TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

As a parent of a neurodivergent child, you’ve probably had to let go of the traditional timelines we’re often told our kids should follow, especially when it comes to school milestones. And that requires a big adjustment for us as parents!

But what if we all took a step back and focused more on slowing down?

That’s exactly what my guest today, educator and author Leslie Martino, encourages us to do. With over twenty years of experience as a teacher, homeschooler, and adjunct lecturer, Leslie has a deep passion for helping parents and educators embrace a slower, more child-directed approach to learning. She homeschools her four children and also works as an educational consultant and parent coach, and her new book, The Joy of Slow: Restoring Wonder and Balance to Homeschool Learning, is a powerful guide to this philosophy.

In this conversation, we dive into how slowing down in education leads to deeper understanding and makes space for joyful, spontaneous learning. Leslie shares how creating a learning environment that values curiosity and playfulness—not just during structured learning times, but throughout the day—can foster lifelong learners. We also talk about the importance of connection and relationships in both parenting and education, and how that connection is at the heart of nurturing children who love to learn.

Even if you’re not homeschooling, I promise you’ll take away so much from this episode.

About Leslie Martino

Leslie Martino has over twenty years of experience teaching—as an elementary school teacher, a home educator, and an adjunct lecturer for graduate courses focused on the role of the teacher in supporting children’s individual work preferences. She homeschools her four children and works as an educational consultant, writing curricula, training teachers, and coaching parents to approach learning in an interest-based and child-directed way. She is a speaker on topics of education and motherhood and is also a contributing writer for the Wild + Free homeschooling community.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why it’s critical that parents create a learning environment that values curiosity
• How slowing down in education leads to deeper understanding and makes room for learning to be a joyful and meaningful process?
• How spontaneity in learning fosters natural responses and engagement, and how to “build in” room for spontaneity in everyday life
• Why playfulness essential in both parenting and education, and ways to ensure education is an exploratory rather than a linear process
• Why connection and relationship is at the heart of effective education and fostering humans who truly become lifelong learners

Resources mentioned

• Leslie Martino’s website
• The Joy of Slow: Restoring Wonder and Balance to Homeschool Learning by Leslie Martino
• Leslie Martino on Instagram
• The Call of the Wild and Free: Reclaiming the Wonder in Your Child's Education, A New Way to Homeschool by Ainsley Arment
• Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self by Manoush Zomorodi
• Angela Sizer and Maren Goerss on Homeschooling & Thinking Differently About Learning (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Think Differently About Learning: A Homeschool Where Parents and Children Thrive by Angela Sizer and Maren Goerss
• Becoming a Critical Thinker: A Workbook to Help Students Think Well in an Age of Disinformation by Julie Bogart
• Julie Bogart on Helping Kids Become Critical Thinkers (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards

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What comes to mind when you think about raising healthy kids? We often focus on physical health — things like height, weight, and nutrition. But today, we're taking a more holistic look at health with return guest, nutritionist and author Jill Castle. Specifically, e're diving into her new book, Kids Thrive at Every Size: How to Nourish Your Big, Small, or In-Between Child for a Lifetime of Health and Happiness.

In our conversation, we explore why emotional well-being is just as important as physical health, how COVID-19 has impacted kids’ nutrition, and the often-overlooked difference between feeding and eating. Jill highlights how family culture and values shape a child’s overall health and why it's so important to foster a body-neutral environment at home. We also touch on the connection between executive function and eating, plus the role screens and media play in shaping body image.

Before we dive in, a bit about Jill: She's one of the nation’s leading childhood nutrition experts, blending research with practical advice. She believes children can thrive at any size and challenges us to think differently about their health. Jill is the founder and CEO of The Nourished Child®, a nutrition education platform, and the mother of four adult-ish kids.

This conversation feels especially timely as our kids are bombarded with messages about how their bodies should look and behave. Now more than ever, it's crucial to provide them with a strong foundation for understanding health. I hope you enjoy this conversation with Jill Castle.

About Jill Castle

Jill Castle is the author of the book, Kids Thrive at Every Size (Workman, 2024) and one of the nation’s premier childhood nutrition experts. Known for her ability to blend current research, practical application, and common sense, Jill believes that children can thrive at every size. With her paradigm-shifting, whole-child approach, she inspires parents, healthcare professionals, and organizations that serve children and families to think differently about young people’s health and wellbeing. Jill is the founder and CEO of The Nourished Child®, a nutrition education website and podcast for parents, and the mother of four adult-ish children.

Things you'll learn

• How prioritizing emotional well-being is as important as physical health in children
• What a “whole child healthy” approach includes beyond nutrition
• How COVID-19 has impacted children's nutrition as evidenced by increased snacking and coping mechanisms related to food
• Why cultivating a body-neutral family culture is crucial
• How parents addressing their own food baggage and modeling healthy behaviors positively influences children
• Why screens and media significantly influence children's body image and self-esteem
• How parents can become 'size-wise' by understanding the pillars of wellness and working towards raising a healthy, happy child

Resources mentioned

• Jill Castle’s website (private consultation and other services)
• Kids Thrive at Every Size: How to Nourish Your Big, Small, or In-Between Child for a Lifetime of Health and Happiness by Jill Castle
• The Nourished Child website
• The Nourished Child Podcast
• Jill Castle on Instagram
• Jill Castle on Facebook
• Nutritionist Jill Castle with the Facts About ADHD and Nutrition in Kids (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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Flex School founder Jacqui Byrne shares her vision for creating powerful learning communities for gifted and 2e students through her unique educational model.

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Parent coach Zach Morris and Debbie answer a listener's question about sharing a new autism diagnosis with a 10 year old who embraces his neurodivergence but lives in a community / culture where the term "autism" has a negative connotation.

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In today’s conversation, I’m diving into the much-anticipated book Navigating PDA in America with the co-authors and thought leaders in the PDA space, Diane Gould and Ruth Fidler. We've touched on PDA in past episodes, but I learned so much from this book, and I’m excited to share it with you because PDA is a diagnosis bringing a lot of clarity and relief to families. As it gains traction in the neurodivergence space, the more we know, the better we can support PDAers in our communities. In this episode, we talk about the nuances of the PDA profile and how to one might determine if the identification fits, where North America stands in understanding PDA in comparison with the rest of the world, the challenges PDA individuals face in school and how they can effectively be addressed, what type of therapy is best for someone with a PDA profile, and much more.

About Diane Gould

Diane Gould is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that specializes in serving autistic individuals. As the Executive Director and Founder of PDA North America, she founded the annual PDA North America conference held in Chicago that has changed the lives of hundreds of PDA (pathological demand avoidance/persistent drive for autonomy) families. She co-authored the book Navigating PDA in America with Ruth Fidler which was published in June 2024. In April 2024, Diane was diagnosed as autistic.

Diane has a private practice in the suburbs of Chicago, where she serves neurodivergent children, adults and their families. Over the last 40 plus years, she has worked for both private agencies and school systems. She currently focuses her practice on providing consultation and training. She works primarily with parents and regularly attends school meetings with them. Diane loves to train educators and therapists so they can better serve their students and clients. And learning about PDA, led her to begin the new PDA movement in North America. Diane formed PDA North America at the first American PDA conference in March 2020.

About Ruth Fidler

Ruth Fidler is an Education Consultant specializing in complex presentations of autism, Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and emotional well-being. She worked at an all age non-maintained special school for 22 years until 2014 and has worked independently since then. Ruth worked within the school promoting interactive approaches and emotional well- being for pupils with varying autistic profiles.

As well as providing training, she regularly observes and monitors teaching and learning, supporting staff to embed and refine good autism and SEND practice. She often presents at local or national events and conferences for parents and for a range of professionals. She is co-author of the following books: Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in Children, Can I Tell You About Pathological Demand Avoidance?, Collaborative Approaches to Learning, Girls and Autism, Being Julia, and Navigating PDA in America.

Things you'll learn

• How Diane and Ruth came to share their personal journeys working with neurodivergent individuals and collaborate on the book Navigating PDA in America
• The state of understanding and awareness of PDA in North America in comparison with the UK and Australia
• The factors that distinguish a PDA profile of autism, including using socially strategic ways to avoid demands and more
• Ways schools can better support PDA students, such as adopting flexible approaches, building trust, and recognizing the need for fluctuating capacity and recovery time
• Why traditional therapeutic modalities may be ineffective for PDA individuals, and what is most important for therapy to be successful and positive

Resources mentioned

• Diane Gould’s website
• Ruth Fidler’s website
• Navigating PDA in America: A Framework to Support Anxious, Demand-Avoidant Autistic Children, Teens, and Young Adults by Ruth Fidler and Diane Gould
• PDA North America
• PDA Society (UK)

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Neuropsychologist William Stixrud PhD and Ned Johnson talk about their gamechanging book "The Self-Driven Child" and explain the importance of supporting our child's sense of control and autonomy.

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In today's episode, my guest reminds us that no one goes through life unscathed. We all face big, difficult challenges—it's part of being human. And when we encounter these challenges while parenting, it's up to us to help our kids make sense of things in healthy ways that foster resilience. But how exactly do we do that?

My guest, author-illustrator Sara Olsher, is a strong advocate for talking to kids honestly about the big things happening in our families. She speaks from her own experience, having navigated difficult conversations with her daughter during a messy divorce, followed shortly by a cancer diagnosis. Despite her fears about using the word "cancer," Sara knew it was important for her daughter to understand what was happening with accurate information. As Sara explained in our conversation, “Developmentally, the whole world revolves around them. So if you don't talk with children about these things, they’ll invent a story that centers on them, and they may conclude it’s their fault.”

I love talking with people who take their personal experiences and hard-earned wisdom and turn them into tools to help others feel more supported and confident. That’s exactly what Sara did, and today, she shares her journey with us. You'll hear how she navigated her divorce and used her daughter’s anxiety as an opportunity to learn the power of visual schedules and open communication in helping kids cope with tough situations. She also discusses the series of children’s books she’s written to help parents tackle heavy topics like chronic illness, hospice, cancer, and emotions. One thing that really stood out to me was how going through hard times can actually prepare our kids to live with uncertainty.

In addition to her books, Sara is the founder of Mighty and Bright, a company that helps kids and adults manage their lives more easily with magnetic visual schedules. She shares how she discovered visual schedules almost by accident, but how they transformed her daughter’s anxiety overnight. They sound like a game changer for many families, so definitely check out her resources if they resonate with you.

I hope you enjoy this conversation with Sara Olsher.

About Sara Olsher

After surviving a divorce and cancer all before she turned 35, mom and author-illustrator Sara Olsher took the lessons she learned about helping kids through major life changes and wrote a book. Then another, and another. She now has twelve picture books under her belt, and is the founder of Mighty and Bright, a company that helps kids and adults understand and manage their lives more easily using magnetic visual schedules. Sara was chosen as a 2023 Remarkable Woman by Nexstar Media.

Things you'll learn

• Why open communication and honesty are crucial when discussing difficult topics with children
• How visual schedules provide a sense of control and security for children, especially when they’re experiencing anxiety related to life circumstances
• How children's books can be powerful tools for explaining complex concepts like chronic illness, divorce, and death
• Why ongoing communication and flexibility are key in supporting children as they foster adaptability
• How parents can heal their own trauma and create a deeper connection with their children by addressing difficult topics openly and honestly

Resources mentioned

• Sara Olsher’s website
• Mighty and Bright
• Mighty and Bright on Instagram
• Mighty and Bright on TikTok
• What Happens When… book series

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Dr. Manju Banerjee, VP of Educational Research and Innovation at Landmark College, talks about Landmark's vision for helping neurodivergent students thrive in college and in their careers.

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Just as technology evolves rapidly, so too do the ways drugs are consumed. For parents, it can be challenging to recognize when our kids are using, especially since many products on the market now resemble harmless school supplies or candy. And then if we find our kids are engaging in drug use, how do we even begin to navigate that?

That’s what we’re going to explore today with my guest Brenda Zane, whose oldest son struggled with an addiction to a high-risk lifestyle and illicit drugs for over five years. After nearly losing him to two fentanyl overdoses, Brenda left her marketing career to serve other families dealing with the fear, confusion, and feelings of helplessness of having a child who’s misusing drugs or alcohol, becoming a family advocate and co-founding the nonprofit organization Hopestream Community, where she serves parents of teens and young adults who struggle with substance misuse and mental health challenges.

This is such a powerful conversation and one I truly recommend all parents to listen to, no matter the age of their children, as it’s important to understand the landscape for drug access and use in the lives of today’s kids. During this episode, Brenda and I talked about the importance of open communication and understanding the reasons behind drug use, the dangers of high-potency THC products in younger users, and the challenges parents face when their teenagers experiment with substances, as well as explore the idea that there is a difference between “typical experimentation” and problematic use when talking about marijuana. I know that this can be one of those uncomfortable topics that many of us would rather avoid thinking about, especially if we have a history of substance abuse in our families, but it’s important for our kids' safety that we do the research and create spaces for these conversations to be had at home.

One last thing, please know that this episode contains references to drug abuse, overdosing, and mental health issues. So do what you need to do to take care of yourself if these are triggering themes for you.

About Brenda Zane

Brenda Zane is a family advocate and co-founder of the nonprofit organization Hopestream Community. She’s passionate about serving parents of teens and young adults who struggle with substance misuse and mental health challenges. Brenda’s oldest son struggled with an addiction to a high-risk lifestyle and illicit drugs for over five years. After nearly losing him to multiple fentanyl overdoses, Brenda left her marketing career to serve other families dealing with the fear, confusion, and feelings of helplessness of having a child who’s misusing drugs or alcohol. You can hear Brenda weekly on the Hopestream podcast.

Things you'll learn

• How today’s marijuana is significantly more potent than traditional marijuana and how that can impact a developing adolescent brain
• Why parents need to stay informed about new drug delivery methods, such as vape pens and edibles, to effectively address drug use in their children
• What some of the reasons behind drug use are, including coping with social anxiety or seeking acceptance
• How leveraging a child's strengths in positive activities can help redirect their focus and prevent problematic drug use
• Why it’s critical that parents create a safe space for teenagers to talk about their experiences and the reasons behind their substance use
• When to seek support from therapists and communities that provide resources and guidance for parents navigating these challenges

Resources mentioned:

• Hope Stream Community website
• Hope Stream Community on Instagram
• Hope Stream Podcast
• Worried Sick: A compassionate Guide for Parents of Teens or Young Adults Misusing substances (free ebook)
• HINDSIGHT: Three Things I Wish I Knew When My Son was Misusing Substances (free ebook)
• The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence by Jessica Lahey

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Pediatric psychologist and author Mona Delahooke talks about her new book "Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges."

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Parent coach Margaret Webb and Debbie discuss how to help an autistic child with low self-esteem. They explore the importance of giving the child time to regulate and be alone, rather than assuming it is a sign of low self-esteem. They also discuss the window shade age, where children become aware of their differences from their peers. They emphasize the need to support effort rather than outcome and to make sure the child feels valued. The conversation ends with a reminder to trust in oneself as a parent and seek support if needed.

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My fall season is officially starting today and I’m kicking it off with a conversation with Dr. Billy Garvey on mental health. Billy, a developmental pediatrician with over 20 years’ experience working with children in Australia, met last year while he was traveling around the world on a fellowship to explore the connection between how children are parented and their mental health as adults. One of the outcomes of that fellowship is Billy’s new book, which is called 10 Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child's Mental Health, which he was kind enough to send me an advanced copy of. So I wanted to bring him on the show to talk about that, but really to expand on that initial conversation I had with him but so that you all could be a part of it, too. We covered a lot of ground in this extra long episode, including challenges of accessing mental health support in Australia, the need for true inclusion and what that actually means, the importance of unconditional love for kids, attachment and temperament, the role of self-esteem, and the limitations of certain diagnoses, and much more.

About Dr. Billy Garvey

Dr Billy Garvey is a developmental pediatrician with over 20 years’ experience working with children in a number of settings. He is a senior specialist at one of the largest tertiary pediatric hospitals in the world where he sees families, trains clinicians and other professionals working with children and conducts research in child development and mental health.

Dr Billy’s clinical and research interests include child development and mental health, multidisciplinary collaboration, improving health literacy and promoting community engagement to support all families. He holds clinical, advocacy and research roles in government and not-for-profit organizations at a national, state and local level. He is currently undertaking a PhD piloting a model to support child emotional and behavioral development in primary schools and is a Churchill Fellow exploring how social media can be used to support parenting. He is also the founder of Guiding Growing Minds, a social enterprise that aims to give all children the opportunity to reach their potential and live rich and meaningful lives. The Pop Culture Parenting podcast is part of this vision.

Things you'll learn

• Why access to mental health support for children in Australia is a challenge, with long wait lists and limited availability of specialists
• How unconditional love and support are essential for helping children develop a positive sense of self and navigate challenges, and what that looks like in action
• Why the younger generation shows promise in driving positive change and embracing neurodiversity
• How secure attachment and sensitive parenting contribute to promoting healthy child development, and ways attachment can be strengthened over time
• Why self-esteem is best cultivated through consistent support, celebrating successes, and providing opportunities for growth
• The negative implications (and unhelpfulness) of diagnoses like oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD)

Resources mentioned

• Dr. Billy Garvey’s website Guiding Growing Minds
• Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health by Dr. Billy Garvey
• Pop Culture Parenting (podcast)
• Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
• Dr. Mona Delahooke
• Dr. Dan Siegel
• Dr. Bruce Perry
• Thomas Boyce’s The Orchid Child and the Dandelion (Talks at Google)
• Jurassic Park and Co-Regulation (Pop Culture Parenting podcast)
• Forrest Gump and Kids Who Are Different (Pop Culture Parenting podcast)
• Thelma & Louise and Mental Health First-Aid (Pop Culture Parenting podcast)
• Blade Runner and Neurodiversity (Pop Culture Parenting podcast)

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Author and thought leader Jordan Shapiro, PhD, talks about his new book "The New Childhood" and why he believes parents should consider embracing and supporting the role of screens and technology in children's lives.

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There is a lot of misinformation and stigma around neurodivergence that can create extra barriers and challenges for our families. This is especially true for Tourette syndrome, which is often referred to as “the most misunderstood well-known condition,” often the punchline of jokes on late-night TV and sitcoms.

Its in large part because of these misconceptions and difficulty accessing resources that my guest today, Michele Turk, found herself at a loss when her 11 year old son Michael was diagnosed with Tourette. In her new memoir, What Makes Him Tic? A Memoir of Parenting a Child with Tourette Syndrome, she writes vulnerably about the challenges they faced as a family in getting the right support, navigating school, social, emotional, and academic challenges, and how she evolved from thinking she had to fix Michael to understanding her job was to accept him and help him do the same. She wanted the world to know he was so much more than the boy who shouted obscenities hundreds of times a day.

Because Michele has worked as a journalist for three decades, covering parenting, health, and education for outlets like Parents, Parenting, Elle, USA Weekend, The Washington Post, Brain, Child, and Next Avenue, she was compelled to write about her journey as she was in it, and that close up, honest perspective, blended with ample reporting on Tourette make What Makes Him Tic a compelling and informative read.

In this episode, Michele talks with us about the misconceptions about Tourette’s that she came across often in her work as a journalist and her private life as a parent. We also talked about what some of the early symptoms were and how they managed them, how differently she and her husband approached the diagnosis and what it took for them to get on the same page, how her son’s diagnosis impacted her daughter, and more.

Things you'll learn

• How parenting a child with Tourette syndrome be challenging and isolating, and why is it important to trust your gut and seek appropriate medical care
• What the most common misconceptions of Tourette are
• What makes navigating the school system so challenging for children with Tourette
• Ideas for navigating complex sibling dynamics in a mixed neurotype household
• How finding a passion or interest can help build self-esteem and provide a sense of belonging for children with Tourette

Resources mentioned

• Michele Turk’s website
• What Makes Him Tic?: A Memoir of Parenting a Child with Tourette Syndrome by Michele Turk
• Yale Child Study Center Tic and OCD Program Designated Center of Excellence
• Debbie and Her Husband Derin Talk About Their Journey of Parenting a Differently Wired Child (Tilt Parenting episode)
• Tourette Association of America
• Tourette Association Conference (Tic Con)
• Dr. Robert King
• Billie Eilish on Living with Tourette Syndrome (Harper’s Bazaar)
• How American Idol’s James Durbin Manages Life With Tourette’s and Asperger’s (Tourette Association of America)

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Psychotherapists Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright (The Happy Sleeper) talk about how to handle difficult situations in a way that’s respectful of the child and supports their social and emotional development.

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Listen to an episode of Understood.org's podcast "In It," a podcast for families with kids who learn and think differently, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek. This episode is called ADHD & Puberty, and features an interview with Dr. Roberto Olivardia.

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Okay, so I’ll just say right at the top that my guest today is NOT a parenting expert. He is, however, a neurodivergent researcher, educator, author, and thinker who has some fascinating things to share about helping our kids energize their brains, spark ideas, and ignite action.

Dr. Jeff Karp was that young kid who struggled greatly in school because of his learning disabilities, but when a tutor during the summer after second grade asked him this question – how did you think about that? – everything for him changed. He began to be more self-reflective. By thinking about thinking and how he approached learning, he was able to explore and create tools and systems to help him reach his goals both in school and in daily life.

Jeff is still thinking about thinking today, and shares his ideas in his fascinating book, LIT: Life Ignition Tools: Use Nature's Playbook to Energize Your Brain, Spark Ideas, and Ignite Action. ​​After I read his book, I wanted to bring him on the show because he embodies so much of what we talk about here at Tilt – encouraging our kids to understand how their brain works, get curious about their own strengths and gifts, and figure out ways to “hack themselves” so they can design lives that allow them to play to those strengths.

As a child, Jeff developed ways to navigate school and life that were based on his curiosity, passion, creativity, and connection to nature. Over the years, he’s evolved his approaches into LIT (Life Ignition Tools) and wrote this book to share them with the rest of the world.

About Dr. Jeff Karp

Dr. Jeff Karp holds the Distinguished Chair at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and is a Professor at Harvard Medical School and MIT. He is an elected fellow of the National Academy of Inventors, Royal Society of Chemistry, American Institute for Medical and Biological Engineering, Biomedical Engineering Society, and the Canadian Academy of Engineering.

Specializing in bioinspired medical innovation, Dr. Karp leads a research lab focused on harnessing lessons from nature. He has published over 165 peer-reviewed papers with more than 34,000 citations and has delivered nearly 400 invited lectures. He holds over 100 patents, and his lab’s technologies have led to the formation of thirteen companies.

His notable innovations include a tissue glue for sealing holes in a beating heart, targeted therapies for osteoarthritis and Crohn’s disease, smart needles, a nasal spray that neutralizes pathogens, and immunotherapy approaches for cancer.

Dr. Karp is also dedicated to mentoring the next generation of bioengineers. He has received multiple mentoring awards, and 30 of his trainees have secured faculty positions.

Things you'll learn

• How self-reflection and “thinking about thinking” can lead to transformative experiences and strategies for learning and focus
• What LIT (life ignition tools) is and how they can be used to support positive shifts and movement
• How being intentional in your actions and reawakening your senses can deepen your experiences
• What the LEB (low energy brain) dimmer switch is and how it helps regulate energy levels
• Why being aware of “bothered awareness” can become a motivator
• How practicing cycling through your senses helps one connect more deeply with the world and tap into your powerful biology

Resources mentioned

• Dr. Jeff Karp’s author website
• Dr. Jeff Karp’s KarpLab website
• LIT: Life Ignition Tools: Use Nature's Playbook to Energize Your Brain, Spark Ideas, and Ignite Action by Dr. Jeff Karp
• Jeff’s TEDx Talk Insight Outside: Harnessing Nature’s Secrets
• Jeff’s TEDx Talk: Turning Failure into Success: 3 principles of Radical Simplicity
• Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath
• Brian Stevenson / Equal Justice Initiative
• Transcendental Meditation

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Dr. Sharon Saline, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children, adolescents, and families who are dealing with ADHD and other learning disabilities, talks about a child’s emotional journey as they come to understand and accept the way their brain is wired.

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Executive function coach Seth Perler joins Debbie to answer a listener question about how to best address adolescent impulsivity and disruptive behavior in a way that diffuses intensity while also effectively working toward growth.

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What does the word capable mean to you? My guest, Dr. Deborah Winking, defines a capable person as an individual living a meaning-filled life determined by them and those who love them with the maximum level of autonomy and agency that they can achieve and authentically access. She’s on a mission to show that there’s a version of capable for every child that is unique to them, and it’s what she writes about in her new book, Raising Capable Kids. The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of their Child's Label or Challenge.

Deborah, an educator, school leader, consultant and researcher, has a Ph.D in Educational Psychology, and is the mother of four children, including one child born with a rare neurological syndrome. She’s worn many hats over the course of her career, including working with and advocating for countless children and families, teaching at the New England Center for Autism where she started the first work experience and supported employment program there, and conducting a 5-year evaluation of the New York City Schools Early Childhood Inclusive Education Initiative. She currently works in a public school teaching bilingual disabled learners. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Deborah is also the author of a memoir called Capable: A Story of Triumph For Children the World has Judged as "Different.”

But for today’s show, Deb shared the story of raising her son Jack and how focusing on the near future, or the next 15 yards as she calls it, helped her stay grounded. We also explored the concept of capable through multiple examples, the role of agency, our vision as parents, and more. I hope you enjoy our conversation!

About Deborah Winking, Ph.D

Deborah Winking, Ph.D is the mother of four (including one child born with a rare neurological syndrome), and has worked with and advocated for countless children and families over the years as an educator, school leader, consultant and researcher. 

Deborah has a Ph.D in Educational Psychology from the University of Illinois. She taught students with autism at the New England Center for Autism and started the first work experience and supported employment program there; designed the authentic and portfolio assessment program for the Minneapolis Public Schools; conducted the 5 year evaluation of the New York City Schools Early Childhood Inclusive Education Initiative; worked at the University of Washington Center for Educational Leadership training school leaders and teachers across the country in equity based and student centered instructional practices. She currently works in a public school teaching bilingual learners with disabilities. Deborah is the author of two books Capable, and Raising Capable Kids-The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of label or Challenge.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How parents who are raising their kids to be capable share important mindsets and behaviors
• What it means to be capable, defined as living a meaningful life with autonomy and agency
• Why setting a vision of being capable with your child important, and how can it be adjusted as necessary
• How self-compassion and learning from mistakes are crucial in the parenting journey

Resources mentioned for Raising Capable Kids, Regardless of Diagnosis or Challenge

• Dr. Deborah Winking’s website
• Raising Capable Kids. The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of their Child's Label or Challenge by Dr. Deborah Winking
• Capable on Facebook
• Capable on Instagram
• Email Deborah directly at [email protected]
• Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards on Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World (Tilt Parenting episode)
• I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards
• Self-Determination Theory
• The Art of Case Study Research
• Go to us.JKP.com and enter the code TiltRCK20 to get Raising Capable Kids for 20% off, plus free shipping.

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Amanda Morin of Understood joins Debbie for a special back-to-school episode to help families prepare for easing into the coming school year with as much confidence and serenity as possible.

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If you’ve ever used the word “baffling” when describing your child’s behavior, this episode is for you. My guest is Robyn Gobbel, an expert in relational neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology, the author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work and the host of the podcast The Baffling Behavior Show.

As a psychologist, Robyn has always been passionate about working with those kids who have more tricky or extreme behaviors, and she does that by harnessing the power of neuroscience. Through her work with families, she decodes the latest brain science into easy-to-understand principles and metaphors to help parents become an expert in their child's behavior.

During this episode, Robyn and I explore the core issues underlying nearly all struggles in children — dysregulation, disconnection, or feeling unsafe — and how understanding the brain's operation in either connection mode or protection mode can transform our approach to parenting. We also touched upon Robyn’s metaphors for the three brain states: the owl (calm), the watchdog (vigilant), and the possum (withdrawn), which can help us better understand and respond to our children's needs.

I have a hunch many of you will resonate with Robyn’s experience of feeling like she wasn’t doing enough for the kids she was working with, or that it was her fault they continued to struggle. I know I did. And I also find the reminder that it takes time to figure out how to best support our kids, and ourselves, empowering and optimistic. I hope you feel the same after listening to this episode!

About Robyn Gobbel

Robyn Gobbel, MSW, loves coffee, P!NK, and everything about the brain. Once (recently!) her teenager went ballistic on her for getting ANOTHER (glitter!) coffee mug in the mail.Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma- helpers, healers, educators, and parents.

Her favorite thing ever (besides glittery coffee mugs) is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience.What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change. You can get your hands on all sorts of free resources at her website, including her podcast, The Baffling Behavior Show. Robyn is the author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work.

Things you'll learn

• What relational neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology is
• Why maladaptive behaviors are in fact adaptive responses to specific environments or experiences
• What underlies nearly all struggles in children — dysregulation, disconnection, or feeling unsafe
• How the brain operates in either connection mode or protection mode
• Why Robyn created the metaphors for the 3 brain states: owl (calm), watchdog (vigilant), and possum (withdrawn)
• How and why caring for our own regulated state helps us better support others

Resources mentioned

• Free resources on Robyn Gobbel’s website
• Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work by Robyn Gobbel
• The Baffling Behavior Show (Robyn’s podcast)
• Being With (Robyn’s training program for professionals who work with parents
• The Club (Robyn’s online community for parents)
• Interpersonal Neurobiology, explained by Dr. Dan Siegel
• Bonnie Badenoch
• Dr. Dan Siegel
• Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
• Dr. Allan Schore
• One Child: The True Story of a Tormented Six-Year-Old and the Brilliant Teacher Who Reached Out by Torey Hayden
• Dr. Stephen Porges
• Dr. Bruce Perry
• Dr. Mona Delahooke

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Licensed marriage and family therapist, parent coach, and speaker Debbie Steinberg Kuntz )Bright & Quirky) walks us through a 6-step strategy that parents can employ to help their child thrive that fits the unique way they are wired.

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The movement surrounding neurodivergence has evolved so much since I started Tilt Parenting, which I launched as “revolution for differently wired kids” back in 2016. I see changes everywhere — in the language we use, the parenting discussions we have, the deeper understanding of diagnostic criteria for things like autism and ADHD, the adaptations some companies are making to support their neurodivergent employees.

A few months ago, I grabbed a coffee with my friend Marcus Soutra, who until recently was the co-founder and president of Eye to Eye, a national organization dedicated to enhancing the educational journey and outcomes of neurodiverse youth, and we got into a deep conversation about all of these changes, and we thought, hey, why not have this conversation for the podcast to explore it further for the Tilt community. So here we are.

So that’s what this episode is. A thoughtful look at things like how the language and identity within the neurodiversity community has shifted, why community is a cornerstone of the movement, the ways privilege and access impacts a student’s ability to fully embrace neurodivergence, the potential pros and cons of neurodiversity content on social media apps like TikTok, self-identifying versus formal diagnoses, generational differences in experience, how we can help advance the movement in our everyday lives, and much more.

About Marcus Soutra

Marcus began his professional journey as a public school teacher before immersing himself in the grassroots movement of Eye to Eye and ultimately running it for nearly twenty years. Drawing from his experiences as both an educator and an individual with dyslexia and ADHD, Marcus deeply understands the challenges faced by students and teachers in navigating the educational landscape. His commitment to dismantling barriers and fostering confidence among diverse learners is evident in his work and advocacy efforts. Marcus has just embarked on a new venture with For The Good Consulting, where he leverages his expertise, network, and personal journey to support other organizations in scaling their missions.

Things you'll learn

• How the language and identity within the neurodiversity movement has evolved towards embracing neurodivergence
• Why community is a cornerstone of the neurodiversity movement
• How privilege impacts the ability to embrace neurodivergence, particularly regarding access to resources
• Where stigma surrounding neurodivergence persists, and how individuals are challenging stereotypes
• Why early identification and support is crucial for the success of neurodivergent individuals in school and beyond
• How parents can effectively advocate by supporting their child's self-advocacy and building supportive communities

Resources mentioned

• For the Good Consulting (Marcus Soutra’s website)
• Marcus Soutra on LinkedIn
• Email Marcus
• Eye to Eye website
• Rise Act
• Judy Singer
• Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman
• Understood
• Dr. Mel Houser and All Brains Belong

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Author and former NY Times Motherlode editor KJ Dell'Antonia talks about her book "How To Be a Happier Parent" and what she learned about how parents can bring more happiness into their daily lives.

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Parent coach Zach Morris joins Debbie to answer a listener question about how to help a twice-exceptional 8 year old (ADHD and Autism), be more flexible and less argumentative in a way that supports the whole family's emotional regulation.

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For some people, going to the doctor isn’t as simple as going to the doctor. In fact, for many parents of neurodivergent kids, and for many neurodivergent people themselves, interacting with healthcare systems requires researching, planning, and strategizing ahead of time in the hopes of a smooth appointment. Unfortunately, all too often, medical appointments are uncomfortable, stressful, and in some cases traumatic, because they environments and approaches to healthcare aren’t neurodivergent affirming.

As a result, traditional healthcare models often fail their neurodivergent patients, which is why today’s conversation is so important, as my guest is a doctor who is passionate about changing medical practices to be more neuroinclusive and community-based on this episode. Dr. Mel Houser is a family physician and Founder and Executive Director of All Brains Belong VT, a nonprofit organization in Montpelier, Vermont with a mission to support the health and belonging of people with all types of brains. All Brains Belong has pioneered an innovative model that integrates medical care with social connection, employment support, and community education.

In this conversation, Mel introduced me to the All Brains Belong Vermont, a revolutionary community-driven healthcare model that goes beyond medical care. We also talked about why the traditional healthcare system often fails neurodivergent patients and the serious consequences when they opt out of the medical system, the critical need for healthcare to address not just physical, but also social and emotional needs, and practical strategies on advocating for better healthcare, from understanding access needs and requesting accommodations to challenging the defaults of the current system.

About Dr. Mel Houser

Dr. Mel Houser is a family physician and Founder and Executive Director of All Brains Belong VT, a nonprofit organization in Montpelier, Vermont with a mission to support the health and belonging of people with all types of brains. All Brains Belong has pioneered an innovative model that integrates medical care with social connection, employment support, and community education.

Things you'll learn

• How all Brains Belong Vermont has developed a community-driven healthcare model that integrates medical care with social connection and employment support
• Why the traditional healthcare system often fails neurodivergent patients
• What the consequences are when neurodivergent people opt out of the medical system
• Why it’s critical that healthcare address patients' social and emotional needs
• What universal design for healthcare is and how it can improve experiences for neurodivergent people
• How we can all advocate for better healthcare by learning about access needs, requesting accommodations, and challenging system defaults

Resources mentioned

• All Brains Belong (Dr. Mel Houser’s website)
• All Brains Belong on Instagram
• All Brains Belong on Facebook
• Dr. Mel Houser on LinkedIn
• All Brains Belong Resource, ALL THE THINGS (Free resource for navigating neurodivergent healthcare)
• All Brains Belong Kid Connections (Free customized friend-making program for kids age 4-17 based on shared interests)
• Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving the Healthcare of Autistic & ADHD Patients
• Brain Club: (Weekly virtual community education program for older teens & adults)
• Practical Strategies for Neuroinclusive Healthcare (webinar)
• Milton’s ‘double Empathy Problem’: A Summary for Non-academics

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Marisa Meddin, founder of Talk College To Me and the creator of The 7 Day College Admissions Crash Course For Parents, discusses how students can become the strongest possible college applicants they can be.

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As my guest said in the episode you’re about to listen to, you don’t have to be a mental health professional to have mental health conversations. In fact, I would say that talking about difficult mental health topics outside of medical settings is not just helpful — it’s necessary in that it both normalizes mental health challenges and reduces the stigma that’s often associated with such struggles.

Author and Illustrator Cara Bean also knows this to be true, and is committed to exploring these topics through her art, specifically comics. Cara sees comics as a powerful tool both for teens to learn about mental health, and for parents to lean on for important conversations about complex topics. Which is exactly why she wrote her new book, Here I Am, I Am Me: An Illustrated Guide to Mental Health.

Every chapter in this therapist-recommended book explores a different aspect of mental health, from the brain and the mind, to feelings and emotions. By portraying complex neuroscience concepts with a cast of illustrated characters, Cara offers an accessible, approachable understanding of what’s going on in the brain that empowers readers.

I really love Cara’s book and so wanted to have her on the show to talk about her process for writing it, and how we can use it to support kids going through hard stuff. So in this conversation, Cara explained the way she visualized thoughts and feelings, why she felt so strongly about including detailed brain science in her book, and the power of metaphors to explain the impacts and struggles of addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicidality, making these heavy topics more relatable and easier to understand.

About Cara Bean

Cara Bean is the author of Here I Am, I Am Me: An Illustrated Guide to Mental Health and Draw 500 Funny Faces and Features. She provides interactive workshops on creativity with people of all ages and backgrounds in various public forums. Cara is passionate about drawing and believes that the simple act of doodling on paper can lead to the investigation of complex ideas.

When she is not teaching, she makes comics that delve into poetic self introspection, playful storytelling and topics relevant to teens and teaching. Cara is currently working on comics projects that speak directly to kids and address mental health. Cara lives in Massachusetts with her husband and their dog Raisin.

Things you'll learn

• How comics can provide an honest and accessible way to discuss complex issues
• The benefits of visualizing thoughts and feelings through thought bubbles and metaphors for enhancing understanding
• Why Cara felt so strongly about including detailed brain science in the book in order to foster understanding of emotional health and reactions
• How Cara leaned into the power of metaphors to explain the impact and struggles of things like addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicidality
• Why Cara wrote her book Here I Am, I Am Me for, and how different readers might approach engaging with it

Resources mentioned

• Cara Bean’s website
• Here I Am, I Am Me: An Illustrated Guide to Mental Health by Cara Bean
• Draw 500 Funny Faces and Features by Cara Bean
• Snakepit graphic pamphlet for adults
• John Porcellino (King-Kat Comics)
• The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens by Ellen Galinsky
• Ellen Galinsky Takes Us Through The Breakthrough Years and Raising Thriving Teens (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Graphic Medicine
• Bill Waterson (Calvin & Hobbes)
• The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence by Jessica Lahey
• Jess Lahey on Her New Book The Addiction Inoculation (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

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Julie Skolnick, the founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, shares tools and strategies for how parents can powerfully advocate for our kids and understand them as learners so we can show up as the best parent we can be.

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If you have a child approaching their college years, this episode is packed with invaluable advice. I’m thrilled to have Dr. Perry LaRoque here to discuss what neurodivergent students need to successfully navigate college and his book Taking Flight: College for Students with Disabilities, Diverse Learners and Their Families.

So, what does a “successful college experience” actually mean? Perry broke it down for us, emphasizing the importance of the core values of awareness, regulation, expression, and dynamic determination. Perry also highlighted the essential skills for independence, such as frustration tolerance and the importance of seeking help when needed, and explored some of the unexpected challenges that students might face, from managing dorm life to maintaining proper sleep hygiene. We also discussed the various resources available on most college campuses and how students can maximize these support services and why meeting with professors can be a game-changer for a struggling student.

We all know that our kids are way more than the grades they get at school and this conversation is full of insights into how to approach the college experience more holistically. I hope you enjoy it!

About Dr. Perry LaRoque

Dr. LaRoque is the founder and president of Mansfield Hall. He earned his doctorate in special education from the University of Wisconsin and has served in a variety of leadership roles serving at-risk youth and people with disabilities. Before returning for his doctoral work, Dr. LaRoque worked in an assisted-living care facility for adults with intellectual disabilities and taught special education in several public schools. Upon returning for his doctoral studies, he continued his service in the field and served as a teacher and mental health specialist in a children’s residential psychiatric program at Meriter Hospital in Madison, WI.

In addition to writing, Dr. LaRoque is also the co-founder of the College STEPS Program, a non-profit with a mission of providing post-secondary education to students with developmental disabilities in various locations across the East Coast.

Dr. LaRoque has served as an Adjunct Professor at University of Wisconsin-Whitewater and University of New Hampshire and as an Assistant Professor at the State University of New York at Potsdam. He is published in several major education journals for his work on educating students with disabilities and has presented at numerous national and international conferences. Dr. LaRoque also served on the Vermont Special Education Advisory Council, which is an appointed position by the Governor. Most recently, he was an Associate Professor and the Special Education Program Director at Johnson State College in Vermont, where he was instrumental in creating the first dual-certification Elementary Education program in Vermont and also started the Think College Program at Johnson State College.

Things you'll learn

• What a “successful college experience” actually means
• The role that the values of awareness, regulation, expression, and dynamic determination play in a student’s ability to thrive at university
• Why developing essential skills for independence, such as frustration tolerance and seeking help, is crucial for
• What some of the challenging areas are for students that they may not be anticipating, including dorm life, sleep hygiene, and more
• What types of resources are available on most college campuses and how students can take advantage of support services
• Why meeting with professors can make all the difference for a struggling student

Resources mentioned

• Dr. Perry Laroque’s website
• Taking Flight: College for Students with Disabilities, Diverse Learners and Their Families by Perry Laroque, PhD
• Mansfield Hall
• Virtual Hall
• Top College Consultants (Eric Endlich’s website)
• Eric Endlich on Gap Year Experiences for Neurodivergent Students (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• College Steps
• Think College

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Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler explores the concept of resistance in differently-wired kids and shares strategies and tools for how parents can support their kids in learning how to face their resistance.

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Parent coach Margaret Webb joins Debbie to answer a listener question about getting the most out of time spent with a developmental pediatrician, especially when the pediatrician may be minimizing concerns reported by the parents and there is little opportunity to explore questions and goals during appointments.

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Today, we're diving into a topic that will probably resonate with every parent: helping kids navigate the complex emotion of anger. And to explore this critical topic, I’m excited to welcome back the insightful Ginger Whitson, who will share her expertise while we discuss her book How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively.

We know that anger is a normal, natural, and physiological experience that all human beings are born with the capacity to feel. Yet many neurodivergent kids struggle with knowing how to experience and express their anger constructively, and they are in need of strategies and non-shaming guidance rather than what so often happens – they are punished for their behavior. So that’s what we get into in this episode — why anger in children can be so uncomfortable for adults to tolerate or respond to, strategies for teaching children alternatives to aggression, violence, or passive behavior, name assertiveness, the importance of adults stepping in as calm presences to help regulate a child's emotions and foster healthy coping mechanisms, and more.

By equipping our kids with these tools, we can support their emotional development and help them navigate their feelings more effectively. Enjoy this wisdom-packed episode with Ginger Whitson.

About Ginger Whitson

Signe Whitson (Ginger) is a licensed social worker and international educator on topics related to child & adolescent mental health. She is the author of seven books, including How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively. Ginger is also the Dean of Students at a K-8 school in northeastern Massachusetts and the COO of the Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute.

Things you'll learn

• Why anger is a normal, natural, and physiological experience that all human beings are born with the capacity to feel
• How the way individuals perceive events determines whether they feel anger, and why it varies from person to person
• Why children who are aggressive or have difficulty managing their anger need adults to help them learn skills to express their anger constructively, rather than being punished for their behavior
• Why being a calm presence for an angry child essential for helping them regulate their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms
• How teaching children assertiveness skills and providing them with alternatives to aggression, violence, or passive behavior contributes to their emotional development

Resources mentioned

• Signe Whitson’s website
• How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively by Signe Whitson
• Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute
• 8 Keys to End Bullying on Facebook
• 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools by Signe Whitson
• The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book for Kids & Tweens: Worksheets, Quizzes, Games, & Skills for Putting the Keys Into Action by Signe Whitson 
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Dr. Debra Brause on the Question: Does Traditional Therapy Work for Neurodivergent Kids? (Tilt Parenting episode)
• Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting episode)
• Raising Good Humans with Mindful Mentor Mama Hunter Clarke-Fields (Tilt Parenting episode)
• Dr. Lori Desautels on Rethinking Our Perceptions of Discipline in Schools and at Home (Tilt Parenting episode)

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Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler talks with 14-year-old Asher about resistance — what it is, why it shows up, how it gets in kids' ways, and what to do about it. This is a special back-to-school episode aimed at kids.

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I’m extremely interested in Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal theory and the context it offers for understanding the nervous system experience of our kids. So I was especially interested when my guest’s book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection, came onto my radar. Yshai Boussi is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families, and parents. His focus is mentoring at-risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities, and leading intensive experiential workshops for at-risk youth, and he’s adept at applying polyvagal theory to helping parents foster deeper connection and reduce conflict.

In this conversation, we discussed how to build and maintain supportive relationships with teens, the crucial difference between "acceptance" and "agreement" when validating a teen's emotional experience, the power of co-regulation, and how a child's state of regulation affects their "story" and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences. A lot of great takeaways in this one, and I will admit to sending the rough cut to my husband Derin to listen to because I found so much of what we discussed highly relevant — I didn’t want to wait!

About Yshai Boussi

Yshai Boussi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been working with youth and families for over 20 years. He is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families and parents. His experience includes mentoring at risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities and leading intensive experiential workshops for at risk youth. As a systems trained family therapist since 2003, Yshai has worked extensively in community mental health settings as well as private practice. In addition to working professionally, he and his wife Mariah (also a therapist) are proud parents of a 15 year-old daughter, 12 year-old son, and adult foster son. Yshai is the author of the newly released book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why today’s teens feel so disconnected and lonely
• How P.A.C.E. (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) is the “attitude of connection” when it comes to engaging with teenagers
• What the difference between “acceptance” and “agreement” is when it comes to validating a teen’s emotional experience
• What the Polyvagal Theory is and awareness of its role can help us understand and better support struggling adolescents
• Why a child's state of regulation in any given moment affects their “story” and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences
• Why one of the most powerful things an adult can do for a teenager is to co-regulate

Resources mentioned for:

• Yshai Boussi’s website
• Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection by Yshai Boussi
• Yshai Boussi on Instagram
• Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation
• Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana
• Deb Dana on Befriending Our Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory (podcast episode)
• Dr. John Duffy’s website
• Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety: A Complete Guide to Your Child’s Stressed, Depressed, Expanded, Amazing Adolescence by Dr. John Duffy
• Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety, with Dr. John Duffy (podcast episode)
• Dr. Daniel Hughes and PACE
• Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website
• Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels

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Independent filmmaker Marc Smolowitz (13th Gen) talks about his upcoming film "The G Word", which tackles issues related to giftedness, equity, and social justice for a broad audience.

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I refer to Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in just about every talk I give to a parent community. Dr. Greene’s quote “Kids do well when they can” changed my life when I first read it about 15 years ago, and it remains as powerful today. So I was especially excited to welcome back to the show child psychologist and author Dr. Ross Greene to talk about how his problem solving model can be effectively used with very young children, even infants.

If you are new to CPS, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to our first conversation for the show, where we explored this approach in detail. But in the meantime, in this conversation we delved into why it’s crucial to shift from a compliance-focused approach to one of collaboration and understanding, even starting as early as age two. We also talked about how what we often label as a "difficult baby" is actually an infant struggling to meet our expectations, how using CPS can significantly enhance their well-being, and why we want to question the underlying reasons behind adult concerns — all of these are concept explored in the powerful new documentary, It's Never Too Early: CPS with Very Young Kids.

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the originator of the innovative, evidence-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. He also developed and executive produced the award-winning documentary film The Kids We Lose, released in 2018. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance. He is also currently adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Greene has worked with several thousand kids with concerning behaviors and their caregivers, and he and his colleagues have overseen implementation and evaluation of the CPS model in countless schools, inpatient psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, with dramatic effect: significant reductions in recidivism, discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and use of restraint and seclusion.

• Never Too Early: CPS with Young Kids (documentary)
• The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene
• Lives in the Balance (Dr. Greene’s website)

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This episode features a conversation with licensed clinical psychologist and board certified dance/movement therapist, Dr. Lori Baudino. Dr. Baudino provides therapeutic support to assist parents in understanding, handling, and accepting the challenges of parenting and the complexities of a developing child. She specializes in supporting children identified with special needs, including those with learning disabilities, early life traumas, academic/behavioral/emotional challenges, children on the Autism Spectrum, and with chronic acute illnesses.

In our conversation, we talk about the mind-body connection, and how teaching differently wired kids to tap into this relationship and understand their body’s unique language can be a valuable tool as they learn to regulate their emotions, better understand social communication, and more.

About Dr. Baudino: Dr. Lori Baudino has been a practicing clinician for over a decade. She received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology and Masters in Creative Arts Therapy – Dance/Movement Therapy, which identifies symptoms and creates ways to express psychological and emotional experiences through the mind/body connection, ultimately transforming words into action. Dr. Baudino is the National Clinical Spokesperson for The Andréa Rizzo Foundation. With their sole funding, she brought the first Dance/Movement Therapy Programs to UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital and Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, where she provides bedside therapy to children with cancer, special needs and terminal illness. She has specialized in supervising, facilitating, and providing treatment for children with special needs and their families, and has worked in psychiatric hospitals and at rehabilitation centers for trauma, addiction, and pain management. Learn more at Dr. Lori Baudino.

Things You'll Learn From This Episode:

• What “body knowledge” is and why it’s so important for differently wired kids
• How the mind and body are connected
• How to learn how to recognize the body language and movement profiles of rigidity, tantrums, and more
• The ways in which body knowledge can support a child’s development
• How we can learn to be tuned in to our child’s body language
• How Dr. Baudino uses movement and physical play to help children better understand their emotions
• What mind-body integration means and why this is what we’re going for

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In this solocast, Debbie Reber answers a listener question about what she does to recharge, fill her energetic and emotional reserves, and make time for herself.

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Many parents of neurodivergent kids end up homeschooling at some point or another, for a period of time — some by choice, some because the school environment stopped being the right fit for our kids. If homeschooling is something you’ve considered, have done, or are currently doing,you are going to love this episode. I’m joined by Maren Goerss and Angela Sizer, two former teachers turned homeschooling parents and advocates, the hosts of the Homeschool Unrefined podcast, and the authors of the new book Think Differently About Learning: A Homeschool Where Parents and Children Thrive.

I loved this conversation where we explored homeschooling from many different angles, including considerations when homeschooling neurodivergent kids, the common barriers parents face, and why trusting the process and our children is crucial, yet challenging, in a homeschooling environment. We also talk about way viewing children as individuals worthy of respect and autonomy can revolutionize the learning experience, and how following our children's interests can lead to more meaningful and effective education.

Angela Sizer earned her Master’s in Teaching and taught in public schools for seven years. For a decade, she homeschooled her own children and loved watching them explore their passions and get excited about learning. These experiences strengthened Angela’s commitment to respecting how children learn and highlighted the role neurodivergence and mental health play in the process.

Maren Goerss has her Master’s in Education and taught elementary school for eight years. As part of a neurodivergent family, Maren sees learning differences as superpowers and leans into their strengths. After being a homeschool parent for years, Maren has become an ADHD parent and life coach.

Together, Angela and Maren created the podcast, Homeschool Unrefined, in 2016 to share their experience and knowledge as educators and homeschoolers while encouraging parents to notice how their children are always learning. Their podcast and book are a call to parents to reconsider their expectations of their children and themselves. They advocate for doing less, leaning into strengths, and enjoying the process.

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In this episode of the TILT Parenting Podcast, I’m excited to share with you a conversation I recently had with filmmaker Tom Ropelewski. Tom is the director of the highly acclaimed documentary 2e: Twice Exceptional, which came out in 2015, and he’s currently wrapping up post-production on a follow-up film, called 2e2: Teaching the Twice Exceptional.

Tom’s films center around Bridges Academy, a school for twice-exceptional kids in Studio City, CA that seems to have figured out the best way to meet the educational needs of these unique learners. In our conversation, Tom shares his story and personal why behind making these films, talks about the educational model at Bridges, describes how his films are helping to bring awareness of 2e kids’ into the mainstream, and gives us a sneak peek at his new film coming out later this year.

About Tom: Thomas Ropelewski has written and directed for both film and television. He wrote and made his feature directorial debut with the Orion Pictures comedy MADHOUSE, starring John Larroquette and Kirstie Alley. Other film credits include LOVERBOY, THE KISS, LOOK WHO’S TALKING NOW and THE NEXT BEST THING. His television work includes serving as writer/executive producer for three seasons of Paramount TV’s action/sci-­‐fi series SEVEN DAYS. Recently, Ropelewski produced and directed the documentary, CHILD OF GIANTS: My Journey with Maynard Dixon and Dorothea Lange. The film has been screened at film festivals, colleges and museums around the world. It has also aired on KCET/San Francisco’s “Truly CA” documentary series. He currently resides in Berkeley, CA and is married to screenwriter Leslie Dixon (MRS. DOUBTFIRE, HAIRSPRAY, THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, LIMITLESS).

Things You'll Learn From This Episode:

• Tom’s personal why for creating documentaries
• How Bridges Academy successfully supports 2e kids
• The story behind Tom’s film, 2e: Twice Exceptional
• The focus of Tom’s follow-up documentary, coming in 2018: 2e2: Teaching the Twice Exceptional
• How Tom’s documentary helped to expand general awareness of 2e / twice-exceptional
• Why it’s critical to use a strengths-based approach when educating 2e kids

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As I’m sure I’ve said on the show before, there’s no amount of money that could convince me to go back and relive my teenage years. But I do genuinely love and have so much empathy for kids in this phase of life and all that it entails, which is why I’m so happy to share today’s conversation on the show.

I had a chance to sit down with renowned parenting and childhood development expert Ellen Gallinsky, who has just published a phenomenal book called The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens. Ellen spent nearly ten years talking with teenagers about what they think about, what they would like to know, how they feel, and perhaps most interestingly, what they would like adults to understand about them. She shares her discoveries in The Breakthrough Years, and through it, offers a paradigm-shifting comprehensive understanding of adolescence.

So in this conversation, we explore some what Ellen shares in her book, including why this phase of life is clouded by so many negative stereotypes and misconceptions, the pivotal brain development and skill acquisition happening during the teen years, the power of "shared solutions" problem-solving in fostering life and executive function skills, and what Ellen learned about teens' need for belonging and how we can support this essential aspect of their development.

About Ellen Galinsky

Ellen Galinsky is President of Families and Work Institute, President of the Work and Family Researchers Network (WFRN), and senior advisor at ACF at HHS. Previous jobs include Chief Science Officer at the Bezos Family Foundation and faculty at Bank Street College. Her life’s work revolves around identifying important societal questions, conducting research to seek answers, and turning the findings into action. Her research is focused on work-life, children’s development, youth voice, child-care, parent-professional relationship, and parental development. She’s the author of Mind in the Making and The Breakthrough Years. She’s also authored 90 books/reports and 360 articles.

Career highlights include serving as President of NAEYC, a fellow of the National Academy of Human Resources, a parent expert on the Mister Rogers Talks with Parents TV series, receiving a Distinguished Achievement Award from Vassar College and the 2022 Lifetime Achievement Award from WFRN. 

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Our “Kid’s POV” special podcast episodes featuring conversations with my son Asher are particularly popular, especially among members of the community who like to co-listen with their own differently-wired children. And from time to time, we get emails from listeners who want to know more about Asher and how he deals with certain situations.

A few months ago, we did a special episode where Asher tackled listener’s questions specifically related to his social life, and in today’s episode, we’re going to go through some other listener questions, covering everything from how Asher handles big emotions and thinks about his diagnoses to how he stays positive when he gets in trouble just for being who he is. And because many listeners are just curious to know more about who Asher is and what he’s interested in, I threw in a couple of personal questions at the end about his favorite books, games, movies, hobbies, and more.

Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination!

Things You'll Learn From This Episode:

• How Asher identifies and/or fits in with other kids his age
• Whether his diagnosis is an important part of how he sees himself
• How Asher self-soothes when feeling sad or scared or other big emotions
• Whether his deep areas of interest are ever an issue in relationships with others
• Whether Asher ever feels down about himself because of challenges that crop up related to his neurodivergence

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As parents, we want more than anything to help our kids thrive, to protect them from pain and harm, and avoid some, or maybe all, of the mistakes we made in our own lives. But what happens when our kids are struggling with really big, difficult, and scary, maybe even life-threatening, stuff? And none of our efforts to “fix” things are making a difference?

That’s the focus of today’s show and I am absolutely thrilled to be in conversation about it with Kristina Kuzmic, a mental health advocate, author, comedien and self-described “cheerleader for her fellow humans.” Kristina has just come out with a powerful new book I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child), in which she writes about her complex journey of parenting a child struggling with mental health and substance abuse. She wrote it to help other struggling parents reject ideas that keep families stuck and, with her trademark authenticity and wisdom, dispel the lies we believe as parents.

This is SUCH a deep, raw, and generous conversation and it is exactly the conversation a parent feeling hopeless and overwhelmed in figuring out how to help their child needs to hear. Truly balm for the soul.

About Kristina Kuzmic

After immigrating to America from Croatia during the war in her homeland, and later facing more challenges (divorce, single parenting, poverty, mental health challenges), Kristina’s goal became clear: to be for others what she needed when she was at her lowest.

In 2011, when Oprah crowned Kristina the winner of Mark Burnett’s reality TV competition “Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star,” Oprah said, “What is that THING…that’s so charming and charismatic and connected to the audience that makes you feel like, ‘I know her, I want to be her, I’m like her’… Kristina has all of that. She is an ‘IT PLUS’ girl… I wanna watch her!”

Since working with Oprah, Kristina has branched out on her own, creating videos about juggling all of life’s challenges, and encouraging her audience to prioritize their mental health. She has quickly become a viral sensation with 2.9 million Facebook followers, over 670,000 Instagram followers, and more than a billion video views.

Kristina’s first book, Hold On But Don’t Hold Still has been translated to seven languages. Her second book, I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child) was released in May 2024.

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When I launched the Tilt Parenting website in April 2016, I was excited to share with the world the Tilt Manifesto, a document outlining my vision for a more positive, more inclusive, and more all-around awesome experience for parents raising differently-wired kids, as well as my ideas for how we can get there together.

Because it’s important to us that the ideas behind the Tilt Manifesto are consumed and shared as broadly as possible, and because I know that the Manifesto is a kind of a long read and one thing we parents of atypical kids don’t necessarily have a lot of lying around is spare time, I decided to dedicate an entire episode of the podcast to the Manifesto. In it, I not only share my personal story of how I shifted my experience raising Asher from one where I felt overwhelmingly frustrated, stressed, and isolated to one full of acceptance, optimism, and possibility, but I lay out 10 ideas for things we can start doing today to shift the parenting paradigm to one that embraces our kids and our experience raising them.

So, if you haven’t had a chance to read the Manifesto yet, or you have read it but could use a fresh burst of inspiration, I invite you to sit back and have a listen, and join me in imagining what could be when we join together to shift the experience for families with differently-wired kids.

Things You'll Learn From This Episode:

• Debbie Reber’s personal story of raising her twice-exceptional son
• Why the current parenting paradigm is broken and outdated, especially for parents with atypical kids
• How though our journey raising our differently-wired children is unique to us and who our children are, we are tied together through shared experiences of parenting outside the lines
• The 10 things parents everywhere can start doing right now to take a lead in shifting the parenting paradigm

Resources Mentioned:

• The TiLT Manifesto (download link for PDF)
• Neurodiversity: What Does it Mean for 2015? by John Elder Robinson (Psychology Today)
• Margaret Webb Life Coach

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In this episode, Debbie and Seth discuss how parents can balance the concepts from the book ‘The Self-Driven Child’ with the challenges of supporting a child with ADHD and executive functioning issues. They emphasize the importance of scaffolding and giving children control over their lives while still providing support. They also discuss the need for parents to do their own inner work and manage their own anxiety in order to effectively support their children. The episode concludes with a discussion on the importance of planning and setting goals for children’s development.

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I’m SOOO excited to share this conversation with you, as it’s been a few months in the making and it’s on a topic I’m personally very interested in and I feel like not enough people are talking about — and that topic is, the intersection of traditional therapeutic modalities and neurodivergence.

Specifically, I wanted to examine how some therapies may not meet the unique needs of neurodivergent individuals and what it means for a therapist to be truly neurodivergent-affirming. 

And I have two wonderful guests to get into it with me — author, parent of neurodivergent children and neurodivergent clinical psychologist Dr. Megan Anna Neff, who’s been on this show twice before, and Dr. Debra Brause, the parent of an autistic ADHDer, and a licensed psychologist and therapist who works from a neurodivergent-affirming stance.

And get into it we do. In this conversation, Megan Anna, Debra, and I explore what some limitations and challenges are for neurodivergent clients working with therapists who don’t understand their neurotypes, how therapeutic approaches can be adapted to provide sensory safety and center the client's experience and agency, why cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) may not be as effective for differently wired people, as well as the potential limitations of standard strategies like mindfulness and visualization as. Most importantly, we'll discuss the qualities to look for in a therapist who is truly neurodivergent affirming —what that means, and how it can make all the difference in a child's therapeutic journey. Megan Anna and Debra shared a lot of resources as well that you can go back to if you are a parent looking to get your child therapy. 

Dr. Megan Anna Neff is the founder of Neurodivergent Insights where she creates education and wellness resources for neurodivergent adults, the co-host of the Divergent Conversations podcast, and the author of Self-Care For Autistic People, which is the book we talked about last time she was on the show. As a late-diagnosed AuDHDer , Dr. Neff applies their lived experiences to their professional focus. They are committed to broadening the mental health field's understanding of autism and ADHD beyond traditional stereotypes. 

Dr. Debra Brause helps couples embrace who their children are, and provides support and guidance through this unique journey. Her professional training includes diagnostic assessment for learning disabilities at the UCLA Office for Students with Disabilities, and clinical work in community mental health settings including The Southern California Counseling Center and the Maple Counseling Center. 

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In this special kid’s POV edition, Asher and I talk about SCREEN TIME. Like many families with children (differently-wired or not), the issue of screen time — how much, what kind, and when — is something we are constantly grappling with. And because like many other differently-wired kids, Asher is really into the games and projects he’s got going on in his virtual world, we’ve struggled to come up with an approach that feels good for Derin and me as parents while also helping Asher learn how to be more responsible for his time and behavior online (and after he shuts down).

In this episode, Asher and I detail our current approach for tracking screen time, which we co-designed in such a way that it will help him learn to track his own time, set intentions for how he will spend his time, and stay emotionally regulated both while online and when it’s time to get off. (That’s the goal anyway!). And if you want to give our approach a try, download our Screen Time Planning Worksheet below!

Things You'll Learn from This Episode:

• The strategy we’re using to help Asher learn to be more responsible for his screen time, as well as support more peaceful transitions from screen to the real world
• Why time warnings might actually create anxiety rather than smooth transitions
• How frequent brain breaks can support healthy screen time habits

Resources Mentioned:

• Download a PDF of Asher’s New and Improved Screen Time Planning Worksheet
• The Productivity Planner from Intelligent Design
• The Pomodoro Technique
• Time Tracker Visual Timer and Clock from Fun and Function

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Today, we're delving into a topic that's both profound and hopeful: the harm of childhood trauma and the incredible power of resilience. Joining me on the show is Dr. Marc D. Hauser, who's here to unravel these complex topics in a way that's accessible and empowering for all parents. Through his groundbreaking work, including his new book Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency, which is what we’re diving into today, Marc brings scientific evidence about childhood trauma to a broader audience and sheds light on the pathways to healing and growth.

In this conversation, we explore what constitutes a traumatic experience and why neurodivergent children may be more vulnerable to their effects, as well as ACES, or Adverse Childhood Experiences, often misunderstood but profoundly influential in shaping a child's journey. Marc helps us understand their significance in the context of resilience.

About Marc Hauser

Marc Hauser is a scientist, educator, author, consultant and public speaker. Hauser’s scientific research, including over 300 published papers and seven books, has focused on how the brain evolves, develops, and is altered by damage and neurodevelopmental disorders, with an emphasis on the processes of learning and decision-making, as well as the impact of traumatic experiences on development. Hauser’s educational and consulting work has focused on the implementation of quantitative, brain-based methods for teachers, clinicians, and doctors working with children who have different disabilities, including especially those that result from a history of traumatic experiences.

Hauser earned a Bachelor of Science degree from Bucknell University, a PhD from UCLA and Post-doctoral fellowships from the University of Michigan, Rockefeller University, and University of California-Davis. From 1992-2011, he was a Professor at Harvard University. In 2013, he founded the company Risk-Eraser, dedicated to providing software and consulting to programs focusing on students in special education.

His most recent book Vulnerable Minds, published in March 2024 by Avery-Penguin-Random House Publishing, New York.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How Vulnerable Minds makes scientific evidence about childhood trauma accessible to a broader audience
• How traumatic experiences are defined
• The impact of trauma on neurodivergent children as well as ways in which these kids are more vulnerable to trauma
• What it means for a school to be trauma-informed in action
• What ACES are and how their assignment and meaning is frequently misinterpreted and misunderstood
• The role of nature and nurture when it comes to whether other not an experience results in trauma or is met with resiliency

Resources mentioned for the Harm of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency

• Dr. Marc D. Hauser’s author website
• Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency by Dr. Marc D. Hauser
• International Children’s Aid Network (iCAN)
• Marc Hauser on X
• Marc Hauser on Instagram
• Marc Hauser on Linkedin
• Marc Hauser on Facebook
• Dr. Vincent Falliti
• Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory
• The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health and Development in Young Children (National Institute of Health Study)
• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD
• What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
• Kelly Mahler on Understanding and Supporting Kids’ Interoception Experience (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Lori Desautels on Shifting Educational Systems Toward Post-Traumatic Growth (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website
• Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels

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Former teacher, reading specialist, teacher and parent educator, and coach, Heidi Nord, joins the show for a conversation about dyslexia.

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Parent coach Zach Morris joins Debbie to answer a listener question about whether or not to relocate from a big city to a less stressful environment and one with access to nature, in order to preemptively support a child's mental health.

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In a world overflowing with information and complexity, critical thinking isn't just a useful skill; it's an essential life raft. From navigating complex interactions to making informed decisions, our children need the ability to think critically now more than ever. But what does that really mean? And how can we as parents nurture this skill in our children? I invited author and Brave Writer founder Julie Bogart back to the show to help us answer these questions and to talk about her new book, Becoming a Critical Thinker: A Workbook to Help Students Think Well in an Age of Disinformation.

In this conversation, we got into so many things. And as you’ll hear, I could have talked to Julie for hours. But for this episode, you can expect to hear Julie’s thoughts on how and why we can foster critical thinking in our children, how considering multiple perspectives and incorporating diverse viewpoints leads to better problem-solving, what parents can do to encourage self-awareness, open-mindedness, and curiosity, and much more.

About Julie Bogart

Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.

Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries. She home educated her five children, who are globe-trotting adults. Today, Julie lives in Cincinnati, Ohio, and can be found sipping a cup of tea while planning her next visit to one of her lifelong-learning kids.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why critical thinking is essential to navigate complex issues and make informed decisions
• How considering multiple perspectives and incorporating diverse viewpoints leads to better problem-solving and policy-making
• How parents can play a crucial role in fostering critical thinking skills in their children by encouraging self-awareness, open-mindedness, and curiosity
• Why traditional models of authority and obedience in parenting are being replaced by a more collaborative and respectful approach that values children's reasoning and autonomy
• How the Becoming a Critical Thinker workbook helps students develop skills such as vetting sources, analyzing data, and considering multiple perspectives
• Why engaging in perspective-taking and tolerance can help neurodivergent kids deconstruct ideas and accept other points of view

Resources mentioned for Helping Kids Become Critical Thinkers

• Julie Bogart’s Brave Writer website
• Julie Bogart’s Blog at Brave Writer
• Brave Writer Writing Blitz
• Brave Writer Podcast
• Becoming a Critical Thinker: A Workbook to Help Students Think Well in an Age of Disinformation by Julie Bogart
• Raising Critical Thinkers: A Parents’ Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age by Julie Bogart
• The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life by Julie Bogart
• Julie Bogart on Instagram
• Julie Bogart on Facebook
• Julie Bogart on Twitter
• Julie Bogart on Moving Through Writing Resistance for Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Herman Kahn
• Noam Chomsky
• The Vow (HBO Documentary series)
• Killing Us Softly documentary (Jean Kilborne)

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Tilt Parenting founder Debbie Reber shares the story behind creating Tilt — why she developed it, what her vision is, and what she hopes Tilt will do in the world.

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Parent coach Margaret Webb joins Debbie to answer a listener question about how to best create a sense of safety in a child's nervous system when they are being aggressive or physical, while also protecting oneself in that moment.

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Have you ever felt paralyzed by all the “stuff” involved in charting a path and advocating for your child? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s put off calling the insurance company or establishing a relationship with a new health care provider because at the time it felt too overwhelming and daunting. But what if there was a resource that provided everything parents and caregivers need to know about navigating all the complex, but critical, aspects of raising a neurodivergent child? How great would that be?

I’ve got some good news for you! Today’s guest, Kelley Coleman, has created that resource — it’s her brand new book called Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child: Your Guide to the Essential Systems, Services, and Supports. Kelley’s book draws upon over a decade of experience, including her own experience parenting a child with multiple disabilities. It’s an honest, relatable, actionable roadmap to the practicalities of parenting a disabled child, featuring personal stories, expert interviews, and the foundational information parents need to know about topics including diagnosis, school, doctors, insurance, financial planning, disability rights, and what life looks like as a parent caregiver.

In this conversation, Kelley, a feature film development executive turned author and advocate for parent caregivers and individuals with disabilities, shares so many insights from her book, including the difference between being a parent and being a caregiver, strategies for navigating Insurance, working with medical teams, and other daunting systems, future care planning, and so much more.

Seriously, Kelley has created SUCH an incredible resource in this book, because she’s researched, and mapped, and made simple and doable the key things and tools parents need to stop wasting unnecessary time, money, and stress as they navigate this journey.

Enjoy the episode, and please share it with others who would benefit from Kelley’s insight and positive approach so that they can spend less time filling out forms, and more time loving their children exactly as they are.

About Kelley Coleman

Kelley Coleman is a feature film development executive turned author and advocate for parent caregivers and individuals with disabilities. Her book Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child: Your Guide to the Essential Systems, Services, and Supports draws upon over a decade of experience, including her own experience parenting a child with multiple disabilities. Kelley lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two boys, and her son’s trusty service dog.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What the difference is between parenting and caregiving and why it’s an important distinction to make
• What some of the most common challenge nondisabled parents face embracing disability in their children
• Why it’s critical that parents and caregivers have access to practical information (and why it’s so hard to find)
• Strategies for navigating Insurance, working with medical teams, and other daunting systems
• Why financial planning is so important and how to get started
• The benefits of connecting with experts and disabled leaders in the disability community

Resources mentioned for Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child

• Kelley Coleman’s website
• Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child: Your Guide to the Essential Systems, Services, and Supports by Kelley Coleman
• Kelley Coleman on Instagram
• Kelley Coleman on Facebook
• Emily Ladau’s website
• Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau
• Activist Emily Ladau on Demystifying Disability (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Judy Heumann (disability rights activist)
• Rebecca Cokley (disability rights activist)
• After Revealing He Couldn’t Read, Former Convict Is Inspiring Others on TikTok — Here’s How (People Magazine article about Oliver James)

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Kelly Hirt, a public school elementary school teacher and the parent of a homeschooled 2e child shares her strategies for "boosting" exceptional children to they can thrive in school and in life.

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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In this solocast, Debbie Reber answers a listener question about how to navigate family vacations and travel with a young child who is tied to routine.

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I’ve been a longtime fan of Kim and Penn Holderness, who I’ve had a parasocial relationship with for years as I love to consume and share their funny music videos, vlogs, and skits. And in more recent years, it’s exciting to see them talking openly and with humor and authenticity about Penn’s ADHD and how together, Kim and Penn navigate their marriage and raising kids in their mixed neurotype household.

All that say, I loved having a chance to sit down with Kim and Penn to talk about their brand new book, out next week, called ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD, which they wrote because they are on a mission to reboot how we think about ADHD by taking us inside their ADHD world, and all highs, lows, and moments in between. I think what I loved about their book, and this conversation, the most is that Kim and Penn are real and open about how beautiful, and yes, messy, it can be to navigate family life as a person with ADHD or as someone married to an ADHDer. And so in today’s conversation, that’s what we hear about — how Penn has learned to hack himself to manage his ADHD-related challenges, the ways in which ADHD has enriched their family life, how Kim has reframed her thinking and approach to support Penn’s executive function challenges and be an “ADHD whisperer” while also taking care of her own emotional and mental well-being.

After listening to this episode, I highly recommend you go to their Instagram or YouTube and check out their content. Their first book together, Everybody Fights, about how couples can fight better and end your arguments feeling closer, more loved, and better understood, came out in 2021. The book we’re talking about today, ADHD is Awesome, comes out April 30.

About Kim and Penn Holderness

Kim and Penn Holderness have been married for sixteen years. For seven of those years, they have chronicled their marriage and their family with funny music videos, vlogs, skits, and a podcast. Their videos have resulted in over a billion views and 4.5 million followers across social media.

Penn and Kim honed their storytelling skills with twenty-five combined years in the TV news business. Today, they own their own company, Holderness Family Productions, where Kim is Chief Executive Officer and Penn is Chief Creative Officer.

As well as creating content for their channels, they also work alongside brands and agencies to shape product launches and marketing campaigns. Their book about improving communication in marriage was released March 30, 2021.

Penn and Kim live in Raleigh, North Carolina, with their children, Lola and Penn Charles, and fluffy dog, Sunny.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How Penn navigated being diagnosed with ADHD in college and how that impacted his understanding of self and identity
• The power of “operation mindset shift” and reframing ADHD traits as strengths
• How Kim came to understand how Penn’s brain wiring impacted his executive functioning
• How Penn has “hacked” himself to manage his ADHD symptoms and challenges
• The power of empathy, comfort, and connection when navigating a mixed neurotypes relationship
• What some of the “upsides” are for friends and family members of people with ADHD

Resources mentioned for How ADHD is Awesome in Love & in Life

• The Holderness Family
• ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD by Kim and Penn Holderness
• The Holderness Family Podcast
• ADHD is Awesome Book Trailer (YouTube)
• Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better At It? by Kim and Penn Holderness
• Dr. Ned Hallowell
• Dr. Ned Hallowell on How Parents Can Best Support Their Children with ADHD (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Dr. Emily King
• Learn with Dr. Emily (podcast)
• ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction - from Childhood Through Adulthood by Dr. Ned Hallowell
• Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood by Dr. Ned Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey

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Tilt Founder Debbie Reber talks about the importance of having a self-care practice, and shares her best strategies for making self-care a regular part of daily life.

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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Executive function coach Seth Perler joins Debbie to answer a listener question about how to help a neurodivergent student prepare for the increased demands and expectations of middle school.

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I’ve done one episode just about self-care for this show — it’s a solocast from five years ago where I shared twelve strategies and ideas for creating a sustainable, doable self-care practice. I’ll have a link to that in the show notes page for this episode.

Today’s episode is about self-care, too, but the focus is on self-care for autistic people, and joining me is return guest Dr. Megan Anna Neff of Neurodivergent Insights. Megan Anna has just published a brand new book called Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask! which she wrote to help autistic people accept themselves, destigmatize autism, find community, and take care of physical and mental health.

I really enjoyed going inside this book because, as we discuss, self-care is so much more than what it appears to be on the surface. Megan Anna considers self-care to be a collective effort that includes the well-being of the community, a framework that really resonated with me. So we talk about that, along with other ideas from Megan Anna’s book, including how internalized ableism can hinder self-care, considerations for navigating self-care for individuals with PDA, and insights into co-regulation, sensory considerations, and how advocacy and accommodations in the workplace can also be forms of self-care.

About Dr. Megan Anna Neff

Dr. Megan Anna Neff (she/they) is a neurodivergent Clinical Psychologist and founder of Neurodivergent Insights where she creates education and wellness resources for neurodivergent adults. Additionally, she is co-host of the Divergent Conversations podcast.

As a late-diagnosed AuDHDer (Autistic ADHD), Dr. Neff applies their lived experiences from a cross-neurotype marriage and parenting neurodivergent children to their professional focus. They are committed to broadening the mental health field's understanding of autism and ADHD beyond traditional stereotypes. This personal-professional blend enriches their work and advocacy within neurodiversity.

Dr. Neff is the author of Self-Care for Autistic People and a forthcoming book on Autistic Burnout. Additionally, she has published in several peer-reviewed journals on topics ranging from neurodivergence, place attachment, relational psychoanalysis, social psychology, and integration of spirituality into psychotherapy.

Passionate about distilling complex research into visually accessible formats, she translates research into visual pixels which you can find on her website, Instagram, and digital workbooks. Additionally, Dr. Neff is passionate about community building and creating digital communities by and for neurodivergent individuals.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why self-care should be approached with self-attunement and an understanding of one's own needs
• Why self-care is a collective effort that includes the well-being of the community
• How internalized ableism can hinder self-care and why it’s important to address it
• Ideas for navigating self-care for individuals with PDA regarding autonomy, co-regulation, and sensory considerations
• Ways to practice self-care in the workplace, including self-disclosure, documentation, and setting realistic expectations

Resources mentioned for Self-Care for Autistic People

• Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s website
• Self-Care For Autistic People by Dr. Megan Anna Neff
• * A special bonus offer for Tilt Parenting community *
• Divergent Conversations Podcast
• Neurodivergent Insights on Instagram
• Neurodivergent Insights on Facebook
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff on LinkedIn
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s Link in Bio
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Sarah Wayland
• Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland

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Marriage and family therapist and author Jeremy Schneider ("Fatherhood in 40-Minute Snapshots") talks about what prevents some dads from being the father they want to be and explains how couples can strengthen their relationship.

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Parent coach Zach Morris joins Debbie to answer a listener question about how to find the balance in supporting a young adult whose depression and anxiety is preventing him from taking steps toward his stated goals.

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As many listeners know, Asher is doing a gap year this year, having graduated from high school last summer. And so I’ve been pretty immersed in this topic, but I’ve been getting so many questions from families who want to know more about navigating gap year. And in fact, I’ve been hearing more and more about the benefits of gap years for ALL students, not only neurodivergent kids, especially since the pandemic. The questions I get the most are what exactly is a gap year? How is a parent to know if their child would benefit from taking a gap year? How should a student be spending their time between high school and college, if that is indeed the next step for them? And where should I start when it comes to finding and vetting the best programs and possibilities for a child taking this year between high school and what comes next?

To explore this topic, I invited Dr. Eric Endlich, a clinical psychologist, founder of Top College Consultants, and expert who guides students with learning differences and mental health challenges through the college application process. I asked Eric how we can determine as parents whether our kid is ready or not for college, what types of gap year experiences for neurodivergent students exist, and how universities perceive a student taking a gap year when considering their application. We also talked about how to find the right program for your student and how to do some voting to make sure it’s the right fit.

As you’ll hear from the episode, Eric has a wealth of knowledge about ways to navigate the sometimes lengthy and unique runway for neurodivergent students. I hope you enjoy this conversation!

About Dr. Eric Endlich

Eric Endlich, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and founder of Top College Consultants, guides students with learning differences and mental health challenges through the college application process. Dr. Endlich has served on the Learning Differences/Neurodiversity and DEI Committees of the Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA), and was honored by IECA with a “Making a Difference” award for contributions such as a database of neurodiversity-friendly colleges. He co-teaches a course, Working with Students with Learning Differences, and co-manages a 16,000-member Facebook group for parents of college-bound neurodivergent students. A national presenter, researcher and professional writer, Dr.Endlich has been interviewed by various media including Forbes, Money magazine, College Confidential and U.S. News & World Report.

Things you'll learn

• The key components when considering a student’s college readiness, including academic capabilities and independence skills
• What types of gap year experiences are possible (from formal programs to DIY)
• How colleges perceive gap years, as well as whether to apply to universities before or during a gap year
• A look at the types of formal gap year programs specifically designed to support neurodivergent students
• Strategies and insights for researching and vetting gap year programs

Resources mentioned

• Top College Consultants
• Top College Consultants' Articles
• Neurodiversity in College (Top College Consultants' Resource)
• Top College Consultants on Facebook
• Young Scholars Academy
• The Dorm (therapeutic treatment center for young adults)
• Parents of College Bound Students with Learning Disabilities, ADHD and ASD (Facebook group)
• Dynamy Gap Year program
• Mansfield Hall (post-graduate program in Connecticut)
• Mitchell College
• Landmark College Summer Program
• Middlebridge School (post-graduate program in Rhode Island)
• SOAR Gap Year program
• Semester Off Program (Massachusetts)
• Franklin Academy (post-graduate program in Connecticut)
• Winston Transitions (non-residential post-graduate program in New York)
• CIP Transition Program at Berkeley (California)

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Author and gifted education advocate Deb Douglas explains the importance of helping gifted learners advocate for themselves, as well as how parents can support them in doing so.

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Parenting Coach Margaret Webb joins Debbie Reber for this Parent Lean-In episode, where they answer a listener question:

Our 9 year old (autism, ADHD, anxiety) struggles with games/ any competition and responds with physical aggression when he loses. We have tried many therapies and medication with no changes in this area. We know this is a nervous system response and possible PDA response, thus accommodate at home by allowing him to win. However he has started to play games at school and is having outbursts as his peers don't accommodate and will win. I'm not sure if our accommodations are inadvertently creating more issues as he is so used to winning and if we should create more opportunities at home for him to lose so he can learn to work through it, however I feel like we've tried that and he still was never able to cope. Would love any ideas!

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If I told you there was a passive intervention that could help your kiddo and your family increase the window of tolerance in the way the world is received, would you believe me? Well today, I’m sharing a conversation on exactly that — it’s called the Safe and Sound Protocol, and it’s essentially a therapeutic listening program designed to support emotional regulation and neuroception. I was first introduced to SSP by a therapist our family was working with and I wanted to know more about how it works, and how it can support kids who have what Dr. Mona Delahooke refers to as a less-sturdy nervous system platform.

I reached out to educator, author, and bodyworker Autum Romano to join me for this conversation, as she is passionate about nervous system regulation as a foundation for transformative whole health. Autum, who is also neurodivergent and twice-exceptional, is known for her intuitive healing approach. She recently collaborated with Dr. Porges on a case study for his upcoming book on the benefits of the Safe and Sound Protocol, and last year published her own childrens’ book called Body Wisdom and the Polyvagal Theory, which introduces polyvagal theory in an easy-to-understand way.

In this conversation, we talk about what neuroception is and why it’s critical to helping our kids develop a felt sense of safety, as well as what the Safe and Sound Protocol actually is. She explains how it essentially re-patterns the brain’s nervous system through listening, creates a safe space for brain and body integration, and leads to impactful, long-lasting results.

This is a fascinating conversation about polyvagal, neuroception, and nervous system support that definitely left me wanting to know, and experience, more. I hope you get a lot out of it.

About Autum Romano

Autum Romano is an educator, author, and bodyworker who’s passionate about nervous system regulation as a foundation for transformative whole health. Autum holds certifications as a Neuromuscular Therapist, Licensed Massage Therapist, Safe and Sound Protocol Provider, Craniosacral Therapist, Reiki Master, and Certified Trauma Informed Care Provider with over 27 years in the field and more than 25,000 massages given. Known for her intuitive healing approach, Autum is also neurodivergent and twice-exceptional. She recently collaborated with Dr. Porges on a case study for his upcoming book on the benefits of the Safe and Sound Protocol.

In collaboration with her son, Autum has authored a children’s book titled Body Wisdom and the Polyvagal Theory. Crafted for pre-readers and individuals with dyslexia, their goal is to democratize the Polyvagal Theory, viewing it as a user manual for the body. They aim to make this valuable knowledge accessible to a diverse and inclusive audience.

Things you'll learn:

• How neuroception works to detect safety or threat without conscious awareness
• The ways in which body work can help individuals understand their neuroception
• What the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) is and how it stimulates the ventral branch of the vagus nerve through music
• The benefits of going through the SSP on our kids’ window of tolerance and nervous system
• How Autum’s book Body Wisdom and the Polyvagal Theory introduces polyvagal theory to kids of all ages

Resources mentioned:

• Autum Romano’s website
• Autum on Instagram
• Autum on Facebook
• Body Wisdom and the Polyvagal Theory by Autum Romano
• Dr. Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory
• Safe and Sound Protocol
• My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem
• Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation
• Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana
• Deb Dana on Befriending Our Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• To receive 10 percent of Autum’s Safe & Sound Protocol Home Program, use the code TILT

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In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Elisheva Schwartz, a dyslexia researcher, mother, wife, intelligence re-definer, and host of The Dyslexia Quest podcast. Elisheva is on a mission to empower the dyslexic community to fully understand both the strengths and the difficulties of the processing style.

If you have a child with learning differences like dyslexia, this is a must-listen-to episode, as Elisheva gets personal and shares her story of her own childhood of struggling to reconcile her passion for learning with repeatedly being told she was learning disabled. Luckily for the rest of us, Elisheva has channeled the pain of her own childhood journey to helping families raising kids with learning differences help their kids feel empowered and confident about who they are, while also knowing how to advocate for them in school. I hope you enjoy our conversation.

 About Elisheva: Elisheva Schwartz is a dyslexia researcher, mother, wife, intelligence re-definer, and podcast host. She’s on a mission to decode the dyslexic mind and empower the dyslexic community to fully understand both the strengths and the difficulties of the processing style.

Both her academic background in Cognitive Science and Education, as well as her own personal experiences with dyslexia, allows Elisheva to draw on a unique blend of both the personal and scientific. Elisheva often writes about dyslexia, cognition, learning, creativity and intelligence, and maintains an occasional column at The Creativity Post.

Additionally, Elisheva often speaks at universities and conferences, with some of her latest speaking engagement including The International Dyslexia Association (Panel) and University of Philadelphia. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Elisheva’s personal why for creating The Dyslexia Quest
• What the biggest roadblocks are for kids with learning differences like dyslexia in a traditional school setting
• What reframing dyslexia to view it through a strengths-based lens looks like
• How parents can help kids feel more positive about their learning differences
• How parents can work with schools to get them the support their child needs
• Elisheva’s advice on how parents can best approach their child’s learning differences and support their child
• What parents can expert in their journey of supporting their kids
• What the gifts of dyslexia are

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The Dyslexia Quest Podcast
• Elisheva on Instagram
• Elisheva on Facebook
• The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain by Brock L. Eide
• Dyslexic Advantage (website)

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I can’t tell you how many parenting books I’ve read, but I can tell you that sometimes when I finish reading a parenting book, I feel a sense of loss or stress or as if I'm somehow behind and need to backtrack to get things going in the right direction. So when I come across a book that feels supportive and accessible, I’m always happy to share it with you. And that is definitely the case with The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, the new book by friend of the pod Dr. Aliza Pressman.

I think what I love so much about Aliza’s work is that she compassionately reminds us that there’s no one “right” way to raise good humans. Instead, in her book she helps parents charge a manageable course for raising good humans that’s in alignment with our own values and our children’s unique temperaments. The five principles outlined in her book that she walks through with us in this conversation – Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair – can be used to get things right often enough, because there’s not getting a perfect score in parenting. Lots of great reminders in this conversation, and the one I appreciated the most is that even though what it takes to raise good humans may sound simple, that doesn't mean that it’s easy, or that it’s not going to feel messy. In fact, it’s most definitely going to feel messy, and that’s okay!

About Dr. Aliza Pressman

Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and the health care providers who care for them. Aliza is an assistant clinical professor in the Department of Pediatrics in the Division of Behavioral and Developmental Health at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital where she is cofounding director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center. Aliza is also the host of the award-winning podcast, Raising Good Humans. She holds a BA from Dartmouth College, an MA in Risk, Resilience, and Prevention from the Department of Human Development at Teacher’s College and her PhD in developmental psychology from Columbia University Graduate School of Arts and Sciences. Aliza also holds a teaching certificate in mindfulness and meditation from The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley. Aliza is the mother of two teenagers.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• The definition of a 'good human' is subjective and varies from family to family
• The five principles of parenting are relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair
• Resilience is an important aspect of parenting, especially for neurodivergent children
• The principles can be applied to various parenting situations, including sibling conflicts
• Parenting is supposed to be messy — there is no one-size-fits-all approach

Resources mentioned for the 5 Principles of Parenting

• Aliza Pressman’s website
• The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans by Dr. Aliza Pressman
• Aliza’s Raising Good Humans Podcast
• Aliza on Instagram
• Mount Sinai Parenting Center
• SeedingsGroup
• W. Thomas Boyce (Orchid Children)

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Math for Middles founder Adrianne Meldrum explores common math challenges for atypical learners, why a multisensory math approach works, and how to help kids struggling with math push through their blocks.

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It’s been a while since we’ve talked about OCD on the show, so when anxiety and OCD expert Natasha Daniels reached out about her new book, Crushing OCD Workbook for Kids, I was excited to get into it all and pulled together a lot of questions ready to make this conversation as helpful as possible for our community.

You may know Natasha from her popular AT Survival Parenting podcast, or some of her other books like Anxiety Sucks: A Teen Survival Guide, How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler, Social Skills Activities for Kids, andIt’s Brave to Be Kind, or from her past visit to this show. She has more than two decades of experience as a child therapist, and combines her clinical expertise with her lived experience in her work, as she’s raising her three kids with anxiety and OCD. You also may have seen her work featured in places like Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, PsychCentral, The Child Mind Institute and The Mighty.

So for today’s conversation, I wanted to do a deep dive into OCD and learn more about what it is, how it manifests, signs of OCD that might be missed by parents, how to tease out when something is OCD versus anxiety or ADHD or other types of neurodivergence, and lastly, how parents can support their children if they have OCD. And of course, Natasha shared some insights and tools from her new Crushing OCD Workbook for Kids, which is truly a powerful, and easy-to-use resource for any child navigating OCD and the challenges that come along with it.

About Natasha Daniels

Natasha Daniels is an anxiety and OCD child therapist with over two decades of experience. She combines both her clinical expertise with her lived experience, raising her own three kids with anxiety and OCD.

She is the author of several books including Anxiety Sucks: A Teen Survival Guide, How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler, Social Skills Activities for Kids, It’s Brave to Be Kind, The Grief Rock, and Crushing OCD Workbook for Kids.

She is the creator of the website AT Parenting Survival, As well as the host of the show AT Parenting Survival Podcast and the Youtube channel, Ask the Child Therapist. Her work has been featured in various places including Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, PsychCentral, The Child Mind Institute and The Mighty.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How OCD begins and manifests in children
• What intrusive thoughts or feelings are and how they can lead to compulsions
• Why OCD is often misdiagnosed as ADHD, anxiety, or self-harm and why it’s important to receive an accurate diagnosis
• What exposure response prevention (ERP) therapy is and how it supports individuals with OCD
• What OCD with support looks like over time with helpful treatment and the development of coping skills
• The importance of early intervention in supporting children with OCD
• How Natasha’s book Crushing OCD Workbook for Kids provides evidence-based tools and strategies to help children understand and manage their OCD

Resources mentioned for Unmasking Autism

• Natasha Daniels’ website
• Crushing OCD Workbook for Kids: 50 Fun Activities to Overcome OCD With CBT and Exposures by Natasha Daniels
• Natasha Daniels Talks about Anxiety and OCD in Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• AT Parenting Podcast
• AT Parenting Survival Online Courses
• AT Parenting survival on Instagram
• AT Parenting survival on Youtube
• Filmmaker Chris Baier Helps Families Get Unstuck from OCD (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• UNSTUCK: An OCD Kids Movie (Available with Spanish, French, Russian, Greek, Portuguese subtitles and an audio description)
• Help for Childhood Anxiety and OCD with Dr. Eli Leibowitz (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Space Treatment website

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Author, coach, and mindfulness expert Michelle Gale (Mindful Parenting in a Messy World) talks about how mindfulness not only supports our children's development, but allows us to parent with more joy and confidence.

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I married a gamer and my 19-year-old is also a gamer, so I’m no stranger to the reality of video games being a significant part of daily life. But where’s the line between healthy gaming and unhealthy gaming? How much gaming is too much? And when does a gaming habit evolve into gaming addiction?

These are some of the questions regarding screen time that I hear from many parents, and they highlight some of the ongoing challenges families face in raising children who can be responsible tech users and whose screen use and gaming doesn’t interfere with their lives in a way that can be harmful or keep them stuck.

So when I learned of the new book How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanojia, I knew I wanted to invite him onto the show to talk about all things gaming with us.

In this conversation, we talked about how we as parents can know whether our child is addicted to video games or not, why screen time limits and restricting gaming time are at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer, and how to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting. We also talked about why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming and how to raise healthy gamers from a young age.

A packed episode that is a must-listen for any parenting whose child interacts with online or video games. Good, good stuff.

About Dr. Alok Kanojia

Dr. Alok Kanojia is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist specializing in the intersection of technology x mental health. Also known as ”Dr. K” to millions of people on the internet, Dr.Kanojia is the cofounder of Healthy Gamer, a mental health platform that serves the digital generation. He has inspired millions of people with online content while overseeing the mental health coaching of thousands of young people. He is widely regarded as the foremost expert on video game addiction and most prominent mental health authority for young people. When he’s offline, he’s usually traveling, gardening, or grilling with his family.

Things you'll learn:

• How to determine if your child has a gaming addiction, and why it's important to trust your instincts
• Why screen time limits and carrot and stick approaches surrounding a child’s gaming is at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer
• Why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming
• The importance of engaging in open and non-judgmental communication with your child about their gaming habits and the impact it has on their life
• How to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting
• Ideas for proactively creating healthy gaming habits with younger children

Resources mentioned:

• Healthy Gamer website
• How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanojia
• Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
• Dr. Devorah Heitner on Parenting Kids Growing Up in Public (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner

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Nutritionist and author of the book "From Mac & Cheese to Veggies, Please" talks about how we can help our children overcome their picky eating habits.

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Montessori is often thought of as an educational philosophy, but my guests for today’s episode, Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike, are committed to bringing Montessori into the home and guiding parents through the principles of Montessori to enhance their children's development and foster respectful relationships with their families and the world.

Over the years, I’ve learned how much alignment there is in the strength-based parenting approach we subscribe to in our community, where we see and respect our children as the unique humans they are, with the core principles of Montessori, which prioritizes meeting our children where they are and being a guide for them as they navigate their childhood.

So I invited Simone and Junnifa to come on the show to talk about how we can apply these Montessori principles to parenting our neurodivergent kids and some of the other concepts they write about in their lovely new book, The Montessori Child: A Parent's Guide to Raising Capable Children with Creative Minds and Compassionate Hearts.

About Simone Davies

Simone Davies is the author of The Montessori Toddler and co-author of The Montessori Baby and The Montessori Child books, comprehensive guides to raising children in a Montessori way.Simone is an AMI Montessori educator based in Amsterdam. She also has a popular blog, instagram and podcast “The Montessori Notebook” and is mother to two young adults. Simone currently runs parent-child Montessori classes in Amsterdam at her school Jacaranda Tree Montessori.

About Junnifa Uzodike

Junnifa Uzodike is an AMI trained Montessori guide for the 0-3, 3-6 and 6-12 levels. She is the co-author of The Montessori Baby and The Montessori Child book with Simone Davies. She is also the founder and head of school at Fruitful Orchard Montessori in Abuja, Nigeria. Since discovering Montessori in 2011, Junnifa has continued to build her knowledge and experience in child development using Montessori principles. She has three children whom she has raised using Montessori principles from birth. Junnifa’s Montessori work includes guiding children at Fruitful Orchard, mentoring teachers and closest to her heart is supporting parents in implementing Montessori from birth. She inspires parents around the world to bring Montessori into their lives by sharing her Montessori journey and offering courses and other resources via her blog.

Things you'll learn:

• What the philosophy of Montessori is and the planes of development
• Why the Montessori approach to parenting can be a good fit for neurodivergent children
• How to raise children who have a strong moral compass
• The role of family agreements to reduce conflict and support healthy family dynamics
• What scaffolding looks like in Montessori when helping children expand their sense of capability and responsibility

Resources mentioned:

• Simone Davies’ website, The Montessori Notebook
• Junnifa Uzodike’s website, Nduoma Montessori
• The Montessori Child: A Parent's Guide to Raising Capable Children with Creative Minds and Compassionate Hearts by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike
• The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being by Simone Davies
• The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike
• The Montessori Notebook on Instagram
• Nduoma Montessori on Instagram
• Simone Davis on Montessori and Differently Wired Children (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• The Power of Empathy and Staying Calm in Difficult Situations (podcast episode with Simone Davies)
• Setting Up Your Home to Support Your Child’s Growth (podcast episode with Simone Davies)

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Author, entrepreneur, and founder of the Good Life Project Jonathan Fields talks about his book "How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom."

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A theme we often touch upon on this show is how the discourse surrounding neurodivergence and the language used when referring to neurodivergence is ever-evolving. I’ve observed on social media and in other spaces how conversations about terminology can be confusing, divisive, alienating, and complicated to navigate. Disability is one of those terms that can be uncomfortable for some people, including parents of neurodivergent kids, to embrace, but my hope is that this conversation will help you have a deeper understanding of what it means to be disabled, how ableism shows up and hurts all members of the disability community, including our kids, and how we can be better allies in the disability

To talk about this, I invited disability rights activist and writer Emily Ladau onto the show. Emily wrote a wonderful book called Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally, and in today’s conversation, we explore some of the core ideas in her book. As always, we covered a lot of ground in this episode, including what it actually means to be disabled, why the euphemism “special needs” is problematic for many people, how ableism is normalized in our society, disability etiquette do’s and dont’s to keep in mind for future interactions, and so much more.

About Emily Ladau

Emily Ladau is a passionate disability rights activist, writer, storyteller, and digital communications consultant whose career began at the age of 10, when she appeared on several episodes of Sesame Street to educate children about her life with a physical disability. Her writing has been published in outlets including The New York Times, CNN, Vice, and HuffPost and her first book, Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally, was published by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House, in September 2021. Emily has spoken before numerous audiences, from the U.S. Department of Education to the United Nations. Central to all of Emily’s work is harnessing the power of storytelling to engage people in learning about disability.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• The difference between models of disability, including the medical, social, and charity model
• Why it’s critical that we recognize and address internalized ableism in order to promote inclusivity
• What intersectionality is and ways disability intersects with other marginalized identities
• What should be considered when looking at accommodations and accessibility when meeting the diverse needs of individuals
• Do’s, don’t’s and best practices when it comes to disability etiquette

Resources mentioned for Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally

• Emily Ladau’s website
• Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau
• The Accessible Stall (Emily’s podcast)
• Words I Wheel By (Emily’s Facebook page)
• Emily on Instagram
• Emily on LinkedIn
• Tyler Fedder (Illustrator)
• D’Arcee Neal
• The Platinum Rule

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Clinical child and family psychologist Dr. Laura Anderson talks about gender noncomformity in children and explores the link between autism and gender dysphoria and gender fluidity.

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I have such a fascinating conversation for you today. A few months ago, I heard about something called the Theory of Positive Disintegration — a theory created by K. Dabrowski, whose name I was familiar with because of his bringing attention to the idea that gifted children have inborn traits known as overexcitabilities – and I was instantly curious. Positive Disintegration – what does that mean exactly? It sounded complicated, and good, but also messy. So I wanted to know more.

That’s when I learned of the work of Dr. Chris Wells, who is the founding president of the Dąbrowski Center and who is dedicated to sharing knowledge and resources about this profound theory and the psychology of giftedness.

I invited Chris on the show to explore the Theory of Positive Disintegration with us, and fortunately for all of us, they said yes. And I will just say upfront — there is a lot that goes into understanding this theory and the implications it has for our differently wired children. So in today’s episode, we are only scratching the surface of this theory. But I am so excited for the opportunity to share this conversation because I believe this fascinating framework has the potential to offer a new perspective on neurodivergence and mental health that is important for families in our community to explore.

One last thing, this episode includes mention of suicidality and suicide attempts, so if those are trigger topics for you, please take care of yourself while listening.

About Chris Wells

Chris Wells, PhD, LSW, is a neurodivergent writer, social worker, and Dąbrowski scholar with a passion for studying and applying the theory of positive disintegration. As the founding president of the Dąbrowski Center and co-host of the Positive Disintegration Podcast, Chris is dedicated to sharing knowledge and resources about this profound theory and the psychology of giftedness.Chris provides specialized consulting services to clinicians and educators internationally, delivering deep insights into positive disintegration and its practical applications. They also offer their unique blend of lived experience and professional expertise as an advocate and speaker for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. Chris lives with their partner and teenage son in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.

Things you'll learn:

• What the Theory of Positive Disintegration is and how it offers an alternative perspective on mental health struggles
• What the five domains of Dabrowski’s Overexcitabilities
• How the connection between overexcitabilities and the autonomic nervous system can provide insights into nervous system regulation
• How the Theory of Positive Disintegration fits in with traditional therapeutic modalities
• How anxiety and depression might be signs of growth and development

Resources mentioned:

• Chris Well’s substack Positive Integration
• The Dabrowski Center
• The Positive Disintegration Podcast
• Dabrowski’s Overexcitabilities
• “Mellow Out,” They Say. If I Only Could: Intensities and Sensitivities of the Young and Bright by Michael Piechowski
• Michael Piechowski
• Adults with Overexciteabilities Facebook Group
• Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults edited by Dr. Susan Daniels and Dr. Michael Piechowski
• Welcome to Positive Disintegration (Positive Disintegration Podcast)
• Depression and Anxiety in Development (Positive Disintegration Podcast)
• Positive Disintegration in Children and Adolescents (Positive Disintegration Podcast)
• Disintegration and Neurodivergence (Positive Disintegration Podcast)

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In this episode of the Tilt Parenting Podcast, I have a powerful and thoughtful conversation with Dr. Barry Prizant, one of the world’s leading authorities on autism. Barry is recognized as an innovator of respectful, person- and family-centered approaches for individuals with autism and neurodevelopmental disabilities. He has more than forty years of experience as a scholar, researcher, and international consultant, and he’s an adjunct professor at Brown University, a certified speech-language pathologist and director of Childhood Communication Services, a private practice.

Barry is also the author of the must-read book Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism, which suggests a major shift in our understanding of autism. Instead of classifying “autistic” behaviors as signs of pathology, he sees them as part of a range of strategies to cope with a world that feels chaotic and overwhelming. As you listen to our conversation, you’ll know exactly why I was so excited to bring Barry onto the show. He is at the forefront of the revolution in helping to change the way neurodiversity is perceived in the world and frankly I’m just so grateful there are people like him in the world doing this critical work. I hope you enjoy the episode.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Barry’s personal story for how he came to be doing this work
• How things can change for autistic kids when we reframe and view their “behavior” through a new lens
• The relationship between trust and emotional regulation
• Barry’s perspective on the use of language such as “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” autism
• Why words like “oppositional” and “noncompliant” in relation to an autistic person’s behavior are usually completely off-mark
• The very real cost of pathologizing autism
• Barry’s powerful ideas for how he is trying to shift thinking around the way autism is perceived
• What should our goals be with regards to the long-term vision for our autistic children?
• The story behind Barry’s book Uniquely Human

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Barry Prizant’s website
• Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry Prizant
• The S.C.E.R.T.S. Model

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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It’s been a little while since Margaret Webb, my absolute favorite parenting coach and the lead parenting coach in the Differently Wired Club, was on the show, but I’m so so so excited to have her one to talk about much anticipated book, Hero’s Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting. Margaret is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former elementary school teacher, wife, and mother of a now 20-year-old autistic son. I’ve personally experienced first-hand how deeply and profoundly Margaret’s approach can support parents raising neurodivergent kids, and so I’m truly thrilled that she’s making her insights and learning available to the rest of in her new book.

While we couldn’t explore all the transformational concepts in Margaret’s new book, I did my best to touch upon some of the biggies, including the power in reframing parenting as a hero’s journey, how incorporating archetypes such as the queen/king, child, warrior, and community builder into our framework can provide valuable perspectives and tools for parenting, why recognizing and addressing shadow forces, such as limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns, can lead to personal growth and more effective parenting. We also discussed why it’s so crucial to understand a child's developmental age in a given moment and how it can help parents tailor their approach and better meet their child's needs.

And honestly, a lot more. This is one of those episodes you’ll probably want to listen to more than once. And then you’ll want to get Margaret’s book. It’s really that good.

About Margaret Webb

Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a now 20-year-old son with special needs.

Things you'll learn:

• Parenting is a hero's journey, and it is important to approach it with curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to learn and grow.
• How using archetypes, such as the queen/king, child, warrior, and community builder can provide valuable perspectives and tools for parenting.
• Recognizing and addressing shadow forces, such as limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns, can lead to personal growth and more effective parenting.
• Understanding a child's developmental age in a given moment can help parents tailor their approach and better meet their child's needs.

Resources mentioned:

• Margaret Webb’s website
• Margaret on Facebook
• Margaret on Instagram
• Hero’s Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting by Margaret Webb
• Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting, with Margaret Webb (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Margaret Webb on What to Do When Grandparents Don’t Understand Our Child (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Margaret Webb on How to Get Through the Most Difficult Moments With Our Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Margaret Webb Shares Tools and Mindsets for Surviving the Summer Break (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Byron Katie’s The Work

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Parenting coach Margaret Webb shares her best strategies for dealing with our children's intense and explosive behavior, both in the moment and in the aftermath.

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If you are parenting a neurodivergent kid, you probably have a lot of experience getting feedback about your child — in IEP meetings, parent teacher conferences, therapists, neuropsychs, school counselors. And, so often this feedback is highlighting what’s hard or challenging and what needs to be improved, which, honestly, takes its toll on us and our kids. It can leave us feeling drained, discouraged, and overwhelmed.

If you relate to this experience in any way, you’re going to appreciate today’s conversation with Dr. Jade Rivera, as she is going to talk with us about a new way she and her team are providing feedback with a completely different, and much more positive and optimistic, focus.

Jade is the Lab Director for the new Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School, which uses the Suite of Tools, developed by twice-exceptional thought leaders Dr. Susan Baum and Dr. Robin Shader, to identify what a child likes, loves, and excels at. The goal of the Lab is to empower students, families, educators, and professionals in creating positive and collaborative learning experiences for children facing challenges in their educational environments.

So today, Jade talks with us about her work and the Strength-Based Assessment Lab — what a strengths-based assessment is and how it’s conducted, what differentiates a strength and a talent, how to encourage our kids to pursue their interests without putting pressure on them to live up to our idea of potential. We also talked about how to get strength-based goals incorporated in IEPs and how to approach meetings when we are trying to shift the focus to our child’s strengths.

About Dr. Jade Rivera

As the Lab Director for the Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School, Dr. Jade Rivera leads the Lab to empower students, families, educators, and professionals in creating positive and collaborative learning experiences for children facing challenges in their educational environments.

With over fifteen years of experience, she has designed and led micro-schools beloved by quirky and sensitive children, uniquely positioning her to provide insights into positive niche construction, strength-based pedagogy, and talent development for neurodivergent children. Her training in Nonviolent Communication and Montessori credential inspire her educational philosophies and practices, including project-based learning, dual-differentiation strategies, and gradeless classrooms.

In 2016, the California Association for the Gifted honored Jade for distinguished service on behalf of gifted and twice-exceptional children. More recently, she was recognized as a “person to watch in the 2e movement” by 2e News. She earned her Ed.D. at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in 2022. She is honored to continue as a professor at the same school, supporting others as they envision a strength-based world for neurodivergent humans.

Things you'll learn:

• How the Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School gathers information from the child, caregivers, and professionals in the child's life to identify strengths, environmental obstacles, and dreams for the child's potential
• The difference between recognizing and supporting a gifted or twice-exceptional child's strengths and talents and placing pressure on them to reach a certain potential
• How parents and educators can incorporate a strengths-based approach in traditional school settings
• Ideas for including strength-based goals in IEPs
• Why it’s important to foster opportunities for a child to demonstrate what they love and what they're good at, even in small ways

Resources mentioned:

• The Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Development
• Jade Rivera on Substack
• Susan Baum
• Robin Schader
• Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education
• Dr. Joseph Renzulli
• Sunnyside Micro-School
• Sandra Kay / Talent Development

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A frank and open conversation with sex education expert Amy Lang about the risks, impact of, and reality of kids' exposure to pornography.

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There are so many parenting styles — attachment, helicopter, positive, peaceful, authoritarian, authoritative, and on and on. And those of us parenting neurodivergent kids know there is no one-size-fits-all approach for navigating the day-to-day, even when our big picture goal is similar — to raise children who grow up to know themselves deeply and are prepared to live self-actualized lives, whatever that may look like for them.

So I really loved learning about the focus of Dr. Emily Edlynn’s work on autonomy-supportive parenting, which she defines as “raising our children to understand their authentic selves, including developing self-respect, self-worth, behaving by values, the ability to self-govern, and feeling a sense of volition, or control over choices and actions.” She explains how to do this in her new book, Autonomy Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, and that’s what we get into in today’s show.

During this conversation, we talk about the ways in which autonomy-supportive parenting nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which are actually the three needs that must be met according to self-determination theory, what “controlling parenting” is and how it can have negative effects on a child's well-being, and how to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a neurodivergent child or a child who is experiencing mental health challenges. We also discussed what keeps parents from adopting autonomy supportive parenting and how to navigate it when one’s partner isn’t on the same page in terms of parenting approach.

About Dr. Emily Edlynn

Dr. Emily Edlynn is a clinical psychologist, author, mother of three, and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. She pens the regular parenting advice column, Ask Your Mom, for Parents.com, has written for national outlets such as Washington Post, Scary Mommy, and Motherly, and has been featured as an expert across parenting articles in outlets such as the New York Times, CNN, and BBC. Emily works with children, teens, and families as the Director of Pediatric Behavioral Medicine at a private practice in Oak Park, IL. She lives in Oak Park with her endlessly supportive partner, three opinionated and charming children, and two rescue dogs. Emily’s new book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children is out now.

Things you'll learn:

• Autonomy supportive parenting (ASP) is a science-based approach that nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness
• What “controlling parenting” is and why it can have negative effects on a child's well-being
• How ASP can be applied to neurodivergent kids by providing external structure and scaffolding while still promoting their sense of agency
• How to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a child with mental health challenges
• What gets in the way of parents embracing ASP
• How to navigate it when one’s partner isn’t on the same page in terms of parenting approach

Resources mentioned:

• Dr, Emily Edlynn’s website
• Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children by Dr. Emily Edlynn
• Emily Edlynn’s free newsletter on Substack
• Emily on Instagram
• Emily on LinkedIn
• All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior
• How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims
• Julie Lythcott-Haims on Helping Differently Wired Kids Launch (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
• Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
• I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards

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NPR Journalist Anya Kamenetz discusses her new book "The Art of Screen Time" as well as her takeaways on the latest research surrounding screen time and differently wired kids.

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Overwhelm, sadness, guilt, stress, and exhaustion are common experiences for parents raising neurodivergent children, and this is especially true when that child is navigating the complex landscape of also living with a serious or chronic illness. Unpredictability, financial strain, impact on the siblings, uncertainty about a child’s prognosis can all present significant challenges and lead to parental burnout.

But according to my guest, Dr. Maureen Peteren, it’s possible for parents of chronically ill children to regain control of their lives and thrive at fulfillment. And she would know, as she has a distinct birds-eye view both as a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, she has spent her career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems and first-hand experience of being a parent of a child with long-term health issues.

I asked Maureen, who is also the author of the book Reclaiming Life: A Guide For Parents of Chronically Ill Children, to talk with us about the ways in which managing chronic illness in children requires parents to navigate overwhelming emotions and advocate for their child's health, even when that advocacy can feel uncomfortable; how maintaining perspective and turning challenges into gifts can help parents cope with the emotional toll of parenting a child with a chronic illness, and the importance of open communication with children and involving siblings in the care process in order to foster understanding and support within the family.

Whether your child has asthma, severe allergies, diabetes, or some other chronic health condition, Maureen’s guidance and coaching will give you practical strategies and reframes for finding more peace in your day-to-day lives.

About Maureen Michele Petersen

Maureen Michele Petersen, MD is an award-winning physician, life coach, author, and mom. As a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, she has spent her career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems. She is an accomplished life coach who helps parents of chronically ill children regain control of their lives and thrive at fulfillment. Maureen is the mother of three amazing children and has first-hand experience with being a parent of a child with long-term health issues.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How to navigate overwhelming emotions that come up due to the unpredictability and uncertainty that accompanies chronic illness in kids
• Strategies for maintaining perspective and turning challenges into gifts
• How to create a culture of open communication with other children / siblings in the care process in order to foster understanding and support within the family
• How to effectively advocate with healthcare providers by staying curious and engaged and being aware of emotions

Resources mentioned for Finding Peace in Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness

• Dr. Maureen Michele’s website
• Maureen on Instagram
• Maureen on Facebook
• Reclaiming Life: A Guide For Parents of Chronically Ill Children by Maureen Michele, MD

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Author Melissa Wardy shares her personal story of discovering her children's anxiety disorder and adapting her life to support who they are.

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We’ve talked a lot about advocating for our children on the show, but today, we are adding the additional consideration of race to the conversation, because we know that families raising differently-wired kids of color experience additional roadblocks when it comes to getting support in all kinds of environments, fostering empowering neurodivergent identities and much more. My guests for this rich conversation are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral, authors of the brand new book Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color.

They came to this big through their lived experience as neurodivergent moms raising neurodivergent kids in this intersection of race, identity, and disability. Jaya is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. And Priya is a play therapist and a parenting coach specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents.

Parenting at the Intersections is a wonderful book, and I did my best to explore some of the concepts they thoughtfully write about, including how parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression, why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected, and the ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates.

About Jaya Ramesh

Jaya Ramesh, MA LMHC, is a psychotherapist in private practice in the greater Seattle area, specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. She also supports organizations in creating an anti-racist culture in the workplace.

About Priya Saaral

Priya Saaral, MSW, LICSW, RPT-S is a neurodivergent mama, a play therapist, and a parenting coach in the Greater Seattle area, specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents by helping them reconnect to their playful spirit amidst personal and structural adversity

Things you'll learn:

• How parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression
• Why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, and how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected
• The ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates.
• How unschooling can be a form of resistance in the context of raising neurodivergent children of color.
• How parents who aren't raising children of color can still benefit from learning about the experiences and challenges faced by these families.
• Why community support is crucial in mitigating the loneliness and providing understanding for parents raising neurodivergent children of color.

Resources mentioned:

• Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color by Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral
• Website for Parenting at the Intersections
• Parenting at the Intersections on Instagram
• Jaya on Instagram
• Priya on Instagram
• Jaya on Linkedin
• Cheryl Poe and Advocating 4Kids
• Akilah Richards on Unschooling and Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards

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Debbie talks with Julie Neale talks about her journey as mother to two differently wired boys and how she's supporting mothers in living an E.P.I.C. life through Mother's Quest.

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Many of our kids spend a LOT of time engaging on screens and with technology, and I don’t know about you, but for me it feels like this is an ever-changing, and fast-changing landscape, and one that can be hard to stay on top of. Whether we’re talking about assistive technology, videos, games, or social media, these forms of media continue to offer new ways of interacting, developing relationships, and even exploring identity, and this has added to the complexity of raising neurodivergent kiddos. So I invited Dr. Meryl Alper, a researcher on the social and cultural implications of communication technologies with a focus on disability, digital media, and children and families’ tech use to join me to talk about how we should be thinking about our kids’ relationship with screens and tech.

I reached out to Meryl after reading her new book, Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age, which explores the often-misunderstood technology practices of young autistic people, as well as what it means to be “social” in a hypermediated society.

So that’s what we get into: the factors that influence a child’s relation to media, how digital media is creating spaces for kids to develop their identities online, and what we – parents, schools – should be doing to better educate kids on safely interacting with online communities and new technologies. We also talked about fandoms and how they have become a part of identity and belonging development, and why every parent needs to spend time understanding how their children are using and consuming media.

If your child, autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, regularly engages with screens and tech, you’ll get a lot out of this episode.

About my guest

Dr. Meryl Alper is an Associate Professor of Communication Studies at Northeastern University, where she researches the social and cultural implications of communication technologies, with a focus on disability, digital media, and children and families’ tech use. Dr. Alper is the author of Digital Youth with Disabilities (MIT Press, 2014) and the award-winning Giving Voice: Mobile Communication, Disability, and Inequality (MIT Press, 2017). Her latest book, Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age (MIT Press, 2023), explores the often-misunderstood technology practices of young people on the autism spectrum, as well as what it means to be “social” in a hypermediated society. 

Dr. Alper also draws on nearly 20 years of professional experience in the children’s media industry as a researcher, strategist, and consultant with organizations such as Sesame Workshop, PBS KIDS, Nickelodeon, and Disney. Prior to joining the faculty at Northeastern, Dr.Alper earned a Ph.D. and M.A. from the Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism at the University of Southern California.She also holds a B.S. in Communication Studies and History from Northwestern University, as well as a certificate in Early Childhood Education from UCLA.

Things you'll learn:

• Why representation in media is crucial for autistic children to develop a sense of identity and belonging
• How technology can provide opportunities for connection and community for autistic children
• Special considerations parents and educators could keep in mind regarding online safety for neurodivergent children
• The importance of advocating for media literacy education that is catered to neurodivergent children
• Why understanding the individual needs and experiences of neurodivergent children is essential when making decisions about their technology use

Resources mentioned:

• Meryl Alper’s website
• Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age by Meryl Alper (via MIT Press website)
• Download / read the Introduction to Kids Across the Spectrum (PDF)
• MIT Press open access version of Kids Across the Spectrum (digital only)
• Meryl Alper on LinkedIn
• Scratch
• Wonder by R.J. Palacio

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You may have heard about the “lost generation of autistic women,” which refers to those women whose diagnoses were missed when they were younger because of the male gender bias in the diagnostic criteria. But that phenomenon doesn’t just apply to autism – the same thing goes for girls and ADHD. There’s actually been a lot written about this in recent years, including a popular 2020 article in The Guardian called The Lost Girls: Chaotic and Curious, Women with ADHD All Have Missed Red Flags That Haunt Us.

It’s true that the stereotype of a kid with ADHD is that energetic, impulsive, disorganized boy. But in girls especially it can also look like perfectionism and having a hard time receiving feedback, forgetfulness, misreading social cues and struggling with friendships, drifting off, and inconsistency in schoolwork. 

In this episode, you’ll hear about why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, what kind of ineffective coping strategies girls with ADHD may to hide their struggles, and what some of the early symptoms are and how to recognize them. We also talked about the challenges of how rejection sensitive dysphoria, which co-occurs in many people with ADHD, may impact girls, and ADHD burnout.

About Dr. Sharon Saline

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life and The ADHD solution card deck specializes in working with children, teens, adults and families living with ADHD, learning disabilities, twice exceptionality and mental health issues. With decades of experience as a clinical psychologist and educator/clinician consultant, she guides educators, clinicians, families and adults towards effective communication, closer connections and greater understanding. She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as ADHD and neurodivergence, executive functioning, the anxiety spectrum, motivation, perfectionism and working with different kinds of learners. 

Things you’ll learn:

• Why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed due to the different ways it presents compared to boys
• How girls with ADHD may exhibit symptoms such as anxiety, depression, forgetfulness, difficulty listening, and problems with social interactions
• Why girls with ADHD may develop ineffective coping strategies to hide their struggles, leading to challenges in school, relationships, and emotional regulation
• Why early diagnosis and support is crucial for girls with ADHD to help them succeed academically, socially, and emotionally
• The ways in which RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) can complicated social struggles for ADHD girls

Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Sharon Saline’s website
• Sharon’s YouTube Channel
• Sharon on Instagram
• Sharon Facebook
• What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids in School and Life by Dr. Sharon Saline
• The ADHD Solution Card Deck: 50 Strategies to Help Kids Learn, Reduce Stress & Improve Family Connections (created by Dr. Sharon Saline)
• Sharon Saline on What Our ADHD Kids Wish We Knew (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff on RSD (Neurodivergent Insights)
• Sharon Saline on RSD (Additude Today)
• Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland on Their Book Is This Autism? (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland
• The Lost Girls: Chaotic and Curious, Women with ADHD All Have Missed Red Flags That Haunt Us (The Guardian)

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Author and life coach Andrea Owen shares her personal story of how she continues to live her best life while accepting and embracing who her differently-wired son is.

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Debbie talks with cultural changemaker, author, and entrepreneur Jess Weiner about how to become successful advocates to best support our differently-wired kids.

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Peter Shankman talks about his new book, Faster Than Normal: Turbocharge Your Focus, Productivity, and Success with the Secrets of the ADHD Brain, and his story of learning how to manage his ADHD and tap into the gifts that come along with the diagnosis.

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I’m happy to share a rich conversation with strategic parenting coach Heather Chauvin about the plight many mothers of neurodivergent kids find themselves in — prioritizing everyone else’s needs over their own and why it’s so critical that we get out of this pattern.

This is a deeply personal topic for Heather. The way she describes it, by living in survival mode as a parent to her three kids, she was robbing herself of joy, robbing her kids of joy by not being a present parent, and robbing her loved ones of fulfilling relationships. And then in 2013, the universe got her attention when Heather was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Going through that unexpected journey pushed Heather to take a deeper stand for change and explore how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams. 

I wanted to bring Heather on the show for this conversation because I hear from so many mothers who are in various states of struggle in their parenting lives — pouring everything into their kids, running on fumes, sacrificing so much, putting incredible pressure on ourselves to do it all and do it well. Yet, as much as we love our kids and want to be their safe place, we can’t do that unless we are being that for ourselves first.

During this conversation, we talked about what dying to be a good mother syndrome is and why so many mothers suffer from it, why trusting yourself can be the best ally in parenting, and how to approach choosing yourself when you think you don’t have time.

Even though this episode is framed for mothers, it’s a good listen for anyone who is a caregiver, especially if you’ve been feeling like your energy is low or frantic, and that has become the norm.

About Heather Chauvin

Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach who helps ‘successful’ women courageously and authentically live, work, and parent on their own terms.

Heather started her career as a social worker helping adults understand children’s behavior. But it wasn’t until 2013 when a stage 4 cancer diagnosis pushed her to take a deeper stand for change, uncovering how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams. She has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur, Real Simple Magazine, Mind Body Green, Google, and more.

When Heather isn’t working, you will find her living out what she teaches which may include kayaking Alaska, snowboarding, hiking, or anything else that challenges what she believes is possible for herself (and inviting her children along the journey). Life is full of opportunities. It’s time to feel alive.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How motherhood and one’s priorities change as our kids get older
• How trusting in yourself and your intuition can be a powerful ally in motherhood
• What “dying to be a good mother syndrome” is and why so many mothers are living in that space
• How Heather helps moms take the first steps toward choosing themselves and what it actually looks like
• How to approach choosing yourself if you don’t think you have the time

Resources mentioned:

• Heather’s website and free gifts
• Dying to Be a Good Mother: How I Dropped the Guilt and Took Control of My Parenting and My Life by Heather Chauvin
• Heather on Instagram
• Heather’s Emotionally Uncomfortable podcast
• The Energetic Time Management Habit Challenge

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Video game researcher Dr. Rachel Kowert talks about the impact of video games in differently-wired kids' lives and busts some myths about the potential harms and benefits of gaming.

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I get a lot of requests for different topics to cover on this show, and bullying is a theme that has come up multiple times. And understandably, since we know that children and teens with learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, are much more likely to experience bullying and social rejection. And we know that being on the receiving end of bullying can be traumatic and have long-lasting negative impacts.

So I reached out to Ginger Whitson, an author, mental health professional, educator, and expert educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health and invited her to join me on the show. Because the concept of bullying evokes such strong feelings and likely a lot of misunderstanding about what even qualifies as bullying, that’s where I asked Ginger to start — what exactly IS bullying? And does the bullying today’s kids and teens experience look and feel different from back when we were in school? I mean, with the addition of technology, it just feels like a completely different ball game. I also asked Ginger to guide us on how we should best respond if our child tells us they’re being bullied, if there are ways we can “bully proof” our kids, and how we can preemptively prepare them so they feel they have a plan for dealing with negative behavior from other kids.

In addition to her important work with children and her books, including Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Aged 5-11 to Cope with Bullying and The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Program Workbook, Ginger, whose work can be found under the name Signe Whitson, is also the C.O.O. of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, an international training program that helps adults turn problem situations into learning opportunities for young people who exhibit challenging behaviors.

About Signe Whitson (Ginger)

Signe Whitson (Ginger) is an author, educator, and mental health professional with 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and families. She is also the C.O.O. of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, an international training program that helps adults turn problem situations into learning opportunities for young people who exhibit challenging behaviors.

Things you'll learn:

• What bullying looks like today, taking into consideration the technology our kids use and other changes society has gone through in past decades
• A definition of bullying and what’s at stake for a child experiencing bullying
• Essential strategies parents should follow if their child has been or is being bullied
• Characteristics or traits that make kids more likely to be bullied
• How to talk with kids who have a heightened sense of rejection about bullying and social rejection
• Ways to bully-proof our kids and resources we can share with them
• How we can all contribute to raising more empathetic kids

Resources mentioned:

• Signe Whitson’s website
• 8 Keys to End Bullying on Facebook
• 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools by Signe Whitson
• The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book for Kids & Tweens: Worksheets, Quizzes, Games, & Skills for Putting the Keys Into Action by Signe Whitson
• How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively by Signe Whitson
• Odd Girl Out, Revised and Updated: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons
• Rosalind Wiseman
• Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman
• Dr. Robyn Silverman Explains How to Talk to Kids About Anything (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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Tia Smith shares her story of raising her twice-exceptional daughter (dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, processing issues, and giftedness) and found a way to chart a path that's allowed her daughter to thrive.

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Does your child ever seem disconnected to their body? Maybe they would completely forget to eat if you didn’t remind them because they never experience hunger, or they can play outdoors for hours in freezing weather but because they’re not really noticing how cold it is, they leave the hat, gloves, and coat at home. Or on the flip side, maybe your child is intensely connected? Maybe they experience such strong internal or external body sensations that it is hard for them to pay attention to anything else or it spikes their anxiety or triggers them into fight or flight mode?

These are just a few examples of extremes and variances in interoception awareness, which is essentially the language of our bodies. And for most neurodivergent kids, interoception is a factor in their ability to hear or feel, pay attention, and ultimately respond to the messages their bodies are sending them at any given time.

I wanted to explore this concept of interoception and differently wired kids more deeply for the show, so I reached out to Kelly Mahler, an occupational therapist who specializes in interoception and is a co-principal investigator in several research projects pertaining to topics such as interoception, self-regulation, trauma, and autism.

Kelly answered my big questions about interoception, including how it relates to sensory processing differences or SPD, why it’s essential that we help our children get to know their bodies’ unique language, and the relationship between ADHD, autism, and interoception. We also talked about what happens in our kids’ brains when they increase their interoceptive awareness, and effective strategies for helping our kids develop in this area.

About Kelly Mahler

Kelly Mahler OTD, OTR/L, earned a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy from Misericordia University, Dallas, PA. She has been an occupational therapist for 20 years, serving school-aged children and adults. Kelly is winner of multiple awards, including the 2020 American Occupational Therapy Association Emerging and Innovative Practice Award & a Mom’s Choice Gold Medal. She is an adjunct faculty member at Elizabethtown College, Elizabethtown, PA as well as at Misericordia University, Dallas, PA. Kelly is a co-principal investigator in several research projects pertaining to topics such as interoception, self-regulation, trauma & autism.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

• What interoception is and how it relates to sensory processing differences
• What the spectrum of interoception awareness is and how extremes may manifest
• The relationship between ADHD, autism, and interoception challenges
• How to support a child with poor interoception awareness to become more tuned in to their body’s internal experience
• What happens in our brains when we start to increase our interoception awareness
• How to help older kids who’ve been on the receiving end of compliance-based strategies to reconnect with and trust their bodies

Resources mentioned:

• Kelly Mahler’s website
• Kelly on Instagram
• Interoception: The 8th Sensory System (Facebook group)

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A conversation with the author of The Gift of Maybe, Allison Carmen, about what happens when parents raising differently-wired kids let go of their need for certainty and embrace the possibility of "maybe."

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So we’ve talked about mindfulness on this show before, and if you’re in my Differently Wired Club, you know that mindfulness meditation is something I explore from time to time but really struggle with implementing in the way I think I’m supposed to. Like, I always feel like I’m doing it wrong or it’s just not for me.

But as my guest today, Hunter Clarke-Fields, explains, there are many accessible ways to practice mindfulness, even for people like me who feel like they can’t, or don’t want to, slow down. And there’s just no disputing the powerful way that mindfulness can support us in helping us be more present, more grounded, more calm, more open, and more curious when navigating all the big, challenging stuff with our neurodivergent kids.

During our conversation, Hunter demonstrates a few mindful techniques to regulate yourself when you need it that are very doable even if you only have 3 minutes — I’ve actually been doing them since we recorded this, and I’m still at it! Hunter also shared strategies to show our kids compassion when they are struggling and introduces us to what has become one of my most favorite positive self-talk phrases — “permission to be human” — as a reminder when we have less than brilliant parenting, or life, moments. She ended the conversation with a beautiful reflection on why it’s important to see our kids for who they are and be willing to be open to the changes that happen every day for them.

About Hunter Clarke-Fields

Hunter Clarke-Fields MSAE, E-RYT (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is a Mindfulness Mentor, Mindful Mama podcast host, mom, global speaker, and number 1 bestselling author of Raising Good Humans, as well as her most recent book, Raising Good Humans Every Day (Aug 1, 2023). Hunter has over 20 years of experience in meditation and yoga practices, and helps moms bring more calm and family cooperation into their daily lives. She is a Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, the creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training, and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide, including a recent trip to Egypt. Hunter presents talks on parenting, and is a certified teacher of Parent Effectiveness Training. In addition, Hunter coaches smart, accomplished, over-stressed individuals on how to cultivate mindfulness. Hunter is the mother of two active daughters, who challenge her every day to hone her craft! Her work has appeared in CNBC Make It, Parade, Motherhood Moment, The Hollywood Digest, along with on ABC Portland, NBC Milwaukee, CBS South Bend, Kansas Public Radio, and many podcasts.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

• What we can learn about our values in moments of shame or discomfort when we don’t show up as the parent we want to be
• How Hunter uses the philosophy of “permission to be human” to show herself compassion and accept mistakes will happen
• What mindfulness is and what being a mindful parent means
• Ways to practice mindfulness that are not traditional meditations
• Strategies for showing our kids compassion when everyone (them, us) is struggling
• Why it’s essential that we see our children as they are in the present moment (and not how they were yesterday)

Resources mentioned:

• Hunter Clarke-Fields’ website Mindful Mama Mentor
• Raising Good Humans Every Day: 50 Simple Ways to Press Pause, Stay Present, and Connect with Your Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields
• Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields
• Raising Good Humans book website
• Mindful Parenting Podcast
• Mindful Mama Mentor on Instagram
• Mindful Mama Mentor on Facebook
• Hunter Clarke-Fields on LinkedIn
• Plum Village Tradition

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Author and changemaker Courtney Macavinta (The Respect Institute) explains why differently-wired kids are especially vulnerable to the “school to prison pipeline,” and how we can make respect the status quo.

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A concept we have explored a lot on this show and in the Tilt community is AGENCY — and always in the context of how to scaffold and support our kids in developing agency or helping them have a bigger sense of control and autonomy in their lives.

But guess what? We — the parents and caregivers in our kids' lives — we need agency too. And in this conversation, we’re going to be exploring how to expand our own sense of agency and personal choice so we can show up more intentionally to our daily lives as parents.

And to talk with us all about this is Dr. Amy Hoyt, a mom of five children, three of whom are differently wired, and a specialist who has been working in the field of trauma for ten years, as a researcher of mass trauma and individual trauma. She is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health platform dedicated to helping women recover from trauma and PTSD, and is an author, podcaster and speaker passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency.

During this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about what agency and choice look like in the context of parenting and how micro choices can help us develop an internal locus of control, which is critical for us to have. Amy also gave us a few short, easy practices we can do that will help us strengthen our sense of agency, as well as reset our nervous system, which for so many of is us in need of support, especially if we tend to operate in a more hypervigilant state due to stressors in our parenting lives.

And because Amy is an expert in trauma, we actually begin our conversion by talking about how residual trauma in adults can be triggered by our parenting journey and how it might show up, especially when we’re raising differently wired kids and we may be differently wired ourselves.

And on that note, a quick trigger warning – in the beginning of this conversation, Amy shares why working in trauma is something she felt called to do, and as part of that, talks about abuse she experienced as a child. So please take care of yourself if that’s a subject that is difficult for you.

About Dr. Amy Hoyt

Dr. Amy Hoyt is a mom of five children, three who are differently abled.She is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health platform dedicated to helping women recover from trauma and cPTSD.

Dr. Hoyt is certified in Traumatic Stress Studies by the Trauma Research Foundation. She has been working in the field of trauma for ten years, as a researcher of mass trauma (genocide and apartheid) and individual trauma. She is an author, podcaster and speaker and is passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency.

Things you'll learn:

• What trauma is and how it can show up in our lives and bodies
• Where to start if you want to get to know and work to heal your own trauma
• What a physiological sigh is and how you can use it to reset your nervous system
• What agency is in the context of parenting, and why it’s so important to have
• What it means to be “in choice” in our parenting lives, and how micro choices can help develop an internal locus of control
• How agency and trauma are connected

Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Amy Hoyt’s website, Mending Trauma
• Mending Trauma on Instagram
• The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health and Development in Young Children (National Institute of Health Study)
• Trauma Research Foundation
• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
• The 12 Steps
• Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation
• Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana
• How Your Nervous System Works and Changes (The Huberman Lab podcast)

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Becca Wertheim, a second-grade teacher at an inclusion school in North Carolina, talks about her experience as a teacher meeting the individual educational needs of a group of students with diverse learning styles, and her insight for parents who are looking for better support and communication with the teachers in their children’s lives.

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Today I’m covering a topic that was suggested by a listener and, as soon as I read her email, I was like, Yes! And also, I can’t believe we haven’t done an episode on this yet!

So… today we’re going to be talking about being a parent with ADHD who is parenting neurodivergent children. Because I know there are endless parenting responsibilities that rely heavily on having solid executive function skills or balancing an inordinate amount of demands and emotional labor, and I know that these same requirements are likely not super strengths for a parent with ADHD.

This is where my guest today, Elaine Taylor-Klaus, found herself — stressed, overwhelmed, and struggling as a mom to three complex kids. When she initially shared with a psychiatrist how badly she was doing and asked if there might be something else going on, she was told, yes, it’s called being a mom.

But Elaine pushed for answers, finally getting a diagnosis of ADHD when she was in her early 40s. That new identification, and the personal development journey it initiated, changed life for Elaine and her family in the best possible way.

This is such a good conversation today, as we get into the many things parents with ADHD typically struggle with, how parents can best support themselves with the emotional and mental demands of parenting, and of course, we touch upon the many strengths of ADHD that can be leveraged to make a neuromixed family work better. I hope you enjoy it!

About Elaine Taylor-Klaus

Elaine Taylor-Klaus is a professional certified coach, parenting coach, writer, speaker and mother in an ADHD family of five. The Co-Founder of ImpactADHD, Elaine provides ADD Parent Support for managing "complex" kids with ADHD and other challenges. ImpactADHD’s coaching and training programs are dedicated to effectively support entire families by helping parents learn how to deal with a child with ADHD. Using online, group and personal coaching, as well as articles, blogs, forums and selected resources – all in an interactive format – ImpactADHD.com teaches parents to develop personalized strategic plans for themselves and their families. Through coaching with Elaine, and public presentations to schools and parent groups, parents are inspired to confidently raise successful, independent children. Elaine coaches parents, and teaches them how to use those skills to communicate more effectively with their kids. Elaine’s husband, David, is also her business partner in their shared company, Touchstone Coaching, which is the parent company for ImpactADHD and DTK Coaching.

Things you'll learn:

• How receiving an ADHD diagnosis positively impacted Elaine’s parenting and family life
• The most common challenges facing parents with ADHD as they navigate parenting in general, and specifically in raising neurodivergent kids
• What helps parents the most in bridging the gap for their children when they are also struggling being a person with ADHD
• The strengths that come with ADHD and how they can be leveraged to support one’s life as a parent

Resources mentioned:

• Impact Parents
• The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and More by Elaine Taylor-Klaus
• Special resources for Tilt Parenting listeners in ImpactParents
• Parenting with Impact Podcast
• Impact ADHD Resources for Parents
• Elaine Taylor-Klaus on LinkedIn
• Diane Demster

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Dr. Ellen Braaten describes slow processing speed in children — what it is and how it shows up—and gives her insights on how parents (and teachers) can best support kids for whom this is a challenge. She also gives us insight into her book, "Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up."

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On this show, we’ve talked about the effect that the pandemic has had on our kids, we’ve talked about the youth mental health crisis, we’ve talked about the complexities of our kids developing their identity online. It’s clear that our kids are growing up in a time with unique challenges and very different from when we were kids and adolescents. So how can we help our children to truly thrive even in the face of so much disruption and uncertainty? My guest today, Stephanie Malia Krauss, is here to answer those questions and more. 

I enjoyed this conversation so much, and especially the thoughtfulness with which Stephanie explores how our kids are experiencing their childhood and what it takes for them to grow up healthy and whole. We explored mental health, hope, resilience, identity, and so much more. This is a must-listen to episode for anyone who has the privilege of being a safe adult in the life of any child, whether you're a parent, a teacher, a coach, amentor. 

I hope you enjoy our conversation.

About Stephanie Malia Krauss

Stephanie Malia Krauss is an educator, social worker, and leading voice on what kids need to thrive in times of crisis and change. She is the author of Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive and Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World. Stephanie’s work and writing have been featured on NPR, PBS, Insider, and more. Stephanie is also a senior fellow with the CERES Institute for Children & Youth at Boston University and Education Northwest.

Things you'll learn:

• An overview of Stephanie’s new book Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live
• Why it's so critical that we consider determinators and demographics when we're thinking about how to support our kids
• What parents and adults in neurodivergent kids' lives need to know when it comes to prioritizing kids’ mental health
• What future forecasting is and how we can use it with our kids to reignite their hope and sense of agency
• What Stephanie defines as purpose and how can help our kids in identifying or capitalizing on a purpose they may already have within them
• How we can be an “identity-safe adult” for the children in our lives

Resources mentioned:

• Stephanie Malia Krauss’ website
• Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive and Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World by Stephanie Malia Krauss
• Whole Child, Whole Life website
• How We Can Prepare Differently Wired Children for an Uncharted Future, with Stephanie Malia Krauss (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World by Stephanie Krauss
• Heather Malin, Stanford University
• Laura Hernandez
• Stephanie on Twitter
• Stephanie on Instagram
• Stephanie on LinkedIn
• Tilt Parenting listeners can get 20% off their copy of Whole Child, Whole Life by going to Corwin.com and using the code SAVE20. For a signed bookplate, they can email proof of purchase to [email protected]

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This is a special shared episode of the Mindful Parenting Podcast, hosted by Hunter Clarke-Fields, on the Tilt Parenting feed. In our hectic parenting lives it can become easy to lose track of what’s important and get bogged down by the stress of it all. Diana Hill, clinical psychologist talks to us about how Acceptance and commitment Therapy (ACT) can help us become more psychologically flexible and how that will help our parenting.

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I’m really happy to be bringing another conversation about PDA to the show, especially as awareness and understanding of this complex profile of autism is growing and more and more parents are looking for resources to navigate this especially challenging parenting journey. Oh, and in case you’re not familiar with PDA, it’s an acronym that technically stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, though many people who identify as PDAers prefer the words persistent desire for autonomy.

My guest for today’s conversation is Casey Ehrlich. In our conversation, Casey sheds light on how to approach raising a child with PDA at different stages, explores the differences between PDA and ODD, considers how burnout manifests in someone with PDA, and explains how a child with a PDA profile might experience a loss of autonomy and equality on a daily basis. Casey also walks us through her framework for supporting families with PDA kids and what it takes to find peace and acceptance in showing up for a PDA child no matter what.

About Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D.

Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. is a coach and educator to parents raising PDA Autistic children and teens and is the founder of At Peace Parents and a podcast by the same name. She is also the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. Casey brings her background in social science, methodology, and research to take an objective and non-judgmental approach to supporting families.She is currently conducting empirical research on Pathological Demand Avoidance with a faculty member at the University of Michigan and is raising two sons, one of whom is PDA Autistic.

Things you'll learn:

• What PDA is, and how it overlaps (if at all) with ODD
• How burnout manifests in someone with a PDA profile and the overlaps between PDA burnout and autistic burnout
• Why people with a PDA profile experience a loss of autonomy and equality when demands are placed on them
• How Casey helps parents raising kids with a PDA profile
• What low-demand parenting actually looks like in practice

Resources mentioned:

• Casey’s website, At Peace Parents
• At Peace Parents on Instagram
• At Peace Parents Podcast
• Free “Clarity” Masterclass
• Paradigm Shift Program
• Dr. Mona Delahooke
• Deconstructing Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Mona Delahooke blog)
• Dr. Dan Siegel
• Tina Payne Bryson
• A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Linda Murphy’s website
• Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy
• Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways
• Dr. Melissa Neff on Pathological Demand Avoidance In Children (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Polyvagal Theory
• Sensory Processing Disorder (Star Institute)
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (It’s Complicated!) (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Amanda Diekman and Low Demand Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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Debbie talks with family therapist and author of the new book "Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle" Neil Brown about the challenges of and strategies for raising differently-wired teens.

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I know it can be incredibly powerful and transformational for parents raising differently wired kids to hear from neurodivergent adults about their lived experience. How did they feel as a child? What was it that helped them navigate feelings of inadequacy they may have internalized or the challenges of being a child who was misunderstood or whose gifts were overlooked? That’s why I’m so happy to share today’s conversation with Gil Gershoni, the founder and creative director of the branding firm Gershoni Creative, the creator of the Dyslexic Design Thinking methodology, and the host of the Dyslexic Design Thinking podcast. Gil’s big goal is to show the world that dyslexic thinkers can open new doors and innovate absolutely anything.

I invited Gil to share his inspiring story of how, as a child, he shifted his relationship with his dyslexia so it became the key to his finding so much success in his creative work, as well as to help listeners better understand the link between dyslexia and creativity. In telling us about his journey and his perspectives on the gifts of neurodivergence, Gil also shares how parents can best support and show up for our dyslexic kids so they have the knowledge and confidence to leverage their unique brains.

Gil is also the creator of a wonderful, empowering initiative called Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project, which invites dyslexics of all ages — from students to professionals — to depict their relationship with dyslexia on postcards using words and image, so I asked him to share with us the why behind that initiative and tell us how it’s helping dyslexics everywhere, especially kids, really lean into who they are.

I really enjoyed having this sit down with Gil, someone who is very much on the frontlines of the paradigm shift we’re all a part of. Whether your child is dyslexic, has another learning disability, or is in any way neurodivergent, I hope this conversation feels supportive, inspirational, and motivating for you.

About Gil Gershoni

Gil Gershoni is the founder and creative director of the branding firm Gershoni Creative. He says that everything he does, he does dyslexic. Gil sees dyslexia as a hyper-ability. His goal is to show the world that dyslexic thinkers can open new doors and innovate anything.

Along with Gershoni Creative, Gil created Dyslexic Design Thinking, a method that helps clients see new perspectives and tell the story of their brand. Gil also hosts Dyslexic Design Thinking, a podcast that explores the link between dyslexia and creativity. Through these outlets, Gil spotlights dyslexic thinkers and ideas.

Things you'll learn:

• What made the difference in Gil’s life as being someone who ultimately embraced and leveraged the gifts of his dyslexic brain
• What Gil’s Dyslexic Design Thinking methodology is, and how it can be used to support creativity, problem solving, and more
• How Gil defines the gifts and “hyperabilities” of the dyslexic brain
• How Gil supports parents powerfully showing up for and advocating for their kids
• How Dear Dyslexia: the Postcard Project has help kids redefine their relationship with their dyslexia
• How parents can help their child to unlock their own potential

Resources mentioned:

• Dyslexic Design Thinking
• Dyslexic Design Thinking podcast
• Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project
• David Flink
• Jonathan Mooney
• 12-Year-Old Asher Talks with Social Movement Leader David Flink (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• LD and ADHD Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Description of Gil’s talk about SXSW

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Author Ann Douglas (Parenting Through the Storm) talks with Debbie about negative stigmas—why they exist, how they're perpetuated, what they do to us and our kids, and most importantly, what we can do to combat them.

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The conversation around twice exceptionality has advanced a lot in the past few years but there still exists substantial resistance and misunderstanding about what it means to be 2e. As my guest today, Julie Skolnick, writes about in her new book Gifted and Distractible, it’s a widely held misconception that intellectual ability and social and emotional success go hand in hand. Which is why kids who are gifted and have simultaneous learning differences like ADHD, Autism, or dyslexia—are often not fully seen and supported by parents, teachers, and themselves.

In a world where these complex learners are often labeled lazy, scattered, attention-seeking, and a problem that can’t be solved, I am totally behind Julie’s mission to passionately guide parents of gifted and distractible children to bring out the best and raise self-confidence in their 2e kids. And in today’s conversation, she shares some of her best insights and ideas about how we can reimagine the world through our child’s unique perspective—so we can help them thrive.

Her book, Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child, literally comes out the day this episode is released! If you’re raising a twice exceptional kid, I highly encourage you to grab a copy after listening to our conversation… Julie really did share all of her experience and insights and hard-won wisdom inside for us to benefit from.

About my guest

Julie F. Rosenbaum Skolnick, M.A., J.D., Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, trains educators and advises professionals on how to bring out the best and raise self-confidence in their 2e students and clients.

A prolific writer and beloved speaker, Julie hosts “The Haystack 2e Adult Membership Group” which welcomes all ‘2e adult needles,’ hosts Let’s Talk 2e! Parent Empowerment Groups, produces virtual conferences, and publishes “Gifted & Distractible,” a free weekly newsletter. Her book, Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child, was published in October 2023. Located in Maryland, USA, Julie’s clients and audience hail from all four corners of the globe.

You'll learn:

• How Julie is helping to expand the understanding of twice exceptionality
• What trends Julie is observing regarding educators’ willingness to explore and provide creative ways to support 2e kids
• Misunderstandings that Julie addresses over and over again about the twice exceptional population and why supporting 2e kids has to start with deeply understanding them
• The biggest challenges parents raising 2e kids face
• What we should be thinking about when trying to identify therapists or modalities that might support our 2e kids

Resources mentioned:

• Julie Skolnick’s website With Understanding Comes Calm
• Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child by Julie Skolnick
• SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted)
• Ken Dabrowsky’s Overexcitabilities
• Fight Between ‘Gifted’ and ‘Advanced’ Programs Exposes Deeper Problems (Washington Post article)
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff, Neurodivergent Insights
• Julie on Facebook
• Julie on Instagram
• Julie on Twitter
• Julie on LinkedIn
• Julie’s YouTube channel
• GiftedandDistractible.com
• Julie Skolnick on Supporting 2e Kids in Traditional Schools (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

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Child psychologist Dr. Abigail Gewirtz talks about her book, When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, and provides insights on talking to kids at Covid-19, racism, and more.

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I’m going to confess something with you right here and now. When it comes to having important conversations with my kid, about tricky topics, big issues…things where the stakes feel very high, I often feel like I blow it. I get really anxious, if the subject comes up without any advance warning I fumble over my words, I very often say the exact wrong thing and then feel stressed about what I wish I’d said and then I often awkwardly force a do-over. You get the point. Am I the only one?

Okay, so if you are like me and you struggle with knowing what to say anything that feels big and important and potentially tricky, you are going to love this episode.

Because today I’m sharing a conversation with Dr. Robyn Silverman about her new book How to Talk to Kids About Anything: Tips, Scripts, Stories, and Steps to Make Even the Toughest Conversations Easier. And when Robyn says anything, she means anything.

Today we are talking about how to have conversations with our kids, no matter their age, about things like death, sex, diversity, depression, suicide, big feelings, and more, and even more, why it matters so much that we are safe, informed adults to talk about these issues with our kids, and how a little preparation goes a long way in terms of helping us feel regulated and calm. We want our kids to know that we’re always there to talk with them about anything and that we are their top trusted and safe source of information, no matter the topic.

About my guest

Known as the “Conversation Doc,” Dr.Robyn Silverman is a child and teen development specialist and host of the popular podcast, How to Talk to Kids About Anything, as well as the book of the same name. She is a cofounder of the Powerful Words Character System, which gives educators the talking points they need to help children become kind, responsible citizens of the world. Dr. Robyn has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show and Nightline and has been quoted on CNN and in the New York Times, Washington Post, and many other publications.

You'll learn:

• The impetus behind Robyn’s new book How to Talk to Kids About Anything and why she decided to include so many expert voices in it
• The biggest roadblocks that get in the way of parents talking about difficult or uncomfortable subjects with their kids
• How to customize “scripts” for your individual family’s needs
• Common mistakes parents make when broaching tricky topics
• Advice for parenting kids who are struggling with emotional and mental health challenges
• An example of how a conversation about a difficult topic might change over time and why it’s important that it is a continuous conversation 

Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Robyn Silverman’s website
• How to Talk to Kids about Anything: Tips, Scripts, Stories, and Steps to Make Even the Toughest Conversations Easier by Dr. Robyn Silverman
• How to Talk to Kids About Anything (Dr. Robyn’s podcast)
• Dr. Robyn Silverman on Nurturing Our Kids’ Character and Character Strengths (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Dr. Robyn on Facebook
• Dr. Robyn in Instagram
• Dr. Robyn on X
• The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Kids Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson
• Julie Lythcott-Haims
• Jessica Lahey

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A conversation with the coauthor of "Child Decoded," Dr. Robyn McEvoy, about how parents can forge a viable path to move forward and best focus their energy in raising their exceptional child.

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I’ve got a question for you: What’s your relationship with puberty? You know, that inescapable part of every human’s experience, marked by body changes, emotional swings, awkward stages, and more? Personally, I don’t look back on my journey through puberty with whole lotta fondness.

Yet, being that it IS part of every child’s development process, puberty is something that we as parents and actually any adult supporting children are going to want to deeply understand so we can help our kids navigate it in a way that preserves their sense of self-worth, body confidence, and emotional, physical, and mental safety.

And, what I’ve learned from my guests for today’s show, “modern” puberty, is not the same puberty you and I went through however many years ago.

Cara and Vanessa wrote all about it in their wonderful book, This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, which explains the science behind all that’s happening at this stage in a kid's lives AND also provides insights into how to talk to kids about it. Because, honestly, even talking about all things puberty with our kids can feel super awkward and uncomfortable for them us. But luckily, Cara and Vanessa are here to hold our hand through it all, and provide us with the facts, language, and strategies for helping us navigate these conversations and this phase of life with confidence and calm.

About Cara Natterson

Cara Natterson, MD, is a pediatrician, consultant, and New York Times bestselling author. She’s also the co-founder and CEO of Order of Magnitude, a company dedicated to flipping puberty-positive. Cara’s books focus largely on puberty — some written for the kids going through it, and others for the adults helping them along the way. Her list of titles includes The Care and Keeping of You series with more than 7 million copies in print. While this reach is incredible, the written word is only one way to transform the experience of adolescence.

About Vanessa Kroll Bennett

Vanessa Kroll Bennett is a puberty educator and writer, a podcaster, and entrepreneur who helps adults navigate uncertainty while they support the kids they love. Vanessa is the co-host of The Puberty Podcast which is exactly what it sounds like and the founder of Dynamo Girl, a company focused on building kids’ self-esteem through sports, puberty education and parent workshops. Vanessa consults with organizations, large and small, on how to authentically engage children in their communities. As the host of Conversations on Parenting and Beyond and the first Scholar in Residence at Wasserman Center for Family Life at the JCC Manhattan, Vanessa explores all aspects of growing families. She writes regularly in her Uncertain Parenting Newsletter about the messy process of raising tweens and teens, including her own four children ages 11 to 19.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• How the way today’s kids experience puberty, aka, “modern puberty,” is different from what their parents experienced
• Why talking about puberty is about more than just body changes and sex, and what other important topics need to be part of the conversation
• Some of the words that Cara and Vanessa introduce in their book as part of the new vocabulary to use in your conversations with your kids
• Advice for parents whose kids might be really reluctant to engage in dialogue about the changes that accompany puberty
• How parents can regulate themselves before having difficult conversations with their kids

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Creativity expert Kathryn Haydon talks about the correlation between creativity and neurodiversity, especially giftedness, as well as her vision for supporting differently-wired kids using a "strengths-based" approach.

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Welcome to this week’s show, where I’m so excited to be talking, bringing back to the show my friend, colleague, and my most trusted mentor when it comes to all things kids and tech and screens, Dr. Devorah Heitner.

Today, we’re going to be talking about such a pressing consideration for anyone raising a kid these days — what it means for today’s generation of kids to grow up with very public lives and coming of age in a digital world where so many aspects of their lives are online and available for public consumption, not to mention that much of their important work of identity formation is being shaped by the media and technology they interact with.

Devorah gets into all of this in her brand new and essential book for any parent, Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World. For this conversation, I asked Devorah to talk us through what I see as some of the more pressing issues for parents like us, including how to balance a child’s right to privacy in their texts and online lives with valid concerns about online influences and engagement when that child is dealing with anxiety, depression or other mental health disorder, the impact of social media on kids who may already be struggling to fit in and find their people, and how many homework and grading apps used by schools may actually be undermining our kids development of executive function skills and creating additional stress for parents.

About my guest

Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World and Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. You can follow her on Substack at Devorah Heitner dot Substack dot com and on Instagram @devorahheitnerphd.

Things you'll learn

• How to navigate the transition from being highly involved in a children’s tech life to respecting their privacy
• Why violating our kids’ trust by reading their texts will drive them further apart from us
• What to track or monitor when your child is dealing with anxiety, depression, or other mental health disorders
• How engaging in social media may impact kids who are struggling to fit in and find their people
• Why social media can act as an intensifier for whatever kids are experiencing and how it causes a dip in self-esteem
• What sharenting is and how to navigate permissions, cleaning up past shares, and more
• Why apps like ClassDojo are particularly challenging for families with differently-wired students
• How grading apps often work against differently wired students

Resources mentioned

• Devorah Heitner’s website
• Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
• Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
• Deborah Heitner’s Substack: Mentoring Kids in a Connected World
• Phonewise Boot Camp
• The Big Tech Reset Masterclass with Devorah Heitner (Tilt Parenting-partnered event)
• Devorah’s TEDx Talk, The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native
• At Your Wit’s End with a Screen-Obsessed Kid? Read This (Devorah Heitner’s house visit on NPR Lifekit)
• Devorah on Twitter
• Devorah on Instagram
• Dr. Devorah Heitner on Online Safety, Internet “Rabbit Holes,” and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Dr. Devorah Heitner on the Pros & Cons of “Managing” Our Kids’ Screen Time (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

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A follow-up conversation with Debbie's husband Derin in which he shares how he got unstuck in his thinking about Asher, as well as how the two of them fostered a close bond of mutual love and understanding.

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Debbie and her husband Derin have an honest, open, and vulnerable conversation about their (up and down) journey as a couple navigating parenting a differently-wired child.

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Dr. Lori Desautels is coming back to the show to talk about her new book Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth, which stems from her passion of applying the social and relational neurosciences to education and integrating her applied research into classroom procedures and transitions prepping the nervous system for learning and felt safety. 

An Assistant Professor at Butler University, K-12 educator, and researcher, Lori joined me on the podcast last year to talk about her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, and that conversation has really just stayed with me, so I loved having this opportunity to go deep with her about intentional neuroplasticity. 

In this conversation, we discussed some of the research about neuroplasticity not only in kids but in adults, and how we can use it and what we know about the nervous system to help us co-regulate at home and at school and truly meet our children where they are. 

Dr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. Her passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler. The Applied Educational Neuroscience Certification, created by Lori in 2016, is specifically designed to meet the needs of educators, counselors, clinicians and administrators who work beside children and adolescents who have, and are, experiencing adversity and trauma. The certification is now global and has reached hundreds of educators. 

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What this school year has shown us about the impact COVID has had on students and educators
• What the research says about neuroplasticity in adults and how we can use it in co-regulating with children and students
• What “building a nest” for our kids means, and and why it’s the best place to start when tending to our kids nervous systems
• How Lori’s approach has been received by educators
• What’s possible in classrooms when teachers apply Lori’s methodology to nervous system management

Resources mentioned

• Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website
• Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels
• Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline by Dr. Lori Desautels
• Eyes Are Never Quiet: Listening Beneath the Behaviors of Our Most Troubled Students by Dr. Lori Desautels
• Resources from Revelations

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I'm sitting down with sexuality educator and parenting expert Amy Lang for a very frank and open conversation* about sex ed for children—what they need to know, when they need to know it, how to talk about it, and much much more. Amy is passionate about the fact that at its core, sex education is a health and safety issue for our kids. She explains why as our children’s parents and caregivers, it is up to us to initiate and continue to have conversations surrounding sexuality.

Amy Lang is committed to changing and challenging cultural beliefs about children and sexuality. She does this by teaching adults the best and most effective ways to talk, learn, and think about the birds and bees, and provides research-based, high quality keynotes, workshops, webinars, books, and other tools so adults can be true champions for the kids they care for and love. Her website is Birds + Bees + Kids. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• When parents should have “the talk” about sex (and why the “child-focused” approach of waiting until they ask is wrong)
• The importance of parents reflecting on their own relationship with sex education before talking with their kids
• What children should know by what age
• How to talk to kids who are reluctant to engage in any conversation having to do with sex
• Why differently-wired kids are especially vulnerable / need additional sex education than typically developing kids

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Birds + Bees + Kids (Amy’s website)
• Dating Smarts: What Every Teen Needs to Know to Date, Relate, or Wait by Amy Lang
• Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids: A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships by Amy Lang
• It’s Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends by Robie Harris
• It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie Harris

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My guests today are on a mission to show parents that there are different ways of approaching autism beyond what they’re told in doctors or therapists offices. Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards, co-authors of the book I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World, are making it really clear that there is no one size fits all for any families and that there is so much to learn from just listening more. 

Meghan Ashburn is a continuous learner, educational consultant, parent mentor, and co-author of I Will Die On This Hill. She's passionate about helping schools create more inclusive, accessible environments. Her online book club has over 10K members, and releases book recommendation lists on autism and neurodiversity. Meghan advocates for communication rights and inclusion at the local, state, and national level. She sits on her school district's Special Education Advisory Committee (SEAC) and is a recent graduate of Virginia's Partners in Policymaking.

Jules Edwards is a neurodivergent Anishinaabe writer, gardener, accountant, and disability justice advocate. She is the parent of neurodivergent Afro Indigenous people, and care provider to many neurodivergent children throughout the years. Jules is passionate about building community and works to improve child safety and disability policy.

Current roles include: care work of disabled youth, co-founder of Minnesota Autistic Alliance, board member for the Minnesota Ombudsman for American Indian Families, board member of The Arc Minnesota. She serves as the elected chairperson of the Minnesota Autism Council, a workgroup of the Senate Human Services Reform Finance and Policy Committee.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What disability justice is
• Ways that allistic and autistic parents raising autistic children can work together toward our common goals for our kids
• The harms of a continual pursuit for “normal” in ways that don’t respect or embrace our kids’ neurodivergence
• Why self-determination should be the goal over “independence”
• Ways that allistic parents may be perpetuating ableism without realizing it
• What an “autism moon” is and why ideal for families who are navigating a new diagnosis of autism

 Resources mentioned

• Meghan Ashburn’s website Not an Autism Mom
• Meghan Ashburn’s Au-Some Book Club
• I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards
• The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a 13-Year-Old Boy with Autism by Naoki Higashida

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This week is a continuation of last week’s episode with executive functioning coach Seth Perler, which was so packed full of information (and also so long) that I had to break it up into two separate episodes, which I’m now referring to as a “masterclass” in executive functioning. 

In last week’s episode, Seth shared his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In today’s episode, Seth is going to get into the nitty gritty about specific strategies he uses to address different executive functioning challenges that show up in school and in life. 

Seth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• What “Frankenstudy” is, and how to know where to focus your energies so you can create a “domino effect” with your child’s fledgling executive functioning skills
• How to best use “learning planners” to learn how to think / talk through their plan (and what we’re doing wrong)
• The benefits of monthly planners versus daily or weekly planners
• Helping kids identify the “MIT” – most important thing – each day
• The importance of creating a sacred study space for a child
• How to optimize an internet browser to make it easy with bookmark bars (and have tabs automatically open, including calendar, grade tab, email)
• Why it’s important to get kids to start checking grades weekly (Seth recommends Sunday nights)
• The importance of helping a child create clearly identified routines (for leaving house, doing daily plan, doing homework, etc.)
• How getting visual with kids benefits them in developing their executive functioning skills
• Why separate digital timers need to be a part of a child’s life so they can learn to calibrate time, as well as get started and do short bursts of work
• Creating a weekly overhaul of systems
• The important of kids “getting into the mode” for studying, etc: organize their space, make their plan, and executive

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Seth Perler’s website and blog
• A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 1 (podcast episode)
• A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)
• Seth’s Executive Functioning Assessment
• Seth Perler’s YouTube Channel

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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Today I’m welcoming back Dayna Abraham to the show to discuss her latest book, Calm the Chaos: A Fail-Proof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids. I really resonate with Dayna’s work because we both are committed to empowering families, especially those who are deep in survival mode, and in her new book, she shares the framework for her signature “calm the chaos” framework which is designed to give parents a doable plan for navigating challenging situations and finding genuine calm in the midst of the storm. In our conversation today, Dayan gives us the highlights of this framework and gives us some strategies to start employing right away.

I’m betting most of you are familiar with Dayna Abraham, but just in case, here’s a bit about her. Dayna is the bestselling author of The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day and Sensory Processing 101. She is on a mission to create a more accepting world, one challenging kid at a time. As a National Board Certified educator, parent of three neurodivergent children, and an ADHD adult herself, Dayna brings a unique and out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in the modern world. Through Calm the Chaos, she has helped millions of desperate parents around the world find peace and meet their children where they’re at when conventional parenting tools have failed them.

About Dayna Abraham

Dayna Abraham, bestselling author of The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day and Sensory Processing 101, is on a mission to create a more accepting world, one challenging kid at a time.

As a National Board Certified educator, parent of three neurodivergent children, and an ADHD adult herself, Dayna brings a unique and out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in the modern world.

Through her compassionate framework, Calm the Chaos, she has helped millions of desperate parents around the world, find peace and meet their children where they’re at when conventional parenting tools have failed them.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What the five stages of Dayna’s Calm the Chaos framework are and how they work together
• Why every stage of the framework includes these four elements: You, Connect, Understand and Empower
• What emotional anchors are and how they can help parents regulate themselves
• Why getting back to emotional safety and nervous system regulation is so important and what it looks like in action
• Ideas for finding calm in the midst of challenging situations

Resources mentioned for:

• Calm the Chaos: A Fail-Proof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids by Dayna Abraham
• Calm the Chaos Podcast
• Lemon Lime Adventures
• Calm the Chaos on Facebook
• Calm the Chaos on Instagram

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In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I’m bringing back a previous guest, executive functioning coach Seth Perler, for a two-part series in which Seth shares with us the exact approach he uses with students he works with when helping them foster their fledgling executive functioning skills. 

I first had Seth on the show last fall, where he gave us an introduction to executive functioning, but we didn’t get to the more practical strategies that I know so many of us are looking for. So I asked Seth to come back on, and that conversation turned into an hour-and-a-half long sharing by Seth of truly valuable tips and strategies and insights. Because Seth shares so very much over the course of these ninety or so minutes, I wanted to split our conversation into two parts. So this episode is part one of what I’m now referring to as a “Masterclass in Executive Functioning.” In this episode, Seth shares with us his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In part 2 next week, Seth will go in-depth into his specific strategies surrounding building these skills in school and in life. 

Seth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Seth’s definition of executive functioning framed so it helps people apply the principles to help kids
• A step-by-step breakdown of exactly how Seth works with families
• Why our relationship with our child is the number one thing to be preserved when doing this work
• The importance of parents doing their own personal work / self-care during this process
• Why kids “can’t do what we’re asking them to do because they can’t, not because they won’t,” so we need to back up and scaffold from where they’re at
• The role of mindfulness, mindset, and motivation
• Why symptoms are more important than labels
• Why it’s critical to understand the role of emotional regulation in executive functioning
• How we as parents can co-regulate our emotions with our child
• Why we want to focus on 3 positives for every 1 negative

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Seth Perler’s website
• A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)
• Seth’s Executive Functioning Assessment
• Dr. Gail Saltz Talks About the Power of Different (podcast episode)
• Carol Dweck and Mindset

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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Today I’m bringing you an episode that covers a new topic for this show — how to find the right program when you realize your child is in need of more substantial therapeutic support or intervention. I’ve wanted to cover this topic for a long time because I know how overwhelming it can be if this is a road your family is going down. Sue Scheff has decades of experience in this field, personal and professional, and I’m grateful she joined me to shed light on the ins and outs of navigating different therapeutic programs. 

With Sue’s fascinating background, we could have explored many different topics for this episode, but what I wanted to do in this conversation is to have Sue give us an overview of the options available to parents whose kids are struggling with challenging or dangerous behaviors and are in need of more intensive supports. Sue explains the difference between therapeutic boarding schools, residential treatment centers and wilderness programs, what the signals are that a child would benefit from these types of supports, how to identify the best fit program, the possibilities for having programs covered by insurance, and much more. 

About Sue Scheff

Founder and President of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts Inc. (P.U.R.E.™), Sue Scheff has been leveraging her personal experiences to help others through her organization since 2001. 

After being stalked, harassed, bullied and slandered online – in 2006, Scheff won a landmark case for internet defamation with an $11.3M jury verdict. Since then, she’s been an advocate for cyberbullying prevention and promoting the importance of online reputation. 

She has three published books, Wit’s End (HCI 2007), Google Bomb (HCI 2009) with a foreword by Michael Fertik, and her latest, Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks 2017) with a foreword by Monica Lewinsky.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• The differences between therapeutic boarding schools, residential treatment centers, and wilderness programs
• What the signs are that a child may be in need of more intensive intervention or a therapeutic program
• How to go about identifying and vetting programs that are an ideal fit for a child’s individual challenges
• The possibilities that exist for having the high cost of therapeutic programs be partially (or fully) covered by insurance
• Whether or not parents should be concerned about placing their teens in programs where their peer group may be dealing with more problematic behavior and negatively influence a teen
• Why any therapeutic program has to involve the whole family in order for it to be effective 

Resources mentioned for 

• Sue Scheff’s website
• Parents’ Universal Resource Experts Inc. (P.U.R.E.™)
• Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen by Sue Scheff
• Google Bomb: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate by Sue Scheff
• Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate by Sue Scheff
• Sue Scheff on Facebook

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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In this episode, I talk with Jill Emmelhainz, the mother of a 14-year-old differently-wired daughter who struggles with severe anxiety. Over the years, Jill and her husband noticed their daughter Anna’s anxiety was greatly reduced when she spent time outdoors and in nature, so this past year, they decided to try something radical and fully immerse themselves in nature for extended periods of time to see what would happen. For six weeks in fall 2015 and five weeks in spring 2016, Jill and her daughter have hiked the Appalachian Trail in the eastern U.S. The result? During those weeks in nature, Anna’s anxiety all but disappeared, and she’s found ways to bring the learnings from those experiences back into her day-to-day life in a helpful way. JIll and her daughter’s story is fascinating…we have a sense you’ll think so, too!

Jill Emmelhainz says: “I have had the privilege of raising and homeschooling our seven children. Travel and creativity have always been part of our family life. Now that we have only one child still at home, she and I enjoy outdoor adventures as a way to help her cope with significant life challenges.”

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• How trying something completely new and radical can sometimes have unexpected, positive consequences
• The power of having shared, powerful experiences with a child (especially one who’s a teenager)
• Suggestions for getting kids more excited about and engaged in outdoor time and nature

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv
• Jill’s blog, The Big Epic

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I’m bringing back school counselor, therapist, and author Phyllis Fagell to talk about her new book Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times which she wrote as a response to what she is seeing in her work with children in the aftermath of COVID. 

During this interview, we talked about why this generation of tweens is more insecure, vulnerable, and eager to please perhaps than past generations, effective strategies for helping kids who might be rigid thinkers become more flexible, and how parents can coach their kids around navigating, forming and maintaining healthy friendships. 

Phyllis L. Fagell, LCPC is the school counselor at Sheridan School in Washington, DC, a therapist who works with children and teens in private practice, and an author and journalist. She is the author of Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond – and How Parents Can Help and her most recent book, Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times. 

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why this generation of tweens is more insecure, vulnerable, and eager to please than past generations
• How to help kids who might be rigid thinkers to become more flexible
• What Phyllis is seeing in how kids are connecting and finding a sense of belonging in the post-pandemic era
• How parents can coach their kids around navigating, forming, and maintaining healthy friendships
• What the “magic question is” and how to use it to support our kids in developing empathy 
• How to navigate situations where our kids are seeking support from sources that may not be our first choice
• Why it’s important to respect how our kids want to present their neurodiversity and other parts of their identities to the world

 Resources mentioned 

• Phyllis Fagell’s website
• Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times by Phylls Fagell
• Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond — and How Parents Can Help by Phyllis Fagell
• Phyllis Fagell on Twitter
• Phyllis Fagell on Instagram
• Phyllis Fagell on Facebook
• Phyllis Fagell on LinkedIn

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Angela Santomero is also an author, and one I had the chance to work with very closely over the past two years, as she asked me to be her co-author for her new book Preschool Clues: Raising Smart, Inspired, and Engaged Kids in a Screen-Filled World, which comes out one week from today! Preschool Clues shares the secret sauce behind Angela’s shows’ powerful, transformative results in the form of eleven research-based, foundational “clues” to ensure that preschoolers flourish academically, socially, and emotionally during this critical time.

In this episode, Angela and I talk about the book—what it’s about, who it’s for, and how it supports parents in parenting their preschoolers and beyond. Though the book isn’t written specifically for an audience of parents raising differently wired kids, the “clues” we share are relevant for any parent of any child. And the bonus? I was able to bring my unique lens as the mother of an atypical kid to the project, and so we took special care to ensure the book is inclusive of every type of child.

 Angela Santomero is the creator of many preschool TV shows including Blue’s Clues, Super Why, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, Creative Galaxy, and Wishenpoof, and was the host of The Parent Show with Angela Santomero on PBS. She has a Master’s degree in Child Developmental Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University with a sub-concentration in Instructional Technology and Media. Find out more at Angela’s website, Angela’s Clues.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The story behind the book Preschool Clues
• The importance of a healthy media diet and choosing high-quality programs for our kids
• How Angela defines the ingredients of a high-quality program for preschoolers: educational, interaction, and engagement
• How parents can use the “power of the Pause” in their every day life
• The importance of celebrating the small things
• How parents can embrace media as part of their parenting toolkit
• How programs like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood help kids learn through social stories

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Angela’s Clues (Angela’s website)
• Preschool Clues: Raising Smart, Inspired, and Engaged Kids in a Screen-Filled World by Angela Santomero and Deborah Reber
• Blue’s Clues (Nick Jr.)
• Super Why (PBS Kids)
• Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood (PBS Kids)
• Daniel Tiger Becomes a Boy with Autism’s Guide to Social Life (article from New York Times’ Motherload)

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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Dr. Megan Anna Neff, is a clinical psychologist specializing in the support and empowerment of neurodivergent adults through her expertise in neurodivergent affirming care and assessments. She comes on the show to talk about the complexity of diagnosis and the why’s behind the misdiagnoses. 

We dive deep into the assessment process and why so many people slip through the cracks when seeking a diagnosis, why it’s important to get clarity around a child’s wiring in order to provide them with support that will be meaningful and affirming, why identifying one’s neurodivergence (either through self-identification or a medical diagnosis) matters, and the kind of trauma a person can experience when they go through life without a diagnosis. 

Dr. Megan Anna Neff is a clinical psychologist based in Oregon, specializing in the support and empowerment of neurodivergent adults through her expertise in neurodivergent affirming care and assessments. Megan Anna has co-authored two books and published in several peer-reviewed psychological journals. Her forthcoming book, Self Care for Autistic People, exemplifies her dedication to providing accessible resources for the neurodivergent community. 

Things you'll learn from this episode

• The difference between a self-diagnosis and a medical diagnosis
• How the COVID pandemic influenced the influx of adults discovering their neurodivergence
• What Misdiagnosis Mondays is and how and why Megan Anna created it
• Why it’s important to tease out the core or underlying issues when a child is struggling with multiple neurodivergences and/or mental health challenges
• The kind of trauma a child can experience when they go through life without a diagnosis
• How we can support our kids in getting back to a baseline if they have built up trauma in their systems
• How to identify and vet neuropsych evaluators who take a neurodivergent affirming approach to the assessment process

Resources mentioned 

• Megan Neff’s website
• Megan Neff on Instagram at @neurodivergent_insights
• Megan Neff’s membership community
• Megan’s infographics, workbooks, and resources
• Self-care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask! by Dr. Megan Neff
• Dr. Jonathan Dalton, Center for Anxiety & Behavioral Change
• Dr. Devon Price and Unmasking Autism (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

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Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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A few months ago, Asher and I recorded an episode about the upcoming summer camps he was getting ready for, especially Space Camp. In that episode, Asher shared how he worked with his therapist over the spring to prep for tricky situations he predicted might come up while there. If you haven’t listened to that episode yet, I highly recommend you go back and check it out … you can find it here. 

At the end of that episode, we promised to do a post-camp follow up so Asher could share how things went, whether or not his strategies worked, and more. So that’s what today’s episode is about… Summer Camp, Part 2. I will say that Space Camp ended up being a bit of a disappointment for Asher, and in addition to dealing with his own emotions surrounding his expectations not being met, he also felt bad because he knew so many people were rooting for him. So I’m really proud of Asher for sharing his experience for this podcast. I hope you enjoy it. 

Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Find out more by visiting the About Page.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• How Space Camp went for Asher
• The unforeseen challenges for Asher at camp and how he dealt with them
• How Asher would prepare differently for camp if he could do it all over again
• The tricky balance between setting too high and too low expectations
• What it was like for Asher to be at a camp with peers who had ADHD (Eye to Eye Camp)
• How Asher coped with pre-camp anxiety and jitters

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• 12-year-old Asher Talks About How He’s Prepping for a Successful Time at Sleep Away Camp (podcast)
• Space Camp
• Eye to Eye National
• David Flink
• 12-year-old Asher Talks to David Flink, a Social Movement Leader on the Front Lines of the Learning Rights Movement (podcast)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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I’ve gotten to know today’s guest, Amanda Diekman, over the past year after I participated in her Low Demand Parenting Summit, which I know many of you attended, and more recently, read her new book, Low-demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection With Your Uniquely Wired Child. 

Because low-demand parenting can be such an effective approach to supporting differently wired kids, especially kids who fall under the PDA profile of autism, I invited Amanda to join the show for a conversation about what this parenting approach looks like. An autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space, Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practice. She runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. During this episode, we talk about what low demand parenting is, why it’s different than what might be referred to as “permissive” parenting, why it’s so effective for kids with PDA, and how she helps parents loosen up the mindset around non-negotiables. 

About Amanda Diekman

Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practices, with her book Low Demand Parenting to be published July 2023. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. 

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What led Amanda to implement low-demand parenting in her family
• What low demand parenting is, and why it’s often misconstrued as permissive
• The relationship between PDA and low-demand parenting
• Examples of big demands and tiny demands, and how shifting the focus can reduce stress for kids
• How Amanda helps parents in loosening their mindset about what they define as non-negotiables
• Ideas for practicing low-demand parenting in regard to our kids’ relationship with technology and screens
• How Amanda and her co-parenting partner came to work together using low-demand parenting

Resources mentioned:

• Amanda Diekman’s website
• Low-demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection With Your Uniquely Wired Child by Amanda Diekman
• Amanda Diekman on Instagram
• The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene
• Akilah Richards on Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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A special kid's POV episode where Asher and I talk all about that rite of passage for millions of children around the world—sleep away camp. This summer, Asher is going to a sleep away camp for the second time in his life. The first time was two years ago, when he went to a very traditional outdoorsy camp with his best friend in the Pacific Northwest. All things considered, that experience went pretty well, and we learned a few things about what can be hard about camp and what kind of situations might be challenging for Asher (and for many differently-wired kids).

This year, we’re going to give it another try, this time at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama, something Asher is, shall we say, INCREDIBLY excited about. And at the same time, when we first signed him up, Asher recognized there would be situations at Space Camp that could potentially be especially tough for him. As you’ll hear, Asher came to me and asked to work with a therapist / coach to help him figure out strategies for navigating tricky situations that might come up.

So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today…the different strategies we’ve used to help Asher get prepared for sleep away camp, as well as Asher’s own revelations about what he thinks will help him have a positive experience, even if and when things come up that push him mentally and emotionally.

Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast.

Things you'll learn from this episode:

• How Debbie and Asher prepped for the kinds of situations that might come up at sleep away camp
• Asher’s new strategy for getting “un-angry”
• How Maslov’s Hierachy of Needs has helped Asher learn more about his own emotional responses

Resources Mentioned:

• Camp Orkila 
• Space Camp
• Kate Berger on What Mindfulness Can Do for Kids and How to Get Started (podcast)
• Asher Talks with David Flink, a Social Movement Leader on the Front Lines of the Learning Differences Movement (podcast)
• Julie George on the Role of Executive Functioning in Differently-Wired Kids (podcast)
• Eye to Eye National
• Kerbal Space Program
• The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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My guest today is Dr. Katie Davis, a researcher on the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being, and the author of the fascinating new book, Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up. The world of technology is ever-expanding and its integration into our lives so seamlessly that we often don’t stop to consider what effect it’s having on us and our children. In this conversation, Katie helps us understand what this impact is and what we want to consider surrounding our kids’ use of tech.

Katie and I explore how technology is accelerating the full arc of child development, what the research says about the efficacy of apps that are sold as tools to develop kids’ learning and things like executive function skills and whether or not ADHD symptoms can be exacerbated by technology use. We also discussed gaming disorder and how to support children in their usage of social media while they are developing and exploring their identities. 

About Dr. Katie Davis

Dr. Katie Davis is Associate Professor at the University of Washington (UW) and Director of the UW Digital Youth Lab. For nearly twenty years, she has been researching the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being. In her latest book, Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up, Dr. Davis brings clarity to what we know about technology’s role in child development and provides guidance on how to help children of all ages make the most of their digital experiences.

 Things you'll learn from this episode

• What Katie’s book Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up is about and what she was hoping to accomplish by sharing it with the world
• How technology is accelerating the full arc of child development
• What “design abuse” is and how it keeps kids engaged in technology
• The effects of technology on our kids’ fledgling executive function skills
• What the research says about the efficacy of apps marketed as tools to support kids’ executive function skill development
• How to support kids in the usage of social media while developing their identities

Resources 

• Dr. Katie Davis’ website
• Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up by Dr. Katie Davis
• Dr. Katie Davis on Instagram
• Dr. Katie Davis on Twitter
• Sign up for Katie’s Technology’s Child newsletter to receive information, ideas, and updates related to the book and my work, as well as a sample chapter from Katie’s book
• Devorah Heitner on Helping Kids Thrive in Their Digital Worlds (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher and Debbie take listeners inside their homeschooling world. They're about to begin year four of this unexpected homeschooling journey, and after much trial and error, they’ve found their rhythm and flow (for now) for what works best in their school.

Asher and Debbie talk about the transition into homeschooling, what works and what doesn’t, how Asher really feels about being homeschooling, how they co-designed they school, and what a typical day looks like. Asher also shares his thoughts on how their relationship has changed as a result of the homeschooling dynamic.

Debbie Reber is the founder of TiLT and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast.

Things You'll Learn from This Episode:

• The pros and cons of homeschooling from a kid’s POV
• How Asher and I have co-designed our school structure, schedule, and curriculum
• How structure and flexibility can actually co-exist
• What a typical school day looks like in our world
• What I see as the biggest benefits of homeschooling Asher
• How Asher perceives our teacher-student relationship versus mother-son

Resources Mentioned:

• Image of our homeschooling daily schedule
• Khan Academy
• Kerbal Space Program
• Kurzgesagt YouTube Channel
• Ted-Ed Videos

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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We’re talking about what we often call in the neurodivergent space, long runways, for our emerging young adults, specifically alternative paths for differently wired students who are graduating high school but may not either be ready for a “typical” college experience or for whom college isn’t part of the plan.

We do get a little update from Dave on the admissions landscape, but most of the this episode is dedicated to considering other options for students, including gap years, apprenticeships, taking a few classes at a community college, and most importantly, slowing the whole “launching” process down to support kids who would really benefit from extra time to develop and grow, recover from mental health challenges, destress, and more. 

About my guest:

David L Marcus is a college admissions coach who loves helping students and parents find balance and joy. He has been a journalist, author and teacher – as well as a writing coach for CEOs.

David wrote a book about college admissions, Acceptance (published by Penguin Books). He also wrote a book about struggling teens, What It Takes to Pull Me Through (published by Houghton Mifflin). He has appeared on the Today show and NPR’s Morning Edition; he has spoken about education at conferences, schools, churches, and synagogues across the U.S. David is an honors graduate of Brown University. He was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard. But he says classes at a community college changed his life.

Things you'll learn:

• What has changed for students who are college bound now that we are through the pandemic
• How the decision-making and admission process has changed for students and for colleges
• Why gap years can be such a good option for some students and the different ways a gap year might look
• Why community college might be a good starting point for neurodivergent kids
• Other options for kids who don’t want to take the college route after high school
• Advice for parents with kids close to the end of high school on how to support them after they graduate

Resources:

• David Marcus’ website
• Acceptance: A Legendary Guidance Counselor Helps Seven Kids Find the Right Colleges–and Find Themselves by David Marcus
• What It Takes To Pull Me Through: Four Troubled Teenagers And Fourteen Months That Transformed Them by David Marcus
• College Vetting, Admissions, & Accommodations for Differently Wired Students (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Seven Steps to College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities by Elizabeth Hamblet
• Gap Year Association
• College Autism Spectrum

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This weeks' guest is Penny Williams, author of the book Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, as well The Insiders Guide to ADHD, and What To Expect When Parenting a Child with ADHD. Penny is also the founder of Parenting ADHD and Autism, which features a blog, coaching, and the Parenting ADHD podcast, all aimed at helping parents raising special kids survive, thrive, and parent with purpose. 

In our conversation, Penny shares her story of raising her differently wired son, gives us the inside scoop on her books, and shares some of her best strategies for getting through the tough moments with our unique kiddos. I hope you enjoy the episode!

Penny Williams is a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey. Through her award-winning books, online parent training programs, and parent coaching, Penny helps families like yours survive and thrive in the face of ADHD through a compassionate, purposeful parenthood.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Penny’s personal story of discovering her son’s neurodifferences and advocating for him in school
• Why holding her son back one year in school was the best decision Penny made (but she had to follow her gut to make it)
• Penny’s thoughts on medicating kids for ADHD, as well as her story in figuring out the best medication path for her son
• Why Penny had mom guilt with some her choices in supporting her son
• Penny’s thoughts on the co-morbid diagnoses of ADHD and autism
• The challenges of getting a thorough and accurate diagnosis when there are multiple symptoms

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Parenting ADHD and Aspergers (Penny’s website)
• Boy Without Instructions:Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams
• What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD: A 9-Step Plan to Master the Struggles and Triumphs of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams
• The Insider’s Guide to ADHD: Adults with ADHD Reveal the Secret to Parenting Kids with ADHD by Penny Williams
• Parenting ADHD Podcast 

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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Dr. Ellen Braaten was one of my first guests on the Tilt Parenting podcast, when she joined me back in 2016 to talk about her book about processing speed, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. I’m so happy to be bringing her back to the show to talk about motivation,, which is the topic for her wonderful new book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation. 

In this episode, we explore motivation (or what we might perceive as a lack of motivation) in our kids from many angles, including what is really going on when our child appears to be unmotivated, the relationship between executive function and motivation, how resilience comes into play, and the way in which we as parents and caregivers can support our kids in gaining confidence and skills so they can make meaningful progress towards the things that light them up. 

About Dr. Ellen Braaten

Dr. Ellen Braaten is the Executive Director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital, and an Associate Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Braaten is widely recognized as an expert in the field of pediatric neuropsychological and psychological assessment, particularly in the areas of assessing learning disabilities and attentional disorders. She is the co-author of many books and articles for parents and professionals including the bestselling book, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. Her newest book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation was published in March of 2023.

Things you'll learn from this episode

-Why people sometimes misconstrue struggles with motivation as laziness (and how they’re getting it wrong)

-How executive function challenges and challenges with getting, or staying, motivated are connected

-What the parenting APP framework is and how it helps parents in supporting their children in feeling more motivated

-What “flow” is and how can we leverage that to support our kids’ fledgling motivation

-How to support kids in setting and working towards goals with kids who are particularly demand-avoidant

Resources

-Dr. Ellen Braaten’s website

-Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation by Dr. Ellen Braaten

-Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up: Help Your Child Overcome Slow Processing Speed and Keep Up in a Fast-Paced World by Dr. Ellen Braaten

-Exploring Slow Processing Speed with Dr. Ellen Braaten (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

-Traits of Flow According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

-The Learning and Emotional Assessment Program at Mass General

-Doable: A Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything by Debbie Reber

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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This episode features a conversation with Giselle Marzo Segura, a designer, teacher, mentor, writer and solutions thinker based in Miami, Florida, who is also the parent of a differently-wired daughter. As a result of her journey with her daughter, Giselle was moved to create a venture called Strength Clusters, which is all about helping people understand and connect with each other through the language of character strengths. 

I’ll let Giselle tell you her whole story, because it’s very inspiring and personal, but for now, I’ll let you know that we’re going to be talking about his idea of why current systems aimed at supporting differently-wired kids do so by focusing on the deficits. We’ll also get into how truly transformational it can be, not just for the child but for the whole family, when we flip that on its head and focus on an individual’s strengths.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The cost of not allowing differently-wired kids to hang out in their areas of strength for large chunks of the day
• Why Giselle believes differently-wired kids need the opportunity to express what’s inside of them
• What the language of positive psychology and character strengths is
• What happens when the whole family views each other through the lens of character strengths and is on the same page
• The magic of looking at a child as a whole person
• That there are other types of learning beyond cognitive learning, such as learning through the body and emotions

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Strength Clusters (Giselle’s website)
• Character Strenths are Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson
• Via Character Strengths Survey
• Brene Brown’s website
• The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown
• Pamela Slim’s website

Support the show

Connect with Tilt Parenting

• Visit Tilt Parenting
• Take the free 7-Day Challenge
• Read a chapter of Differently Wired
• Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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Today I’m delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA+ kids, and I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities. 

During our conversation, John explained what “coming out” means and why it’s such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA+ person. He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it’s so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child’s identity. 

About John Sovec

John Sovec, MA, LMFT is a nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. He is the author of Out: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond (JKP, 2023). John is a frequent contributor to numerous publications on providing LGBTQIA+ support, speaks at conferences nationally, and provides training and professional consultation on LGBTQIA+ competencies for community agencies, schools, and nonprofits. In addition, he consults and trains on the corporate level regarding diversity, equity, and LGBTQIA+ inclusion.

In December 2019, he was appointed by Governor Gavin Newsom to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. John is the host of OutTalk, a monthly web series for OutCare Health.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why it’s important that LGBTQIA+ kids have access to therapists and mental health support that is affirming and informed in the community’s specific challenges
• What LGBTQIA+ plus stands for
• What “coming out” means in our contemporary society
• John’s guidance for how parents can respond to their child’s coming out in a way that feels supportive and loving
• How parents can show up for their LGBTQIA+ kids in an affirming way
• What parents with LGBTQIA+ kids are most concerned about and how they can navigate their own emotional process

Resources mentioned for

• John Sovec’s website
• A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your Lgbtqia+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond by John Sovec
• John Sovec’s Gay Teen Therapy website
• John Sovec on Instagram
• How to Support Transgender and Nonbinary Neurodivergent Children, with Dr. Laura Anderson (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• Dr. Laura Anderson on Gender Nonconformity and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health