Dr Justin Coulson’s Happy Families

Getting enough sleep is the number one parenting hack, but what happens when your children won't cooperate? Historically, humans slept in groups, which explains why your child resists sleeping alone. Breaking free from bedtime battles requires giving children a voice in their routine, changing your perspective on this fleeting season, and doing whatever it takes to ensure everyone gets some rest—even if that means musical beds at 2 a.m.

Key Points:

• Force creates resistance—the more you try to control bedtime, the more children push back.
• Giving children a voice through family meetings or one-on-one discussions about bedtime helps them buy into routines.
• Humans historically slept in groups—our desire for children to sleep independently is relatively recent.
• Changing your perspective to see this as a season that will pass can help reduce frustration.
• Sometimes the practical solution is simply "do what it takes"—even if that means musical beds at 2 a.m.
• Dental hygiene matters—parents should help children brush teeth until about age 8.
• Electric toothbrushes with timers can make tooth brushing more engaging for children.
• Having the dentist explain the importance of oral hygiene can remove parents from being the sole authority.
• What feels like an eternal struggle will eventually pass and may even be missed someday.
• You can give children more autonomy in some areas while maintaining boundaries in others (like dental care).

Resources Mentioned:

• Happy Families website
• Electric toothbrushes with timers

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Have a one-on-one conversation with each child about their ideal bedtime routine, giving them a voice while maintaining reasonable boundaries.
2. Change your perspective—recognize this difficult season is temporary and years from now you might miss these cuddles.
3. Do what it takes to ensure everyone gets sleep, even if that means unorthodox arrangements temporarily.
4. For dental hygiene, use engaging tools like electric toothbrushes and enlist the dentist as an authority figure.

Submit your own parenting questions at happyfamilies.com.au or email [email protected].

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stop trying to control other people's moods, opinions, and behaviours—it's exhausting and impossible. Instead, try Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" which teaches two simple words—"let them"—to reclaim your power and energy. When you stop obsessing over what others think or do, you finally focus on what matters: your own life. But that's only half the equation. The crucial second step is saying "let me" take action on what I CAN control.

# Quote of the Episode:

"The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them." - Mel Robbins

Key Points:

• The Let Them Theory consists of two parts: "let them" (accepting what others do) and "let me" (choosing your own response).
• When you stop trying to manage other people's emotions and behaviours, you reclaim your energy.
• "Let them" doesn't mean being a doormat—it means acknowledging you can't control others.
• Your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else's behaviour, opinions, or moods.
• Hacking your stress response by saying "let them" and taking a breath interrupts your reactivity.
• Trying to please everyone typically results in pleasing no one and exhausting yourself.
• The method works for handling difficult colleagues, judgmental family members, and stressful situations.
• This approach is primarily for adult relationships, not parenting young children who need guidance.
• Setting boundaries is still important—"let them" doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour.
• People-pleasing often leaves you feeling empty and unappreciated despite your best efforts.

Resources Mentioned:

• "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins (New York Times bestseller)
• Mel Robbins Podcast
• Happy Families website

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Next time someone upsets you, say "let them" silently to yourself, then take a deep breath
2. Follow with "let me" and choose a response that serves your wellbeing
3. Identify one relationship where you're trying too hard to please someone and practice letting go
4. Accept that someone will always be disappointed by your decisions—and that's okay
5. Remember that while you can "let them" with adults, parenting requires appropriate guidance and boundaries with children

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When children need to talk, they'll give subtle clues that most parents miss completely. Recognising these moments and responding with actual listening—not advice, stories, or solutions—creates connections that last decades. The secret? Summarise what they say instead of steering the conversation. Most children never reveal their real issue first, which means parents who jump in with solutions are missing what their children truly need: to be understood.

Quote of the Episode:

"Understanding is the deepest hunger of the human heart." - Stephen Covey (quoted by Ross Judd)

Key Points:

• Children rarely reveal their real issue first—they test the waters with a "safe" topic before sharing what's really bothering them.
• Look for unusual behaviour or emotional signals that indicate your child needs to talk.
• Taking control of the conversation prevents your child from getting to the deeper issue.
• The art of summarising (repeating back what your child has said) is the key to effective listening.
• Our brains think 10 times faster than people speak, making it incredibly difficult to truly listen.
• Deep listening isn't something you need to do all the time—just recognise the important moments.
• Children often already have the answers to their problems; they just need someone to listen.
• Use neutral phrases like "tell me more" to encourage continued sharing.
• Don't change the direction of the conversation with questions that steer it elsewhere.
• Effective listening involves "taking the ride, not the wheel"—let your child drive the conversation.

Resources Mentioned:

• "Listening: A Guide to Building Deeper Connections" by Ross Judd
• "Miss Connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk" by Dr. Justin Coulson
• Stephen Covey's concept of "faithful translation" (active listening technique)
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Recognise special moments when your child is seeking connection (unusual behaviour, lingering in doorways, emotional signals).
2. When these moments occur, stop everything, engage fully, and put away distractions.
3. Use neutral phrases like "tell me more" instead of asking directive questions.
4. Practise summarising what your child says without adding your own input.
5. Remember that the real issue usually comes second—be patient and don't try to solve the first problem they mention.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is traditional schooling the only path to success? In this eye-opening episode, Justin and Kylie challenge the conventional approach to education, sharing their journey through homeschooling and industry-based schooling with their daughter, Lily. They discuss why so many kids feel disconnected from mainstream education, the power of hands-on learning, and how alternative schooling models are helping students find passion, purpose, and career opportunities. If you’ve ever worried about whether the standard school system is serving your child, this episode is a must-listen!

KEY POINTS:

• Many kids feel disconnected from traditional schooling because it lacks real-world application.
• Industry schools combine formal education with hands-on experience, giving kids exposure to different careers.
• Parents often fear that alternative education means failure, but in reality, it can lead to greater success and fulfillment.
• The stigma of leaving mainstream school is often more about parental concerns than what’s best for the child.
• Exposure is key—kids don’t always know what they want to do until they experience different career options.
• There are so many flexible schooling alternatives—vocational training, homeschooling, apprenticeships, online learning, and more.
• Insights from a school principal: The biggest hurdle in education reform is often parents’ reluctance to try something different.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"We’re using medieval institutions to train our children to live in an era where we have god-like technology. They don’t match up—they simply don’t."

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Dark Horse by Todd Rose
• Industry schools, vocational training programs, apprenticeships, and alternative schooling options.
• The Happy Families website 

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. If your child is struggling with school, research alternative education options in your area.
2. Have an open conversation with your child about what excites them and what frustrates them about their education.
3. Challenge the fear of failure. Understand that leaving traditional school doesn’t mean giving up on success—it might be the key to unlocking it.
4. Connect with other parents who have explored homeschooling, vocational programs, or industry schools for insight and support.
5. Encourage your child to explore different careers through internships, apprenticeships, or hands-on learning experiences.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Research reveals that 99% of boys have seen pornography by age 15, with the average first exposure occurring around age 10-11. This isn't your parents' magazine under the bed—today's online explicit content is shaping our children's understanding of relationships and intimacy years before their first kiss. This episode provides practical, research-backed strategies for having essential conversations with your children about pornography and online safety. Learn how to protect your kids while maintaining open communication about this confronting but critical topic.

Quote of the Episode: "Not talking about it isn't protective. You need to talk about it because that's where the protection comes."

Key Points:

• Average first exposure to explicit content occurs around age 10-11
• By age 15, 99% of boys and 50-70% of girls have seen pornography
• Among 15- to 29-year-olds,
•  85% consume explicit content weekly or daily
• Children typically see explicit content 3-3.5 years before their first kiss
• Modern online pornography often contains aggressive and degrading content
• Early exposure shapes expectations about relationships and intimacy
• Open communication is crucial for protecting children
• Parents should normalise curiosity while not endorsing the behaviour
• Discussions should focus on healthy relationships and consent

Resources Mentioned:

• "Boys and Sex" by Peggy Orenstein
• "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" by Louise Perry
• eSafety Commissioner website
• It's Time We Talked
• Fight The New Drug 
• Collective Shout (Melinda Tankard Reist's work)
• Dr Marshall Ballantyne Jones research
• 2017 Australian study on pornography consumption

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Start conversations early—before age two—to build comfort discussing difficult topics
2. Talk often and naturally about body safety and online dangers
3. Create an environment where children feel safe asking questions
4. Establish clear but supportive boundaries around internet use
5. Respond calmly and without punishment when children report exposure
6. Discuss explicit content in the context of healthy relationships
7. Address curiosity as normal while explaining why certain content is inappropriate
8. Help children develop critical thinking about media messages
9. Install appropriate safety measures on devices
10. Maintain ongoing conversations about consent and healthy relationships

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• Your brain is like a monkey—constantly jumping around, thinking of what to say next, and rarely focused on what others are sharing. Learning to shut up and truly listen, especially during those key moments when your child is trying to tell you something important, is perhaps life's most difficult skill. This preview of Saturday's full interview with Ross Judd reveals why listening is so challenging and how three simple steps can transform your connections with those you love.

Quote of the Episode:

"When we engage, the actual main thing to do here is actually to do nothing. We're not having to fix a problem. We're not having to find solutions. What we actually need to do is to be quiet." - Kylie Coulson

Key Points:

• Don't try to actively listen every minute of every day—it's exhausting and unrealistic.
• Look for clues that indicate someone really needs to talk (unusual behaviour or emotional signals).
• When these important moments occur, engage fully by staying quiet and using neutral phrases like "tell me more".
• Summarise what the person has said to show you've understood.
• Our brains typically prepare to talk rather than truly listen to others.
• Most conversations are like showing "trinkets" from our respective bookshelves rather than truly exploring others' experiences.
• Staying present while listening is incredibly difficult because our "monkey mind" constantly chatters.
• Not offering solutions actually communicates trust that the person has the answers within themselves.
• We typically listen through our own life experiences, which interrupts the other person's thought process.
• Effective listening is a "practice in stillness"—something most humans struggle with

Resources Mentioned:

• 'Listening: A Guide to Building Deeper Connections' by Ross Judd
• '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen Covey
• 'The Emotional Lives of Teenagers' by Lisa D'Amour
• Marco Polo app (mentioned as a tool for asynchronous communication)
• Happy Families website

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Watch for unusual behaviour or emotional signals that indicate your child needs a deeper conversation.
2. When those moments occur, stay quiet and use neutral phrases like "tell me more" rather than offering solutions.
3. Practice summarizsing what your child says to show you've understood and to quiet your own "monkey mind".
4. Remember that by not offering immediate solutions, you're showing confidence in your child's ability to find answers.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Schools are failing our children when boys who make sexual threats remain in class with their victims. A toxic combination of pornography access, weak responses, and "boys will be boys" attitudes is forcing young girls out of education. 

Quote of the Episode:

"When schools allow boys who make sexual threats to remain in class with their victims, they're making a value judgment. They're saying a boy's uninterrupted education matters more than a girl's right to learn without fear." - Justin Coulson

Key Points:

• Sexual harassment via school laptops is happening as early as Grade 7 (age 12)
• Schools often respond inadequately to sexual threats, prioritising perpetrators' education over victims' safety
• Easy access to pornography is fuelling inappropriate sexual behaviour among young boys
• Parents must make noise and demand accountability when their children are victims

If your child is a perpetrator, taking responsibility and ensuring consequences is essential

• Parental monitoring of screen use is the number one protective factor against digital harm
• The e-Safety Commissioner should be contacted in cases of online harassment
• Media attention and public pressure can force educational institutions to take appropriate action
• Both victims and perpetrators need support systems focused on responsibility and empathy

Resources Mentioned:

• E-Safety Commissioner (for reporting online harassment)
• Happy Families
• "Know My Name" by Chanel Miller (book about sexual assault)
• Dan Principe
• Melinda Tankard Reist
• Collective Shout

Action Steps for Parents:

1. If your child is a victim, make noise—report to school authorities, police, the e-Safety Commissioner, and escalate to education departments if necessary.
2. Monitor and supervise all screen time—know what your children are viewing, typing, and who they're communicating with.
3. Have open conversations with your children about online harassment, showing them real examples and developing response strategies.
4. Teach children to block harassers and not engage, as responses often fuel further harassment.
5. If your child is a perpetrator, hold them accountable rather than minimising their behaviour.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we protecting our kids or holding them back? In this episode, Justin talks with Lenore Skenazy about the unintended consequences of overprotection and why kids need to experience risk to build confidence, resilience, and essential life skills. From eliminating stairs in homes to constant parental surveillance, we examine how fear-based parenting is shaping modern childhood—and what we can do to change it.

KEY POINTS:

• The growing trend of designing homes for maximum parental surveillance and risk elimination.

• Why removing all risks from a child’s life can have long-term negative effects on their mental health and independence.

• The difference between reasonable safety precautions (e.g., seat belts, helmets) and excessive protection that stifles growth.

• How parental fear contributes to anxiety, depression, and dependence in kids.

• Practical ways to introduce independence and calculated risk into children’s lives.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"Fear doesn’t prevent death, but it prevents life."

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:

• Removing every possible risk doesn't make kids safer—it makes them less capable.

• Letting children navigate small risks (like climbing stairs, using a knife, or walking to school) helps them build real-world skills.

• Worrying can feel like an action, but it doesn’t change reality—teaching skills and fostering independence does.

• Kids don’t need a risk-free life; they need a chance to learn, adapt, and grow.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Let Grow – Free resources for fostering childhood independence.

• Supervision Not Required podcast – A new podcast on raising confident, capable kids.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Identify one small area where you can give your child more independence.

2. Teach them practical skills rather than avoiding potential risks.

3. Shift your mindset from "How do I eliminate all risks?" to "How do I prepare my child to handle them?"

4. Connect with other parents who value childhood independence to build confidence in your approach.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every conflict between children involves two participants, not one. Breaking the destructive cycle requires recognising your child's role in the drama. Meanwhile, a little sweet talking can transform how your teen receives disappointing news, proving that tone matters more than content when communicating with kids. Discover how thoughtful delivery of bad news and understanding conflict cycles can revolutionise your family relationships.

Quote of the Episode:

"What we say matters a lot less than how we say it." - Justin Coulson

Key Points:

• How you deliver bad news to children significantly impacts their response and your relationship.
• Showing empathy and consideration demonstrates understanding and improves children's receptiveness.
• Ongoing conflicts between children create a "vicious circle" that needs conscious intervention to break.
• Teaching children to recognise their contribution to conflict cycles is essential for resolution.
• Children can learn to break the cycle by either changing their emotional response or changing their behavioural response.
• You can only control your own actions in a conflict, not the other person's.
• Helping children take ownership of their part in conflicts builds emotional intelligence.
• Breaking conflict cycles is a skill that benefits children throughout their lives.

Resources Mentioned:

• "10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know" by Justin Coulson (contains detailed information on breaking conflict cycles)
• Happy Families 

Action Steps for Parents:

1. When delivering bad news, use a considerate tone and show empathy ("sweet talking") to soften the blow.
2. Draw the "vicious circle" with your child to help them visualise their role in conflict cycles.
3. Discuss two ways to break the cycle: changing emotional responses or changing behavioural responses.
4. Have these teaching conversations during calm moments, not during active conflicts.
5. Remember that breaking conflict patterns takes time and consistent practice.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Research from Princeton University reveals that mandatory reading logs actually decrease children's interest in reading. While a quarter of Australian parents barely read to their kids at all, the solution isn't forcing children to track their reading time—it's making reading irresistible. This episode exposes why reading logs are counterproductive and reveals the three crucial keys to raising passionate readers. If you've ever battled with your child over filling in their reading log or worried about their reading habits, this episode offers game-changing strategies that actually work.

Quote of the Episode: "Reading is the key skill to education. It's literally the gateway to all other skills. And if we can get this one thing right with our kids, they're going to make it all right in the world."

Key Points:

• Research shows mandatory reading logs reduce children's motivation and interest in both recreational and academic reading.
• 25% of Australian parents read to their children once a week or less.
• There's up to a million-word annual gap between children from book-rich and book-poor homes.
• 56% of parents feel insecure about their own reading ability, impacting how much they read to their children.
• Three essential strategies for fostering a love of reading:

1. Read to children regularly, using engaging voices and interactive questioning.
2. Model reading behaviour by having parents visibly read physical books.
3. Allow children complete autonomy in their reading choices, even if parents consider the material "below standard".

Resources Mentioned:

• Princeton University study on mandatory reading logs and motivation by Sarah Pak
• Oxford University Press research on Australian family reading habits
• "Wings of Fire" graphic novel series [affiliate link]
• "The Magic Faraway Tree" by Enid Blyton [affiliate link]
• "The Princess Bride" by William Goldman [affiliate link]
• "Donald Duck's New Toy Train" (Little Golden Book)

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Remove any mandatory reading tracking systems.
2. Create easily accessible reading spaces with books within arm's reach.
3. Read to children daily, using expressive voices and engaging discussions.
4. Let children see you reading physical books regularly.
5. Allow children to choose their own reading material without judgment.
6. Keep screens separate from reading time - stick to physical books.
7. Make reading a joyful activity rather than a chore.
8. Ask interactive questions about stories to enhance engagement.
9. Read slower than you think necessary to aid comprehension.
10. Create regular family reading times.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone, she was dubbed "the worst mother in the world." In this preview of Saturday's interview, discover why preparation beats protection and how trusting kids with real responsibility helps them become capable adults. Plus, learn why the illusion of control might be holding our children back.

Quote of the Episode: "If you want responsible kids, you have to give them responsibility"—Alfie Kohn

Key Insights:

• Preparation matters more than protection.
• Trust builds capability and confidence.
• Control is ultimately an illusion.
• Mistakes are learning opportunities.
• Clear boundaries enable independence.
• Practice builds competence.
• Real-world experience teaches responsibility.
• Consequences should lead to learning, not restriction.

Resources Mentioned:

• Let Grow movement
• Lenore Skenazy's work
• Jonathan Haidt's research
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Prepare Rather than Prevent

• Practice skills before independence
• Provide necessary tools and information
• Create clear safety guidelines

• Start with small responsibilities
• Allow learning from mistakes
• Maintain open communication

• Use setbacks as teaching moments
• Celebrate increased independence
• Balance freedom with preparation

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child says they hate school and have no friends, what really works? Discover why building friendships takes 200 hours of intentional time, and learn practical strategies from hosting craft days to finding 'third spaces'. Plus, understand the two key relationships that create true school belonging and why sometimes the best friendships might not be with peers at all.

Quote of the Episode: "Friends don't usually land in our lap—they require intention and time."

Key Insights:

• Close friendships require 200+ hours of intentional time
• School belonging needs two key relationships
• Third spaces beyond home and school are crucial
• Adult friendships can be valuable for children
• Structured activities help build new friendships
• Medical and psychological checks may be needed
• School relationships often need parental facilitation
• Quality family time remains foundational

Resources Mentioned:

• Jeffrey Hall's friendship research from the University of Kansas 
• School belonging research
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Facilitate Intentional Friend Time

• Organise structured activities
• Create regular playdates
• Use third spaces effectively

• Identify potential friend matches
• Build teacher relationships
• Focus on school belonging

• Explore adult mentoring
• Check medical factors
• Strengthen family connections

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if you could tap into your child's natural brain chemistry to boost motivation and reduce stress? Discover the "Happiness Quartet"—four key neurochemicals that can transform behaviour, learning, and family life. From barefoot walks on grass to risky play, learn practical ways to naturally boost these powerful brain chemicals for happier, more motivated kids.

Quote of the Episode: "Break big, difficult tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps - each step triggers a dopamine hit, which fuels motivation and sense of accomplishment."

Key Insights:

• Dopamine works as an anticipation engine
• Serotonin acts as a natural stress reducer
• Endorphins serve as natural painkillers
• Oxytocin builds trust and connection
• Nature exposure boosts multiple positive chemicals
• Physical activity enhances brain chemistry
• Social connections trigger beneficial hormones
• Breaking down tasks increases motivation

Resources Mentioned:

• Neuroscience research on motivation
• Serotonin and nature studies
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. The Dopamine Boost

• Break tasks into smaller steps
• Celebrate progress
• Create anticipation

• Get outside in nature
• Try barefoot grounding
• Practice deep breathing

• Encourage physical activity
• Make time for laughter
• Allow calculated risks

• Prioritise family meals
• Share physical affection
• Create trust-building moments

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with unique challenges, especially when executive function skills—like planning, organisation, and impulse control—are difficult for them.

In this episode, Professor Adam Guastella, a leading expert at the University of Sydney, provides expert insights on how parents can advocate for their children in the education system, the latest neuroscience research, the role of executive function in development, and how to provide supportive environments that foster growth and confidence in children. 

Tune in for practical advice, strategies for success, and a refreshing sense of hope for families facing these challenges.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“It's not a battle of will, it's a battle of systems.” – Professor Adam Guastella

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:

• Autism is not about intelligence; it's about different ways of thinking and interacting with the world.

• What is executive function, and why does it matter?

• The connection between ADHD, autism, and executive function challenges.

• A strength-based approach helps kids feel empowered rather than ashamed of their challenges.

• How parents can advocate for their child at school—even without a diagnosis.

• The importance of structure, and practical strategies and accommodations for helping kids succeed and thrive.

• New research on the cerebellum and its role in neurodevelopment.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• University of Sydney—Professor Adam Guastella’s research

• Happy Families

• Various professionals, such as paediatricians, psychologists, and speech therapists, who can provide advocacy and support.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Build a support team of medical and educational professionals.
2. Stay persistent in seeking the right resources, even if it’s challenging.
3. Highlight your child’s strengths and provide structured support.
4. Educate yourself on neurodevelopmental conditions and executive function.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your Year 12 child can't do maths or your teen rings crying from camp after being bullied, your instinct is to fix everything. But research shows that simply being heard is often more powerful than any solution. This episode reveals how validation, not problem-solving, helps children develop resilience in challenging situations. Learn the simple two-minute technique that transformed a tearful camp crisis and discover why becoming a "people builder" creates confidence in our children that lasts far beyond any temporary fix.

Quote of the Episode: "You don't have to solve; you just have to support. And when the kids can feel it and then you give them an opportunity to find a way forward, they will find it. The answers are deep inside themselves."

Key Points:

• Children need validation and understanding before they can move forward from emotional distress
• Being a "people builder" creates confidence and resilience in children
• Emotion coaching involves recognizing feelings, naming them, and allowing them to be expressed
• Support without immediately trying to solve problems helps children develop self-regulation
• Hearing supportive voices can be enough to help children find their own solutions
• With consistent emotional coaching, children develop faster regulation responses
• Finding the right supportive environments (like tutoring) can transform a child's confidence
• Children often have the answers within themselves when given space to find them
• Overcoming challenges builds resilience and confidence
• Small interactions with supportive people can have profound effects on children's wellbeing

Resources Mentioned:

• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman [affiliate link]
• Edgar Guest's poem "A Builder or a Wrecker"
• Emotion coaching methodology

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Practice emotion coaching by naming your child's feelings when they're upset
2. Allow emotions to "breathe" before trying to find solutions
3. Ask open questions like "What do you think would be best?" after validating feelings
4. Look for "people builders" in your child's life (teachers, tutors, friends)
5. Consciously choose to be a "builder" rather than a "wrecker" in your interactions
6. When your child calls in distress, focus first on connection before correction
7. Give children space to find their own solutions after feeling supported
8. Recognise that overcoming challenges builds resilience, even when painful at the time

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When school photos become weapons through AI manipulation, how do we protect our children? From understanding why teenage boys might engage in this behaviour to knowing exactly what to do if your child is involved, learn practical steps for prevention and response. Plus, discover why biology isn't destiny and how to build empathy in an increasingly digital world.

Quote of the Episode: "The collective IQ of boys when they're in a group is significantly lower than the individual IQ of each boy when they're on their own."

Key Insights:

• AI technology creates new forms of harassment
• Biological factors influence teen boy behaviour
• Group dynamics affect decision-making
• Empathy levels change during puberty
• Traditional photo safety advice may not be enough
• Quick response is crucial if incidents occur
• Professional help may be needed
• Recovery pathways must be available

Resources Mentioned:

• eSafety Commissioner website
• Law enforcement guidelines
• School reporting procedures
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. If Your Child is a Victim:

• Document everything
• Report to authorities
• Seek professional support

• Take immediate action
• Remove technology access
• Cooperate with authorities
• Seek professional help
• Create accountability pathway

• Have open discussions about AI risks
• Review digital safety practices
• Build empathy despite biological challenges
• Maintain open communication channels

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/victoria-police-investigate-allegations-gladstone-park-secondary-college-students-targeted-in-deepfake-online-pictures/news-story/3aae004a2d0ce532d35a16d5378e21bf

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we change environments to support neurodivergent children, everyone benefits. In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Adam Guastella from Sydney Children's Hospital, discover why viewing autism as a 'disorder' might be missing the point, and learn how the right support systems can transform outcomes. Plus, understand why insufficient support leads to troubling patterns of bullying and underachievement.

Quote of the Episode: "When people have changed environments to be more inclusive to support children with autism and other neurodevelopmental needs, those environments are really good for everyone."

Key Insights:

• Focus should be on changing environments, not just children.

• Inclusive environments benefit all children.

• Support needs are both environmental and individual.

• Better support leads to better educational outcomes.

• Lack of support correlates with higher bullying rates.

• Academic underachievement often relates to poor support.

• Professional collaboration improves outcomes.

• Early intervention and support are crucial.

Resources Mentioned:

• Sydney Children's Hospital at Westmead

• Brain and Mind Centre, University of Sydney

• Self-Determination Theory research

• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Focus on environmental adaptations that support learning.

2. Build collaborative relationships with support services.

3. Ensure appropriate support systems are in place early.

4. Look for ways to create inclusive spaces that benefit everyone.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Should pocket money be linked to chores? What about paying for good grades? From savings percentages to spending rules, discover why traditional pocket money wisdom might be wrong, and learn a value-based approach that actually works. Plus, find out why regular money conversations matter more than any system you choose.

Quote of the Episode: "Money is just a store of value, and the conversation really should move away from money to how am I adding value in the world?"

Key Insights:

• Pocket money should be independent of chores.
• Paying for grades can decrease intrinsic motivation.
• The Three S's: Spend, Save, Support.
• Financial conversations matter more than systems.
• Value creation should precede money focus.
• Forced savings can build positive habits.
• Regular money discussions enhance financial literacy
• Stretch goals encourage saving behaviour

Resources Mentioned:

• The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel [affiliate link]
• Happy Families newsletter
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Separate pocket money from household responsibilities.
2. Implement the Three S's system (Spend, Save, Support).
3. Have regular conversations about money and value creation.
4. Set achievable saving goals with matching incentives.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From classic works to cutting-edge neuroscience, discover the books that have shaped modern parenting wisdom. Join Dr Justin Coulson as he shares his carefully curated list of game-changing parenting books, including why each one matters and how they can transform your family life. Plus, hear Kylie's surprising take on which books might matter most of all.

Quote of the Episode: "When I think about the kind of parent that I aspire to be, those two books have had more influence in my life than all the other books combined."

Key Insights:

• Great parenting often comes from continuous learning
• Different books serve different parenting stages and challenges
• Some classics remain relevant despite their age
• Picture books can be as influential as academic texts
• Cultural perspectives offer valuable parenting insights
• Understanding child development enhances parenting approach
• Expert knowledge needs to be balanced with practical application
• Scientific understanding of child development continues to evolve

Resources Mentioned: (NB. These are affiliate links)

• Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott
• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
• The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour
• Act Natural by Jennifer Traig
• Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff
• The Myth of the Spoiled Child by Alfie Kohn
• Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
• The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
• The Teenage Brain by Frances Jensen
• I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maureen Adamek
• Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Start with one book that addresses your current parenting challenge
2. Balance academic texts with accessible, practical guides
3. Consider including children's books in your parenting resource library
4. Make regular time for parenting education through reading

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How much sleep do kids really need? From caffeine myths to screen time truths, sleep specialist Dr Moyra Vandeleur from Royal Children's Hospital unpacks the latest research on children's sleep. Learn why teens naturally stay up late, whether weekend sleep-ins matter, and what the science really says about warm milk before bed.

Quote of the Episode: "Sleep, diet and exercise are the three pillars of health - and sleep has only recently been recognized as equally important."

Key Insights:

• Recommended sleep varies by age:
• Toddlers (1-3): 12-14 hours
• Preschoolers (3-6): 10-12 hours
• Primary school (5-12): 10-11 hours
• Teenagers (13-18): 8-10 hours
• Individual sleep needs vary
• Quality, quantity and pattern all matter
• Teen biology naturally shifts sleep timing later
• Caffeine affects sleep for about six hours
• Regular exercise improves sleep quality
• Screen time before bed doubles sleep difficulties
• Snoring more than three nights weekly needs medical attention

Resources Mentioned:

• Royal Children's Hospital National Child Health Poll
• Sleep guidelines
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create Screen-Free Wind Down

• No screens one hour before bed
• Establish relaxing routines
• Keep consistent bedtimes

• Limit caffeine, especially after lunch
• Watch for hidden caffeine sources
• Exercise earlier in the day

• Child seems tired despite adequate sleep
• Regular snoring occurs
• Sleep problems persist despite good habits

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From a ten-year-old willingly trying alfalfa sprouts to teenagers singing while doing dishes, discover how indirect approaches can transform family challenges. Learn why leaving a book about gut bacteria lying around might work better than years of mealtime battles, and how a simple word game can turn kitchen clean-up into family fun.

Quote of the Episode: "Force creates resistance. When you try to make kids eat, as we have for so many years... but instead, she reads it in a book and she's willing to give it a crack because she feels like she's in the driver's seat."

Key Insights:

• Indirect approaches often work better than direct instruction
• Strategic placement of resources can spark interest
• Games can make chores disappear into the background
• Family participation makes tasks more enjoyable
• Children teach themselves when given the right resources
• Time and patience often yield better results than pressure
• Fun and connection matter more than task completion
• Siblings can create effective solutions

Resources Mentioned:

• The Friends You Don't Know You Have by Laney and Jordan Oldfield
• Word Association game for family chores
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. For Picky Eaters

• Place helpful resources where children will find them
• Allow self-directed discovery
• Celebrate willing experimentation

• Create games that involve everyone
• Focus on fun rather than task completion
• Use music and creativity to engage participation

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when researchers analyze 238 studies spanning 51 years and 38 countries? They discover one consistent truth: autonomy support leads to thriving kids, while psychological control leads to struggling ones. Learn why guilt, shame and coercion damage child wellbeing, and discover the three practical steps to becoming a more supportive parent. Plus, understand why this holds true across all cultures and age groups.

Quote of the Episode: "If you want to be a great parent, and there was one variable that mattered more than anything else, this is it. It's about autonomy support."

Key Insights:

• Meta-analysis covered 238 studies across 51 years
• Research included 126,000 participants from 38 countries
• Results consistent across cultures and age groups
• Psychological control leads to maladaptive perfectionism
• Control linked to depression 12 months later
• Reducing control improves academic performance
• Findings apply from toddlers through adolescence
• Three types of control: autonomy support, psychological control, and behavioral control

Resources Mentioned:

• Emma Bradshaw's meta-analysis study
• The Parenting Revolution book
• University of Sydney research
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Explore: Take your child's perspective and understand their viewpoint
2. Explain: Provide clear rationales for rules and limits
3. Empower: Work together to develop frameworks and boundaries

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research from the National Child Health Poll reveals surprising statistics about children's sleep, including why 42% of kids have sleep problems and why parents' beliefs about teen sleep might be wrong. Learn why screen time isn't actually helping kids wind down, how caffeine affects sleep patterns, and discover the biology behind why teenagers really do struggle to wake up early.

Quote of the Episode: "While we're exhausted at 8:30, teenagers are still good to go at 9:00, 9:30 - that's when melatonin starts to kick in."

Key Insights:

• 42% of children have sleep pattern problems
• 47% of parents wrongly believe screens help wind down
• Caffeine after lunch doubles sleep difficulties
• Teen biology affects sleep timing
• Melatonin production differs between teens and adults
• Regular sleep patterns matter more than total hours
• Screen use disrupts natural sleep cycles
• Sleep routines remain important for all ages

Resources Mentioned:

• National Child Health Poll
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. No Screens Before Bed

• Implement one-hour screen-free period
• Remove devices from bedrooms

• Consistent bedtime
• Regular wake time
• Cool, dark, quiet bedroom

• Age-appropriate wind-down activities
• Consistent patterns
• Calming environment

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child begging for makeup while you're desperately trying to preserve their innocence? From church on Sundays to everyday requests, the makeup debate touches deep parental fears about growing up too fast. Discover why parents really resist early makeup use, and learn a practical three-step approach to handling this delicate issue. Plus, hear how six daughters taught these parents that sometimes the biggest parenting battles aren't worth fighting after all.

Quote of the Episode: "Making a big deal about makeup is perhaps a bit unnecessary - we've learned not to sweat the small stuff."

Key Insights:

• Most parental concerns about makeup stem from fears about premature maturity
• Research shows resistance often comes from conservative backgrounds
• Parents worry about beauty standards and self-worth connections
• The more parents resist, the more appealing makeup becomes
• Force creates resistance in these situations
• Family rules evolve with experience and understanding
• The Three E's approach works well for makeup discussions
• Context and motivation matter more than specific age limits

Resources Mentioned:

• Beauty Sick by Renée Engeln [affiliate link]
• Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey [affiliate link]
• Miss Connection Summit
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Explore: Get curious about your child's real motivation
2. Explain: Share your values and concerns openly
3. Empower: Work together on solutions that respect both perspectives

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever cringed at a recording of your own voice? Imagine watching your daily parenting played back on video. In this raw and honest episode, Dr Justin Coulson shares how a humbling surfing experience revealed the game-changing power of self-awareness in parenting. Discover why 95% of parents think they're self-aware (but only 10-15% actually are), and learn the three practical steps to close your own self-awareness gap. Warning: might involve some uncomfortable truths!

Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes our most uncomfortable moments of self-awareness become our greatest opportunities for transformation."

Key Insights:

• Only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, despite 95% thinking they are
• Self-aware parents show improved emotional awareness of themselves and their children
• Video feedback leads to significant improvements in parenting behaviours
• Small, focused improvements are more effective than trying to fix everything at once
• Regular feedback and reflection are crucial for growth
• Self-awareness impacts relationship quality with children
• The gap between perceived and actual parenting skills often requires objective feedback
• Incremental improvements lead to sustainable change

Resources Mentioned:

• Tasha Eurich's research on self-awareness
• Research on video feedback in parenting
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create Your Own "Surf Video Moment"

• Record interactions with children
• Ask for specific feedback from family members
• Be prepared for initial discomfort

• Seek specific, focused feedback daily
• Make improvements manageable
• Focus on one area at a time

• Spend 5 minutes journaling each evening
• Note one positive interaction and one area for improvement
• Track progress over time

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance.

Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning."

Key Insights:

• Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks.
• Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring.
• Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising.
• Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually.
• Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction.
• Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels.
• Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles.
• Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed.

Resources Mentioned:

• Fair Play cards system
• Goldie app for managing school communications
• University of Melbourne research
• Misperceived podcast
• Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram)

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage.
2. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications.
3. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens.
4. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child walks into the room, what do they see? Drawing from Toni Morrison's profound insight and an Olympic coach's wisdom about competition, discover how subtle expressions shape our children's sense of worth and why measuring against our own progress matters more than beating others. Plus, learn why even well-intentioned critical looks might be sending the wrong message.

Quote of the Episode: "When they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that... That is how you learn what your value is."

Key Insights:

• Children read facial expressions more than words.

• Good intentions can still show as criticism.

• Competition should focus on personal improvement.

• Our reactions shape children's sense of worth.

• Joy should be visible, not just felt.

• Even caring criticism can appear negative.

• Personal bests matter more than winning.

• Face-to-face interactions shape self-worth.

Resources Mentioned:

• Frank Dick's coaching philosophy

• Toni Morrison on the Oprah Show

• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Notice your facial expression when children enter the room..

2. Focus on personal growth rather than competitive outcomes.

3. Show joy intentionally in daily interactions

4. Make delight visible when greeting children.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A mum's classroom confrontation made headlines, but the full story reveals a more complex reality about school bullying. Learn why traditional approaches often fail, what evidence you need to collect, and when removing your child might be the best option. Plus, discover why building adult relationships could matter more than peer connections.

Quote of the Episode:

"Fundamentally our job is to keep our kids safe. When we can't control others' behaviour, sometimes removing our children is the only option."

Key Insights:

• High emotions lead to poor decision-making.
• Evidence collection is crucial for intervention.
• Restorative practice isn't always effective. 
• Working within the system brings better results.
• Adult mentoring may be more valuable than peer relationships.
• System escalation requires documented evidence.
• Physical and psychological safety must be priorities.
• Traditional age-based socialisation may need rethinking.

Resources Mentioned:

• eSafety Commissioner website
• Department of Education
• Police reporting systems
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Document Everything

• Keep interaction records
• Save digital evidence
• Track all school communications

2.  Work Within the System

• Follow proper channels
• Escalate systematically
• Maintain evidence trails

3. Consider Safety Options

• Evaluate psychological safety
• Consider environment changes
• Build adult support networks

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Does helping around the house lead to a better love life? In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Leah Ruppanner, we explore the surprising truth about mental load duplication in relationships and why keeping score might be missing the point. Plus, discover why men who share the mental load don't just get 'lucky' - they get better sleep, health, and life satisfaction too.

Quote of the Episode: "The load hasn't shifted, it is still as heavy as it was, but now we're shouldering it together."

Key Insights:

• Both partners often carry duplicate worries and mental load
• Men frequently carry heavy but unspoken burdens
• Task division isn't about transactions but teamwork
• Mental load reduction isn't about attraction but creating space for connection
• Daily vs episodic tasks affect how couples share responsibilities
• Working as a team matters more than keeping score
• Sharing mental load benefits both partners' wellbeing
• Open communication about burdens strengthens relationships

Resources Mentioned:

• Professor Leah Ruppanner, University of Melbourne
• Research on mental load and marital satisfaction
• Happy Families
• Full interview airing Saturday

Action Steps for Couples:

1. Acknowledge both partners' mental burdens without score-keeping
2. Share loads together rather than carrying them individually
3. Focus on team approaches rather than transactional divisions
4. Create space for connection by sharing mental and physical tasks

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When everything's a battle with your three-year-old, understanding the developmental realities can transform your approach. Learn why emotional regulation, theory of mind, and language development explain those challenging behaviours, and discover three practical solutions that actually work. Plus, find out why your child might be an angel at daycare but struggle at home - and why that's actually a good sign.

Quote of the Episode: "We expect way too much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of them physically."

Key Insights:

• Emotional regulation begins developing at age 3-4
• Theory of Mind develops around ages 4.5-5.5
• Language limitations affect behaviour management
• Different contexts (home vs daycare) create different behaviours
• Connection matters more than correction
• Rushing and time pressure escalate emotions
• The importance of autonomy for toddler cooperation
• Fun can transform routine tasks

Resources Mentioned:

• Little People, Big Feelings [webinar]
• The Parenting Revolution [book]
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Slow Down

• Create margin in routines
• Reduce rushing
• Maintain calm

• Focus on feeling seen, heard, and valued
• Prioritize emotional availability
• Engage in their activities

• Add playful elements to routine tasks
• Use music and movement
• Transform ordinary moments with simple games

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When kids feel they belong at school, the benefits last up to 10 years into their future. Drawing from groundbreaking Monash University research, discover why school belonging trumps academic success for long-term wellbeing, and learn the two key relationships that can transform your child's school experience. Plus, get practical strategies to help your child build stronger school connections, even if they're struggling to fit in.

Quote of the Episode: "Those children who felt a strong sense of belonging in high school experienced fewer mental health challenges in their 20s."

Key Insights:

• School belonging impacts mental health well into the mid-20s
• Two key factors: one supportive adult and one friend at school
• Strong school belonging leads to better engagement and motivation
• Social connections act as a resource that helps accumulate more positive relationships
• Belonging increases resilience and ability to cope with stress
• Effects persist even when controlling for academic performance
• Parent involvement can significantly impact school belonging
• The impact goes beyond immediate happiness to long-term wellbeing

Resources Mentioned:

• Monash University research study
• Associate Professor Kellyanne Allen's work
• US research on school belonging
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Partner with the School

• Open communication with teachers
• Advocate through school counsellors
• Support school initiatives and volunteer when possible

• Provide emotional support
• Help develop social skills
• Create opportunities for friendship building

• Encourage exploration of passions
• Celebrate strengths
• Support age-appropriate autonomy

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Use HAPPY at g-mee.com for a $40 discount on G-Mee Connect Pro (down from $189 to $149).

A former Channel 9 tech commentator reveals why he abandoned his media career to create a safer phone for kids after witnessing the devastating effects of unrestricted device access. In this eye-opening conversation, Charlie Brown shares shocking insider stories about social media dangers and offers hope to parents navigating the digital landscape. If you've ever worried about giving your child a phone, this episode could change everything.

Quote of the Episode: "Do not ever let them have unfettered access to the internet on any device at all, ever." - Charlie Brown

Key Points:

• The age of first phone adoption is getting younger while devices are becoming more powerful and potentially dangerous.

• Most parental controls have significant limitations or can be circumvented.

• Social media platforms deliberately make frequent changes to stay ahead of parental understanding.

• The impact of current tech decisions on children won't be fully understood for 5-10 years.

• Parents need to work collaboratively with children rather than taking an adversarial approach.

• Device-free car rides create opportunities for meaningful family conversation.

• The dangers of TikTok extend beyond individual privacy to potential sociopolitical manipulation.

Resources Mentioned:

• G-mee Phones

• Spriggy (banking app)

• Google Family Link

• Apple Screen Time

• TikTok

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Implement some form of parental controls on all devices.

2. Create tech-free zones and times (like car rides) for family connection.

3. Have regular conversations with children about their digital experiences.

4. Build trust so children feel safe discussing online challenges.

5. Consider alternatives to standard smartphones for younger children.

6. Remove unfettered internet access from children's devices.

7. Model healthy tech habits by reducing your own screen time.

8. Work collaboratively with children rather than taking a purely restrictive approach.

Use HAPPY at g-mee.com for a $40 discount on G-Mee Connect Pro (down from $189 to $149).

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pink lunch boxes, parenting confessions, and some truly terrible (but hilarious) kid jokes—this episode has it all! Justin shares a surprising "mea culpa" about a parenting stance he might have been too firm on, while Kylie opens up about their daughter's tough transition back to school and how they’re helping her navigate the overwhelm. Plus, a heartfelt listener shoutout and a laugh-out-loud joke about ADHD. Tune in for relatable parenting moments, thoughtful insights, and a few good giggles!

Key Insights:

• Teen overwhelm requires patient, curious exploration
• Using movies like Inside Out 2 can help explain emotions
• Competition's impact depends on context and age
• Sometimes feeling competent matters more than winning
• Parents can and should revise their positions
• The way we process experiences matters more than the experiences themselves
• School transitions create multiple layers of challenge
• Emotion coaching requires timing and patience

Quote of the Episode: "It's not about doing therapy, it's just about helping her to feel seen, heard, and valued so that you can move to a productive resolution."

Resources Mentioned:

• Inside Out 2 movie
• 9 Ways to a Resilient Child book
• 9 Ways to a Resilient Child [The Course]
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Help children identify and understand their emotions before seeking solutions
2. Use relatable metaphors (like movies) to discuss complex feelings
3. Reconsider whether protecting children from competition might limit growth opportunities

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From dinosaur cartilage to gluten-free unicorn tears, the wellness industry has gone off the rails. Drawing from viral content creator Caitlin Murray's (@BigTimeAdulting) hilarious take on modern health advice, we unpack why women's health has become so complicated and offer practical alternatives to the supplement-heavy, social-media-driven wellness culture.

Quote of the Episode: "The best health plan is the one that you can maintain long term."

Key Insights:

• Modern wellness culture creates overwhelming and often contradictory advice
• Social media amplifies health anxiety and pressure
• The wellness industrial complex keeps adding complexity and cost
• Simple, sustainable changes often work better than extreme measures
• There's a difference between purchasing progress and earning it
• Family involvement can make healthy choices more sustainable
• Most health improvements require either time or money investment
• The basics (movement, whole foods, sleep) still matter most

Resources Mentioned:

• BigTimeAdulting (Caitlin Murray) on Instagram
• Australian adult physical activity statistics
• Happy Families

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Focus on sustainable, long-term health habits rather than quick fixes
2. Reduce social media consumption for better mental and physical health
3. Make healthy choices a family activity rather than an individual burden
4. Choose whole foods and regular movement over complicated supplement regimens

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Use HAPPY at g-mee.com for a $40 discount on G-Mee Connect Pro (down from $189 to $149).

Why don’t tech executives let their own children use social media? Can teenagers appreciate strict phone boundaries? If you're fighting screen time battles with your kids, this episode offers hope that your children will eventually thank you for protecting them from unrestricted tech access.

Quote of the Episode: "Nobody ever says, 'That was the best weekend ever, just love that! We should do that more often—stare at our phones and ignore each other.'" - Justin Coulson

Key Points:

• Meta and other tech platforms are "terrified" of proposed legislation restricting youth access.
• Tech executives often ban their own children from using the products they create.
• The shift from play-based to screen-based childhood is rewiring children's brains.
• Building trust and supporting autonomy helps children understand and accept boundaries.
• Regular conversations about technology use are essential for family relationships.
• Social media platforms prioritise engagement over user wellbeing.
• Children eventually recognise and appreciate parents' protective boundaries.

Resources Mentioned:

• Unplug Childhood
• Jonathan Haidt's research on "the great rewiring"
• Need-supportive parenting approach

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Include children in technology decision-making processes.
2. Have regular conversations about tech use rather than one-time discussions.
3. Build trust while maintaining appropriate boundaries.
4. Support autonomy within safe limits.
5. Create tech-free family time.
6. Share the reasoning behind tech restrictions.
7. Focus on building real-world connections.
8. Stay informed about social media risks and platform practices.

Use HAPPY at g-mee.com for a $40 discount on G-Mee Connect Pro (down from $189 to $149).

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child is hesitant about sports, the coach wants to help, and you're caught in the middle—what now? Today’s tricky question tackles the complex dynamics of youth sports anxiety from both the coach's and parent's perspective. 

Quote of the Episode: "Your child signed up for it. Your child wants to play the sport. It's their experience, so let them have that experience."

Key Insights:

• Parent involvement can often increase rather than decrease child anxiety.

• Individual acknowledgement by name creates belonging and confidence.

• Reframing anxiety can help children approach challenges differently.

• Trust between parents and coaches is essential for child development.

• The "uphill" moments in sports build character and resilience.

• Minimising children's feelings about anxiety is counterproductive.

• The three E's approach: Explore, Explain, Empower.

Action Steps for Coaches:

1. Minimise parent involvement during practice/training.

2. Get curious about individual children and their concerns.

3. Acknowledge each child by name and build personal connections.

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Trust the coach and step back from direct involvement.

2. Embrace the challenging moments ("love the hills").

3. Validate feelings without minimising them.

4. Use the three E's: Explore, Explain, Empower.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to help your child manage big emotions? Start by understanding what emotional regulation really means. In this episode, we unpack why suppressing emotions isn't always bad, how regulation develops from age three onwards, and why parents might need to work on their own regulation first. Plus, discover three practical strategies that actually work—no more ineffective "just calm down" responses. Whether you're dealing with gaming meltdowns or homework frustrations, these solutions will transform how you handle emotional moments.

Quote of the Episode: "They don't need to be reprimanded. They need to be understanded."

Key Insights:

• Emotional regulation means expressing or suppressing emotions appropriately for the context.

• Self-regulation begins developing at age 3 and stabilises around age 9.

• Parents often struggle with their own regulation while expecting it from their children.

• Better regulation leads to improved academic performance, relationships, and life outcomes.

• Supporting rather than solving builds autonomy, competence, and connection.

• Context matters: hunger, tiredness, and stress all impact regulation ability.

• The ability to process emotions is more important than suppressing them.

• Breaking down overwhelming tasks helps prevent emotional flooding.

Resources Mentioned:

• Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment

• Self-Determination Theory

• HappyFamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Support, Don't Solve: Help children process emotions without fixing everything for them.

2. Offer Hints: Break down overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks.

3. Read the Room: Consider factors like hunger, tiredness, and stress before responding to dysregulation.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research shows that simple parent-led interventions can reduce gaming disorder and smartphone addiction in children by up to 60% in just six weeks. In this episode, clinician and researcher Dr Brad Marshall breaks down exactly what parents can do to help their children develop healthier relationships with technology, backed by groundbreaking new research from Macquarie University.

Key Points:

• About 10% of Australian teens are experiencing problematic screen use and addiction.

• A study of 689 families revealed significant improvements in screen addiction through parent-led interventions.

• 60% of children with gaming disorder showed improvement after 6 weeks.

• 32% of children with smartphone addiction showed improvement after 6 weeks.

• Five key strategies were identified, with WiFi management being among the most effective.

Quote of the Episode: "Parents can have a huge impact on how their kids do stuff online... even without any direct therapeutic intervention."

Key Insights:

• Hardware-level controls are more effective than software-based parental controls.

• Sometimes parents need to implement boundaries before having conversations.

• Simple WiFi management strategies can be more effective than complex behavioural agreements.

• Managing mobile data plans is a crucial but longer-term intervention strategy.

• Parent-only interventions can be highly effective without direct child involvement.

Personal Stories Shared:

• Brad shared his experience testifying before the Senate regarding social media age restrictions.

• Justin shared his perspective on occasionally needing to make executive decisions as a parent despite preferring collaborative approaches.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Tech Diet for Your Child and Teen book

• Mesh router systems for WiFi management

• G-Mee phones (Australian smartphone for kids)

• Brad Marshall's website (The Unplugged Psychologist)

• Macquarie University research study on gaming disorder and smartphone addiction

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Implement home WiFi limits through mesh router systems.

2. Place limits on mobile phone data plans

3. Set clear boundaries around WiFi at bedtime.

4. Consider hardware-level solutions rather than relying on software controls.

5. Start with structural changes (WiFi/data management) before focusing on behavioural agreements.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes the most carefully crafted family schedules fall apart spectacularly - and that's perfectly normal. Today, we dive into what happens when the perfect plan meets reality, complete with school transitions, homeschool meltdowns, and endless interruptions. Plus, discover why investing in your relationship might be the secret weapon for weathering family chaos. This is real parenting, unfiltered and unvarnished.

Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes no matter how well we think we've got everything put together, sometimes it just doesn't work. And it doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It just means that this was a hard week."

Key Insights:

• Even the most meticulously planned schedules can fall apart when school routines change
• Major transitions (like switching from homeschool to traditional school) affect the whole family system
• Fresh starts are valuable opportunities to reset and try again
• Relationship investment between parents strengthens the whole family
• Couples can be completely different yet choose each other daily
• Shared experiences matter more than shared interests
• Regular date nights and new experiences can revitalize family life
• It's normal for plans to need adjustment when reality hits

Resources Mentioned:

• Happy Families Newsletter (with new sections: I'm Reading, I'm Watching, I'm Listening, We're Doing)
• Lonesome Dove series
• Wicked (movie)
• Honestly podcast with Barry Weiss (MAHA episode)
• HappyFamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Accept that perfect plans often need adjustment - it's normal, not failure
2. Schedule regular relationship-building activities with your partner
3. Remember that fresh starts (like Monday mornings) are opportunities to reset

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Less is more when it comes to kids' parties. We tackle the thorny issue of birthday party politics in the modern age, from managing invite lists to handling the heartache when your child misses out. Discover why Gen Alpha parties have become more complicated than ever, and learn practical strategies for both hosting and handling party-related disappointments. Plus, find out why McDonald's parties in railway carriages aren't always the answer (just ask Justin!).

Quote of the Episode: "Being invited to a birthday party is a privilege, and we should approach it with sensitivity because not everybody gets an invite."

Key Insights:

• Smaller parties often create less social tension than large-scale events
• Modern party politics are particularly challenging for Gen Alpha children
• The more people invited, the more others expect to be included
• Classroom distribution of invitations can create unnecessary drama
• Digital invitations and teacher assistance can help maintain discretion
• When hosting, clear communication about party size helps manage expectations
• Missing out on parties can be a valuable teaching moment for empathy
• One-on-one celebrations can be a meaningful alternative to large parties

Resources Mentioned:

• Mel Robbins' book "Let Them"
• happyfamilies.com.au
• Class WhatsApp groups for party planning

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Keep parties smaller and more intimate to reduce social pressure
2. Use discrete methods for invitation distribution (through teachers, digital invites, or direct to parents)
3. When your child isn't invited, focus on teaching resilience and empathy
4. Consider creating special one-on-one celebrations as alternatives to large parties

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parents have been fighting the wrong battle in the screen time wars—and the most effective solution isn't about apps, contracts, or consequences at all. In this episode, Dr. Brad Marshall shares the surprisingly simple hardware-level intervention that reduced gaming disorder by 60% in just six weeks.

Key Points:

• Managing home WiFi with set limits proved most effective in reducing screen addiction.
• Phone-level controls are second most effective but can be circumvented.
• Bedtime WiFi boundaries show significant impact.
• Traditional methods like contracts and consequences showed less effectiveness.
• Hardware-level solutions outperform software controls.

Quote of the Episode: "What fuels all of these devices and their persuasive design and their addictive nature and their dopamine is the WiFi. We know that for a fact."

Key Insights:

• Start with the strictest parameters when first giving devices.
• Focus on infrastructure control rather than behaviour management.
• Device-specific controls allow age-appropriate flexibility.
• Hardware solutions (like mesh routers) are more effective than software controls.
• Regular parent-child conversations about limits remain important.

Resources Mentioned:

• G-mee Phones
• Mesh router systems
• Dr. Brad Marshall's research paper
• The Unplugged Psychologist website
• Incharge boxes for device storage

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Install a mesh router system for device-specific WiFi control.
2. Set strict initial parameters when introducing new devices.
3. Implement clear bedtime WiFi boundaries.
4. Place limits on mobile data plans.
5. Have regular conversations about screen time limits.
6. Consider hardware solutions like G-Mee phones for younger children.
7. Create device-free zones and times in the home.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Force creates resistance—especially with teenagers. In this essential episode, we reveal why your teen's silence might actually be normal and share proven strategies to rebuild connection without pushing them away. From the surprising effectiveness of parallel activities to the power of perfect timing, you'll discover how to create spaces where real conversations can naturally emerge. Plus, learn why traditional advice about "getting them to open up" might be exactly what's keeping them closed off.

Quote of the Episode: "People say parenting is the hardest job in the world. It's not. Growing up is." - From Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Key Insights:

• By age 13, parents have completed 75-80% of their hands-on parenting.

• Teen emotional overwhelm can lead to communication shutdown.

• Side-by-side activities often work better than face-to-face conversations.

• Written communication can be an effective alternative for some teens.

• High emotions equal low intelligence—timing matters for important conversations.

• Developmental changes naturally shift influence from parents to peers.

• The importance of understanding vs. reprimanding when teens push back

Resources Mentioned:

• "Miss Connection," a book about raising teenage girls

• Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

• Charles Duhigg interview (Episode 1160, January 25)

• HappyFamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create opportunities for parallel activities instead of forcing direct conversations.

2. Choose timing carefully—car rides, bedtime, or walks often work best.

3. Consider alternative communication methods (like journaling) if verbal communication is difficult.

4. Use deeper questions that go beyond "How was your day?" (e.g., "What are you looking forward to?" or "Who did you help today?")

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Your Child is Bullied: The Five Steps That Could Save Your Child

With Australian students among the most bullied in the world and recent tragedies highlighting the devastating consequences, discover the research-backed five-step response plan that empowers children and gives parents practical tools to address bullying before it escalates.

Key Points:

• 70% of Australian kids aged 12-13 experience bullying

• Australia leads Western nations in bullying incidents

• Clear definition of what constitutes actual bullying

• Status and power dynamics drive bullying behaviour.

• Five-step response plan for parents

Quote of the Episode: "Trauma is not a result of the events that happen to you. It's a result of how you process those events."

Key Insights:

• Difference between conflict and true bullying

• Four types of bullying (physical, verbal, social, cyber)

• High-status kids are more likely to bully than low-status

• Importance of documentation and proper reporting

• Role of mindset in managing bullying impact

Resources Mentioned:

• Kids Helpline

• Parent Line

• Lifeline (13 11 14)

• Beyond Blue

• Professor Michael Bernard's research

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Listen and Validate:

   • Believe your child's experience

   • Show emotional support

   • Avoid dismissing their feelings

   • Make time to really hear them

2. Document Everything:

   • Keep written records

   • Take screenshots

   • Save evidence appropriately

   • Note dates and details

3. Involve Authorities:

   • Report to school/organisation

   • Work collaboratively with staff

   • Follow up on actions taken

   • Maintain communication

4. Build Coping Skills:

   • Develop positive mindset strategies

   • Practice perspective-taking

   • Strengthen self-worth

   • Minimise social media exposure

5. Seek Professional Help:

   • Recognise when expert help is needed

   • Access support services

   • Consider counselling options

   • Use available helplines

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want better bedtime routines? Start with wake-up time. In this eye-opening episode, we reveal why your morning routine is the secret weapon for achieving peaceful nights. Backed by fascinating neuroscience from Stanford's Andrew Huberman and real-world success stories, you'll discover how morning sunlight triggers a cascade of sleep-friendly hormones that can transform your family's entire day-night cycle. Plus, learn why letting your teens sleep in might actually be sabotaging their sleep schedule and how early risers show up to 23% better performance in morning classes.

Quote of the Episode: "Exposure to morning sunlight triggers a cascade of hormones that regulate the entire day-night cycle."

Key Insights:

• Your wake-up time sets your body's internal stopwatch for the entire day
• Teenagers naturally produce melatonin later than adults but still need 9-10 hours of sleep
• Weekend sleep-ins create a "mini jet-lag" effect that makes Monday mornings harder
• Morning sunlight exposure activates melanopsin-containing retinal cells that signal the brain's master clock
• Students with consistent wake times show up to 23% better performance on morning cognitive tests
• The brain consolidates learning during sleep, making regular sleep patterns crucial for academic success
• Modelling early rising as parents can naturally influence children to adopt better sleep habits

Resources Mentioned:

• Andrew Huberman Podcast
• Stanford University research on circadian rhythms
• HappyFamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Establish a consistent wake-up time for the whole family
2. Get outside for morning sunlight exposure immediately after waking
3. Minimise screen time in the evening hours and keep bedtime consistent, even on weekends

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When the afternoon chaos of activities, homework, and commitments leaves everyone exhausted and frustrated, it's not your organisational skills that need work—it's your approach. Justin and Kylie reveal their game-changing strategy for transforming family schedules from overwhelming to manageable, including the one question that changes everything: 

"Does the schedule serve you, or do you serve the schedule?"

Key Points:

• Why traditional scheduling often fails families

• The importance of regular family meetings

• How to experiment with different routines

• When and why to scale back activities

• The value of involving children in schedule decisions

Quote of the Episode: "Does the schedule serve you, or do you serve the schedule?" - Justin Coulson

Key Insights:

• Life is a series of experiments

• Children often recognise when they're overcommitted

• Family meetings give everyone a voice

• Routines need regular adjustment

• The best schedule is unique to each family

Resources Mentioned:

• "Rethinking" by Adam Grant

• "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown

• happyfamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Schedule a family meeting

2. List all current commitments

3. Experiment with different routines

4. Check in regularly about what's working

5. Be willing to make changes when needed

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forget sticker charts and pocket money—the key to getting kids to help around the house isn't about rewards or punishments. Discover why making contribution fun transforms resistance into enthusiasm, and learn the simple system that's getting kids excited about helping at home.

Key Points:

• Traditional chore charts often create resistance

• Linking chores to pocket money typically backfires

• Making contribution fun transforms participation

• Togetherness is the key to successful engagement

• Timing and clear endpoints matter 

Quote of the Episode: "Our kids don't want to feel like our slaves... but they do need to contribute and participate in making the house function and work."

Key Insights:

• People tend to overestimate their own contributions while underestimating others'

• Forced contribution creates resistance

• Music dramatically changes the experience of helping

• Clear time limits increase participation

• Autonomy in choosing how to contribute matters

Resources Mentioned:

• 10-minute tidy system

• Word Association music game

• Mission Impossible challenge concept

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Implement the 10-Minute Tidy:

• Choose three standard-length songs

• Get everyone involved simultaneously

• Honor the time limit strictly

• Make it a daily ritual

• Create cleaning playlists

• Play word association games

• Keep it upbeat and fun

• Focus on togetherness

• Replace "chores" with "contribution"

• Ask how they'd like to help

• Give choices and autonomy

• Prioritise doing things together

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research reveals that the "convenient" pre-packaged school lunches are actually the most expensive option - and the least healthy. Discover the simple menu system that saves money, improves nutrition, and gets kids excited about their school lunches.

Key Points:

• 90% of Australian kids take packed lunches to school

• Average lunch box costs $4.50

• Pre-packaged foods cost more than fresh options

• 40% of kids' lunches are filled with pricier, less healthy options

• Menu system eliminates daily decision fatigue

Quote of the Episode: "Our family has single-handedly kept a wheat farmer's business going for the last 20 plus years with all those lunches, that probably half of which ended up in the bin."

Key Insights:

• Creating a menu system reduces waste and costs

• Getting kids involved increases likelihood of eating

• Laminated menus with checkboxes make planning easy

• Budget constraints can be framed as opportunity for change

• Advanced planning eliminates morning stress

Resources Mentioned:

• Flinders University and University of Newcastle research (2024)

• Hotel/motel breakfast menu system concept

• AI tools for menu planning (ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini)

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create Your Menu System:

• Hold a family meeting to discuss food preferences

• List all acceptable fruits, vegetables, and sandwich fillings

• Create categories (fruits, snacks, main items)

• Laminate the menu for reuse

• Use checkboxes for daily selections

• Plan selections the night before

• Mark unavailable items

• Shop according to menu needs

• Prep ingredients in advance

• Involve kids in preparation

• Focus on fresh ingredients over packaged

• Allow one sweet item per lunch

• Buy in bulk when possible

• Prep and freeze items ahead

• Monitor what actually gets eaten

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The School Morning Hack That Changes Everything: A Slice of Advice on Getting out the Door Stress Free

The secret to peaceful school mornings isn't what you do in the morning at all. Discover the simple evening ritual that transforms chaotic school mornings into manageable moments of connection, and why this one change makes all the difference.

Key Points:

• The critical importance of evening preparation

• Why decision-making is the biggest morning time-waster

• How to implement the "hotel menu" system for meals

• The value of creating margin in your morning

• Why rushing signals the wrong message to children

Quote of the Episode: "Love is spelled T-I-M-E, but if that's how you spell love, what does 'hurry up' spell to a child?"

Key Insights:

• Morning chaos often stems from too many decisions being made in the moment

• The hotel continental breakfast menu system eliminates morning food decisions

• Creating margin allows for meaningful connection and reduces anxiety

• Evening preparation includes parent preparation, not just child preparation

• Positive emotions broaden thinking and build resources (Fredrickson's theory)

Resources Mentioned:

• Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build Theory

• Continental breakfast menu system

• Mission Impossible gamification example

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Evening Preparation:

• Lay out complete uniform (every piece)

• Pack school bag including special items (library books, homework)

• Create next day's breakfast and lunch menu

• Stock kitchen with necessary ingredients

• Plan your own morning routine

• Implement a lunch menu system

• Pre-prepare bulk items for freezing

• Create breakfast choice cards

• Set up designated spots for uniforms and bags

• Wake up early enough to have margin

• Focus on connection over rushing

• Allow time for potential anxiety or resistance

• Make room for small moments of joy

• Keep decisions to a minimum

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin interviews Pulitzer Prize winner Charles Duhigg about his groundbreaking book "Super Communicators." Discover the science behind meaningful family conversations and learn practical strategies to transform how you connect with your children and partner.

Key Points:

• Understanding the three types of conversations: practical, emotional, and social
• Why fixing problems isn't always the answer
• How our brains sync during meaningful conversations
• The power of deep questions versus shallow ones
• Why family interruptions might be healthy

Quote of the Episode: "We tend to remember the conversations that are connection, as opposed to just information exchange." - Charles Duhigg

Key Insights:

• The importance of matching conversation types (practical vs. emotional)
• How to transform common questions into deeper connections
• The value of perspective getting over perspective taking
• Why acknowledging awkwardness helps difficult conversations

Best Questions Shared:

• "What was the most surprising thing that happened today?"
• "What do you admire about [friend's name]?"
• "How do you feel about [upcoming event]?" rather than "Are you ready?"

Resources Mentioned:

• "Super Communicators" by Charles Duhigg
• Harvard Study of Adult Development
• Research on neural entrainment and conversation

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Ask what type of conversation your child wants to have
2. Practice transforming shallow questions into deep ones
3. Allow for healthy interruptions in family discussions
4. Focus on connection over correction

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One-on-one time transforms parent-child relationships, but finding that time can seem impossible. Discover the revolutionary monthly date system that's helping parents create deeper connections with each child—and why being truly present matters more than what you actually do together.

Key Points:

• Monthly one-on-one dates based on birth date
• Importance of intentional planning vs spontaneous moments
• Value of side-by-side conversations
• Impact of being fully present vs autopilot parenting
• How structured time leads to deeper conversations

Quote of the Episode: "The definition of love is bearing witness to one another's lives."

Key Insights:

• Advance planning makes experiences more meaningful
• Side-by-side activities encourage natural conversation
• Removing distractions deepens connection
• Multiple possible futures reduce anxiety about paths
• Intentional time creates space for vulnerable conversations

Resources Mentioned:

• Laura King's research on "best possible future self"
• Monthly birthday date system concept
• Broaden perspectives on career/life paths
• Calendar blocking for intentional connection

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Schedule Monthly Dates:

• Mark each child's birth date on calendar
• Plan activities in advance
• Make them non-negotiable appointments
• Customise for each child's interests

• Remove distractions (phones, etc.)
• Choose side-by-side activities
• Allow natural conversation flow
• Make it special but not elaborate

• Practice active listening
• Avoid problem-solving mode
• Focus on connection over correction
• Create space for deeper sharing

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why Your Kids Should Risk Breaking Their Arm Today

Discover why letting your kids take physical risks - even ones that could land them in the doctor's office - might be exactly what they need for healthy development.

Key Points:

• Physical challenges help children develop resilience
• Many schools have removed risky play equipment like monkey bars
• Stanford research shows parent reactions shape children's mindsets
• Developmentally appropriate risk is essential for growth
• Modern "safetyism" may be harming children's development

Quote of the Episode: "When we treat all adversity as inherently negative, we do a tremendous disservice to our children and their ability to develop adaptive coping mechanisms."

Key Insights:

• Babies look to parents' facial expressions to gauge danger
• Physical challenges often lead to better academic and social outcomes
• The difference between harmful trauma and beneficial stress
• How "safetyism" creates more fearful children
• The importance of scaffolding risk appropriately

Resources Mentioned:

• Stanford University research on parental mindset
• Carol Dweck's growth mindset work
• "The Coddling of the American Mind" by Jonathan Haidt
• Biosphere 2 experiment
• Various physical activities mentioned (bouldering, surfing, ice skating)

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Frame failures as opportunities for growth:

• Acknowledge pain/difficulty
• Ask "How would you do it differently next time?"
• Look for learning moments

2. Create supportive environments for risk-taking:

• Stay calm when children fall/fail
• Provide appropriate safety measures
• Be present but not hovering

3. Allow developmentally appropriate challenges:

• Start small and build up
• Match activities to age/ability
• Provide necessary equipment/support
• Consider activities like climbing, skating, or surfing when ready

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Understanding the right type of conversation can transform family communication and deepen connections with our children. Justin and Kylie explore insights from Pulitzer Prize winner Charles Duhigg's book "Super Communicators".

Key Points:

• Understanding the three types of conversations: practical, emotional, and social
• Why fixing problems isn't always what our children need
• How to identify which conversation your child wants to have
• The importance of asking "Why am I talking?" (WAIT)
• When connection matters more than correction

Quote of the Episode: "We tend to remember the conversations that are connection as opposed to just information exchange." - Charles Duhigg

Key Insights:

• Most memorable conversations are ones where children do the talking
• Parents often default to "fix-it" mode when children need emotional support
• Simple questions can reveal what type of conversation is needed
• The power of asking "How can I help?" or "What do you need?"

Personal Stories Shared:

• Justin's "professor moment" with his daughter walking up the hill
• The powerful feedback: "I don't need you to be my psychologist. I need you to be my dad."
• Examples of transforming typical parent-child interactions

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Ask what type of conversation your child wants to have
2. Practice the WAIT principle (Why Am I Talking?)
3. Focus on listening more than solving
4. Learn to identify practical vs. emotional vs. social conversations
5. Create space for connection rather than correction

Resources Mentioned:

• "Super Communicators" by Charles Duhigg
• Full interview available in Saturday's episode
• happyfamilies.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How to support children through their fears and phobias - whether it's buttons, beards, or anything in between - without escalating their anxiety.

Key Points:

• Children's fears, no matter how irrational they seem, are genuinely frightening to them
• Trying to have rational conversations with emotional children is counterproductive
• Telling children they have "no choice" increases anxiety rather than reducing it
• Creating emotional safety must come before addressing the fear itself
• Gentle exposure combined with patience is more effective than forced confrontation

Quote of the Episode: "Your child is not being difficult. He is experiencing a difficulty. There's a really big difference there."

Key Insights:

• The importance of validating feelings before problem-solving
• Why social normalisation often helps naturally reduce fears
• How creating distance between stimulus and response can help
• The value of giving children agency in finding solutions
• Why parent-led solutions are often sufficient without therapy

Resources Mentioned:

• Inside Out 2 movie review episode (January 16th)
• Happy Families website
• School inclusion policies

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Acknowledge the fear without trying to talk them out of it
2. Focus on creating emotional safety before addressing the fear
3. Look for and celebrate "brave moments"
4. Give children agency in finding solutions
5. Consider alternative practical solutions (like wearing sports uniform)
6. Work with schools to find accommodations when needed
7. Remember that most childhood fears resolve with patience and support

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie explore eight bold predictions for parenting and family life in 2025, covering everything from emerging parenting styles to AI's impact on education and the challenges facing young men. 

Key Predictions

1. **The Rise of Lighthouse Parenting**
   - Moving away from helicopter and free-range parenting extremes
   - Parents act as steady guides while children navigate independently
   - Balanced approach between oversight and autonomy

2. **AI in the Living Room**
   - Explosion of AI use in everyday parenting
   - Personalized solutions for family challenges
   - Interactive parenting resource for various needs
   - Notable energy consumption implications

3. **AI Revolution in Education**
   - Traditional schools facing paradigm shift
   - Move from standardized to personalized learning
   - Emphasis on AI literacy and critical thinking

4. **Homeschooling Growth**
   - Increasing mainstream adoption
   - Driven by concerns about school environment
   - Enhanced by technological capabilities
   - Post-pandemic perspective shift

5. **Cost of Living Adaptations**
   - Rise in multi-generational living
   - "Backyard as the new Byron Bay" - focus on staycations
   - Response to economic pressures

6. **YouTube Dominance**
   - Shift in children's career aspirations
   - Increasing influence over traditional media
   - Growing platform preference among Gen Alpha

7. **Phone and Social Media Restrictions**
   - Classroom phone bans showing positive results
   - New legislation for under-16 social media access
   - Australia leading global tech restriction movement

8. **Focus on Boys' Development**
   - Addressing educational and social challenges
   - Growing concern about male disengagement
   - Seeking solutions for the "boy problem"

Notable Quotes
"Lighthouse parents illuminate" - Justin on the new parenting style
"The pandemic was just the trailer. 2025 is the feature film for homeschooling."

Resources Mentioned
- Jonathan Haidt's "The Anxious Generation"
- happyfamilies.com.au

Credits
Produced by Justin Ruillon from Bridge Media

*Note: This is a predictions episode and all forecasts are speculative. Check back at the end of 2025 for accuracy review.*

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Australia's most decorated Olympian, Emma McKeon, shares intimate insights about her journey from young swimmer to Olympic champion, revealing the crucial role her parents played in fostering success without pressure. Her story provides a masterclass in supporting children's sporting endeavors while maintaining joy and balance.

Key Points:

• The importance of enjoyment over achievement in youth sports
• How parental support without pressure builds self-determination
• Managing early-morning training and self-motivation
• Balancing multiple activities during teenage years
• Transforming competition anxiety into positive energy

Quote of the Episode: "They never pressured me either way to swim or not to swim... They just wanted me to enjoy what I was doing and be happy in what I was doing, find something I was passionate about."

Key Insights:

• Success comes from internal motivation, not external pressure
• The value of maintaining multiple interests and activities
• How to handle failure and setbacks constructively
• The importance of supporting children "no matter what"
• Why enjoyment must precede excellence

Personal Stories Shared:

• Missing the 2012 London Olympics by 0.1 seconds
• Early morning training experiences
• Having her father as both parent and coach
• Balancing swimming with other activities

Resources Mentioned:

• Self-Determination Theory
• Research on youth sports participation
• Multi-sport participation benefits

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Focus on enjoyment before achievement
2. Allow children to set their own goals
3. Support multiple activities and interests
4. Help reframe anxiety as excitement
5. Maintain unconditional support regardless of performance

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can a little “selfishness” make you a better parent? Join Kylie and Justin as they share relatable parenting mishaps, with a reminder that taking care of yourself is a gift to everyone around you.

Key Points:

• The value of a "do nothing" holiday
• Finding permission for personal time
• How parenting changes across different children
• The impact of slowing down

Quote of the Episode: "We've been trained for so long to believe that taking time out for ourselves is selfish. And we've got to change the narrative." - Kylie Coulson

Key Insights:

• Younger children often get different versions of their parents
• Taking time for yourself makes you better for everyone else
• Growth and maturity in parenting benefit all children differently
• Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what families need

Action Steps:

1. Give yourself permission for personal time
2. Recognize different seasons of parenting
3. Look for ways to connect with older children
4. Create space for new family traditions

Resources Mentioned:

• happyfamilies.com.au
• Emma McKeon interview (upcoming weekend content)

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Inside Out 2 isn’t just a movie—it’s a parenting masterclass on navigating the beautiful chaos of adolescence! Justin and Kylie Coulson explore the profound parenting insights from Inside Out 2, discussing teen brain development, emotional complexity, and why this film offers valuable understanding for parents.

Key Points:

• Teen brain development and the "construction zone" phase
• The role of anxiety in adolescent decision-making
• How emotions work together (or sometimes don't)
• Why perfect isn't possible or desirable
• The importance of embracing all experiences, both good and bad

Quote of the Episode: "Life is supposed to be joyful. It's just that it can't stay that way all the time." - Justin Coulson

Key Insights:

• Understanding teen brain development through visual metaphors
• How anxiety can both protect and hinder
• The exhaustion of trying to maintain constant positivity
• Why difficult experiences contribute to wholeness
• The complexity of managing multiple emotions

Research Referenced:

• Dr. Lisa Damour's work on teen psychology
• Adolescent brain development research
• The role of the prefrontal cortex in teen decision-making

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Watch the film with your teens
2. Discuss emotional complexity openly
3. Acknowledge the challenge of growth
4. Embrace imperfection
5. Create space for all emotions

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Emma McKeon, with 14 Olympic medals, knows what it takes to excel without burning out—and she credits her parents for getting the balance just right. In this episode, we dive into Emma’s upbringing to uncover strategies for encouraging kids to pursue their passions with joy and self-determination. From transforming performance anxiety into a secret weapon to helping children develop discipline on their own terms, this conversation offers invaluable insights for every parent. Tune in to learn how to support your child’s journey—whether they’re a budding athlete, artist, or simply exploring what they love.

Key Points:
- Finding the balance between encouragement and pressure
- The role of self-determination in achievement
- How to support children through performance anxiety
- Why giving space for autonomy leads to better outcomes
- The importance of maintaining joy in activities

Personal Stories Shared:
- Annie's piano journey from age 3 to 17
- Kylie's telegraph pole experience and anxiety management
- The statistical rarity of Olympic athletes (0.002%)

Quote of the Episode:
"Nerves are showing you that you're doing something brave and worthwhile." - Emma McKeon

Key Insights for Parents:
"Sometimes when our kids are in that tricky space, we often fill that space with unnecessary noise. We call it encouragement. But what they actually need is our quiet patience." - Kylie Coulson
- Allow children to drive their own interests
- Create quiet space for processing anxiety
- Remember it's their life, not ours

Maintaining Perspective:
"It's important that we don't crush what brings them joy... The important thing is that they're doing things that bring them joy and light them up." - Kylie Coulson
- Success looks different for every child
- Focus on enjoyment over achievement
- Allow space for changing interests

The Bigger Picture:
"There are loads and loads of fully functional, wonderful people who quit music or who quit sport and have still gone on to live good lives and even achieve and accomplish in other areas in their lives." - Justin Coulson
- Achievement isn't limited to childhood pursuits
- Life offers multiple paths to success
- Early decisions don't determine lifetime outcomes

Resources Mentioned:
- Dr. Lisa Damour's work on anxiety management
- Emma McKeon's full interview (airing Saturday)
- happyfamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Listeners:
1. Reflect on whether you're supporting or pushing
2. Practice giving space during moments of anxiety
3. Focus on enjoyment over achievement
4. Allow children to set their own goals and pace
5. Remember that quitting one thing doesn't mean failure in life

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever feel like you’re stuck in the loop of “How was your day?” and hearing “meh” in response? Justin and Kylie share research-backed strategies for having meaningful conversations with your children, including five core questions that build emotional intelligence and resilience. Learn why timing and technique matter more than the questions themselves, and discover how these conversations can significantly reduce anxiety and depression in children. 

Key Points:
- The power of well-timed, meaningful conversations
- How conversations build executive function and emotional regulation
- The connection between parent-child discussions and mental health
- Why traditional questions often fail to engage kids
- The importance of timing and technique in family discussions

Research Highlights:
- Harvard's Center on the Developing Child: Back-and-forth conversations build executive function
- Minnesota longitudinal study: Regular meaningful conversations improve emotional intelligence
- Arizona State University: 48% lower rates of anxiety and depression in kids who have regular meaningful discussions with parents

Quote of the Episode:
"Sometimes when we're having difficult conversations, we handle the conversations better if we're actually doing something side by side." - Kylie Coulson

The Five Core Questions:
1. What are some things you're most excited about for 2025?
2. Is there anything you're nervous or worried about this year?
3. What's something you'd love to learn or try this year?
4. When do you feel most like you?
5. What qualities do you admire in others and which ones would you like to develop in yourself?

Key Techniques:
- The WAIT Principle (Why Am I Talking?)
- Using strategic silence
- The power of "Tell me more"
- Avoiding problem-solving unless asked
- Side-by-side conversations

Best Times for Conversations:
- During dinner
- Bedtime
- Walking together
- Car rides
- Over breakfast

Resources Mentioned:
- Harvard's Center on the Developing Child research
- Minnesota longitudinal study
- Dr. Suniya Luther's research at Arizona State University
- happyfamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:
1. Choose the right timing for conversations
2. Practice the WAIT principle
3. Use side-by-side activities for difficult discussions
4. Create regular conversation opportunities at dinner
5. Focus on listening rather than problem-solving

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Justin and Kylie kick off 2025 with a powerful discussion about resetting family life using their WISE Family Reset framework. After experiencing burnout in 2024, they share personal insights about slowing down and making intentional changes for the year ahead.

Quotes of the Episode:

"We're not striving for perfection. We're striving for small, incremental changes." - Justin Coulson
"It's not about getting more things done. It's about getting the right things done." - Greg McKeown

Key Points:
- The challenge of feeling constantly busy but not productive
- How burnout affects family dynamics and personal wellbeing
- The importance of creating space for personal reflection
- Introduction to the WISE Family Reset framework

The WISE Family Reset Framework:

Work out what matters
* Create personal space for reflection
* Understand individual and family priorities

Implement tiny changes
* Start with small, manageable adjustments
* Avoid overwhelming yourself with too many changes at once

Sync as a team
* Get everyone involved in the planning
* Create buy-in through collaboration

Encourage, don't nag
* Focus on positive reinforcement
* Have important conversations at the right time
* Avoid being the "police" when it comes to rules

Resources Mentioned:
Book: "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown
Website: happyfamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Listeners:
1. Schedule some "escape time" for personal reflection
2. Identify one small change to implement this week
3. Plan a family meeting to discuss priorities for 2025
4. Practice encouragement instead of nagging

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Ever wondered how to go beyond the tinsel and treats of Christmas to create a truly holy and meaningful celebration? Justin and Kylie Coulson take you on a journey through the "Three Levels of Christmas," offering heartfelt ideas and inspiring stories to bring joy and purpose to your family’s holiday season.

Whether it's singing carols, setting up nativity scenes, or reflecting on deeper spiritual themes, this episode is full of inspiration for making Christmas a time of connection, love, and purpose.

In this episode:

• Understanding different perspectives & beliefs
• Creating a Christ-centred Christmas
• The three levels of Christmas:
  • Level 1: Santa Claus, gifts, & festive indulgence
  • Level 2: The nativity story & spiritual reflection
  • Level 3: Celebrating Jesus' life & message
• Ideas for making Christmas more meaningful, including carolling, nativity scenes, & giving back
• Stories from listeners about their faith-centred Christmas traditions

Related Links:

• Christmas Day and Divorced Families
• 10 Easy Traditions That Can Make Christmas Meaningful For Your Family
• Have I Ruined Christmas for My Child by Telling the Truth About Santa?

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Does Christmas gift-giving feel more like a burden than a joy as you try to find a balance between gift-giving and avoiding entitlement?

Dr. Justin Coulson and Kylie discuss how to preserve the magic of the season while avoiding the trap of indulgence and entitlement.

In this episode:

• Finding perspective
• Reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas
• Having zero agenda—relationships, games, joyful moments
• What to do when Christmas is hard
• Focusing on others—emphasising giving, kindness, and family traditions over materialism
• The Secret to Happiness? Giving.—Elizabeth Dunn research

Related Links:

• How to Unspoil your Kids this Christmas [Webinar]

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"Are we there yet?"

Long family road trips can definitely be painful, BUT they can also be a great opportunity for some quality family time! We share a list of some helpful road trip games to keep everyone entertained.

• I-spy
• Spotto
• I went to the shops and I bought
• The alphabet game
• Car cricket
• Old MacDonald Had A Farm
• The Goanna Gang
• Bingo
• This Is The Song That Never Ends
• Peel The Avocado
• The Fart Game
• Stay quiet or else!

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Some Christmas movies that will keep your children from getting underfoot while you get the gifts wrapped!

G-rated options:

• The Polar Express
• Klaus
• Arthur Christmas
• Elf
• Home Alone
• Santa Clause

Honourable (grown up) mentions:

• Christmas Chronicles
• Bad Santa
• The Holiday

Nativity movies:

• The Nativity Story (2006)
• Chasing The Star (2017)
• VeggieTales: The Little Drummer Boy (2011)
• The Star (2017)
• Journey to Bethlehem (a musical) (2023)
• The First Christmas (1998)

Purchase Tis the Season to be Cranky or How to Unspoil your Kids this Christmas

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Christmas is a time where we can really lean into and celebrate family traditions! 

Christmas traditions:

• Gifts, Santa. decorating
• Spending time with loved ones
• Advent, carols, the nativity
• Christmas Eve, stockings, pyjamas, Jolabokaflod
• Christmas ninjas - giving & serving others

Related Links:

• Take Back Christmas
• Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life

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Feel like you're drowning in a sea of Christmas "shoulds" and "musts" as a parent? Or that you're constantly running on empty, with no energy left to enjoy moments with your kids? 

This episode of I'll Do Better Tomorrow addresses the burnout that many parents experience during the holiday season and beyond. 

Listen in to hear Justin and Kyle share their own struggles and insights, as well as some helpful tips on how to break free from the cycle of exhaustion and find joy in the simple things again. 

In this episode:

• Kylies in a flunk in the lead up to Christmas, feeling burnt out and stressed
• Prioritising tasks
• Introjection motivation
• What is it that you want?
• Taking time to reflect on what has worked in the past for mental, physical, and emotional well-being
• Alfie Kohn
• Do one thing well
• Making time for loved ones

Related Links:

• Self Care Strategies That Really Work
• We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing [ Webinar ]
• Burnt Out [ FREE webinar ]

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This episode unpacks Australia's groundbreaking social media ban for kids under 16, set to roll out by Christmas 2025. With tech giants stepping up enforcement, parents are relieved, while teens face digital detoxes.

Join the discussion as we explore Prince Harry’s surprising critique, parents’ joys and woes, and strategies for tackling this new era of tech parenting.

In this episode:

• New legislation
• Australia's incoming social media ban cannot be considered overreach | Sky News 
• Bullying over social media
• Parental reactions
• Prince Harry's comments 
• Why Harry has it royally wrong on social media dangers | Daily Telegraph
• Implementation, digital IDs
• Navigating conversations with kids
• Acknowledging sadness and disappointment, FOMO
• The flow-on effect of the ban
• The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, Empower

Related Links:

• Super Solutions for Technology Troubles [Webinar]
• Unplug Childhood - join the village

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This episode takes a heartfelt turn as we delve into one of the most touching Christmas stories ever written—O. Henry’s The Gift of the Magi. Whether you’re a longtime fan of the tale or hearing it for the first time, its timeless message of love and sacrifice is sure to move you.

In this episode:

• A reflection on Christmas storytelling
• O. Henry’s The Gift of the Magi
• Sacrifice, love, and the spirit of giving

Related Links:

• 10 Easy Traditions That Can Make Christmas Meaningful For Your Family
  
• Gifts our Children Need For Christmas

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Christmas is almost here! In this festive episode, we share five simple yet impactful ways to elevate your holiday celebrations. Whether it’s through meaningful traditions, playful gift exchanges, or acts of kindness, we’re here to help you focus on what truly matters—time, connection, and joy.

In this episode:

• Focus on time together
• Fun with gifts
• Christmas Eve traditions
• Jolabokaflod - Icelandic book tradition
• Acts of service
• Neighbourhood connections

Related Links:

• Minimising Materialism this Christmas
  
• 10 Ways to ‘Unspoil’ the Children this Christmas

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As the end of the year closes in us, we take a look back at 2024 and the top five episodes you listened to this year.

Click on the links to go back and listen to an episode.

• Number 5 - #1041 Screens Suck
• Number 4 - #1042 Work & Home School Life Balance
• Number 3 - #1009 ADHD in Adults & Toddlers
• Number 2 - #1038 Managing Emotional Dysregulation
• Number 1 - #1055 Why The Kids Don't Listen

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It's the weekly wrap up, where we look back at the week that was and figure out ways that we can improve in our parenting.

In this episode:

• Despite being guaranteed downtime this year, Kylie is feeling more tired than ever.
• If we want to do better, we need to do less.
• Self awareness is a game changer.
• Putting your whole self into whatever you are doing.

Related Links:

• Leidy Klotz - Subtract

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This Christmas, skip the shopping stress and focus on what really matters.

From creating a stress-free environment to embracing meaningful traditions, we explore how these intangible gifts—none of which require wrapping paper or a credit card—can bring joy and connection to your family. 

In this episode:

• Peace
• Presence not presents
• Playfulness
• Purpose
• Family traditions
• Reject the pursuit of perfection
• 3 Levels of Christmas

Related Links:

• Take Back Christmas
• 10 Easy Traditions That Can Make Christmas Meaningful For Your Family

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What happens when online bullying transcends the screen and starts shaping young lives in tragic ways?

With eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant, we uncover the harsh realities of cyberbullying, sextortion, and the online traps facing today’s youth.

Learn about innovative tools and strategies available to parents, educators, and schools to protect children, as well as the importance of staying engaged in your kids’ digital lives.

In this episode:

• The role of Australia's eSafety Commissioner
• Cyberbullying & mental health 
• Emerging online threats (doxing, sextortion, violent language, isolating victims)
• Contagion effect of self harm
• Parental awareness & responsibility
• Cooperation from platforms
• Removing content
• Tools and resources for parents and educators
• Teaching kids to report bullying & collect evidence
• Setting boundaries & modelling respectful communication at home
• Strategies for managing kids' screen time

Related Links:

• #639 Online Sextortion With Detective Superintendent Jayne Crossling
• Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14
• Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800
• 13YARN Australia | For First Nation Australians - 13 92 76

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As the holidays approach, many parents are preparing their children for the transition into school.

Zoe Wragg, a parent educator and former primary school teacher, shares practical advice on making this major change easier. From understanding what school readiness really means to offering tips for supporting reading development, Zoe will help ease your worries. 

Plus—strategies for a smooth start to 2025 with simple, actionable tips that parents can apply during the holidays.

In this episode:

• Transitioning children to school
• School readiness
• Overcoming overwhelm in preparing children for school
• Reading skills and supporting beginning readers
• Free school readiness checklist 
• Tips for parents navigating the holidays and preparing for school next year
• www.edzocate.com.au

Related Links:

• Starting School Activity Book [A free Happy Families resource!]
• The Big Debate: Should you Delay your Child’s Start in School?
• Facing First Day Fears [Webinar] 

Find massive savings during the Happy Families Black Friday Sale

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A few months ago we spoke about the momentum that was building for age restrictions around social media for children under 16.  On Friday those laws were passed in the Australian Parliament, so we thought this was the perfect opportunity to replay this episode, as it will help your family navigate the changes that are ahead.

In Australia, children below a certain age will be banned from social media as part of a national plan to counter its negative effects on youth. We discuss the government's commitments, the challenges this new legislation may face, and what parents can do now to protect their kids in a screen-saturated world.

In this episode:

• 'National Social Media Age Limit' | A Current Affair
• Why 13+ is the current legal age
• Collecting personal data
• Politics and obstacles facing this legislation
• The impact of social media on kids
• Using screens well: with intentionality, self-regulation, limits
• Play-based childhood vs screen-based childhood
• Holding tech companies accountable
• What parents can do while waiting for legislation to pass
• Kids need smart parents not smartphones
• Building community
• Unplug Childhood - sign the pledge & join the village today! 
• The Screen Smart Series: 'Unplug Childhood' & 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' (included in membership).

Related links: 

• #980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt
• Tech Giants are Anti-Kids

Black Friday sale ends tonight! 

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It's Friday, which means our weekly 'I'll Do Better Tomorrow' reflections, looking back on the week that was and thinking of ways we can improve as parents.

As the year winds down, Kylie and Justin reflect on their goals and parenting approaches, offering a mix of humor, candid thoughts, and lessons learned.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Our words of the year - EMBRACE (Kylie) and PRESENT (Justin) - did we live up to them?
• Justin putting the important things on hold to have fun with the kids.
• The "good enough" parent
• Fun pool games
• Homeschool reflections
• Kylie discovering that the things we have always held tightly to, may not be what's important now.

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Dive with us into three issues impacting parents today:

1. Woolies has partnered with Roblox (and parents are mad!).
2. The rise of nicotine pouches among teens as a discreet alternative to vaping or smoking.
3. Proposed legislation to ban kids under 16 from accessing social media and the challenges of enforcement.

In this episode:

• Roblox Rewards at Woolies
• Thousands of Australians Call for Woolworths to Axe Partnership with Gaming App Roblox | Daily Telegraph
• Teens getting "nic-sick" with zyns
• Addictive, hard to detect, easy to procure
• Nicotine pouches gaining popularity with teens despite being illegal in Australia | ABC News
• Opposition to the social media legislation
• Finding refuge & safety online
• Policing legislation
• Unplug Childhood

Related Links:

• #974 Roblox Rules
• The Screen Smart Series [Webinars]
• Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit (More nirvana. Less drama.)
• Bad Influence of Influencers

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How do we teach our boys about consent in a world filled with mixed messages and harmful influences? Daniel Principe shares his experience working with boys, schools, and families to address this challenge. 

From tackling online influences to reshaping outdated notions of masculinity, Daniel paints a hopeful yet realistic picture of where we stand and what needs to improve. He explains why starting conversations early and normalising openness can make all the difference—and why no child is ever beyond hope.

Daniel Principe is a boys' advocate, speaker, Australian of the Year nominee, and Consent Can't Wait ambassador.

In this episode:

• Consent & boys: what's working & what's not? 
• Exposure to harmful online content
• Normalising open conversations about consent, porn & relationships
• Building emotional literacy
• Reshaping societal ideas about masculinity
• How to protect your child from becoming victims or perpetrators of harmful behaviours
• Removing punishment & shame
• No Matter What
• Building strong men of the future

Related Links:

• Boys & Screens: Gaming, Gambling, & Pornography [Webinar]
• Helping Our Boys Grow Into Men
• Pornography-Proofing Your Kids 
• #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard-Reist

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Is repeating a year of school really the best solution for struggling students?

Join us as we unpack the research, share personal stories, and discuss why alternatives like tailored teaching/differentiation, extra support, and starting school at the right age may yield better outcomes for your child.

Whether you’re grappling with this decision or curious about educational trends, this episode offers valuable insights to guide you.

In this episode:

• Pros/cons of grade retention
• Differences in learning (heterogeneity)
• Delaying the start of formal education (redshirting)
• Competency & self-esteem
• Global trends in repeating a school year
• Effectiveness of grade retention: A systematic review and meta-analysis
• Social consequences
• Alternatives to retention
• Practical advice for parents with struggling students

Related Links:

• Starting School Activity Book
• The Big Debate: Should you Delay your Child’s Start in School?

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With Christmas just around the corner, it's time for men to step up and do some shopping! Don't let Mum be the only one without a present under the tree this year. 

This episode explores why many far too mums feel left out during the festive season and just want to be thought of by their family. Tune in for practical tips, heartfelt conversations, and a reminder that the best gifts don't have to break the bank.

In this episode:

• The cognitive load of gift-giving
• Not enough men are buying the women in their lives Christmas presents
• Money & budgets
• Materialism
• Unique gift ideas
• Supporting local charities
• Giving Machine | Light The World

Related Links:

• 16 Gifts our Children Need For Christmas
• Minimising Materialism this Christmas
• Christmas Day and Divorced Families

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Parenting isn’t always smooth sailing, especially with a teenager in the house. In this reflective episode, Justin shares a wake-up call about his own negativity bias and how shifting his focus transformed a tricky relationship. Kylie brings balance with a reminder that kids spell love as T-I-M-E.

Whether you’re juggling the chaos of year-end or simply trying to connect better, this episode offers inspiration to help you do better tomorrow.

In this episode:

• Parenting teenagers
• Teens & screens
• Relationship bucket
• Focusing on the negative vs finding the positives in relationships
• #148 Flecks of Gold
• Intentional 1-1 time with each child
• Kids spell love T.I.M.E

Related Links:

• Building Strong Parent-Child Connections That Last
• Miss-Connection Webinar (Why Your Teenage Daughter “Hates” You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk)
• Intentional vs. Unintentional Parenting 

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Curious about homeschooling? After a year of diving into this countercultural approach to education, Justin and Kylie share the surprising benefits, the unexpected challenges, and the transformative impact it’s had on their family.

In this episode:

• Highs & lows of homeschooling
• Facebook post - join the conversation!
• Emotional regulation
• Neurodivergence
•  #1111 - Home Schooling 101 With Brett Campbell of Euka
• Freedom, flexibility & tailored learning
• Challenges - financial constraints, socialisation, expectations
• De-schooling
• Unrealistic expectations
• Connection with friends

Related Links:

• How to Help when School Sucks
• #405 The Homeschool Parent - Deb
• #1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation

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Consent, respect, and healthy relationships—how can parents prepare their children for these crucial aspects of life?

Chanel Contos, founder of the Teach Us Consent movement, joins Justin to discuss the challenges of addressing normalised sexual violence, the role parents play in creating open dialogues, and the crucial inclusion of boys in these conversations.

In this episode:

• Talk About Consent | consent.gov.au
• Normalised sexual violence
• Pornography
• Consent Laid Bare: Sex, Entitlement & the Distortion of Desire by Chanel Contos
• Educating parents & teachers
• Age-appropriate conversations
• Respect, boundaries & removing shame
• Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14
• Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800
• 13YARN Australia | For First Nation Australians - 13 92 76

Related Links:

• Sex, Consent & Staying Safe [Webinar]
• #217 The Age of Consent with Rebecca Sparrow

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Are we giving kids the equivalent of car keys to a digital world they're not prepared to navigate?

In this episode, Dr. Justin Coulson and guest Matt Purcell dive into the complex issue of kids and social media. From the psychological toll it takes on young users to the uphill battle parents face in managing screen time, we explore practical solutions and innovative tools like 'Social Kung Fu' to empower families and to protect our children. 

In this episode:

• Impact of social media on youth mental health
• Age restrictions for social media
• Balancing online independence & safety
• Forming alliances among families (The Heads Up Alliance, Unplug Childhood)
• Algorithms
• Holding social media accountable
• Social Kung Fu - equipping kids with verbal & cyber self-defence skills
• Code of conduct with devices

Related Links:

• 5 Ways to Set Screen Time Limits With Your Children
• Unplugged Parenthood: Reducing Screen Time to Strengthen Family Connections
• The Screen Smart Series

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Dr Emma Watkins is bringing something new to the table with an exclusive project every parent will want to hear about. Join us for a behind-the-scenes look into her inspiring journey!

In this episode:

• The Wiggles
• Emma Memma
• Dr Emma Watkins' PhD Abstract
• Sign-language
• Self-care & goats
• Balancing dreams with realistic goals
• Endometriosis & fertility challenges
• A Dream for Every Night with Emma Watkins - Audible Book

Related links:

• Self Care Strategies That Really Work

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Ever faced the uphill battle of convincing your kids to put down their devices, step into nature, and engage with life?

I'll Do Better Tomorrow: Justin and Kylie chat about dealing with pushback when you know what's best for your kids, but they resist.

In this episode:

• Tech-free teens
• Firm but loving encouragement to step outside comfort zones
• Modelling active engagement
• Motivating teenagers
• Wild Robots movie
• Making bids for connection
• Tough love

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Dive into cutting-edge studies on parenting and child development, from income's role in behaviour to the debate over smacking's effects. Find out what the latest research says about the best ways to support our kids’ growth!

In this episode:

• Impact of income on children's behaviour & development
• New study...better support would bring lifelong benefits | The Conversation
• Preschoolers: physical activity, screen time & sleep
• Study reveals most three and four-year-olds don’t get enough exercise or sleep, but too much screen time | The West Australian
• School mobile phone bans
• ‘Protecting a generation’: School phone bans pass the test | The Daily Telegraph 
• Smacking harms child development

• Negative effects of childhood spanking may be overstated, study claims | NY Post

• Study published in the Marriage & Family Review

• Data vs morality & philosophy

• The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson

Related Links:

• Why It’s Not Ok To Smack Your Kids
• Unplug Childhood
• #1060 - No Hang-Ups With School Phone Bans 
• Screen Time Guidelines Updated for the Touchscreen Generation 

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Raising a neurodivergent child can feel like an uphill battle, especially within a rigid school system. In this episode, Dr. Justin Coulson, along with Madonna King and Rebecca Sparrow, share essential strategies for empowering neurodivergent children and offer hope to parents navigating this challenging path.

In this episode:

• Out of the Box: A Guide to Navigating Neurodivergence by Madonna King and Rebecca Sparrow
• Common struggles of ND kids
• Undiagnosed girls
• Masking & camouflaging

• Lack of training & resources in schools

• 3 basic psychological needs

• Parent-school partnerships

• Homeschooling
• Tips for ND kids starting a new school

Related Links:

• Supporting Autistic Children [The Course] 
• Help For The ADHD Parent
• Championing Neurodiversity Webinar
• One-Minute Wellbeing: Fifty Quick Tips for Educators 

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At a recent Fathers of Girls conference, Kylie brought a room full of dads to tears as she spoke about the power of time and connection in parenting. Listen to her heartfelt message, reminding us that it is the time we spend with our children that truly matters.

In this episode:

• Personal Progress Interviews
• Creating a safe space 
• Having your child's back no matter what
• Love is spelt T.I.M.E
• Fostering deep connections with your child

Related Links:

• I Work Full-time. How do I Connect With my Kids?
• Building Strong Parent-Child Connections That Last
• Miss-Connection | 7 Day Connection Challenge

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Schoolies Week can be a thrilling time for teens, but it’s often a nerve-wracking experience for parents. In this episode, we share two essential strategies every parent needs to help their teens navigate Schoolies Week safely and responsibly.

In this episode:

• Schoolies: a rite of passage?
• Open, honest communication (before and during Schoolies)
• Safety planning
• Creating strong support networks
• Boundaries
• Peer pressure
• Responsible drinking
• Consent
• "Strong and safe"

Related Links:

• 5 Essential Conversations to Have with Your Teen Before Schoolies
• #886 Get Set for Schoolies With Paul Dillon

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Every Friday we do "I'll Do Better Tomorrow", where Justin and Kylie reflect on the week that was, and how they can be better parents tomorrow.

In this episode:

• Dads and straight up conversations
• Girls are layered
• Dadding vs Babysitting
• Not dropping your son-in-law in it.
• Don't sweat the small stuff

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"Region Beta Paradox"is a phenomenon where minor annoyances that don't seem urgent can actually cause more stress over time if left unaddressed. 

We apply this concept to parenting, showing how minor behaviours in children, like whining or sibling squabbles, can escalate if repeatedly ignored, affecting both the child's development and the parent's well-being.

In this episode:

• The Region Beta Paradox
• Why small annoyances can harm us more than big disruptions  | PSYCHE
• Parenting implications of ignoring minor behaviours
• Psychological toll on parents

• Importance of empathy and emotional regulation in responding to children

• Solutions for parents

• Self-care and setting boundaries
• Avoiding screens

Related Links: 

• How to Respond When Triggered by Your Child
• Self-Care Strategies That Really Work
• Overwhelm: Self-care Strategies for When Everything is Too Much [Webinar]
• Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits
• Unplugged Parenthood: Reducing Screen Time to Strengthen Family Connections
• Developmental Milestones: What to Expect From Birth to Adulthood

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Bullying can have a huge impact on our kids' lives.

Recently, Dr Justin had a conversation with Rachel and Sarah on their podcast The Parenting Couch. Today's snippet from that covers definitions of bullying, how to open up conversations about it, and what steps to take when your child is involved. Find the link to the full conversation in our show notes. 

In this episode:

• What is bullying? Verbal, physical, repeated, cyber-bullying
• Having conversations with your kids
• Emotions
• Feeling seen, heard, valued
• Encouraging empathy and "upstanding" behaviour 
• What to do when bullying happens
• When to involve other parents

Related Links: 

• Stop the Bully: Proven Strategies to Empower Your Child, with Dr Justin Coulson | The Parenting Couch Podcast 

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*Listener discretion advised*

A concerned parent, Emily, has sent in a sensitive but increasingly relevant question. Emily’s seven-year-old son confided that his friend was suggesting inappropriate behaviours, including taking photos of private areas.

Listen in for guidance on handling difficult conversations, protecting children’s safety, and fostering trust.

In this episode:

• Importance of a trusting parent-child relationship
• Developmental appropriate behaviour
• Girlfriend/boyfriend in primary school
• Guidance on sensitive conversations
• Steps for addressing friend's behaviour
• Age-appropriate education on bodies, boundaries, consent
• Empowering children
• Ongoing vigilance and support

Related Links: 

• Should our Young Children have Boyfriends or Girlfriends at School?
• #1071 – Body Boundaries With Jayneen Sanders
• 7 Strategies For When Your Child Accidentally Finds Pornography
• #898 Porn-Proofing Your Kids with Kristen Jenson

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Why do our kids seem like they're never listening, no matter how many times we repeat ourselves? 

Today, we share nine practical strategies that can help you to communicate more effectively with your kids, reduce those frustrating moments, and strengthen family connections... without repeating yourself over and over (and over!) again.

In this episode:

• Why repeating instructions doesn’t work
• Common misunderstandings between parents and kids
• How to improve communication

Related Links:

• What To Do When Kids Won’t Listen
• How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [Ebook + AudioBook]

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The secret ingredient every child craves for feeling loved and understood is their parent's undivided time and attention.

Discover why making small sacrifices in your busy schedule to connect with your kids can have a profound impact on your relationship with them.

In this episode:

• Halloween

• Fathers of Girls

• QLD politics & corporal punishment

• Kylie's riding, Justin's writing

• Love is spelt T.I.M.E

• Making time for the things that matter most

• Intentional connection

Don't miss the final intake for our Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence

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Halloween can be an equal mix of excitement for the kids and chaos for parents, right? And finding a balance between our children's desire for independence (to have fun, to explore, and to eat ALL the sugar) whilst maintaining a sense of safety is a challenge.

We share some practical tips to help make Halloween meaningful for your family, from building community connections to teaching social skills, plus some fun twists on the classic trick-or-treat! 🎃👻

In this episode:

• Balancing fun & safety for kids
• Setting boundaries & rules
• Alternative Halloween celebrations
• Trunk-or-treat
• Cultural differences (gore vs fun)
• Community & family bonding
• Teaching social skills and life lessons

Related Links:

• An Australian Halloween
• Worried about too much sugar? Some helpful tips from 'Kids Eat In Color'

Don't miss the final intake for our Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence

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Is homeschooling right for your family? A rising number of Australian parents are questioning if this alternative path could truly work for them and their children’s unique needs. 

We delve into the realities of homeschooling with Brett Campbell, CEO of Australia’s largest homeschooling provider, Euka, as he shares insights, data, and tips that could transform the way you think about your child’s education.

In this episode:

• Top reasons for homeschooling

• Flexible schedule
• Socialisation
• Finding community
• University Pathway – Grade 11 & 12 Options
• Future Learners Podcast
• Misconceptions about homeschooling

Related Links: 

• #1042 – Work & Home School Life Balance
• How to Help when School Sucks
• #503 - Home Schooling 101

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Are the classic birth order stereotypes of the responsible eldest, the overlooked middle child, and the free-spirited youngest really grounded in science—or are we just buying into myths?

Join us as we unpack the surprising research behind these family labels and discover what truly shapes your child’s personality, beyond their place in the sibling lineup.

In this episode:

• Birth order stereotypes
• What your sibling birth order does—and doesn’t—explain | VOX
• Birth Order Theory - Alfred Adler
• Gender roles & family dynamics
• Family size, age gaps, & unique circumstances
• Confirmation bias
• Personality traits & birth order
• Avoiding rigid labels

Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence

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Three news stories for 'This Week in Parenting':

Is your phone getting in the way of quality time with your kids? Research shows that when parents are glued to their devices, children are more likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, and attention issues!

A proposal to replace team sports with yoga and pilates in Victorian schools raises concerns about the balance between physical activity and academic focus.

Plus, why homeschooling is booming in QLD!

In this episode:

• Parents Distracted By Smartphones Linked To Higher Anxiety In Kids | Forbes
• Negative impact on child development
• Being intentional with screen use
• Feeling seen, heard & valued
• Private schools ditch footy for yoga in APS shake-up  | Herald Sun
• Mindfulness
• Team sports & competition
• Sedentary learning
• Home-schooling explosion in Qld fed by bullied children | The Courier Mail

Related Links:

• #1107 - This Week in Parenting: Roblox Hell & Parental Health Hazards 
• Our Phones Are Wrecking Us
• Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence

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When a child is upset or angry, it’s easy to think their outburst is about the immediate problem. The real challenge for parents is identifying the deeper emotions driving these reactions. Kylie shares a conversation with her daughter that started as a fight over Roblox but ended with heartfelt tears over a completely different issue.

By taking the time to talk with our kids, we can help them uncover the true reasons behind their strong feelings.

In this episode:

• Play dates & Roblox

• 14 reasons why....

• Homeschooling 
• Need for connection

• Hindenburg Research: Roblox

• Roblox - a tool for sexual predators
• The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower

Related Links: 

• Keeping kids safe on Roblox 
• Why Your Kids Need a Tribe
• Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence

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This Week in Parenting:

Roblox is a ridiculously popular game—but not just with kids..and not always for gaming! We take a quick look at the dark side of this platform and how parents can keep children safe online.

While a recent report warns that parenting can harm mental health, Justin and Kylie suggest that parenting doesn't need to be stressful—we just need a little less pressure and a lot more fun. 

Finally, Meta has shifted the responsibility of protecting kids online to parents, while failing to adequately safeguard children on their platforms.

In this episode:

• Roblox: a paedophile hellscape
• Roblox Inflated Data And Doesn’t Protect Underage Gamers | Forbes
• Parental stress & isolation
• Where is the village?
• Parenting Is Hazardous to Your Health, the Surgeon General Warns | WSJ
• Age-verification for social media
• Meta wants app stores and Aussie parents to act as social media age limit 'gateway' | The Daily Telegrap
• Parental Guidance Season 3 applications open
• Supporting Autistic Children Course (early bird pricing ends soon!)

Related Links: 

• Keeping kids safe on Roblox 
• It Takes A Village… But the Village is Sick
• #1072 – Does Parenting Have a PR Problem?
• Answers with Dr Justin Coulson | The Screen Smart Series

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Paediatric Dietician Karina Savage, founder of Nourishing Kids, chats with Justin about gut microbiome, sharing practical tips for parents on creating a healthy eating environment for children.

In this episode:

• Good bugs, bad bugs - gut bacteria
• Symbiosis/dysbiosis & immunity
• Fussy eating
• Leaky gut
• Probiotics & prebiotics (fibre)
• Force creates resistance (or anxiety)
• Nourish With Karina
• The Easy Feed Podcast with Karina Savage (Paediatric Dietician)

Related Links:

• How do I Get My Child to Eat Healthy Food Without the Power Struggles?
• #1101 – Fussy to Healthy Eaters With Karina Savage

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Neda's 3-year-old son enjoys rough play but struggles to dial it back with his younger sibling, sometimes leading to unintentional harm. Dr. Justin offers six strategies to help every parent manage this lack of regulation in little ones.

Emma from Brisbane knows that picking your battles is a pro-parenting tip. But the challenge of knowing when to enforce clear and consistent boundaries and when to step back (without becoming "white noise" to your kids!) can be relentless.

In this episode:

• Cognitive development
• Lack of regulation
• Boys & rough play
• Quality time
• Risky, active play
• Building sibling bonds

• Family meetings: 3 questions

• Asking kids for consent before sharing consent/correction

• "But why?"

Related Links:

• #764 Should We Stop Our Boys Playing Rough?
• Teaching Kids Kindness [Webinar] 
• The Case for Risky Play in an Age of Overprotection
• #1045 – The Art & Science of Family Meetings

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Has your child been hanging around with a friend that you don't approve of?  Does your kid's behaviour change when they spend time with certain friends?  Perhaps you've been thinking of stepping in and putting some control around who your kids are friends with.

In this episode:

• Is it a good idea to control our children's friendships?
• Relationships are hard
• Relationships are two ways
• Whey stepping in may hinder learning and growth

Related Links:

• Maternal Disapproval of Friends damages the Peer Status of Pre and Early Adolescents
• Forbidden Friends as Forbidden Fruit
• How do I Keep my Daughter Away from her Boyfriend?
• Supporting Autistic Children Course (NDIS approved)

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