The Worst Bestsellers

Y’all horny for some dragons? We forged a soul bond with comedian, writer, and Scary Mommy Sarah Aswell by reading Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros together. Listen to this episode while pondering ways to legally murder your classmates!

Content warning: Here there be dragons. Also, dead parents.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “How Rebecca Yarros Packed Dragons, Magic and Steamy Sex Into a Blockbuster Fantasy” by Alexandra Alter

“Q&A: Rebecca Yarros on Chronic Illness Representation in Fourth Wing” by Riyana Straetker

NPR Weekend Edition: “Veronica Roth’s ‘Carve The Mark’ Is A Fantasy Inspired By Chronic Pain”

Coming up next: Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon.

The devil made us read This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti. Fortunately, we were #blessed to be joined by Izzy Wasserstein, author of These Fragile Graces, This Fugitive Heart, who helped safely guide us through this Christian thriller. Listen to this episode while waiting for a cool angel to pick you up on her motorcycle.

Content warning: False accusations of sexual assault, Christian fundamentalism, murder/suicide/demon attack.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “This Present Darkness” on Wikipedia

“The long history and slow death of a word once used to describe everyone and everything from Egypt to China as well as rugs” by Yanan Wang

“15 times The X-Files’ Dana Scully was the best character on TV” by Sarah Crocker

Coming up next: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros.

Ice, ice, baby! Annie Cardi, author of Red, returned to the podcast to discuss the sexy skater Booktok sensation Icebreaker by Hannah Grace. Join us as we skate back to college and dirty talk our way into the Olympics!

Content warning: Disordered eating, gaslighting, emotional abuse.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Who Is Hannah Grace? And Why Won’t She Show Her Face?” by Elisabeth Egan

Coming up next: This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti.

Nora Roberts Month continues! Heidi and Emily from Romancing the Shelf podcast returned and took us back to the 90s with the vintage romantic thriller Sanctuary. Sadly, this book has zero plates of casual pasta but it does have at least 3.5 romantic couples and almost as many murders. Listen to this episode on one of your three computers!

Content warning: Murder, sexual assault, questionable mental health care.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Romancing the Shelf – Sanctuary

“Nora Roberts: The woman who rewrote the rules of romantic fiction” by Carole Cadwalladr

Coming up next: Icebreaker by Hannah Grace.

Our Lady Nora Roberts has written a book about a handsome criminal who admires good architecture and casual pasta? We’re so back. Our friend and Nora Roberts expert Christine has returned to discuss Nightwork with us. Listen to this episode while working on your night cheese!

Content warning: Cancer, death of a parent.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “A Visual Guide to 35 Popular Pasta Shapes — Plus the Best Sauce to Serve with Each” by Rochelle Bilow

Coming up next: Sanctuary by Nora Roberts.

Once again, we’ve managed to sneak in a few good books this year! Here are our favorite books we read in 2023 (regardless of publication year. Long live backlist titles!)

Footnotes: Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2023 (featuring Renata’s picks for middle grade and YA!)

Coming up next: A January hiatus. Happy New Year! We’ll see you in February!

Kait’s Top 5 Best

5.) Under the Eye of Power by Colin Dickey

4.) Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

3.) The Narrow by Kate Alice Marshall

2.) Episode Thirteen by Craig DiLouie

1.) A House With Good Bones by T. Kingfisher

Bonus star: A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll

Bonus star: For Never and Always by Helena Greer

Renata’s Top 5 Best

5.) Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to a Tribe Called Quest by Hanif Abdurriqib

4.) Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

3.) America the Beautiful? One Woman in a Borrowed Prius on the Road Most Traveled by Blythe Roberson

2.) Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

1.) To Shape a Dragon’s Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose

Bonus Star: Murderbot series by Martha Wells

Bonus Star: Elf Dog and Owl Head by M. T. Anderson

We finished our adventures with the Time Traveler’s Wife but decided to linger in the 2000s for awhile longer. Friend of the Show (and the Internet’s Best Friend) Margaret H. Willison joined us to discuss Britney Spears’s memoir The Woman In Me. Listen to this episode instead of listening to the music of Justin Timberlake!

Content warning: This book contains abuse, abortion, disordered eating, and all the other stuff you’d assume.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Miss American Dream” by Taffy Brodesser-Akner.

“Craig Ferguson’s Monologue Defending Britney Spears From 2007 Resurfaces Amid #FreeBritney Movement” by Alexandra Del Rosario

“Mariah Carey Calls Mention in Britney Spears’ ‘The Woman in Me’ ‘Super Sweet’: ‘I Love Her'” by Ilana Kaplan

“Michelle Williams impersonates Justin Timberlake while narrating hilarious part of Britney Spears’ memoir” by Shania Russell

Mystery Show Case #2: Britney

“Britney Spears’s Conservatorship Is a Disability Rights Issue That Deserves More Attention” by Haley Moss

Coming up next: Bests of 2023.

We held our annual Patreon Choice poll and our Beloved Patrons chose to send us back in time to 2003 with The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Since the book is prominently set in Chicago, we were #blessed to be joined by prominent Chicagoan Ashley to unpack the Jeremy Bearimy of it all. Please do not listen to this episode while having sex with your future wife for the first time.

Content warning: Sketchy time travel age/consent issues, death of a partner, miscarriages.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Popular Titles are Vanishing from HBO Max After Merger” by Eric Deggans.

Audrey Niffenegger’s Chicago

The Time Traveler’s Wife: Reception

Audrey Niffenegger Tweet about The Other Husband

Legends of Tomorrow – Swan Thong

Coming up next: The Woman in Me by Britney Spears.

A cautionary tale: too many people complained about this book online so we were dumped into an arena and forced to publicly defend it to the death. Mackenzi Lee, author of many Best Bestselling books including The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Winter Soldier: Cold Front, has returned to the podcast to get to talk about a book we all actually enjoyed: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins. The Capitol has mandated that all citizens listen to this episode, so please comply with their decree.

Content warning: Hunger Games.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Hunger Games prequel: untangling the controversy over The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes” by Kayleigh Dray

“Reminder That ‘Hunger Games’ Co-Stars Rachel Zegler and Josh Andrés Rivera Are Dating IRL and V Cute” by Mehera Bonner

Coming up next: The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Spooky season is here, so we were joined by Lily Sparks, author of the Teen Killers Club trilogy (including the latest book, Teen Killers at Large) and the upcoming The Merciless King of Moore High. We got witchy with the Owens women in Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman. This episode will bring all the cats to the schoolyard!

Announcement: Join us in our Discord server on Monday, October 30th at 8:30pm Eastern Time for a live watch of the Practical Magic movie! (It’s currently streaming on Hulu.)

Content warning: Light mention of death of parents, domestic violence, and death of a boyfriend.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks.

Episode 122 – A Discovery Of Witches

Coming up next: The Ballad of Songbird and Snakes by Suzanne Collins.

We just wrapped up Banned Books Week in the USA, a time to celebrate our freedom to read and also to speak up about book challenges! We were joined by Jen and Dan, the hosts of the Banned Camp podcast, where they read banned books to investigate why they were banned. They previously read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, which is frequently banned and challenged. So together we read the controversial Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee, and you know what…maybe we’re challenging it. No, like, we’re not going to call for it to be removed from libraries or anything, just like…are you sure you want to read it? Listen to this episode on your next train ride to Maycomb.

Content warning: Discussion of racism (though we 100% guarantee we do not say the n-word aloud on the podcast, although it is in the text of the book itself), sexual assault, and death of a sibling.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Unite Against Book Bans

“How to Fight Book Bans and Challenges” by Kelly Jensen

“Banned Spotlight: To Kill a Mockingbird” by Betsy Gomez

“See where ‘Go Set a Watchman’ overlaps with ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ word-for-word” by Keith Collins and Nikhil Sonnad

Harper Lee: The controversy that still surrounds author’s ‘lost novel’ Go Set a Watchman by Andrew Buncombe

Coming up next: Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman.

It’s our 9th podiversary! We’ve run out of Stephenie Meyer books so we decided to have our OG guest Carrie return to check out a series whose marketing team would certainly love for us to think it was written by SMeyer: Crave by Tracy Wolff. Thanks to everyone for joining us for these past 9 years, and let’s all work on manifesting a new Twilight book for next year!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: 360+ Teen Slang, Emojis, & Hashtags Parents Need to Know 

Coming up next: Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee.

We’re topping off this year’s Flashback Summer with a pair of red–some would say auburn–braids. We were joined by Hannah and Marcelle, the cohosts of Witch, Please and Material Girls, to discuss Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery. Pour yourselves a cup of raspberry cordial and listen to this podcast on your train journey from the orphanage!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Anne of Green Gables Raspberry Cordial recipe by Tori Avey

The Real Reason ‘Anne With an E’ Was Canceled by Netflix Is Heartbreaking by Katie Bourque

Coming up next: Crave by Tracy Wolff.

For Flashback Summer we decided to get away from it all with a visit to an exclusive desert spa. Unfortunately, the spa was plagued with black widow spiders, blackmailers, and other concerns. Fortunately, Kristin, the host of the Kristin Sleuth YouTube channel, was able to talk us through Nancy Drew #111: The Secret at Solaire by Carolyn Keene. This episode is not sponsored by Solaire moisturizer.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 55 – Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys

Kristin Sleuth on YouTube

Crime Pays, Botany Doesn’t on YouTube

It’s a Clue podcast

The Dream podcast

Sweet Valley High Diaries – 35’s Extended B-Story: Tofu-Glo

Coming up next: Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery.

Breaking Flashback Summer News: in the title of the book Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison, “Angus” refers to the cat! Renata was almost as excited about this fact as she was about convincing JJ, aka S. Jae-Jones, author of Guardians of Dawn: Zhara to return as a guest for this episode! Listen to this episode while shaving your eyebrows (or while you are homebound, waiting for your eyebrows to regrow).

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Time 100 Best YA Books Of All Time: Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging

Coming up next: Nancy Drew and the Secret at Solaire by Carolyn Keene.

For this Flashback Summer episode, the Bellwether Friends Anna & Alene joined Renata to discuss Anastasia Krupnik by Lois Lowry. Sadly, Kait had to miss this one because she was busy shopping for her new poetry outfit, which would make Anastasia green with envy. Listen to this episode while you update the list of “loves” and “hates” in your notebook!

Kait’s Poetry Outfit:

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Four Questions with Lois Lowry, Newbery Award-Winning Children’s Author” by Molly Parr

“Why Anastasia Krupnik Was Ahead of Her Time” by Grace Lapointe

Bellwether Friends #65 – Fastest and Furiousest

Coming up next: Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison.

Were you looking for sound medical advice to treat snakebites and rabies? Well, we do not recommend consulting Trixie Belden #1: The Secret of the Mansion by Julie Campbell for first aid training. However, we had a great time talking to returning guest Carrie about this Flashback Summer mystery novel.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: The Trixie Belden Series

WikiHow: How to Treat a Snake Bite

WikiHow: How to Spot Rabies in a Dog

Coming up next: Anastasia Krupnik by Lois Lowry.

Help! We’re trapped in the bodies of millennial podcasters! Andrew and Craig from the Overdue podcast joined us to discuss the classic switcheroo tale Help! I’m Trapped In My Teacher’s Body by Todd Strasser. Listen to this episode while your coworker makes you breakfast!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: A Taste of Spongey: Help! I’m Trapped in the First Day of School

Overdue #590 – Super Mario Bros movie adaptation

Coming up next: The Secret of the Mansion (Trixie Belden #1) by Julie Campbell.

It’s–hey, calm down, no, put down your pitchforks, we’re not calling Judy Blume a “worst” bestseller! Absolutely not, just, please, let me finish this intro–it’s Flashback Summer! The time when we chill out and revisit childhood favorites, even when they are iconic classics that absolutely do not match the name of our podcast. We were joined by writer and comedian Sarah Aswell (@seaswell),  also known as the Scary Mommy behind Scary Mommy Book Club, to discuss Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by the one and only Judy Blume. Listen to this episode while increasing your bust!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Judy Blume Shares How It Felt To Finally Watch ‘Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret’” by Sarah Aswell

“God to Margaret: Always with wings!” by Rebecca Traister

“Judy Blume Blasted An Article Linking Her To J.K. Rowling’s Anti-Trans Views As ‘Bullshit'” by David Mack

Judy Blume embraces renewed interest in her work from her Florida book store

Coming up next:  Help! I’m Trapped in my Teacher’s Body by Todd Strasser.

Hey, we’ll be honest: we kind of phoned this one in. On a landline. You screened it? On your answering machine? Haha, a topical reference. See, we read Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and The Musical Rent by Anthony Rapp. He was in Rent! Listen to this episode while waiting in line for rush tickets for Rent. Or, honestly, don’t listen to this episode if you don’t care about Rent the musical. You’ve been warned!

Content warning: Sexual assault, death of a parent.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: This American Life: Hoaxing Yourself

‘Without You’ Review: Anthony Rapp’s Seasons of Love, and Loss by Elisabeth Vincentelli

“Actor Anthony Rapp: Kevin Spacey Made A Sexual Advance Toward Me When I Was 14” by Adam Vary

Rentheads FAQ

Josh’s Website

Coming up next: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume.

Pamela Anderson: model, actress, activist…poet. Dame Karen Corday (of Two Bossy Dames and elsewhere on the internet!) joined us to read Love, Pamela, which…we kinda loved. Join us as we revisit the 90s with increased feminist rage!

Content warning: Child abuse/child sexual abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “What to Read, Watch, and Listen to After the Pam & Tommy Finale” by Sophie Brookover and Karen Corday

Pamela Anderson Blue Zone Girl ad

Pamela Anderson’s Playboy Covers Through the Years

Coming up next: Without You by Anthony Rapp.

As Americans, it’s our right to not pay attention to the British royal family. However, we’re waiving that right in order to read Spare by Prince Harry. We were thrilled to be joined by Dame Sophie of Two Bossy Dames–even more thrilled than Harry was to meet Will Arnett at a party at Courtney Cox’s house. Listen to this episode on your way to throw more tea into Boston Harbor.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Prince Harry Holds Spike the Echidna

The Victorian Society in America

“Royal Bodies” by Hilary Mantel

BrainyQuote.com

Jimenez’s “Wolverine” Savages the Poaching Trade

Coming up next: Love, Pamela by Pamela Anderson.

Divorced, beheaded, subjected to an extremely long and boring work of historical fiction. Ann Foster from Vulgar History joined us to discuss The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. We were glad for Ann’s expertise, because now we now that it’s historically inaccurate in addition to being super boring. Listen to this episode on your way to your next gay witchcraft circle!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Brimping.

Gable hoods.

Coming up next: Spare by Prince Harry.

Did you read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and think, “This could really use more victim blaming?” If so: have we got a book for you! Kristen and Jolenta from How To Be Fine (and By the Book) joined us to discuss Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever: The Making of a Happy Woman by Judge Judy Sheindlin. Listen to this episode on your way to pick up your husband’s dry cleaning!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: By The Book: Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever

Judge Judy To Megyn Kelly: ‘I’m Not A Feminist’ 

Coming up next: The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory.

We got tired of waiting for Stephenie Meyer’s latest book, so we checked out a book that some book bloggers are saying Stephenie Meyer wrote. Corinne is written by Rebecca Morrow, whose author bio simply states, “Rebecca Morrow is a pseudonym for a New York Times bestselling author.” We had our friend Margaret H. Willison (of Two Bossy Dames, among other projects) join us to investigate Morrow’s identity: is she Stephenie Meyer? Or perhaps an even more dazzling author? Listen to this episode to find out!

Content warning: Religious trauma.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Reddit post: “Pretty sure Stephanie Meyer is wrote a new novel that’s slightly anti-religious under another name to avoid getting in trouble with the Mormon church.”

“Who Really Wrote Corinne by Rebecca Morrow?”

“Elin Hilderbrand to retire from writing beach reads in 2024”

Village Inn

Cream Cheese Mints

Coming up next: Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever by Judge Judith Sheindlin.

Dear Ellen, our friend Vanessa from the podcast Hot and Bothered flew in from Plethora, Maine to discuss Colleen Hoover’s It Ends With Us. Millions of BookTokkers can’t be wrong…can they? Listen to this episode in Boston, where everything is better.

Content warning: Domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual assault, death of a child.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Bestselling writer Colleen Hoover apologizes for planned coloring book based on domestic violence novel” by Issy Ronald.

Hot and Bothered: It Ends With Us

Coming up next: Corinne by Rebecca Morrow.

Although we had to check out of the real life Inn BoonsBoro, we were able to return there through the power of fiction. We read the second book in the Inn BoonsBoro trilogy, The Last Boyfriend by Nora Roberts, with our returning guest and Nora Roberts expert Christine.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Inn BoonsBoro

Coming up next: It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover.

Thanks to our wonderful Patreon Patrons, we recently traveled to Nora Roberts’ bed and breakfast in Maryland, Inn BoonsBoro, along with our Resident Nora Roberts Expert, Christine, and Resident Robe Expert, Nicole! Please enjoy this bonus episode where the four of us talk about our luxurious weekend stay, debate the content of a dolphin massage, and fail to accurately describe the size of a pretzel.

Footnotes: Romancing The Shelf: Our Trip to BoonsBoro!

Inn BoonsBoro

Gifts Inn BoonsBoro

Ghost-scented lotion!

Bespoke tea blends!

Dan’s Restaurant and Taproom

Renata’s Instagram Post

Big Pretzel:

Coming up next: The Last Boyfriend by Nora Roberts.

It’s our first episode of the year and we’re already longing to get away from it all. So we were joined by Heidi and Emily of the Romancing the Shelf podcast to discuss the book The Next Always by Nora Roberts. But also more importantly, we discussed Inn BoonsBoro, the B&B where this book is set, but also the B&B that Nora Roberts owns in real life! Heidi and Emily gave Kait and Renata travel tips for their upcoming stay in BoonsBoro. Listen to this episode on your way to pick up your next pizza.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Romancing The Shelf: Our Trip to BoonsBoro!

Inn BoonsBoro

Coming up next: The Last Boyfriend by Nora Roberts.

Another year has come and gone, and yet we’re still here, talking about books! For a treat, here are some good ones.

Footnotes: Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2022 (featuring Renata’s picks for middle grade and YA!)

Coming up next: A January hiatus. Happy New Year! We’ll see you in February!

Kait’s Top 5 Best

5. Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

4. Experimental Film by Gemma Files

(4a. each thing i show you is a piece of my death by Gemma Files and Stephen J. Barringer)

3. Small Angels by Lauren Owen

2. What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

1.  These Fleeting Shadows by Kate Alice Marshall

Bonus fave: Season of Love by Helena Greer

Renata’s Top 5 Best

5. Great or Nothing by Joy McCullough, Caroline Tung Richmond, Tess Sharpe, & Jessica Spotswood

4. Her Majesty’s Royal Coven by Juno Dawson

3. Ducks by Kate Beaton

2. Self-Made Boys by Anna-Marie McLemore

1. Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Renata’s Top 2 Worst Books To Be Banned/Challenged

2. Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez
1. Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Democracy works: our Patreon patrons voted for us to read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, so we did. And we, along with our returning guest Meredith Goldstein, of the Boston Globe’s Love Letters, actually kinda…loved it? Sorry haters, we’ve been Gilbertpilled. Listen to this episode while eating incredible homemade pasta, or just some frozen pizza if you’re currently in the USA.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “The ‘Eat Pray Love’ Problem: How Movie Liz Ruined The Story Of Book Liz” by Linda Holmes

“In which I don’t review ‘Eat Pray Love'” by Crunk Feminist Collective

The new colonialism of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Sandip Roy

“Elizabeth Gilbert Is Owning Her Past Mistakes” by Lizzy O’Leary

“‘Eat, Pray, Love’ Author Elizabeth Gilbert Announces She’s Dating Another Woman” by Claire Landsbaum

Coming up next: Bests & Worsts of 2022.

Duarte’s been asking us for more feline representation, so we were joined by Phillip Mottaz, author of the Psychic Barber Mystery series, to read the first Mrs. Murphy mystery, Wish You Were Here by Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown. It’s a small town cozy mystery solved by a postmistress and her pets. Unfortunately, the pets have weirdly regressive attitudes. Turn the volume up on this episode to make sure you can hear it over all the almonds being blended!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Rita Mae Brown’s Wikipedia page

Coming up next: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

We reunited with Sydney and Delaney from Book Cult to discuss the cult-adjacent teachings of Sylvia Browne, as presented in her book Blessings From The Other Side: Wisdom and Comfort From the Afterlife For This Life. Play this one extra loud to make sure that it’s audible to the spirits hovering three feet above you!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Book Cult Episode 43: Blessings From The Other Side

Book Cult Episode 75: Worst Bestsellers (that’s us!) 

John Oliver is sensing a ‘p’ for ‘predatory bullshit’ as Last Week Tonight debunks TV psychic by Dennis Perkins

44 Life Themes Everyone Chooses Before Incarnation: Which One Did You Choose?

Sylvia Browne on Wikipedia

Coming up next: Wish You Were Here by Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown.

With Saturation Day (and spooky season!) upon us, Kait retreated to her queers-only bunker with returning guests Wren and Laura to discuss Chuck Tingle’s horror novella Straight. Listen to see what happens when three type-A planners read a book about the type of people who don’t google the menu before going to a new restaurant.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Nightfire Proves Love is Real With Chuck Tingle’s Horror Novel, Camp Damascus

Coming up next: Blessings from the Other Side by Sylvia Browne.

We got tired of reading reality TV memoirs, so instead we read a thinly-veiled reality television novel, L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad. Some of us (Renata) enjoyed it more than others of us (Kait), but we were both thrilled to talk to Helena Greer (@BlumAgainCurios), the author of Season of Love and the upcoming For Never And Always.

Readers advisory: Here.

Candy pairing: Helena says Sour Patch Kids, Kait says a big novelty lollipop, Renata says cotton candy.

Footnotes: Fug Girls Book Club: Lauren Conrad’s L.A. Candy

“Lauren Conrad Is The World’s Most Successful Reality-TV Defector” by Misty White Sidell

Coming up next: Straight by Chuck Tingle.

It’s our 8th anniversary, and Stephenie Meyer has rudely not written anything new for us to read, so instead we decided to take a page from Diana Gabaldon and time travel through our past. We recorded this supersized Origin Stories episode where we answer listener questions, talk about the history of our friendship and our podcast, and only cry a little bit! Thanks for listening to us for 8! years!

Footnotes: Check out our newly revamped and relaunched merch store on TeePublic! Flash sale until 9/28/22!

The Secret: We don’t understand electricity, but we use it

Matthew McConaughey’s Peace Corps ad

Coming up next: L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad.

We were so thrilled to be joined by Bobby Finger, cohost of the Who? Weekly podcast and author of the upcoming book The Old Place! We read How To Be A Boss Bitch by Christine Quinn, the star of Netflix’s Selling Sunset and confirmed Diva Boss Bitch. This book gave Bobby a chance to share his considerable reality television expertise with us, while we summoned all the knowledge of past self-help books to get through this bitchy, yet derivative read. Listen to this episode while lounging on the yacht that you manifested!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Pre-order The Old Place!

Coming up next: Our 8th Anniversary Special!

We are once again returning to the rosy world of The Bachelor with our special guest Rebecca Kim Wells (@RebeccaWriting), Bachelor fan and the author of Shatter The Sky, Storm The Earth, and Briar Girls. This time we had the good sense to read Miss Me With That by Rachel Lindsay, a woman who found love on reality television and then was smart enough to walk away from the franchise.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 159 – The First Time

“Rachel Lindsay and Raven Gates: A Timeline of the ‘Bachelor’ Alums’ Friendship and Falling Out” by Erin Crabtree

“Alexis Is Dolphinitely A Shark On ‘The Bachelor'” by Martha Sorren

‘The Bachelorette’: “Whaboom” Guy Admits He Went on the Show for Fame” by Christina Schoellkopf

Coming up next: How To Be a Boss Bitch by Christine Quinn.

Our sweet Flashback Summer is finally over and we’ve reluctantly returned to the world of modern publishing. Dee Ernst, author of Lucy Checks In, joined us to discuss the certified #BookTok sensation, The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood. We’ll unpack this Star Wars fanfiction turned fake dating romance novel, google Adam Driver’s height, and lament the lack of porgs. Listen to this episode while curing cancer!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Reddit Thread: The Love Hypothesis, Who is Who?

Reddit Thread: Looking for a Copy of Head over Feet

Meet the Porgs: The Cutest Stars in the Galaxy by Jodi Guglielmi

6 Things You Didn’t Know About Adam Driver by Temi Adebowale

Fanfiction 101

Coming up next: Miss Me With That by Rachel Lindsay.

It’s our 200th episode! Which means we have read approximately 200 books, and therefore we deserve a break. Walt, the professional DM from First Time at the Table (and husband to past podcast guest Annie Cardi), led a delightful Dungeons & Dragons adventure set in the magical world of Duartensia. Kait played as The Rock, Renata played as Wolverine, and past guest Danielle (of Hello World Tarot) played as Angela Weber. Listen now to find out if these chaotic adventurers can restore good literature to the land!

Footnotes: First Time At The Table (use promo code WORSTBEST for 10% off!)

Hello World Tarot (use promo code WORSTBEST for 10% off!)

Wolverine’s Character Sheet

Episode #104 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular

Coming up next: The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood.

When we asked Chris Collision (cohost of I Don’t Even Own A Television) for his Flashback Summer choice of childhood favorite book, he surprised us with a title we’d never heard of before. And then Diane Duane surprised us with The Door Into Fire, a delightfully queer fantasy novel that was so great, we couldn’t believe we hadn’t heard of it before! Listen to this episode while riding your hot fire horse through the Waste.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Diane Duane’s Door Into Starlight Status Update

The Door Into Fire ebook

Coming up next: 200th Episode Dazzling Spectacular!

Happy Fourth of July! Buy Westing Paper Products! Flashback Summer continues with a book that’s such a stone-cold classic, we strongly advise that you not listen to this episode if you haven’t read The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. Our guest, J.W. Friedman from the I Don’t Even Own a Television podcast, joined us to discuss this iconic mystery that won the 1979 Newbery Medal. Listen to this episode in between checking stock prices on your transistor radio. (But, again, only after you’ve read the book! Please!)

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “8 Uses for an Asparagus Steamer” by Lindsay-Jean Hard.

Coming up next: The Door Into Fire by Diane Duane.

The day has arrived: Renata read her very first Goosebump novel. Courtney Summers, Best Bestselling author of books like The Project and the upcoming I’m The Girl, joined us to discuss Night of the Living Dummy by R. L. Stine. Please rate this episode 10/10 Splats in the Apple Podcasts store.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes:

Episode #54 – R. L. Stine

Episode #152 – Mallory and the Trouble With Twins

Episode #177 – Baby-Sitters Beware

Slappy the Dummy on Goosebumps Fan Wiki

‘A small corner of the internet is obsessed with ‘Long Furbies’ and the creations are both disturbing and hilarious” by Julie Gerstein

Pangur & Grim

Coming up next: The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin.

As the earth makes another journey around the sun (allegedly), we return to Flashback Summer. Writer Annie Cardi (@AnnieCardi) returned to the show to discuss A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L’Engle, a formative read for many 90s children who aspired to be psychic marine biologists. Listen on your way to the beach, and make sure to share it with any dolphins who might want to listen in!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “The World” by Henry Vaughn

Depresh Mode #61 – Maggie Smith

“Good Bones” by Maggie Smith

“Try to Praise the Mutilated World” by Adam Zagajewski

Mariah Carey Can Speak Dolphin

Coming up next: Goosebumps #7: Night of the Living Dummy by R.L. Stine.

Sure, we at Worst Bestsellers have read several self-help books over the years, but you may be asking: what about the men? Oh, you weren’t asking? Well, Dave Hollis (ex-husband of Rachel) is concerned, and he wrote Get Out Of Your Own Way to help men understand that they have problems too. And we made that Margaret Willison‘s problem, as she returned to discuss this book with us. Turn your volume up to bless up!

Our friends at Porter Square Books hosted us for this virtual live show! If you watched it on Crowdcast: thank you so much for joining us! This is just the audio from that event for those of you who prefer not to see our faces. (The video is still archived and you can watch it here if you’d like. You can also watch the archived video of our previous virtual live show at PSB discussing Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis here.)

Readers advisory: Here (via Porter Square Books).

Footnotes: Ally, Ally, Ally, or Ali Slides

Episode 170 – Didn’t See That Coming

Episode 144 – Girl, Wash Your Face

Appointment Television

Coming up next: A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L’Engle.

We asked a djinn to bring us a book that could be adapted into a video game, a Netflix series, and a podcast episode, and we got The Witcher: The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. We were joined by Arielle to discuss this book that, to our great surprise, was actually pretty good–and best of all, didn’t even have a fantasy map in it. Hire a bard to perform this episode for you in your local tavern!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “What Was Geralt’s Last Wish in The Witcher?” by Sadie Gennis.

Coming up next: Get Out Of Your Own Way by Dave Hollis.

Every once in awhile it’s nice to read something that’s so bad it truly reminds us why we do what we do. We were joined by Rachel Andelman (of Union Comedy, Improv Boston, 2MB Studios, and Smiling Women Comix) to discuss The Maze Runner by James Dashner. Listen to this episode on your next long, pointless run!

Content warning: It turns out that James Dashner was dropped by his agent and publisher following accusations of sexual harassment in 2018 and we didn’t find that out until we checked his wiki page at the very end of recording, so sorry for not mentioning that earlier in the episode!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Dylan O’Brien Is Ready to Talk About That Accident” by Kyle Buchanan

I Don’t Even Own a Television #119 – The Maze Runner

The Maze Runner IMDB Trivia

Coming up next: The Witcher: The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski.

What’s new, pussycat? We were joined by Meredith Goldstein, the Boston Globe’s Love Letters columnist and podcaster (and author of Things That Grow), to discuss Catwoman: Soulstealer by Sarah J. Maas. It’s a book about DC’s horniest character written by one of the horniest YA authors of our time, so why was this book so focused on serious medical conditions? Listen to this episode while you prepare for your next gala.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Ranking 10 Batman actors from best to worst” by Meredith Goldstein

Coming up next: The Maze Runner by James Dashner.

Announcement: On Thursday, April 14th at 8PM Eastern, we’ll be doing a virtual live show presented by Porter Square Books! Our very special guest Margaret H. Willison will join us to discuss Get Out Of Your Own Way by Dave Hollis (aka the man whose divorce was washed by Rachel Hollis). The event is free and will be recorded and archived if you can’t make it on the 14th.

Register here!

The Worst Best Friends have reconvened at the high school carnival! Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, the kissing booth is closed, but returning guests Anna and Alene (aka the Bellwether Friends) still joined us to discuss The Kissing Booth by Beth Reekles. We discussed Wattpad, why the movie is better than the book, and what our own summer dance prom masquerades were like. If you ask nicely, maybe the barista will play this episode over the sound system at the sit-down Starbucks.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode #79 – Dark Archer

“The Kissing Booth: How a Newport teen author inspired Netflix”

“‘Kissing Booth 2’: Meet Beth Reekles, the young author behind the popular Netflix rom-coms” by Carly Mallenbaum

“Netflix Releases Some More Fuzzy Viewing Data: Congrats, ‘The Kissing Booth’!” by Rick Porter

One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful

Plain White Ts – I Really Want You

Coming up next: Catwoman: Soulstealer by Sarah J. Maas.

Kait and Renata were left unattended and their love tanks were running pretty low, so they turned to The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. This one has been kicking around since 1992, and you know what? Some parts of it were not that bad. Unfortunately, there are also…other parts of it. Listen to this one on your way to your next softball game or funeral!

Readers advisory: Here.

Candy pairing: Kait says M&Ms, Renata says Skittles (with green apple flavor).

Footnotes: What’s Your Love Language Quiz?

“The Creator Of The 5 Love Languages Is A Homophobe And This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” by Kristen Mae

“There’s No Escaping the Five Love Languages” by Katie Heaney

The Gottman Institute on Same-Sex Couples

“Tucker Carlson complains new M&M’s mascots are ‘less sexy'” by Grayson Quay

This American Life Episode #291 – Reunited (And It Feels So Good)

Coming up next: The Kissing Booth by Beth Reekles.

Nora Roberts Month continues with a gracious Southern-style housecall from Heidi and Emily, the cohosts of the Nora Roberts podcast Romancing the Shelf. For this podcast crossover event, we discussed Nora’s 1991 thriller Carnal Innocence. It’s the story of a serial killer in a small Southern town and aspects of it have not aged well. Listen now to find out how to sign up for a true crime LARP!

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it includes sexual assault, murder, child abuse, racism, and hate crimes.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Romancing the Shelf: Carnal Innocence

Romancing the Shelf on Instagram

Worst Bestsellers Episode #169 – Divine Evil

Coming up next: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

We’re once again starting the year with a visit from our Nora Roberts expert, Christine. This time we read Brazen Virtue, a murder mystery-romance novel from 1988 that has been mystifyingly adapted into a 2022 Netflix original movie. This episode costs $1.99 per minute to listen to via long-distance phone call.

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it includes rape and murder.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: A Statement from Nora Roberts Re: Alyssa Milano

“Nora Roberts defends Alyssa Milano’s casting in adaptation of Brazen Virtue” by Maureen Lee Lenker

“Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Finale Fails to Reckon with Its Pro-cop Legacy” by s.e. smith

Coming up next: Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts.

Another year has come and gone, and Kait and Renata are here to make lemonade out of the lemons of 2021. We each picked our top 6 books of the year and discussed some other highlights of the year.

Footnotes: The Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2021, featuring Renata’s picks for best middle grade and young adult novels

Taylor Swift

Legends of Tomorrow

Ted Lasso

The West Wing

Fast & Furious: Highway Heist Game

Wingspan

Coming up next: A January hiatus. Happy New Year! We’ll see you in February!

Kait’s Top 6 Best

6.) The Taking of Jake Livingston by Ryan Douglass (Amazon | Bookshop)

5.) The Valley and the Flood by Rebecca Mahoney (Amazon | Bookshop)

4.) The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun (Amazon | Bookshop) 

3.) The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones (Amazon | Bookshop)

2.) Rules for Vanishing (& Our Last Echoes) by Kate Alice Marshall (Amazon | Bookshop)

1.) The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher (Amazon | Bookshop)

Renata’s Top 6 Best

6.) Slaughterhouse-Five: The Graphic Novel by Kurt Vonnegut, Ryan North, and Albert Monteys (Amazon | Bookshop)

5.) The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green (Amazon | Bookshop)

4.) A Little Devil in America by Hanif Abdurraqib (Amazon | Bookshop)

3.) The Warmth of Other Suns (& Caste) by Isabel Wilkerson (Amazon | Bookshop)

2.) Tacky by Rax King (Amazon | Bookshop)

1.) White Magic by Elissa Washuta (Amazon | Bookshop)

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Our beloved patrons voted on a book for us to read, and they chose The President is Missing by James Patterson and Bill Clinton. We still love them, and we also love returning guest Carrie for reading this book even though she didn’t have to. Listen now before some terrorists delete the entire internet!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Unclear and Present Danger podcast

Coming up next: Bests of 2021.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

All we want for Christmas is…another celebrity memoir, and Mariah Claus delivered. We read The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey with Michaela Angela Davis and enjoyed our visit to Mariah’s realm. Listen to this episode on your way to visit your lambily!

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of child neglect, domestic abuse, and racism.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Mariah Carey Explains Why She Tweeted That “Thanksgiving Is Cancelled” by Bianca Betancourt

“This Throwback Photo Of Mariah Carey & Will Smith Will Give You All The ’90s Feels” by Brad Witter

“This Video Of Mariah Carey Communicating With A Dolphin Has Over 30,000 Retweets, Like She Is Actually Speaking Dolphin” by Matt Stopera

“The Summer That ‘I Don’t Know Her’ Became the Most Crushing Celebrity Shade” by Kenzie Bryant

Mariah Carey’s Ice Cream Meltdown on TRL

Mariah Carey’s Weddings in Photos

“Mariah Carey smashes pumpkins to kick off Christmas season: ‘It’s time'” by Nick Romano

“27 Burning Questions About Mariah Carey’s New McDonald’s Ad” by Dave Holmes

How Did This Get Made #94 – Glitter

Coming up next: The President Is Missing by James Patterson and Bill Clinton.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Hold on, Mariah, it’s still spooky season around here for a few more days. We read Yours Cruelly, Elvira by Cassandra Peterson and had a scary-good time getting to know the Mistress of the Dark (and her girlfriend)! Listen to this podcast while updating your list of enemies.

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of child abuse, sexual assault, miscarriages, and old-fashioned light misogyny and racism.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Meet Teresa Wierson, Elvira’s Girlfriend of 19 Years” by Raffy Ermac

“Elvira: Tom Jones took my virginity, I needed stitches, and he ditched me” on CeleBitchy

Coming up next: The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

After reading Go Ask Alice last year, we were still left with some lingering questions about issues facing teens. Like, drugs are bad, but what about doing occult rituals? Are they okay if you’re only using them to win high school debate tournaments? To find out, we read another book from Beatrice Sparks’ Anonymous Diaries series, Jay’s Journal. Join us for another spine-tingling episode with our beloved former editor Becca!

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of death by suicide, animal abuse, drug use, sexual assault, and a lot of confusing cultural appropriation.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 163 – Go Ask Alice

“Teen Death Diary” by Ben Dieterle

Alden’s Brother’s Amazon Review of Jay’s Journal

Grady Hendrix on Jay’s Journal

Coming up next: Yours Cruelly, Elvira by Cassandra Peterson.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We were joined by our Caftan Club sisters, Grace and Ashley, to discuss a bestseller that was so bad it had to be removed from publication: Michelle Remembers by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder. The book represents irresponsible therapeutic practices as well as irresponsible journalism, but at least it’s also uncomfortably horny! Listen while assembling your 13-piece evil bench from evil Ikea.

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains non-graphic discussions of miscarriage, child abuse, animal abuse, sexual assault, and a lot of generally gross stuff.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: You’re Wrong About: Michelle Remembers.

The Shrink Next Door podcast

“The destructive conspiracy theory that Victoria unleashed upon the world” by Jen Gerson

“The Real Victims of Satanic Ritual Abuse” by Linda Rodriguez McRobbie

“Real ‘Sybil’ Admits Multiple Personalities Were Fake” by Lynn Neary

Coming up next: Jay’s Journal by Anonymous.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

This is our seventh anniversary episode! We’ve been podcasting for much longer than the titular character of The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner has been a vampire. We’d been putting off reading this Twilight novella because we suspected there wouldn’t be too much to talk about, and well, we were kinda right. Still, we had a great time talking to our all-time most frequent guest Carrie again. Plus, we experienced some of the Friendship Challenges from the Twilight: Eclipse card game, and I think it’s safe to say we all grew from the experience. Listen to this episode while politely petitioning Stephenie Meyer to write another book! #WheresFred

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes:

When this novella was released in 2010, Stephenie Meyer pledged $1 from the sale of each copy to go towards earthquake relief in Haiti, and ended up donating a total of $1.5 million.

As there was another earthquake in Haiti, and inspired by SMeyer’s charitable example, this month we donated $150 of our Patreon proceeds to Partners in Health, an NGO that does a lot of good work in Haiti and elsewhere.

Stephenie Meyer’s ‘Bree Tanner’ Raises $1.5 Million for Red Cross by Amy Wilkinson

Quileute Move to Higher Ground

Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game

Episode 158 – Midnight Sun

Episode 133 – The Host

Episode 107 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular

Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn

Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death

Episode 31 – New Moon

Episode 01 – Twilight

Coming up next: Michelle Remembers by Lawrence Pazder & Michelle Smith.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’ve read a lot of popular books over the years, but this episode might be the one most likely to make men on the internet yell at us. Oh well! We’ve already read The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley and there’s no turning back now. Phillip Mottaz, author of The Murderous Haircut of the Mayor of Bel Air, joined us at the local dump to discuss this extremely influential–perhaps too influential–Batman graphic novel.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Squirrel Girl on Dump Teens

Bruno on the Batman Wiki

“What was the conflict between Green Arrow and Superman that lead him to lose his hand?” on Quora

“Frank Miller: ‘I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said those things'” by Sam Thielman

Coming up next: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer is over, and yet we’re still talking about a TV show that ended almost 20 years ago. We were joined by Buffy enthusiast Talia to discuss Slayer by Kiersten White, a YA book set in the world of a TV show that ended before today’s teens were born. It’s a publishing choice that confuses us, but hey–the book itself is pretty good! Listen to this episode to get your blood pumping before vampire fight club.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Gwendolyn Post on the Buffy Wiki

Merrick on the Buffy Wiki

“Kiersten White answers all your burning ‘Slayer’ questions” by Karen Rought

Coming up next: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer has moved past our time with the Baby-Sitters Club to revisit another enterprising teen girl, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We read a vintage Buffy tie-in novel, Halloween Rain by Christopher Golden and Nancy Holder, with our guest THE Meredith Goldstein, the Boston Globe’s Love Letters columnist and author of books like Things That Grow and Can’t Help Myself. This book may contradict established Buffy canon, but at least it also has some very dated pop culture references in it! Play this episode over the sound system at the Bronze.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Sunnydale Mall on the Buffyverse wiki

Slayerfest 98 podcast

“Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby

“Nightmare Before Christmas‘ Sally Gets to Shine in a New YA Novel From Shea Ernshaw” by James Whitbrook

Coming up next: Slayer by Kiersten White.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

The Baby-Sitters Club’s worst nightmare was a dream come true for us, as Courtney Summers, best-bestselling author of books like The Project and Sadie, joined us to discuss The Baby-Sitters Club Super Mystery #2: Baby-Sitters Beware by Ann M. Martin. Courtney identified this title as a formative book for her, and you simply can’t argue with the results that have come from this foundation. Listen to this in the station wagon on your way to Shadow Lake!

Readers advisory: Here.

Number of stars: Ten **********

Footnotes: Nola Thacker on the BSC Wiki

Michelle Kwan Presents Skating Dreams series

Coming up next: Halloween Rain (Buffy the Vampire Slayer series) by Christopher Golden and Nancy Holder.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

This Flashback Summer episode found Kait & Renata home alone, no cool teen baby-sitter nor responsible adult around to monitor their bedtime. Things got a little loopy. You’ve been warned. We read several books from the Baby-Sitters Little Sister series: Karen’s Plane Trip, Karen’s Witch, Karen’s Ghost, and Karen’s Kittykat Club, all “by” Ann M. Martin. We made zero jokes about “Karens,” because Karen Brewer transcends that cliche and would only ask to talk to your manager if she thought your manager might know a good scary story. Listen to this episode to briefly distract yourself from the horrors of climate change!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Life Lessons We Learned from Baby-Sitters Little Sister

Coming up next: The Baby-Sitters Club Super Mystery #2: Baby-Sitters Beware by Ann M. Martin.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read Baby-Sitters Club #7, Claudia and Mean Janine and Baby-Sitters Club #40, Claudia and the Middle School Mystery, both by Ann M. Martin. We were thrilled to spend more time with the coolest kid in Stoneybrook, and especially thrilled to discuss her with Susan Tan, author of the Cilla Lee-Jenkins books. Listen to this episode while hiding junk food and Nancy Drew novels around your bedroom!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “‘The Claudia Kishi Club’ is a love letter to the beloved ‘Baby-Sitters Club’ character” by Yi-Jin Yu

“Claudia and the Baby-Sitters Club Books We Really Needed”

Coming up next: Karen’s Plane Trip by Ann M. Martin.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re putting the “summer” in Flashback Summer by going to camp with our friends, the Baby-Sitters Club (and also our friend literary agent Amy Stern). We read Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #2: Baby-sitters’ Summer Vacation and Baby-Sitters Club Friends Forever Super Special #1: Everything Changes, both by Ann M. Martin. We loved revisiting these books, but we’re not sure we’d send any children to visit Camp Mohawk. Listen to this episode while researching the summer camp accreditation process!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “How The Baby-Sitters Club Made Social Justice Fun for Tweens” by Ashley Fetters

“These 19 Institutions Are the Best Summer Camps in the Country” by Nadine Jolie Courtney

Coming up next: Claudia and Mean Janine by Ann M. Martin.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re kicking off Flashback Summer by going to a galaxy far, far away and a long time ago. We read the non-canonical Star Wars Legends novel The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton with Star Wars Enthusiast Zayne. If you’re a Star Wars fan of a certain vintage, you might be grimacing with recognition here. If you haven’t heard of this book, you might be thinking it would be nice to see Han and Leia’s courtship and marriage. Unfortunately: it isn’t. It isn’t nice at all. If you ask your 3PO unit nicely, perhaps they will play this episode over their speakers for you.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Star Wars Legends

“Who Gets To Be ‘Hapa’?” by Akemi Johnson

Coming up next: Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #2: Baby-sitters’ Summer Vacation! by Ann M. Martin.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We wanted to bring some girl power to Celebrity Memoir May, so returning guest Sophi joined us to read No Walls And The Recurring Dream by Ani DiFranco. If you”re thinking that that title is a little wordy and incoherent, you have a good idea of what the book is like. Listen to hear three long-time Ani DiFranco fans learn that you should never meet your heroes, or read their memoirs.

Content warning: This book contains descriptions of child neglect and sexual assault.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Ani DiFranco Is ‘Remarkably Unapologetic’ About Slave Plantation Retreat” by Mallika Rao

Ani DiFranco Is Tired of Talking About Herself (So Here She Goes Again) by Rich Juzwiak

Women’s Festival Must Choose Between Indigo Girls and the Transgender Ban

New PSA Examines Experiences of Transgender Survivors with a Message that RAINN is Here for Everyone

‘The Rock’ buys a scoop of Portland ice cream — Dwayne Johnson takes a stake in Salt & Straw by Mike Rogoway

Coming up next: The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Alright, alright, alright! Even though time is a flat circle, we’re celebrating Celebrity Memoir May and we’re starting the party with Matthew McConaughey’s book Greenlights. The most surprising part about this book was how much we sincerely enjoyed it. The second most surprising part about this book was all the wet dreams. Seriously, this book was wild and we hope that you will listen to it!

Content warning: This book contains descriptions of child abuse.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Matthew McConaughey Made His Debut on an Old Unsolved Mysteries Episode” by Adrianna Freedman

“Matthew McConaughey may be a viable candidate for Texas governor” by  Robert T. Garrett and Gromer Jeffers Jr.

The just keep livin foundation

Matthew McConaughey Peace Corps PSA

Matthew McConaughey & Camila Alves at Carnaval (this is NOT the photo Renata describes in the podcast but I cannot find it online!!! use your imagination to get the rest)

Coming up next: No Walls and the Recurring Dream by Ani DiFranco.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We learned so much from discussing Rachel Hollis’s book Girl, Wash Your Face with Margaret H. Willison (of Two Bossy Dames, Appointment Television, and NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour) that we simply had to reunite to discuss her latest book, Didn’t See That Coming. Brace yourself for the most shocking revelation: this book made us cry.

Our friends at Porter Square Books hosted us for this virtual live show! If you watched it on Crowdcast: thank you so much for joining us! This is just the audio from that event for those of you who prefer not to see our faces. (The video is still archived and you can watch it here if you’d like.)

Content warning: This book contains discussion of suicide.

Note: This episode was recorded before Rachel’s whole “comparing herself to Harriet Tubman” thing.

Readers advisory: Here (via Porter Square Books).

Footnotes: Episode 144 – Girl, Wash Your Face

Coming up next: Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

It’s been a scary year, so we returned to the loving embrace of Our Lady Nora Roberts. Even though her 1992 novel Divine Evil is about a Satanic cult, we still felt safe in the small town of Emmitsboro, especially with our returning guest, Christine. Listen to this podcast on the long drive back to your charming hometown from the Big City.

Content warning: This book contains sexual assault, murder, and potential suicide.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: You’re Wrong About: The Satanic Panic

You’re Wrong About Book Club: Michelle Remembers

American Hysteria: The Satanic Panic

Coming up next: Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We teamed up with Anna and Alene of the Bellwether Friends again! We reconvened the Worst Best Friends to discuss the important topic of Bridgerton. Not the Netflix series, but one of the books that inspired it–The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Unfortunately, the book is neither as horny nor as diverse as the series, but we persevered. Listen to this episode to drown out the sound of your seven siblings squabbling!

Announcement: Worst Bestsellers is doing a live virtual show hosted by Porter Square Books with special guest Margaret H. Willison! It will be Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM ET. And it’s free! Sign up here.

Content warning: This book contains child abuse and dubious sexual consent.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Bridgerton‘s Controversial Sex Scene Needs a Trigger Warning” by McKenzie Jean-Philippe

“Bridgerton Has a Lot to Learn About Consent, and So Does Everyone Else” by Princess Weekes

“Phoebe Dynevor Responded to All the People Talking About Her Neck on Bridgerton” by Elizabeth Logan

“How Bridgerton Officially Became Netflix’s Biggest Hit Ever” by Joanna Robinson

Coming up next: Divine Evil by Nora Roberts.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Announcement: On Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM Eastern, we’ll be doing a virtual live show presented by Porter Square Books! Our very special guest Margaret H. Willison will join us to discuss Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis (aka Girl, Wash Your Divorce). The event is free and will be recorded and archived if you can’t make it on the 31st.

Register here!

Remember the Left Behind series? Did you know it also had a middle grade spinoff series about what would happen to the ungodly children who were left behind when their parents were Raptured? Well: it did, and we read book #1, The Vanishings by Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye, along with our sisters in our cult club, Ashley and Grace. Listen now if you want to be saved!

Announcement: Worst Bestsellers is doing a live virtual show hosted by Porter Square Books with special guest Margaret H. Willison! It will be Wednesday, March 31st at 8PM ET. And it’s free! Sign up here.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Parcast Cults podcast

American Hysteria podcast

Oh No Ross and Carrie podcast

“The Trials of the Tribulation” by Michael Joseph Gross

“Let’s Punk the Rapture” by Mat Honan

Coming up next: The Duke & I (Bridgerton) by Julia Quinn.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

You’re not dreaming–we did read a bestseller that’s widely considered to be “good,” The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler. We teamed up with Amanda and Geoffrey from the podcast Dirt Cheap to investigate: is it actually a good book? Who is the murderer? Where can a guy find some good pornographic material in this town? Listen to this episode on your next stakeout!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Dirt Cheap 

Wolverine: The Long Night podcast

Coming up next: The Vanishings (Left Behind: The Kids #1) by Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’re back from our hiatus! We spent the off-season training hard so we’d be better at *checks notes* Exy, the cool co-ed sport favored by characters in The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic. We were joined by Rachel and Adrienne of the podcast After Adult to read the first novel by this self-published superstar. Listen to this episode while doing your fake sports warmups. Good hustle!

Content warnings: This book contains child abuse, sexual assault, stigmatization of mental health care, and violence. Our discussion of it touches on these topics though not in graphic detail.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: After Adult: Talking Fanfic with Worst Bestsellers

Fanfiction 101

“Sports-Themed Queer YA Series an Indie Hit” by Jennifer McCartney

Boys In Our Books Q&A With Nora Sakavic

The Foxhole Court on Smashwords

Candy pairing: Adrienne says Japanese rice cracker candy, Kait says Raven’s Revenge, Rachel says candy cigarettes, Renata says a candy prepared by Bitterblue’s Graced chef for her nemesis.

Coming up next: The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

In more precedented years, we’ve picked our favorite and least favorite books that we read each year outside of the podcast. But in 2020, we were too busy just trying to get through the year to do much recreational reading. Instead,  Kait and Renata convened to discuss the top ten things that helped each of them make it through this year. Tune in to hear us discuss all of these things, and keep reading to see links and pictures!

Note: after this episode, we’re taking a short hiatus to attempt to recover from 2020. We’ll be back in February 2021!

Kait’s Top Ten 2020 All-Stars

10) Gem painting 

• PaintGem
• Paint With Diamonds

9) Blackbird Doughnuts

8) Stardew Valley

• Who Is The Most Eligible Bachelor in Stardew Valley?

7) Jackbox Games

• Trivia Murder Party
• Tee-KO
• Drawful
• Quiplash

6) Murder shows

• My Favorite Murder
• Unsolved Mysteries
• Vanity Fair Confidential
• People Magazine Investigates
• Law and Order: Criminal Intent
• Criminal Minds

5) The Magnus Archives

• AO3 works in Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives)

4) Animal Crossing

• ‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ Is the Game We All Need Right Now
• Why Animal Crossing Is the Game for the Coronavirus Moment

3) Barclay/Indrid

• AO3 works in Barclay/Indrid Cold (The Adventure Zone)
• grace coming out of the void
• The Adventure Zone: Amnesty
• Why My TAZ Amnesty Ship is Superior to Griffin’s

2) The McElroys

• The Empty Bowl
• Sawbones
• MBaMBaM Animations

1) My nephew

Renata’s Top Ten 2020 All-Stars

10) Old Wii Fitness games

• Gold’s Gym Cardio Workout
• Just Dance 2
• Get Fit With Mel B

9) Baby Yoda

• Werner Herzog Was Brought to Tears by Baby Yoda

8) Lady pop stars

• Taylor Swift – Folklore (and Evermore!)
• Kesha – High Road
• Lady Gaga – Chromatica
• Ariana Grande – Positions

7) Snail mail

6) Who Weekly

5) The Golden Girls

• Why Gay Men Still Love “The Golden Girls”

4) Greb Comics

3) DC Comics shows

• Legends of Tomorrow
• CW Hire Me To Promote Your Shows Please
• Chosen One Of The Day: Beebo, Your Lord And Master
• How Legends of Tomorrow Is Subverting Toxic Masculinity At Every Turn
• Harley Quinn
• Harley Quinn EPs Talk The Evolution of HarlIvy and Plans For Season 3
• Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are Finally Getting the On-Screen Romance They Deserve in DC Universe’s Animated Series
• Gotham

https://twitter.com/renatasnacks/status/1296581572494336000

The Harley Quinn show reading its target comic book bro fandom for absolute filth. pic.twitter.com/OQrwEyA0T7

— find tyler huckabee on bluesky (@TylerHuckabee) February 22, 2020

2) Animal Crossing

1) Animals generally, Duarte specifically

• Bodega Cats of Instagram
• RuPaw’s Drag Race
• Gary the Cat
• Kitten Academy
• Manggo the Cat
• Cincinnati Zoo (feat Fiona the Hippo)
• Baby Chip and Mama Latke
• Possum Every Hour
• And every Best Listener who’s shared pictures of their pets listening to Duarte’s Corner 😻

PS: my Top Ten Best Books of 2020 are on the blog! And the Boston Globe’s Best Books of 2020, including my picks for MG and YA books, are here!

Per the request of our wonderful Patreon patrons, our editor Becca joined us to discuss the anti-drug cautionary tale Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (aka Beatrice Sparks). Reading it in 2020, we’re not sure what’s harder to believe: that this ever deterred anyone from using drugs, or that anyone ever believed it was actually the diary of a human teenager. We’re grateful to our patrons for supporting us, and just as grateful that we’ve never been invited to any parties where someone slipped LSD into our soda.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Paul F. Tompkins – “Go Ask Alice”

“Lines From Go Ask Alice That, In Hindsight, Should Have Tipped Me Off That This Was Not A True Story” by Daniel Lavery

“The Book That Defined My Teen Anxiety Turned Out to Be a Lie” by Sloane Tanen

“A Queer Reading of Go Ask Alice” by Frankie Thomas

Amazon review of Go Ask Alice by the author of Drugs Make You Un-Smarter

Candy pairing: Becca says any candy that isn’t secretly acid, Kait says pot gummies, Renata says orange yeast rolls.

Coming up next: Bests of 2020.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Like a newborn vampire, we’re always thirsty for more supernatural teen drama around here. We turned to a finely-aged vintage, The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1) by L. J. Smith, and we were thrilled to be joined by Lily Sparks (@lilyroro), author of non-vampire, but still high stakes, YA novel Teen Killers Club. Join us as we extoll all the ways L. J. Smith’s teen vampires are cooler than Stephenie Meyer’s teen vampires, including the best take on a love triangle we’ve ever seen in our storied history.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Carmilla (YouTube series)

“Italy’s annual calcio storico tournament — part football, part MMA — is a brutal sight to behold” by Paolo Bandini

Candy pairing: Kait says Hershey’s Special Dark Kisses, Lily says a vanished spicy-sour candy of her youth, Renata says mini Milky Way Midnights.

Coming up next: Go Ask Alice by Anonymous.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read a semi-fictional, semi-self-published, completely bonkers book about the inner workings of the reality show Model Muse which is, of course, legally distinct from the long-running reality show America’s Next Top Model. Bestselling author and ANTM superfan Mackenzi Lee joined us to discuss The Wig, The Bitch, And The Meltdown by Jay Manuel.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 161.5 – Extra Video Footage of Kait, Renata, and Mackenzi discussing The Wig, The Bitch, And The Meltdown

“The real reason Jay Manuel from ‘ANTM’ made his debut novel fiction, not a memoir” by KC Ifeanyi

Coming up next: The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1) by L.J. Smith.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

It’s spooky season, so we revisited a classic of our childhoods: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn. It was a nice change of pace to read a competently-written book, so we had to spend most of our time raging against the poor parenting on display in this book. Our guest Rebecca Mahoney (@cafecliche)’s debut novel, The Valley and the Flood, comes out in February 2021, so listen to this episode while pre-ordering your copy! PS: Sorry for some extra sound issues on this episode. It was a ghost probably?

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Wait Till Helen Comes movie trailer

Candy Pairing:  Kait says a candy apple, Rebecca says Tootsie Roll pops, Renata says sour apple Jolly Ranchers.

Coming up next: The Wig, The Bitch, and The Meltdown by Jay Manuel.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We read The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking For Love on Reality TV by Colton Underwood with our special guest Rebecca Kim Wells (@RebeccaWriting), Bachelor fan and the author of Shatter The Sky and Storm The Earth. If you didn’t already know (or guess from the title), Colton was a contestant on The Bachelorette and later a Bachelor who famously told the world via reality television that he was a 26-year-old virgin. Colton brought a lot of baggage to the Bachelor mansion so we have much to unpack!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 04 – I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends

Episode 04.5 – I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, Part 2

All The Pretty Pandas

“Cassie Randolph Says COVID-19 Had ‘Nothing to Do with’ Colton Underwood Split” by Robyn Merrett

“Colton Underwood Denies Cassie Randolph’s Accusations That the Former Bachelor Is Trying to ‘Monetize’ Their Split” by Sarah Hearon

“Bachelor’s Colton Underwood Explains Where He Stands With Ex Cassie Randolph, the Truth About the New Chapter” by Johnni Macke

“Cassie Randolph Files for Restraining Order Against Colton Underwood 3 Months After Split” by Erin Crabtree

“Meet Alex Dillon, the Boston woman who dressed as a sloth on ‘The Bachelor’” by Kevin Slane

“The 15 Best Looks From Colton’s ‘The Bachelor’ Season Premiere Are So Damn Cute” by Theresa Massony

Candy Pairing:  Kait says fundraiser candy for a football team, Rebecca says Three Musketeers, Renata says the cherry on top of a Steak N Shake milkshake.

Coming up next: Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

There’s a lot that’s bad about 2020, but hey, we’ve made it to our 6th anniversary! We are feeling extremely #blessed that Stephenie Meyer saw fit to release Midnight Sun just in time for this momentous occasion. Even so, we indulged in some day drinking with our very first guest Carrie to get through this book. We’re planning to record a sober Q&A follow-up episode, so if you have questions about the book that were left unanswered by our tangent-filled episode, please email them to us at worstbestsellers at gmail dot com. Thanks for listening to us for six years (?!)

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: 

In a small effort to give back to the real people whose culture Stephenie Meyer appropriated as part of her saga, we donated $76.98 out of our @Patreon funds, the amount we spent on 3 copies of MIDNIGHT SUN, to the Quileute Tribal Council’s fund. https://t.co/ktT2ylkhkJ pic.twitter.com/jyBpvdYNmn

— Worst Bestsellers (@worstbestseller) August 14, 2020

Quileute Move to Higher Ground

Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game

Episode 133 – The Host

Episode 107 – 4th Anniversary Twilight Spectacular

Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn

Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death

Episode 31 – New Moon

Episode 01 – Twilight

Griffin and David Present The Phantom Podcast

The Batman Teaser Trailer

Team Alice Fanart

Candy Pairing:  Carrie says candy corn pumpkins, Kait says Twilight-branded Sweethearts, Renata says green apple Skittles.

Coming up next: The First Time by Colton Underwood.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Think of the saddest thing you can imagine. No, sadder. Make it fifty times sadder. Okay, you are in the vicinity of comprehending the levels of tragedy porn Wally Lamb has packed into his novel I Know This Much Is True. Because life in 2020 wasn’t already sad enough, and because some of us love Mark Ruffalo, we brought Arielle back to discuss this peak 90s Oprah’s Book Club pick. Content warnings for just about every imaginable potential trigger. We are serious!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “‘This will happen’: Mark Ruffalo moved mountains to make HBO’s new Emmy hopeful” by Meredith Blake

“Why I Almost Stopped Watching ‘I Know This Much Is True’ After the First Episode” by Rebecca Chamaa

Oprah’s Book Club: The Complete List

Candy Pairing:  Arielle says Torrone, Kait says your favorite candy that’s been stomped into the dirt, Renata says generic fundraiser candy.

Coming up next: Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Did you ever wonder what Special Agent Dana Scully was like as a teenager? Did you assume she was probably really into taking classes at her small town’s extremely popular New Age shop? No? Well, she was, and meanwhile also the government was doing some kind of shadowy experiments with unknown goals. That’s according to The X-Files Origins: Devil’s Advocate, an X-Files YA prequel novel by Jonathan Maberry. We’re confused as to why this book was published in 2017, but since it was, we read it with Kait’s True Believer cousin, writer Nicole DeGennaro.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “X-Files Origins: Inside The Mind of Young Fox Mulder With Author Kami Garcia” by Chris Longo

“X-Files Origins: Author Jonathan Maberry on Young Dana Scully’s Path To Belief” by Chris Longo

The Montauk Project on Wikipedia

The Adventure Zone: Amnesty

This chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts prank is pure evil genius

Fanfiction 101

Candy Pairing:  Kait says some dirt, Nicole says Mit-Mats (knock off Kit-Kats), Renata says carob chip cookies.

Coming up next: I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

In an extremely exciting Flashback Summer, we were joined by S. Jae-Jones (aka JJ, aka the New York Times-bestselling author of Wintersong and Shadowsong) to read Redwall by Brian Jacques! Well, it was exciting to talk to JJ. The book itself was…less exciting, although it did raise some questions about how the food chain works in the world of Redwall. Listen on your next journey by horse cart–quickly, before horses get redacted!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Redwall FAQ

Definitive Redwall Body Count

A Complete Redwall Feast Adapted For Your Kitchen

Overdue #307 – Redwall

XKCD #370 – Redwall

Candy Pairing:  JJ says candied chestnuts, Kait says trail mix,  Renata says #herbs.

Coming up next: The X-Files: Ground Zero by Kevin J. Anderson.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Maybe it would be easier to practice social distancing if you knew that someone could literally freeze you solid with a single touch? It’s a theory worth exploring, as our pandemic edition of Flashback Summer continues with Freeze Tag, a Point Horror title by the 90s queen of teen thrillers, Caroline B. Cooney. With our guest Trina (@TrinaMareena) we dug into the story of the ultimate ice queen, and made an important stop along the way to discuss the relative fanciness of Pizza Hut. Stay frosty!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Point Horror: 25 years on, let us praise a forgotten ’90s craze” by Beth Rodgers

“HBO Max to Develop Anthology Series Based on ‘Point Horror’ Books” by Joe Otterson

Don’t Point That Horror at Me podcast

The Devil’s Elbow (Point Horror recaps)

Candy Pairing:  Kait says a Popsicle, Renata says a packet of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, Trina says frozen gummy bears.

Coming up next: Redwall by Brian Jacques.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Say hello to your friends! As Flashback Summer continues, we revisited the small, child-friendly town of Stoneybrook. We read Mallory and the Trouble With Twins by Ann M. Martin with returning guest Liz. Join us on a walk around the mall (remember malls?), where we discuss ear piercing, afterschool snacks, and the moral fortitude it takes to identify as a Mallory.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode #53 – Baby-Sitters Club

Book Recommendations Based On Your Favorite Babysitters From The Baby-Sitters Club by Alison Doherty

Robin Sparkles – Let’s All Go To the Mall

Cobie Smulders – Let’s All Stay at Home

Candy Pairing:  Kait says candy buttons, Liz says a Twix, Renata says a mall pretzel.

Coming up next: Freeze Tag by Caroline B. Cooney.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Flashback Summer is off to the races! Well, kind of. We eventually got to the races after a long slog through the wilderness. We read The Black Stallion Revolts by Walter Farley with returning guest Carrie. It’s the classic story of a horse and a horse boy. And a crime boy. Well, we’re still waiting for the fingerprint analysis to exonerate the crime boy. Listening to this episode might just cure your amnesia!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode #75 – The Saddle Club

I Don’t Even Own a Television #156 – The Danger (Dick Francis series)

Blank Check: War Horse

“When Aliens Join Your Horse Fantasy: Walter Farley’s The Island Stallion Races” by Judith Tarr

Animal House horse scene

Cat trots like a horse

Candy Pairing:  Carrie says spice drops, Kait says oats, Renata says GORP.

Coming up next: Mallory and the Trouble With Twins by Ann M. Martin.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

It’s our 150th episode, and to kick off our 4th Flashback Summer, we asked to hear from you, our listeners. We loved hearing about everyone’s childhood favorite books and sharing a little bit about ours.

Thanks: to Andrew and Craig of Overdue, Alan, Red, JJ (aka S. Jae-Jones, author of Wintersong and other books), Ashley R., Liz J., Genevieve, Devin, Kathryn and Melissa of Truer Words, Madelyn, Lucy, Nora, Imogen, Joyce, Hallie, Sarah Mirk (author of Guantanamo Voices and other books), April, Megan, Ashley K., Meredith Goldstein (Love Letters columnist and author of Chemistry Lessons and other books), Danielle, Meagan, Liz H., Courtney Summers (author of Sadie and other books), Celia, Emma, Rebecca Mahoney (author of The Valley and the Flood), Jess, Josie, Payge, Laura, Ben, Kellie, and Collision & J.W. of I Don’t Even Own a Television for their contributions, and extra thanks to our editor Becca for putting all of these clips together! And thanks to all of you for listening!

Congratulations: to our Flashback Summer raffle winners: Emma, Josie, Joyce, and Madelynn!

Notes: This episode was recorded and assembled weeks ago and contains no references to current events. But we would like to take a moment here to affirm that Black Lives Matter.

Full list of titles referenced in this episode below this cut:

• Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Young Jedi Knights series by Kevin J. Anderson & Rebecca Moesta (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Watership Down by Richard Adams (Amazon | Bookshop)

• The Wainscott Weasel by Tor Seidler (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Redwall by Brian Jacques (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Sunfire series by Candice Ransom et al (Amazon | Bookshop)

• The Mouse and His Child by Russell Hoban (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Rinkitink in Oz by L. Frank Baum (Amazon | Bookshop)
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle (Amazon | Bookshop)

• The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster (Amazon | Bookshop)
• A Porcupine Named Fluffy by Helen Lester (Amazon | Bookshop)

• My Father’s Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Carbonel: The King of Cats by Barbara Sleigh (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Humor, Horror, and the Supernatural by Saki (Amazon | Bookshop)

• The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (Amazon | Bookshop)

• Amelia’s Notebook by Marissa Moss (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin (Amazon | Bookshop)

• Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Just a Summer Romance by Ann M. Martin (Amazon | Bookshop)

• Baby-sitters Club #21: Mallory and the Trouble with Twins by Ann M. Martin (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Baby-sitters Super Mystery #2: Babysitters Beware by Ann M. Martin (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Great Green Notebook of Katie Roberts by Amy Hest & Sonja Lamut (Amazon | Bookshop)

• Animorphs series by K.A. Applegate (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Dollhouse Murders by Betty Ren Wright (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Moorchild by Eloise McGraw (Amazon | Bookshop)

• Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden (Amazon | Bookshop)
• A-Z Mystery series by Ron Roy (Amazon | Bookshop)
• The Girl with the Silver Eyes by Willow Davis Roberts (Amazon | Bookshop)

• Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (Amazon | Bookshop)
• Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn edited by Robert Lynn Asprin (Amazon | Bookshop)

• The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (Amazon | Bookshop)

Bad news: A Werewolf in Riverdale by Caleb Roehrig is not a tie-in to the CW show Riverdale, but rather to the town of Riverdale from the Archie comics. Well–from the Archie Horror comics. Good news: we once again teamed up with J. and Collision from I Don’t Even Own a Television to tackle the big questions raised by this novel, most importantly: did you know that Jughead’s little hat is called a “whoopee cap,” and when Jughead transforms into a werewolf, does he still wear his whoopee cap?

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “The Weird History of Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa” by Avery Kaplan

“A Feud in Wolf-Kink Erotica Raises a Deep Legal Question” by Alexandra Alter

I Don’t Even Own a Television #146 – The Day Before (Riverdale prequel novel)

I Don’t Even Own a Television #157 – Resident Evil II: Caliban Cove (featuring Kait & Renata)

Candy Pairing:  Collision says a Hershey bar when he expected a Mr. Goodbar, Jay says Laffy Taffy, Kait says cold French fries, Renata says a hamburger when she ordered a milkshake.

Coming up next: Flashback Summer Super-Special Edition!

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We like X-Men. Our guest Anna (@lcarslibrarian) likes Star Trek. So we thought it would be fun to read the Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men crossover novel Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman. But it turns out that this exhausting crossover novel spends most of its time focused on a new character who isn’t particularly connected to either franchise. Set your phasers for “none” and don’t read this book!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 49 – X-Men: X-Cutioner’s Song

Episode 50 – X-Men 3: The Last Stand

Tsunkatse (Star Trek Voyager episode feat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson)

Candy Pairing:  Anna says earl grey macarons, Kait says X-Men ice cream, Renata says mixed Jelly Bellies.

Coming up next: A Werewolf in Riverdale by Caleb Roehrig.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

When the going gets tough, the tough get to reading cozy cat mysteries. We read The Fast and the Furriest by Sofie Ryan, the story of a small coastal town plagued with murder and antiquers. Our opinions were split–Renata liked the cat but not the murder, Kait liked the murder but not the cat, and Duarte just hopes that feline detectives are paid a fair wage. Listen to this episode at a safe social distance from any murderers and/or antiquers!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Flashback Summer Featuring…You?

“Crime-Solving Cats And Cozy Mysteries Are A Publishing Juggernaut” by Hillary Kelly

Candy Pairing:  Kait says a cup of tea, Renata says Annie’s fruit snacks.

Coming up next: Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Katharine McGee’s novel American Royals dares to ask: what if the United States had a royal family? And what if the modern-day American royal children were a little bit horny? The Bellwether Friends, Anna and Alene, joined us to discuss this book’s baffling structure, insufficient world-building, and potential Wawa sponsorship.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Bellwether Friends #113 – ABBAsode

Royal Romance: 13 Stories Of Everyday People Who Fall In Love With Royalty by Ann Foster

Red Fox James on Wikipedia

Candy Pairing:  Alene says Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (from Wawa), Anna says a Disney Princess Candy Fan, Kait says old timey penny candy, Renata says a caramel apple.

Coming up next: The Fast and the Furriest by Sofie Ryan.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We’ve been reading too much frivolous lady fiction around here, so we had to make time to read a Serious Book by an Important White Man. Our guest Amy used her human skills of persuasion to get us to read Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan, Finally, someone has dared to ask the questions: what if robots could have emotions and also working penises and also what if the UK had lost the Falklands War?

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Archana and Chandni” by Iona Datt Sharma

“Ian McEwan: ‘Who’s Going to Write the Algorithm for the Little White Lie?'” by Tim Adams

“In McEwan’s Latest, The ‘Machine’ Is Too Much Like You” by Heller McCalpin

Candy Pairing:  Amy says Fry’s Turkish Delight, Kait says a potato battery, Renata says Mystery Airheads.

Coming up next: American Royals by Katharine McGee.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Hey girl, guess what? Your life could be way better than it is right now if you just believed in yourself and also married a high-up Disney executive! Definitely mostly the first thing though. We were joined by Margaret H. Willison (1/2 of Two Bossy Dames, 1/3 of Appointment Television, and one of Pop Culture Happy Hour‘s 4th chairs) to discuss Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, a Christian self-help book that misleadingly contained no skin care advice whatsoever.

Readers advisory: Here.

Transcript: Here.

Footnotes: Rachel Hollis on Jen Hatmaker

Rosie Perez on Bullseye

Girl, Wash Your Face on By the Book

Candy Pairing:  Kait says an Oreo while crying, Margaret says leftover Christmas candy, Renata says a cheese plate.

Coming up next: Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We invited Rebecca Mahoney, co-writer of The Bridge podcast and author of the upcoming YA novel The Valley and the Flood, to be a guest on our new podcast, My Least Favorite Murder. We read novelist Patricia Cornwell’s ambitiously-titled true crime book Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper–Case Closed. Listen now to hear more than you ever wanted to know about a famous painter’s penis!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: A new Ripper mystery: Why Patricia Cornwell won’t stop hunting him by Mary Wakefield

“Whitechapel mural will celebrate the lives of Jack the Ripper’s victims” by Alison Flood

“Historian speaks of ‘constant trolling’ over Jack the Ripper book” by Mark Brown

Sawbones #151 – The Royal Fistula Fad

Sawbones #245 – Medical Illustration

Bear Brook podcast

The Fall Line podcast

In the Dark podcast

Candy Pairing:  Kait says gruel, Rebecca says bachelorette party penis pops, Renata says ginger chews.

Coming up next: Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

As a belated Valentine to ourselves, we invited our friend Angie Manfredi (@MissKubelik), editor of The Other F-Word, back on the show to read a Best Bestseller. We read Scythe by Neal Shusterman, a twisty YA utopia-ish where death is optional and the cloud is your friend. This episode does contain full spoilers for a book that we sincerely recommend reading, so maybe hold off on listening if you’ve been meaning to read Scythe? Or listen to the episode now–in the age of mortality, life is short.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes:

Angie sent me this clip from an interview with Neal Shusterman before we recorded but the actual article seems to have disappeared from the internet???

Four Questions for Neal Shusterman

Candy Pairing: Angie says whatever candy you like best, Kait says a box of chocolates with one poisoned one, Renata says Dippin Dots.

Coming up next: Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper–Case Closed by Patricia Cornwell.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

To ease ourselves back into reading garbage after our winter break, we had returning guest Christine join us for another book by Our Lady Nora Roberts. This time around, we read Midnight Bayou, a Louisiana love story for the ages between a man and home renovations. You’re going to have to turn your volume way up if you want to listen to this episode over all that Mardi Gras ruckus!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Welcome to Noraville, the Small Maryland Town Rebuilt by Nora Roberts” by Esther Wang

Smart Bitches, Trashy Books – Renovation Romances

Candy Pairing:  Christine says rum candy, Kait says a French 75, Renata says beignets.

Coming up next: Scythe by Neal Shusterman.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2019 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites! Please note:

• We counted things that we read in 2019, regardless of publication year.
• We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those.
• For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive!
• Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

Adult

Kait’s Top 5 Best

5.) The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) A Light Amongst Shadows (Dark is the Night Series) by Kelley York and Rowan Altwood (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Kait’s Worst

Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Top 5 Best

5.) Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts by Kate Racculia (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) Thick and Other Essays by Tressie McMillan Cottom (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) My Life as a Goddess by Guy Branum (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Worst

No Walls and the Recurring Dream by Ani DiFranco (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Graphic Novels

Kait’s Top 5 Best

5.) The Life of Melody by Mari Costa (Kickstarter)

4.) Sheets by Brenna Thummler (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) Bloom by Kevin Panetta & Savanna Ganucheau (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) The White Trees by Chip Zdarsky, Kristofer Anka, & Matt Wilson (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) Crowded by Christopher Sebela, Ro Stein, Ted Brandt, Triona Farrell, & Cardinal Rae (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

An excerpt from Crowded (click to embiggen)!

Kait’s Worst

War of the Realms: Journey into Mystery by The McElroys & André Lima Araújo (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Top 5 Best

5.) Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Derek Charm (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki & Rosemary Valero-O’Connell (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) This Was Our Pact by Ryan Andrews (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) The Faithful Spy by John Hendrix (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) New Kid by Jerry Craft (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

An excerpt from New Kid (click to embiggen)!

Renata’s Worst

Doctor Strange, Vol. 3: Herald, by Mark Waid, Barry Kitson, Scott Koblish, & Brian Reber (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2019 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites! Please note:

• We counted things that we read in 2019, regardless of publication year.
• We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those.
• For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive!
• Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

Children’s/Middle Grade

Kait’s Top 5 Best

5.) The Night Diary by Veera Hiranandani (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Dactyl Hill Squad by Daniel Jose Older (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) The Forgotten Girl by India Hill Brown (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) Midsummer’s Mayhem by Rajani LaRocca (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) Small Spaces by Katherine Arden (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Kait’s Worst

My Life as an Ice Cream Sandwich by Ibi Zoboi (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Top 5 Best

5.) Roll With It by Jamie Sumner (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Good Enough by Jen Petro-Roy (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) Sauerkraut by Kelly Jones (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) Blended by Sharon Draper (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) Dear Sweet Pea by Julie Murphy (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Worst

Witch Week by Diana Wynne Jones (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Young Adult

Kait’s Top 5 Best

5.) Keep This to Yourself by Tom Ryan (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Love From A to Z by S. K. Ali (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) Dig by A. S. King (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) Wilder Girls by Rory Power (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Kait’s Worst

Lovely War by Julie Berry (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Duarte’s Best

Queen of Nothing by Holly Black (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Top 5 Best

5.) I, Claudia by Mary McCoy (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

4.) Captain Marvel: Liberation Run by Tess Sharpe (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

3.) The Revolution of Birdie Randolph by Brandy Colbert (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

2.) The (Other) F Word, edited by Angie Manfredi (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

1.) Shout by Laurie Halse Anderson (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

Renata’s Worst

S.T.A.G.S. by M. A. Bennett (Amazon | Trident Booksellers)

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

How desperate is Kait for scraps? She pre-ordered the next Murder Games novel just for another dumb murder story about gay people, despite all her issues with the first one. And boy, there were issues. Join Kait and Wren as they delve into what works and what doesn’t in “James Patterson’s” foray into queer protagonists, and gush endlessly over how much they love the incredibly silly show based on it.

Original Episode

Readers Advisory

Coming up next: Bests and Worsts of 2019, Part One

We knew we would need a lot of help to get through the frequently-requested book The Mister by E. L. James, so we tagged in Kitty and Piggy, the financial mavens behind the website and now podcast Bitches Get Riches! We’d already suffered through both Fifty Shades of Grey and also Grey, so we thought we knew what we were in for. But The Mister took us to unexpected places, such as inside a pair of big pink granny panties, and also Albania. Don’t miss DJ Maxim’s Club remix of this episode!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Fanfiction 101

Second Chance Book Club: The Mister (is secretly Poldark?)

The Evolution of E. L. James by Alexandra Alter

E.L. James’ New Book The Mister Has A Connection To Fifty Shades Of Grey

Mary Bichner

Candy Pairing:  Kait says despair, Kitty says anything vanilla flavored, Renata says Activia yogurt.

Coming up next: Queer Venting About Instinct by James Patterson.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

It must be the season of the witch, since we read The Initiation, the first book in L. J. Smith’s Secret Circle series. The new school year in New Salem marks the start of some beautiful friendships whose homoerotic subtext is only barely concealed beneath a thin layer of herbs. Plus also, some valuable lessons about urban planning!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Forever Young Adult: Recap of The Secret Circle Pilot

Candy Pairing:  Kait says a caramel apple, Katie says saltwater taffy, Renata says feverfew.

Coming up next: The Mister by E. L. James.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

We revisited the world of V. C. Andrews and read Dark Angel, the second book in the Casteel family saga with V. C. Andrews apologist Arielle. It’s a grim story of a girl who escapes her impoverished hometown but can’t get away from the fact that men are trash everywhere. Keep your wits about you if you listen to this episode in a hedge maze!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 108 – My Sweet Audrina

Episode 17 – Flowers in the Attic

Guest Post: Flowers In the Attic (The Appeal Thereof)

The True Story of How V.C. Andrews’ Casteel Family Saga Came to Be by Amanda Garrity

Comedy Bang! Bang! – This Is Your Boy Troy

Candy Pairing:  Arielle says blackstrap molasses, Kait says circus peanuts, Renata says spiked punch.

Coming up next: The Initiation (Secret Circle series) by L. J. Smith.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

As listeners to the podcast may know, we’re big fans of Dwayne Johnson, but slightly less knowledgable about his pro wrestling alter ego, The Rock. So we invited Tres Dean, author of For Your Consideration: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, to read the 2000 memoir The Rock Says… by The Rock and Joe Leyden. We learned a lot about both Dwayne Johnson and The Rock. Arguably, more than we wanted to know? Put your MP3 player in your fanny pack to listen to this episode on the go!

Readers advisory: Here.