10% Happier with Dan Harris

Equanimity: what it is, what it isn’t, and how to get it. 

Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan’s first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own. 

Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein’s first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she’s been training with another Burmese master we’ve talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary.

In this conversation we talk about: 

• What is equanimity?
• The most common misconception about equanimity
• The near and far enemies of equanimity 
• The power and limitations of setting intentions

Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/kamala-masters-rerun

Where to find Kamala Masters online: 

Website: Vipassana Metta on Maui

Additional Resources:

Download the Happier Meditation app today.

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How not to take sh*t for granted.

About Jay Michaelson:

Jay Michaelson is a writer & journalist, rabbi & meditation teacher, keynote speaker, and scholar of religion. Jay is the author of ten books, most recently The Secret That Is Not A Secret: Ten Heretical Tales. He holds a JD from Yale, a PhD in Jewish Thought from Hebrew University, and nondenominational rabbinic ordination.

To find this meditation in the Happier Meditation app, you can search for “Delighting in Pleasure.”

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Dan and Executive Producer, DJ Cashmere, pull back the curtain on what we do, how we do it—and what’s coming next.

In this episode we talk about:

• An exciting New Year's series reveal and upcoming meditation challenge
• What goes into making the show–and why we do it
• The ins and outs of starting a new business
• And much more

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Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/bts-878

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How your blindspots hurt your decision-making— and how to fix it.

Anu Gupta is an educator, lawyer, scientist, and the founder and CEO of BE MORE with Anu, an education technology benefit corporation that trains professionals across corporate, nonprofit, and government sectors to advance DEIB and wellness by breaking bias. His work has reached 300+ organizations training more than 80,000 professionals impacting over 30 million lives. Gupta holds a JD from NYU Law, MPhil in Development Studies from Cambridge University, and BA in International Relations and Middle Eastern & Islamic Studies from NYU. As a gay immigrant of color, he came to the work of breaking bias after almost ending his life due to lifelong experiences with racism, homophobia, and Islamophobia. The realization that bias can be unlearned helped lead him out of that dark point and inspired a lifelong mission to build a global movement for social healing based on principles of mindfulness and compassion. A peer-reviewed author, he has written and spoken extensively, including on the TED stage, the Oprah Conversation, Fast Company, Newsweek, and Vogue Business. He is the author of Breaking Bias: Where Stereotypes and Prejudices Come From—and the Science-Backed Method to Unravel Them.

In this episode we talk about:

• The 5 causes of bias
• The dis-utility of shame
• What has – and hasn’t – been working in DEI trainings
• Contemplative practices, on and off the cushion, for breaking bias
• And his response to skeptics 

Related Episodes:

• Why You‘re Not Seeing the World Clearly— and How to Fix It | Jessica Nordell
• The Self-Interested Case for Examining Your Biases | John Biewen
• Dolly Chugh, How Good People Fight Bias
• Rhonda Magee, Law Professor Using Mindfulness to Defeat Bias
• How to Call People In (Instead of Calling Them Out) | Loretta Ross

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The upside of the often misunderstood "tribalism".

Michael Morris is the Chavkin-Chang Professor of Leadership at Columbia Business School as well as a Professor in its Psychology Department. Outside of academia, Professor Morris has consulted with and conducted executive training workshops for hundreds of clients across the globe, including Fortune 100 firms, governments, and the Obama and Clinton campaigns. He lives in New York City. His latest book is called Tribal: How The Cultural Instincts That Divide Us Can Help Bring Us Together.

Related Episodes:

• How Turning Habits Into Rituals Can Help You At Home, At Work, And When You're Anxious | Michael Norton

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Bring an open minded curiosity to your big emotions and get to know yourself more fully, developing resilience to deal with all the feels.

About Sharon Salzberg:

Sharon Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is among the first to bring mindfulness & lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture fifty years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers.

A co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, Sharon is the author of thirteen books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindess.

To find this meditation in the Happier Meditation app, you can search for “Being With Big Emotions.”

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A famed author and humorist takes a deep dive into grief (with Dr. Bianca Harris as co-host).

Sloane Crosley is the author of The New York Times bestselling books Grief Is for People, How Did You Get This Number, and I Was Told There’d Be Cake. She is also the author of Look Alive Out There, Cult Classic and The Clasp, both of which have been optioned for film. She served as editor of The Best American Travel Writing series and is featured in The Library of America's 50 Funniest American Writers, The Best American Nonrequired Reading, Phillip Lopate’s The Contemporary American Essay and others. She was the inaugural columnist for The New York Times Op-Ed "Townies" series, a contributing editor at Interview Magazine, and a columnist for The Village Voice, Vanity Fair, The Independent, Black Book, Departures and The New York Observer. She is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. She has taught at Columbia University and The Yale Writers’ Workshop.

In this episode we talk about:

• A series of consecutive losses that Sloane endured
• The concept of cumulative grief 
• Sloane’s version of the five stages of grief
• Her beef with acceptance
• Bibliotherapy as a source of healing
• And much more

Related Episodes:

The Science Of Grief: What Helps, What Doesn’t, And Why We Don’t Talk About It Enough | Cody Delistraty

How To Talk To Yourself When Things Suck | Sam Sanders

#450. The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O’Connor

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/sloane-crosley-874

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download
• Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss
• All My Puny Sorrows
• Otherwise: New & Selected Poems By Jane Kenyon

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Smart strategies that emerged from a brutal year. 

Sam Sanders is an award-winning reporter, radio host and podcaster. He co-hosts the podcast Vibe Check with Zach Stafford and Saeed Jones. He also currently hosts The Sam Sanders Show from KCRW. Check out the album he mentioned in the episode, Caroline Rose’s The Art of Forgetting. 

This is part 2 in a 3-part series we’re running on grief.

In this episode we talk about:

• The fact that there is no right way to deal with grief 
• The value of feeling your feelings — even though it sucks 
• Why it can be helpful to take breaks from your grief without guilt
• The importance of joy and play 
• The changing nature of grief
• What it means to be “anointed” by grief
• And what it looks like to maintain a relationship with someone even after they’ve died

Related Episodes:

• How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz
• Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff
• The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross 
• Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sam-sanders-873

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A journalist explores one of humanity’s most brutal and unavoidable experiences.

Cody Delistraty is a writer and speechwriter, most recently working as the culture editor at the Wall Street Journal Magazine. He has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, and was the European arts columnist for The Paris Review. He has degrees in politics from New York University and in history from the University of Oxford. British Vogue named him a best young writer of the year, and he has given talks about art and creativity to companies like PwC. He lives in New York City.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why our culture is so repressed when it comes to grief
• We dive into the many experiments that Cody launched to help cope with loss; from book and laughter therapy, to psilocybin and AI
• The concept of grief as an addiction 
• The importance of rituals 
• The scientific possibility of deleting our memories to avoid pain 
• And how to live along side of grief when there is no cure

Related Episodes:

Abby Wambach On: Grief, Addiction, And Moving From External To Internal Validation

#583. Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age

Joe DiNardo, Grief and Meditation

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Additional Resources:

Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

The Grief Cure: Looking for the End of Loss

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Learn to find a feeling of protection and trust during a downpour of stressful thoughts or overwhelm.

About Matthew Hepburn:

Matthew is a meditation and dharma teacher with more than a decade of teaching experience and a passion for getting real about what it means to live well. He emphasizes humor, technique, and authentic kindness as a means to free the mind up from unnecessary struggle and leave a healthier impact on the world. Beyond Happier, Matthew has taught in prisons, schools, corporate events and continues to teach across North America in buddhist centers offering intensive silent retreats and dharma for urban daily life.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Shelter In A Storm: Finding Refuge.”

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This scientist says that walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Here are some ways you can incorporate it into your life.

Today we're going to talk about something so obvious, but so incredibly powerful. Walking. This is the third of a three part mini-series we're doing focused on the benefits of spending time outdoors.

Dr. Keltner is one of the world’s foremost emotion scientists. He is a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center. He has over 200 scientific publications and six books, including Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, The Power Paradox, and Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. He has written for many popular outlets, from The New York Times to Slate, and has consulted extensively for Google, Apple, and Pinterest, on issues related to emotion and well-being. He also hosts the podcast The Science of Happiness.

In this episode we talk about:

• The practice of “awe walks”
• The ritualizing of walking
• How it can help your concentration and anxiety levels
• Walking meetings
• And walking meditations

Related Episodes:

The Science Of How Nature Changes Your Brain—From Sleep To Cognition To Your Nervous System | Dacher Keltner

How To Get The Physiological And Psychological Benefits Of Nature If You Don’t Live Near Nature | Dacher Keltner

#546. This Scientist Says One Emotion Might Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner

We Know Nature Is Good for Us. Here’s How To Make Time for It, Scandinavian Style | Linda Åkeson McGurk

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/dacher-keltner-bonus-3

Additional Resources:

• The Science of Happiness Podcast
• How to Start (Restart, or Upgrade) Your Meditation Practice: A Master Class | Jon Kabat-Zinn
• #580. Tripping Out with a Legend: Jon Kabat-Zinn on Pain vs. Suffering, Rethinking Your Anxiety, and the Buddha's Teaching in a Single Sentence
• The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain
• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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Buddhist megastars in conversation.

Today, we’re dropping a recording of a live event we held earlier this year, during which Joseph Goldstein and Dr. Mark Epstein came on stage for a fascinating set of conversations. We did this event to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Dan’s first book, also called 10% Happier. 

The night was structured like a late night show, so there was a monologue, and live music with the band Mates of State. 

Dr. Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City, and is the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy, including Thoughts without a Thinker, Going to Pieces without Falling Apart, Going on Being, Open to Desire, Psychotherapy without the Self, The Trauma of Everyday Life and Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself, and The Zen of Therapy: Uncovering a Hidden Kindness in Life. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from Harvard University. He has been a student of vipassana meditation since 1974.

Joseph Goldstein is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, both in Barre, Massachusetts. He is the author of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening, A Heart Full of Peace, One Dharma: The Emerging Western Buddhism, Insight Meditation and The Experience of Insight: A Simple and Direct Guide to Buddhist Meditation. Joseph has studied and practiced meditation since 1967 under the guidance of eminent teachers from India, Burma, and Tibet and he leads Insight Meditation retreats around the world.

In this episode we talk about:

• The three month solo silent meditation retreat Joseph had just finished
• How to not suffer in the face of unwanted experiences 
• Three exercises for slowing down
• Pragmatic applications of retreat practice for life in the real world 
• How to see outside yourself
• How Mark came to Buddhism 50 years ago
• The relationship between Buddhism and psychotherapy 
• The Buddhist concept of the two levels of reality 
• And a guided meditation from a surprise guest

Related Episodes:

Nirvana | Joseph Goldstein

Dr. Mark Epstein On: How To Transform Your Neuroses Into “Little Shmoos”

I Just Did A 10-Day Silent Meditation Retreat With Joseph Goldstein. Here’s What I Learned

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/joseph-mark-live

Additional Resources:

• The New York Insight Meditation Center
• http://markepsteinmd.com/
• Going to Pieces without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness
• The Trauma of Everyday Life
• Mates of State
• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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How learning to apologize can upgrade your life.

V (formerly Eve Ensler) is the Tony award-winning playwright, author, and activist. Her play The Vagina Monologues is an Obie award-winning, Olivier-nominated theatrical phenomenon that has been translated into 48 languages and performed in 140 countries. She is the author of numerous books, including the recently released bestseller Reckoning (2023), heralded by the Washington Post as “gutting and gorgeous.” Other best-selling books include The Apology (2019), translated into 20 languages, In the Body of the World, and The New York Times bestseller I Am an Emotional Creature. She starred on Broadway in The Good Body and, most recently Off-Broadway at Manhattan Theatre Club in the critically acclaimed In the Body of the World.  She helped create That Kindness: Nurses in Their Own Words, presented by the Brooklyn Academy of Music in collaboration with theaters across the US, as a tribute to nurses during the COVID-19 pandemic. V is currently writing the story and co-writing lyrics for the musical Becoming (formerly WILD), which made its world premiere in December 2021 at The American Repertory Theater. She recently wrote This is Crazy, a play about mental illness commissioned by the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Her film credits include The Vagina Monologues (HBO), What I Want My Words to Do to You (Executive Producer, Winner of the Sundance Film Festival Freedom of Expression Award, PBS), Mad Max: Fury Road (Consultant), and City of Joy documentary (Netflix). She is the founder of V-Day, the 26-year-old global activist movement that has raised over 120 million dollars to end violence against women, gender-expansive people, girls, and the planet—and founder of One Billion Rising, the largest global mass action to end gender-based violence in over 200 countries, as well as a co-founder of the City of Joy, a sanctuary and revolutionary center for women in the Congo who have survived sexual assault.  She writes regularly for The Guardian. 

In this episode we talk about:

• V’s 4-step process for making an apology
• Why she doesn’t believe in forgiveness
• Her concept that the wound is the portal
• And much more. 

Related Episodes: What To Do When You’re Angry | Matthew Brensilver, Vinny Ferraro, Kaira Jewel Lingo

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/v-868

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Rest is natural and needed. Appreciate and embrace the mammalian seasonal shifts.

About Jeff Warren:

Jeff makes meditation and practice accessible to diverse audiences in order to help people live more fulfilled and connected lives. He’s taught meditation to suspicious journalists, US Army cadets, burned-out caregivers, Arizona cops, formerly-incarcerated youth, virtuoso popstars, distractible teens, and every other conceivable demographic of freethinker, including squirmy six-year old kids.  He tries to do this in a way that’s rigorous and clear and adventurous. You can find out more about him at jeffwarren.org. 

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Winter Hibernation.”

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Practical tips for accessing the healthcare of nature no matter where you live.

It’s very possible that you've heard the long list of physiological and psychological benefits that one can derive from getting out into nature. Those benefits include improved mood, boosted immune system, lowered blood pressure and more. That being said, 80 percent of Americans live in urban areas. So today, we're going to talk to an expert about how to derive the many benefits of nature, no matter where you are.

Dr. Keltner is one of the world’s foremost emotion scientists. He is a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center. He has over 200 scientific publications and six books, including Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, The Power Paradox, and Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. He has written for many popular outlets, from The New York Times to Slate, and has consulted extensively for Google, Apple, and Pinterest, on issues related to emotion and well-being. He also hosts the podcast The Science of Happiness.

In this episode we talk about:

• The importance of opening our senses to nature 
• The power of birdsong
• The science of street trees and their impact on depression
• How taking pictures of our local environment can enhance focus and productivity
• And lastly, how we can harness the power of our imagination 

Related Episodes:

The Science Of How Nature Changes Your Brain—From Sleep To Cognition To Your Nervous System | Dacher Keltner

#546. This Scientist Says One Emotion Might Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner

We Know Nature Is Good for Us. Here’s How To Make Time for It, Scandinavian Style | Linda Åkeson McGurk

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/dacher-keltner-bonus-2

Additional Resources:

Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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A journalist-turned-Buddhist-nun shares six phrases – or mantras – to help keep your relationships on the rails. 

Relationships can be tricky. Especially if you find yourself upset with someone, and instead of talking it through, you let it fester until one moment you completely lose it and end up having to apologize. If you’ve ever felt like you had friction with the people in your life, or that you’ve been taken for granted, today’s episode offers you solid strategies to cope. 

Sister True Dedication is a Zen Buddhist nun and teacher ordained by the great meditation teacher and author, Thich Nhat Hanh. She edited several of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books, including The Art of Living and Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet. She was born in the United Kingdom, studied history and political thought at Cambridge University, and worked for BBC News before ordaining as a nun at the age of 27.

In this episode we talk about: 

• The six phrases – or mantras – that Thich Nhat Hanh recommended people use in their relationships
• Keeping misunderstandings “dust free”
• Taking action to make sure anger doesn’t fester
• The importance of recognizing that our understanding of the world is always partial
• Bringing mantras to work
• How Sister True Dedication went from journalism to the monastery

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/sister-true-dedication-rerun

Where to find Sister True Dedication online: 

Website: Plum Village Teacher Page

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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A compendium of expert advice on handling all the complications — and pleasures — that the holiday season brings.

I have whipped up a holiday survival guide for you, a series of evidence-based strategies for navigating what can be a tricky time of year.  

During the course of this episode, I'm going to talk about nine pain points, including navigating political differences around the dinner table, overeating, overwhelm, travel indignities, social anxiety, difficult family members, etc. I'm going to share with you a bunch of strategies pulled from ancient wisdom and modern science.  

In this episode we talk about practical strategies for dealing with nine pain points of the holiday season:

• The expectation of perfection
• Overwhelm
• Difficult family dynamics
• Grief
• Loneliness
• Social anxiety
• Overeating
• Holiday travel
• Financial worries

Related Episodes:

How to Feel Less Enraged And Hopeless When You Consume The News | Sharon McMahon

Science-Based Tools For When You’re Stressed, Obsessed, Or Overthinking | Dr. Jenny Taitz

How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O’Connor

Strategies for Social Anxiety | Ellen Hendriksen

The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole

Can Anxiety Be a Gift? | Dr. David Rosmarin

Your Craving Mind | Kevin Griffin

Why Your Bad Habits (and Addictions) May Be Getting Worse - and How Mindfulness Can Help | Dr. Jud Brewer

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Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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When you’re faced with a difficult situation, respond rather than react by slowing down, taking a breath, & observing what you’re feeling.

About Dawn Mauricio:

Dawn Mauricio discovered the practices of Buddhist meditation in 2005, and from then on, did what any well-intentioned perfectionist would do — plunge in head first! Since then, she's graduated from several teaching programs, including Spirit Rock's four-year Teacher Training. Her teaching style is playful, dynamic, and heartfelt, and she teaches extensively in her home-country of Canada, as well as the US, to teens, people of color, and folks of all backgrounds.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “When Meetings Stress You Out.”

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Scientific evidence that spending time in nature has profound impacts on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

We’ve got something special planned for you today. We’re talking about the massive psychological and physiological benefits of being in nature.

Nature impacts your mood. It has a whole long list of positive benefits for your nervous system, and even changes how you are with other people. In fact, as you'll hear today’s guest say, “nature is healthcare”. 

Dr. Dacher Keltner is one of the world’s foremost emotion scientists. He is a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center. He has over 200 scientific publications and six books, including Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, The Power Paradox, and Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. He has written for many popular outlets, from The New York Times to Slate, and has consulted extensively for Google, Apple, and Pinterest, on issues related to emotion and well-being. He also hosts the podcast The Science of Happiness.

This is the first of a three-part series we’re doing focused on the benefits of spending time outside. Today we talk about how it impacts sleep, cognition, memory, your nervous system, and your relationships. Next week, we address the 80% of Americans who live in urban areas—how do you derive these benefits? And in week three, we take a deep dive on the science of walking. 

Related Episodes:

#546. This Scientist Says One Emotion Might Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner

We Know Nature Is Good for Us. Here’s How To Make Time for It, Scandinavian Style | Linda Åkeson McGurk

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/dacher-keltner-bonus-1

Additional Resources:

Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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Radical strategies for the scarcity mindset.

Robin Wall Kimmerer is a mother, scientist, decorated professor, and enrolled member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation. She is the author of Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants, which has earned Kimmerer wide acclaim. Her first book, Gathering Moss: A Natural and Cultural History of Mosses, was awarded the John Burroughs Medal for outstanding nature writing, and her other work has appeared in Orion, Whole Terrain, and numerous scientific journals. 

Her new book, The Serviceberry, is about a plant whose behavior is a model not only for our individual lives, but potentially for rethinking the global economy.

In this episode we talk about:

• Nature as a model for the economy
• How to reclaim our stolen attention
• Practices of gratitude
• Counterintuitive advice on wealth and security
• How to change your relationship to the living world
• The science of biomimicry
• Plants as persons, and the study of plant cognition
• And the importance of recognizing both Western science and the indigenous worldview

Related Episodes:

#546. This Scientist Says One Emotion Might Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner

We Know Nature Is Good for Us. Here’s How To Make Time for It, Scandinavian Style | Linda Åkeson McGurk

#505. The 5 Things That Are Ruining Your Meditation (and Your Life) – And How to Handle Them | Bonnie Duran

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Additional Resources:

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Evidence from the guy who pioneered the science.

James Pennebaker is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. He is known for his early research on expressive writing and health. More recently, he has pioneered ways to study people’s personalities and behaviors through the analysis of their language use. His text analysis program LIWC is used across disciplines. Author of over 300 scientific articles and 8 books, his research has affected our understanding and treatment of mental and physical health of people dealing with upheavals in their lives.

In this episode we talk about:

• The specific form of journaling, called expressive writing or therapeutic journaling, that he invented and studied. 
• Other kinds of journaling such as to-do lists and gratitude lists. 
• Why writing things down helps shift our perspective on our stress or trauma. 
• How that can lead to a cascade of benefits, from improved sleep to improved working memory
• And why Pennebaker, who’s a very laid-back dude, is so laid-back about how often we need to journal in order to derive its benefits

Dump It Here journal is available now. https://shop.danharris.com/ 

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/pennebaker-860

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An alternative for people who have trouble meditating on the breath.

About Sharon Salzberg:

Sharon Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is among the first to bring mindfulness & lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture fifty years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers.

A co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, Sharon is the author of thirteen books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindess.

In 2023, Sharon released two new books: Real Life, available from Flatiron Books, and Finding Your Way, a small gift book from Workman.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Meditating with Touch Points.”

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A crucial (and often misunderstood) concept in Buddhism: letting go.

For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle surrendering or letting go. This is the fourth in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.

*Find the Soft Belly Meditation here 

*Check out Sebene Selassie’s website and newsletter, Ancestor to Elements. Plus, her ‘Let It Be’ guided meditation on DanHarris.com

****

Want to study and practice with today's guests? Please check out these Spirit Rock offerings:

Matthew Brensilver, Buddhist Psychology Training (Begins in January)

Vinny Ferraro: A Year to Live; Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully (Begins in January)

Kaira Jewel Lingo: Healing Our Way Home (Oct. 20); Insight Meditation Retreat (April 9-16; opens Dec. 11)

All 10% Happier listeners receive a discount code for our December Insight Retreat (Dec. 8-18) with the code TENPERCENT

Vinny and Kaira Jewel will also teach at the Insight Meditation Society:

Kaira Jewel Lingo, Strength to Love: Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King: Jr. (Jan 17 - Jan 20), and Return to Wholeness: Opening to Wisdom & Love (online) (Mar 23 - Mar 29)

Vinny Ferraro, Peace in Presence: A Four-Night Retreat for All (Jan 31 - Feb 4)

Related Episodes:

• Listen to all of DJ’s correspondence episodes here
• 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro
• Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver
• How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver

Also, the teachers’ sites:

https://vinnyferraro.org/

Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live

https://www.kairajewel.com/

https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/

Feedback form: Let us know what you think!

https://www.happierapp.com/contact

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/dj-surrender-4

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What ancient Greeks and Romans figured out about stress reduction.

You may have heard about stoicism, in the common parlance, as having a stiff upper lip, sucking it up, grinning and bearing it, suppressing your emotions, etcetera. Or you may have heard of Stoicism, the ancient Greco/Roman philosophy, that has become the de rigeur set of life hacks among millennial self-optimizers. 

In this episode, guest Nancy Sherman argues that Stoicism is way deeper than any of that. She will argue that, in fact, Stoicism is kind of the opposite of all the above. It’s a way to truly know your patterns of thought and emotion. 

Nancy Sherman is a Professor of Philosophy at Georgetown University. She is an expert in ethics, the history of moral philosophy, moral psychology, military ethics, and emotions. Her most recent book is called Stoic Wisdom: Ancient Lessons for Modern Resilience.

This episode is a rebroadcast from 2021: it’s one of our most-listened episodes, and we thought it might be particularly useful in this time of election-related stress. 

In this conversation, we:

• cover the basics of Stoicism, 
• how and why capital “S” Stoicism is often misinterpreted, 
• a meditation practice called “premeditation of evils,” which is far more practical than it may sound, 
• and another practice designed to make you feel “at home in the world”.

Content Warning: There is a brief reference to suicide.

Related Episodes:

Ancient Strategies for Managing Stress & Anxiety | Ryan Holiday

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Full Shownotes: https://www.happierapp.com/podcast/tph/nancy-sherman-rerun

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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Discomfort with the unknown is a natural human response. This meditation will help you relax as you practice allowing the rhythm of life to unfold.

About Alexis Santos:

Alexis has practiced and taught Insight Meditation in both the East and West since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya (a well respected meditation teacher in Burma whose teachings have attracted a global audience), and his teaching emphasizes knowing the mind through a natural and relaxed continuity -- a style of practice that's particularly useful during our crazy lives. Alexis has completed the Spirit Rock/IMS Teacher Training, teaches retreats across the globe, and currently lives in Portland, Maine.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Facing Uncertainty.”

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How to get the practice into your molecules—not in some militaristic way, but in a way that feels easy and natural.

Alexis Santos has been in the field of mindfulness and meditation since 2001. After graduating from Harvard University in 1995, he spent several years in medical school before leaving his chosen career as a doctor to seek out a different path. It was while traveling in India that he was introduced to insight meditation.

Since that time, Alexis has practiced in many meditative styles and traditions, including with Sayadaw U Tejaniya, the Thai Forest tradition with Ajahn Sumedho, the Tibetan tradition with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and within the lay Western insight community where he continues to learn from the growing diversity of voices.

Alexis's primary teacher has been Sayadaw U Tejaniya, from the Burmese Theravada tradition, and with whom he ordained as a Buddhist monk from 2003 - 2005. Sayadaw encouraged Alexis to teach in 2012. Alexis also completed the Spirit Rock/IMS four-year teacher training program with Jack Kornfield and others, including mentors Joseph Goldstein and Carol Wilson. 

​

Alexis teaches meditation at retreat centers around the world. He is featured on the Ten Percent Happier meditation app and is co-founder of Open Door Meditation Community in Portland, Maine where he is a guest teacher. 

Alexis's teaching style is natural and uncrafted. He brings a practical, intuitive and compassionate approach to the development of wisdom.

***

Want to study and practice with Alexis? Visit his website at alexissantos.io where you can join his freely offered online practice sessions.

He will also be teaching at the Insight Meditation Society from March 5 - 12. When Awareness Becomes Natural: An U Tejaniya-style Insight Meditation Retreat

Related Episodes:

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

I Just Did A 10-Day Silent Meditation Retreat With Joseph Goldstein. Here’s What I Learned

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How optimizing this skill can change your life – and the world.

Rabbi Sharon Brous has some extremely practical tips for how to improve what psychologists call your social health. She is the senior and founding rabbi of IKAR, a Jewish community in LA. Her new book, a bestseller, is called The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World.

Related Episodes:

• This Neurobiologist Wants You To Ask One Question To Reframe Anxiety, Depression, And Trauma | Dr. Bruce Perry (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

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Unraveling one of our main sources of unhappiness.

About Sebene Selassie:

Growing up, Sebene felt like a big weirdo. Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in white neighborhoods in Washington, D.C., she was a tomboy Black girl who loved Monty Python and UB40. She never believed she belonged. Thirty years ago, she began studying Buddhism as an undergraduate at McGill University where she majored in Comparative Religious Studies. Now, Sebene is a teacher, author, and speaker who teaches that meditation can help us remember our inherent sense of belonging, that our individual freedom affects absolutely everyone and everything, and that our collective freedom depends on each and every one of us. Sebene is a three-time cancer survivor of Stage III and IV cancer.

Check out Sebene’s Substack newsletter, Ancestors to Elements. 

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Hope in the Everyday.”

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Buddhist case — and toolkit — for “don’t-know mind.”

For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle being wrong. This is the third in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.

*Matthew’s Dharma talk on Knowing And Not-Knowing

****

Want to study and practice with today's guests? Please check out these Spirit Rock offerings:

Matthew Brensilver, Buddhist Psychology Training (Begins in January)

Vinny Ferraro: A Year to Live; Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully (Begins in January)

Kaira Jewel Lingo: Healing Our Way Home (Oct. 20); Insight Meditation Retreat (April 9-16; opens Dec. 11)

All 10% Happier listeners receive a discount code for our December Insight Retreat (Dec. 8-18) with the code TENPERCENT

& if you'd like to study with these guests on the East Coast, check out these retreats at the Insight Meditation Society:

Kaira Jewel Lingo, Strength to Love: Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King: Jr. (Jan 17 - Jan 20), and Return to Wholeness: Opening to Wisdom & Love (Mar 23 - Mar 29)

Vinny Ferraro, Peace in Presence: A Four-Night Retreat for All (Jan 31 - Feb 4)

Related Episodes:

• Listen to all of DJ’s correspondence episodes here
• 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro
• Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver
• How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver

Also, the teachers’ sites:

https://vinnyferraro.org/

Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live

https://www.kairajewel.com/

https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/

Feedback form: Let us know what you think!

https://www.happierapp.com/contact

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A Stanford innovation expert shares practical tips on future-proofing your mind.

Frederik Pferdt was Google’s first Chief Innovation Evangelist, where founded Google’s Innovation Lab. He’s also taught classes on innovation and creativity at Stanford University for more than a decade. His new book is called What's Next Is Now: How to Live Future Ready.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why we are so resistant to change
• How to embrace the unknown
• Why and how to develop compulsive curiosity
• The value of experiments and why we shouldn’t fear failure
• What it means to have expansive empathy, and why that can help you develop a future-ready mindset
• And how to identify what he calls your Dimension X—your own unique capacities

Related Episodes:

Dua Lipa On: Radical Optimism, Falling On Stage, And “Writing Yourself Into A Good Idea”

#516. Robin Roberts on the Skill of Optimism

#274 The Case for Optimism | Dr. Jonathan Salk

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More from Frederik Pferdt:

Book: What's Next Is Now: How to Live Future Ready

NextLetter (newsletter signup): https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/#nextletter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frederikgpferdt/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fgpferdt/?locale=en_US

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/frederik-pferdt-851

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cultivating what’s good in us helps during times of both abundance and adversity. In fact, it’s when times are hard that we need it the most.

About Kaira Jewel Lingo:

At the age of twenty-five, Kaira Jewel Lingo entered a Buddhist monastery in the Plum Village tradition and spent fifteen years living as a nun under the guidance of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Now based in New York, she sees her work as a continuation of Engaged Buddhism as well as the work of her parents, inspired by their stories and her dad’s work with Martin Luther King Jr. on desegregating the South. The author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons on Moving through Change, Loss and Disruption, Kaira Jewel especially feels called to share mindfulness and meditation with Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, as well as activists, educators, youth, artists, and families.

Recently on the podcast:

Six Buddhist Practices To Stay Calm In A Tumultuous World | Kaira Jewel Lingo, Valerie Brown and Marisela Gomez

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Growing the Good.”

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why the man behind “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” is a self-help junkie.

Judd Apatow is one of the most prolific comedic minds in the industry. Recently, Apatow produced Peacock’s buddy comedy Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain and Universal’s romcom, Bros, starring and co-written by Billy Eichner. Apatow also directed, produced, and co-wrote with Pam Brady, the Netflix comedy The Bubble and produced and co-directed HBO Films’ Emmy®-winning documentary George Carlin’s American Dream with Michael Bonfiglio. His Netflix comedy special, Judd Apatow: The Return, released in 2017 and premiered to critical acclaim. Previous director credits include the Emmy®-award-winning documentary, The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up and The King of Staten Island. He produced Academy Award®-nominated The Big Sick and Bridesmaids, as well as Superbad, Pineapple Express and Anchorman. For television, he executive produced Crashing, Girls, and Freaks and Geeks. Off screen, Apatow authored Sicker in the Head, a follow-up to his New York Times best-seller Sick in the Head.

In this episode we talk about:

• The role of his parents’ bitter divorce in his life and work
• The balance between creativity and ambition
• Why so many comedians are so neurotic
• His creative process, including some gems from the TV writer David Milch
• His relationship to panic, and a hilarious story about freaking out on weed
• The way he’s started to understand the different voices inside of him
• His recent experiment with ayahuasca, and what he learned
• And the role of comedy when it feels like the world is on fire

Related Episodes:

Bill Hader on Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, and Leaning into Discomfort

Duncan Trussell on: Being a Spiritual Omnivore, Whether Psychedelics Are a Bridge to the Divine, and How the Gates of Hell Are Locked From the Inside

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: http://www.happierapp.com/podcast/tph/judd-apatow

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://www.happierapp.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What you resist persists. Buddhist strategies for acceptance and equanimity.

Ofosu Jones-Quartey, a meditation teacher, author, and musician hailing from the Washington DC area brings over 17 years of experience in sharing mindfulness, meditation and self-compassion practices with the world. Holding a bachelor’s degree from American University and certified by the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, Ofosu is a graduate of the Teleos Coaching Institute and is the male voice on the Balance meditation app, reaching over 10 million subscribers. 

Ofosu leads meditation classes and retreats nationwide, having taught and led retreats at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, The Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, Brooklyn Zen Center, Cleveland Insight, Inward Bound Mindfulness and more.

As an accomplished hip hop artist under the name “Born I,” Ofosu released the mindfulness-themed album “In This Moment” in 2021. His most recent album is “AMIDA”, a spiritual, Lo-Fi Hip Hop album exploring life, death and his Buddhist faith.

Beyond music, Ofosu is an author. His self-published children’s book “You Are Enough” debuted in 2020 and his next work “Love Your Amazing Self” via Storey Publishing in 2022. Ofosu’s latest book: “Lyrical Dharma: Hip Hop as Mindfulness” will be released in 2025 via Parallax Press. You can pre-order the book here.

Ofosu lives in Rockville, Maryland, with his wife and four children.

Cara Lai has worked as an artist, wilderness guide, social worker, and therapist before becoming a full time meditation teacher. She teaches teens and adults at Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and Ten Percent Happier.

To find out more about what Cara does, you can go to her website, www.caralai.org – where she’s got some online meditation classes, including one called Meditate Your Face Off. She also has a monthly class for parents, co-led by Ofosu Jones-Quartey.

Speaking of podcasts, Cara also co-hosts a podcast called Adventures in Meditating (For Parents), along with Jess Morey and Jon Roberts.

Cara lives in Vermont with her husband and their 2-year-old son.

Related Episodes:

The Upside of Desire | Cara Lai 

Can You Get Fit Without Self-Loathing? | Cara Lai 

Rewire How You Talk To Yourself | Ofosu Jones-Quartey

What It’s Like To Do A Year-Long Silent Meditation Retreat—By Yourself | Cara Lai

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/cara-ofosu-848

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“America's Government Teacher” has smart tips for staying calm in turbulent times.

After years of serving as a high school government and law teacher, Sharon McMahon took her passion for education to Instagram, where more than a million people (who affectionately call themselves “Governerds”) rely on her for non-partisan, fact-based information.

Sharon is also the host of the award-winning podcast, Here’s Where It Gets Interesting, where, each week, she provides entertaining yet factual accounts of America’s most fascinating moments and people. In addition, she is the author of The Preamble, a Substack newsletter about politics and history. 

In this episode we talk about:

• How to avoid being ‘confidently wrong’ 
• How we often get confused between our opinions and our identity—which makes it very hard to change our opinions
• The importance of having a diverse media diet 
• Tips for consuming the news without driving yourself nuts
• How to have compassion for people who we completely disagree with
• How history can be a balm for hopelessness—an antidote for when we’re tempted to conclude that things have never been worse
• How everyday people have way more power than we think
• And why hope is a choice.

Related Episodes:

Eight Things I’m Doing To Stay Sane During Election Season | Dan Harris

#405. How You Help End Polarization and Inequality – and Get Happier, Too | Robert Putnam & Shaylyn Romney Garrett

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/sharon-mcmahon-847

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://app.tenpercent.com/link/download

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Co-opt the feeling of boredom and use it as feedback, instead of just wanting it to go away.

About Joseph Goldstein:

Joseph is one of the most respected meditation teachers in the world -- a key architect of the rise of mindfulness in our modern society -- with a sense of humor to boot. In the 1970's, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field. Joseph has been a teacher there since its founding and continues as the resident guiding teacher.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “When Meditating Gets Boring.”

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Last month, Dan appeared on Impolitic With John Heilemann — the two guys are old friends — to talk through Dan’s strategies for staying sane in the homestretch of this anxiety-fueled, agitation-inducing, existentially unnerving election; why failure is often more productive and profitable (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) than success; how to maintain a sense of calm, balance, and serenity while working harder than, in Dan’s phrase, a “six-peckered goat;” and the career earthquake that’s led to the big recent changes you’ve all heard about in the 10% Happier empire. Dan thought that the conversation was terrific, so he asked John if he could offer it to his followers—et voila, here it is! If this taste of John whets your appetite for more, please follow Impolitic With John Heilemann for a twice-weekly all-you-can-eat buffet of fresh, candid, no-holds-barred conversations with the people who shape our politics and culture. Thanks for listening, hope you enjoy, and namaste.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How to handle other people's anger—and the anger that their anger might trigger in you.

For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle anger. This is the second in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.

****

Want to study and practice with today's guests? Please check out these Spirit Rock offerings:

Matthew Brensilver, Buddhist Psychology Training (Begins in January)

Vinny Ferraro: A Year to Live; Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully (Begins in January)

Kaira Jewel Lingo: Healing Our Way Home (Oct. 20); Insight Meditation Retreat (April 9-16; opens Dec. 11)

All 10% Happier listeners receive a discount code for our December Insight Retreat (Dec. 8-18) with the code TENPERCENT

& if you'd like to study with these guests on the East Coast, check out these retreats at the Insight Meditation Society:

Kaira Jewel Lingo, Strength to Love: Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King: Jr. (Jan 17 - Jan 20), and Return to Wholeness: Opening to Wisdom & Love (Mar 23 - Mar 29)

Vinny Ferraro, Peace in Presence: A Four-Night Retreat for All (Jan 31 - Feb 4)

Related Episodes:

• Listen to all of DJ’s correspondent episodes here
• 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro
• Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver
• How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver
• How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita
• Brené Brown Says You're Doing Feelings Wrong
• Dolly Chugh, How Good People Fight Bias
• The Many Benefits of a “Paradox Mindset” | Dolly Chugh

Also, the teachers’ sites:

https://vinnyferraro.org/

Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live

https://www.kairajewel.com/

https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/

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Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, a Washington Post contributing columnist, and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. She has written three award-winning, nonfiction books about three very different subjects: High Conflict, The Smartest Kids in the World, and The Unthinkable. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The key differences between healthy conflict and high conflict
• Five key steps for getting out of or avoiding high conflict
• Why it's a golden age for so-called conflict entrepreneurs; and how to spot them in your orbit
• ‘Looping’ – a key technique that changed Amanda’s life (and Dan’s)
• How to set good boundaries while not giving up on people
• One of the most reliable antidotes to all forms of bias, something called contact theory
• Thoughts on how to interact with the news and social media during a presidential election
• The very good reasons to avoid humiliating your opponent. She calls humiliation the nuclear bomb of emotions
• And much more

Related Episodes:

Fight Right: The Science of Healthy Conflict | Drs. John and Julie Gottman

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy

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Additional Resources:

• thegoodconflict.com
• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://app.tenpercent.com/link/download

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A soothing meditation for moments when stress gets out of control. Take time for self-compassion by accompanying yourself with gentle presence and kind words.

About Pascal Auclair:

Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America with revered monastics and lay teachers. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of TNI’s Guiding Teachers.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Find Comfort in Self-Compassion.”

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October 10th is World Mental Health Day - and to mark the event, Yale professor Dr Laurie Santos of The Happiness Lab podcast has assembled a crew of fellow hosts from the top wellness shows, a group we’re calling The Titans of Happiness.   

Dr Joy Harden Bradford is a clinical psychologist and host of the podcast Therapy for Black Girls.

Gretchen Rubin is the OG of wellbeing experts. She’s written many best-selling happiness books - most recently Life in Five Senses and hosts Happier with Gretchen Rubin. 

Dan Harris was a TV news anchor who - after having a panic attack live on air - promoted mindfulness meditation practices on his hit show 10% Happier. 

And since she wanted this to be an extra special episode, Dr Laurie invited one extra, extra special guest, Sesame Street’s Elmo. Elmo’s only three and half, so Samantha Maltin (Chief Branding and Marketing Officer at Sesame Workshop) came along with him.  

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This stuff can be done by anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Kaira Jewel Lingo, a frequent flier on this show, was an ordained Buddhist nun for 15 years. Now she lives in New York, writes books, and teaches meditation all over the world. Valerie Brown is a former lawyer and lobbyist who traded in her high-pressure job to teach the dharma. She also works as an executive coach. And Marisela Gomez is a physician, public health scholar and longtime meditator. 

All three guests come out of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum village tradition. They also are the co-authors of the new book Healing Our Way Home: Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy, and Liberation. 

Related Episodes:

• 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• The Medieval Executioner in Your Head | Valerie Brown

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Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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Up until now, in our culture, we’ve generally talked about physical health and mental health–but there’s an emerging consensus that the missing piece is social health.

But what can you actually do to improve your social health? Today we’re going deep with the scientist who has thought a lot about this, and has a ton of good advice.

Kasley Killam, MPH, is a leading expert in social health and the award-winning author of The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier. As a graduate of the Harvard School of Public Health, sought-after advisor and keynote speaker, and founder of Social Health Labs, Killam has been improving global well-being through connection for over a decade. Her collaborations with organizations like Google, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the World Economic Forum contribute to building more socially healthy products, workplaces, and communities. Killam’s insights can be found in outlets such as The New York Times, Forbes, NPR, Scientific American, Psychology Today, and The Washington Post.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why social health is so important, and how it impacts our physical and mental health
• How to figure out what your social style is
• Tips for strengthening your social muscles
• What you can do to boost your social health muscles
• How much vulnerability is appropriate 
• How to have a healthy relationship with yourself
• How legislation could help with social health
• Emerging industries for social fitness
• And lastly, how we can work towards creating a society that cultivates connection

Related Episodes:

Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff

Rethinking Success | Mia Birdsong

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Without a good compass, it is hard to have a sense of direction. Our inner world is much the same—and you can fine-tune your aim in life by sensing where you are right now.  

About Emily Horn:

Emily Horn is on the core team of Buddhist Geeks, which integrates technology, culture, and meditation. She is authorized to teach meditation by Spirit Rock Meditation Center, Insight Meditation Society, and InsightLA, and has been called a “power player of the mindfulness movement" by Wired Magazine.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Tuning Your Inner Compass.”

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A deep dive on one of the thorniest and most destructive states of mind.

For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle anger. This is the first in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.

****

Want to study and practice with today's guests? Please check out these Spirit Rock offerings:

Matthew Brensilver, Buddhist Psychology Training (Begins in January)

Vinny Ferraro: A Year to Live; Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully (Begins in January)

Kaira Jewel Lingo: Healing Our Way Home (Oct. 20); Insight Meditation Retreat (April 9-16; opens Dec. 11)

All 10% Happier listeners receive a discount code for our December Insight Retreat (Dec. 8-18) with the code TENPERCENT

& if you'd like to study with these guests on the East Coast, check out these retreats at the Insight Meditation Society:

Kaira Jewel Lingo, Strength to Love: Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King: Jr. (Jan 17 - Jan 20), and Return to Wholeness: Opening to Wisdom & Love (Mar 23 - Mar 29)

Vinny Ferraro, Peace in Presence: A Four-Night Retreat for All (Jan 31 - Feb 4)

Related Episodes:

• 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
• Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro
• Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver
• How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver
• The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross
• I Just Went Through A Career Earthquake: This Is What's Next.
• How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy
• Get Happier Without Losing Your Edge | Kamala Masters
• Best of the Archives: Making it RAIN | Tara Brach
• Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff

Also, the teachers’ sites:

https://vinnyferraro.org/

Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live

https://www.kairajewel.com/

https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/

Feedback form: Let us know what you think!

https://www.happierapp.com/contact

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Dr. Sanjay Gupta is the multiple Emmy Award-winning chief medical correspondent for CNN and host of the CNN podcast Chasing Life. Gupta, a practicing neurosurgeon, plays an integral role in CNN’s reporting on health and medical news for all of CNN’s shows domestically and internationally. In addition to his work for CNN, Gupta is an associate professor of neurosurgery at Emory University Hospital and associate chief of neurosurgery at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta. He is the author of four New York Times best-selling books, “Chasing Life” (2007), “Cheating Death” (2009), “Monday Mornings” (2012), and “Keep Sharp: Building a Better Brain” (2020).

In this episode we talk about:

• Sanjay’s origin story and how he got interested in the brain in the first place
• The mysteries of consciousness
• We dive into his five pillars of brain health
• How you can grow new brain cells by moving the body (but in certain ways)
• Key skills for challenging your brain
• We hear about some meditation tips Sanjay picked up from the Dalai Lama
• Whether we should worry alone or with other people
• And lastly, why it’s so important for men to have vulnerable conversations with each other

Related Episodes:

The Dalai Lama’s Guide to Happiness

#230: The Power of Rest | Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

#614. Your Brain on Food | Dr. Uma Naidoo

The Science Of Memory: How To Get Better At Remembering And Be Okay With Forgetting | Charan Ranganath

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/sanjay-gupta-836

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This practice is an opportunity to take a break from *thinking* about frustration and feel a little bit of balance, ease, and patience.

About JoAnna Hardy:

JoAnna Hardy can talk about meditation to pretty much anybody. She not only teaches in traditional environments like retreat centers, but also in both schools and jails. JoAnna has been studying meditation for nearly two decades and she's done some amazing work ensuring that the practice is available to people who might not otherwise have access to it. JoAnna teaches at the Insight Meditation Society, at Spirit Rock, and is a Founding Member of The Meditation Coalition.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “When You’re Frustrated.”

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Bringing you an episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky Kennedy. 

Even if you don't consider yourself an anxious person, once you become a parent, it is easy to start worrying about the health and wellbeing of your child. But parents need to learn to manage their anxiety for themselves and their kids. To celebrate the 10th anniversary of his book, 10% Happier, Dan Harris joins Dr. Becky to dispel some of the myths about meditation and to show parents how meditation can be a practical strategy in their everyday lives.

Check out Dr. Becky's appearance on the 10% Happier Podcast here.

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A (potentially challenging) Buddhist recipe handling anxious times.

Tara Brach, a legendary meditation teacher, psychologist, and frequent flier on this show. She is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington and has been active in bringing meditation into schools, prisons and underserved populations. She has also written several books including Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion and Trusting the Gold. 

In this episode we talk about:

• A Buddhist tradition known as the Bodhisattva teachings… which are quite radical… and which Tara thinks can vastly improve your life… and the health of democracy. 
• We also talk about: why some people might think this stuff is too soft
• 4 practices to develop compassion 
• A mindfulness technique known as RAIN
• How mindfulness can help you see what is beneath your anger
• Letting distress be a portal—and the amazing phrase, “action absorbs anxiety”
• How to get active when you have limited time
• And how to counteract the tendency to numb out

Tara also recorded a guided meditation based on this conversation, which you can find on www.DanHarris.com.

Related Episodes:

• The Dalai Lama’s Guide To Happiness
• Vitamin E: How To Cultivate Equanimity Amidst Political Chaos | Election Sanity Series | Roshi Joan Halifax
• A Counterintuitive Source of Hope | Sebene Selassie
• Best of the Archives: Making it RAIN | Tara Brach
• Can You Handle This? | Tara Brach
• How to Stop the War Against Yourself | Tara Brach

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/tarabrach-833

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The connection between your psychology and your health, and how to work with it.

Ellen J. Langer is the author of eleven books, including the international bestseller

Mindfulness, which has been translated into fifteen languages, and Counterclockwise:

Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility. Most recently, she is the author of The

Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health.

Langer is the recipient of, among other numerous awards and honors, a Guggenheim

Fellowship, the Award for Distinguished Contributions to Psychology in the Public

Interest from the American Psychological Association, the Award for Distinguished

Contributions of Basic Science to the Application of Psychology from the American

Association of Applied and Preventive Psychology, and the Adult Development and

Aging Distinguished Research Achievement Award from the American Psychological

Association.

She is the author of more than 200 research articles and her trailblazing experiments in

social psychology have earned her inclusion in The New York Times Magazine’s “Year

in Ideas” issue. A member of the psychology department at Harvard University and a

painter, she lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

In this episode we talk about:

• The power of placebos
• Why she isn’t a fan of positive thinking as it is talked about in new age circles
• Her version of mindfulness, which is quite different from the version we usually talk about here on the show, which comes out of Buddhism
• Psychological treatments for chronic illness 
• Smart strategies for reframing aging. 
• Why the world would be boring if you knew it all
• What she means by her concept of a “mindful utopia”
• And her favorite one liners 

Related Episodes:

• The Science Of Manifestation: Can This Stanford Neuroscientist Convince A Skeptical Dan To Give It A Shot? | Dr. James R. Doty
• How to Get the Wisdom of Old Age Now | Dilip Jeste 
• Tripping Out with a Legend: Jon Kabat-Zinn on Pain vs. Suffering, Rethinking Your Anxiety, and the Buddha's Teaching in a Single Sentence

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Start focused on what's truly important. When you pause to remember the big picture, your day can move forward grounded in integrity & wisdom.

About Alexis Santos:

Alexis has practiced and taught Insight Meditation in both the East and West since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya (a well respected meditation teacher in Burma whose teachings have attracted a global audience), and his teaching emphasizes knowing the mind through a natural and relaxed continuity -- a style of practice that's particularly useful during our crazy lives. Alexis has completed the Spirit Rock/IMS Teacher Training, teaches retreats across the globe, and currently lives in Portland, Maine.

To find this meditation in the Happier app, you can search for “Wake Up With Perspective.”

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Natasha Rothwell created, executive produced, and stars in the highly anticipated series How To Die Alone.

Natasha is best known for her Emmy Nominated performance in HBO’s The White Lotus and is set to reprise her role as Belinda Lindsey in the third season of the series currently in production.

She is also known for her critically acclaimed work as a series regular, writer, director, and producer on HBO’s Insecure, for which she has won a Peabody Award and received the 2022 NAACP Image Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy.

Having previously written for Saturday Night Live, and after penning screenplays for Netflix, Paramount, and HBO Max— Natasha’s original screenplay Black Comic-Con was selected for the 2021 Sundance Screenwriters Lab.

Her genre-bending feature, along with several other projects, are in development at her production company, Big Hattie Productions—founded in 2020 to focus on creating, producing, and developing projects that champion marginalized voices in subversive ways.

In this episode we talk about:

• Being alone vs being lonely
• How she handles her own tendencies toward people-pleasing and burnout
• Working with doubt, faith and the venerable cliche of “trusting in the universe”
• Envy (and how it’s a partner to the scarcity mindset)
• Therapy
• Meditation
• Why she loves RomComs — and her issues with them 
• And we go Behind the scenes in a TV writer’s room — and why it’s even tougher when the character is you 

Related Episodes:

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion Ain't Always Soft | Kristin Neff 

Non-Negotiables Playlist

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Meditation retreats are the object of much intrigue and even suspicion. So today, we’re going to take you inside a 10-day silent meditation retreat that Dan recently did with his teacher, Joseph Goldstein. You’ll also hear from Senior Producer, Marissa Schneiderman, who was fresh off a retreat of her own, with meditation teachers Alexis Santos and Andrea Fella. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The ups and downs of retreats
• Some famous Buddhist listicles, including the five hindrances
• The importance of repetition
• We’ll hear snippets of Joseph answering Dan’s questions
• We find out what “cowboy dharma” is
• What it feels like to wear shit colored glasses
• How to stop getting caught in a mind trap
• And lastly, we listen to voicemails and answer audience questions! 

Related Episodes:

Joseph Goldstein On: How Not To Try Too Hard in Meditation, Why You Shouldn't "Waste Your Suffering," and the Value Of Seeing How Ridiculous You Are

#377. A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

#327 Uprooting Your Delusions | Andrea Fella 

How to Take Risks (an Experimental Episode) | Marissa Schneiderman

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It’s so easy, especially these days, to numb out. To get bored. To move through life on autopilot. There is even a scientific term for this: habituation.

Today we’re talking to a researcher who co-authored a new book about the neuroscience of habit and how to wake up again. To make things exciting. Or as she says, to “re-sparkle”. 

Tali Sharot is a professor of cognitive neuroscience at University College London and MIT. She’s written several books including The Optimism Bias and The Influential Mind. Her latest, co-written with Cass Sunstein, is called Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always There. 

In this episode we talk about:

• What habituation is and what’s going on in the brain when it happens
• How it negatively impacts the joy we feel in life – and inversely – how it can make us stop noticing the bad stuff
• Key strategies for disrupting habituation and introducing change and variety into your life
• The interesting relationship between creativity and people who habituate slowly
• How habituation impacts our relationships
• Why it’s important to break up the good experiences, but swallow the bad whole.
• How to wake up from a “technologically induced coma”
• How people emotionally habituate to dishonesty and lying
• And lastly, we talk about the dangers of habituating to a slow, incremental rise in tyranny – and how dis-habituation entrepreneurs can help

Related Episodes:

#345 How to Change Your Habits | Katy Milkman

How Turning Habits Into Rituals Can Help You At Home, At Work, And When You’re Anxious | Michael Norton

Making and Breaking Habits, Sanely | Kelly McGonigal

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Recorded live at the Omega Institute, Dan leads us through a loving-kindness meditation, followed by discussion with retreat co-leaders Jeff Warren and Sebene Selassie.

For more information on the next upcoming Meditation Party retreat, including scholarships available for BIPOC participants, visit Omega Institute. 

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We also talk about: whether it is possible to be a failed meditator; grief versus mourning; and meditation tips for parents.

Sebene Selassie is a writer, teacher, and speaker who leads meditation, creativity, and nature-based practices for personal & collective liberation. Using ancient wisdom and modern science mixed with her own relational and relatable style, Sebene helps spiritually curious people explore the profound and sacred truth of belonging. She is trained as a meditation teacher, an integral coach, a practitioner of Indigenous Focusing Oriented Therapy for Complex Trauma (IFOT), and is a licensed hiking guide in New York State. She has taught classes, workshops and retreats online and in person for almost fifteen years. Sebene is a devoted student of mystic traditions, including astrology, and writes the popular newsletter Ancestors to Elements. Her first book, You Belong: A Call for Connection, is published by HarperOne. 

Jeff Warren is a meditation instructor and writer, known for his dynamic and accessible style of teaching. He is the co-author of The New York Times best-selling Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, founder of the nonprofit Consciousness Explorers Club, and co-host of the Mind Bod Adventure Pod. Jeff's Do Nothing Project streams for free every Sunday night on YouTube; his guided meditations reach millions of people through the Ten Percent Happier and Calm apps, as well as through his Substack, Home Base. 

Jeff’s mission is to empower people to care for their mental health, through the realistic, intelligent and sometimes irreverent exploration of meditation and personal growth practices. As someone with both ADHD and bipolar, he is big on destigmatizing mental health issues, and championing a neurodiverse outlook on life and practice.

Tascha Schumann is a Buddhist Lama, writer, visual artist, co-host of The Mind Bod Adventure Pod, and Juno-nominated recording artist whose work has been streamed many millions of times around the world.

Related Episodes:

How to Stay Calm No Matter What’s Happening | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Meditation Party: The “Sh*t Is Fertilizer” Edition | Sebene Selassie & Jeff Warren

Meditation Party with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren: Psychedelics, ADHD, Waking Up From Distraction, and Singing Without Being Self-Conscious

Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

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In which Dan gets candid about a major life struggle, the practical takeaways, and a big new project.

In this episode:

• Dan shares news about what’s next for him
• His strategies and lessons from a big career change including how to deal with conflict, anger and insomnia
• What he's learned about the power of self-compassion, the value of failure and how to gain perspective when you need it most 

If you'd like to be a member of Dan's new community but a subscription isn't affordable for you, write to [email protected], and we'll hook you up, no questions asked.

Related Episodes:

Your Sleep Questions, Answered | Donn Posner

How To Sleep Better | Diane Macedo

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff

Check out all the offerings at DanHarris.com

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/dan-career-earthquake

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download

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This Stanford psychologist has evidence that being a cynic is bad for your health, and offers a non-corny alternative. 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He’s the author of The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World, and his new book is called Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness.

In this episode we talk about:

• What cynicism is, and why it’s so appealing
• His own history as a “recovering cynic,”
• How to know if you yourself are a cynic
• A step-by-step guide to start developing the “hopeful skeptic” mindset
• How to get better at disagreeing with other people, including some rules of engagement
• And how to encourage kids not to become cynical

Related Episodes:

How (and Why) to Hack Your Empathy | Jamil Zaki

Reversing the Golden Rule | Jamil Zaki

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Recorded live at the Omega Institute, Jeff guides us through two different approaches to being attentive to our experience — followed by a discussion with Dan and Sebene.

About Jeff Warren:

Jeff makes meditation and practice accessible to diverse audiences in order to help people live more fulfilled and connected lives. He’s taught meditation to suspicious journalists, US Army cadets, burned-out caregivers, Arizona cops, formerly-incarcerated youth, virtuoso popstars, distractible teens, and every other conceivable demographic of freethinker, including squirmy six-year old kids.  He tries to do this in a way that’s rigorous and clear and adventurous. You can find out more about him at jeffwarren.org. 

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We all know that change is inevitable and impermanence is non-negotiable. But somehow it can feel surprising, maybe even wrong, when we personally hit turbulence. The Buddha had a lot to say about this, and so does our guest. 

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Dharma teacher who has a lifelong interest in blending spirituality and meditation with social justice. Having grown up in an ecumenical Christian community where families practiced a new kind of monasticism and worked with the poor, at the age of twenty-five she entered a Buddhist monastery in the Plum Village tradition and spent fifteen years living as a nun under the guidance of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. She received Lamp Transmission from Thich Nhat Hanh and became a Zen teacher in 2007, and is also a teacher in the Vipassana Insight lineage through Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Today she sees her work as a continuation of the Engaged Buddhism developed by Thich Nhat Hanh as well as the work of her parents, inspired by their stories and her dad’s work with Martin Luther King Jr. on desegregating the South. 

In addition to writing We Were Made for These Times: Skilfully Moving through Change, Loss and Disruption, she is also the editor of Thich Nhat Hanh’s Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children. Now based in New York, she teaches and leads retreats internationally, provides spiritual mentoring, and interweaves art, play, nature, racial and earth justice, and embodied mindfulness practice in her teaching. She especially feels called to share the Dharma with Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, as well as activists, educators, youth, artists, and families. Her newest book, co-written with Marisela B. Gomez and Valerie Brown, is  Healing Our Way Home: Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy, and Liberation.

In this episode we talk about:

• waking up to what’s happening right now
• trusting the unknown (easier said than done) 
• A Buddhist list called the five remembrances 
• how gratitude helps us in times of disruption
• And accepting what is (and why this is different from resignation or passivity)

Please note: There are brief mentions of domestic violence, abuse, the suffering of refugees, and war in this episode.

Related Episodes:

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo

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Cognitive scientist Maya Shankar talks about how to get comfortable with uncertainty in an ever-changing world. 

It seems like a design flaw in our species that we live in a world of constant change yet most of us are not comfortable with uncertainty. 

In this episode, we talk to Maya Shankar about how to get better at dealing with change and to stop seeking what scientists call “cognitive closure.”

Shankar is a former Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She also served as the first Behavioral Science Advisor to the United Nations, and is currently a Senior Director of Behavioral Economics at Google. She is the host of the Pushkin Industries podcast A Slight Change of Plans, which was named Best Show of the Year in 2021 by Apple. 

In this episode we talk about: 

• Why humans are so uncomfortable with uncertainty and change
• What a behavioral scientist actually does in the world
• Why even the host of a podcast about change isn’t immune to the uncertainties of life 
• The benefits of cultivating a more malleable sense of self
• Why humans are such bad forecasters
• The importance of auditing yourself when you’re undergoing a big change
• How to take advantage of big reset moments
• The concept of cognitive closure and why encouraging an open mind can make us more resilient  

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/maya-shankar-466

Where to find Maya Shankar online: 

Website: mayashankar.com

Social Media:

• Twitter 
• Facebook
• Instagram

Books Mentioned:

• The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language 
• Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth, and Happiness
• Stumbling on Happiness

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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This is the first time you’ve ever been here, now. Pascal invites you to discover the vivid and mysterious experience of this new moment.

About Pascal Auclair:

Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America with revered monastics and lay teachers. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of TNI’s Guiding Teachers.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Rediscover the Familiar.”

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Cultivating resilience in the face of whatever comes up.

Ethan Nichtern is the author of Confidence: Holding Your Seat through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds and several other titles, including the widely acclaimed The Road Home: A Contemporary Exploration of the Buddhist Path. A renowned contemporary Buddhist teacher and the host of The Road Home Podcast, Nichtern has offered meditation and Buddhist psychology classes at conferences, meditation centers, yoga studios, and universities, including Brown, Yale, and NYU. He has been featured by CNN, NPR, the New York Times, Vogue, and Business Insider and has written for the Huffington Post, Beliefnet, Lion’s Roar, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and more. He lives in Brooklyn. Visit him online at http://www.EthanNichtern.com.

In this episode we talk about:

• Authentic vs performative confidence
• The line between humility and confidence
• A Buddhist list called the Eight Worldly Winds
• A slew of little practices you can do in order to boost your confidence (or resilience or equanimity)
• The meaning of self-confidence in a tradition that argues the self is an illusion

Related Episodes:

• A Buddhist Approach to Money Worries | Ethan Nichtern
• The Dharma of the Princess Bride | Ethan Nichtern
• How To Get Ahead At Work, Buddhist-Style | David Nichtern
• #574. Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

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Smart and practical strategies for living, in Maria's words, wonder-smitten by reality.

Maria Popova thinks and writes about our search for meaning — sometimes through science and philosophy, sometimes through poetry and children's books, always through the lens of wonder. She is the creator of The Marginalian (born in 2006 under the name Brain Pickings), which is included in the Library of Congress permanent digital archive of culturally valuable materials, author of Figuring, and maker of the live show The Universe in Verse — a charitable celebration of the wonder of reality through stories of science winged with poetry, which is now also a book.

In this episode we talk about:

• Wonder as a tool for improving all of your relationships
• The tyranny of the word should
• How the hardest thing in life is not getting what you want, it's knowing what you want
• Why she doesn't believe in making meditation a tool, even though she's been practicing for 14 years
• The illusion of certainty
• The immense value of intellectual humility
• Strategies for outgrowing your old habits
• Her new book, The Universe in Verse, which is a combination of science and poetry

From The Marginalian: How to Love the World More: George Saunders on the Courage of Uncertainty

Related Episodes:

• Bill Hader on Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, and Leaning Intro Discomfort
• The Science Of Getting Out Of Your Head | Annie Murphy Paul
• George Saunders on: “Holy Befuddlement” and How to Be Less of a “Turd”
• The Profound Upside of Self-Diminishment | George Saunders
• A Radical Approach to Productivity, Self-Compassion Series | Jocelyn K. Glei

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A busy city is an ideal place to cultivate loving-kindness and powerfully connect to those around you while you’re out & about.

About Jay Michaelson:

Jay Michaelson is a writer & journalist, rabbi & meditation teacher, keynote speaker, and scholar of religion. Jay is the author of ten books, most recently The Secret That Is Not A Secret: Ten Heretical Tales. His 2022 book, The Heresy of Jacob Frank: From Jewish Messianism to Esoteric Myth, won the National Jewish Book Award for scholarship. He holds a JD from Yale, a PhD in Jewish Thought from Hebrew University, and nondenominational rabbinic ordination.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Loving-Kindness in the City.”

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There’s a great podcast we want to introduce you to today, hosted by our friend Rachel Martin at NPR. It’s her new show, called Wild Card, which she describes as “part-interview, part-existential game show.” It’s a different way of approaching a celebrity interview, with a special deck of cards that helps shape the conversation. It’s a really fun show, and she talks to some really big names, including David Lynch, LeVar Burton, Issa Rae, and US Poet Laureate Ada Limon. 

Rachel was also a guest on this very podcast recently, and we had a great conversation and even played a little bit of the card game, so go back in your podcast feed and check that out. You can also listen to it here. 

The Wild Card episode we’re sharing with you today features Taylor Tomlinson, who has found the kind of success many comedians dream about, with multiple Netflix specials and a late-night hosting gig — After Midnight on CBS. She tells Rachel that part of the secret to her success is fear. They also swap stories about their Christian upbringings, the search for validation and getting things stuck up their noses.

So enjoy this episode, and check out Wild Card wherever you find your podcasts. 

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The radio stalwart addresses life’s biggest questions.

Rachel Martin is the co-creator and host of the podcast Wild Card, an interview game show about life's biggest questions. She invites notable guests to play a card game that lets them open up about the memories, insights, and beliefs that have shaped their lives.

Martin spent six years as a host of Morning Edition, and was the founding host of NPR's award-winning morning news podcast Up First. She previously hosted Weekend Edition Sunday. She served as National Security Correspondent for NPR, where she covered both defense and intelligence issues, and also worked as a NPR foreign correspondent. Martin also previously served as NPR's religion correspondent. 

In this episode we talk about:

• How to survive the news
• How to make a huge career pivot
• What it’s like to become an orphan as an adult
• Insomnia and meditation
• How to decide what matters in your life
• We play the game Wild Card!
• We talk about how good we are at being wrong
• And lastly, something light… mortality and the infinite universe.

Related Episodes:

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

How To Find Meaningful Work in a Rapidly Changing World | Bruce Feiler

Why We Panic: A Journalist Investigates Anxiety, Fear, and How To Deal With It | Matt Gutman

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Lessons learned from the psychiatric hospital

We’ve got a fascinating and very personal discussion today about the often very painful gap between the way you feel on the inside and the way the world perceives you. We also cover the urgency and difficulty of sitting with your own discomfort. 

Anna Marie Tendler is an artist and writer. She is also the author of a new memoir called ‘Men Have Called Her Crazy’. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The circumstances of her checking into a psychiatric hospital in 2021
• The difference between our interior emotions and our exterior selves
• The help she found through Dialectical Behavior Therapy – DBT
• We dive into a very specific theme of the book – and its title – the insidious ways in which men have impacted her life. 
• And lastly, how she found a way to sit with discomfort and pain, while showing up in the world authentically to herself.

Related Episodes:

#510. Me, a Love Story: How Being OK With Yourself Makes You Better at Everything | Sharon Salzberg

The Science Of Speaking Up For Yourself | Elaine Lin Hering (Co-interviewed by Dan's wife Bianca!)

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Dan dweebs out with a dad rock icon.

Jeff Tweedy is the lead singer and songwriter of the Grammy award winning rock band, Wilco. The band have put out 13 albums… and shortly after this interview was conducted, the band put out a new EP. Jeff has released two solo albums and has written three books, including his latest, which is called World Within A Song: Music That Changed My Life And Life That Changed My Music.

This interview is part of an occasional series we do called Boldface, where we talk to well known people who are willing to go there. We’ve already dropped two Boldface episodes this week: the rapper and author Common and the actress, activist and author Goldie Hawn.

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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This multi-hyphenate opens up about his four pillars of health and success

Common is an Oscar, Golden Globe, Emmy, and Grammy Award–winning music artist. He is an actor and producer, and has appeared in numerous critically acclaimed films, as well as hit TV series. He is the author of One Day It’ll All Make Sense and Let Love Have the Last Word, which were both New York Times bestsellers. He was raised in Chicago and currently resides in Brooklyn.

In this episode we talk about:

• Common’s relationship with self esteem growing up, and where he eventually found his own self worth.
• What it’s like dealing with rejection as an artist
• His book ‘And Then We Rise’
• The four different wellness pillars in his book; food, the body, the mind, and the soul
• The positive impact that therapy has had on his life
• What his meditation practice looks like
• The evolution of vulnerability in hip hop
• The evolution of vulnerability in his life
• And his relationship with spirituality

Related Episodes:

Rewire How You Talk To Yourself | Ofosu Jones-Quartey

#597. Mike D On: The Value of Failure, the Addictive Power of Adrenaline, and How a Beastie Boy Got Into Lovingkindness

#311 Karamo: How To Actually Do Self-Love

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Don’t be fooled by the bubbly public persona.

Goldie Hawn is an Academy Award winning actress, producer, director, and best-selling author. She’s written two best-selling books, a memoir called A Lotus Grows in the Mud and then, more recently, 10 Mindful Minutes, which is for kids and parents. She is also the Founder of MindUP, a charity that equips children with mental fitness.

In this episode we talk about:

• How she got interested in meditation — a story that, like Dan’s, involves panic attacks
• The power of curiosity 
• What she means when she talks about God
• What it means to take a “brain break”
• Why jealousy has never really been part of her repertoire
• And how to make a romantic relationship last.

Related Episodes:

How To Live A Happier Life | The Dalai Lama & Dr. Richard Davidson

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Our inner critics are sticky and painful. Practice radical kindness and self-compassion to reprogram harmful self-talk habits.

About La Sarmiento:

La Sarmiento (they/them) is a mentor for the MIndfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program (MMTCP) and a teacher with Banyan. They have taught meditation retreats for BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, Teens, and Young Adults, and everyone in-between around the United States since 2010 and are a 2012 graduate of the Spirit Rock Community Dharma Leader Training. 

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “When Your Inner Critic Is Unrelenting.”

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A personal program for working with election-induced anxiety.

We’re dropping a special/experimental pod today, because we know a lot of you are freaking out about the election — so Dan’s going to talk through some strategies he is personally using to keep it together during this turbulent time. 

Additional Resources: 

Podcast episode with Bill Doherty (Braver Angels)

Feedback form: let us know what you think!

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Cara Lai has worked as an artist, wilderness guide, social worker, and therapist before becoming a full time meditation teacher. She teaches teens and adults at Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and Ten Percent Happier.

To find out more about what Cara does, you can go to her website, www.caralai.org – where she’s got some online meditation classes, including one called Meditate Your Face Off. She also has a monthly class for parents, co-led by Ofosu Jones-Quartey and Jess Morey, both of whom have been heard on this podcast.

Speaking of podcasts, Cara also co-hosts a podcast called Adventures in Meditating (For Parents), along with Jess Morey and Jon Roberts.

Cara will also be a core teacher for a 14-week residential semester program for youth ages 18-32 this Fall in Marlboro VT. The program is called the Contemplative Semester, and there are many folks who will be teaching who have been in the TPH orbit, including Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jessica Morey, Kaira Jewel Lingo, and more. You can find more info at www.contemplativesemester.org

Related Episodes:

The Upside of Desire | Cara Lai 

Can You Get Fit Without Self-Loathing? | Cara Lai 

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A Harvard professor on how to elevate everyday activities in order to lift your mood, improve your relationships and rise to new challenges.

Michael Norton is the Harold M. Brierley Professor of Business Administration at the Harvard Business School. He has studied human behavior as it relates to love and inequality, time and money, and happiness and grief. He is the author of The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions. 

In this episode we talk about: 

• The difference between habits and rituals
• How rituals impact various spheres of life, including creativity, grief and politics - and how not all rituals are beneficial 
• how to transform your everyday activities into rituals and how they can inject meaning into your life and give a boost to your relationships
• How to introduce rituals into your workplace without falling back on cliché (like trust falls)

Related Episodes:

What Science Says About Money and Happiness | Elizabeth Dunn — Ten Percent Happier 

How to Benefit From Religion, Even as a Nonbeliever | David DeSteno — Ten Percent Happier

How to Change Your Habits | Katy Milkman — Ten Percent Happier   

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When you’re spiraling with intense emotions, here’s a practice to help pick you up off the bathroom floor. 

About Sebene Selassie:

Growing up, Sebene felt like a big weirdo. Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in white neighborhoods in Washington, D.C., she was a tomboy Black girl who loved Monty Python and UB40. She never believed she belonged. Thirty years ago, she began studying Buddhism as an undergraduate at McGill University where she majored in Comparative Religious Studies. Now, Sebene is a teacher, author, and speaker who teaches that meditation can help us remember our inherent sense of belonging, that our individual freedom affects absolutely everyone and everything, and that our collective freedom depends on each and every one of us. Sebene is a three-time cancer survivor of Stage III and IV cancer.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Meltdown.”

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The two practices that helped turn this self described scowling, sarcastic skeptic into an expert meditator

Since 1999, Devin Berry has been a dedicated meditation practitioner, his practice is deeply rooted in the metta and vipassana teachings of the Insight Meditation tradition. He spent nearly five years in silent, intensive retreats, cultivating his practice and understanding. Devin is deeply committed to the personal and collective liberation of marginalized communities, believing that integrating reflection and insight leads to clarity and wisdom, which in turn fosters wise action.

Devin is a dharma teacher at Spirit Rock and the Insight Meditation Society (IMS), where he serves as a guiding teacher. He also shares his teachings through Sounds True and at various sanghas and centers across the country.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why mindfulness alone is not enough
• How metta is part of four related mental skills, called the brahma viharas—and how to practice those
• The story of how and why the Buddha invented the Metta practice.
• The role and practice of Dana – generosity.
• Devin’s year long Metta/Dana experiment 
• And lastly, how these practices can help us on and off the cushion

Related Episodes:

Sharon Salzberg Takes on the Cliches: Authenticity, Love, and Being Your Own BFF

Mike D On: The Value of Failure, the Addictive Power of Adrenaline, and How a Beastie Boy Got Into Lovingkindness

Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

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