297 avsnitt • Längd: 40 min • Veckovis: Tisdag
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child’s adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
The podcast Securely Attached is created by Dr. Sarah Bren. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- The science of why transitions are so hard for the ADHD brain - it’s not just that you or your child are "difficult," it’s actually the way a neurodiverse brain works.
- What type of executive functioning skills need more scaffolding for a person with ADHD (And the good news, that being intentional about strengthen them can be a real game changer!)
- Some of these underdeveloped skills can create a snowball effect. Learn exactly how you can identify and make changes to your child’s day to improve these challenging patterns.
- A few real-life examples of how Dr. Emily breaks down tasks, like getting her son to soccer practice with all his gear or helping him study for a test, that makes it easier for him, her, and their whole family.
- Creating a systematic approach for lessening how much support you offer your child that is most likely to help them internalize these new skills and behaviors.
- A transition hack you can use that will make it easier to go from activity to activity.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
The digital platform Dr. Emily uses with her own child: Quizlet
Create a visual guide of your child's routine: Small Dry Erase Whiteboard,
A visual timer you can use: 60-Minute Timer
👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person groups for kids who live locally and coaching virtual supports for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
The way we parent isn’t just shaped by psychology—it’s deeply influenced by culture, shaping how our children experience love, discipline, and security in ways we may not even realize. Joining me to unpack this is clinical psychologist Dr. Miguelina German.
In this episode we explore:
- Two overarching parenting frameworks, Attachment Theory and Baumrind Parenting Practices, and how understanding the nuances of each can help us in our parenting approach.
- The importance of “warmth” in parenting and what the research reveals of the positive correlation between our child’s perception of high warmth with positive outcomes.
- How generational trauma, values, and cultural norms can inform differences in parenting strategies and styles.
- The impact of being separated from a caregiver as a young child and the attachment rupture that can occur during critical developmental times.
- How to repair a relationship that has undergone an attachment rupture.
Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. By understanding the interplay between attachment, cultural influences, and parenting styles, we can create stronger, more secure connections with our children.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MIGUELINA:
https://www.drmiguelinagerman.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- When you notice unhealthy patterns in how you tend to show up in relationships or in past therapy, how you can communicate that to your new therapist to help treatment be more successful.
- If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of starting with a new therapist, we share a conversation starter that may make you feel more confident.
- Strategies for vetting potential therapists - both for professional expertise as well as goodness of fit.
- Red flags to be on the lookout for as you are deciding if a therapist is right for you.
- Why it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of the different types of evidence-based treatments and clinical interventions for complex trauma, or whatever mental health challenge you’re struggling with.
- How to take into account the cultural, personal, and clinical sensitivities you may have when making your choice.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn about the resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham
🎧 Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if small shifts in the way you parent could help prevent Imposter Syndrome in your child before it even starts? Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin is joining me this week to help parents learn how to raise a child who trusts in their own abilities, values, and worth.
In this episode we explore:
- What imposter syndrome actually is (and what it isn’t!) from a scientific and psychological perspective.
- Why it’s common to see self-sabotaging behaviors in people who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome - and what you can do to help you or your kids combat this.
- The impact of rigid versus growth mindset on children as they develop and grow.
- Are certain attachment patterns more prone to Imposter Syndrome?
- The types of conversations you can have with your child, and even with other adults in front of your child, that will lay the groundwork for resilience.
- Why receiving a neurodiversity diagnosis can be empowering for kids and can help combat many associated challenges, Imposter Syndrome being one of them!
- What does it mean to hyper-regulate and how does our environment reinforce this behavior? Is it more common in men or women? With certain siblings? - We’re unpacking it all!
If you're someone who’s ever doubted their own success, or is noticing perfectionistic tendencies in your child, this episode is packed with eye-opening takeaways you won’t want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LISA:
https://www.dynamictransitionsllp.com/
READ DR. LISA'S BOOKS:
📚 Your Child's Greatness: A Parent's Guide to Raising Children without Impostor Syndrome
📚 Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:
📱 IG: @drorbeaustin and LinkedIn: Lisa Orbé-Austin, PhD
📱 IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- What to do when your reassurances to your child doesn’t help soothe their anxiety.
- A sample script of the type of thing you can say (and wait to try to avoid saying) to help your child believe that they can cope with the feeling of anxiety.
- When our good intentions go bad - some of the most common “mistakes” parents make when navigating their child’s anxiety.
- Understanding the difference between temporarily soothing your child’s fears and using a more effective long-term solution.
- Is it anxiety? The questions to ask yourself to help you determine if your child is experiencing anxiety beyond a normative level.
- How to tell your child you are going to start doing things differently when they start feeling anxious.
- Should you respond differently when your child’s anxiety is fueled by something that is possible (like a medical misdiagnosis) rather than something we as adults know are impossible (like a monster under the bed)?
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Eli Lebowitz about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) that he developed
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring SPACE and the treatment options for childhood anxiety, CLICK HERE to learn about the support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing your child's separation anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan joins me to unpack the “perfect mom” pressure so many of us contend with on a daily basis.
In this episode we cover:
- Why our expectations of motherhood often don’t match reality—and how to stop blaming ourselves when they don’t.
- The hidden ways control fuels anxiety and overwhelm, and how loosening our grip can make parenting easier.
- The power of flexibility in parenting, and why giving yourself permission to adapt can be a game-changer.
- What to do when you reach a stage of your child’s development that you simply don’t enjoy.
- The key support systems to have in place before entering motherhood to make the transition smoother.
- The differences we’re seeing with millennial mothers from what has been considered norms of the past.
- How to know when the mom-guilt you feel is getting in the way of your parenting and strategies for challenging it.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling short of the motherhood ideal, this conversation is here to remind you: You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be you.
LEARN MORE ABOUT GAYANE:
https://www.therapywithgayane.com/
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca sympathize with this mom and reflects on how great it would be if we could choose our kid’s friends - but offer a mindset shift for why that actually wouldn’t be healthy.
- Who to turn to for support to help you determine what your best course of action might be.
- A statement you can say to your child that can help you begin to understand why they may be exhibiting more clingy behaviors.
- How to get to the root of your own anxieties and fears so you can determine what you might be projecting onto your kids versus what are actual issues they need support navigating.
- What to avoid saying to your child that may unintentionally cause them to pull away from you.
- A formula you can use (that works with children of all ages!) to help you know whether the questions you are asking your child will likely be helpful or may lead to increased pressure.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
When journalist and author Stephanie Foo was diagnosed with Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), she left her job and devoted herself to healing—a journey she chronicled in her bestselling memoir, What My Bones Know. Now, as a mother, she’s navigating what it means to parent with complex trauma, balancing the high-alert nervous system that comes with C-PTSD while trying to stay present for her child.
In this powerful conversation, Stephanie shares:
- The difference between PTSD and C-PTSD—and why relational healing is essential for many forms of trauma.
- How motherhood reshapes the brain and why it can trigger fight-or-flight responses.
- The unique challenges of rupture and repair with a child versus an adult.
- Why parents with complex trauma may struggle with isolation and finding a supportive community can be so helpful.
- The strategies that have helped Stephanie most, all of which are useful for any parent, with or without trauma.
If you’ve ever felt like parenting is unearthing deep, unresolved parts of yourself, this episode offers both insight and hope.
LEARN MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE:
READ STEPHANIE'S BOOK:
📚 What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 186. Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca debate whether mom-guilt is inherent to all mothers or a societally structured construct (Spoiler: Dr. Rebecca wins this battle!)
- The critical distinction between distress and guilt and why one can be a destructive grenade in parenting.
- Releasing guilt is a form of activism - we're explaining why.
- How to course correct once you’ve noticed you’re parenting from a space of guilt.
- The question to ask yourself that can help guide your behaviors as a parent that come from a place of attunement and trust, rather than guilt or fear.
- Using a “values-driven” distinction to help you determine the root reasons you are making certain decisions, and how bringing this into your consciousness can be helpful.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing working parent guilt with Daisy Dowling
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Girls are often sent messages that can leave them feeling unseen, unheard, and boxed in by societal expectations. How can we as parents help them challenge these limiting narratives and grow into their full potential?
In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein to explore:
- How societal norms shape girls’ self-perception, from the “pink frilly dress” phase to body image struggles in their teens.
- Research statistics that will blow your mind on everything from when gender bias begins, how widespread it is, and its impact on everything from what parents Google to how often girls and boys are called on in school.
- How to examine and confront the gender stereotypes we unknowingly pass on to our kids when so much of it is unconscious.
- Practical strategies to help kids understand and navigate the societal messages they encounter. Including a simple yet powerful hack for challenging gender roles when reading children’s books.
- Actionable advice for fostering resilience and confidence in girls, as well as how to teach boys to work alongside girls to combat toxic masculinity.
If you want to help your kids break free from limiting narratives and thrive as their authentic selves, this episode is a must-listen!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JO-ANN:
https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/
READ DR. JO-ANN'S BOOK:
📚 Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World
JOIN JO-ANN'S SUBSTACK:
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱@joannfinkelstein.phd @joannfinkelstein.phd
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Exactly when we’d recommend you tell your child that you're pregnant.
- Why it’s important to help your child make sense of what is happening in their life—and the conclusions they can jump to if we don’t share things (in a developmentally appropriate manner) with them.
- A conversation starter and basic script you can use to introduce this concept to your young child.
- How these dynamics can change depending on if it’s the second, third, or fourth baby you’re welcoming.
- The types of topics you want to try to cover (and which ones to try to avoid) when you first tell your child you are pregnant.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going from one to two with Lindsay Ellingson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement during pregnancy and beyond with Dr. Megan Roche
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Grief isn’t something we get over—it’s something we integrate. Joining me to discuss this and the best way to support children through profound loss is Dr. Dan Wolfson, a clinical psychologist specializing in grief.
In this episode we explore:
- The skills needed for fostering resilience and helping children and adults learn to grieve in a healthy manner.
- The importance of “oscillation” through grief and how Dr. Dan works with his patients to help them learn to process their feelings without these emotions completely overtaking them.
- How to help determine when and how it’s time for your child (or you) to go back to things like extracurricular activities, birthday parties, and other “normal” ways of reengaging with life.
- Parents are often hesitant to show their own grief to their children, however, this can be a helpful form of modeling. We discuss appropriate ways to share your emotions with your child.
- Typical behaviors and regressions we often see in children who are processing profound sadness and difficult emotions, so you know what to be on the lookout for.
If you or your child are navigating profound loss, this conversation is here to remind you that healing isn’t linear, and you don’t have to do it alone.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN:
https://www.wolfsontherapy.com/danwolfson
LEARN MORE ABOUT EXPERIENCE CAMPS:
https://experiencecamps.org/about-us
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 70. Helping children process, accept and understand death with death doula Heather Hogan
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise?
- Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this.
- What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group.
- How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly.
- “There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'"
- Understanding “social currency” and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Do you know the signs of postpartum depression? Many parents (and even medical professionals) often miss diagnosing new mothers with a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Here to help shed light on this important topic is Board-Certified OB/GYN and author of the upcoming book, Then Comes Baby, Dr. Jessica Vernon.
In this episode we explore:
- Why postpartum mental health conditions are so often overlooked—even in medical training.
- The types of questions Dr. Jessica started asking her prenatal and postpartum patients that allowed them the space to open up and reveal the struggles they were experiencing.
- How the 6-week check-in after birth become the standard practice and what birthing people can expect of their bodies and minds at the 6-week mark.
- Why women experiencing mental health struggles in postpartum are so prone to feelings of guilt and shame - even though there is no difference between medical risks and mental health risks, as a society we tend to attach more shame to mental health challenges.
- What is matrescence and how is it revolutionizing the way we view early motherhood.
- Managing our expectations with the realization that reality and our fantasies often don’t match up and how that can cause struggles - from birth, to feeding, postpartum, and early parenthood.
- Free moms groups, books, and other resources for expecting and new parents.
Whether you’re pregnant, newly postpartum, or a professional working with new parents, this episode offers essential insights into how we can improve postpartum care and support maternal mental health.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA:
https://www.drjessicavernon.com/
PRE-ORDER DR. JESSICA'S BOOK:
ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL?
Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱 @dr.jessicavernon, Jessica Vernon, Jessica Vernon, MD, FACOG, PMH-C
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚 Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America
📚 Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood
✨ Postpartum Support International
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond
🎧 How to lighten the load in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Sterling
🎧 A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Even if we aren’t adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this?
- Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it’s supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety.
- The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it.
- Saying grades don’t matter is like saying, “throw your sense of control out the window.” What to say instead.
- Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism?
- We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today.
WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT?
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, is here to explore just that!
In this episode, we cover it all:
- How does codependency fit into the attachment system?
- Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some of the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant, and the other is more anxious.
- Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we see the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction.
- The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both!
- A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response, and helps them stay engaged in the conversation more successfully.)
Whether you’re struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA:
https://www.alanacarvalho.com/
TAKE THE QUIZ:
https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/
READ ALANA'S BOOK:
📚 Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views.
- How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system.
- How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure.
- Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids?
- When it’s best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it’s necessary to hold firm boundaries.
- Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier.
In this episode, we explore:
- Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connection—and how parents who don’t naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like.
- What are “Bubble Moments,” and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child?
- How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills.
- The science behind a “sing-song” voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child.
- How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent.
Whether you’re looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won’t want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED:
READ VERED'S NEW BOOK:
📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together
LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- What does it mean to be “nesting” during a divorce?
- What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family.
- What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!)
- How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you’ve decided to nest with your ex or not.
- A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they’re also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents.
In this episode we explore:
- The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers.
- The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment.
- Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more!
- How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry.
- Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead.
- The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our “mama bear” instincts are triggered.
Whether you’re trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI:
READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK:
📚 Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
Research Study: Why are siblings so different?
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience?
- Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention.
- When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it’s okay to ignore their request.
- How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.)
- How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you
🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What role do early attachment relationships play in shaping who we become? In this episode, Dr. Alan Sroufe, a pioneering researcher in attachment, shares decades of insights from his groundbreaking longitudinal study.
Together we explore:
- How Dr. Sroufe’s research answered the question: Do early experiences leave a lasting legacy?
- Why resilience isn’t just about thriving in the face of adversity, but is deeply rooted in the strength of attachment relationships.
- The importance of early relationships in helping children develop a sense of safety, positive self-worth, and durable relationships.
- A hopeful message that attachment isn't fixed and that secure relationships in adolescence and adulthood can change developmental trajectories, even after challenging childhoods.
- Why the quality, not quantity, of time with your child matters most (and what babies can teach us about connection).
- How parents can help shape the meaning children make of their world and guide them through challenges with empathy.
Dr. Sroufe’s work shows that while early experiences are never erased, they’re always building blocks for growth—and recovery is always possible.
READ THE BOOK DR. ALAN'S RECOMMENDS PARENTS START WITH:
📚 A Compelling Idea: How We Become the Persons We Are
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR PARENTING SENSITIVE CHILDREN:
👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- It can be tricky to maintain relationships when you’re in different stages of life from your friends and it’s common for some to atrophy after you become a parent.
- Unpacking all the feelings you may have about this: fear, guilt, grief, and more!
- Practical strategies for creating a simple routine that is easy for you to maintain, but will also allow you to keep these relationships from going too long without any checkins.
- When you are changed by motherhood, you may slip into black-and-white thinking with regard to your friendships. We offer you a perspective shift you can use to challenge that.
- How to check in with yourself so you can understand the root of your desires for connection, which will help you create realistic anchors that will actually meet your needs.
- Time management and scheduling hacks that can help you be intentional about protecting the time you do have.
- How to repair bonds with friends who may feel hurt, slighted, or abandoned by you.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of “mom-rage” with Diana Winston
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about identifying and managing your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance with Chelsi Jo
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about overcoming parental burnout
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Discover how maternal mental health care is evolving and why specialized support is critical for mothers with Paige Bellenbaum, LCSW, PMH-C and Rebecca Geshuri, LMFT, PMH-C.
In this episode we explore:
- What dyadic work is and how this can be especially beneficial for mothers and birthing people for developing a bond with their child.
- How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can support mothers in addressing their inner “mom parts” that contribute to feelings of failure and overwhelm.
- How polarized parts and perfectionism can create distress in motherhood and how embracing a “both-and” mentality can offer relief and self-compassion.
- The questions to ask when looking for a provider to ensure they’re trained in maternal mental health and understand the complexities of this life stage.
- Why it's so important for pediatricians, OBGYNs, or anyone who often comes into contact with birthing parents to have even a basic understanding of this transformative experience.
Whether you’re a mother seeking support, a professional working with birthing parents, or simply someone invested in breaking the stigma around mental health and motherhood, this episode is filled with practical insights you won't want to miss.
REGISTER FOR THE TRAINING ON FEB. 27:
Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for this 3-hour workshop designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERHOOD CENTER:
https://themotherhoodcenter.com/
LEARN MORE ABOUT REBECCA:
https://www.rebeccageshurilmft.com/get-to-know-me
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
LISTEN TO PAIGE & REBECCA'S PAST EPISODES:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- How to best approach daycare transitions and is there a right or a wrong answer to this question?
- The most important questions to ask yourself to determine which of these scenarios will be easiest for your unique child.
- Is it better to have a single, potentially steeper transition or a slower, more incremental transition?
- The key things to consider (like sleep habits, separation anxiety, etc.) to help you determine which is best for your individual situation.
- Zooming out to see how this change will impact the entire family system and adding these factors into your decision making process.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Transitioning to a new daycare
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping child with separation anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about being a working parent with Daisy Dowling
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Neha Ruch is sharing strategies for embracing flexibility as you balance, shift, and grow in both your career and parenthood.
In this episode we explore:
- How to redefine what “career” means to you at this stage of life and navigate the evolving roles of being a working or stay-at-home parent.
- Why downshifting your career can be a valuable smaller step if you're not ready to take a full pause.
- Preparing for this transition to feel less overwhelming—emotionally, financially, and in terms of your shifting identity.
- Supporting women in feeling validated and respected in their choices to dial up or down in their careers.
- How motherhood can be a time to foster creativity and the importance of staying connected to what brings you joy—whether it's for work or personal fulfillment.
- A good first step for moms who don’t know where to begin in making this shift.
- What a “family administration” meeting is and how to evaluate what’s working and what’s not—giving yourself permission to let go of what isn’t serving you.
Don't miss this episode that will help you redefine what career means to you!
LEARN MORE ABOUT NEHA:
https://www.motheruntitled.com/
READ NEHA'S NEW BOOK:
📚 The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to Neha's first Securely Attached episode, Redefining what it means to be a stay-at-home parent with Neha Ruch
📱 I sang my sister’s praise in this episode! Check out @mychicnest to follow along with her interior design account.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Unpacking your own feelings about swearing (or any undesirable behaviors) your child is engaging in.
- How to teach your child to attune to their environment and know when and where certain behaviors are appropriate and when and where they are not.
- Zooming out to identify what your child’s intention is when they are swearing (to test boundaries, in anger, in silly moments, etc.) to help you know how to respond.
- When and how to use strategies that have the greatest likelihood of getting this behavior to stop.
- A playful script that can defuse the tension and keep you from feeling triggered.
- The big differences to the approaches you may want to try based on who is the recipient of inappropriate or hurtful language.
- How to get your children to disengage from each other’s negative behaviors, instead of being fueled by each other.
- How Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily handle swearing in their own homes with their kids.
- The benefits of swearing that may surprise you.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate themselves
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate you
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about enforcing consequences that teach
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
A deep dive on combating parental burnout to start off 2025 with more balance.
In this episode I dive deep into…
- Understanding what parental burnout actually is and how it is different from regular “stress” in parenthood?
- The pros and cons of the rise of the “Parenting Industrial Complex.”
- The output/input formula that will inevitably lead to depletion, and why parents of sensitive children are more susceptible to an imbalance in this equation.
- An exercise you can use to address (and flip!) your personal output/input equation to create more balance for yourself.
- Taking a Family-Systems approach to addressing and treating parental burnout.
- How parental burnout can impact the parent-child relationship, leading to more dysregulated behaviors from our kids, us losing our cool, and creating a self-perpetuating negative feedback loop.
- Why traditional self-care strategies don’t work for combatting parental burnout, and my recommendations for practical, realistic, and attainable strategies that actually do!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH BREN:
FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
The Surgeon General Report: Parental Mental Health & Well-Being
In one study, Parents whose children experienced anxiety or ADHD had two to four times higher risk of experiencing parental burnout (anxiety: OR, 2.54; ADHD: OR, 4.41) compared with those whose children had no anxiety or ADHD. [1]
Addressing systemic problems with Raena Boston, Lauren Smith Brody, and Alexis Barad-Cutler
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Translating the question: I don’t want a sibling may actually just mean, “I miss you.”
- Zooming back to assess the environmental factors that may be taxing your child, especially when there are a lot of transitions and changes going on.
- How to change the narrative in your young child’s mind so they don’t associate losing quality time with Mommy and Daddy to having more siblings.
- When to simply validate your child’s feelings and when to know if it’s time to try to make some changes.
- A script of exactly what you can say to help your child feel more contained and regulated in these moments.
- Why helping your child feel seen in the moment can foster their secure attachment, which may end up indirectly solving the problems you're experiencing.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment and growth mindset with Melinda Wenner Moyer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether it's bad to "baby" the baby
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Discover how to use the power of play to strengthen your child’s emotional regulation and foster meaningful connection, with Dr. Abbré McClain and Dr. Jacqueline Salazar.
In this episode, we explore:
- How play and relationships can be foundational elements for teaching kids emotional regulation skills.
- Why coregulation doesn’t have to be so serious and can be employed through play and playfulness.
- The therapeutic function of play interventions and how they work in play therapy.
- How to adapt play strategies for different developmental stages and unique children.
- Why playing with your kids is different from entertaining them, and how child-led play can be less exhausting for parents.
- Quality over quantity: How even small moments of playfulness can make a big difference in strengthening parent-child bonds.
If you’re looking for practical ways to build emotional regulation skills while bringing more joy and connection into your family’s life, this episode is filled with actionable insights to get you started!
LEARN MORE ABOUT:
READ THEIR BOOK:
📚 The Self-Regulation Workbook for 3- to 5-Year-Olds: Play-Based and Creative Activities to Build Coping Skills and Handle Big Emotions
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Breaking down the different strategies you’d use with kids whether this is a single one-off big fight, or if conflict is more prevalent in your home.
- What a conversation with your child might sound like and how to adapt it to be most authentic to you.
- Specific things to do in order to lessen the negative impact of parental conflict on your kids.
- How to help your child make sense of what happened in a narrative that allows them to understand they are safe and the fight wasn’t their fault.
- A developmentally appropriate way to share with your child that sometimes the people we love the most are the ones that we get into the biggest arguments with.
- How to reassure and repair with a baby ore very young child who is still too little to understand your words.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about creating a thriving partnership with Dr. Suzanne Burger
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about resolving conflicts with Dr. Rick Hanson
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Discover the impacts of EdTech in schools and how parents can advocate for their children’s education with technology attorney Andy Liddell
- What EdTech is and how technology like iPads and Chromebooks are being integrated into classrooms.
- The hidden dangers of screens on the learning experience, what is at risk when hands-on learning is replaced by more passive educational experiences, and how to optimize information retention, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills.
- The role of big tech in surveillance capitalism, persuasive design, and selling children’s data.
- How much control do schools have over blocking and restricting content on school-issued devices? (Spoiler: Most technology comes with no restrictions in place.)
- How tech in classrooms is displacing social interactions, interfering with relationship development, overstimulating vulnerable children, and putting stress on an already fragile system.
- What parents can do to teach media literacy, advocate for their child’s privacy, and push for more thoughtful use of technology in schools
If you’re concerned or just curious about the influence of technology on your child’s learning and development, this conversation is packed with strategies and insights to help you navigate these challenges with confidence and purpose.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ANDY & EDTECH LAW CENTER:
REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
Read the research on EdTech conducted by Jared Cooney Horvath, PhD, MEd
Social Studies Documentary
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Bullying is often an expression of pain, so leading with compassion for your child is often your best entry point.
- How to readjust your goal, rather than just trying to shut down your child's behaviors, for a higher likelihood of getting through to them.
- Examples of real-life scenarios that middle school girls may be experiencing and how to navigate them.
- The most common reasons middle schoolers act this way, so you can help you identify what the root cause may be to help you get to the heart of the matter.
- Conversation starters you can use to prevent your child from getting defensive and shutting down.
- At some point, this moves beyond exploring your child’s feelings and these behaviors simply need to stop - when and how to transition to this point.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in toddlerhood
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to talk to your teen with Elizabeth Bennett
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Motherhood comes with immense challenges, but when mothers come together, they can spark transformative change. In this inspiring episode, Erin Erenberg, founder of Totum Women and co-founder of the Chamber of Mothers, shares her journey becoming a powerful advocate for maternal rights.
In this episode, we explore:
- Erin's personal and professional journey that inspired her to empower and support mothers.
- The Chamber of Mothers mission: Uniting mothers as advocates to create a better America.
- How this bipartisan group is working to include "point of view diversity" and bridge mothers across all sides of the aisle.
- How the Chamber of Mothers plans to work with the upcoming administration to continue fighting for the rights of all mothers in America.
- What is galvanizing the people who are still motivated, and how to fight any feelings of dread people may be experiencing.
- Strategies for accessing accurate information and taking care of ourselves in an overwhelming time of political divide.
Learn how to join a movement that’s not only advocating for mothers but creating a brighter future for the next generation!
LEARN MORE ABOUT ERIN ERENBERG:
https://www.totumwomen.com/blogs/news/more-on-our-founder
LEARN MORE ABOUT CHAMBER OF MOTHERS:
JOIN A LOCAL CHAMBER:
https://chamberofmothers.com/local-chapters/
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
Chamber of Mothers: @chamberofmothers
Dr. Sarah Bren: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
Moms Demand Action - https://momsdemandaction.org/
Vote Mama - https://www.votemama.org/
National Women’s Law Center - https://nwlc.org/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Dysregulation isn't just a result of negative emotions, kids can also become dysregulated from positive emotions too.
- Embracing your child’s excitement before you help them start to down-regulate can be a more successful (and fun) strategy.
- Specific strategies for transitioning your child from those big, exciting moments into calming down in a way that is targeted to their development and nervous system.
- The key questions to ask yourself to help you determine exactly how to pick and choose your parenting battles when it comes to family gatherings.
- The difference between structured and unstructured playtime - and the pros and cons of each.
- Our mom-tips for an activity that is helpful and containing for kids who have “buzzy energy” in these situations.
- How to “pre-regulate” your child before they become dysregulated.
REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 How do I stop my child from picking up his friend’s bad behaviors?
🎧 Why are birthday parties so hard for my kid?
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dyregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me today is Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown to share the science behind why sleep is so essential, how to adapt sleep strategies for those with neurodiverse brains, and practical tips for tackling common sleep challenges.
In this episode, we explore:
- The science of why sleep is so important and foundational for children (spoiler: it’s tied to growth, brain development, immune system regulation, emotion management, and more!)
- The inadvertent mistake many parents make (that even Dr. Funke made with her own son) when they don’t properly understand the different phases of childhood sleep.
- What the research reveals about the sleep architecture and the quality of sleep for kids with neurodiverse brains. (And why it’s not just about quantity.)
- Behavioral cues and environmental strategies you can use to shift your child’s circadian rhythm.
- Why “catching up on sleep” during the weekend actually works against your child.
- Breaking down the R.I.S.E. U.P. Protocol to help both kids and parents wake up easier and stop feeling the urge to hit snooze one more time.
- The association of ADHD with mouth breathing during sleep and whether or not you should consider physical therapy for mouth breathers.
- When you may want to consider getting a sleep evaluation for your child and what you can expect from a sleep test.
Don’t miss this deep dive into the science of sleep, actionable tips for better rest, and strategies to help your whole family thrive!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. FUNKE:
https://www.therestfulsleepplace.com/
READ DR. FUNKE'S BOOK:
📚 Beyond Tired: A Sleep Physician’s Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good
WATCH DR. FUNKE'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@restfulsleepmd and @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
The sunrise clock Dr. Sarah uses to make waking up easier for her
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to make mindfulness more “user-friendly” for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- A quick breakdown of Baumrind’s 4 parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful.
- How to use “high love and high limits” as your compass for helping you know how to raise healthy kids.
- Why the pattern so many parents find themselves in is:
authoritative ➡️ permissive ➡️ authoritarian (and how to break this cycle!)
- Knowing the difference between being permissive and making a conscious and intentional choice not to pick this battle.
- The subtle shift in how you frame an intentional pivot to your child so your actions are still authoritative when you are “giving in.”
- How to change your mind without teaching your child that they can get you to cave and that your limits are unreliable.
- When your child refuses to take a bath, brush their teeth, wants more water after bedtime, and asks for candy before breakfast - how to be authoritative in all of these situations.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid?
🎧 How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan
🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman is here to shed light on the facts surrounding vaccines and address common concerns and questions she hears most often from parents in her practice, like:
- Does the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine cause autism? (Spoiler: No, vaccines do not cause autism.)
- Do I need to vaccinate my child based on my pediatrician’s suggested schedule?
- What are the risks of stopping administering vaccines to children?
- If vaccines are so good, why don’t we have them for more things, like the common cold?
- Is it really necessary to get a flu shot every year?
- Are people given the actual disease when they get a vaccine? If so, then why not just get the illness itself and let my immune system learn to fight it?
- Should you give your baby Tylenol before a vaccine so the shot hurts less?
If you’ve ever had questions or felt unsure about vaccines, this episode is packed with helpful, expert-driven insights. Dr. Gilman’s thoughtful, research-backed approach is sure to leave you feeling more informed and empowered!
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to ease your childs anxiety for doctors visits with pediatrician Dr. Rachel Geronemus
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- How to incorporate the parenting knowledge you’ve acquired without losing sight of your own gut instincts.
- Understanding what your job as a parent is when your child feels thwarted (and why making them stop yelling might not be your true end goal)
- Unpacking the underlying question of: What do I do if my child is screaming volitionally as a manipulation tactic?
- Whether your child is in a full-blown tantrum or just slightly dysregulated, the key strategies for addressing their underlying struggle.
- How to respond to the behaviors (like yelling, eating, spitting, etc.) that you have no true control over.
- How to find that middle space between not making your child feel responsible for your feelings without having to abandon all your own needs.
👉🏻 GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:
Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.
📚 READ Rebecca's book on managing your child's tantrums, The Tantrum Survival Guide
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DYSREGULATION:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a "threenager"
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a step-by-step guide for changing your child's behavior
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Kim Mishkin is here to shed light on Project-Based Learning, an education model that encourages kids to explore, problem-solve, and collaborate in ways that tap into their natural curiosity and interests.
In this episode we explore:
- What Project-Based Learning (PBL) is and how it differs from the standard American education model.
- The origins of the PBL model and what current research reveals about its efficacy for educating kids?
- Why allowing children to help shape the direction of their curriculum reinforces their motivation to learn and fosters curiosity.
- How core academic subjects like reading, writing, and math are covered with a PBL approach.
- Will kids who have been educated in a PBL elementary and middle-school be able to successfully transition to a standard American academic high-school or college environment?
- Ways parents can integrate elements of the PBL approach into everyday life, helping to build critical thinking and curiosity in their children, even outside a PBL school.
If you’re curious about alternative education models or looking for ways to inspire a love of learning in your child, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT HUDSON LAB SCHOOL:
https://www.hudsonlabschool.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 PBL Works
📚 Project Based Learning (PBL) Starter Kit
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Is it developmentally appropriate for my 3-year-old to start to mimic their friends' behaviors?
- How to approach differences when our kid’s friends or our family friends have different rules and limits than we do.
- A conversation you can have with your child after they spend time with their friend and you start to see behaviors that you do not allow in your house - and how these can lead to larger conversations about peer pressure as they get older.
- Zooming back to determine what your larger goals are will help you know what to focus on and what to let go of.
- If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I get my kid to listen to me, especially in a highly exciting situation?” we’ll give you a precursor that you may be skipping that could help!
- Dr. Rebecca shares her #1 golden rule of all child playdates.
- Dr. Sarah shares her 4 S’s for how to make playdates most successful.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using consequences intended teach, not punish your child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.
Tune in to hear:
- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life’s ups and downs.
- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.
- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.
- How attachment affects a child’s development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.
This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?
Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:
FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Unpacking what you consider to be a “chore” versus what is just an expectation of your child as a member of the household.
- How do you teach your child to do chores (and why you may need to remind them to do it over and over and over again!)
- At what age is it appropriate to expect your child to be able to accomplish tasks like chores?
- How to take advantage of routines when it comes to setting expectations and creating habits with your child.
- Being intentional about looking for opportunities where your child can help out that are aligned with your family values.
- Will giving chores decrease your child’s intrinsic motivation? (And why it’s not so black and white)
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about unlocking motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that busts positive parenting myths with Tracy Gillett
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Get science-backed strategies to raise kids who are compassionate, kind, and successful in today’s chaotic world with Melinda Wenner Moyer.
In this episode, we explore:
- How becoming a parent shifted Melinda’s attention to applying science and research to answer her most pressing parenting questions
- One of the most surprising and counterintuitive things Melinda learned when she started to dig into the research on parenting.
- How to approach challenging topics, like race, authentically and in age-appropriate ways without needing a “script.”
- Diving into Carol Dweck’s research study using fixed vs growth mindset language with kids and how it affected their perseverance (Spoiler: Kids who were given fixed mindset messaging showed less resilience.)
- Why kids lie, the best ways we can respond when they do, and how this can impact how likely they are to be open with us as they get older.
- How attachment security impacts our kid’s ability to be confident, curious, flexible, and compassionate
If you’re looking to raise kind, resilient kids who feel safe being honest with you, this conversation is filled with insights to help you make that happen!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MELINDA:
https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/
READ MELINDA'S BOOKS:
📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times
JOIN MELINDA'S SUBSTACK:
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@melindawmoyer and @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE:
Read more about Carol Dweck
Watch the Instagram reel we talk about: Teaching my boomer mom about gentle parenting
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Unpacking what “shy” really means and exploring the space between shyness and social anxiety.
- When to encourage your child and push them out of their comfort zone versus when it's better to respect their boundaries.
- Thinking of shyness as a feeling and not a character trait - plus a script for how to articulate that distinction to your child.
- Why young children may act more shy around other kids, especially in environments like a playground.
- The different levels of support you can use to stretch your child with specific real-world examples of how this may sound and play out.
- Saying hello is a common struggle many “shy kids” face. We're discussing whether or not you should force them to say hello.
- Different parenting approaches and strategies to try based on your child’s age.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties may be challenging for your child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we're talking about how mindfulness can reduce symptoms of ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska.
In this episode we explore:
- Does having ADHD make it harder to engage in mindfulness and meditation practices? (Spoiler: Yes, but there are things we can do about that!)
- What the research reveals about mindfulness in teens and adults with ADHD and the science of how a mindfulness practice strengthens neurological deficits in the brain.
- Parenthood requires so much executive functioning, sensory stimulation, and stress, so often this is when the strategies we’ve been using to manage symptoms of ADHD fall apart.
- Concrete strategies, like the best time of day, introducing aspects of physicality, and logistical considerations for how to incorporate mindfulness practice into your life when sitting still feels too difficult or daunting.
- Tips for identifying what helps you personally feel less flooded that can serve as your go-to’s when things start to feel scattered, stuck, or overwhelming.
- The importance of self-compassion in mindfulness and how this is an often overlooked, yet key piece of mindfulness practices.
If you're curious about how mindfulness can make a real difference for those with ADHD, this episode is a must-listen!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LIDIA:
READ LIDIA'S BOOKS:
📚 Mindfulness for Adult ADHD: A Clinician's Guide
WATCH LIDIA'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 ADDitude
👉🏻 Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)
👉🏻 Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA)
GET MORE SUPPORT:
👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com if you're interested in resources for you or your child with ADHD, including individual, group, parenting support, and neuropsychological evaluation services tailored to your unique needs.
CHECK ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- What are the advantages of telehealth appointments and the ability to do virtual sessions from anywhere.
- Do the full range of emotions and subtle nuances get lost when you’re talking through a screen? (Spoiler: Our brains fill in so much it often feels like we’re in the same room.)
- What to consider to determine if virtual therapy may not be the best option for you.
- The different levels of interventions and the types of support that can match up with each.
- If you are doing virtual therapy, how to maximize the experience and specific strategies to implement to make your sessions most effective.
- What is the difference between therapy and mental health coaching and what are the different rules for each based on the state you live in.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring our therapy and coaching support services, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about newborn sleep with Greer Kirshenbaum
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going back to work after maternity leave with Lauren Smith Brody
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Here to talk about the unique challenges that come from pregnancy and postpartum with multiples is the founder of Gold Coast Doulas, Kristin Revere.
In this episode we explore:
- What exactly is a doula and how can doulas be helpful for expecting and postpartum parents, especially for those with multiples?
- Understanding the emotional, physical, and logistical stress associated with having twins or triplets.
- Resources that are available and insurance coverage options broken down for those seeking access to doula care (whether you're having one baby or more).
- A framework—including the most important questions to ask—when looking for a doula that can meet your family's unique needs and best support you.
- The difference between a night nurse and a postpartum doula and what to consider to determine what type of care would be best for your family.
- Baby registry tips, postpartum strategies, and what an average day with a doula supporting multiples may look like.
If you've ever wondered what a doula does and how they can help, especially if you're expecting multiples, this conversation is for you!
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTIN & GOLD COAST DOULAS:
https://www.goldcoastdoulas.com/
READ HER BOOK:
📚 Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby by Kristin Revere and Alyssa Veneklase
LISTEN TO HER PODCAST:
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
Fertility, birth, and postpartum insurance and care resources:
- Carrot
- Progyny
- Maven
- Tricare
🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist
💻 WATCH my free workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!
👉🏻 JOIN ME in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer
🎧 Beyond postpartum depression: A breakdown of all PMADs
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Dr. Rebecca shares how she made the decision of whether or not to send her own two children to sleep-away camp. (Spoiler: She chose to send her older child, not her younger son.)
- The logistical and financial pointers to think of that can potentially buy you some extra time to make this decision.
- Is it better to send them when they’re not ready, or hold them back for a year and risk the potential consequences? Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca share what they suggest parents do if you’re on the fence.
- The developmental milestones and skills you want to look for to help you decide if your kid may be ready for camp.
- Should you send your kid to sleep-away camp? It all boils down to a simple-single answer (a Beyond the Sessions first!)
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Join me for an inspiring conversation with Lauren Smith Brody, author and founder of The Fifth Trimester, as we explore the realities and challenges of being a working parent.
In this episode we discuss:
- The one thing that Lauren has observed to most galvanize people to stand up for their needs and their family's needs in the workplace.
- Dr. Sarah shares the oh-so-relatable working-mom struggle that led her to be 8 months pregnant, crying alone in a coffee shop.
- How to step back and identify if the “rules” aren’t working for you and how you can start to feel more empowered to break them (even when it’s hard!)
- A simple strategy for making it easier for your work to say yes to your requests (Hint: The first step is understanding why it’s an economically good decision for your boss to make the accommodations you’re requesting.)
- What a small business owner can do to support working parents when they don’t necessarily have the financial resources to do all the big-ticket items they wish they could.
- How employers can help their teams “resentment-proof” their career and their lives with solutions for the future.
Tune in for a conversation packed with insights on how to empower working moms and transform workplace culture!
LEARN MORE ABOUT LAUREN SMITH BRODY:
https://www.thefifthtrimester.com/
READ LAUREN'S BOOK:
📚 The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom's Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success After Baby
LEARN MORE ABOUT CHAMBER OF MOTHERS:
VOTE LIKE A MOTHER:
https://chamberofmothers.com/vote-like-a-mother/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with fellow Chamber of Mothers member Alexis Barad-Cutler
🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with fellow Chamber of Mothers member Raena Boston
📚 READ The R.O.I. of Caregiving Benefits white paper
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- What are the barriers we are grappling with as a society in terms of parental mental health?
- The energy, resolve, and 'all-emcompassingness' of parenthood has long been ignored and undervalued in our society.
- Is it okay for moms to make themselves a priority, even over the long list of your child’s needs? - Our answer may (but hopefully won’t) surprise you.
- Is the “parenting industrial complex” causing parents to feel more shame, fear, and dependency?
- How to tune into your instinct and feel empowered knowing you’re the expert on your own kid.
- Getting through the misinformation and noise to help you take some of the pressure off your shoulders.
- What parents (and everyone) can do to support parental mental health!
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 U.S. Surgeon General Issues Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Join me for a deep dive into the essential aspects of emotional regulation in parenting with clinical psychologist, Dr. Amber Thornton.
In this episode we explore:
- Cognitive, emotional, physical, and physiological regulation - the differences between all four and how this knowledge can help you feel more grounded.
- Dr. Amber shares her PCR Method that parents can use to identify and manage their own dysregulation.
- How to understand your parenting triggers (because we all have them!) so you can use more effective strategies tailored to your unique nervous system.
- Gain practical approaches for reparenting yourself to meet the needs of your younger self.
- Why being an imperfect parent is actually beneficial, and even optimal, for your child’s development!
- How understanding the scientific principles of attachment theory can help reduce fear and lower the stakes we feel in parenthood.
Discover practical strategies to help you navigate the challenges of parenthood while fostering a healthier connection with your children.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. AMBER:
https://www.dramberthornton.com/
READ DR. AMBER'S BOOK:
WATCH DR. AMBER ON YOUTUBE:
💻 https://www.youtube.com/@dramberthornton
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- What is a phobia, and how can it show up (like, for this 7-year-old who developed a fear of vomiting after having a stomach bug) in kids?
- How to recognize when your child’s phobia or anxiety might require additional support versus when soothing and comfort may be enough to help them through their discomfort.
- When to treat child anxiety or phobias with CBT and when to use a SPACE approach - and how to determine the best fit for your child.
- What a supportive statement is and how it can be a powerful first step to helping your child manage their fears (plus, why mastering it can mean your job as a parent is done!)
- A counterintuitive approach: how reframing our own responsibility to focus on our responses and behaviors rather than trying to change our child’s behavior can take a huge weight and pressure off a parent's shoulders.
- The biggest mistake that Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily see parents make when they try to implement a SPACE approach - and how to avoid this pitfall.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring support options for your child's anxiety, including SPACE small groups and one-on-one interventions, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CHILDHOOD ANXIETY:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using SPACE to treat ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating your child's anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
After the birth of her daughter, Catherine Price noticed a disconnect—her baby was looking up at her, while she was looking down at her phone. This sparked her interest in understanding why our phones are so hard to put down, what that’s doing to our memory, creativity, and overall lived experience, and how we can break free from the grip of technology to live more intentional lives.
In this episode we explore:
- Catherine’s definition of fun: The overlapping of playfulness, connection, and flow. Plus, how understanding each can help us experience genuine fun that refills our buckets.
- When our jobs don’t have a clear start time and end time, it can become addicting to staying connected 24/7. Tune in for specific strategies to intentionally combat this.
- Catherine coaches Dr. Sarah through the relatable struggles she and so many parents experience when attempting to put down the phone (Sneak peek: it’s taken her 6 months to plug in the alarm clock she bought instead of using her phone next to her bed.)
- An easy first step people can take to cut the cord with their phone.
- Strategies for when and how to communicate with your kids about screen time (that don’t cause them to shut down or feel defensive). Plus, how to break down the process of getting your kid their first phone into smaller steps that usher them more gradually into the digital world.
- Setting appropriate tech boundaries that honor your family's values while also taking into consideration how much of kids’ social lives are facilitated through technology today.
Listen now for insights and actionable tips to help you free yourself from your screens to have more fun!
LEARN MORE ABOUT CATHERINE PRICE:
READ CATHERINE'S BOOKS:
📚 The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again
📚 How to Break Up with Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life
JOIN CATHERINE'S SUBSTACK:
📖 How to Feel Alive with Catherine Price
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE to sign up for Dr. Sarah's newsletter to find out if she is able to complete Catherine’s challenge to take her phone out of her bedroom for the weekend!
🤳 Opal - The app Dr. Sarah said she uses to help her manage her screen time.
📱 ScreenZen, Brick, and Unpluq- Products Catherine recommends to help people manage their screen use.
📺 Watch Diane Sawyer's ABC News report, Screen Time
📳 Pinwheel, Gabb, and Troomi - Kid and teen phones Catherine mentions in the episode.
📚 Read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt and the The New York Times essay, Gen Z Has Regrets by Jonathan Haidt and Will Johnson
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker
🎧 What are the do’s and don’t for introducing screens to my toddler?
🎧 Helping our children form a healthy relationship to technology with Emily Cherkin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Understanding the basics of your child's cognitive development can help inform what you do to soothe them when they have a hard time transitioning to daycare each morning.
- How important your own calm nervous system is for helping your child feel safe.
- What to do in the moment at drop off when your child is crying, struggling, or having a hard time settling in.
- What you can do outside the heat of the moment to build your child's ability to separate from you and relieve some of the stress surrounding going to daycare that they feel.
- What a warm handoff looks like and how you can work with the daycare providers to create an environment that makes it easier for your child to say goodbye.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Read my blog for helping your child transition to a new daycare
🎶 Listen with your child to the Daniel Tiger song, Grownups Come Back
🎧 Tune in to my podcast interview with Eileen Henry on getting toddlers to stay in their own bed at night
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Sterling, ObGyn and founder of Sterling Parents, dives deep into the complex relationship between stress, trauma, pregnancy, and birth.
In this episode we explore:
- The impact of stress and anxiety on fetal development and pregnancy outcomes.
- What birth trauma is, how frequently it occurs, and common symptoms people may feel (and may not even realize is trauma).
- Dr. Sterling shares her own deeply personal and inspiring experience struggling with and working to heal from the trauma she experienced after the birth of her first child.
- Why so many women downplay and minimize their symptoms, and how this can inadvertently be a block to their healing.
- Practical tips for what you can do during pregnancy to reduce the potential risk of experiencing birth trauma.
- Steps you can take immediately after birth, or even years later, to begin healing from trauma.
- You do not have one shot at having an empowering birth - how to make meaning of what happened to you so you can shift your birth trauma into a positive experience for yourself!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. STERLING:
https://sterlingparents.com/about-us/
JOIN DR. STERLING'S MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM:
https://sterlingparents.com/waitlist/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist
🎧 LISTEN to my first interview with Dr. Sterling about the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy and postpartum
🎧 LISTEN to an episode about using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PARENTING COACHING AND INDIVIDUAL THERAPY?
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring support options, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- The urge may be to talk your child out of thinking they're "dumb," but it can be helpful to stay with this feeling and lean into being curious about her experience.
- How to zoom out and determine if your child is speaking out of frustration and is just emoting or if they actually have internalized that they think they aren't smart.
- How to talk with your child in a way that helps build back their confidence in themself when they are struggling to learn something new, like reading.
- We also want to try not to catastrophize this situation either - just because your child is saying this doesn't mean they will permanently have a poor self-image.
- You can boost your child's self-confidence by feeling confident in their ability to handle the challenges they face.
- How to get clear with your kid about what they think "smart" and "dumb" means, and building flexibility around those ideas.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
📚 BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman
🎥 Inside Out and Inside Out 2
WANT TO LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES ON THIS TOPIC:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate myself"
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
How can you honor who your child is while still equipping them with the tools they need to thrive in our fast-paced world?
That's exactly what I'm talking about with my guest, McCourtney Professor of Child Studies and Professor of Psychology at Penn State, Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar.
In this episode, we dive into:
- What temperament actually is from a psychological standpoint (it’s probably not what you think it is!) and the factors professionals use to measure and map it out.
- What impact temperament has on the way sensitive, shy, or explosive children regulate their emotions and respond to their environment.
- How parents can create opportunities for their child to become self-actualized and why focusing on self-actualization is the precursor to helping them achieve and thrive.
- Inhibited versus exuberant - how finding the right niche for a child’s unique temperament can define their success, even if it doesn’t align with traditional expectations.
- How to find that middle ground between pushing your child when they need a bit of encouragement and nurturing them when they need more support and scaffolding.
Tune in for valuable insights that will help you navigate the complexities of parenting with more confidence and compassion!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. KORALY PÉREZ-EDGAR:
https://www.catlabpsu.com/our-team-1
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- How there is a lot of weight put on attending all the birthdays your child gets invited to, and hear us share a permission-granting reframe you can tell yourself when you feel that pressure.
- How to work toward identifying the aspect of birthday parties that are overwhelming for your child - and what the most common triggers are (like transitions, loud sounds, lots of kids) to help you get started.
- Why it actually makes sense that this is so hard for parents when kids struggle with birthday parties. What social stakes are at play, and how to balance those with what is best for your kid.
- How to celebrate the birthday boy or girl in a manner that is more realistic for your child, but that allows them to still feel included and fosters their peer relationships.
- What you can do before the birthday party to help prepare your child for what they can expect and how to navigate their dysregulation if they get overwhelmed once you're there.
- Two psychologist-mom's recommendations of exactly how to respond (when to nurture them and when to push them) when your child gets clingy at a birthday party.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS:
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
I'm joined by Dr. Vanessa Lapointe to discuss effective discipline strategies and how to approach those tough parenting moments with warmth, compassion, and understanding - for yourself and your child.
In this episode, we dive into:
- The profound impact of coregulation and why it's a crucial first step we don't want to skip if we want the discipline and lessons we're trying to teach our kids to stick.
- How to navigate those “bad behavior” moments by rethinking the entire framework of discipline (Spoiler Alert: It starts with a mindset shift to help you understand how there is actually no such thing as “bad" behaviors.)
- The up-side of having a more sensitive, reactive, or explosive kid - and how to nurture their more sensitive side to bring out their best qualities and help them manage their big emotions so they are more in control of their behaviors.
- The powerful role of connection in discipline, including how to create a safe space where your child can learn and grow, even in the midst of challenging behaviors.
- Strategies for parents struggling to keep their cool, working through feelings of guilt or shame, and understanding that it's never too late to implement new parenting approaches.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by traditional discipline methods or wondered how to discipline your child in a way that strengthens your bond, this episode is for you!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. VANESSA LAPOINTE:
https://drvanessalapointe.com/
READ DR. VANESSA'S BOOKS:
📚 Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up
📚 Parenting Right From the Start: Laying a Healthy Foundation in the Baby and Toddler Years
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT DISCIPLINE?
Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Who can assess, evaluate, and diagnose neuropsychological diagnosises like ADHD, dyslexia, autism, etc., and how to go about getting one for your child if you don’t have a formal diagnosis yet.
- The benefits of a comprehensive evaluation, when your child might not need such an in-depth approach, and how to determine which is right for your unique child.
- Navigating the school support system and what they are required to provide for you and your child after you make a formal request.
- The basic differences between an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) versus a 504 plan.
✨✨✨Want more details?: CLICK HERE to read a blog article that breaks this all down for you.✨✨✨
- What are soft-building services and how your child’s teacher can implement these tools to help your child thrive.
- It can be helpful for parents to work with an advocate in this process - this can reduce anxiety and to allow you to have a dedicated person with a deep understanding of this process and your child’s rights to advocate on their behalf.
- What to do when the recommendations from your child’s evaluation don’t correspond with the services your child’s school provides - and when to bring in a professional to help translate this jargon for you.
- Never apologize for advocating for your child! It can help you feel more comfortable and empowered to go into these meetings with action items and knowing what you’re asking for.
- Working to come together to create a collaborative environment with your school system, your child’s teachers, and your mental health professional.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring more personalized support options, reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a child with Autism with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Is your child explosive? Do you struggle to keep your own emotions in-check, then feel guilty after you lose your cool?
We're all working with the same equipment and understanding the basics of what is happening in our kid's brains and our own brains when we get dysregulated can have a huge impact on how often we're able to stay calm in the face of life's chaos.
I am honored to be joined once again by Dr. Dan Siegel to explore:
- The "window of tolerance" - what it is and how to use it to help you and your child stay grounded, even during stressful moments.
- Dan performs a visceral Yes/No Exercise that listeners can follow along with to become a more effective regulator of your own threat response.
- There is no such thing as being perfect, real secure attachment boils down to proper repair after you lose your cool. We cover the most effective strategies and tools for facilitating repair in your relationship with your child.
- Everyone has innate temperament and personality traits (like sensitivity, intensity of their reactions, and their response to novelty), but do those proclivities become intensified by our attachment relationships?
- How to apply these strategies to kids who don’t fit the mold - who are sensitive, explosive, neurodiverse, or quick to become dysregulated.
- Dan’s views as a psychiatrist on how medication and clinical interventions can be properly used with children.
- How to look at any diagnosis from the perspective of integration versus disintegration - and by looking at it this way, what that means for treatment.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN SIEGEL:
A FEW OF DAN'S BOOKS FOR PARENTS TO GET STARTED WITH:
📚 Parenting from the Inside Out
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 How to use mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
3:49 - How a child’s developmental ability to conceptualize time is different than adults’ and how this gets in the way of them sharing our sense of urgency.
6:58 - Kids often have trouble transitioning to things they don't want to do, we'll talk through strategies for helping them tolerate this better.
8:10 - The difference between a bribe and a positive reward, and when to use each.
10:45 - How integrating moments into the routine that promote autonomy and help your child feel a deeper sense of control can make a big difference.
12:25 - How Dr. Sarah adds elements of playfulness and gamification into the routine with her own kids.
18:55 - There is a huge tradeoff to our kid's mental health if they are obedient because they are are afraid of us - but that doesn't mean it wouldn't make parenting easier.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
⏰ Kids Visual Timer or Sand Timers to help your child learn about time
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child doesn't listen to you
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bribery
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, I’m sitting down with hostage and crisis negotiator Karleen Savage to share practical strategies to help you manage conflict and family dynamics.
In this episode, we explore:
Crisis Negotiation at Home: How to apply professional conflict resolution techniques to everyday parenting challenges.
Encouraging Accountability: A framework for structuring conversations with your child that fosters honesty, responsibility, and effective communication skills.
The Role of Playfulness in Discipline: The surprising power of levity and humor in diffusing tense situations and helping kids learn from their mistakes.
Mantras for Success: How to meet your children where they are emotionally, helping them navigate conflicts while feeling understood and supported.
Building Resilience: Practical tips for creating an environment that promotes self-awareness, confidence, and problem-solving skills in your kids.
Tune in to get tools you can use to turn conflicts into growth opportunities for your whole family!
LEARN MORE ABOUT KARLEEN SAVAGE:
https://www.karleensavage.com/
READ KARLEEN'S BOOK:
📚 The Confident Teen Blueprint
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 How to talk so your teen will listen with Elizabeth Bennett
🎧 Fostering deep, authentic and connected conversations with your kids with Rebecca Rolland
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
4:38 - What Dr. Sarah says about assertiveness skills that causes Dr. Rebecca to have a major eye-roll moment.
6:08 - The assertiveness skills that you can expect to see at different stages of your child's development - and how to allow these things to shift, change, and be fluid.
7:02 - Understanding what is happening in your toddler and young child's brain as they grow, so you can be mindful of leaning into patterns that create neural connections that can serve them best throughout their life.
11:15 - Exactly when and how to step in when you observe an interpersonal conflict that supports your child while still allowing them to build their own problem-solving skills.
16:15 - How to build assertiveness skills outside the heat of the moment. And why these can also impact skills related to sharing, flexibility, and resilience.
22:43 - Strategies for parenting in a world where we have so much access to always be monitoring our kids - when it's helpful and when it becomes a hindrance for us and for them.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 All Mine by Terrific Toddlers
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler learn to share
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about having a healthy relationship with technology with Emily Cherkin
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Are you feeling overwhelmed with all the conflicting parenting advice out there? In this episode, I'm joined by Raised Good's Tracy Gillett to discuss how one simple guiding principle can serve as your parenting compass.
In this episode, we explore:
- How the attachment relationship comes into play when our kids are “pushing our buttons” and what we can do to decrease how often they test the limits.
- What rupture and repair is and how this can be an underrated and incredibly impactful strategy to utilize in to strengthen your connection with your child.
- The empowering mindset shift you need to start “breaking the rules” and trusting your gut, plus how to get past the anxiety that can come with making these decisions.
- The single overarching question you can use as your guiding compass (spoiler alert: it’s all about connection) to inform every single parenting question and choice you’re faced with throughout your child’s life.
- The trap we can find ourselves in between authenticity and attachment, and how to help our kids avoid those same pitfalls we may have experienced in our own childhoods.
- The misconception that you must choose between connection and discipline, and exactly how we can effectively discipline our kids.
- Practical strategies for building your parenting toolbox, like how and when to “bank connection,” where to incorporate playfulness, and much more!
Whether you're new to parenting or looking to deepen your connection with your kids, this conversation will offer valuable insights and practical tips on how to parent with intention and authenticity.
LEARN MORE ABOUT TRACY GILLETT:
REGISTER FOR THE FREE RAISED GOOD ONLINE SUMMIT:
The 2024 Raised Good Online Summit
LEARN MORE ABOUT TIMEOUTS AND EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE:
🤳 DOWNLOAD my free effective discipline guide
🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with Sarah R. Moore
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, me, and and a very special guest talk about...
2:48 - The changes a 5th grader, Henry, is expecting are in store for him before the start of a new school year and how he feels about them.
4:22 - What it feels like to meet new people and how a kid views making new friends.
5:13 - The one thing Henry thinks would help him feel ready for the start of school, and what he thinks all parents should know would help your own kids.
8:04 - The most helpful tools and strategies he uses that help him stay focused in the classroom and how he talks to his teachers to get them to understand why these things are useful for him.
11:05 - How he calms his nerves during the summer before he knows who his teacher is, the other kids who will be in his class, and what he can expect in the fall.
13:38 - What makes him feel supported most by his parents when a kid at school is mean to him and what Henry thinks are the best thing other parents can do with their own kids.
19:26 - Managing technology, navigating group texts, and what his group of friends do during their in-person hang outs.
WANT TO LISTEN TO SIMILAR PODCAST EPISODES:
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Is potty training causing your stress or anxiety? I’m unpacking everything you need to know to help your child learn to use the potty with more confidence and ease.
In this episode, we explore:
- Readiness Signs: What to look for physically, behaviorally, and emotionally to know if your child is ready to start potty training.
- Setting the Stage: What to do before you start potty training to create a supportive environment that encourages independence and reduces pressure around the potty.
- How to Potty Train: Practical tips and personal stories of how to actually start potty learning once you've determined your child is ready.
- Navigating Accidents and Setbacks: How to stay calm and empathetic during the inevitable ups and downs, and when taking a break might be the best next step.
- Avoiding Common Pitfalls: Why reward systems might not be the best approach, and what to do to foster intrinsic motivation instead.
Whether you're just starting or already in the thick of it, this episode offers you a compassionate and realistic approach to getting your child to start using the bathroom.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 A conversation about pediatric pelvic health with Quiara Smith
🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
3:40 - As a culture, we don't often talk about the way the body works and it can be shocking for parents when we see our young child have an erection or explore what feels good to them.
4:50 - Finding that in-between space between understanding that this isn't sexual at this age and also acknowledging that this feels good.
7:38 - When, where, and how it's best to have these conversations with your child.
9:22 - Understanding that kids sometimes touch their private parts as a way for self-soothing can help you identify if they are doing that in public as a means to regulate and how you can support that need in a more appropriate manner.
13:55 - We don't want to infuse shame in exploring your body, but hand-in-hand with that comes addressing safe and healthy boundaries.
17:58 - Understanding the nuances of privacy.
WANT TO LEARN MORE THIS TOPIC?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising your child to be sex positive with Dr. Holly Richmond
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in a part of your body that’s often overlooked and misunderstood? This week we're diving into the transformative world of holistic pelvic care with Tami Lynn Kent.
In this episode, we explore:
Integrating Eastern and Western Approaches: The importance of integrating both physical therapy for the pelvic floor as well as energetic practices, like breath work and meditation to help women connect with their pelvic regions.
Addressing Gaps in Female Healthcare: Highlighting significant gaps in female healthcare and the importance of understanding the anatomy of the pelvic bowl to empower women.
Supporting Mothers: What it means to "mother from your center" and how to tap into this in your parenting.
Feminine versus Masculine Energy: The importance of understanding and balancing feminine and masculine energy within ourselves.
Practical Tips for Pelvic Health: Practical advice for integrating holistic pelvic care into your daily life, emphasizing the importance of tuning into your body and harnessing your innate wisdom.
Join us for this enlightening episode as we delve into the vital topic of pelvic health and discover how to better support and honor our bodies.
LEARN MORE ABOUT TAMI LYNN KENT:
PICK UP A COPY OF TAMI'S BOOKS:
📚 Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body
📚 Wild Creative: Igniting Your Passion and Potential in Work, Home, and Life
📚 Wild Mothering: Finding Power, Spirit, and Joy in Birth and a Creative Motherhood
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 Cycle syncing, restorative practices, and natural rhythms with Dr. Jessica Plancich Shinners
🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
3:02 - The combination of a child who loves eating and a mom's anxiety about how much she is eating can be tricky.
4:04 - Strategies for slowing down mealtimes to build your child's ability for "tuning into their belly" versus just enjoying the taste of the food.
5:29 - What types and methods of restrictions are appropriate and which ones do you want to try to avoid.
10:42 - Understanding what is your job as a parent and what is your child's job, from the division of responsibility principles from Ellyn Satter's work.
12:14 - Limiting foods that are highly enhanced to make the flavors so rewarding that hunger/fullness cues are easily drowned out by the desire for more dopamine hits.
16:51 - Zoom out and look at meals of the week versus each individual meal.
17:44 - If your child does eat too much and feels uncomfortable from being too full, that can help them learn too.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MEALTIMES AND FOSTERING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS TO FOOD:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating and ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about diet culture with Amelia Sherry
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Are you worried about your child’s lack of motivation or their constant struggle to keep up? This week I'm diving into the complexities of child motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten.
In this episode we explore:
👉🏻 Impact of COVID-19: The pandemic's role in exacerbating motivational challenges and what we can do to combat it.
👉🏻 Attachment Myths: Common misconceptions about attachment and the importance of separating parental anxieties from a child's development.
👉🏻 Fostering Responsibility: Practical strategies for helping children develop a sense of responsibility and self-efficacy without excessive pressure.
👉🏻 Balancing External and Intrinsic Motivation: How to encourage intrinsic motivation in children while appropriately using external rewards.
👉🏻 Rediscovering Pleasure: The importance of integrating pleasure into daily tasks for both parents and children, and how it influences motivation.
Join us for this enlightening and practical episode as we uncover the keys to unlocking motivation and supporting the well-being of our children!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. ELLEN BRAATEN
https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/
GET DR. ELLEN BRAATEN'S NEWEST BOOK:
Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child's Motivation
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
1:40 - A mental health professional can help you determine whether you should start with parenting support or individual therapy for your young child.
3:05 - Understanding the therapeutic support options available for young kids.
6:05 - Having a parent present during the beginning of sessions can help facilitate and strengthen a therapeutic alliance between the child and the therapist more quickly.
10:32 - What you can expect from parent-child dyadic sessions with a therapist - building trust, increasing frustration tolerance, containing emotions, strengthen your attachment, and more.
16:27 - Having a thorough and comprehensive intake is key for finding a treatment plan that is best suited for your child and your family's unique needs.
19:10 - It's okay to speak up, push back, and be an advocate for your child if you feel the support your receiving is not properly helping them.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PARENTING COACHING AND INDIVIDUAL THERAPY?
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Get ready for an enlightening conversation with Dr. Jessica Plancich Shinners as we explore the importance of cycle syncing, the science and art of care, and holistic health.
In this episode, we delve into:
Whole Mind-Body Health: Insights into the importance of caring for our minds, bodies, and spirit in an integrated and holistic manner.
Biological and Evolutionary Perspectives: The natural caregiving instincts biologically hardwired in women and how leaning into these evolutionary traits can enhance our well-being.
Menstrual Cycle Awareness: A comprehensive guide to aligning care practices with the phases of the menstrual cycle, harnessing its power to enhance physical, emotional, and relational health.
Parental Guidance: Tips for educating ourselves and our daughters about the significance of our natural rhythms.
This episode is packed with wisdom, compassion, and actionable advice for women and mothers looking to live a more balanced, intentional, and fulfilling life.
SHOW NOTES:
https://drsarahbren.com/222-cycle-syncing-restorative-practices-and-natural-rhythms-taking-a-holistic-approach-to-self-care-with-dr-jessica-plancich-shinners/
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA PLANCICH SHINNERS:
GET JESSICA'S FREE CHART THAT SHE MENTIONS IN THE EPISODE:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:00 - Love languages help us contextualize how we can attune in our relationships and that reminds us that what we need may be different from what another person needs to feel connected.
6:22 - Love languages is a simpler way to break down the principles of reflective functioning.
9:50 - Understanding the 5 love languages: Words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
14:44 - How love languages can be applied to the parent-child relationship.
19:20 - What Theory of Mind is and how it can be applied in your daily parenting.
21:46 - Dr. Sarah, Dr. Emily, and Dr. Rebecca share their love languages and how they receive and give love in their own lives.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Joining me this week is researcher, entrepreneur, and dedicated father, Wynford Dore. In this deeply personal and enlightening conversation, Wynford shares his transformative journey from successful businessman to pioneering advocate for neurodiversity, sparked by his daughter’s struggles with learning difficulties.
In this episode, we explore:
Uncovering the Root Causes: Groundbreaking research revealing that many neurodiverse symptoms stem from an underdeveloped cerebellum and how this understanding can change our approach to treatment.
Holistic Brain Development: A shift from pathologizing symptoms to a holistic view of the brain, focusing on what is working and how to build on those strengths.
Practical Applications: How targeted exercises can improve fine motor skills, eye-tracking, and other critical functions, transforming the lives of those with neurodiverse brains.
Educational Insights: The current state of education for neurodiverse students, the importance of teacher support, and proactive, preventative measures to better assist these children.
This episode is an essential listen for parents, educators, and anyone interested in the future of mental health and cognitive development.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ZING PERFORMANCE:
https://www.zingperformance.com/
GET WYNFORD'S BOOK:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 ADHD and attachment security with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without-feeling self-conscious?
🎧 Treating Autism with a strength-based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:47 - "When something is challenging for you, watching a close counterpart (like a sister) breeze through it is very difficult."
4:39 - These reactions can be externalizing (like being mean to her sibling) or internalizing (like feeling bad about herself).
5:12 - To what extent is it the older siblings job to manage her younger sister's struggles?
6:32 - Conversations you can have individually with each child to understand their feelings and validate their experiences before your work to collaboratively problem solve.
10:55 - How to give them a path toward a resolution, so being an ally to each other isn't in direct conflict with their unique needs.
13:12 - Reminding yourself of what you can control and reframing your goal to be: "How can I help them each get their needs met without controlling their relationship with each other?"
21:14 - Dr. Sarah shares her personal experience of being bullied as a child.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PARENTING MULTIPLE CHILDREN?
🎧 How can I handle jealousy and sibling rivalry
🎧 Transitioning from one child to two
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Join me for an enlightening episode as we delve into the complexities of parenting and relationships with couples therapist Dr. Marina Rosenthal.
In this episode, we explore:
Differing Parenting Styles: We shed light on the stress that arises when partners have different parenting styles, values, or standards and strategies for communicating so neither parent feels criticized.
Navigating Conflicts: Practical strategies for couples to build insight into their parenting patterns, emphasizes that there are multiple good ways to parent and highlighting the importance of recognizing shared values despite differing standards.
Managing Resentment and Communication: Tips on managing resentment and building a system that works for the family through effective communication and modeling healthy conflict resolution in front of your children.
Balancing Control and Flexibility: The balance between maintaining control over parenting practices and allowing flexibility for different approaches, ensuring that children grow up in a supportive and resilient environment.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MARINA ROSENTHAL:
https://www.drmarinarosenthal.com/
GET MARINA'S FREE RESOURCES THAT SHE MENTIONS IN THE EPISODE:
https://stan.store/drmarinarosenthal
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 The parallels between couples and family therapy, my first conversation with Dr. Marina Rosenthal
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:23 - The developmental appropriateness of independent play - it might not last as long as our culture might lead you to believe it should.
4:25 - To foster independence, you might have to first allow your child to be dependent on you. (And the psychology of how and why this actually works!)
7:05 - The difference between independent play versus "why can't they play quietly so I can take a phone call?"
10:12 - In our culture, we're often taught that we should always be engaging, stimulating, and entertaining our kids to help them reach their full potential.
11:40 - When we say "play" what we really mean is exploration and engagement and by understanding this, it shifts what we think our role is in this interaction.
12:30 - How to foster independent play with older kids if you didn't start building this skill from a young age.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PLAY?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with The Workspace for Children's Lizzie Assa
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Jennie Monness
🎧 Listen to our BTS discussion about enrichment classes and brain development
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT RIE (RESOURCES FOR INFANT EDUCARERS)?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using RIE with babies with Deborah Carlisle Solomon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about evolving RIE into respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
>>> Click here to download my FREE Mental Health Postpartum Checklist that walks you through creating a personalized mental health support system and allows you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
2:15 - Catharsis theory, letting out our feelings of anger, frustrating, or rage with aggressive behaviors (that do not hurt others) can be beneficial.
3:20 - Does teaching aggressive behaviors, even socially acceptable ones like punching a pillow, lead our kids' brains to pair their angry urges with aggressive actions?
7:52 - Working to understand the root of your child's anger can inform how you respond to each unique situation and the strategies you teach them to tap into to regulate their nervous system.
14:18 - If you want to mitigate children pairing aggressive urges with aggressive behaviors, try offering them a wide range of coping strategies so that doesn't become their automatic, go-to response.
17:20 - Going through the full fight-or-flight response can prevent us from storing these negative emotions inside of our body.
20:13 - Finding the middle ground that works best for your unique family - not encouraging explosive behaviors while also not always repressing your child's (and your own) anger.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
Additional podcast episodes on the topic of anger:
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
We’re diving into the complexities of raising boys during a transformative time in history with our special guest, Ruth Whippman. Ruth is an acclaimed author whose latest book, BoyMom, masterfully blends memoir, cultural critique, and reporting.
In this episode, we explore:
Brain Development: The differences in brain development between boys and girls, highlighting why baby boys need more intensive caregiving in their early months and how these differences impact emotional regulation and attachment.
Cultural and Social Influences: Insights into contemporary boyhood, including the evolution of feminism, the #metoo movement, and the nature vs. nurture debate in the development of boys versus girls.
Emotional and Relational Intelligence: The importance of teaching boys emotional intelligence and relational skills to mitigate the report of a loneliness epidemic that teen boys and young adult men are facing.
Early Attachment Relationships: Understanding the importance of early attachment relationships and how they set the blueprint for future interpersonal skills and emotional well-being.
Practical Parenting Strategies: Realistic advice for parents on how to foster empathy, emotional intelligence, and strong moral values in boys, moving beyond traditional gender norms.
Join us for this enlightening and heartfelt episode as we delve into the essential work of redefining masculinity and creating a more emotionally inclusive world for our boys.
LEARN MORE ABOUT RUTH:
GET RUTH'S LATEST BOOK:
BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 02. Attachment theory and fostering secure attachment relationships
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
2:49 - Sharing information in an honest and developmentally appropriate way is helpful for kids, so it can be empowering to tell your child the name of the diagnosis.
3:50 - Want to learn more about helping kids feel comfortable and confident taking advantage of school supports? Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation.
6:24 - Suggestions for specific language you can use to speak to your child about a diagnosis.
9:54 - When is the right time to share this with your child who received this diagnosis as well as their siblings?
10:45 - It's important not to avoid talking about the diagnosis or the symptoms with your child, which can inadvertently communicate to them that we don't think they can handle it.
14:41 - If your child is older, how to bring up this conversation and repair anything that they may have inferred and encourage open and honest conversation going forward.
19:00 - How to support the non-afflicted sibling so they know it's okay for them to take up space and also help them feel empathetic for their sibling that takes up a lot of space.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
We're talking about pregnancy, fitness, and mental health!
Joining me is Dr. Megan Roche. Megan received her medical degree from Stanford University, is the co-founder of the running coaching group Some Work All Play, and is currently pregnant with her second child.
In this episode, we explore:
Navigating Confusing Guidelines: We tackle the often confusing and sometimes scary guidelines around pregnancy and exercise. Megan demystifies the do's and don'ts and emphasizes the importance of balancing science with your own intuition to help you make the best decisions for your health.
Mental Health and Exercise: Understand the profound connection between mental health and physical activity during pregnancy and throughout parenthood.
Practical Movement Strategies: Realistic and relatable tips for incorporating movement into your busy life, especially for parents who often find themselves at the bottom of their own priority list.
Community and Support Systems: Discover the value of having a supportive community, whether through social media, local groups, or friends and family, to help maintain motivation and accountability.
Join us for this inspiring and informative episode that blends scientific research with deeply personal stories, all aimed at empowering you to stay active, healthy, and happy during pregnancy and well into parenthood!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MEGAN:
LEARN MORE ABOUT SOME WORK ALL PLAY:
LISTEN TO MEGAN'S PODCAST, SOME WORK ALL PLAY:
https://swaprunning.com/podcast
DOWNLOAD MY FREE POSTPARTUM MENTAL HEALTH CHECKLIST:
➡️ Interactive workbook to create your personalized mental health checklist
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 Preparing your mind and body for pregnancy, birth and postpartum with Brooke Cates
🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - In June there is often an influx of "end of the school year" activities, performances, and events added on top of our already packed schedules.
5:32 - School is winding down, we're starting to feel energized by the thought of summer, but we're also still confined to the school-year schedule.
7:30 - Practical strategies to make the end of the year more streamlined and manageable with your partner in parenting.
9:21 - How to set yourself and your kids up for success and communicate with your kids' school and teachers.
11:30 - Leaning into your community for things like carpooling, logistical support, and strategically figuring out how as a group you can take some tasks off your plate.
12:36 - Evaluating and being flexible with your child's evening and sleep routine.
19:19 - Be open to reevaluating and revising the plan when things aren't going as smoothly as you might want.
RESOURCES WE REFERENCE IN THE EPISODE:
🥱 In the episode I talked about giving my kids Hiya Kids Bedtime Essential vitamins. This isn't a sponsored product, I just really love this company. Check them out if you're interested, but make sure to always consult your child's pediatrician before you give them any supplements or medications.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT GETTING ORGANIZED:
🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to implement systems and schedules with Chelsi Jo
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
In this episode, sleep specialist Eileen Henry and I discuss a common challenge: how to get your child to make it all the way through the night in their own bed.
Eileen helps us unravel this complex issue by addressing:
Assessing the Situation: When to let it be and when to make a change.
Understanding Motivations: Identifying whether the desire to reclaim your bed is for personal space, relationship reasons, or concerns about your child's development.
Balancing Needs: The importance of ensuring everyone gets quality sleep and how this impacts overall family wellbeing.
Setting and Holding Boundaries: Strategies to help your child transition to their own bed while maintaining emotional security.
Attunement and Emotional Health: Teaching kids to recognize and respond to negative emotions in a healthy way.
Practical Tips and Tools: Using physical boundaries like gates, incorporating dress rehearsals for bedtime, and the power of storytelling and play in easing transitions.
Whether you're struggling with co-sleeping, managing separation anxiety, or just seeking better sleep for your family, this episode is packed with practical advice and compassionate support!
LEARN MORE ABOUT EILEEN HENRY:
https://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/
BOOK A CONSULTATION WITH EILEEN HENRY:
https://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/free-consultation-process/
DOWNLOAD MY FREE TODDLER SLEEP GUIDE:
7 ways to help create a more peaceful and effective nighttime routine
LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES WITH EILEEN HENRY:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL EPISODES WE REFERENCED:
RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) from birth with Deborah Carlisle Solomon
Evolving the principles of RIE to grow into respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury
Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Eli Lebowitz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:50 - It's very developmentally typical for toddlers to have trouble with sharing and also there are things you can do to encourage and build this skill.
7:25 - At 2.5 years-old, kids will likely need an adult to narrate and also facilitate the sharing so they learn how it's done.
11:40 - Kids can become territorial at this age, so it can be helpful to have playdates at neutral places, like a park or a playground.
13:40 - When you see your child start to get territorial, try to see this as an indicator that they need to take a break rather than a cue to teach them the importance of sharing - that can be done later, when they are more regulated and in control.
16:47 - To build the skill of sharing, it's helpful to break this down into smaller tasks like tolerating frustration, setting healthy boundaries, and perspective taking.
19:30 - We also want to be mindful not to encourage our kids to share without any limitations or we risk them feeling compelled to become more of a people pleaser.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN PARENT YOUR DAUGHTER SO SHE DOESN’T BECOME A PEOPLE PLEASER?
Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
When a child is born, so too is a mother.
In this episode, we'll explore this metamorphosis and how the abrupt shift into motherhood can shatter our former identity into many different parts (and why that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing).
Joining me is Rebecca Geshuri and Jessica Sorci, the brilliant creators behind The Mothercentric Approach, which blends Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with maternal mental health.
Rebecca and Jessica will help listeners understand IFS and how "parts work" can be vital for mothers. By acknowledging and accepting these different parts, mothers can begin to heal and integrate them, forming a more cohesive and balanced sense of self. This integration can shift how we feel about ourselves and how we show up as parents, leading to a more compassionate and effective approach to motherhood.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERCENTRIC APPROACH - FOR MOMS:
https://www.mothercentric.com/for-moms
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERCENTRIC APPROACH - FOR PRACTITIONERS:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:27 - Reframe your goal from being about maintaining the specific friendships to be about maintaining the social skills your child has acquired over the school year instead.
4:13 - Using summer as your child's opportunity to get to try something new and allow them to explore different parts of themselves.
6:26 - If a child has struggled in the past, the friendships they have may feel precious and fragile now, and that can make kids and parents alike feel anxious that this might go away.
10:12 - It's helpful not to measure your child's social success based on their age and encourage them to have friends who are a year or two younger, if that they are lacking some social skills.
14:43 - Tangible tips you can implement to support your child's social skills and encourage their building and maintaining deep friendships.
19:10 - Having a plan-b with a singular person activity can be helpful for your child to have in their back pocket to play with if they struggle to join into a social group.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Reduce stress around mealtimes and help your child be more flexible with what they eat!
Joining me today is Dr. Yaara Shimshoni, a clinical psychologist and a clinical assistant professor at the Yale School of Medicine, Child Study Center.
We'll explore the complexities of Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) and its distinction from typical picky eating. Yaara will detail how this severe eating disorder impacts children's health and social lives, and offer practical strategies for parents to reduce stress around mealtimes, encourage flexibility in eating habits, and break the cycle of accommodation that often exacerbates these issues.
Plus, we'll help parents take the guiding principles of a therapy approach called SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), and learn how to apply it with kids who are showing more normative picky eating challenges, that are not clinical, but still can be frustrating and exasperating for parents to navigate.
LEARN MORE ABOUT YAARA:
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SPACE, CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW WITH THE CREATOR, DR. ELI LEBOWITZ:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:53 - What "positive parenting" really is from a psychological perspective.
4:20 - Our child's development is not always linear, it's important to consider their regulation level and other situational factors when we set our expectations of them.
5:20 - As parents, we're often more triggered when our elementary-aged and older kids exhibit "bad behaviors."
7:19 - How to have a productive conversation with your child to pregame, collaboratively problem solve, and reflect on hot moments together once they are back in a regulated state.
9:10 - For older kids, you may need more structured behavioral interventions beyond just validating emotions and reflecting their feelings back to them.
14:17 - How to tailor your parenting approach to your unique child, rather than just accepting universal parenting strategies that may not be a good fit for you and your family.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
From neurological changes during pregnancy to the demands of parenthood, we explore the science behind "mom-rage" and how mindfulness can help rewire our responses.
Here to help us explore the meaning behind anger, the difference between reactivity and responsiveness, and practical steps to navigate mom-rage with grace and understanding is Diana Winston. Diana is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center and is the author of The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness.
Whether you're a parent struggling with anger or simply curious about the transformative potential of mindfulness, this episode offers valuable insights and practical tools for navigating the complexities of parenthood and curating a mindfulness practice amidst the chaos of daily life.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DIANA WINSTON:
DOWNLOAD THE UCLA MINDFUL APP FOR FREE GUIDED MEDITATIONS:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
3:10 - What you can be on the lookout for to alert you to the fact that you are (or aren't) properly attuning to your child.
5:10 - Strategies to help parents attune to children whose cues and signals are harder to read and understand.
9:36 - Focusing on a granular moment can lead to confusion for parents, but zooming out can help you be more accurate in your understanding of what your child needs.
13:16 - Being a "good enough" parent is not just something we must settle for, it's actually scientifically-proven to be beneficial and necessary for a child's healthy development.
16:58 - Moments of misattunements help our child learn that there will be imperfections in their interpersonal relationships, which is an important life lesson.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Are we asking the wrong questions when it comes to our kids’ screen usage? In a world where technology isn’t going away, the right questions may be less about time limits, access, and controlling their behaviors and more about how we can build a child’s internal regulation system and rewire the reward center in their brain and body that screens are designed to hijack.
Joining me to offer a paradigm shift for the way we approach technology with children is somatic educator and therapist, Alé Duarte. Alé emphasizes the importance of going beyond mere behavior management and equipping children with the tools they need to override the algorithms designed to keep them glued to their screens.
Whether you're a parent, therapist, educator, or caregiver, this episode offering you strategies for approaching technology through the lens of neuroscience and psychology is one you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT ALÉ DUARTE:
RESERVE YOUR SPOT IN HIS TRAINING SERIES, SCREEN MASTERS:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:04 - There are many dilemmas parents often face that can be seen inside of this listener's question:
Weighing the pros and cons of whether staying at home or going to work is the best for you, your child, and your unique situation.
If you do choose to use childcare, what type is most ideal for your child.
And finally, addressing the struggles surrounding your child's potential separation anxiety.
3:58 - There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions.
7:05 - This decision shouldn't only be about your child. It's also important to ask yourself: What is best for me?
7:58 - This decision doesn't have to be permanent - if it's feeling overwhelming, you can reframe this to be what is right for me and my family right now.
12:30 - Weighing between sending your child to daycare, bringing in a nanny, or staying home with your children.
15:06 - Even if you are a stay-at-home parent you can add in opportunities for your child to learn to trust other caregivers and to experience separations.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Our past experiences shape our present behaviors and patterns, but by working toward healing our inner child, we can make meaningful shifts!
Jennifer Nurick joins me to discuss a profound way to approach healing by integrating many treatment approaches, including attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and more.
In this episode, we explore practical strategies for healing past traumas and nurturing inner and outer secure attachments through "parts work." Plus, Jennifer shares poignant examples of how this work translates into real-life interactions, especially in the realm of parenting, where attunement and repair are crucial for overall mental health and well-being.
LEARN MORE ABOUT JENNIFER:
https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/
READ JENNIFER'S BOOK:
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?
Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
2:25 - Awareness and acceptance of the situation is your first step.
3:30 - Whether or not your ex is a narcissist, if you don't feel your co-parent is able to properly support your child emotionally, these strategies we offer will apply for all of those situations, too.
5:54 - Finding the delicate balance between not projecting your own feelings or "bad-mouthing" your co-parent to your child, while also not white-washing your child's feelings or gaslighting them either.
8:01 - How to use reflective functioning to help empower your child to cope when they are resistant to wanting to spend time with their other parent.
13:50 - Intentionally adding in elements for fun and delight in your own interactions with your child to help create security in your relationship.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Navigating the complex terrain of youth sports while promoting positive body image and mental wellness!
Joining me is Zoë Bisbing, a psychotherapist specializing in body image and eating disorders and the creator of Body-Positive Home.
In this episode, we emphasize the importance of creating secure attachments from the start, laying a foundation of resilience that can withstand diet-culture and societal pressures. We delve into the challenges faced by children in aesthetic sports, discussing the delicate balance between encouraging our children's passion and weighing the potential risks to their physical and mental well-being.
Tune in as we explore the intersection of resilience, body positivity, and parenting, and discover practical ways to cultivate a nurturing environment where all bodies are valued and celebrated!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
1:48 - A tantrum is a behavioral expression of emotions that feel to big to express in a productive manner.
2:25 - Tantrums typically tend to start around one-year-old and petter out by about 7.
6:37 - Try to compare your child to their own emotion regulation development and not compare them to another child.
9:37 - It's helpful to track the intensity, duration, and frequency of your child's tantrums - because our memories of these high stress times can often be flawed and being able to look at a log is very helpful.
Click here to download my FREE OBSERVATION TRACKER to help you log these behaviors over the course of a week and work to change it over the course of 3 weeks.
14:10 - The red flags you should be on the lookout for that might mean there is something abnormal with your child's tantrums.
WANT TO TAKE THIS TOPIC EVEN FURTHER? CHECK OUT THESE BOOKS, PRODUCTS, AND RESOURCES:
HELPFUL BOOKS:
ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:
Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how you can use food to teach your children about acceptance, tolerance, and the beauty of cultural diversity!
Joining me is Priya Krishna. Priya is a food reporter and video host for the New York Times and the bestselling author of multiple cookbooks including her new kid's cookbook, Priya's Kitchen Adventures.
From redefining what constitutes a "kid recipe" to navigating picky eating habits, in this episode, Priya shares practical tips for making food playful, fun, and educational. Her mouthwatering recipes will offer you an easy entry point to teach your kids to embrace diversity and expand their palate, one delicious bite at a time.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
3:10 - Resilience and distress tolerance is baked into being a younger sibling.
5:31 - When you have the bandwidth to slow down to allow your child to foster their independence, try to lean into those moments.
7:32 - We often expect our youngest to keep up with our oldest.
8:43 - Unpacking the guilt we often feel about parenting multiple children.
11:09 - How to be "transparent about the triaging" we're doing and why we're doing what.
15:20 - How to shift these strategies to apply to younger children and help toddlers adjust to having a new baby sibling, too.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
This week my conversation about finding the beauty in life and learning to accept the inevitability of death with Rabbi Steve Leder continues.
Along with being the Rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles Rabbi Steve Leder is the author of five books, including The Beauty of What Remains and his newest book, For You When I Am Gone.
We're discussing how to answer your kid’s questions about the afterlife, the best and worst things to say to someone who is grieving, how to model for our kids the power of showing up in the face of loss, and how to accept and embrace the non-linear process of grieving.
This two-part episode will offer you tangible tools for infusing your daily life with even more meaning, purpose, and a profound sense of connection.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:46 - Travel days can be free-for-alls when it comes to kids and screens - and that's okay.
7:10 - Incorporating a "brain break," a "snack break," and a "reading break" into your travel routine.
10:29 - Context switching can be difficult for children and is often something we need to help them build skills for, rather than expecting them to just be able to do it on their own.
12:08 - Dr. Rebecca shared some reflections of her own vulnerable parenting moments in real-time - sharing how even this conversation was kicking up feelings of shame and defensiveness, and how she worked through them.
16:14 - How to be kinder to ourselves and make mindset shifts when things don't go quite as planned.
20:58 - Modeling appropriate screen use can be one of the most effective forms of teaching (but we don't have to do it perfectly all the time to still have an impact!)
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Having to explain and help our kids process and grasp the concept of death, whether in a moment where it affects them personally, or simply as a concept as a whole, can be a particularly challenging conversation for parents to navigate.
Joining me is Rabbi Steve Leder. Along with being the Rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles, he is the author of five books, including The Beauty of What Remains and his newest book, For You When I Am Gone.
Whether you're seeking guidance on how to discuss life and death with your children or trying to come to terms with your own mortality, my hope is you walk away from this episode feeling a deeper understanding of how the very presence of death can make for more beauty in life.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:00 - Using screens when YOU need a break is absolutely okay and you shouldn't feel any shame or guilt around doing this!
5:05 - The difference between television and a tablet in regard to your child's development.
8:40 - How to separate your own anxiety and fear mongering around screen time so you can be educated and intentional about your child's use of technology.
9:30 - The cost/benefit of giving your child a tablet versus you keeping them off of a screen and then feeling so burnt out that you lose your cool and yell at your child.
13:03 - Ask yourself, "are screens decreasing your stress or adding more to it?"
16:38 - What the research reveals about how screens impact executive function development and the development of attention span.
18:55 - The difference between independent screen time versus interacting with screens together with your child.
Additional podcast episodes for how you can build your child's ability to engage in independent play:
Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa
How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Mike Rucker
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Delve into the transformative power of storytelling across the spectrum of parenthood, identity, and navigating life's challenges.
Joining me is award-winning journalist, speaker, and the author of Stop Waiting for Perfect: Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Power, L'Oreal Thompson Payton.
L'Oreal sheds light on the often-overlooked struggles faced by black women navigating infertility, and the importance of representation in storytelling. From grappling with postpartum depression and anxiety to challenging societal norms surrounding motherhood, L'Oreal offers valuable insights into embracing imperfection and finding strength in authenticity.
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE FIRST YEAR OF PARENTHOOD?
Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!
WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER?
Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:34 - Where do you even begin? How to start this difficult conversation with your child.
6:15 - The 3 pillars to keep in mind that will help you to guide your child through this conversation and process their emotions.
10:18 - The importance of honesty and knowing what information to share with your child in a developmentally appropriate manner.
15:33 - It is helpful to remind yourself that the goal of this conversation is about helping your child make sense of everything and feel less alone, not reassure them that everything is "great."
19:30 - Try not to put so much pressure on this one conversation. Try to view this as a jumping off point that can be revisited whenever necessary.
If you would like support processing your cancer diagnosis and helping your child work through their feelings about this, you can always reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to learn about our virtual coaching and therapeutic services.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
No one prepares you for hearing that your child is sick. Navigating a child’s harrowing medical diagnosis is often one of the hardest things a parent can go through. Today, we talk with a mother who has walked this path, and how she found a way to redefine her narrative in order to diminish her pain and suffering in one of her life's most challenging moments.
Joining me today is board-certified radiologist and Certified Life Coach Dr. Maggie Kang. Dr. Kang was faced with the unthinkable when her 9-year old healthy daughter was suddenly diagnosed with a rare disease, and life as she knew it took an unexpected turn. Through the pain and uncertainty, she navigated the challenging terrain of her daughter's illness, transforming the traumatic experience into a catalyst for personal growth and healing.
Don't miss this touching and insightful interview to hear Dr. Kang open up about where she was able to find her strength and resilience, her realization of the impact her own mental health had on her daughter, and the transformative shift when she choose to focus on the positives.
LISTEN TO DR. KANG'S TEDX TALK:
The Truth About Pain and Suffering Will Change Your Life
GET DR. KANG'S DAUGHTER'S BOOK:
ADDITIONAL PARENTING RESOURCES:
Click HERE to download my free guide that will help you to understand the building blocks of resilience - with actual phrases you can swap out to help your child to tolerate distress, develop a growth mindset, increase self esteem, and be more resilient!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:25 - Some of the most common traits and characteristics of a people pleaser.
5:00 - How the role of gender plays a part in people pleasing.
7:44 - Subtle language shifts parents can make to promote your child's ability to tune into themselves and their needs.
10:28 - Helping bridge and stretch your child's understanding of themselves and their needs without discounting their feelings.
14:20 - To help your child not become a people pleaser, it's helpful to teach them to tune into their internal compass so they know exactly what and how to please themselves.
16:25 - The more secure our attachment systems, the less likely we are to be chronically avoiding our own needs in the service of others.
21:34 - As millennial women, many of us have been conditioned to be people pleasers, so doing work on ourselves and modeling this to our children can have a major impact.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
An exploration of healing trauma through presence, connection, and self-awareness.
Joining me to take us on this journey of discovery is licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham. Dr. Ham will offer listeners a deeper understanding of trauma's impact on a person's neurobiology and their interpretation of the world around them, while emphasizing the importance of our relationships as a means of healing. All parents will benefit from the wisdom he shares on reflective functioning and how we can use this to break cycles of intergenerational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with our own children.
By the end of this conversation, my hope is that you won't just have new information, but will feel a renewed appreciation for the power of presence and feel enlightened, inspired, and perhaps a bit changed!
JOIN DR. JACOB HAM'S NEWSLETTER:
WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT:
Click HERE to download my free guide that will teach you the 4 pillars of secure attachment that will allow you to focus on parenting with attunement and trust.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:27 - How to use radical acceptance rather than trying to make everything "fair" or "equal" between siblings.
6:28 - Forging an individual relationship with each of your children and offering them one-on-one time separate from their siblings can be helpful.
9:43 - We tend to focus on the difficult moments (like when our kids are fighting) and often forget to log the good moments (like when they are getting along or even just peacefully coexisting).
13:05 - We can set conditions to maximize the likelihood that siblings will get along, but at the end of the day we can't ensure our kids will always have a strong relationship.
21:20 - Narrating what is happening versus focusing on your child's behaviors and telling them "they're being mean" or to "stop fighting" can be an easy, yet impactful shift.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT SIBLING FIGHTING:
- How Can We Implement Consequences That Teach, Not Just Punish Our Kids
- Fostering Deep and Meaningful Relationships
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Trigger Warning: This episode involves topics related to postpartum psychosis, suicide, and infanticide.
In this eye-opening conversation, one mother is sharing her raw and unfiltered story of navigating a postpartum psychosis diagnosis, shedding light on this often misunderstood and stigmatized perinatal mood and anxiety disorder.
After the birth of her second son, Chelsea battled with intense challenges with postpartum depression, which eventually snowballed into postpartum psychosis.
As we delve into Chelsea's story, we aim to foster a space of empathy, understanding, and support. I hope her openness invites you to connect with the human side of maternal mental health struggles, acknowledging that each tale contributes to the larger call to action for early intervention and better support for women in healthcare.
RESOURCES FOR PERINATAL MOOD AND ANXIETY DISORDERS (PMADs) SUPPORT:
Postpartum Support International
The Motherhood Center in New York
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 988 in the US and Canada.
SECURELY ATTACHED PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT PMADs:
A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders
How PMADs can affect new fathers
Shining a light on postpartum psychosis with Paige Bellenbaum
Addressing the crushing weight of parenthood with Dr. Christine Sterling
ADVOCATING FOR CHANGES TO MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTHCARE:
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - Playing with gender norms is developmentally typical for preschoolers and is how they learn to make meaning of things.
3:12 - For most parents, this is less a worry of our child's playful experimentation and more about how the world will respond to them.
8:50 - You can have family rules and still be supportive of your child's experimentation and play - they are not mutually exclusive.
10:08 - We can be quick to jump to questioning what these actions mean for our child's identity development, but often at this age they are just playing.
10:45 - It's helpful to be mindful of the different societal expectations of boys versus girls with gender norms.
15:04 - Playing out the fantasy your child has in the moment can sometimes satisfy their desire.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how to navigate bias and guide your children toward a future of genuine cultural understanding and allyship!
Join me for a vulnerable and honest conversation on how we can navigate bias, and nurture cultural and racial awareness and inclusivity in ourselves and our children with pediatric and clinical psychologist, Dr. Dana E. Crawford. Dr. Crawford is the developer of the Crawford Bias Reduction Theory & Training (CBRT), a systematic approach to reducing bias, prejudice, and racism, and she has recently opened pre-ordering for her newly released R.A.C.E. Cards aimed at helping foster open communication around issues of race.
In this episode, Dr. Crawford guides us on a journey of self-reflection, teaching about strategic vulnerability and the essential steps to reduce bias in our lives and in the way we raise our children. This episode promises to be a transformative experience, offering valuable insights that will stay with you long after the conversation ends.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:20 - At 3 years old, kids often start to have more desires for autonomy.
4:13 - The more we can be a predictable container and create consistent routines and boundaries for our kids, the less they will feel a need to test limits.
7:30 - Theory of Mind is the ability to understand that there are perspectives different from one's own. This only starts coming online at around 5 years old.
10:42 - Understanding your 3-year-old's brain development helps you to take their behaviors less personally.
11:55 - Building distress tolerance and impulsivity control will ultimately translate into executive functioning skills over time.
16:24 - How to stretch your child to help them to get from A to Z.
19:20 - There is a whole different skill set for doing something when you don't feel like doing it versus just the skill required to perform the specific task in and of itself (like getting dressed in the morning versus getting dressed in the morning WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE PLAYING).
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how being self-aware and intentional in your actions can shape your children's emotional resilience!
Joining me today is licensed clinical social worker and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, Amy Morin.
In this episode, Amy and I are shedding light on how parents, couples, and friends can harness this empowering mindset. From fostering curiosity and confidence to navigating complex emotions like guilt and values like honesty and kindness, we're providing you with practical tools for strengthening your own mental wellness and raising mentally resilient kids, too.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:28 - This age is when "stranger danger" and object permanence comes online with typical cognitive development.
6:47 - Crying to alert you that they don't prefer being held by another safe adult that is not Mom doesn't always mean they are in distress.
9:41 - Building resilience means reflecting our child's feelings back to them and staying calm in the face of that upset - your feelings are real, and they're safe.
12:05 - Self-regulating and titrating your responsiveness are two key elements of intervening in this exchange.
17:42 - When is this a matter of being held (by a safe adult), and when is this a matter of respecting their bodily autonomy and teaching consent when your child is a baby?
In this episode, I talked about The Authentic Parent. CLICK HERE if you want to learn more about my self-paced course that teaches you how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Unlock the transformative power of understanding and connecting with your child's ADHD brain - rather than fighting against it!
Joining me is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students and the author of Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child’s ADHD Diagnosis, Dr. Norrine Russell.
If you have a child with ADHD, you won't want to miss this episode where we're sharing personal insights, evidence-based techniques, and empowering strategies to guide parents on a journey towards fostering empathy, embracing your child's strengths, and helping them reach their full potential.
PRODUCTS FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPORT THAT I LOVE:
If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:52 - When is it appropriate to seek help from a mental health professional to help your child manage their anxiety and fears?
4:40 - How to identify the difference between our child's natural desire for information versus a desire for us to soothe their anxiety.
8:45 - Addressing concepts like death with your child is difficult because it is a scary thing for adults to confront too, which can lead to parents to do more accommodating than is actually helpful long-term.
13:05 - Asking yourself "why now?" - Working to identify if there is anything that activated this sudden shift so you can work toward targeting the root of the problem.
14:48 - Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) is a great resource for parents:
LISTEN: Listen to my interview with the creator of SPACE, Dr. Eli Lebowitz
READ: Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD by Dr. Eli Lebowitz
THERAPY SERVICES: If you are in NY State and would like to learn about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE individual and group therapy options, click here to learn more.
18:38 - What to Do When You Worry Too Much and What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck are workbooks we use in our practice and are helpful resources to use with your child.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Did you know that a staggering 67% of couples experience a dip in relationship satisfaction after the birth of a child?
Joining me is clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish. Dr. Tracy is the founder of Be Connected Digital, the author of I Didn’t Sign Up for This, and the host of the I'm Not Your Shrink podcast.
Today, we discuss how to signal for support and communicate our needs (even when sleep-deprived) to our partner, the impact our new identity as parents has on our relationships, and how to navigate the mental load of parenthood.
Our hope is to normalize the struggles many parents face in this season, offering a reassuring message: you are not alone and there are things you can do to strengthen your partnership and deepen your connection.
EPISODE SHOW NOTES:
DR. TRACY'S FREE GUIDE:
WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT:
Click HERE to check out my 2.5 hour on-demand parenting course, The Science of Tantrums, that teaches you the exact tools you need for responding in the moment and reducing your toddler's tantrums over time.
>>> Enrollment is now open for Parenting by Design, my simple, evidenced-based coaching program for parenting your sensitive child in a way that increases cooperation, discharges power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:50 - At 3-years-old you need to physically be a container for your child, so you might need to be more intentional about what environments are conducive for that during this stage.
7:28 - Try to incorporate moments where you notice the good and use positive reinforcement to supplement the discipline you need to do.
9:38 - When we discipline a child, they may feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed, which can cause them to become more dysregulated (but that doesn't necessarily mean we are doing something wrong).
13:48 - "A kid needs a target if we want them to hit that target."
17:20 - It's okay to give your child an out to allow them to save face when they are doing something "wrong."
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
>>> HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks!
Back by popular demand! For parents who want to learn my simple framework for how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks!
In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child.
Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony!
And for a limited-time only, join me in Parenting by Design, my coaching program for parents of sensitive kids that teaches you how to increase cooperation, discharge power struggles, and rebuild your child's trust in your authority–all while supporting their mental health and your own.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:33 - Breaking down what "don't overthink the lava" means and how to use that in your parenting.
9:05 - The content of the lava is not the problem we need to solve and spending time and energy on this can reduce our bandwidth.
10:48 - When you have a sensitive child who demands a lot of support, you need to get a tighter grip on your energetic resources.
13:46 - How to optimize your energetic resources and find effective support options to prevent burnout.
16:35 - If you want a framework for managing your child's challenging behaviors, check out my coaching program, Parenting by Design, that empowers moms, dads, and caregivers of sensitive children.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can revolutionize the way you manage the complexities of everyday life.
Joining me to help busy parents learn science-backed strategies to ditch guilt, manage overwhelm, and grow meaningful connections is Dr. Yael Schonbrun.
In this episode, Dr. Schonbrun shares actionable insights and strategies to help you thrive in your many roles. Whether you're a parent seeking to raise well-adjusted and healthy kids, a partner yearning for a solid and loving relationship, or a working parent striving for balance in your career, this discussion is tailored just for you.
Hit play to learn how to enhance your parenting, partnership, and career journey!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:10 - Approaching the situation without shame and trying to do our best not to go to the meeting at the school from a defensive frame of mind.
7:55 - Zooming out from the behavior itself to try to understand what types of emotions are leading to these outbursts will allow us to be more effective in "treating" it.
9:50 - Creating a relationship between you and your child's teacher to establish open lines of communication from the beginning of the year can be helpful.
18:02 - If your child is having a lot of meltdowns in school, they are likely hitting an overload point.
20:06 - Identifying if there have been any big changes in a child's life can help you track down the root issue that could be causing their behavioral issues.
20:28 - Ross Greene's Unmet Needs and Lagging Skills framework can be useful for parents in these situations.
24:25 - Communicating to the child that they are having a hard time and we are there to help them to change the behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Would you say you're a 👁️ visual or an 👂🏼 auditory learner? What if I told you that the research has actually debunked the theory that learning styles even exist?
So, then what actually is the best way for helping our kids to learn, feel successful, and become resilient?
That is exactly what I’ll be talking about with University of Virginia Professor of Psychology and the author of several amazing books, including the best-selling Why Don't Students Like School?, and most recently, Outsmart Your Brain, Dr. Dan Willingham.
In this episode we’re shedding light on the factors that influence a child's sense of self-efficacy, the importance of a growth mindset, and the delicate balance between praising effort and problem-solving for success.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:22 - Understanding the distinction between bribery and rewards, so you can be most effective in motivating your child.
5:05 - How to use rewards to help our children learn a new habit.
6:50 - A bribe is a tool in a parents toolbox, it's about knowing when to use that tool so you are doing it intentionally and not just falling back on it.
8:07 - A reward is to build momentum, not to sustain a behaviors for a long period of time.
9:10 - When using a reward system, we want to try to help our child notice the internal pleasure they derive from an experience, separate from the external reward.
11:30 - What the research reveals about the difference between using rewards for mundane tasks and chores (like brushing teeth) versus activities that are intrinsically rewarding (like reading, drawing, or practicing an instrument).
18:10 - Being intentional about the choices you make and working to use your parenting tools from a place of confidence rather than anxiety.
21:48 - What are other tools you can use to increase cooperation instead of bribery or rewards?
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Uncover proven techniques to manage anxiety, guilt, and overwhelming emotions, empowering you to parent with confidence. 👩👧
Joining me this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. Ilyse is the Founder/Director of the North Jersey Center for Anxiety and Stress Management and the author of Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—and Relax into Your New Self.
This episode is a must-listen for all new and seasoned moms, with actionable insights, real-world advice, and a fresh perspective on being the parent you want to be. We're offering you guidance on finding joy, letting go of perfectionism, and making decisions aligned with your values!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!
3:50 - How parents of a child newly diagnosed with ADHD can utilize specific strategies to support them.
6:02 - Understand ADHD and what a child with ADHD might struggle with (and what they might excel in as a result of their neurodiverse brain.)
7:20 - Trustworthy resources for parents of a child with ADHD:
12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD by Russell A. Barkley, PhD
What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline
Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson, EdD & Richard Guare, PhD
10:36 - ADHD is more of an executive functioning and emotional regulation disorder and symptoms can present vastly different from one child to the next.
15:38 - Looking at ADHD from a strength-based perspective.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Embark on a journey of self-exploration that will empower you to rewrite your attachment narrative!
Joining me to share her expertise on attachment patterns in adult relationships is psychotherapist and the author of the new book Your Pocket Therapist, Dr. Annie Zimmerman.
Together Dr. Zimmerman and I have an engaging conversation that dives deep into the nuances of matrescence and patrescence, how to begin unpacking your triggers, and the transformative 5-step process she outlines in her book, providing parents with a roadmap for increased attachment security and positive change.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:02 - Distinguishing between the different interventions for how to respond to biting with a young child versus an older toddler.
5:55 - Babies don't often bite out of angry, but for many other reasons including exploratory and sensory seeking behaviors.
7:53 - When a baby bites another kid and the child has a big reaction, our baby may bite more because they are exploring the response this may illicit.
9:20 - The less attention we give this behavior the more likely we can see a reduction to the biting.
12:04 - If your child is prone to biting other kids, you may have to be their "buddy guard" for a while to try to catch it in the moment before they lose interest in biting.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Effective strategies for guiding your child through the digital landscape and preparing them for a tech-savvy future!
Join us in this episode as Dr. Devorah Heitner unravels the mysteries of parenting in the age of social media, online gaming, and rapid technological changes. Gain practical insights into setting boundaries, modeling positive behavior, and empowering your kids to navigate the complexities of the digital universe with confidence.
Dr. Devorah Heitner has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society and is the author of the books Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World and Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World.
From modeling positive tech behavior to understanding your child's readiness for social media, teaching consent, and fostering offline connections, we're covering it all! So don't miss this episode for some keys to creating a harmonious digital family life.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:05 - Parents are often worried this transition will be traumatic, but most children will be able to get through it in a healthy way, even if they have big feelings about it.
3:44 - Be mindful that how we feel about this transition is often predictive of how smoothly it will go and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6:04 - There is a period of time where we might see some messiness and regressions, and that still isn't a sign that things are going "wrong."
7:24 - When we panic at our child's big feelings it can become a cycle that can prolong the distress, so we want to try to be mindful not to add fuel to their fire.
8:56 - 8 minutes full of concrete strategies parents can use to prepare for and help their child for a smoother transition to new childcare.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How can parents use the principles of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (IAFT) to strengthen their connection with their child?
That is what I'll be exploring with the co-author of the new book, Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship through Play, Co-regulation, and Meaning-Making, Dafna Lender, LCSW.
This episode offers a unique perspective on parenting, emphasizing the importance of play, co-regulation, and meaningful interactions in cultivating a resilient and thriving parent-child relationship.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:40 - Unpacking whether our child is anxious about this experience, or if we might be projecting our own feelings onto the request for them to perform.
5:33 - What interventions can you use in the moment when someone asks your child to do something you're not sure they want to do.
9:26 - How to avoid fragilizing our kids in this world of gentle parenting.
12:17 - How can we respond when an adult asks our child to perform a social expectation, like giving a hug or answering their questions - whether they're 3 or 10.
15:40 - Deciphering how much we should protect our child from things that make them feel uncomfortable and how much are we should work to stretch them.
20:28 - At what age or developmental stage does it become about manners versus allowing them to listen to their internal drives?
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
🧬 How do genetics impact our child's temperament, personality, and development?
Here to talk about the impact of DNA, environmental factors, and the interplay between a child's actions and a parent's response is Dr. Danielle Dick. Dr. Dick is the author of The Child Code and an internationally recognized and award-winning expert on genetic and environmental influences on human behavior.
This episode offers a roadmap for parents, empowering them to embrace their child's innate strengths, manage pitfalls, and foster a nurturing environment tailored to their unique temperament.
Tune in for a refreshing perspective that takes the pressure off parenting, encouraging radical acceptance, and intentional guidance in this marathon called parenthood.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - You can build your child's resilience by helping them establish healthy and secure relationships.
5:22 - Understanding the importance of "good enough" parenting for your child's development.
6:19 - What is the goal of parenting in our child's first year? Is there such a thing as a child being too young for you to build up their resilience?
9:22 - The difference between survival and resilience.
12:45 - What emotion regulation looks like developmentally in the first year and how to become attuned to your baby's different cries.
18:10 - Can we turn sadness and pain into ambition - and is that something you can teach a child?
23:01 - If we frame resilience as the ability to trust yourself and believe your feelings are important, the best way to teach that to a young child is to mirror what they are feeling as real and important.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
In a society that places a premium on perfection, reshaping our personal and parenting goals to prioritize growth over perfectionism becomes a formidable task.
Here to help empower you to navigate the messy middle ground of parenthood, embrace the long game, and find beauty in the small wins is the founder of About Progress, Monica Packer. Monica is a mom of 5, podcaster, coach, and "recovering perfectionist" herself.
Monica's wisdom challenges the conventional all-or-nothing mindset, providing a breath of fresh air with her perspective on the beauty of imperfection and the cultivation of authentic connections. This enlightening and empowering conversation will help all parents seeking to break free from the shackles of perfectionism and usher in a new era of personal and parenting growth.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:55 - Raising our own tolerance to the discomfort of our partner being "less effective" than we know we could be with our children.
5:55 - Ask yourself: "What if I am actually NOT the only expert on my child and what my partner is giving her is actually what she needs."
6:47 - Can you physically remove yourself (just in the short term) to allow your partner and child to adjust without you becoming triggered?
9:52 - What is the threshold for when you do want to step in and "rescue"?
12:24 - When we always rescue, we may inadvertently communicate to our child (and our partner!) that they aren't capable of parenting properly.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
One of the biggest transitions a child can experience is a move away from family, friends, their school, and the life they knew...
For military families in particular, this is a challenge many are faced with over and over, so establishing strategies for supporting yourself and your children can be particularly vital.
Joining me today is military spouse and clinical psychologist Dr. Hannah Samaha. Together, we'll share practical moving hacks for kids, creative ways to keep them connected with friends they leave behind, and highlight the importance of community for the health of children, parents, and the entire family system.
By the end of this episode, you'll learn to embrace imperfection, practice self-compassion, and recognize that showing up for ourselves and our kids doesn't always have to be perfect—it just has to be genuine!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
>>> Download my FREE guide with 3 psychologist-approved discipline strategies that DON'T utilize shame or guilt (and still work to get your child to behave!)
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:02 - Your tone of voice and way you communicate the consequence to you child is important.
6:45 - Is there a difference between a consequence and a punishment?
7:33 - How being attuned to your unique child will help you determine what the appropriate preparation and consequences should be.
11:32 - The difference between a planned versus a reactive consequence makes a big difference.
13:22 - Do consequences work well for tantrums, aggressive behaviors, and other dysregulated actions?
17:50 - How can parents be consistent, even in unpredictable situations.
25:30 - How to think creatively to find the incentive that will motivate your child best.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
🧠 Ready to Level Up Your Parenting Game?
Tuning into our bond with our child and their attachment to us can be one of our most powerful tools in parenting.
Jennifer Kolari is the founder of Connected Parenting, a method based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behaviors and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.
Tune in to discover the power of empathy, the importance of setting loving limits, and the art of attuning to your child's needs—and how all this can come together to foster increased cooperation, making the journey of parenting a bit smoother and more joyful.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:41 - Respectful versus intentional parenting - and how not to let either cause parents to be too fearful of "messing up."
4:11 - Making strategies your own. There is a way to stay authentic to your values while also infusing the magic of the holidays.
4:51 - "No one thing you're going to do is going to blow everything up."
5:52 - We don't have to take this too seriously, not everything in parenting needs to be so serious.
11:33 - How as a parent you can go against the grain and hold space for that.
16:15 - If Elf on the Shelf feels like too much work for you, it's okay not to do it simply for that reason, too.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Find out how your child’s pediatrician can become an invaluable resource for YOU in your parenting journey. 🩺 👶🏼 👩⚕️
Here to discuss the nuances of what is normal when it comes to childhood milestones, reassuring parents that the journey isn't one-size-fits-all, is board certified pediatrician Dr. Jessica Hochman.
Whether it's a late walker or a picky eater, we'll provide practical guidance on when and how to trust your gut as we explore the intersection of parental anxiety and child well-being.
If you've ever found yourself on the edge of a Google search rabbit hole, wondering if your child's development is on track, this episode is your go-to for navigating those uncertainties with more information and confidence.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:25 - Understanding the difference between typical development and when there is a sensory issue.
4:04 - The recommendations for how to handle sensory issues, ADHD, and anxiety at a young age are all the same, so it’s less about having to identify it perfectly and more about how we respond to it.
5:21 - At 4 years old a lot of these sensory-seeking behaviors are normative, once children reach around 7 years old, if the behaviors persist, then you may be able to identify this as an issue.
9:34 - Could this need to always touch his baby brother be a delayed jealousy issue?
10:48 - Examining how much attention you are giving to the concerning behavior and what happens before and after this action.
13:42 - How to effectively use praise to positively reinforce the behaviors you do like to see and prepare them ahead of time for anticipated challenges.
20:19 - Try to approach this issue with collaborative problem-solving to see what suggestions your child may come up with.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How the time-tested traditions of yoga and modern scientific advancements are revealing a similar path for enlightenment and well-being! 🧘♀️🔬
Today we're exploring the intersections of parenting values, child development, and secure relationships, allowing parents to identify that sweet spot in their own life where all these things overlap.
Joining me this week is seasoned yoga therapist, mom of two, and the mastermind behind some extraordinary moms groups, Nicole Katz.
Nicole shares practical tips and playful techniques to cultivate self-awareness, both on and off the yoga mat. We'll explore the idea that motherhood is an ongoing evolution, a verb rather than a destination, and how our children's growth invites us to continually examine our own experiences and beliefs.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:07 - Do we encourage or dissuade our kids from asking people if they are a girl or a boy?
5:32 - Separating your own discomfort and embarrassment when your child says something that goes against the social construct.
7:28 - Kids point out differences when they see differences, and we don't need to shut that down.
9:13 - Being open to your own child's curiosity while helping them from "othering" the child they are asking questions of.
15:25 - When your child says something that has the potential to offend the person they are speaking to, how can we use that experience to facilitate conversations you may not otherwise have the opportunity to have.
18:49 - Helping your child imagine what it may feel like for the other person to receive this type of question.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
🧠 Let's simplify some complicated neuroscience into accessible and easy-to-understand bites!
Did you know that understanding the intricate ways our nervous system responds to our environment can actually help us raise children who are resilient, healthy, and mindful?
Joining me today is Seth Porges. Seth co-wrote the amazing new book, Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us, along with his father, the creator of polyvagal theory, Dr. Stephen Porges. In it, this father-son duo breaks down complex science into useful, practical, and easy-to-understand (and apply) insights about just how interconnected we are. In this conversation, we take these insights and apply them to all aspects of parenthood. From helping your child to get through big emotions more easily, to helping manage the overstimulation of parenting loud and handsy little kiddos, to feeling more connected and safe in our relationships. This is definitely an episode you won't want to miss!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:51 - Understanding the context and circumstances of why your child is whining.
4:01 - Responding to the content of your child's feeling or unmet needs rather than the tone.
7:26 - Getting to the root of what your child is trying to communicate, rather than asking something more of them in the moment.
8:20 - What to do when your child is whining a lot and it has become a real issue.
9:21 - How to ignore the behavior without ignoring your child.
13:25 - Get 3 psychologist-approved discipline strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt with this FREE GUIDE!
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Uncover the shocking impact toxic achievement culture is having on our kids' well-being - and what we can do to change that for the better! 😵💫
With her extensive research and thought-provoking insights, author of the NY Times best selling book Never Enough, Jennifer Breheny Wallace brings to the forefront the challenges our children face in this high-pressure world.
In today's episode, we'll delve into the subtle and not-so-subtle ways in which the toxic achievement culture infiltrates our children's lives, and, most importantly, we'll explore actionable strategies to mitigate its impact.
Whether you're a concerned parent seeking guidance on how to nurture a more balanced, healthier environment for your children, or an educator looking to make a positive change in the lives of your students, you're in for a thought-provoking discussion with invaluable insights.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:18 - Having a big imagination is a form of cognitive play for child and a very healthy way for them to make sense of their world.
6:32 - How can parents respond and engage with your child when their fantasies are aggressive.
9:47 - After the "toddler fantasy" stage parents often see a "preschool denial of behavior" phase come next.
12:50 - How to give your kids the emotional space to own their actions and start to understand the impact of how their behaviors impacts others.
18:16 - If we have a big reaction to our child's lying when they are using it as a defense mechanism, we're actually likely to see more lying in the future.
21:43 - Shifting our perception of our kid's lying as a manipulative behavior with the intention of deceiving us to instead be that they are using it to protect themselves from the overwhelming feelings of fear, shame, or guilt.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
❤️ Practical strategies for nurturing your relationship while navigating the ups and downs of parenthood. 👇🏻
As couples embark on the journey of parenthood, their relationship naturally undergoes a huge transformation. However, in a society that often places excessive focus on children, it's easy to overlook the vital need to nurture and prioritize our connection with our partner.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Suzanne Burger is here to share valuable insights on how couples can maintain and strengthen their bond throughout the challenges of parenthood.
From practical activities to thought-provoking discussions, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to be more deliberate in striking a harmonious balance between their roles as parents and partners!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:07 - Putting a scary experience into perspective and viewing it as an opportunity to have a conversation on safety and boundaries with your child.
5:17 - You can review ground rules with your child without using shame or fear to make them impactful.
9:41 - Understanding your unique child's level of impulsivity and how they learn best.
11:30 - Walking the delicate tightrope between making your child aware of appropriate choices for their safety without making the whole world feel dangerous.
15:12 - Our real goal for teaching "stranger danger" is not for children to be afraid of all strangers, but to have a realistic understanding of risks and accurately read environmental cues.
21:08 - Even when there is high risk, staying regulated as we discuss this with our kids can help them accurately grasp the danger in situations versus internalizing unhealthy amounts of anxiety.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Uncover the secrets to raising intentional and reflective kids! 🌱👨👩👧👦
How does our perception of life shape our sense of self? And how can we teach our children to examine the meaning they make of their feelings and experiences to help them learn to be intentional in their actions?
Prepare to expand your horizons, reconsider your perspective, and embark on a transformational journey with this week's guest and the author of GROW UP: Becoming the Parents Your Kids Deserve, Gary John Bishop.
Join us as we uncover the secrets to nurturing secure attachments and fostering reflective functioning skills in our children. It's time to empower the next generation with the tools they need to create meaningful lives. Don't miss out on this episode that promises to reshape your understanding of self, parenting, and personal growth.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:07 - Addressing your own anxiety and the "what if's" first, so you can separate your emotions from your child's experiences and feelings.
6:59 - Shifting this parent's thoughts from "I am responsible for fixing this" to "I am responsible for paying attention."
8:44 - Utilizing school resources and familiarizing yourself (and your child) with the mental health support system that the college or university provides to their students.
11:52 - The symptoms that parents can be on the lookout out for if you're worried that your child may be depressed.
12:52 - Parent's don't need to be the one to determine if your teen is having a mental health issue that requires additional support. You can bring in a therapist to do an assessment so you don't feel all the pressure to "diagnose" your child.
17:10 - Even if your adolescent voices resistance to the suggestions you give them, it doesn't mean that advice doesn't actually land.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Helping our children learn to understand, process, and make sense of their emotions can be pivotal for fostering their mental well-being all the way into adulthood.
Join me for an enlightening conversation that promises to empower you as a parent or caregiver is the author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, Alyssa Blask Campbell.
Discover practical strategies to support your child's emotional regulation, build resilience, and foster empathy, and explore the ways sensory sensitivities can be harnessed as a path to nurturing emotionally intelligent children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:12 - The quick 101 on attachment theory - it's most simple definition.
7:29 - Understanding the difference between making bad choices and having unhealthy romantic relationships versus having an attachment disorder.
10:12 - If a person does have an avoidant insecure attachment style, what can they do not to pass down this attachment style?
11:39 - The importance of attunement in attachment.
13:40 - Being intentional in your approach to parenting can help anchor you and prevent you from being so reactive in the moment.
18:13 - There are many relationships that come together to form a child's attachment blueprint - so you don't need to put so much pressure on yourself!
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Using the end of the night to help a child unwind, make sense of the day, and prepare for what’s to come tomorrow can be a valuable tool for shifting their brain and body into a state of rest.
Joining me to talk about how parents can use the last 20 minutes of the day to promote social and emotional learning is the author of the children’s book series, Conscious Stories, Andrew Newman.
Helping our child to feel safe and connected to us just before it’s time for them to drift off into sleep can have a huge impact on their ability to successfully fall asleep and stay asleep and on their overall mental wellbeing.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:49 - What should consequences for my child be when there are no natural or logical consequences that are easy to identify?
4:05 - Understanding the developmental difference between your child being able to intellectually comprehend something versus their ability to inhibit an impulse.
7:41 - Helping your child keep their autonomy while teaching them a new rule to maintain safety might mean you have to supervise them for a while.
10:37 - I told my child not to do something, they did it anyway, what should the consequence be? Should I punish them?
12:58 - Parents are often afraid of using consequences in a gentle parenting philosophy—but there is an appropriate time and use for consequences.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
>> Click here to watch for my FREE masterclass, From Battles to Bonding: Overcoming Power Struggles! And gain insights and tools that can lead to a more peaceful and enjoyable parenting experience, free of daily power struggles!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
6:22 - How to allow sensitive children to feel seen and understood, without making them shut down or feel uncomfortable with too much direct attention.
7:17 - Behavioral interventions to use with sensitive kids when they are fully dysregulated and as they start to cool down.
9:05 - Being intentional about using structures and systems preemptively so sensitive children understand expectations and can predict what will happen next.
15:56 - While this may sound like it take a lot of time and attention, in the end it's easier than managing the meltdown.
20:31 - Things will come up that you can't anticipate, and that's where theses strategies of recognizing, validating, redirecting, and recovering are helpful.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
>>> HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks!
Want to learn how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks?
In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child.
Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:18 - You are not alone! Kids holding it together all day with other people and melting down with us is very common (and healthy, even!)
2:57 - How to make transitions smoother to help reduce dysregulation when children get home.
7:26 - Children do behave differently with different caregiver and parents respond differently to different children. This is typical and normal, but there are shifts we can make to interrupt these patterns if they’re not working for the family.
11:55 - Reframing your interpretation of your child's big emotions as a necessary release, rather than a problem that needs to be fixed.
14:30 - The interpretation that your child is messiest with your because they feel safest with you may be true and validating, but it doesn't mean they feel unsafe with you if the inverse is the case.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show?
Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world!
Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and punishments that perpetuate power imbalances. Instead, embrace empathetic listening, understanding your child's needs, and collaborative problem-solving. The result? Parents no longer feel like martyrs and children's behavioral problems often start to decrease.
If you're ready to transform your family life while shaping a brighter future for your children, then this episode is a must-listen!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:24 - How this current generation is working to lessen the stigma of having learning difficulties or a neurodiverse brain by approaching it as a difference rather than a deficit.
4:20 - How parents can be collaborative with their child's school to help them feel comfortable getting support in the classroom.
7:26 - Understanding a child's genetic history can empower parents to make specific choices (proactively and in the moment) based on that unique knowledge.
9:02 - Teaching your child to use, "I'm the type of person who..." statements can help them approach the things that are challenging for them without judgment.
15:29 - How comparing an invisible disability (like ADHD, OCD, anxiety, etc.) with physical disabilities can help children feel comfortable accepting support.
18:45 - Modeling coping skills by talking about your unique brain, body, and your process in navigating mental or physical differences without infusing shame.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
We all want our children to succeed. But, the way they get there can feel counterintuitive to many parents and mainstream parenting approaches. We need to let our kids stumble, let them make mistakes, and allow them to struggle a bit.
Here to help parents understand how to support their child's autonomy in a way that promotes family harmony is psychologist and author of Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, Dr. Emily Edlynn.
From allowing for boredom, teaching our children to find balance, tuning into their intrinsic motivation, and giving them space to learn their body's cues, this episode will help you harness the power of treating your child with respect.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:37 - What is a "spicy" kid and how is that a more positive term than "sensitive" or "highly emotional"?
4:05 - What is the difference between continuum and categorical and how does this apply to these highly reactive kids.
4:54 - Helping kids who easily go to feelings of shame while setting limits.
8:32 - Teaching our children the difference between shame and guilt and how this can be a beneficial parenting tool to use with the children that quickly go to a place of shame.
12:08 - Create opportunities for your child to feel a sense of mastery, in control, self-confident, and proud by inviting them to participate in tasks you know they can excel at.
19:31 - Try using the terms "safe" or "unsafe" rather than "good/bad" or "mean/nice" when describing your child's behaviors.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Addressing the root cause of our children's physical and mental health challenges, rather than just treating the symptoms, can allow the human body to function as it should and positively impact energy, mood, and overall feelings of wellness.
Joining me to discuss the benefits of taking a holistic and integrative approach to pediatric medicine is Dr. Pejman Katiraei, a board-certified pediatrician and the co-founder of WholisticMinds.
We'll explore how physiological and environmental factors like mold, Lyme, and other toxins can impact children's bodies leading to behavioral issues, and what this understanding means for the diagnosis and treatment in children of things like autism, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and more.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
>>> Download my FREE Mental Health Postpartum Checklist that walks you through creating a personalized mental health support system and allows you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.
As children grow, their friendships become increasingly more important to them and are an integral part of their developing sense of self, of relationships, and how they fit into this world. Helping them learn to understand, process, and manage the multitude of emotions that come with early peer relationships can have a major impact on their development and mental health.
Here to talk about the way children make, maintain, and nurture friendships is Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore. Eileen is a psychologist, friendship expert, and co-author of Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids.
From properly interpreting social cues, to managing conflict, and teasing and bullying, this episode will help parents gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a kid today and how we can best support our children as they navigate social interactions.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:38 - How to determine what is driving your child's desire to quit an activity.
6:15 - Weighing the pros and cons between letting your child quit (and potentially not learning to persist, make a commitment, and tolerate struggle) versus not letting them quit and forcing them to do something that may no longer be serving them
7:05 - Determining the parameters around when and how you allow them to stop an activity.
9:38 - "The goal, and how we're going to respond to this, is to explore it rather than fix it."
15:18 - How to separate our own expectations and desires from what we project onto our children.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
The care we provide for mothers, helping them to feel seen and supported, not only changes the way they internalize their self worth, but the trajectory of the perceived value they internalize and pass along to their children.
Joining me in this episode is Chanel Porchia-Albert, the founder and Chief Executive Director of Ancient Song Doula Services and activist in the fight for birth equality for all, regardless of race, location, or socio economic status.
Together we'll help all expecting or soon-to-be expecting new parents know more about their options, learn what questions to ask of themselves and their doctors, and what exactly to consider to help them feel most cared for during their pregnancy and birth experience.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:15 - The perceptiveness of toddlers and why kids often know more than we realize.
5:26 - How to explain to a toddler in a simple, honest, and developmentally appropriate way that there is no longer a baby in Mommy’s belly.
7:48 - The specific words and language that is best to use with toddlers (and what we want to try to avoid) when telling them about the loss of a baby.
13:06 - How to help ease a child's anxiety after a conversation about loss or death.
16:33 - Understanding behavioral changes that may occur when a child is processing grief and how these themes can emerge in their play.
20:02 - Recognizing why certain behavioral shifts may be happening and the benefit of acknowledging them directly with your child.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
You can’t Google the words “baby sleep” without being inundated with a barrage of sleep training ads and methods, all claiming to do it gentlest, fastest, and best. But, what does the science and the research actually show about how effective and healthy sleep training is for our infants and young children?
I’m am thrilled to have neuroscientist, doula and the author of the book The Nurture Revolution: Grow Your Baby’s Brain and Transform Their Mental Health through the Art of Nurtured Parenting Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum back on the podcast to talk about the science of sleep!
We’re not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but instead our goal is to arm you with all the information you need so that you are able to make informed decisions about what is best for you and your unique family - with no shame, judgment, pressure, or fear!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
>> Do you need support coparenting your child with your ex? Reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to schedule a free consultation call to learn more about the individualized treatment options.
How do you know whether your child has selective mutism or is just shy in certain situations?
Joining me today to discuss selective mutism—an anxiety disorder that is characterized by the inability or refusal to speak in certain situations, despite being capable of speech in other settings—is Dr. Carmen Tumialan Lynas. Dr. Tumialan Lynas is a clinical psychologist and anxiety specialist and the founder of Advanced Therapeutic Solutions.
Recognizing the symptoms of selective mutism (SM) is crucial in order to provide appropriate support. If you think your child may have SM, you won't want to miss this episode that covers what to look out for and how to help children so they can overcome their communication challenges and thrive!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:30 - The importance of mindfulness and pausing long enough to notice and express when we are grateful.
6:21 - Setting realistic expectations - you can be teaching gratitude and not have grateful kids all the time, and that's okay.
7:50 - The difference between being spoiled or entitled and having desires.
12:26 - How to handle our own triggers when we feel like our child is being spoiled.
14:00 - What the availability bias is and how it impacts our kids.
20:45 - Proactive responsibilities are opportunities to teach appreciation, value, and perspective.
25:00 - Understanding privilege.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How does the way we treat our children affect the makeup of their brains? And how can we use this knowledge to raise children in a style that optimizes their physical, emotional, and mental health?
That is precisely what Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum shares in her new book, The Nurture Revolution.
From exploring the neuroscience of nurturing to understanding how early caregiving experiences influence our relationships as adults, Dr. Kirshenbaum offers profound insights that can shape how we think about respectful parenting with children of any age.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:07 - Does playing with Barbies cause children to have an unrealistic body image?
8:01 - Do millennials carry a stigma around Barbies that is not accurate to the way they are being portrayed now?
8:58 - Is it beneficial to ban any toys, or is it better to use these toys as a conversation starter?
10:45 - How can you initiate a conversation with your child that can negate some of the negative effects of playing with thin dolls, unrealistic ideas of gender norms, and stereotypes.
18:40 - What other factors regarding self-esteem and body image are more important for parents to keep in mind rather than if they should or shouldn't let their child play with Barbies.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
When it comes to healthy eating habits, it's essential to focus on balance and trust rather than strict rules or restrictions - which for many of us, is the exact opposite of the way we were raised.
Amelia Sherry, registered dietitian/nutritionist and the author of Diet-Proof Your Daughter, is joining me today to talk about ways parents can make this mindset shift in order to support and nurture their child’s healthy relationship to food.
Throughout today's episode, we'll explore the role parents play in shaping a child's body image and feelings toward food, and offer you some practical tips for fostering healthy eating habits and reducing mealtime power struggles with your own children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:11 - What actually is the proper scientific definition of fight-or-flight?
3:30 - What is the difference between being mad and being in fight-or-flight?
6:13 - The first step: Simple physiological interventions you can take to decrease your stress levels.
12:58 - The power of slowing down.
16:35 - Reflecting on why you are being triggered so you can zoom out and shift some of the patterns.
22:37 - Even if you do lose your temper, you can always go back and repair. (Go to drsarahbren.com/lost-my-temper for a workbook that teaches you exactly how to reconnect, repair & rebuild trust after you lose your cool.)
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Having a baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) comes with a wide range of emotions and experiences that can be challenging for new parents to navigate. And many feel like they’re facing this challenge alone.
The founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan, are working to change that!
This episode is filled with encouragement and support with expert advice and practical strategies to help you and your baby thrive. You'll learn strategies for navigating the NICU and cultivating a secure attachment bond that will endure beyond the hospital walls.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:38 - What is serve and return and how does it impact our baby's brain development?
6:02 - The human brain is hardwired to have dynamic interpersonal exchanges.
8:19 - It's not about the "stuff" it's about the relationships.
8:27 - Why "safety" is the first step for allowing your child to explore their world, develop cognitively, and shapes the structures of the brain.
12:31 - Are enrichment classes beneficial for brain development?
18:02 - What are the many possible functions of these enrichment classes?
20:54 - Giving kids the opportunity to solve problems in daily life is incredibly valuable - and free!
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
The constant pressure to do it all (and do it all perfectly, I might add) is just one of the reasons parents are finding themselves so burnt out.
We are so go, go, go that we often forget to stop and assess what is working, what isn't working, and how we can be intentional about using the time we do have to raise our children with the values that we find most important. Here to help parents learn to manage and prioritize their time is the author of Thursday is the New Friday, Joe Sanok.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and overworked, you won’t want to miss this episode with brain hacks you can use to be more efficient with your time, tools for assessing where to put the time you do have, and strategies to help you decide what can be flexible and what needs firm boundaries to be set–whether in the home, at work, or within your relationships.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:05 - The guidelines we use and the questions we ask to determine whether or not we allow our own kids to have a sleepover with their friends.
5:11 - Why knowing the formal questions about body safety, firearm safety, etc. can keep your child safe, even if you don't choose to explicitly ask them.
10:57 - It's not about one thing, but all the things that together serve to help create a safer environment.
12:29 - What are the benefits of allowing your child to have a sleepover?
17:01 - Assessing your child's personal developmental readiness.
21:07 - At what age are most kids developmentally able to handle a sleepover?
24:44 - Addressing bullying (before and after) slumber parties.
31:23 - How one-on-one sleepovers can help children create connections and break into friend groups.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Secure and insecure attachment styles aren't good or bad, they simply are. It can be tempting to label these things, but with that can come shame, guilt, and anxiety.
Here to help dispel some myths about attachment science and offer parents strategies for building their own ability to help their child feel understood and safe is Dr. Tanya Cotler.
Together we'll help listeners learn to zoom out to identify patterns and offer suggestions for deepening the parent-child bond, while factoring in family history, the human brain and body, and the importance of reflective functioning.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:48 - What to think about and how to decide when it’s time to start moving away from the pacifier.
7:11 - What age would we recommend parents stop letting their child use a pacifier to help them self-soothe.
9:30 - Should you slowly ween or should you take the pacifier away cold turkey?
17:23 - Practical strategies to use (and what not to do) when you decide it's time.
18:56 - How to prepare the environment to make this an easier transition.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Big kids can mean big problems. As tweens and teens start to find their independence and exert their autonomy, parents may feel a little lost as they face new challenges.
One of the best ways to break through is to learn how to communicate with your growing child in a way that helps you both to feel seen, understood, respected, and appreciated. Joining me to offer parents tools to do just that is the author of the book Courageous Conversations: A guide for parents to understand and connect with their teen, Elizabeth Bennett.
Whether your child is already at this stage, or you just want to lay the groundwork from the start, my conversation with Elizabeth will offer parents strategies for helping your child to feel safe being open and honest with you, no matter how old they are right now.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
New parenthood is full of challenges, twists, and turns. But particularly for men who were raised by single mothers, becoming a father can sometimes feel like they are forced to forge a new path without having a roadmap for how it's done.
Joining me today to talk about his own experience of becoming a dad and the lessons he learned is the author of Rookie Father, Kendall Smith.
So whether you’re a dad who is feeling like you are still a “rookie” at this whole parenting thing, or a mom who could use a little peek into the inner mind of your partner, in honor of Father's Day this weekend, I hope you join us as we celebrate the profound, important, and fun contribution that father’s have on their children’s lives!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Whether you are in a fully codependent relationship or not, there can be subtle things people do in romantic relationships, with friends, and within a parent-child relationship that can heighten aspects of codependency.
Here to help parents spot the signs of codependency (whether in yourself or in your partner in parenting) and teach you strategies and behaviors to help you create a more healthy and secure relationship with your child is self-proclaimed "Codependent Perfectionist" and LMHC Alana Carvalho.
In this episode we'll define what codependency is, the emotional burden it can place on our children, and practical steps we can take to break free of this pattern and foster healthier relationships.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Janet Lansbury was talking and blogging about respectful parenting long before it became a buzzword.
Informed by her mentor and RIE creator Magda Gerber, Janet has spent decades encouraging parents and teaching them how to create loving and supportive environments for their children to help them grow into compassionate, confident, and resilient individuals.
Whether you are a follower of the RIE (resources for infant educarers) parenting method and wondering how these principles centered on respect and trust can evolve as your child grows, or you are just looking to find a parenting approach that feels aligned with your values - this episode will empower you to view your child as a whole, capable being, with just as much to teach us as we have to teach them.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Becoming a grandparent is typically embraced by society as a joyous event filled with all the love and much less of the responsibility that comes with parenthood. However, in reality, the identity shifts that occur when parents become grandparents are complicated, with a mix of highs and lows. And with this so rarely discussed, new grandparents (and new parents) can feel blindsided and struggle to know how to navigate the complexities of this transition.
Joining me today to have a full and honest conversation about what it means to become a grandparent, from both a personal and a clinical level, is Licensed Mental Health Counselor and grandmother of 2, Carol Merle- Fishman.
This episode is an ideal listen for both parents and grandparents — tackling generational differences, how to understand each other's perspectives, and strategies for approaching complicated family dynamics with a deeper sense of compassion and empathy.
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Does attachment security impact our perception of our appearance and whether or not we have a positive or negative body image? Are mothers, consciously or unconsciously, passing down their own internalized feelings about weight and worth to their daughters? And how is social media impacting the way teen girls view themselves?
These important questions are what Dr. Miriam Steele is working to answer in her vast research in the field of attachment theory.
Teens today are struggling. As parents, being conscious and aware of the scientific findings and strategies we can use to support our children—from childhood into adolescence—is vital for helping them get through tough times and learn to combat feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and depression.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Understanding attachment theory can give parents an amazing insight into why things are happening in their relationship with their child. But simply knowing this information is one thing—learning the tools we can use to increase the likelihood of our child forming a secure attachment bond is entirely another.
I am honored to be joined today by Dr. Miriam Steele, a pioneer in attachment research who is here to help parents move beyond the theory to understand exactly what to do to raise our children with a focus on emotional wellbeing and mental health.
Dr. Steele will share her story, the basics of secure and insecure attachment styles, and how a term called "reflective functioning" is the key to breaking intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment patterns and of promoting healthy development in our children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Getting proper sleep as a new parent can have a huge impact on your mental health and subsequently the health of your infant. But in order for you to get good stretches of sleep, you need your little one to get into a healthy rhythm.
Joining me today to talk about establishing healthy sleep patterns based on our knowledge of child development and biology is Certified Infant and Child Sleep Consultant, founder of My Sleeping Baby, and mother of 3, Eva Klein.
So whether you’re already in your postpartum period or still pregnant and feeling anxiety anticipating those sleepless nights, this episode is one you won’t want to miss.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
It's Securely Attached's 100th episode! To celebrate, this week's show is a deep dive into what this podcast is all about - how understanding the basics of attachment science and child development can make parenting easier and more enjoyable.
I'll give you a crash course in attachment science, dispel the misinterpretations that can make parents feel anxious or guilty, and offer concrete tips for more accurately attuning to your child, which can help them to form a secure attachment bond and promote mental wellness within your child and yourself.
Whether this is your first episode with me or you’ve been here for the full 100, I just want to share a heartfelt thank you. I could not have made it this far in this labor of love without you tuning in, sharing your questions and words of encouragement with me, and passing this resource on to fellow parents. It’s been such a privilege to be in your ears every week for the past 100 weeks—here’s to 100 more! ✨
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
I am celebrating Earth Day by sitting down with stylist Liz Teich to talk fast fashion, sustainability, our excess of clutter, and how we can model living a more sustainable and green lifestyle for our children.
With practical tips for making your wardrobe last longer, to suggestions for carefully curating the pieces and toys in your home, this episode will be the perfect way for you to kick off thinking about manageable shifts you can make to take care of the planet this Earth Day and beyond.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
If the brain is always growing and developing, how can we measure intelligence on a single test? And are there ways in which our intelligence is affected by our DNA, our genes, and our environment?
Joining me today to talk about the genetics behind our intelligence and what the research says about what standardized testing is actually measuring is the author of Rethinking Intelligence, Dr. Rina Bliss.
We'll discuss how and why we measure intelligence in our society and offer parents suggestions for what they can do to support their children as they navigate the education system today.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
In honor of World Autism Month I am speaking with an expert in the field of autism treatment and the author of the new book, Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism, Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel.
Whether your child has Autism or not, her strength-based approach that uses a child's natural interests to drive their motivation and help them tap into their full potential will resonate with parents of children with both neurodiverse and neurotypical brains.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Eve Rodsky's Fair Play method has swept the nation and become a cultural phenomenon. By being intentional about how we definite our roles, rebalancing our to-do list, and feeling aligned with our partners, we are able to challenge societal norms to find a fair balance of the mental load of parenthood that works best for us.
Joining me this week is certified Fair Play method facilitator and LMSW, Lauren A. Tetenbaum.
This episode will help you catalog and understand your unique needs and offer you a framework for communicating them to your partner-in-parenting so that you can strengthen your bond and the feeling of equity and connection within your relationship.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Every postpartum is different! So whether this is your first time being pregnant or you have done this before, surrounding yourself with the proper support during this period of transition is key.
Here to offer you tools for a smoother adjustment is the co-author of Not Your Mother's Postpartum Book and co-creator of @mamapsychologists, Chelsea Bodie.
This episode covers a lot, because honestly, postpartum is a lot — from challenging what society claims it’s supposed to look like, to going back to work, and parenting an infant along with your other kids, we’re diving into it all and tackling what it means to be a modern mama today.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When it comes to childhood development, sleep is not a linear process. It's normal for young children to have ups and downs, regressions, and growth spurts with their sleep.
Here to talk about how you can help your toddler say goodnight without the struggle is sleep specialist and RIE associate Eileen Henry.
Beyond just tips and tricks, this episode will allow you to truly understand how to use your secure attachment bond to help your child feel more at ease with going to bed, and help you feel confident that you are fostering healthy nap time and bedtime skills too.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we become parents, time management strategies become more important than ever! Juggling activities and social calendars for ourselves, with our spouse, and for our children can feel like a full time job.
Here to talk about her approach to systemizing the lives of busy parents in order to help us feel more in control of our days with less stress, overwhelm, and burnout is Chelsi Jo.
From the clutter in our homes to our need to always be busy, and the seemingly never-ending tasks on our to-do lists, this episode will tackle all the emotional and tangible strategies you need to create a routine that works best for you and your unique family.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
The General Social Survey's findings on Americans' happiness levels are troubling. Only 19% of those polled in 2022 said they were very happy, the lowest percentage since this survey began collecting data in 1972.
So what can we do to feel more joy? One huge factor may involve how and how much time we devote to play. Here to discuss ways we can infuse more fun into parenthood is the author of the new book The Fun Habit, Dr. Mike Rucker.
From being intentional about what we choose to focus on, finding ways to play with and without our children, and breaking down the difference between passive and active leisure, this episode will have you walking feeling a renewed sense of optimism, and a game plan for moving past burnout.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Do you feel the pressure to get everything “right”? We know the scientifically proven effects stress has on parents. And what’s more, how this parental stress can negatively impact our children. And yet, we still lack proper support systems for caregivers and families.
Joining me today is Dr. Sterling, a board-certified OB/GYN who has made it her mission to provide comprehensive support to people undergoing the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy and postpartum.
We’ll talk about the mental load of pregnancy and parenthood, strategies moms and dads can use to combat burnout and stress, share stories of our own experiences with symptoms of postpartum anxiety, and offer tips for how you can lean into your own personal strengths to help you more fully enjoy your parenting journey.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Toddlers are often misunderstood. They’re no longer babies, yet they still have very little knowledge of the world and the way things work—something that is easy to forget when we are constantly being blown away by their maturity and developmental leaps at this age.
I am so excited to be joined this week by the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush to talk all things toddlerhood.
We’ll help you learn and understand exactly how you can best support your kiddo through some common toddler situations (like potty training, sharing, becoming a big sibling, and separation anxiety) all of which will help you to walk away from this episode with a deeper understanding of just what life looks like through the eyes of your toddler.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Life is all about who we spend it with. But relationships—with ourselves, our partners, our children, and especially our extended family—can be complicated.
Joining me to talk about his new book, Making Great Relationships, and to offer strategies for fostering healthy, effective, and fulfilling relationships of all kinds is neuropsychologist and NY Times best-selling author, Dr. Rick Hanson.
So whether you are looking to feel deeply connected to your child, learn how to set boundaries with your in-laws, or prioritize your own needs by focusing on 4 concrete and accessible areas that can make a big impact for busy parents, this episode will be helpful for everyone who wants to nurture their relationships!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions about postpartum psychosis, infanticide, and suicide.
As the tragic news of the mother of 3 in MA who took the lives of her children and then attempted to take her own life has spread, there has been a great deal of misunderstanding in the media and on social media.
In order to prevent the spread of misinformation, I invited Paige Bellenbaum of the Motherhood Center to join me today to help clarify the difference between postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis, and offer psychologically-informed information to help people more fully understand maternal mental health.
While difficult, it is important to have these conversations, to understand the symptoms associated with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), to have compassion for those affected, and to know where to find support if you or someone you love is struggling with any form of PMAD.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
How can you raise your children to be resilient, confident, and proud when you are raising them in a non-traditional family? And how can everyone raise our children to value inclusivity and acceptance no matter what shape or size our family is?
I am honored that Dr. Erica Miller is back on the podcast to share her personal story of being a gay parent and the lessons she has learned from her own experience and her professional role as a clinical psychologist.
There is no one way to be a family and there is no right way to be a family. This episode will help you be intentional about raising your children to be compassionate and to stand up for what’s right while offering practical strategies for answering tricky questions and navigating complex social situations.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When our kids hit 3 years old we can start to see some new behaviors and attitudes come online. At this age children often want to exert their power and independence, and seem to find a new favorite word—“no!”
Back on the podcast to help a listener and any parents who are looking for help navigating what some refer to as the “threenager” stage is Dr. Emily Upshur.
In this episode, we’ll help you understand why this is developmentally healthy, what you can do during power struggles and outside the heat of the moment to reduce them, and how our own mindset can influence our child’s behavior.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Working parents have traditionally been forced to compartmentalize their roles. Make sure we don't hear the baby crying on the Zoom. Be fully present as a parent without any distractions or interruptions. But we are whole beings, with both of those vital parts integrated to form who we are.
Here to help parents bridge that gap and shift the narrative to see how being both career-driven AND family-focused can be an incredible strength is Daisy Dowling. Daisy is the Founder & CEO of Workparent and the author of Workparent: The Complete Guide to Succeeding on the Job, Staying True to Yourself, and Raising Happy Kids.
Whether you are an employee, entrepreneur, freelancer, or employer, this episode will cover practical strategies you can use to help you create an ideal home and office environment that support your needs as a whole person.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
From striking up conversations with other parents at the playground, hosting playdates with our child’s new best friend, attending a birthday party without knowing the other parents there, and even just navigating the perceived (and sometimes very real) judgment from others, once we become parents we often find ourselves in social situations we may never have been in before.
Here to help parents work through any social anxiety they may feel and learn how they can best support the development of their child’s social skills in spite of a parent's own fears, is therapist Justine Carino.
Whether you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, or just feel uneasy about the idea of engaging in new social situations on behalf of your child, this episode will help you identify the problem and begin to challenge those fears.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Family planning isn’t easy for all parents. And having an uncomplicated or full-term pregnancy once does not guarantee the same results the next time around.
Parenting while coping with any form of reproductive loss, be that unsuccessful IVF attempts, miscarriages, stillbirths, and beyond can be a grueling reality for many families.
Here to discuss how to navigate fertility struggles in parenthood is clinical psychologist Dr. Shara Brofman.
If you are going through something like this right now, my hope is that this episode will help you feel understood and validated and offer you strategies for coping with grief, finding ways to move forward, and seeking aligned resources for support.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Are you dreading your upcoming family trip? Traveling with kids can be a lot to handle and the stress of this can leave us feeling defeated, even before we board the plane or hit the road.
So joining me this week to help you feel prepared and ready for traveling with your kids is the queen of play herself, Jennie Monness.
In this episode, we’ll help you set proper expectations for travel days, give you strategies based on psychology and child development, and suggest practical toys and play prompts that can make for a smoother trip this holiday season and beyond!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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It's developmentally normal, even typical, for toddlers and young children to bite. But that doesn't mean we just sit back and let it happen.
Here to talk about the many reasons children bite and how parents can effectively respond to this behavior is the co-founder of Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur.
In this episode we’ll talk about exactly what to do when your child bites, plan b and c for when that strategy isn’t working, and advice for what to do before and after the bite occurs to work toward preventing it from happening again in the future.
Whether your child bites every now and then or this is a pattern you aren’t sure how to break, this episode will offer you strategies you won’t want to miss!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
One of the things that I hear time and time again from parents is that it feels like parenthood is a constant tightrope walk. And knowing how to meet our children’s curiosity about sex without projecting our own (often complicated) feelings onto the conversation is certainly no exception.
Here to offer some clarity on how we can set developmentally appropriate expectations of our kids and gentle expectations of ourselves when it comes to talking to them about sex is Dr. Holly Richmond.
From learning language that can help keep your child safe, when and how to set appropriate boundaries, and how to introduce the concept of consent to young children, in this episode we will offer you a framework that you can use no matter your comfort level, so you can introduce topics related to sexual health in a manner that feels authentic and genuine to you.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When our children feel anxious or afraid, it can be difficult for parents to know exactly how they should respond. Many parents put pressure on themselves to solve or fix this problem for their child, which is often impossible and a less than ideal way to handle this tricky situation.
Joining me to talk about childhood anxiety and offer support for parents navigating this in their own family is the author of Goodbye, Anxiety: A Guided Journal for Overcoming Worry, Dr. Terri Bacow.
You’ll learn a framework you can use that will work toward helping your child learn to cope with their anxiety, rather than avoiding their fear, and factors to help you determine if and when it’s time to seek professional support.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
As parents, we don’t always get it right. But having the tools and skills to process our own big feelings and navigate emotion regulation in ourselves can have a big impact on how we support our children.
Joining me to talk about ways we can establish a healthy relationship to our emotions and teach our children to do the same is the founder of Curious Neuron, Dr. Cindy Hovington.
This episode will help you learn the benefit of slowing down, how to cut yourself some slack, and why the best way of teaching is through modeling. You’ll hear a psychologist and neuroscientist with 5 kids between them share their own relatable experiences with parenthood and offer strategies for using language, physiology, and brain science to create a honest and balanced approach to emotion regulation.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resource
While it’s wonderful that there is much more talk about postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and other perineal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) than ever before, the flip side of that coin is that sometimes when new parents experience a PMAD after the birth of their child they feel ashamed for not seeing it coming.
The reality is there is nothing you did or didn’t do that causes you to have a PMAD. However, there are ways to prepare, and strategies to use during the postpartum period to help you prioritize your mental health.
Joining me this week is Dr. Kira Bartlett, a licensed clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience and the founder and director of A Bridge Home.
Whether or not you have a PMAD, bringing home a new baby is a challenge. You’re exhausted, emotional, and often overwhelmed. This episode will teach you mindfulness strategies you can use to help you stay grounded and present during the postpartum period and throughout your child’s entire lifespan.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
We talk a lot about secure attachment on this podcast—which is certainly the best case scenario. But the reality is that not everyone forms a secure attachment bond. So what can we learn about insecure attachment patterns? And are there some forms of insecure attachments that are better than others?
Here to answer these questions and discuss the finding of his research on attachment theory is Dr. Or Dagan.
Whether you’ve never heard about attachment theory before or you’re deep in the trenches of unpacking your own attachment style and working to re-parenting yourself, this conversation where we dispel some of the most common fears and anxieties about attachment theory that have parents striving for perfection (and beating themselves up when they inevitably can’t hit that), discuss the difference between separation anxiety and insecure attachment, and translate the current studies to be simple, relatable and applicable to your everyday life will have you feeling confident and empowered in your parenting!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
RIE, which stands for Resources for Infant Educarers, is a parenting philosophy created by Magda Gerber that has gained a lot of attention in recent years. Yet, there are still some common misconceptions many parents have about this approach.
Here to shed some light on the teachings of RIE is the founder of Beech Street Parenting, Courtney Dern.
If you are pregnant or a new parent, you won’t want to miss hearing why you actually need way less stuff than you may think, strategies for setting your child up with independent open-ended play opportunities from the start (plus why this is beneficial for their development), and the importance of slowing down to support your baby's natural curiosity and exploration of the world around them.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Were you uninvited to a birthday party, laughed at by a group of mean girls, or maybe even bullied? If you had some tough times in elementary, middle, or high school, it’s easy to inadvertently be projecting your own experiences onto your child as they develop their own social group.
Last week’s Securely Attached episode was all about peer rejection in toddlerhood—how to make space for a dialogue, develop a growth mindset, and help your child build their compassion, empathy, and social awareness.
While the fundamentals are the same, peer rejection in elementary or pre-teen child years can be much more nuanced. So Dr. Emily Upshur of Upshur Bren Psychology Group is back to help parents of older kiddos learn how best to support them, when to step in, how much emotional scaffolding to provide, and some key indicators that it may be time to seek professional help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we hear our children say things like, “I don’t want to play with her” or “that’s my toy” it’s easy for us to feel flooded and want to shut down the situations with comments like, “that’s not very nice” or “you need to share.”
But peer rejection is a normal and healthy part of development. While it may take some work for us to calm our own fight or flight response so we can be open to this, it can be helpful to try to lean in and open up a dialogue with our children in these instances so that we may build their compassion, empathy and social awareness.
Joining me today is the co-founder of our practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We’ll dive deep into many of the ways we can do this with our young children, offering you tools and thought provoking prompts—whether your child is the aggressor or the recipient—to help you and your child navigate peer rejection.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to [email protected] ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Human evolution is incredible. We come out of the womb knowing that our greatest chance of survival is to attach to a primary caretaker who will keep us safe. And that innate wisdom is what motivates children to seek closeness and connection to their secure base.
When children suffer from an anxiety disorder the threat detector in their brain is on overdrive and more and more they rely on their parents to protect and soothe them. And while parents have the best intentions, this interpersonal dance can actually serve to increase the severity and frequency of anxiety in children.
Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center has pioneered a new treatment that interrupts that dance! By altering the way parents respond to their child when they are in distress, rather than fueling the flames of anxiety, parents are able to lessen the symptoms, all without asking their child to change his or her behavior in any way.
SPACE has been a game changer in my private practice and I was delighted when Dr. Lebowitz agreed to come on the podcast to discuss the incredible work he is doing and the amazing results they are seeing.
If you are interested in learning more about the work that Upshur Bren Psychology Group is doing to treat child anxiety and OCD with SPACE, go to upshurbren.com/space.
When we teach our young children to slow down, to notice their emotions, then equip them with tools for navigating their tricky feelings like disappointment, impatience, boredom, sadness, or anger, we lay the foundation for a kinder and more empathetic society.
It was an honor to speak to Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneer in the field of psychology and the study of mindfulness.
It all starts with us! We’ll talk about mindset shifts parents can make to foster self-compassion and ways we can aid in developing our children’s social and emotional learning.
We’ll also talk about Dr. Siegel’s new books, how we can reshape our brain through mindfulness, and the role this plays in helping us develop a connection to ourselves, our peers and the entire interconnected world we’re all a part of.
I walked away from our conversation feeling optimistic, empowered and ready to take on the challenges that await us all in life, and I think you will too!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
It can be difficult and scary to talk about death as adults, so having to do so with our kids can cause us to freeze up and shut down. But by being open and honest about death, an inevitable part of life, we lay the groundwork our children need to develop the tools to process loss and work through feelings of grief and pain.
Here to help us unpack our own anxiety, so we may break cycles of avoidance and fear, is death doula Heather Hogan.
If you’ve never heard of a death doula, don’t worry, we’ll kick off our conversation talking about what exactly that is. Then we’ll get into the importance of introducing the concept of death to our children early in life, strategies to avoid projecting your own feelings and fears onto them, developmentally appropriate resources and books you can use to introduce these concepts, and more.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
There can be many reasons why children may experience prolonged separations from a parent. From planned separations like for military families or when one parent must take a job far away, to unplanned situations in the case of mental illness, substance abuse or abandonment.
I’ve received several listener questions asking for guidance on how to best help their child process and work through their parental abandonment issues, so here to offer insight on this subject is Dr. Emily Upshur.
What we know from attachment science and psychological research allows us, as a consistent presence in our child’s life, to use strategies and establish action plans that best support children who are struggling with an unstable parent in ways that can foster resilience, empathy and lifelong emotional wellbeing, in spite of this challenge.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we become parents for the second or third time, one of the most common experiences (that people often don't talk about) is the grief parents feel for their big kiddo and the changes that are about to rock their world. That is just one of the many emotions, challenges and joys that come with expanding our families.
Here to talk about what it was like for her to transition from one child to two, is model, mom and co-founder of Wander Beauty, Lindsay Ellingson.
From growing her family, navigating sibling dynamics, finding a work-life balance, learning strategies for the inevitable toddler tantrums and making time for self-care, this conversation is a relatable look at motherhood today.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
During the pandemic, "burnout" became a trendy buzzword getting thrown around social media, blogs, and moms groups. But what is the actual medical definition of burnout and how can learning about what it is help us to move out of the never ending state of exhaustion many parents are faced with today?
Joining me to clear the confusion and offer strategies for finding balance is Board Certified Physician Assistant and the founder of Run Tell Mom, Shelley Kemmerer.
The cure to burnout is not about quick fixes or a day at the spa; we’ll talk about the personal and systemic changes that need to be implemented and prioritized in order to support an entire generation of parents faced with unreasonably high expectations and battling constant parenting guilt.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
The stereotypes surrounding fatherhood often revolve around a disengaged father figure described as “baby-sitting” their own child, lacking deep emotions, and blindly following their wife’s advice.
But that is far from the reality for most modern-day fathers. Here to give us that often elusive real dad perspective is father of two and therapist, Eli Weinstein.
Eli will give us a peek into the mind of a dad, discuss the importance of men finding their own community of support, and share the strategies he and his wife have implemented to help them create a true partnership in parenthood.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
In preschool, learning is far less about the ABC’s and 1,2,3’s and far more about developing an awareness of yourself and the world around you. Knowing how to best support your child and help them feel more comfortable transitioning to a school environment can be instrumental in setting them up for success.
Joining me this week to help parents learn how to guide their children through this transition is the co-director of the Downtown Little School, Meredith Gary.
From strategies for dealing with separation anxiety, to helpful tips to get your child out the door in the morning, to ways to foster your child’s connection to their teacher, this episode will help you feel prepared for the start of preschool!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Science has shown that the best way to help our kids become independent, confident, kind, empathetic, and happy is by talking with them. But while we may know that what we say to our children matters, we may not know exactly how to get started or what to do to encourage honest, open and thoughtful communication.
Here to help parents learn the secrets of effective communication is speech pathologist, Rebecca Rolland.
This episode will help you to understand just how powerful language can be and teach you to actionable techniques for fostering authentic and natural conversations with your children, no matter their age, that can lead to the development of a strong and secure attachment bond.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Whether potty training isn’t going as planned, or you’re just nervous about gearing up to undertake your child’s’ transition out of diapers, that added pressure, frustration and anxiety can create a vicious cycle, making potty learning more difficult— for you and your child.
Here to offer a podcast style “potty class” for parents so they can identify potential problem areas (physically and emotionally), and avoid potty training pitfalls, is the owner of Aloha Integrative Therapy, Occupational Therapist Quiara Smith.
Quiara shares incredible insights about when it’s time (or more importantly when it’s too early) to start potty training, the importance of coregulation, and she breaks down the basics of our child’s anatomy and physiology so we can effectively support them through everything from bedwetting to constipation or whatever toileting or pelvic health challenges may lay ahead.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Moms are overwhelmed, exhausted and burnt out. There is a major lacking in systems to support new, working and stay-at-home moms… so basically, that's every mother.
It is important for us to fight for change, but the weight of that constant battle and stream of seemingly never-ending bad news can feel too heavy to carry at times.
Joining me to discuss the advocacy work The Chamber of Mothers is doing, ways you can get involved, and how to find joy in an often turbulent world is the founder of Working Momtras, Raena Boston. If you’ve been feeling helpless or hopeless in light of recent events, I hope this episode makes you feel empowered and renewed in its collective call to action and message of togetherness.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Being intentional about the way we parent our young children now can help lay critical groundwork that will allow them to flourish in adulthood. Lessons like independence, self-confidence, and resilience can all be fostered through helping to build emotional intelligence in our kids.
Joining me to discuss how you can help prepare your own children to tackle life in the real world is mother of 4 and Family Life & Leadership Coach, Nellie Harden.
We’ll talk about why and how you can use your parent-child relationship as an incredibly effective motivator for kids, how to help children understand the difference between fair and equal by breaking it down into terms they can understand, how trusting in your children teaches them to trust in themselves, and many other valuable lessons every parent will want to learn!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Parenting in an age of ever changing technology—battling over screen time use, deciding when to allow your child to have a smart phone, and understanding how much screen time is too much—can be confusing for parents of children of all ages.
Joining me today to help parents learn to cut through the confusion and successfully navigate parenting in the digital age is The Screentime Consultant, Emily Cherkin.
If you want to understand why screens are so addictive, how to help our children establish healthy relationships with technology, and techniques for transitioning them off of their devices without a meltdown (most of the time) then this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
A few weeks ago I recorded an amazing episode on sex and intimacy after baby with The WTF Trimester creator, Chelsea Skaggs. And it seemed to hit a nerve, because I received tons of feedback from that episode! For some of you, learning how to communicate your needs to your partner in a way they would be able to hear you was just what you needed. But I also got some DMs from moms who are facing a different problem when it comes to sex in early parenthood…
Whether after the birth of a child, or a few years down the road, parents can sometimes feel themselves pulled in so many directions that at the end of the day, they find it difficult to have anything left to give. This can be especially true for postpartum mamas.
So this week's episode is filled with actionable strategies and mindset shifts that you can make if you are feeling touched out, overstimulated or anxious about intimacy. These can help you to feel connected to yourself so you are open to having a vulnerable and deep connection with your partner. This is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
There is no shortage of doctor visits and wellness checks during your child’s first few years. And that can cause some apprehension and anxiety for both parents and children.
I am so excited to welcome my family’s own pediatrician, Dr. Rachel Geronemus, onto the podcast to fill us all in on what pediatricians want parents to know! This conversation is chalk full of helpful tips, like what you can expect at your child’s next doctor's appointment, developmentally appropriate expectations to set, and strategies you can implement weeks and days ahead of their next visit to make for a more calm and enjoyable experience for you both.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
For many couples, the birth of a child can bring with it a shift in their intimate relationship. Having a child triggers such a sudden and massive transition to our identity, our body and sometimes even our sex drive, so it makes perfect sense that new parents can often find themselves on different pages when it comes to intimacy and sex.
And that is just one of the reasons I am so excited to talk about ways couples can rebuild connection and intimacy in their relationship with life coach and the creator of the WTF Trimester, Chelsea Skaggs.
It’s not about where you’ve been, but about acknowledging where you are now and where you’d like to go. Chelsea will share some powerful suggestions and step-by-step guidance for working to get back your spark, combating some of the most common sources of postpartum sex anxiety, and working on your inner growth to help you feel more confident and assured in your own skin.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Executive functioning skills are the systems, structures and routines we establish in our daily life that make us successful. Do you always put the mail on the end table when you walk in the door? That’s a perfect example of this.
These skills are housed within the prefrontal cortex and that part of the brain isn’t fully developed until we are in our 20s! So all children, whether they are neurotypical or struggle with an executive functioning skills deficit like ADHD, can benefit from exercising this “muscle.”
This week I am talking with the cofounder of our group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur along with our executive functioning coach, Donna Jarecki, to offer parents easy and fun suggestions they can use all summer long that will build upon this skillset. We’ll also discuss the brain science of executive functioning and how what might seem like behavioral issues may actually be a sign of an executive function deficit, plus when it’s time to consider bringing in additional support.
Want to explore if executive functioning coaching may be a good fit for you or your child? Check out upshurbren.com to learn more.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Raising children today in a world saturated with guns, active shooter drills at school and mass shootings on the news can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and unsure.
I wanted to talk directly to you about the psychology and developmental aspect of aggression and the impact of both toy and real guns on our children and society at large. This isn’t about me telling you what is right or wrong, good or bad, what you should or shouldn’t do with your own child, but simply about arming you with some fundamental information so you can make informed and conscious decisions for yourself.
Many of my patients in the past few weeks have been expressing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness in the wake of the horrific incident in Uvalde, Texas. If you or your child are struggling with these feelings too, stay tuned to the end of the episode when I’ll suggest some actionable strategies you can use to work toward shifting those feelings to ones of empowerment.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
As our children grow into the people they will be, so too do we grow into the parents we become. Alexis Barad-Cutler, the founder of Not Safe For Mom Group, found herself in that very situation when her youngest child, Gavi, expressed the need to be the “real Gavi” at 3-years-old.
In this episode Alexis shares her raw and powerful story of leaning in and learning how to support her gender nonconforming child in a way that makes them feel seen, accepted and loved. Whether you are finding yourself questioning how best to support your child through any type of adversity or you’re just curious to learn more about the topic of gender identity and how it can present in children, this is an episode centered on the universally relatable truth of one parent’s love.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably already at least somewhat versed in the styles of positive, gentle, respectful or responsive parenting. But whatever you call it, there are many societal misconceptions about what these styles are. Here to help me bust some myths and dig into the research and brain science behind why we're shifting past behaviorism is Sarah R. Moore. From intergenerational transmission of parenting styles, redefining our goals, and the importance of strengthening mental and emotional health in our children, you won't want to miss this deep dive into WHY these new parenting styles are effective.
And go ahead and share this episode with anyone in your life who isn't quite on board with positive parenting or feels it's too permissive. This is a safe space free of shame and judgment - we're all just doing the best we can!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Establishing and holding boundaries can be challenging, especially when those limits need to be set within family units.
Dr. Emily Upshur, my partner from our group practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group in Westchester, NY is back to help one mom who writes in looking for help establishing boundaries with her in-laws. We’ll talk about strategies for engaging grandparents while also maintaining appropriate boundaries, the difference between internal and external boundaries and how you can integrate both into your life, and concrete steps for addressing excessive gift giving, unaligned parenting values, opposing political views and more.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Finding a therapist who you trust and who can offer you proper support can be a complicated process for many people. One of the reasons for this is the confusing and sometimes even misleading terms used in the field of mental health.
Joining me today is research psychologist and medical staff member at the Austen Riggs Center, Dr. Katie C. Lewis. We’ll discuss the differences and similarities between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy, how to determine which treatment modality is right for your unique family, and arm you with the knowledge you need for finding a therapist that will best support your goals and honor your parenting values, whether your seeking treatment for yourself or your child.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I want to highlight the importance of finding trusted resources women can turn to for maternal mental health support through pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum.
Joining me today is Dr. Tracy Shevell. We’ll discuss her almost 20 years of experience in a hospital setting that led her to believe the system is broken and the how she’s working to change this by creating Blue Moon Perinatal. We’ll also review her 3-step process to help expecting parents feel informed and confident going into their OB-GYN appointments, whether they are having a typical or high risk pregnancy.
Dr. Tracy (00:00):
And I realized that most of my doctoring was being done outside of really being a doctor in some ways. It was more helping women just navigate their experience.
Dr. Sarah (00:19):
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And last week was Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. While it's necessary to dedicate a period of time to really highlight this need. It's also so important to carry on these conversations and offer women's support throughout the entire year. And that is exactly what my next guest is doing. Dr. Tracy Shevell is a maternal-fetal medicine specialist with almost 20 years of experience. And she's the founder of Blue Moon Perinatal. No matter who you are, where you live, or where you fall on your maternal health journey. There are some universal takeaways that we can all benefit from and use to find appropriate sources for support, and we're gonna cover them all.
Dr. Sarah (00:58):
Hi, I'm Dr. Sarah Bren, a clinical psychologist and mom of two. In this podcast, I've taken all of my clinical experience, current research on brain science and child psychology and the insights I've gained on my own parenting journey and distilled everything down into easy to understand and actionable parenting insights. So you can tune out the noise and tune into your own authentic parenting voice with confidence and calm. This is Securely Attached.
Dr. Sarah (01:31):
Hi, we have a very special guest on today's podcast. I'm so excited to introduce you guys to Dr. Tracy Shevell. She is a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, and she specialized specifically in high risk OB-GYN. And she is the founder of Blue Moon Perinatal, which is an amazing resource for women who are experiencing any type of high risk pregnancy or postpartum. So I'm just so excited to have you on today. Thank you for being here.
Dr. Tracy (01:59):
Thank you. I'm so happy to be on. I'm really looking forward to, to talking about a lot of things that need to be talked about. So thank you for bringing me in here.
Dr. Sarah (02:10):
Yeah. This is gonna be, this is gonna be a little heavy of an episode, but I think it's gonna be very, very juicy in a, in a kind of messed up way. And I'll explain, but like, cuz we're gonna talk about a broken system is what we're really gonna talk about today, which is unfortunate. But there are disruptors trying to fix this broken system and I feel like that's kind of what you're doing.
Dr. Tracy (02:33):
Yeah. I completely agree. I mean, one thing I wanna point out before we talk about the broken system is that the system is not broken and I want women that are listening to this to understand this, the system is not broken because your doctors don't care about you. The system is broken, not because your doctors are disengaged or aren't interested. It's something is beyond that. It's something that's out of most doctors' control and we'll get a little bit into sort of why. But you know, I think that it's, it's a much larger picture, like you said, and it's a system error, not a physician error because your doctors care and they're struggling as well. And so that's, you know, I just wanted to make sure that I said that before we said anything else. Because again, it's really important for moms to know, like their doctors care. And that's not the disconnect, it's, it's a much bigger issue it's bureaucratic and it's systemwide and that's really frustrating and I'm not much of a disruptor. I've been a good girl my whole life, but I've had to become a disruptor because I can't handle systems being broken and failing women.
Dr. Sarah (03:47):
Yes. So let's talk about like what, what you do and how you got to this.
Dr. Tracy (03:52):
Sure. so I, you know, as I just sort of alluded to, I sort of followed the very traditional good girl path for a long time. I grew up wanting to be a doctor, went to, you know, medical school fell in love with OB and really had a tremendously satisfying career for a very long time. I trained in the city, I worked in our community hospital and I I was at a local hospital for my entire career for 16 years and I dealt with two things. I dealt primarily with prenatal diagnosis. So I saw a lot of women where we discussed, you know, ultrasound findings. And we got referrals for patients who had abnormal findings. And we would often do, you know, tests, amniocentesis or CVS and talk about complicated issues and scary things. And then on the other side, I would help doctors whose patients had complications come up and I would help them care for their own patients to maintain that relationship that we, you know, alluded to earlier and help them manage their patients when they got sick. So if a woman had preeclampsia or diabetes of pregnancy or something else really scary going on on the labor floor or postpartum, I would get involved as a specialist and I would become that patient's team provider. So their doctor was still in the loop and was still taking care of them, but I was helping manage the situation. And, you know, I dealt with some very, very intense things and it was an incredibly, incredibly rewarding job. But you know, over the last five to 10 years, things changed dramatically and that's how blue moon perinatal came about. I started to see patients coming into my office who understood less and less why they were there, who had a more and more difficult time reaching their doctor because their doctor was now in a 10 person practice and they had to call a call center. Someone would answer the phone in, I don't know, you know, Chicago and it would take, you know, 10 layers of bureaucracy to get through to their doctor to discuss their results or discuss what we had talked about doing. And that became more and more frustrating because I wanted to make sure that the women that I saw were informed that they understood what was going on and we'd spend half our time talking about logistics.
Dr. Sarah (06:12):
Yeah. And these women are being diagnosed with things that are not typical. Like, you know, oh, this is my regular 30 week checkup. This is like, we're dealing with things that are scary. That can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear and other types of mood issues in women because this isn't this, you know, these are very vulnerable patients that you're dealing with.
Dr. Tracy (06:36):
Absolutely right, Sarah. And you know, when you add to the mix, the fact that, this was a main driver for me. I started to realize that like the whole system in place for getting your care was starting to break doctors. Weren't doing solo practice anymore. They were joining larger groups. So now you'd have, you know, instead of your one doctor that was probably gonna deliver, you you'd have bigger groups of doctors. Those doctors were then being kind of encouraged. And I use that word very gently were being encouraged to, for their own, you know, sort of ability to keep up, see more and more patients. The larger groups of OB-GYNs were then being encouraged to join multi-specialty groups because the larger the group, the more pull you had with insurance companies. And now all of a sudden your relationship is so diluted that, you know, it makes it even harder. And when you combine that with the fact that we about, you know, 10 years ago, started to be tasked with really paying attention to the fact that one in seven women during pregnancy will be diagnosed with a mood or anxiety disorder. Now, I don't wanna, you know, curse on your podcast, but now we've really got like a crap storm. Right. So we're in this system now supposed to also check to make sure if by the way, are you depressed or anxious about the news you've been given or just about your pregnancy, and we're not really prepared to answer the questions. So you put those two things together and you've really got a perfect storm. So I, you know, I started working in the system where I wanted to do more and more. I had a huge toolbox of mental health resources and holistic resources, and it just was becoming impossible to use them within the system.
Dr. Sarah (08:29):
Yeah. Because, so what you have like 15 minutes with a patient.
Dr. Tracy (08:33):
It's, you know, and I even had the luxury of having more time. I worked for a hospital, so I didn't have to see 50 patients in a day, but the patients that I saw just needed so much education and so much more than I was able to give, you know, I just was giving out my phone number, constantly talking to patients, you know, all the time. And it was about things that just, you know, were super basic. Like just having an empathetic listener or having someone re-explain what had been explained in lay terms one more time. And I realized that most of my doctoring was being done outside of really being a doctor in some ways. It was more helping women just navigate their experience. Yes. And then I realized, why not make this, you know, COVID hit, we went online, the mental health system went online. And I thought to myself, this could really be an opportunity to change the system really from the inside out.
Dr. Sarah (09:37):
Yes. And it's, it's interesting cuz like you and I both treat perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, but we come at it from such a different place. And even just the people who come to us are probably slightly different. And I'm so curious, like I wanna know about Blue Moon Perinatal and like what, because you are this amazing hybrid of, you know, you are an OB GYN with a tremendous knowledge, like field knowledge of like some of the scariest stuff that can happen in pregnancy and in postpartum. But you also, like, we both did the Postpartum Support International like intensive training in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. And I was like, it's so nice to met an OB-GYN who is trained in that because it's very rare.
Dr. Tracy (10:26):
Thank you. Yeah, I think so. So to that point, you know, there are places in the country where they have reproductive psychiatrists and a lot of OB GYNs, you know, have had a special interest in mood and anxiety disorders. However, for me, it was a very natural extension of 20 years of giving bad news or being there in a scary time or, you know, just being part of a very emotionally intense situation. And I found that, you know, my, the hybrid of sort of information that I've gained over the years, both about psychology and about medicine is, is something that allows me and, and I too am a mother and have gone through some really scary times myself. And so knowing that I had sort of that hybrid, I felt that blue moon perinatal really had a special niche. And there are going to be many things that come in to try to disrupt the system that are app based that will help patients kind of try to navigate the system. But Blue Moon Perinatal is something that is very unique, I think. And I hope because it's so intimate and it's really woman to woman or woman to partner. I always say, if you wanna bring your partner online, like that's one of the benefits of having a practice like I do. And my practice is not one or the other. It's both, you know, I offer women, the clients that I am looking to engage are women who really just feel lost. You know, whether they've received a diagnosis or they really just want extra support to kind of say, okay, let's let's center, you know, what do I need to look at at the next visit? What do I need to ask my doctor? What does this test mean? How do I handle feeling anxious right now? It doesn't necessarily mean that I'll do your therapy but I'm gonna be your cruise director. You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be your high class, overly trained cruise director who can really speak to your medical fears, your medical concerns, but also help you with your emotional needs too. And I think you're right. I think it's a unique combination of interests, but it's why I feel like this is such a passion project for me.
Dr. Sarah (12:50):
Yeah. So let's get clear on what exactly that you do. So if people are listening, they can like look, cuz this does not exist really at all, what you do. And so like my understanding and correct me if I'm wrong is that women who are experiencing some type of diagnosis in their pregnancy that they need help understanding whether it's mundane or very, very scary, and that's subjective, frankly, but who feel like they need more, you know, medical advisement than they can get with their doctor, who they would still continue to see. Right. You still, they still have their OB who's gonna be, you know, managing the pregnancy from a medical perspective, but you are like this adjunctive support that can, that basically consults and helps people process what's going on and then connect them to the resources that they need. Is that, am I getting that right?
Dr. Tracy (13:48):
That's a great, absolutely right. So the way that I work is I offer either one session, if somebody has a directed question or I offer five hour packages of time where, you know, a client can use those five hours, however, they wish to spread them out into 15, 30 minutes, 45 minutes. And then I offer a larger 10 hour package where if somebody wants me to be involved for the whole pregnancy or they have a really intense issue and that time is yours to use. And I want women to sort of think of me as you know, there, what if, what if your best friend happened to also be a doctor, that's really what I want to be viewed as. I know it sounds weird to become best friends with strangers, but in the era of social media, you make relationships with people that you never even sort of meet. And now zoom has added a crazy element to that. So, just to give you an example, I've had clients call me who have who are struggling through infertility treatments and just need an ear. They need someone to help them sort of oversee sort of what they're going through and what are they missing, or maybe they just need to vent, or maybe they need help finding a therapist or someone who's seen the big picture. Some of my clients have medical issues. They've had either complex pregnancies in the past, or they have a preexisting mood disorder. I'm not afraid of any of that or I have a lot of people are. And I love people who do the work that you do, Sarah, because it's so important. And it's so, so, so needed right now. I also have clients who struggle with with situations, for example, you know, I have a client who I'm, I'm working with right now who is dealing with sort of decision making about how to pursue a next pregnancy, or how to pursue family planning, because she's had some complications in the past. So when a client signs up to work with me, we, I will not be their doctor. I go completely based on the patient's history, if they need to show me a lab result or, or show me something on a portal, I will look at it, but I do not provide medical recommendations. I'm not really like a second opinion service, but I will give you an overview of sort of recapping your care and asking sort of you to tell me how you understand your situation. And then within that framework, we'll talk about, okay, these are the things that I'd like you to read instead of going blindly on Google, let's look together at what the American college of OB-GYN says about treating preterm labor. And we will look together and look at the language and go from there. And sometimes we'll strategize. These are the things I'm gonna ask my doctor at our next visit. And these are the things that I need to walk away with this information, that information, this is the type of support person I need in my life. I need a social worker, I need a psychologist. I need an acupuncturist. This is gonna make me feel better. I need to be walking for 10 minutes a day. I need to be journaling, or I need something totally off the beaten path. You know, a healer, a someone who works with energy medicine you know, I can talk about all of that. And then we try to really brainstorm about how to make your experience better and easier and clearer.
Dr. Sarah (17:27):
Clearer. It sounds like you're this, like this targeted educational guide.
Dr. Tracy (17:33):
Correct. And, and a support system. I mean, you know, I got very used to, when I, when I was working in the hospital, I had two boxes of tissues on my desk. And people, people used to joke. People would always walk outta my office crying, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Right. Like, you know, there's so much that we hold in during pregnancy. There's so much, we don't express there's so much. I don't want that to be the case. Women need to feel their feelings, especially when they're pregnant or trying to get pregnant or dealing with, like you said, a scary diagnosis or scary piece of information. And I will say, Sarah, I just wanna add one more thing. You know, this, this does make, my goal is also to make your OB-GYNs job easier. Right. Because if your OB-GYN has 15 minutes, and you ask the four important questions and you leave, and that doctor gets to write a note in their chart, that you reviewed all the relevant points. Well, that doctor just did a really great job with your 15 minutes, and everybody's gonna be happier.
Dr. Sarah (18:39):
Yes. I mean, I'm like in this field and know a lot about pregnancy, and I remember going into my doctor, I'm like, I don't even know what I'm supposed to ask right now. They'll be like, do you have any questions? I'm like, I don't know, should I have questions? Like you tell me? And it would be, I think it would be nice to feel more educated. And I certainly, if I was in a situation where part of my pregnant was higher risk, I would feel, I would feel really nervous about not knowing what to ask and wasting that time. The very limited time that I had. So like, I like this idea of being able to have like this place outside of those limited timed appointments to be able to figure out, okay, how do I use that 15 minutes with my doctor as wisely as I possibly can maximize that time with them. And to your point, that's helpful for the doctor too.
Dr. Tracy (19:29):
Yes. Absolutely.
Dr. Sarah (19:30):
And, and, and so that feels so valuable and, you know, it makes me think too, like, okay, so if someone is listening to this podcast and they're like, okay, I have, I know what you're talking about. This scary news resonates with me and I feel anxiety. And I'm, you know, like what are things that we can kind of help people walk away from this episode today with like some tools or some strategies, you know, for knowing how to do this kind of research on their own? Like, let's say they, you know, they're DIYing this for right now.
Dr. Tracy (20:09):
Yes.
Dr. Sarah (20:10):
What can people do? What are the things that you would recommend a woman who's received a scary diagnosis? You know, at some point early in their pregnancy, or or has maybe gone through a lot of, you know, attempts to get pregnant and is really struggling. And what are some things that they can do to, you know, inform themselves so that when they do have an opportunity to meet with their doctor, they are using that time as wisely as they possibly can.
Dr. Tracy (20:37):
That is a great question. And before I answer that, I just wanna make clear that my goal with Blue Moon is to help as many women as I can. And while right now it's going, it's, I have a private practice model. This is something that I want to be successful to take to the next level, because this service needs to exist for women at a bigger level. And I believe that it will. And to answer your question, I think it's really important for women to do three things on their own, with support, whatever, but to answer your question, what can they do on their own? Number one is always educate. So the question is rather than going to Google, if you don't have someone to go over the, you know, recent ACOG guidelines with you, which is totally okay. And what everybody probably is dealing with, ask your doctor when I leave your office, where do you want me to find information about thing X that you just mentioned? Do you have a resource? Do you have a recommendation for what I should be reading? That's number one. So how do you educate yourself? Ask your doctor how they'd like you to learn more. You can acknowledge to the doctor. I know we don't have a lot of time, and I'd like to educate myself a little bit more outside. What do you want me to do? How should I do that? And that's a fair and easy answer. Maybe it's a pamphlet they'll give you, and then you go out with what they want you to know. So again, number one is educate. Number two is to feel empowered, really important. Please do not ever say to your doctor. I'm sorry, but. We tend to do that a lot as women. We tend to apologize for asking questions. Like you're growing a human that's a huge job, right? So please don't say, I'm sorry, but I have one more question. Come in ahead of time, empowered with the questions that you know that you have, or Sarah, to your point, come in and say, I don't know what questions I should be asking you. What are the five things you want me to leave here knowing today?
Dr. Sarah (22:45):
Oh, I love that.
Dr. Tracy (22:46):
What what's coming up at my next visit, be empowered. Walk into that room as a colleague, as a peer, right? Your doctor wants to work with you as a team for the best interest of you and your baby as a unit. So number two is empowered. Try to be empowered, however you best can and then the third thing that women should really try to do. If they get a scary diagnosis is advocate, but not only advocate for themselves, but to look specifically for areas where other women have advocated for themselves. I think we don't use each other enough as a resource. Women don't use each other enough. I'm not suggesting, you know, going on Google and finding like a chat page about whatever the diagnosis is. Cuz that can be really scary. But there are other places that are helpful. There are, you know, Lamaze groups where there are women at the same point in pregnancies, you are try to find a tribe. If you have a diagnosis, let's say, God forbid, you've just had an amniocentesis come back and you've got an abnormality. Your baby has down syndrome. Let's say, go on Facebook. Not on to the main, big world at large, the world wide web. Right? Go on Facebook and find a group of women who moms with diagnosis of down syndrome. See if you can find women dealing with your situation mm-hmm and then talk to them. The other, the other piece, you know, that, that I think is very underutilized is the opportunity to potentially ask your doctor. Do you have any patients that have gone through what I'm going through that might be willing to talk to me? You know, that's, that's another way to get support. Peer support is so, so important.
Dr. Sarah (24:35):
Yes.
Dr. Tracy (24:36):
So those three things are people that, there are things that everybody can do, right? Education, empowerment, and advocacy. And I think that we're so sort of digitalized now that if you can find someone one or two women kind of to talk to, to relate to that's so important, we've lost our communities. Yes. Right. Pregnant women used to be cared for and taken care of postpartum for, you know, 40 days in most cultures by a community. And we don't have that. And you know, I think that our doctors can't give us everything. So let's look to the people who can, who we may be, you know, completely overlooking.
Dr. Sarah (25:21):
Yeah. And I think it's interesting, like, you know, you, you said to, I'm thinking also of a potential like resource. Like if you, for example, you find out your child is diagnosed with down syndrome. I like the idea of going to like a targeted space, like a Facebook group. But I also wonder there are probably like foundations, like, like institutions. Like I keep thinking about Postpartum Support International. Cause I know they have very specific free support groups for parents postpartum parents who have different diagnoses. So that's a resource postpartum.net.
Dr. Tracy (25:59):
Huge. Yep.
Dr. Sarah (26:00):
And they also have support groups, free support groups for perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. So like, if you are finding that you have postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression or antinatal depression. Absolutely. Which is a thing that I don't think I've ever talked about on this podcast, which is what you were saying, like this is depression during your pregnancy. We often talk about postpartum depression or postpartum mood disorders because that's very common, but you can also have a antinatal depression which is a depression that happens while you are pregnant. And there are support groups for that as well. And that's also often happens when you're in a higher risk pregnancy or have gotten some scary news because we do that can make somebody depressed or very anxious.
Dr. Tracy (26:48):
And, and to your point, not only that, first of all, if you have a young child you're anxious when you're pregnant again, right. I mean, let's be honest, you know, we talk about the pandemic and its effect on teens and how it's damaged them in terms of, you know, the need for mental health. So what about women of childbearing age? The incidence in general of depression and anxiety is so much higher now that you're gonna have so many more women that have issues during pregnancy and also a big contributor to that is think about all the women that are struggling with infertility. They all have, you know, a component of depression and anxiety going through that process and just being pregnant doesn't necessarily make that magically go away. There are, there are so many women who have the need for support during pregnancy. And to your point, if the need is identified and met in any way during pregnancy, they're a lot less likely to have a postpartum issue. So absolutely we really need to focus on identification of risk factors before and during pregnancy and getting women a support network. Because quite frankly, that's the time to build your support structure.
Dr. Sarah (28:06):
Yes. Yes. Because once the baby comes, you're, you're kind of, you're, you're thrown into the deep end. It would be nice to already have a life raft waiting for you there. You know what I mean?
Dr. Tracy (28:18):
That is what I, that is what I always tell patients. You know, I say to them, if there's an issue that we discuss, I know you don't think you need it now, but you're gonna need it. So let's put together your team because I'm telling you when you're, you know, dripping milk all over the place and bleeding and the baby's screaming and you haven't slept really tough to do anything for yourself that is productive at that stage of the game. Even if you have help. And at the end of the day, unless you're the one going through it, it's really, really hard to, even your closest support person. They can be amazing. But when it's your body and your hormones are all over the place and your a mess, it's really tough to get it together enough to find the right kind of support.
Dr. Sarah (29:05):
Right. And it could feel so overwhelming that you can't start.
Dr. Tracy (29:10):
Absolutely right.
Dr. Sarah (29:11):
So I always tell people, in fact, I even have like a free download on my website. I'll link to it in the show notes, but it's a mental health postpartum checklist. And the whole idea is it's like a crib sheet, like just like we have our birth plan and everyone does their birth plan. And there's like a million free downloadable forms to like check off all the birth plan things you want. Like, this is like a mental health checklist, like who find the resources, think of it as an insurance plan. Maybe you'll never have to use it. It'd be great if you, if this gathered dust in a drawer one day, but fill it out. Like who is a physical therapist, you know pelvic floor specialist that you can vet, you know, put a number down on there who is a mental health professional, put a number down on there who is a lactation consultant, put a number down. Like, so I have people fill it out and like basically create a mental health plan, should they need it? Because once they're in it, it's so hard. You need to have it's it's obviously, if you're in it right now and you don't have a plan, like we're here, you can do this. But if you are ahead of that, this would be the better time, the easier time to make this, to do this research.
Dr. Tracy (30:28):
Oh Sarah. You're so spot on there. And if you think about it, you know, for any woman or anyone who's ever been in therapy, you know, think about, you know, you go, you go to therapy and this is not even being pregnant. Let's just say, right. You go to therapy, you meet your therapist, you talk to them. Okay. What if you don't like them? Most people stop because they're like, Ugh, I don't feel like going and sharing my story again. And then I've gotta talk again. I've gotta pay for three visits and then it's awkward to leave. And, you know, just finding a good relationship with a therapist when you have time and financial resources and no baby crying and you've slept, it's hard enough then. So you're gonna be talking to someone that you don't know in this vulnerable, critical time. It's really hard. It's really hard. And so to your point, to just even be aware of the opportunity to make a checklist before problem strike is, is half of the key to success.
Dr. Sarah (31:30):
Yeah. Yeah. And so now they can add Blue Moon Perinatal to that list. Cause it sounds like a good resource to be thinking about.
Dr. Tracy (31:37):
I hope so. And if I'm not the right resource...
Dr. Sarah (31:40):
And do you work with people outside of New York state or is it only New York state?
Dr. Tracy (31:43):
So right now I, so it's interesting because I am really doing mostly what's considered coaching, it's sort of. I can talk to patients in 50 states. But for right now, starting my practice, I'm working primarily with patients where I'm licensed in New York and Connecticut. I'm in the process of getting a California state license as well. But through the platform that I use the platform, the platform is called Sesame Care. I do a virtual, it's a video platform. But I'm primarily seeing patients in New York and Connecticut. That said, I have a client in Wisconsin, I have a client in the Netherlands. So I'm open and able to do sort of all.
Dr. Sarah (32:24):
Got it good. Because I think that's another like kind of funny little challenge that has emerged kind of, because of COVID. Because, you know, before COVID, it was like, well, if you can't physically walk into my office, then I can't see you. So you being out of state was not really like, it just, it didn't really, it was like a non starter, but now that everything's telemedicine and telehealth, I'm, you know, we are licensed in the states in which we are licensed and we can't practice outside of those states. And so navigating that has challenging. And I think it's created an interesting puzzle to solve for in our industries, in our fields, because we want, I mean, I believe that people listen to this podcast from all over the world, actually. Like we have people from like many other countries than America listening and, you know, people do reach out to me. I just had a session with someone who is in Abu Dhabi, like, you know, but I do it as coaching outside of my license. And I'm very clear, like if we're doing parent coaching, I cannot diagnose and I cannot treat anything clinical, but I can provide psychoeducation. I can help you identify and work towards very specific goals. And if you or your child actually need clinical care, I can help you find those resources.
Dr. Tracy (33:42):
That is absolutely 100% spot on and it allows you to extend your reach. There are second opinion medical consulting forums that operate under the same principles as well. So as long as you are really is it as you and the client are on board in terms of what services you are actually providing and your client understands that this is really a guidance educational type of service. It opens up the world, I think about, you know, the expat community and, you know, all of the women who are stationed overseas, either for military reasons or for, you know, their husband's work takes them or their own work, takes them to Hong Kong or to London or to Abu Dhabi. You are in a different, you know, the medical system is different, your doctoring is different. Wouldn't it be nice to speak to, you know, a provider from home? We have those opportunities now. So it's time to it's time to make those opportunities available to as many people as can use them.
Dr. Sarah (34:47):
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Right. And there's something kind of empowering because it gives people a little bit more choice.
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Dr. Tracy (34:52):
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Totally.
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Dr. Sarah (34:52):
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You know, I'm thinking of people in like very rural communities where access to mental healthcare and the kind of guided like high risk OB-GYN support that you offer is hard to come by, you know? And so if you're in a rural area and you can't have, it's just, there's not really anybody around that can meet a specific diagnosis or a specific need. Obviously it still doesn't cover the issue of having the treatment for that diagnosis, which is the tricky part, but the support can be found.
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Dr. Tracy (35:26):
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Yes, the support can be found. And truly a lot of, there are a lot of things, you know, that fall under the sort of umbrella of high risk pregnancy that are just really about asking the right questions and having, you know, the right sort of assessment and the right sort of interval between assessments. You know, it's, it's being, it's being able to say to your doctor, can we check the baby's growth every month since I have mild high blood pressure? I mean, just knowing to ask that question is the care. So if the patient, you know, sort of has that education behind them, they're able to potentially get the care that they need even without really having it.
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Dr. Sarah (36:11):
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Or going to medical school.
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Dr. Tracy (36:13):
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That's exactly right. Yeah. That's exactly right. Yeah, it's something that I hope will continue to grow and, you know, like you said, to get to the right resources, you know, to get to the right places. That's my goal.
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Dr. Sarah (36:30):
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Yeah. Cause I feel like feeling educated, feeling like you have someone in your corner makes it easier to ask those questions to your doctor. Like you said, you know, your number two thing to do is to like, try to step into that feeling of empowerment so that you can advocate for yourself and like ask the questions. It's hard to ask the questions if you're really like, I don't know where to begin. And so when we feel educated, like it's a cascading effect. Like the more educated you feel, the more empowered you feel, the more you can advocate for yourself. So your 1, 2, 3 step process really starts with education and everything really flows from there. So I love that as kind of a takeaway for people like everybody can get educated. And sometimes we go to Google cause we think that's education and really that just scares the crap out of us. And it makes us stop right there, at step one and we just shut the computer and we walk away cuz we're like, I don't wanna do this anymore.
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Dr. Tracy (37:24):
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And you just lie awake all night thinking about it anyway.
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Dr. Sarah (37:27):
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Right. So it's like, we need to put like a big asterisk by education. And it's really not Dr. Google. Like we really want your education to be coming from targeted vetted sources. Correct. So that you know, that you can trust this information and you also know that you're not gonna get like terrified by the like whatever results show up in your search. Like these like extreme situations. Like we want you to be looking at things that are medically reviewed or peer reviewed, or if, if that feels too jargony and too confusing and hard to process that it's then digested for you by a professional that's writing this content.
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Dr. Tracy (38:03):
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I wanna just add that another really excellent source for sort of peer to peer support is Instagram, actually. You can find through searching hashtags. You know, a lot of our sort of targeted marketing is done via hashtags for certain terms. Right.
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Dr. Sarah (38:22):
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Okay, so what are some terms that you feel like are like secret code for like, this is a real doctor putting this information out.
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Dr. Tracy (38:30):
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Right. So here, so just to give you an idea, I mean, there is a hashtag that you can use pregnancy after loss. And if you're lucky that will direct you, there is an unbelievable group of women that I have been fortunate enough to encounter and work with. And their organization is called Push for Empowered Pregnancy. And they have together with a hospital in New York city launched the first rainbow clinic, which is a clinic for dealing with a pregnancy after stillbirth. So just by searching that hashtag you may find out that you land on the Instagram page of Push for Empowered Pregnancy. So if you actually search by your hashtag by your search term, if you search hashtag preeclampsia, there's an organization on Instagram very much like postpartum support international, where there are resources within those organizations. So it's important to know that there are marketing strategies happening on Instagram, via the use of a hashtag where women may be able to find the right support groups.
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Dr. Sarah (39:36):
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Right. They might be able to find a lot of other stuff too. So I say that with like go in there being like, scan for like, this is my whole thing about being an educated consumer of like parenting content and the same thing for being an educated consumer of pregnancy content. Like if you search the hashtag preeclampsia, make sure you're really checking it out. Who are the accounts that feel legitimate, who feel authoritative in the work that they're doing? Like who you feel like have vetted resources because there's a bunch of people out there talking about this stuff that, you know, it's good that they're bringing awareness to certain things, but they might not be the source. You wanna get your medical information from. So I say that with like, yes, go use those hashtags and find, but be mindful as you're searching through that space because there's wonderful stuff out there and it's a great way to find it. And there's a lot of noise
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Dr. Tracy (40:32):
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To your point 100%. Don't watch reels, don't watch TikTok. But when you find your hashtag exactly to that point, if you land on an organization, make sure there's doctors involved in the organization. You know. Make sure this is, exactly right. Make sure you are being an educated consumer and use the resources wisely.
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Dr. Sarah (40:55):
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Yes. But it is a great way to find something very targeted that might be hard to actually Google for, you know.
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Dr. Tracy (41:01):
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Of course.
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Dr. Sarah (41:01):
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Cause these, some of these organizations are very small, very grassroots. They don't, they don't come up to the top of a Google search, but they're in there and it's like, you sometimes have to look very hard for it, but it they're there.
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Dr. Tracy (41:14):
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This was one of my big obstacles starting Blue Moon. I worked with someone in terms of doing, you know, advertising and getting the word out from Google. And he was like, okay, let's come together with some search terms. What are the most common search terms people will need to find you I'm like there aren't any, so you've gotta sort of create, you know, you've gotta sort of work within those constraints because what you may need may not be a hashtag yet.
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Dr. Sarah (41:45):
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But it is a good way to start. And I think that's really helpful for people to take away from this is like this isn't easy. It is hard to find this kind of targeted support and this sort of vetted information. You are trying to make that a lot easier for people. And you know, it's good that there are people doing the kind of work that you're doing because it can feel overwhelming. And it can feel like just such a hard to know where to begin. Especially when you get a scary diagnosis. You, you know, the whole world feels a lot scarier and you're not, you know, you wanna, you kind of wanna go in and cocoon a bit because you're trying to kind of navigate this really difficult. You know, whatever it might be, it's gonna be difficult. And so I think this is good to know that there are resources out there you're not alone. And there are some very specific things that you can start to do and in, and work with your doctor to do to help you feel less hopeless and helpless and alone. When you get scary news when you're pregnant or when you're trying to get pregnant,
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Dr. Tracy (42:54):
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Absolutely use your community, educate yourself. And women are lucky that you, that you're around Sarah and doing the work that you're doing.
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Dr. Sarah (43:04):
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Same to you. I think that it's, I'm so glad I met you because I feel like you're a resource that I'm happy to know about for people that I work with.
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Dr. Tracy (43:13):
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Likewise, likewise.
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Dr. Sarah (43:15):
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Thank you for so much for coming on. And I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and we'll talk soon.
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Dr. Tracy (43:20):
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Thanks so much. Thanks everybody for listening.
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Dr. Sarah (43:27):There is a lot of noise out there. It is so important to me that women feel supported and have the resources. They need to focus on their mental health from a trusted and reliable resource. And that's exactly why I created a mental health postpartum checklist and made it completely free because I want all new and expecting parents to have access to it. This interactive checklist and workbook will walk you through everything you need for establishing your personalized physical and emotional support systems throughout your postpartum. You can feel more confident and relaxed knowing you have all your ducks in a row and have a game plan for whatever your new little duckling brings. To download this and many other free workbooks and guides go to my website, drsarahbren.com and click the resources tab. That's drsarahbren.com. Thanks for listening. And don't be a stranger.
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Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
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There are many activities parents can incorporate into their child’s daily routine to support their sensory processing abilities and help them learn to effectively regulate their emotions.
Joining me this week is Laura Petix, also known as The OT Butterfly, to discuss what exactly occupational therapy is, why it can be so beneficial for children, the role our 8 senses (that’s right, I said 8) play in our ability to remain calm and in control, and the best way to set our children up for success whether they are neurotypical or neurodivergent.
And if you want to equip yourself with the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums, check out my new intensive, The Science of Tantrums: How to help your child get back to a place of calm connection – without yelling, giving in or making it worse. Go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums to sign up and learn more!
Did you know there is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown? Do you know what that difference is?
Dr. Emily Upshur, from Upshur Bren Psychology Group, is back to answer those questions and help arm parents with the tools they need to best support their child through each. We’ll discuss what is happening in your child’s brain and body when they’re dysregulated, why these aren’t manipulative behaviors, and address the misconception that parents need to ignore bad behavior as a means of not reinforcing it.
And if you want to equip yourself with the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums, check out my course The Science of Tantrums: How to help your child get back to a place of calm connection – without yelling, giving in or making it worse. Go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums to sign up and learn more!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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There is a powerful connection between the mind and the body.
Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and dance and movement therapist, Dr Lori Baudino. We’ll discuss how physicality can be a tool for connection, ways you can shift your perception of your child’s physical movement to make it feel less personal when they are aggressive, how movement offers a unique opportunity for expression that may not be able to be communicated in words, and what a typical dance and movement therapy session looks like.
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Mindfulness can be an effective tool, allowing us to create new neural pathways in our brain that we can access in the heat of the moment, helping us stay regulated during life’s stressful, overwhelming and frustrating times.
In this episode, I am joined by the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center, Diana Winston. We’ll cover ways that you can incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, dispel some common myths about meditation and mindfulness practices, discuss the impact this can have on anxiety, ADHD and trauma, and close with a short guided meditation led by Diana (you'll want to bookmark this episode so you can revisit this ending over and over)!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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It is important we give ourselves permission to not always get it right in parenting. But after we do have a messy moment, it’s also important we know how to reconnect to create a sense of trust and intimacy in our parent-child relationship.
I’ve invited Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana’s Kids, back on the show to continue our conversation about regulation and coregulation and to address what happens after there is a rupture. We’ll discuss exactly what rupture and repair is, how this cycle is an important piece of maintaining strong and connected relationships, the impact that generational transmission of trauma can have on our ability to properly apologize or repair, and the necessity of slowing down to give ourselves time to respond rather than simply react.
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If you are feeling stressed and burnt out with the constant pressure to always be stimulating, educating and entertaining your child, you’re not going to want to miss this episode!
Joining me this week is Lizzie Assa. Lizzie is a parenting strategist and play expert, mom of three, and the founder of The Workspace for Children. We’ll discuss the strategies she put in place with her own children based off her experience as a classroom teacher that helped her find balance, the benefits of open ended and independent play, how to make children an active participant in the household, and concrete steps you can take today to create a successful play environment and routine with your own kids.
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When our children refuse to attend school or show other anxiety related behaviors, it can be difficult for parents to find that balance between properly supporting their needs without over accommodating for their fear.
In this episode I am joined by Dr. Erica Miller, a licensed psychologist and director of Successful School Transitions. We’ll talk about the effect the pandemic and disruptions to their routine has had on children, what school refusal is and why it can be so triggering for parents, and how we can use techniques like coregulation to stretch our child’s tolerance for coping with challenging emotions and experiences.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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The dissolution of a family unit when parents separate or divorce is a difficult thing for everyone involved, parents and children alike. But, that doesn’t have to mean it will be contentious and detrimental.
In this episode I am joined by certified divorce specialist and the author of Moms Moving On, Michelle Dempsey-Multack. We’ll be busting some common misconceptions about divorce, discussing the importance of support - for your child and yourself, the destructive nature of shame and guilt and the ways single parents can make their children feel safe and secure during this massive transition.
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In our culture, we often look at the surface behaviors our children exhibit and think it is our job as parents to control those. Instead, if we can look at behaviors as clues to how our child is making sense of the world, we're able to get to the root of what is causing the behavior in the first place.
Joining me this week is child psychologist and the author of the new book, Brain-Body Parenting, Dr. Mona Delahooke. We'll talk about the ways you can begin to look past your child's behaviors, creating a roadmap for each unique child, Dr. Mona's color-coded framework to help you understand the nervous system, and how that understanding can be our secret weapon in parenting to raise resilient, self-confident and healthy children.
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I was having a conversation with my practice co-founder Dr. Emily Upshur, just as two moms, navigating the transition with our own kids of working through unmasking at school and daycare. And it felt so important to get this message out there, as you are likely dealing with this exact same thing with your own children today, that we decided to hit record right on my iPhone. This episode is a little different - it's raw, unfiltered and unedited.
There is no one size fits all approach that works best. It's about making decisions for your own unique family and child. My hope is that this episode can help you feel more comfortable having a conversation about unmasking with your own child and understand the importance of prioritizing their physical, mental and emotional health - whatever you choose.
How and what we feed our child can be a polarizing topic for many parents. But we can likely all agree that we want our children to have a healthy, balanced and open relationship to food.
Joining me on the podcast is the CEO of Square Baby and registered dietician & nutritionist, Katie Thomson. We’ll talk about ways parents can tune out societal pressures and instead tune into our own children’s cues, way for establishing balanced and realistic expectations of our kids (and ourselves), and how we can nurture a healthy relationship between our children and food, right from the start.
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Joining me today is my partner from our joint practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We’re diving into Diana Baumrind’s 4 parenting styles - Permissive, Authoritative, Authoritarian and Neglectful - in order to help guide one mom who wonders how she can break the cycle and raise her child differently from the authoritarian way she herself was raised.
We’ll get into the characteristics of each of these styles, the middle ground where most people truly exist, the reasons why an authoritative style is considered the gold standard in child development and strategies you can use to consciously move toward this style in your day to day parenting.
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The ripple effects of how we were raised can often be felt in adulthood as we form and show up in relationships. Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Marina Rosenthal. We’ll discuss the intersection between the work I do in family therapy and the work she does with partners. And we’ll offer strategies for successful communication and connection skills in your romantic relationships as well as proactive steps you can take with your children to foster secure attachment. She and I get into the impacts of making kids feel safe and seen in childhood and how this can create the building blocks for their ability to form healthy relationships as adults.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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Hearing stories about how other parents have handled similar situations can make us feel less alone and helps give us context of how other “real” parents apply the principles I talk about within their own families. So with that in mind, I wanted to invite two of my former The Authentic Parent students to come on and talk about their experiences becoming moms for the first and second time, and how they’ve handled the transitions, challenges, triumphs and joys and built their own community of support.
And if you’re interested in The Authentic Parent: Finding your confidence in your child’s first year, go to drsarahbren.com/TAP to learn more and sign up for this 6-week guided course.
In the course I’II break down the foundational basics of psychology, child development and attachment science into simple to understand and actionable insights, so you can parent from an informed and confident headspace. Doors are only open now through February 11th, so act now if you’re interested in learning to calmly and confidently respond to any problem that arises, connect authentically with your child and truly enjoy parenting!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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Whether it’s in pregnancy, birthing or parenthood, being informed and properly supported can make parents feel safe, present and less anxious.
Joining me this week is birth doula, childbirth educator and founder of C and the Moon, Carson Meyer. We discuss the role of a doula and the importance of having an advocate and grounding influence in the delivery room and the interesting parallels between how feeling empowered and supported in our birth experience can lead to confidence and calm in our transition into motherhood.
Plus we share practical mental health strategies (like finding a community, getting proper nourishment and showing yourself grace) that can be implemented into your daily life. And we dig into the core principle of several different parenting philosophies - forming a trusting relationship with your child - and why that can lift some pressure off your shoulders, help you to parent with ease (most of the time,) and allow both you and your child to relax into a comfortable rhythm.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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Pregnant women are being bombarded with a never-ending stream of opinions and advice. How can we find that middle ground, where we feel prepared and knowledgeable without surrounding ourselves with so much noise and worst-case scenarios that we become overwhelmed and fearful?
Joining me this week is board-certified OB/GYN Shieva Ghofrany. Dr. Shieva and I discuss ways to reduce anxiety during pregnancy, how to be resilient during labor (and in life) and the importance of establishing a trusting and collaborative relationship with your OB/GYN and the support systems you surround yourself with.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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Sacrificing all we have and who we are in our pursuit of being a perfect parent has become a badge of honor in our society. But this isn’t a healthy or sustainable model.
Joining me today is journalist, community-builder and Not Safe For Mom Group founder, Alexis Barad-Cutler. The pandemic exposed how many of the systems in our society are broken, especially for parents. If you’re feeling fed up, angry, and burnt out there is a way to channel that energy into something positive by asking yourself, how can I play a role in changing this? Alexis will offer some potential solutions for ways we can help ourselves on a personal and societal level.
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Have you ever noticed the way we speak to babies? Our baby-talk voices tend to be a lot more melodic than our natural speech patterns. And there’s a good reason for that! Music is more emotional.
Joining me today is a music therapist, psychotherapist and the founder of Baby In Tune, Vered. She and I discuss the power of our voice, how music can play an essential role in regulating our child’s nervous system, the importance of lullabies, and strategies for how music can defuse tense parenting moments.
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Secure attachment is not that fragile! After all, it’s biologically hardwired in our children to connect with us to ensure their greatest likelihood of survival—we have to actively work against our children’s and our own biology to mess it up.
In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur is back to help answer a listener’s concern about maintaining a secure attachment bond with her baby once she goes back to work. We’ll discuss the basics of attachment theory, dispel the myth that you need to be a martyr to be a working parent, offer tips for finding small moments of connection and attunement throughout your day and help you distinguish the difference between your child’s feelings versus the feelings you may be projecting onto them.
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As parents, we may want to shield our children from any pain or sadness they may face, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we know this is impossible. So rather than fighting the inevitable, our children are better served if we work to help them understand how to weather the storm, to equip them with tools so they’re capable of processing and working through the full range of emotions life has in store for them.
Joining me today is Kim John Payne, author of several books, including the number 1 Best Seller Simplicity Parenting. This episode is overflowing with Kim’s time-honored guidance for raising healthy children who feel confident to explore and create, as well as mindset shifts to make ourselves that can help us to be more present and allow us to truly enjoy the journey.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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It's important for women to feel powerful, capable and confident during their pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey. After all, our bodies have an innate knowledge of how to do this, we just need to tap into that wisdom.
Today I am joined by the creator of the online platform The Bloom Method, Brooke Cates. Brooke and I are busting myths and dispelling societal stigmas surrounding what it means to become a mother. We’ll talk about ways you can stay connected to who you are during this massive transition, how to let go of some control and trust in yourself and your baby, and strategies for spiritual, mental, emotional and physical healing in the 4th trimester and beyond.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
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Joining me today is developmental psychologist Erin O’Connor, co-creator of Scientific Mommy and co-host of the podcast Parenting Understood. Last week Erin had me on her podcast, and we discussed all the factors that made parents particularly vulnerable to stress, anxiety and burnout during the pandemic in part one of this two part episode.
And now, in part two, we’re talking all about strategies we can implement right now, in our daily lives to reduce our stress and build support systems around ourselves and our families that enable us to find acceptance and to thrive as we begin looking toward a post-pandemic future.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
While I am a follower of RIE (resources for infant educarers) and use responsive parenting principles in the way I choose to raise my own children, that doesn’t mean I 100% follow these prescriptive practices to a tee. In this episode, I am opening up and revealing 5 so called “parenting rules” that I break as a mom.
Understanding the framework behind your own rules can help you identify and feel comfortable breaking some of them from time to time. It can be incredibly liberating to give yourself permission to be flexible in your parenting and prioritize your relationships, attunement and connection over always getting it “right."
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Dr. Emily Upshur joins me again this week to help a mom whose son is getting frustrated and calling himself “stupid” and “bad.” If you've been there, you may have felt yourself start to panic when you hear your son or daughter say similar words.
We’ll offer you tools to help you regulate your own nervous system in these stressful moments, allowing you to stay calm (or at least calmer) so you can more effectively help your child navigate their big emotions. Next, we review different approaches based on a child’s age and how frequently this behavior occurs, and discuss ways that parents can use scaffolding and a growth mindset to build your child’s resilience and distress tolerance.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
In this episode, therapist Robyn Gobbel joins me to discuss the lessons we've garnered from our knowledge of treating trauma, the principles of attachment theory and our understanding of how the human brain and body functions to allow you to unlock an effective, yet underutilized parenting strategy. We'll discuss the advantages of addressing the root cause of your child's behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself.
This process starts with you - understanding yourself, your triggers and doing the work to re-parent your inner child. We’ll offer strategies for getting started and tools you can use - at any stage of your journey - to help you intentionally rewire your own brain and nervous system and help you bring yourself back to center.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
It takes a village, but what happens when it’s suddenly unsafe to be a part of that supportive village? Parents learned the hard way when COVID-19 hit and we were forced into isolation. Now, as we begin to see the other side of this tunnel, we’re allowed a unique opportunity to build back, ideally better than before.
Joining me today is Digital Content Director for Parents, Julia Dennison. Julia and I discuss the struggles we personally faced parenting during the pandemic, ways we can all adjust now that hybrid work situations are becoming our new normal and the importance of allocating time for guilt-free self-care into your routine. You’ll hopefully find this to be an empowering conversation and a show of solidarity that every parent, no matter who they are, is struggling to juggle it all.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
If you have a toddler you’re likely no stranger to tantrums, aggressive behaviors or limit testing. Joining me on the podcast is clinical psychologist and founder of Parenting Translator, Cara Goodwin.
Today’s episode is all about helping you understand what is happening in your child’s brain and body when they become upset, so we can work with their nervous system to help them learn to regulate their big emotions.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
As parents, we often strive to encourage a strong foundational relationship between our child and music. Whether placing headphones on your pregnant belly, attending music class with your toddler, or getting Baby Shark stuck in your head after playing it on repeat - we want to encourage their love of music, while also allowing it to be child lead.
Joining me today is musician and father of 3, Mark Joseph. Mark and I will discuss the ways we can authentically create opportunities for music in our homes and how to allow our child’s intrinsic motivations to drive the relationship. Mark also shares his own personal experience of finding resilience, self-actualization, and never losing his love of music.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parents often worry, will my child attach to me? And the answer is almost always - yes! Attachment is less about whether or not a child will form a bond with their primary caregiver, and is more focused on the quality of that relationship and how secure it is.
Today, I am joined by the author of Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment, Bethany Saltman. Bethany will break down what attachment is and more importantly what it isn’t, discuss the importance of cultivating delight, breaking cycles and offer suggestions for allowing attachment theory to help inform the choices parents make in raising their children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parents are redefining what it means to be a working mom or dad and embracing what today’s guest, Neha Ruch, calls the grey area. As the founder of Mother Untitled she has a unique pulse on the mindset and challenges that modern mothers are facing when deciding to hit pause on career to focus on family life.
In this episode we’ll discuss tuning into your own needs to determine what works best for right now and recognizing there will be time to readjust as you and your family grow and evolve. We’ll offer advice for navigating identify shifts, redefining self-care, and learning to feel confident fielding the all-too-common and all-too-intrusive question, what do you do all day?
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Masks can cause a great deal of stress for parents - it’s one more thing to remember before getting out the door in the morning, can be a source of power struggles, and perhaps the most daunting, the fear that months spent without seeing full faces will impede their child’s development.
Today I am joined by speech-language pathologist and founder of Let’s Gab Speech, Becky Birkenfeld. Becky will answer all our burning questions about mask wearing and suggest some actionable and simple strategies parents can start implementing to encourage social, emotional and language development with their child.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Sibling dynamics can be complicated! And the way we parent the interactions between brothers and sisters often looks different than how we would handle the same situations in a playdate, daycare or school setting. In today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and we’ll help one mom who asks for advice on how to understand and respond to her kids when they're fighting.
We’ll offer mindset and behavioral shifts you yourself can make, break down the psychology of sharing, and help you set appropriate developmental expectations of your children. Plus, we'll help you reframe the situation to turn these tough moments into opportunities to help your children hone their empathy skills.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parents often feel they need to be perfectly aligned with their partner in their parenting approach. While it is true that sharing the same overall values and standards do help, allowing your partner to parent in a way that feels most authentic to them can actually make for a healthy and diverse experience for children. And both relationships, while different, can still create secure attachment bonds.
Today I am welcoming my husband Danny to the podcast. We’ll share the lessons we learned ourselves, so you don’t repeat our mistakes. And also offer you tools we used that helped us to get on the same parenting page.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
If you’ve ever asked, “is it bad my baby naps less than my friends’ kids?” “is it too late to break the poor sleep habits I created?” or the all too common “am I doing this right?,” this sleep episode is for you! Along with my guest, infant and child sleep consultant and owner of Lolo Lullaby, Lauren Wolf, we’ll be busting parents’ biggest sleep myths.
Whether it’s navigating power struggles, setting proper developmental expectations, making mindset shifts, or learning to find what works best for you and your unique child and family - by the end of this episode you’ll walk away with some concrete strategies you can implement to help sleep time turn from stressful to restful.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
You don’t need to be Ferris Bueller to realize that time moves pretty fast these days. And for parents, that can lead to feelings of stress, exhaustion and burnout.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through 5 actionable steps you can start taking today to get more time back into your days and weeks. And then, once you’ve found these extra minutes or even hours, I’ll help you take stock of what matters most. So you can be intentionally spending this newfound freedom on things that fill up your tank and allow you to show up as the best version of yourself - for you and for your entire family.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
The postpartum period presents new parents with a massive identity shift and an overwhelming flood of sudden changes. It’s important we talk about this and acknowledge that having a newborn is hard. While about 20% of mothers experience a PMAD, there is also a lesser talked about, yet still common situation that can occur.
1 in 10 new fathers or non-birthing partners experience some form of perinatal mood and anxiety disorder within the first year after the birth of their child. In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I will dispel the myth that PMADs only affect mothers, the importance of preparing for this possibility ahead of time, and what you can do to support you partner (mom or dad) if you think they need help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Millennial moms and dads have a lot of their plates. As the first generation to become parents in this advanced digital age, we’re especially hard-hit by the mom-guilt, constant comparisons, and access to an overwhelming (and unvetted) amount of information. Many of us were raised with punishments, sticker charts, and external rewards systems - so it’s no wonder we now find ourselves looking outward for validation.
In this episode, Marcella Kelson and I discuss ways millennial parents can turn inward, ways to build our confidence as parents, how to break cycles of generational trauma, and strategies for communicating our values to others (especially the baby boomers) in our lives.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders effect about 20% of women. It’s important we prepare parents-to-be for the possibility that they may experience this, and the symptoms to look out for. In this episode, I’ll be discussing the different forms of PMADs - postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum bipolar disorder and postpartum psychosis, and a few others. I’ll also share who is most at risk for developing these during and after pregnancy and what you can do if you or someone you love is experiencing any of these symptoms.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
In this episode I am joined by professional chef and father to biological, adopted and foster children, Chef Kibby. You’ll hear how he uses the kitchen to help his children learn to trust and work through their trauma. And we'll walk you through what goes on in your child's brain when they engage in these activities.
All parents can use the 3 step process we’ll discuss to help you connect with your own children, regardless of whether they’ve experienced trauma or are just looking for a fun way to connect with you. Getting your kids cooking and sharing meals together provides you with a wonderful opportunity to strengthen and deepen your parent-child relationship.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Warning: This episode includes discussions on childhood sexual assault and may be triggering for some listeners.
It falls on us as parents to push through our own discomfort to engage in conversations that allow us to learn and understand the best ways to protect our children and keep them safe. In this episode, I am joined by Feather Berkower to discuss ways you can arm yourself and your children with tools to prevent sexual abuse. We’ll talk about preventative measures, the conversations we should be having with the caregivers in our children’s lives, the language we should use when teaching body safety to our children and fostering their sense of body autonomy, some signs to look out for and resources where you can go to seek help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When parents have a picky eater on their hands it’s easy for them to unwittingly enter into a dance with their child that can lead to them becoming more and more resistant to foods as parents grow more and more frustrated during mealtimes. If you’ve been stuck in this dynamic with your own child, don’t worry, there is a way out of this vicious cycle.
In this episode, I’m joined by Rebecca Taskin, a trained feeding therapist and licensed speech and language pathologist. We’ll discuss techniques you can use to start gently stretching your child out of their food comfort zone and mindset shifts for you to make that will allow you to remove some of that pressure during mealtimes. We’ll also talk about the signs to look out for if you think your child might have a more serious feeding issue and when to seek clinical help if you’re worried their food struggles may be more than picky eating and could be a feeding disorder.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Favoring one parent over the other is a very common and developmentally normal phase for children. In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I help a mom who is struggling with this issue. We discuss identifying which battles to pick, techniques she can use to help her child grow comfortable with Dad doing more, and how to handle this often highly emotional situation while being sensitive to the feelings of all the parties involved - Mom, Dad and child.
If you're managing similar struggles in with your child, this episode is sure to help! Once you’ve come up with a plan and put these actionable steps into practice you’ll slowly see your child’s inflexibilities begin to shift as he becomes more comfortable and trusts in the new normal.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When it comes to helping our children with sleeping, the goal is to make them feel confident and capable of independently falling asleep and then falling back asleep if they wake up in the middle of the night. Sounds simple enough, but how do we as parents help our children build that skillset? In this episode, my guest Eileen Henry and I will review many of these factors. We’ll discuss regulation techniques, how to create an ideal sleep environment - both physically and emotionally - and how to identify when your child is suffering and needs you to step in versus when they are struggling and you can help guide them without fixing the problem for them.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
What do I do when my partner and I are not on the same page with our parenting values, how do we raise our kids, how can we address behavioral issues?
In this episode, I’ll be tackling all those questions and helping you and your partner work as a team to create a united front. I’ll cover when and how to have conversations together (sneak peak: it’s the same advice I give parents about when to communicate with their child too). How to determine and define the values that are important to you, both individually and as a team. And how to create a family game plan, so everyone is one the same page on how these values will be carried out. This will be constantly evolving as your children grow, so it’s important to schedule regular check ins to discuss what’s working and what’s not working in a way that makes you both feel seen, heard and valued.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Young children often need our help to get their bodies and minds back into a regulated state after they’ve lost their cool. One of the most effective tools parents can use to do this is to coregulate with their child. Start by making sure you’re regulated yourself, then become a solid and grounding presence, and continue holding firm to the limits you’ve set. In this episode, I am joined by Dana Rosenbloom of Dana’s Kids and together she and I cover exactly how parents can follow this process to help their child transition back into a calm and regulated frame of mind. Eventually, the goal is for your child to be able to internalize the skills you’ve taught them through coregulating with them and, after a bit of practice and patience, they will begin to have the ability to soothe themselves independently.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
I’m joined by Deborah Carlisle Solomon and together we'll discuss 3 easy to implement and actionable steps parents can start taking today to strengthen trust and cooperation in their parent-child relationships - and the best part is that you can add them right into the routines you’ve already established!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily respond to a mom who is asking for help figuring out what to do when her child says “I hate you!” or uses hurtful language.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Jennie Monness, creator of @momommies and co-founder of Union Square Play and I discuss what exactly the function of play is (spoiler alert - it’s more than you might imagine), why play is so important for healthy development, and how to create a safe and enriching environment for your child.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
In my deep dive on the topic of attachment theory I’ll review the nuts and bolts of exactly what it is and why secure attachment bonds are so essential to the formation of personality and predictive of all kinds of positive mental health outcomes.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨Send an email to [email protected]
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parenthood is a messy, chaotic, wild ride - and guess what, that’s okay! I’m Dr. Sarah Bren, a clinical psychologist and mom of two. I’ve built a career dedicated to helping families find deep connections, build healthy relationships, repair attachment wounds, kick the guilt, and raise kids who are healthy, secure, resilient, and kind. In this podcast, I’ve taken all of my clinical experience, current research on brain science and child psychology, and the insights I’ve gained on my own parenting journey, and distilled everything down into easy to understand and actionable parenting insights. Consider this your one stop shop for psychologically informed, research based information about parenting, child development, and the fundamentals of fostering secure attachment relationships with our kids. My goal is to help you to understand the building blocks of children’s social, emotional, and cognitive development so you can tune out the noise, stop googling, and tune into your own authentic parenting voice with the confidence to respond to any situation parenting throws at you. So go ahead and reheat that coffee for the 3rd time today, take a few deep breaths, hit subscribe, and join me every Tuesday here on Securely Attached.
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.