does “aspiring without attachment” mean?
2:45: Why is it a good thing to aspire without attachment?
7:55: Process vs. outcome goals.
10:35: Re-framing what “winning” looks like.
15:00: Accepting the reality of negative outcomes.
16:45: “Failure” as part of a process.
18:45: The power of big goals.
20:30: Relaxing the sense of self.
28:15: Being carried by purpose
31:00: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn from and bring to life our childhood dreams - a key part of Aspiration.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:15: Why is aspiration a key strength?
3:30: Why are childhood dreams important?
6:15: Viewing the world without assumptions.
10:15: Aspiring toward ends rather than means.
14:15: Being conscious of the impact of other people.
20:20: How the “dreaded experience” stops us from aspiring.
24:00: Love, work, and play.
29:15: Including talents and values in your life.
34:20: Ikigai
37:45: Recap
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Today we’re beginning a new strength, Aspiration, with a conversation between Dr. Hanson and Dr. Dan Siegel. During this episode, Dr. Siegel will explain how you can use “mindsight" to tap into the dreams you had as a child, and honor those aspirations as an adult.
This interview is also a part of the Foundations of Well-Being online program. If you'd like to learn more about the Foundations of Well Being: https://thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:15: Interview begins
4:00: Why has it been important to you, personally, to develop inner strengths?
8:25: How has your life experience contributed to your view of Aspiration?
14:55: How can you use Mindsight to tune back in to your childhood dreams?
21:20: Reclaiming the dreams of your youth.
29:45: What are some of the internal blocks people bump into?
38:30: Supporting the thriving of others.
46:15: How can we support the aspirations of younger people?
56:30: What advice would you give your younger self?
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At even the best of times, our relationships require a natural process of correction – let’s call it repair – to clear up little misunderstandings and ease points of friction. Doing that skillfully is the focus of today's episode.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:15: What are the common things that require repair?
3:25: The problem of resisting repair.
9:00: Checking our attributions and understandings.
15:30: Negotiating relevant values.
17:40: Know that your needs matter.
20:50: Expressing your needs clearly.
22:15: Scaling your relationships.
23:40: Repair as an expression of caring.
25:45: Leading with the good.
27:00: Recap
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Relationships go smoothly when everyone wants the same thing. But how common is that? On this episode, Forrest and Dr. Hanson continue the strength of Courage by exploring how we can assert ourselves effectively.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:15: Why do people struggle to assert themselves effectively?
3:10: Setting the stage for asserting yourself.
8:45: Keeping your eyes on the prize.
11:50: Commenting on process.
16:10: Focusing on the future.
18:15: What would it look like if you got what you wanted?
24:00: Make requests, not demands.
25:50: Making requests with dignity.
28:50: Consolidating your gains.
30:45: Make clear agreements.
32:15: How can I help you do this?
37:10: Recap
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Think about the weight of what’s been unsaid in your relationships. What have the effects been on you and other people? Today we’ll explore how to express those undelivered communications, and "speak from the heart" with kindness and skill.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:25: What do you mean by speaking from the heart?
3:00: What do we gain by speaking from the heart?
5:10: Speaking the positive as well as the negative.
6:20: The different dangers in speaking from the heart.
8:00: Establishing safety.
11:45: Being clear about our own facts.
15:30: What are the results you’re aiming for?
16:30: Talking about process.
21:20: Knowing your line in the sand.
22:30: Start by joining.
26:00: Leading with “I feel.”
28:15: Wise speech.
35:20: Continuing to practice empathy.
37:15: Nonviolent communication.
40:15: Honoring other people’s fundamental questions.
43:00: Recap
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We have a natural desire for a reliable world - but life happens, and no person or organization is perfectly dependable. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn to manage that natural undependability.
If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price.
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The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
2:00: Our expectations of dependability.
5:00: The undependability of experience.
7:30: The inevitability of disappointment.
12:30: Centering amidst disappointment.
17:00: Seeing what IS dependable.
20:40: Recap.
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It’s easy to spend more time dwelling on the faults of others than reflecting on the room for improvement in oneself. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how "unilateral virtue" helps us focus on our side of the street, and keep our eyes on the prize.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:10: Where does unilateral virtue come from?
3:15: Being virtuous without becoming a doormat.
7:20: Fulfilling expectations and creating a framework of trust.
12:20: Doing things out of the kindness of our heart.
14:50: How can we establish our personal code?
18:00: Ways to set and keep personal commitments.
20:10: The difference between inner and other directed.
24:00: Other tactics for maintaining unilateral virtue.
25:30: Staying calm during an irritating interaction.
29:00: Staying humble about how righteous you are.
31:35: Feeling “at choice.”
34:15: Recap.
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One would think it would be obvious, but the importance of warming the heart, and developing greater compassion and kindness as personal traits, is often overlooked in our important relationships. Dr. Hanson draws on 35+ years of couples counseling experience to teach us how to do just that.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:45: The less obvious reasons to be compassionate and kind.
5:00: The difference between compassion and kindness.
9:00: Loving at will.
11:30: Ways we can increase our capacity for compassion and kindness.
14:00: Respecting the boundaries of others.
16:30: Compassion and kindness while maintaining clear boundaries.
18:10: The protection of warmheartedness.
19:35: The difference between doing a negative thing and receiving a negative response.
20:45: Being loving inside yourself.
21:35: Two equally valuable ways to be loving and kind.
22:40: Loving others helps heal our wounds around love.
24:15: Recap
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One of the most important interpersonal skills is empathy, which allows us to tune into and understand other people. Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their discussion on Intimacy by exploring how we can grow this key strength.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: Why do we need to be empathic in order to be intimate?
1:50: Where does empathy come from biologically?
5:15: Summary of the three ways we can show empathy.
5:50: Is empathy a trait that can be developed?
8:15: Sustaining your attention to other people.
10:35: Letting yourself be truly affected by another person.
12:30: Empathic joining vs. problem solving.
13:55: Having empathy for perspectives very different from your own.
18:45: Ways to have empathy in the moment.
20:00: Feeling felt.
21:20: Using empathy responsibly.
22:00: Empathic imagination.
24:15: How to avoid playing the psychologist.
26:00: Being aware of true intentions.
27:40: Managing tone and using empathy to communicate.
30:25: Finding me and we through empathy.
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new strength, Intimacy, with a discussion focused on how to balance two seemingly conflicting goals: maintaining our independence from other people while also forging emotionally intimate relationships with them.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:40: How does intimacy support autonomy?
3:50: What does appropriate autonomy look like?
5:30: How does autonomy support intimacy?
8:50: The importance of choice.
10:25: Is there a biological basis for preferences for intimacy or autonomy?
12:35: The ways we inhibit ourselves.
16:10: Where do our inhibitions come from?
19:15: How issues with autonomy can disguise themselves as problems with intimacy.
21:55: The oppression of the internalized audience.
24:45: Focusing on your own experience.
26:20: How to build healthy emotional boundaries.
29:00: Remembering when things went well.
30:30: Asserting your autonomy inside your own mind.
34:15: The importance of balance.
35:20: Recap
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On this unique episode, Forrest interviews Dr. Hanson about his personal story of motivation – including how to transform from someone who lacks a natural feeling of motivation to someone who can diligently pursue their goals.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
2:00: Learning how to naturally motivate yourself.
5:00: Valuing your unique gifts.
6:30: Adding up an extra two hours.
8:30: Sustaining motivation through a long day.
11:45: Reducing the friction in your life.
14:10: The importance of taking decisive action.
17:00: The difference between motivation and discipline.
19:20: The feeling of commitment toward your goals.
26:00: Recognizing how limited our time is.
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We all have things we know would be good to do, but it’s hard to do them. On this episode, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest focus on a key aspect of motivation: how we can incline our minds to break bad habits, and want the things that are good for it.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:40: Why doesn’t just knowing that something is bad stop us from doing it?
2:55: How does motivation work biologically?
7:00: The importance of connecting good behaviors to direct rewards.
8:50: Becoming good at imagining rewards.
12:40: Internalizing reward along the way.
14:20: Imbuing simple tasks with meaning.
17:30: Bringing playfulness to what you do.
19:30: Is there genetic variation in how easily motivated people are?
23:35: Having empathy for biological differences between people.
27:40: The relationship between nature and nurture.
33:35: The value of fulfilling expectations.
37:25: Identifying novelty.
39:40: Finding the fun factor.
41:00: Self-nurturance vs. self-criticism.
46:15: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue the strength of Motivation by exploring how we can use healthy passion without falling victim to unhealthy righteousness, anger, and stress.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:00: What’s the relationship between stress and passion?
3:50: Applying positive vs. negative emotion.
6:30: Why passion and “revving up” makes you vulnerable to stress.
11:30: Why can things BE great but FEEL wearing?
15:00: “Faking” passion, and the influence of culture.
17:20: Learning how to hit the gas, and then tap the brakes.
19:00: Four ways to stay in healthy passion.
27:50: Recap
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On this episode, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest begin the strength of Motivation with an episode that explores how we can pursue our goals with passion and purpose, without becoming painfully attached to them.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:20: Why are liking and wanting different?
4:45: What causes us to tip from liking into wanting?
8:25: If liking is good and wanting is bad, why is it so easy to tip into wanting?
12:30: Forrest’s experience with video games.
16:45: Addiction and moments of lucidity.
19:10: Identifying wanting through drivenness.
21:00: Things that pull us into wanting.
24:30: How can we stay in liking?
29:00: The danger of auto-wanting.
30:45: Delusional desire.
32:45: Recap
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Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest conclude the strength of Calm with an episode dedicated to exploring seven ways we can work with anger skillfully.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:35: Understanding the costs of anger
3:05: Never speaking or acting from anger
6:15: Reducing the priming for our anger
7:00: Reacting in proportion
10:00: Avoiding the habit of irritability
14:20: The tendency of fault-finding
16:30: The pitfalls of various kinds of talent
18:10: The story of the two monks
21:30: Know our near-enemies
24:30: The biology of slowing down
29:50: Walking away from excessive righteousness
33:00: Moral outrage in society
37:20: Recap
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Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest talk about managing one of our most difficult emotions: anger. Specifically, they focus on how we can distinguish between skillful and unskillful anger, particularly relating to issues of social justice.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:15: The physical costs of anger.
3:40: The interpersonal costs of anger.
5:15: How can we remove the costs of anger without turning into a doormat?
11:00: Finding the line between skillful and unskillful anger.
18:00: Using anger to find our deeper wants and needs.
19:45: What tends to lie under anger?
24:45: Tribal anger and social justice
29:50: The importance of saying “I’m sorry.”
31:50: Tribal leaders and the value of mobilizing anger.
33:55: Outraged vs. enraged
35:45: Recap
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Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest discuss how we can fight back against fear and learn to feel safer. They explore ways to reduce anxiety, identify resources, and deal with the real challenges of life.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: What causes fear?
2:30: Feeling reasonable safety.
7:15: Anxiety in the body.
9:00: Identifying the resources we have to fight threats.
12:30: How can we feel safer during REAL threats?
14:25: The importance of growing resting-state resources.
16:25: Three ways to deal with immediate threats.
20:00: Ways to approach the fear of truly dreadful things.
24:55: Reducing steady-state anxiety.
27:50: Dealing with anticipatory dread.
34:00: Recap
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Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest discuss how to manage and reduce a particular kind of fear: paper tiger paranoia. This fear is characterized by needless anxiety that comes from the brain’s creation of imaginary threats.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:00: What does “paper tiger paranoia” mean?
3:25: How do “tigers” appear in the modern day?
4:45: Why paper tigers crowd out real ones.
6:20: Hidden costs of paper tiger paranoia.
8:20: The insidiousness of fear.
11:00: Recognizing sources of needless anxiety.
17:45: Fighting back against fear.
20:30: Fear, agency, and acceptance.
23:30: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new series of episodes exploring the strength of Calm. Particularly, they focus on how we can learn to activate the calming wing of the nervous system to fight back against stress.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:30: Why is calm an important inner strength?
3:20: The dangers of being hijacked by fear.
7:05: The biological basis of calm.
11:05: Modern culture and the sympathetic nervous system.
12:30: Understanding your needs.
15:15: Developing a wide range of response.
17:20: The ease of being driven from the green zone.
19:20: Ways to calm down.
23:00: State calm vs. trait calm.
28:00: The importance of tranquility.
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It's often surprisingly hard to feel like a good person...even if we are one! Dr. Hanson and Forrest wrap up the strength of Confidence by exploring how we can authentically feel like a good person from the top-down and the bottom-up.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: What is “feeling like a good person?”
3:00: Why is it hard to feel like a good person?
6:00: Comparing part of our lives to all of another’s.
7:00: Why is it good to feel like a good person?
11:00: Ways to grow the feeling of being a good person.
17:00: Top-down vs. bottom-up
20:00: Recap
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There are two “characters” we all have inside our minds: an inner critic and an inner nurturer. Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on how we can manage our inner critic while building up a strong inner nurturer.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:40: What is an inner critic and an inner nurturer?
2:15: Do we have these voices in balance?
4:30: 3 things we can do to limit the influence of the inner critic.
7:55: Balancing too much and too little criticism.
10:00: What value can we take from the inner critic?
11:50: The experience of a child.
14:15: Building up your inner nurturer.
17:20: What the inner nurturer feels like.
19:00: How we feel inside vs. how we act towards others.
20:30: How to stop the inner critic before it gets going.
24:00: Recap
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On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson interviews Dr. Paul Gilbert, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Darby and the founder of compassion focused therapy. They explore how we can grow a healthy sense of self-worth, be honest without being critical, and stop undermining our own confidence.
The content of today's episode was taken from Dr. Hanson's online course, The Foundations of Well-Being.
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Our negative reactions to the painful experiences of life that are often more harmful than those experiences themselves. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can avoid these “second darts."
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:40: What are the first and second darts?
2:50: An example of first and second darts.
5:15: Finding where you have influence.
7:15: Avoiding adding second darts.
12:30: Not fueling second darts.
15:00: Changing the channel on second darts.
15:50: Managing second darts in relationships.
18:55: Sticking to first darts when communicating.
21:10: Recap
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Attachment Theory is one of the most important frameworks in psychology. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore why this theory is so relevant for everyday life, and how adults who may have had challenging childhood relationships can become more securely attached in the here and now.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:00: The spectrum of confidence.
2:10: How does confidence “get into” the brain?
4:30: Learning confidence.
5:45: Why do we care so much about the opinions of other people?
10:30: The link between social and physical pain.
12:45: Secure and insecure attachment.
20:00: Attaching differently to different kinds of people.
23:50: How to become more securely attached.
30:30: Why does creating a coherent narrative help us become more securely attached?
35:50: Being someone others can securely attach to.
40:40: Recap
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There is one form of happiness that is always available: happiness for others. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how feelings of altruistic joy can be a powerful antidote for experiences of disappointment and envy.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: Why is happiness for others such a reliable resource?
1:20: Why is feeling happy for others good for us?
3:15: Finding happiness for difficult people.
5:40: Mending relationships through happiness for others.
7:50: The naturalness of envy and jealousy.
12:15: Letting people land.
17:05: Working through blocks to altruistic joy.
22:15: Recap
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So many good things happen to us that we don't take the time to fully take in. Dr. Hanson and Forrest look at the role fully taking in the good things in life has in the process of building mental strengths.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:20: Why focus on taking pleasure.
1:45: The many little opportunities to take pleasure.
4:05: The psychological benefits of pleasure.
6:50: Why do so many people struggle with taking pleasure?
9:45: Consumption vs. appreciation
13:00: How can we get better at taking pleasure?
16:00: Finding pleasure through relating.
19:30: Recap
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We think of gratitude as a gift to others, but it's often a wonderful gift to ourselves. Dr. Hanson and Forrest move on to the fifth of the twelve strengths they’ll be covering during this series: Gratitude. During this episode they explore the role of positive emotions generally, and particularly the value of “thankfulness.”
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:00: Why use “gratitude” as a blanket term for positive emotions?
1:45: What benefits do positive emotions have for mental health?
5:55: Why did you choose to focus your work on increasing positive experiences rather than reducing negative ones?
8:15: What are the psychological benefits of “thankfulness?”
12:20: Critiques of telling people to ‘just be grateful for what they have.’
17:00: Dealing with blocks to thankfulness.
23:30: How can we become more thankful?
28:25: Using gratitude to move into agency.
31:00: Recap
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How can we set and stick to our goals without getting overly attached to them or punishing ourselves if we backslide? Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can feel more successful by noticing the many small goals we accomplish each day, and fully internalizing that experience so it becomes a lasting resource.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:50: Why is having a healthy relationship with our goals so important for mental health?
4:30: How can we achieve a more healthy relationship with our goals?
6:35: The social pressures that help us feel unsuccessful.
8:30: What are process goals?
9:55: What are outcome goals?
10:20: The many opportunities to meet our goals.
11:40: Hacking the natural pleasure systems in the brain.
14:25: If we have so many opportunities to experience success, why don’t we?
17:50: What about when we aren’t successful? How can we better manage those feelings of failure?
21:30: Risking the “dreaded experience.”
24:30: Isn’t the fear of failure really motivating though?
29:50: Recap
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Learn how to form a more positive relationship with your body by accepting, nurturing, and appreciating it. Dr. Hanson and Forrest discuss key elements of the strength of Vitality, and how it relates to Grit.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:50: How does the physical resource of “vitality” impact the mental strength of “grit”?
2:10: How accepting the body helps us nurture the body.
4:10: Why is it so hard for people to accept their bodies?
8:10: How can we become more accepting of our bodies?
11:45: A practice for accepting the body.
14:00: The importance of appreciating the body.
16:30: A practice for thanking the body.
18:30: How can we form good habits around our physical practices?
22:10: Taking action on any given day, focusing on your effort rather than results.
24:15: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest talk about a particularly challenging aspect of the strength of determination: fierceness. They explore how the ‘feral’ parts of our mind can be a powerful resource, and how we can use that inner strength rather than be used by it.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:40: What does “fierceness” mean?
3:20: How fierceness fuels determination.
5:20: Is how we think about fierceness defined by our individual experience?
6:20: Different ways to think about the ‘feral’ experience.
8:45: The difficulty in articulating this material.
9:15: Using all the material in the psyche as a potential resource.
12:00: Pitfalls relating to fierceness.
16:20: The burden of proof when being fierce.
18:00: The two pitfalls related to fierceness.
19:30: Increasing our comfort with fierceness.
24:50: Strengthening our own cores.
27:25: Taming the beast by allowing it to run.
28:55: Recap
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On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest continue their focus on the strength of Grit with determination. Particularly, they look at the different aspects of determination, and explore how we can grow each of them over time.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:35: How “determination” relates to grit.
2:00: Being determined to a fault.
2:50: What determination is made up of.
3:55: Being resolved toward a goal.
8:00: Balancing patience with agency.
9:30: Realistic expectations enabling patience.
11:45: How much patience is too much?
12:30: The marshmallow test.
15:00: Distress tolerance.
16:25: How can you help yourself enjoy persistence?
21:30: What do we mean by “fierceness?”
23:15: Issues with fierceness.
24:15: Recap.
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On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson begins a new focus on the fourth of the twelve strengths he’ll be covering throughout this series: Grit. Particularly, this episode explores how to grow agency – an aspect of grit where we feel like a cause rather than an effect.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: What is grit?
0:50: How does physical grit support psychological grit?
4:45: Can we grow grit?
5:45: Why agency is important for growing grit.
6:45: How agency fights against “learned helplessness.”
9:30: How can we “unlearn” learned helplessness?
16:10: What can we do when we ACTUALLY are helpless?
18:00: Being realistic about the amount of power we have over our lives.
19:30: Finding small ways to express agency.
21:00: Focusing on causes rather than effects.
24:55: Recap.
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Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest discuss "linking" - how we can use new, positive experiences to soften and eventually replace old, negative ones.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
1:20: What is linking?
2:20: An example of linking.
3:50: How does linking work in the brain?
5:50: How removing old, painful experiences works in the brain.
8:30: How we can remove old pains.
10:10: Quick recap
11:05: The two opportunities to remove negative material.
13:20: The two problematic ways people deal with upsets.
14:05: The better way to approach upsetting situations.
15:20: Matching the right positive experiences to the negative experience.
16:00: The pitfalls of linking.
17:55: Why negative material isn’t “bad.”
18:30: The third option found in linking.
19:45: The difference between wounds and deficits.
20:30: The three levels of engaging negative material.
23:30: Pulling the tip of the root.
24:00: How to talk to your young experiences.
27:10: The three conditions for linking.
29:25: Recap
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On today’s episode of the Being Well podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest talk about how we can find and use “key resource experiences” – experiences that we can match to our unique vulnerabilities in order to grow the strengths we need the most.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
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Timestamps:
0:45: What is a key resource experience?
1:45: What would be useful in dealing with your issues?
2:30: How to identify your key resources.
4:00: What were the times when you were at your best?
5:15: Identifying the vulnerabilities we match key resources to.
7:40: How do our vulnerabilities relate to our needs?
10:50: Matching key resources to specific needs.
11:15: Resources for anxiety, anger, and helplessness.
13:45: Feeling alright, right now.
15:35: Resources for satisfaction.
18:45: The importance of resourcefulness.
19:30: Resources for connection.
21:05: Means vs. Ends
27:25: Recap
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How can we help the brain "absorb" the things we want it to hold on to? Dr. Rick Hanson explores the “installation” stage of learning in detail, including how we can internalize the various positive aspects of any experience to grow the strengths we need the most.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:50: What attracted you to “learning”?
3:15: The “dirty secret” of the personal growth professions.
5:05: The five ways we can enrich our experience.
8:10: Multimodality: how to learn through the different aspects of experience.
9:00: Why writing affirmations rarely works.
9:55: Bridging the gap between thought and experience.
13:30: Our many opportunities for learning.
14:30: How to make our experiences feel novel.
16:40: How to make our experiences feel relevant.
18:20: How to absorb experiences.
19:50: Letting experiences into our body.
24:10: Changing our relationship to experiences
25:30: The power of “retroactive rehearsal.”
28:00: The foundation of learning.
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HOW can we grow the positive traits we want more of inside ourselves? On this episode Dr. Hanson explains the HEAL process that allows us to learn from our experiences more effectively.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:40: Why is learning an inner strength?
2:40: The superpower of superpowers
5:35: What does emotional learning FEEL like?
7:50: An example of learning that sticks
10:05: What’s happening in the brain when we’re learning?
13:05: Using the mind to change the brain.
14:55: The opportunity in every day.
16:55: The stages of the learning process.
19:05: The importance of installation.
20:10: The H.E.A.L. process of learning
23:05: The feeling of enriching and absorbing
23:45: Linking
25:30: Summary
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Learn how to respond to challenges from the “green zone” of the brain rather than reacting instinctively from the “red zone.” Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore the biology behind these two systems, the role of mindfulness in moving from one to the other, and how to combat the brain’s evolved negativity bias.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:45: The difference between “responding” and “reacting”
3:05: Responding vs. reacting in practice
6:45: The biology behind responding and reacting
9:10: The negative cycle of reacting
10:20: If reacting is stressful, why do we have that system?
12:40: Mindfulness and our reactions
13:25: What makes people respond rather than react?
16:20: The “quantity” vs. “quality” effect of green and red zone experiences
20:40: The cumulative effect of negative experiences
21:45: How to limit the impact of negative experiences
23:05: The positive spiral of taking in good experiences
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Dr. Hanson explains why it’s not so bad to be “needy.” We all have needs for safety, satisfaction, and connection, the question is how can we meet them skillfully?
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: Why needs?
1:15: The three needs
2:55: Superficial needs
5:00: The role of mindfulness
6:00: Objections to our needs
7:00: Getting comfortable with neediness
7:50: The evolution of needs
9:00: How to address deep, rather than superficial, needs
11:30: How we can learn to distinguish between deep and superficial needs
13:00: The importance of internalization
14:20: Finding and meeting your key needs
16:20: Meeting needs by growing resources
18:20: Recap
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The mind is a dangerous neighborhood, and there are three ways we can skillfully 'deal with' the often problematic neighbor that lives in our heads. Rick and Forrest explore how we can be with our experience, let go of negative thoughts and feelings, and plant new flowers in the garden of the mind.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: What do we mean by ‘dealing with the mind?’
3:00: The three ways to deal with the mind
4:50: Why the mind is like a garden
7:00: How mindfulness applies to dealing with the mind
9:30: Why intervention can be diagnostic
11:00: How to practically work through negative material
12:45: How is opening to your ‘experience’ different from opening to your ‘trip’?
14:45: Why the mind is like a septic tank
16:20: Sensing beneath the surface of the mind
19:45: Language, planning, and the brain
22:15: Experiencing things ‘out’
23:10: Being kind to yourself
24:00: How do we get ‘good things’ into the brain?
29:00: Recap
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin this month's topic of Mindfulness by focusing on how we can use mindfulness in practical ways in the flow of our daily lives.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:45: What do we mean by "mindfulness"?
2:05: Two ways to apply mindfulness
3:45: Mindfulness as a tool
5:15: What are you using mindfulness to DO?
6:15: How can we use mindfulness to grow strengths?
9:00: The banquet table of life
10:10: Benefits and pitfalls of mindfulness
10:55: Why does mindfulness cause us to develop positive traits?
11:40: How can we become more mindful moment to moment?
13:00: The brain's unreliable narration
14:25: Being mindful of our own tendencies
16:40: How to grow mindfulness
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Dr. Rick Hanson explains why enjoying life is both easy to dismiss and surprisingly hard to do. Particularly, he explores how we can authentically find enjoyable moments even during very difficult times in our lives.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:35: Why is enjoying life a strength to develop?
2:00: Enjoyment and the brain
3:15: The importance of key experiences.
4:30: Our cultural pitfalls around enjoyment.
7:30: How do we grow strengths? The problem with having a “stiff upper lip.”
8:40: What needs to be present alongside adversity for it to become an inner strength?
11:00: Learning from bad experiences.
12:15: Experiencing vs. Internalizing.
15:15: Finding enjoyment anywhere.
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On this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on the importance of acceptance. Particularly, they talk about how an authentic moment of acceptance can be a catalyst for positive growth.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:30: The importance of facing what's true.
1:45: Feeling acceptance along with something else.
2:40: Using acceptance as a catalyst for creating change.
4:10: How can I turn "acceptance" into something useful?
5:25: What are we accepting?/Aspects of acceptance.
8:30: Can we accept elements of ourselves?
9:55: How can we get better at acceptance?
10:35: The house of the self.
13:00: Practices to grow self-acceptance.
15:45: The fastest way to defuse an argument.
18:35: Recap and close.
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How we can use self-compassion to reduce rumination, feel safe while taking big risks, and improve our relationships with other people. Dr. Hanson and Forrest also explore what makes self-compassion different from self-pity or being on your own side.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Timestamps:
0:15: What are the benefits of self-compassion?
1:30: How is self-compassion different from "being on your own side"?
1:55: What's the difference between self-compassion and self-pity?
2:30: How can we be compassionate to ourselves without coming across like a complainer?
4:20: The fastest way to get people to stop talking AT you.
5:55: Using self-compassion to fight rumination
8:15: The function of rumination: avoiding a dreaded experience.
11:00: How to become more self-compassionate.
16:53: Summary and ending.
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Dr. Hanson focuses on the importance of self-compassion - and particularly on why it's important to get "on your own side" in order to create lasting, positive change in the brain.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book!
Connect with the show:
Timestamps:
0:35: Why start with compassion?
2:10: Why it's important to be on your own side.
4:30: Why does being for yourself promote well-being?
5:45: The importance of coping.
7:30: How do we get better at being for ourselves?
11:15: How to be consistent AFTER inspiration passes.
17:05: Recap
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What does it mean to truly be Resilient? Dr. Hanson explains the importance of Resilience and HOW we can grow the most important strength for achieving reliable happiness.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
Timestamps:
0:30: Why resilience is important
2:05: The HOW of growing key strengths
5:00: Dealing with challenges/What's in your backpack?
6:30: Resources, challenges, and vulnerabilites
7:40: Changing the brain for the better
9:45: How is this different from just "positive thinking"?
11:10: The negativity bias
13:45: The hopefulness of growing strengths
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Dr. Hanson and Forrest on the nature of relationships, what some big "red flags" are, and how to create a frame of effective communication with the people you care about. It's a fun episode, hope you enjoy it!
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
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Dr. Hanson explains the concept of “Just One Thing,” and applies it to his technique of Taking in the Good. If you’d like more Just One Thing, sign up for our free weekly newsletter here.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
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Dr. Hanson explains how we can actually go about the process of growing the good stuff in your mind and life – especially in the face of the brain’s negativity bias. To do this, we can use a method called “Taking in the Good.”
Want more from Dr. Hanson? Check out the free “Just One Thing” newsletter here.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
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Many people are much better at being “for others” than they are at being “for themselves.” In this episode Dr. Hanson explains how to develop a fundamental stance of being on your own side.
Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
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Welcome to Being Well with Dr. Rick Hanson! On this podcast we’ll learn how to increase our everyday happiness, build inner strengths, and get the most out of life.
On our first episode, Dr. Hanson gives an overview of some of the central questions this podcast will try to answer: Why does your brain have what scientists call a “negativity bias”? What does this mean? And what are some of the things we can do to build a happier, healthier brain?
Sponsor Message:
From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.
We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price.
Connect with the show:
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En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.