Podd: Blended Family Breakthrough

Simple Step: Co-Parenting Pitfalls

25 mars 2025 | 6 min

206. Avoid These 5 Common Pitfalls to Ensure a Successful Partnership

18 mars 2025 | 43 min

Simple Step: Effective Consequences

11 mars 2025 | 8 min

205. 4 Facets of Parenting: What Bio Parents Need to Know to Achieve Best Outcomes (Part 2)

4 mars 2025 | 40 min

Simple Step: A Stepparent's Role in Creating Enjoyment

25 februari 2025 | 7 min

204. 4 Facets of Stepparenting: Defining Appropriate Roles and Responsibilities (Part 1)

18 februari 2025 | 40 min

Simple Step: Managing Tension

11 februari 2025 | 5 min

203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United Team

4 februari 2025 | 64 min

In this episode, we’re delving into a common challenge for blended family couples: decision-making and problem-solving. Whether managing kids’ expectations, negotiating with an ex, or facing the pain of being a “trapped teammate” or “stranded stranger,” disagreement and differing perspectives can create tension and keep you stuck.

We’ve been there ourselves, and we share relatable stories, including a meltdown at the mall over a swimsuit and how it almost derailed our unity. Plus, we unpack practical strategies that have been game-changers for us and the couples we coach.

We believe every blended couple needs a strategy for decision-making and problem-solving that helps them stay united and avoid confusion, pain, and disconnection. Grab a coffee, sit back, and let’s tackle this together.

You'll Discover

How to avoid falling into the "trapped teammate" or "stranded stranger" dynamic.
Three key “DON’TS” that will safeguard your relationship from unnecessary conflict.
A powerful brainstorming hack to make decisions and solve problems as a united team.
How to manage decision-making pressures from kids and ex-spouses.
Practical tips to stay connected and strengthen teamwork in tough moments.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron and Nan Deal]
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience
Episode 22: One Simple - and Romantic - Way to Combat Being Stranded or Trapped
Episode 23: How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
Episode 24: What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
Episode 95: Do You Dread Negotiating Schedule Changes with your Ex - Try These 5 Practical Tips
Episode 13: How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Family
Episode 83: 4 Everyday Favoritism Traps that Dishearten Kids in a Blended Family

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The Pitfalls of Perspective Pushing

28 januari 2025 | 7 min

202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]

21 januari 2025 | 78 min

No one enjoys being in conflict with their spouse. But the reality for every couple is that conflict is unavoidable.

We all experience disagreement that leads to conflict. But there's a big difference between doing conflict well versus spiraling into unproductive patterns where we say and do things that at best aren't helpful and at worst erode love and trust in our relationship.

You can probably relate. Your spouse does something that triggers a painful emotion and you react. You might blame, shame yourself, take control, or try to avoid the whole situation. It's natural and normal for all of us to react these ways, but you don't have to stay stuck in unproductive, damaging patterns. You can learn to do conflict well, just like we have!

In this episode, our friends Ron and Nan Deal share their personal journey. After hitting rock bottom in their marriage, finding restoration, and discovering the tools that transformed their relationship, they've written an amazing book called The Mindful Marriage. Their new book breaks down powerful concepts into relatable, practical steps for couples everywhere.

Ron and Nan are popular speakers who specialize in restoration therapy, blended families, and supporting grieving parents. Ron, a bestselling author, licensed marriage and family therapist, and podcaster, also serves as a senior director at FamilyLife. Nan, a retired teacher, now champions her community through Live Thankfully.

From navigating destructive cycles of conflict and emotional pain to increasing love, trust, and intimacy in your relationship — today's conversation is full of hope, encouragement, and actionable wisdom!

What You'll Learn:

Identifying and breaking free from pain cycles in your relationship.
Practical steps to create a “peace cycle” that strengthens love and trust.
Insights into how family history impacts marriage dynamics.
Why emotional regulation is a game-changer for blended families.
The importance of “usness” in building a thriving relationship.

Resources Mentioned:

The Mindful Marriage by Ron and Nan Deal
Restoration Therapy model by Dr. Terry Hargrave
Bonus materials are available at RonDeal.org

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Redefining Simple Fun

14 januari 2025 | 4 min

201. Step Up Enjoyment and Safeguard Your Relationship by Taking FUN Seriously [w/Rich & Christa Clark]

7 januari 2025 | 78 min

How serious are you about creating enjoyment and fun in your relationship (and in your home)?

You probably started off your relationship experiencing lots of enjoyment as you were getting to know each other and falling in love. But as the busyness and stress of blended family life set in, maybe your enjoyment started to wane a bit.

The truth is, if you want to increase enjoyment and safeguard your relationship, then you've got to take FUN seriously!

Our friends Rich and Christa blended their family 13 years ago. Although they've had their share of ups and downs, they've managed to make fun a top priority…

…and they've reaped the benefits of deep connection, laughter, and genuine enjoyment in their relationship (and in their home).

Rich and Christa are on a mission to strengthen marriages and families in a culture that's losing hope. They want to help couples avoid the tragedy of divorce and enjoy a thriving marriage full of joy, friendship, and fun.

Join us for a raucous conversation as Rich and Christa share practical — and serious — ways they've discovered to increase fun and how you can do the same.

What You’ll Learn

Why fun is a safeguard for your marriage and how it deepens connection.
How to create a family culture of fun, even in challenging stepfamily dynamics.
The importance of “micro-moves of fun” and small intentional gestures.
Practical ways to align your schedule and priorities to boost enjoyable couple time.
How to balance personal expectations with the realities of blended family life.

Resources Mentioned

Episode 200. A Heart-to-Heart Conversation Exploring the Secrets to Lasting Love
Click here to connect with Rich and Christa
Book by John Gottman: 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work
Book by Sam Jolman: The Sex Talk You Never Got
Click here to learn more about Weekend to Remember marriage events
To learn more about our Relate Strong program, CLICK HERE to schedule your FREE coaching call
Episode 136. How to Intentionally Create Positive Family Time and Reduce Relational Tension
Episode 146. Friendship and Connection or Friction and Distance - what's the state of your relationship?

Actionable Takeaways

Define Your Fun: Identify activities you and your spouse enjoy and prioritize them in your schedule.
Celebrate Small Wins: Whether it’s playful traditions like funny birthday cake messages or silly rituals, embrace the small moments.
Move at Your Child’s Pace: Honor your stepchild’s readiness for connection without pushing. Small cracks in the door can lead to big breakthroughs over time.
Model Connection: Let your kids see you laughing and enjoying each other—it’s a powerful way to teach them about healthy relationships.
Invest in Growth: Attend retreats, read books together, or explore coaching programs to strengthen your marriage and family bonds.

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Holiday Announcement

24 december 2024 | 3 min

Simple Step: Relational Growth

17 december 2024 | 9 min

200. A Heart-to-Heart Conversation Exploring the Secrets to Lasting Love

10 december 2024 | 73 min

Can you believe it? We’ve made it to our 200th episode! 🎉 We’re so thankful for your support and excited to celebrate with a heart-to-heart conversation.

Today, we’re diving into the topic of marriage wellness and how generosity can create a foundation for lasting love. Throughout our candid conversation, we openly assess our marriage and identify areas where we can grow and improve.

Inspired by The Go-Giver Marriage by John and Ana Mann, we explore what it means to be intentional in your relationship. We'll uncover the secrets to lasting love and share personal stories, lessons from our own journey, and practical insights into how generosity plays a vital role in marriage.

Whether you’re thriving or facing struggles, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable steps to strengthen your bond.

What You’ll Learn:

The importance of spoken appreciation in creating connection.
How attending to your partner’s needs can strengthen intimacy.
Why allowing your partner to “be” is essential for trust and safety.
How belief in your partner can fuel their growth—and yours.

Resources Mentioned:

The Go-Giver Marriage book by John and Ana Mann
Click here to schedule your Free Blended Family Coaching Session with Mike & Kim

Actionable Takeaways:

Start a daily appreciation practice: Share one specific and spoken compliment or thank-you with your partner each day.
Notice and act on your partner’s needs: Pay attention to what they need emotionally or physically, and take small steps to support them.
Assess your relationship energy: Reflect on the energy you bring to your interactions. Are you supportive, kind, and patient?
Communicate belief: Verbalize your faith in your partner’s abilities and character regularly.
Focus on personal growth: Choose one area where you can grow, and take intentional steps to improve.

Don’t Miss Out:

Be sure to follow the show on Spotify or Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss next week’s bonus episode, where we reveal the fifth secret to lasting love!

Thanks for celebrating this milestone episode with us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Helping Kids Solve Social Problems

3 december 2024 | 7 min

199. 6 Simple Ways to Help Your Kids Build Social Confidence and Connection

26 november 2024 | 36 min

In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that hits close to home for every parent—social wellness for kids and step-kids. If you’ve ever felt unsure about how to guide your children through the ups and downs of friendships, bullying, or personal boundaries, you’re not alone. We’ve been there, too, and we’re sharing some of our own experiences—both the wins and the missteps—as we supported our kids’ social growth.

This is the third episode in our wellness series, and today we’re focusing on the social skills that help kids thrive, not just in childhood but for the rest of their lives. We’ll talk about what social wellness really means, why it’s so important, and how blended family dynamics can add an extra layer of complexity. Plus, we’ll share six practical strategies that have made a difference in our home.

You’ll hear stories about how we coached our kids through rejection, mean-girl drama, and personal boundaries—all while learning some lessons ourselves along the way. We know firsthand how tricky it can be to help kids build confidence and navigate social challenges, but we’re here to offer encouragement and ideas you can use right now. Let’s tackle this together!

What You'll Learn:

Why social wellness is vital for kids' emotional health and overall happiness.
Common parenting challenges in supporting kids' social development.
Six actionable tips to help your children build social skills.

Resources Mentioned:

TED Talk: The Good Life is Built with Good Relationships by Dr. Robert Waldinger.
Episode 168. Actionable Steps for Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve (the skill of Emotion Coaching)
Article by Isa Marrs: 7 Signs Your Child is Being Bullied
Article by Jason Marrs: What to do, and not do, if your child is being bullied
Book: Crazy Stressed by Dr. Michael Bradley
Episode 19. How to Help Step-Siblings to Get Along Better
Advice for parents teaching social skills: Where I Can Be Me
Tips for Teens around social issues: Where I Can Be Me

Actionable Takeaways:

Choose one or two of the six social skills strategies to focus on with your child this week.
Share this episode with a friend or co-parent who might find these tips helpful.

Ready for some extra support?

We're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

#BlendedFamily #SocialWellness #ParentingTips

We would be so grateful if you left us a review on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast.

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Creating Healthy Sleep Habits

19 november 2024 | 5 min

198. How do sleep habits impact the health and wellness of your kids? [with Jessica Bryant]

12 november 2024 | 76 min

Are your kids ever irritable, anxious, or just "off"?

Maybe they aren't getting enough sleep.

You might be surprised how inadequate or inconsistent sleep habits can negatively impact your kid's ability to focus, tolerate stress, and manage relationships. Lack of sleep increases fatigue, affects mood, and decreases overall wellness.

In fact, our guest Jessica Bryant says there really isn't any health concern we might have for our kids that isn't impacted by sleep — particularly their mental health.

Jessica has helped over 2000 families across 5 different countries to create healthy sleep habits. She's done that using her unique combination of professional experience as an early childhood intervention specialist and her personal focus on creating healthy sleep routines with her own children.

In this episode, Jessica shares some simple steps that can make a massive difference and increase wellness in your family by promoting healthy sleep habits.

You'll Discover:

The real risks and health concerns for kids struggling with sleep deprivation
Practical tips around healthy sleep habits for kids of all ages
How to implement new habits as a family to promote wellness through sleep
Encouragement and positive ways to approach sleep issues in your home — even when your kids' other home operates differently.

Resources from this Episode:

Connect with Jessica at Sleep Happy Consulting
Reach out to Jessica for a Free 15 15-minute sleep Audit to help answer your questions about sleep
The Better Sleep Counsel
Episode 172. 2 Key Elements to Resolve Your Parenting Style Differences - And Get United

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Managing Screens Across Households

5 november 2024 | 6 min

197. Conquer Digital Overload: Parenting Tips for Raising Tech-Savvy Kids [with Stephen Arterburn]

29 oktober 2024 | 46 min

In today's screen-saturated world, parents are facing a unique challenge that previous generations never had to navigate…

…how to raise tech-savvy kids!

Screens are everywhere. Your children may wake up to the morning news on TV. They might work on a laptop or even a government-issued tablet while at school. Throughout the day and into the evening, they may play a game on their tablet, text friends on a smartphone, or watch a movie with the family—maybe even all three at once!

Your children’s 24/7 access to screens will expose them to a universe of connection and content: some good, and some damaging. The influence of screens impacts the overall health of your kids. The reality is that digital overload often leads to decreased health and wellness.

The lure and influence of screens can leave parents feeling powerless. How are you supposed to raise a physically and emotionally healthy, socially competent, well-balanced child in a screen-saturated world?

This is a question that every parent wrestles with…

…and our guest, Stephen Arterburn, is here to help! Stephen has a personal parenting story of screen-related trauma in his family which lead him down a path to discover answers to the most common challenges that parents face in our tech-saturated world.

Listen in and discover how you can make a positive and powerful impact by raising tech-savvy kids who are aware, safe, and responsible in how they engage with screens.

You'll Discover:

The importance of flexibility
Practical tips for healthy screen habits in your home
Why the worst outcomes occur when screens are "outlawed" for kids
A helpful mindset around the dangers and the benefits of the internet
How to teach kids awareness, safety, and responsibility
How to help your kids move toward healthy choices and increased wellness

Resources from this Episode:

Book by Steve Arterburn and Alice Benton : Understanding and Loving Your Child in a Screen Saturated World
Episode 70. 5 Simple Ingredients for Healthy Tech Habits with Your Kids [with Rob Hayes-St.Clair]
Book by Andy Crouch: The Tech-Wise Family - Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place
Episode 178.Surviving the Turbulent Teen Years: Expert Insight and Strategies for Today's Parent [With Dr. Michael Bradley]
Episode 73. 4 Simple Principles for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Kids
Newlife Ministries - Help and Hope in Life's Hardest Places

Ready for some extra support?
You can connect with us for a free coaching call - schedule your FREE call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Communicating Well With Your Ex

22 oktober 2024 | 9 min

196. 5 Tips for Effectively Negotiating Holiday Plans with an Ex

15 oktober 2024 | 39 min

The holidays can be a time of excitement and high hopes for family "togetherness". You probably want to plan fun, festive activities so that you're able to enjoy memorable moments as a family.

But nothing can rob you of all that fun like struggling to negotiate some details about scheduling or other logistics with your Ex.

We've been there more times than we've wanted to be.

Over the years, we've discovered 5 simple things that can reduce the headaches and avoid the heartaches that often come when negotiations break down.

If you're anticipating having to negotiate changes to the visitation schedule this holiday season, don't procrastinate! We'll help you navigate the negotiations so they don't rob your joy.

Hop into this episode to discover how you can approach negotiations well and enjoy more peace this Holiday Season!

You'll Discover:

5 tips for negotiating schedule changes with your former spouse that can increase cooperation and ease tension
How to stay focused on what's best for the kids and set them up for a peaceful Holiday Season
Practical strategies for responding to your child's disappointment when they miss out on an activity
Simple thoughts for managing your own emotions when things don't go as planned

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
Episode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids
Episode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse
Episode 135. How to Set Appropriate Boundaries and Negotiate Well with Your Ex-Spouse
Episode 33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids
Episode 31. 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope with Your Ex
Episode 71. How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Episode 7. Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps That Help

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Highlight the Positives - Mike's Story

8 oktober 2024 | 6 min

195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child — Facing the Challenges of Parental Alienation

1 oktober 2024 | 35 min

Do you ever stop to think about what it will be like 15 years from now? What will your relationship with each of your children be like?

Maybe you've got a HARD kid (Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant) who's putting up walls and seems to have turned against you - and it feels like this painful season will never end. The tension in your relationship with your child has robbed you of the connection you really want — and you aren't sure how to respond.

That's exactly what we were experiencing 16 years ago, but you know what…

…it didn't last forever.

Back when we were navigating a 3-year battle of parental alienation, Kim's daughter, Annika, was hostile and actively rejecting our family. In the middle of all the confusion, anger, and pain, we weren't sure how to move beyond the 'black cloud' of tension we experienced during our visitation with Annika.

Somewhere along the way, Kim discovered some practical strategies that created bridges of connection with Annika. It was just enough to help us hold onto hope and keep us moving forward.

The perseverance has paid off and now in Annika's adult life, we have a strong, loving connection with her.

Kim is sharing a few powerful tips in this episode that can help you build bridges of connection too. We want you to know that you can stay hopeful and show up well, even with a HARD child. Your current season might be filled with difficult challenges, but you have what it takes to help your child know that you're loving, safe, and available.

Listen in on this episode to find out more.

You'll Discover:

Our story of parental alienation and how Kim was able to carefully create bridges of connection with her daughter.
Encouragement and practical tips for engaging with your hurt, angry, rejecting, or distant child.

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]
Article by Dr. Bob Evans: 17 Primary Alienation Strategies
Episode 42. Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You
Book by Amy J.L. Baker and Paul R. Fine: Parenting Under Fire - How to Communicate with Your Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant Child
Article by Amy Baker: Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated Child

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

Just click here

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Responding to Your Child's Complaints & Accusations

24 september 2024 | 8 min

194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]

17 september 2024 | 65 min

Children of divorce who are hurt, angry, rejecting, and distant (HARD) are challenging to parent. They can be rude, uncooperative, and disagreeable. It's difficult to relate to or connect with them, and they can appear hardened against the love and guidance you want to provide.

When conflict between two homes intensifies, children often become entangled in loyalty conflicts or sometimes victims of parental alienation. Whatever the reason might be, parents need help!

If it feels like you've been parenting "under fire" and you're struggling to understand the dynamics your child might be experiencing, and you're trying to figure out how to best communicate and connect with them, you won't want to miss this interview.

Our special guest Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D., shares her experience working with parents of HARD children as they navigate the minefields of confusion, pain and frustration. Amy offers effective strategies to enhance attachment with your child and manage your difficult dynamics — including how to respond to false accusations.

If you're trying to parent a "HARD" child we want you to know there's hope and you can start making progress by listening in for practical tips on safeguarding your relationship through appropriate communication, self-awareness, and empowerment.

You'll Discover:

Effective ways to connect and communicate with a child who is hurt, angry, rejecting, or distant
How to respond to false accusations and avoid reinforcing negative beliefs that the other parent is influencing
Practical steps to enhancing attachment with your child by focusing on safety, love, and availability
Warning signs to look for in your kids (and your Ex) that could possibly lead to Parental Alienation

Resources from this Episode:

CLICK HERE to connect with Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D.
Book by Amy J.L. Baker and Paul R. Fine: Parenting Under Fire - How to Communicate with Your Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant Child
Article by Amy Baker: Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated Child
Article by Dr. Bob Evans: 17 Primary Alienation Strategies
Episode 42. Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Preparing to Blend

10 september 2024 | 5 min

193. The Advantage of Learning The Basics BEFORE You Blend

3 september 2024 | 60 min

Most of us start off on the blending journey with some ambiguity about how to deal with the complex dynamics that will come as families merge.

It usually doesn't take long before you're blindsided by the reality that there's SO MUCH MORE to blending than first anticipated. Feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and disappointment might hit and you realize you're not as prepared as you thought.

If you're seriously dating, contemplating marriage, engaged, newly married or getting ready to merge and move everyone under one roof — or if you've been on your blended journey for a while and you just need to get back to the basics…

…this episode is for you!

Discover in ADVANCE what you can do to prepare for your blend and avoid the common "easy wrong turns" that often create confusion, resentment, tension, conflict, and disconnection in blended families.

Hop into this episode to learn best practices, helpful strategies, and understand the basics of blending so that you can set your family up for the best possible experience!

You'll Discover:

The advantage of preparing in ADVANCE for blended family life
Basics for blending that build a healthy foundation so that everyone in your home can experience the best possible outcomes
How to avoid the 'easy wrong turns' that lead to confusion, resentment, relational tension, painful conflict, and disconnection for blended families

Resources from this Episode:

CLICK HERE to receive a curated list of episodes that take a deeper dive into today's A.D.V.A.N.C.E. topics
Book: Crucial Conversations - Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
Join our Blending Together Community

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Building Trust in Parenting

27 augusti 2024 | 8 min

192. A Simple Process to Navigate Sensitive Conversations About Each Other's Kids

20 augusti 2024 | 38 min

What's one of THE most challenging "feats" for blended couples to successfully master?

Building a healthy, collaborative parenting partnership!

What makes this so difficult?

The sensitive topic of parenting can naturally kick off an emotionally-charged conversation, ending in disagreement, conflict, and disconnection.

If you're anything like us, you've probably experienced painful, unproductive interactions around parenting that left you at risk…

…at risk of shutting down or shutting each other out

…at risk of reacting poorly in those moments that matter most

…at risk of ongoing distrust

…at risk of experiencing double standards, hurt feelings, ongoing tension, resentment, and relational strain in your home.

Here's the good news: you CAN minimize these risks by practicing new ways to communicate that build your parenting partnership!

In this episode, we'll share how we've learned to master the "feat" of building a parenting partnership by engaging in sensitive parenting conversations that built trust and healthy collaboration in our relationship. Ultimately, all of this will lead to better outcomes for kids — and for you!

You'll Discover:

A simple 4-part process to initiating sensitive conversations and address concerns about your partner's child
How to reduce conflict and break free from unproductive, ineffective communication patterns around parenting
Practical steps for building a healthy, collaborative parenting partnership

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 187. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress
Book: Crucial Conversations - Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Money Matters

13 augusti 2024 | 6 min

191. Achieve Financial Harmony: Expert Guidance for Blending Your Finances [with Ron Deal & Greg Pettys]

6 augusti 2024 | 70 min

Money is emotional.

That's why it can be a touchy subject for couples — whether they're preparing to blend or if they've been blending for a while. Discussing finances can lead to very real challenges.

The process of "merging money" can easily become complicated and overwhelming for blended family couples. The complexities tap into deeper emotions tied to things like fear, trust, loyalty, security, and stability.

But "complex" and "impossible" are two different things. The emotional nature of money doesn't have to keep couples stuck. It is possible to create transparency, understanding, and alignment around your finances — for today and for the future.

And the great part is, alignment around finances often creates greater levels of trust and intimacy in your relationship.

So if your goal is to love, care, and provide for everyone in your family, but you just aren't sure how to effectively merge your finances — this episode is for you!

We're so grateful to have Ron Deal and Greg Pettys on the show to share expert advice and practical steps for discussing and managing your financial expectations and future plans…

…this episode is a MUST for every blended couple.

You'll Discover:

How to move beyond fear and ambiguity to create transparency, understanding, and alignment around money
The difference between a Prenuptial Agreement (which is a contingency plan that assumes failure) and a Togetherness Agreement (which is a proactive plan that assumes success)
How to build emotional and financial security and safety while making decisions around money — even when there's doubt and distrust
How to honor and provide for your children's future, while offering care and concern for your spouse and stepchildren's financial future as well

Resources from this Episode:

Book by Ron Deal, Greg Pettys & David Edwards: The Smart Stepfamily's Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family
Click here to connect with Greg Pettys for a FREE consult regarding basic estate planning (wills, trusts, power of attorney, and guardianship)
Click here for a list of Smart Stepfamily Providers for help with 'under the surface' issues.

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Facing Difficult Emotions that Come with Blending

30 juli 2024 | 8 min

190. Where can you turn for help? Understand the Difference Between Counseling and Coaching

23 juli 2024 | 41 min

I (Mike) have had so many moments of just feeling stuck. I wondered how we would ever move forward and I figured out pretty early on that I wouldn't be able to sort out all the complex chaos without some support.

The problem was, I had no idea what kind of support we needed.

And when we were stuck in unhealthy patterns that kept leading to disconnection and pain, it was challenging to sort out how to move forward.

That's a frustrating place to be. It can sometimes feel confusing or even hopeless.

In this episode, we'll share some painful moments where we felt stuck and how we discovered the difference between engaging in counseling and coaching and the benefits of each at different seasons of our journey.

The great news is there wasn't anything "wrong" with us that we couldn't work through with a little help!

If you're feeling stuck in the complex realities of blending, you aren't alone and you don't have to stay stuck either. Listen in to discover the best approach for getting the help you need today!

You'll Discover:

Distinct benefits and differences between counseling and coaching
How Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE's) from the past might be impacting your present reality
How to get unstuck and move toward positive growth
Personal questions to help determine the best support for you

Resources from this Episode:

Article from Cleveland Clinic: Adverse Child Experiences (ACEs)
Counselors & Coaches with Stepfamily Training
Episode 165. How important is your mindset when it comes to blended family life?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: How to Respond to a Child's Grief

16 juli 2024 | 7 min

189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief: A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]

9 juli 2024 | 71 min

It's hard to accept that grief is simply a part of every blended family's journey. But that's your reality because everyone in your family has experienced some kind of loss along the way.

If you aren't able to acknowledge grief and create a safe space to process through it, you'll miss out on valuable opportunities that lead to healing.

In this episode, you'll discover a few truths about grief that you probably haven't considered before — plus the positive impact of allowing yourself and your kids to embrace your unique grief journey.

Our special guest, Krista St-Germain, shares her personal experience of unexpected loss and critical realities that she's discovered about grief.

Krista's traumatic circumstances eventually led her on a journey of hope and healing. As a life coach, she now devotes herself to equipping others with powerful tools to manage grief and love life again — and to help their kids do the same.

Understanding the impact of loss and grief and creating opportunities to heal together is essential for blended families. That's why we're excited to welcome Krista to the show!

You'll Discover:

How to normalize what's normal about loss and grief
The reality of grief being a natural human response to a perceived loss
How to help your kids acknowledge and process grief
What is trauma and post-traumatic growth

Resources from this Episode:

Click this link to Connect with Krista St-Germain
Episode 168. Actionable Steps for Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve
Episode 132. How Does Loss and Grief Impact Blended Family Integration?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Managing "Rule Rage"

2 juli 2024 | 8 min

188. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 2)

25 juni 2024 | 40 min

Discomfort and distress are common experiences for those of us navigating blended dynamics.

One key to learning to manage discomfort and distress well is practicing some simple strategies that acknowledge what you're actually experiencing and then choosing clear, healthy responses.

Now, we know what you're probably thinking…

…"I've done everything possible to cope with my discomfort and distress, but when it comes to this specific person or certain challenging circumstance, I just get so frustrated, hurt, or angry!"

We've both felt that way along our journey as well.

That's why we're continuing our discussion in this 2 part series. In this episode, we're offering practical ways to withstand 'Opposing Obstacles' — those people or circumstances that leave you feeling powerless, overwhelmed, hopeless, or defeated.

We'll share some challenges we experienced with our biggest Opposing Obstacle and effective ways to approach difficult interactions and painful situations — which can ultimately help you tolerate and manage your discomfort and distress too!

You'll Discover:

The value of 'Radical Self-Care' (it's not what you might think)
How to guard yourself from other people's bad moods - and not allow their problems to become yours
Practical ways to withstand 'Opposing Obstacles' and respond well to criticism, rejection, and hostility
How to hold onto your power in challenging situations - and experience more joy

Resources from this Episode:

Click here for episodes that focus on impactful strategies and best practices with Co-Parenting
To learn more about our RelateStrong Program, click and schedule your FREE coaching call

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

187. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 1)

18 juni 2024 | 41 min

What if every moment of blended family life felt fun, connected, and peaceful?

It's pretty hard to imagine. We all know the struggles and challenges that barrage us each day. It might seem like there's way more discomfort and distress than there is fun and connection.

We've navigated countless seasons of discomfort over the past couple of decades and struggled through intense moments of distress as well. One thing we've discovered is that these difficult experiences don't have to rob us of the peace and satisfaction we really want.

Discomfort and distress are simply part of the journey — and they're hard to cope with. But even in the midst of these moments, we each have the power to choose how we will respond.

In this episode, you'll discover a few mindsets and approaches to dealing with discomfort and distress so that you can be free to enjoy the good moments with more confidence and peace.

You'll Discover:

Why it's critical in blended dynamics to tolerate and manage discomfort and distress
How to move away from avoidance and unhealthy reactions that perpetuate underlying issues
A practical approach to reduce your discomfort and distress

Resources from this Episode:

Take the Blended Family Breakthrough QUIZ
Check out the Blending Together Community
Episode 107. 3 Disheartening Realities That No Couple Wants To Go Through - But We All Have To
Episode 184. The Heart of Motherhood: Navigating Messy Moments with Empathy and Love
Episode 168. Actionable Steps for Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve
Episode 172. 2 Key Elements to Resolve Your Parenting Style Differences - And Get United
Episode 59. Why are you stuck in a parent-child allegiance? (Part 1)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Tha

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: A Formula for Trust Building

11 juni 2024 | 7 min

186. How to Build an Atmosphere of Trust and Influence as a Stepfather [with Gil Stuart]

4 juni 2024 | 59 min

Hey Stepdads — ever wonder if you're "winning or losing" in your role at home?

Most stepdads I meet genuinely want to build trust with their stepkids and influence them toward success in life. But sometimes it feels like there's a bit too much chaos in the home — or you're not quite on the same page with your wife.

The typical challenges of blending families often feel like they get in the way of you making the impact you really want to make.

I get that feeling, and so does Gil Stuart, our guest for this episode. Gil is a dad and stepdad who has experienced the ups and downs of blending 7 kids along with his wife, Brenda. Gil is a counselor, author, speaker, and down-to-earth guy.

If you want to discover new ways to build trust and influence in your home, this episode is for you.

You'll Discover:

A healthy mindset around commitment, influence, trustability, and connection
How to create emotional safety and avoid relational damage
Understanding the 'Rock-and-A-Hard-Place' dilemma - and navigating it well
The importance of unity and flexibility
Practical tips for loving well in challenging situations

Resources from this Episode:

Click here to connect with Gil
For more information on Unsung Heroes

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Where do you get sound advice?

28 maj 2024 | 9 min

185. Overcome Isolation and Loneliness By Plugging Into a Supportive Community

21 maj 2024 | 28 min

Have the challenges of blending a family ever left you feeling alone?

Maybe you've felt like you're the only one experiencing the unique realities of blended family life.

Maybe you're struggling with parenting complexities and your friends just don't get it. Or communication is tense in your couple relationship and your extended family can't seem to understand why.

Maybe the kids are acting out or shutting down and it's hard to explain to everyone around you. Or maybe there's ongoing chaos stirred up by a difficult Ex and everyone's "advice" doesn't seem to be helpful.

The truth is, regardless of the challenges you're facing — you are NOT alone!

In this episode, we're connecting with a couple from our blended family support community. Chris and Nicole are one of our founding members who felt "isolated" and "horrible" before getting connected to our community.

Listen in to discover how a community of other blended couples can empower you to make a difference in your home — just like Chris and Nicole who didn't stay stuck in their pain and confusion.

if you've ever felt alone in your blending journey, this is the episode for you. And who knows, you might discover that a community focused on growth, practical tools, and genuine support could be exactly what you're looking for.

Resources from this Episode:

JOIN the Blending Together Community
166. Empowering Benefits of A Blended Family Community — and How to Get Plugged In
Episode 139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences (Trapped Teammate & Stranded Stranger Dynamic)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Celebration and Support for Stepmoms

14 maj 2024 | 5 min

184. The Heart of Motherhood: Navigating Messy Moments with Empathy and Love

7 maj 2024 | 35 min

Simple Step: Build Your Parenting Partnership

30 april 2024 | 7 min

183. What's the difference between "coupleness" and "familyness" and why does it matter?

23 april 2024 | 44 min

Does it ever feel like you have a bit of a double life going?

You have those moments when it's just you and your partner and it feels like all is right with the world…

…but suddenly, when one or both sets of kids enter the scene — everything seems to fall apart!

That's because when it comes to blended families, "coupleness" does NOT necessarily equal "familyness".

This is often a tough reality to accept. You're deeply in love and excited about building a life together, but it seems that you've got some emotional and relational whiplash as it feels like you're tossed back and forth between two dynamics over and over.

If that strikes a chord, you might want to consider the difference between "coupleness" and "familyness".. Otherwise disappointment and confusion can quickly set in.

Blending a family is so much more than your couple relationship. That's why it's important to carefully consider what it takes to build "familyness" and prepare for the road ahead.

In this episode, we'll explore how to intentionally approach "Familyness" so that you can reduce relational tension and create genuine connection in your home.

You'll Discover:

How to avoid the 'easy wrong turns' couples tend to make around building "familyness"
Empowering insights and practical strategies to successfully build "familyness"

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 39. How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids
Episode 130. How to Build Trust that Nurtures Bonds with Your Kids and Stepkids
Episode 136. How to Intentionally Create Positive Family Time and Reduce Relational Tension
Episode 72. The Best Way to Create Healthy Bonded Relationships (How to "Cook" a Stepfamily)
All Episodes that Focus on:
Bonding
Parenting/Stepparenting
Books by Ron Deal:
The Smart Stepfamily
Preparing to Blend
Building Love Together in Blended Families

Ready for some extra support?

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Collaborative Family Leadership

16 april 2024 | 7 min

182. How to Lead Your Blended Family with Intentionality and Courage [with Mike Haney]

9 april 2024 | 64 min

I (Mike) take leadership very seriously.

One of my desires, even in our current empty nest years is to be the kind of family leader that my children and stepchild want to connect with and listen to.

But often I feel overwhelmed or frustrated as I lead my blended family. All the complexities can lead to confusion that robs me of the confidence and connection I'm trying to build.

Guys — have you ever felt that way?

You certainly aren't alone. And you don't have to figure it all out by yourself.

In this episode, we're reconnecting with Mike Haney who will offer his insightful perspectives on how to intentionally lead your blended family.

Mike has been courageously leading his blended family for over 20 years and this discussion will help you to gain hope through a deeper understanding of your role so that you can experience fulfillment in your marriage and in blended family life.

Don't let the complexities of blending keep you from courageously leading your family. You can be intentional and effective with the right attitude and understanding. Then you can experience the confidence, connection (and peace) you're looking for!

You'll Discover:

Why it's critical to gain information and understanding of the complexities of leading a blended family
How to manage your anger and frustration when faced with challenges
The 5 Stages of relationships and positive ways to cherish and connect with your wife as you move through them
How to break free from unproductive patterns

Resources from this Episode:

To connect with Mike Haney go to: Courageous Coaching for Men

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: What to do when you're alone with your step-kids

2 april 2024 | 6 min

181. Discover Insider Tips, Strategies, and Attitudes from One Dedicated Stepdad [with Special Guest Mike Haney]

26 mars 2024 | 73 min

Stepdads need courage!

Navigating all the complexities, confusion, and common frustrations is not for the faint-hearted.

But it's not just courage stepdad's need, they also need community. Sure, lots of guys operate as if they can fix the challenges, untangle the complexities, and "be the hero" on their own — but most experience relief and reassurance when they discover they're not alone!

Our special guest, Mike Haney is on a mission to encourage stepdads and share what he's learned through almost 23 years of blending!

In this episode, I (Kim) will be interviewing two stepdads — my Mike and Mike Haney. Both of these men are experienced stepdads who've acquired loads of wisdom over more than two decades. They've learned from their mistakes and discovered some key elements every man needs to become the stepdad they really want to be!

If you're a stepdad (or you're married to one), you don't want to miss this insightful (and humorous) conversation.

You'll Discover:

Solid tips and valuable insight for Stepdads (and moms too)
The unique role Stepdads play and the best approach to parenting
The importance of building a partnership with your wife
Helpful attitudes around how to relate with your wife's Ex-husband

Resources from this Episode:

To connect with Mike Haney go to: Courageous Coaching for Men

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The ONE Thing You Can do to Blend with Success

19 mars 2024 | 7 min

180. Break free from Guilt and Blend with Authenticity and Security

12 mars 2024 | 37 min

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in an emotional minefield?

For many couples, when a sense of guilt creeps in, it can be debilitating. They might want to move toward blending but find themselves trapped in a minefield of guilt and regret.

I (Kim) stayed stuck in my own personal minefield of guilt for way too long. It impacted every area of my life — particularly the way I dealt with our blended family challenges.

In this episode, I share how I eventually broke FREE from unhealthy guilt and learned to manage my difficult emotions from a healthy, secure place of growth and empowerment!

Don't stay stuck or burdened by ongoing guilt. Hop into this episode and discover some practical ways you can move forward.

You'll Discover:

The difference between healthy guilt and unhealthy, false guilt
How to authentically grow security and confidence as you move toward blending
Healthy perspectives and practical steps to break free from debilitating guilt and painful regret

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 99. 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Article by Paul Coughlin: Origins of False Guilt
Episode 168. Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve
Episode 98. Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Whole Heartedly?
Episode 119. 6 Tips to Grow Empathy and Create More Connection in Your Marriage
Episode 147. Do Sensitive Conversations End up Creating Conflict in Your Relationship?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

179. Conquer Fear and Embrace Your Blend with Confidence and Clarity

5 mars 2024 | 34 min

Fear is often driven by the unknown…

…and it's no surprise that many couples struggle with all the unknown factors of blending. Ambiguity is simply part of the blending journey.

All the ambiguity can quickly lead to fear:

fear of what might happen if blending doesn't go well
fear of failing.
fear of how the kids might react
fear of the impact of an unsupportive Ex Spouse

When it comes to blending a family, there's no shortage of realities that can create valid fear and real concerns.

But blending can sometimes trigger fear that's somewhat irrational or anticipatory too.

All of this can leave couples feeling overwhelmed, confused and stuck!

They want to move forward and build a life together, but they promptly pump the breaks on blending when ambiguity triggers debilitating fear.

In this episode, we'll explore effective ways to work through ambiguity and fear, so that you can conquer it and embrace your blend with the clarity and confidence you need to move forward.

You'll Discover:

The importance of exploring your valid fears and concerns before you blend
Some "yellow" and "red" flags to consider
How to separate valid fear from irrational, anticipatory fear
How to manage ambiguity for yourself and your kids

Resources from this Episode:

Book by Ron Deal: Preparing to Blend: The Couple's Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily
Episode 5. How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers From Your Past
Episode 109. Preparing to Blend (with Special Guest Ron Deal)
Episode 105. What Powerful Traits Do You Need to Successfully Blend and Stay United?
Episode 92. At a Loss and Feel Defeated Because the Kids Stubbornly Refuse to Blend?
Episode 93. How to Overcome Power Struggles When Kids Oppose Your Decision to Remarry
Episode 141. Can My Kids Be Emotionally Harmed by Blended Family Dynamics?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Technology Tips for Teens

27 februari 2024 | 7 min

178. Surviving the Turbulent Teen Years: Expert Insight and Strategies for Today's Parent [With Dr. Michael Bradley]

20 februari 2024 | 74 min

Ever felt like your teen is completely crazy or maybe you feel like the crazy one — you're not alone!

Raising teens is not for the faint-hearted parent or stepparent. But what if this "crazy" season doesn't have to be filled with fear or anger? What if you could find practical ways to hold boundaries, stay connected, and experience a little peace even as you support your teen in their journey to adulthood?

In this episode, we'll explore why teenagers behave in ways that are crazy and how you can equip yourself to better understand, support, and connect with them.

To help us not just survive the teen years, but discover ways to thrive, we've invited an expert to share his vast wisdom and personal parenting struggles with us!

Dr. Michael Bradley is a clinical psychologist, a leading expert of adolescent behavior, and is the author of several bestselling books that focus on saving today's overwhelmed teens with love, laughter, and the science of resilience. Dr. Mike has been working with teens and their parents for over 30 years as a clinical therapist.

If you've got an adolescent about to hit their teen years or you're already frustrated with a teen and wondering how you'll survive getting them to adulthood with everyone intact, this is episode is for you!

You'll Discover:

Why teenagers behave in ways that are crazy
How to love and support your teen, while holding appropriate boundaries
Strategies to manage your fear, stress, frustration, and anger in tough parenting moments

Resources from this Episode:

Book: Crazy-Stressed by Dr. Michael J. Bradley

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Meeting Our Partner's Deepest Need

13 februari 2024 | 9 min

177. Unleash the Power of Friendship This Valentines Day and Beyond

6 februari 2024 | 51 min

176. Uncover Your Relationship Style and Gain Hopeful Insights From Our Journey

30 januari 2024 | 39 min

Do you ever think about your romantic relationship now compared to what you'd really like to experience as a couple?

If you ever wonder (or even feel hopeless) about how to make progress, you're in the right place today.

Research reveals five different Relationship Styles based on a combination of things like communication habits, conflict resolution, parenting partnership, and finance management. In addition, aspects of leisure time, sexuality, friends and family, role sharing, and spiritual beliefs all play a part.

The truth is that your romantic relationship has a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses across all of these aspects.

Understanding your particular combination helps you discover where you are now and how to grow your relationship toward what you really want.

As we look back over our journey, we've realized that different seasons of life have had a big impact on our marital experience and shifted our relationship style.

In this episode, we'll unpack 5 Relationship Styles. We'll also share a few surprising and hopeful pieces of our story that might help you navigate the season you're in right now to reach your ideal relationship style!

You'll Discover:

Unique characteristics that reveal 5 different relationship styles
Strengths and weaknesses in your relationship and how to reach your ideal relationship style.
Hopeful (maybe surprising) insights about our relationship as we've navigated 23 years of blending.

Resources from this Episode:

Book: The Smart Stepfamily Marriage by Ron Deal
Browse other episodes on the topic of marriage/partnership

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Keeping Kids Out of the Middle

23 januari 2024 | 8 min

175. 8 Tips to Protect Kids From Stress and Tension When Moving Between Homes

16 januari 2024 | 40 min

Children moving between two homes WANT one thing — to be connected to the people they love. And what they NEED most is to experience peace and freedom to simply enjoy time spent with each of their parents.

This might seem simple, but many kids don't get what they want or need due to unhealthy co-parenting patterns. Most often, that leads to unnecessary stress and tension for kids.

Why do we say it's unnecessary?

Because parents and step-parents CAN make a difference and protect the kids. When you do your part to follow the 8 tips we share in this episode, you'll be setting your kids up for the best possible outcomes as they move between their two homes.

You'll Discover:

8 Practical tips to safeguard your kids from stress and tension as they move between homes
How to manage the challenging dynamics of co-parenting and set your kids up for the best possible outcomes

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 41. Are you unintentionally putting your kids in the middle?
Episode 6. Are Your Kids Stuck in a 'Parental Allegiance' - and What Can You Do About It?
Episode 161. How do Healthy Parent/Child Roles Help Avoid the Pitfalls of Parentification?
Episode 153. How to Empower Organization, Improve Communication and Create Peace Between Your Kid's Two Homes
Episode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 7. Toxic Ex's and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps that Help
All Episodes that focus on healthy Co-Parenting

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe to Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Effective Dialog with Tweens & Teens

9 januari 2024 | 6 min

174. How to Raise Confident Kids by Building a Solid Foundation for Success in Life [with Special Guest Nellie Harden]

2 januari 2024 | 66 min

You want to raise kids who are equipped for success in life, right? You want them to have confidence, a sense of esteem, and worth. But this can feel like an unattainable goal in a world constantly sending mixed messages. Maybe you've felt hopeless when you add in the wake of complex family dynamics and trauma that may have occurred in your family along the way.

But the truth is, it's not hopeless and your parental voice matters — even in those moments when it doesn't feel that way.

Our expert guest in this episode, Nellie Harden, offers every parent real hope!

She'll share some of her personal journey growing up in a blended family as well as parenting four girls, who are all currently teenagers. Her quest for healing and a desire to set her children up for success has brought her to where she is today — helping parents love and lead their teen/tween children in a way that teaches them to love and lead themselves while building a strong foundation of worth, esteem, and confidence. All before they launch into adulthood!

If your goal is to equip your kids and stepkids with the foundation they'll need for success in life, then don't miss Nellie's insight, wisdom, and encouragement in this episode.

You'll Discover:

How to love and lead kids in a way that teaches them to love and lead themselves
Practical steps for building a strong foundation of worth, esteem, and confidence in our kids that sets them up for success in life
Insight and strategies for facing trauma and moving forward

Resources from this Episode:

Connect with Nellie Harden - explore her resources and programs

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Turning Setbacks into Real Growth

26 december 2023 | 8 min

173. Expert Guidance for Holiday Success

19 december 2023 | 48 min

You want to experience a little holiday magic and meaningful connection in your blended family, right?

But the challenges and tensions that emerge for blended families during the holiday season often rob us of the bonding experience we're hoping for.

High expectations, difficult emotions, and logistical complications seem to bombard everyone — particularly when it comes to managing transitions and blending traditions.

In this episode, we're talking with Joneen Mackenzie and Lauren Reitsema about their personal stories of managing the holidays. They're a mother-daughter duo who've navigated divorce and blending. Now they offer their expert guidance to help others blend well, build genuine connections, and learn how to best support all the kids through change, loss, and grief.

Lauren is the author of In Their Shoes, where she shares her experiences of living through her parent's divorce and later their remarriages. Together, Lauren and Joneen have co-authored a book called Relationship Essentials. Joneen founded The Center for Relationship Education where Lauren is currently serving as well. They both use their experience and expert knowledge to help others cultivate healthy dynamics and deeper connections in all their relationships.

We're confident you'll find valuable insight from Joneen and Lauren's holiday hindsight and use it as foresight as you navigate your blended family holidays.

Who knows? Maybe you'll get to experience a little more fun as you manage transitions and merge traditions in your blended family — and enjoy a little more magic this year!

You'll Discover:

Firsthand experiences of divorce, remarriage, and the challenges of blending from the unique perspectives of both mother and daughter
Valuable insights into the emotional struggle that kids experience around holiday transitions and traditions - and how you can help
Practical advice to help minimize stress and increase the magic around your holiday celebration

Resources from this Episode:

Lauren Reitsema's book: In Their Shoes - Helping Parents Better Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce
Lauren and Joneen's latest book: Relationship Essentials
Episode 40: Uncover the unspoken feelings of kids in blended families [Special Resource: In Their Shoes]

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” —we really

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The Unpredictable Parenting Style

12 december 2023 | 6 min

172. 2 Key Elements to Resolve Your Parenting Style Differences — And Get United

5 december 2023 | 51 min

Simple Step: Break Free From "Perfectionistic" Holiday Ideals

28 november 2023 | 10 min

171. How to Experience More Fun, Connection, and Joy this Holiday Season [with Rich and Stacy]

21 november 2023 | 51 min

Simple Step: How to Improve Co-Parenting

14 november 2023 | 6 min

170. Co-Parenting Pitfalls for Bio and Step Parents: How to Avoid "Milestone Mishaps"

7 november 2023 | 28 min

You probably know that kids moving between two homes thrive when all the adults — in both homes — cooperate to create stability and peace.

That's absolutely true.

It's also true that the adults (both bio and step-parents) thrive when trust and consideration exist between homes and tension is low.

But when it comes to the art of healthy co-parenting, talk is cheap.

Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and communication breakdowns are hard to avoid. And they tend to shatter the peace for kids and adults in the delicate dynamics of co-parenting.

We all need more than just talk — or information about co-parenting. What we really need is transformation.

And the great news is that transformation is possible!

A few simple strategies and a little mindfulness go a long, long way in reducing drama and cultivating peaceful cooperation. You can proactively avoid and recover from the most common co-parenting pitfalls.

In this episode, we share some helpful tips for both bio and step-parents to improve co-parenting relationships so that everyone can enjoy more cooperation and peace!

You'll Discover:

Practical strategies for both Step and Bio Parents to help avoid the pitfalls of milestone mishaps and cultivate more cooperation, trust, and peace between homes.

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - and Hurt the Kids
Episode 113. How to Respond When You're Being Disregarded, Devalued and Dismissed by Your Former Spouse
Episode 131. Why is Trust Important in Your Co-parenting Relationship

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Parent's Remarriage with Adult Children

31 oktober 2023 | 7 min

169. Real Insight and Advice for Remarried Parents AND Their Concerned Adult Children

24 oktober 2023 | 34 min

Stepfamily expert Ron Deal says, "Never mind that your children are adults, this is a hard transition for them because it comes at a great cost".

In this episode, we'll uncover the challenging family issues that often come up when a parent with adult children chooses to remarry or become romantically involved.

We'll explore these sensitive issues from two unique perspectives. The perspective of the parent who is struggling to understand why their adult child is reacting emotionally to their decision to remarry…

…AND…

…from the perspective of the adult child who could be experiencing painful emotions as they struggle to accept their parent's remarriage.

This episode is an opportunity for parent and adult child to help ease tensions, preserve your relationship, and take a step forward as a family.

You'll Discover:

Valuable insight and understanding around the perspective of everyone in your family
Practical tips for communicating, maintaining connection, and moving beyond the tension

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 168. Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve
Episode 72. The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 140. Blending with Adult Children - One Couple's Story of Heartache and Triumph
Episode 118. Meaningful Insight & Practical Strategies to Help Your Blended Family Navigate Holiday Challenges
Book by Lauren Reitsema: In Their Shoes - Helping Parents better understand and connect with children of divorce

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: When Emotion Coaching Might Not Be Appropriate

17 oktober 2023 | 5 min

168 (Part 4) Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve

13 oktober 2023 | 35 min

168 (Part 3) Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve

12 oktober 2023 | 13 min

168 (Part 2) Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve

11 oktober 2023 | 16 min

168 (Part 1) Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve

10 oktober 2023 | 28 min

Simple Step: Barriers to Building Your Foundation

3 oktober 2023 | 7 min

167. 3 Achievable Strategies to Make Your Marriage the Foundation of Your Blended Family

26 september 2023 | 42 min

Simple Step: Excelling Together

19 september 2023 | 7 min

166. Empowering Benefits of a Blended Family Community — and How to Get Plugged In

12 september 2023 | 45 min

Have the challenges of blending a family ever left you feeling alone?

Maybe you've felt like you're the only one experiencing the unique realities of blended family life.

Maybe you're struggling with parenting complexities and your friends just don't get it. Or communication is tense in your couple relationship and your extended family can't seem to understand why.

Maybe the kids are acting out or shutting down and it's hard to explain to everyone around you. Or maybe there's ongoing chaos stirred up by a difficult Ex and everyone's "advice" doesn't seem to be helpful.

The truth is, regardless of the challenges you're facing — you are NOT alone!

In this episode, we're connecting with a couple from our blended family support community. Chris and Nicole are one of our founding members who felt "isolated" and "horrible" before getting connected to our community.

Listen in to discover how a community of other blended couples can empower you to make a difference in your home — just like Chris and Nicole who didn't stay stuck in their pain and confusion.

If you've ever felt alone in your blending journey, this is the episode for you. And who knows, you might discover that a community focused on growth, practical tools, and genuine support could be exactly what you're looking for.

And if you're ready to join the "Blending Together" community right away, just click this link: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/blendingtogether

You'll Discover:

How one of our founding member couples - Chris and Nicole - have benefitted from our supportive community called "Blending Together"
How you (and your family ) might overcome challenges through a growth-minded community full of couples that are in the same boat as you
Whether our "Blending Together" community is the place for you to take the next positive step in your blending journey

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences (Trapped Teammate / Stranded Stranger Dynamic)
Episode 145. Do you feel alone and isolated navigating the challenges of stepfamily life?
Join the Community here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/blendingtogether

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

165. How important is your mindset when it comes to blended family life?

5 september 2023 | 41 min

If you're like me (Mike), when you encounter a challenging situation, you're determined to successfully conquer it. You'll jump right in by engaging with lots of resources like books or podcasts — and reaching out for professional support if needed. You don't want to stay stuck and you're all about new learning and growth.

But if this does NOT describe you, maybe you're more naturally like Kim. She tends to be more comfortable staying stuck in a challenge much longer than I am. She has her own unique perspectives on how to approach a challenge and moves at a different pace than me. Seeking and engaging in new learning is outside her comfort zone and she's more resistant to growth.

The truth is that Kim WAS like this in our early years of blending. Her "fixed" mindset and my "growth" mindset put us in opposition to how to move forward in facing our challenges.

And our different mindsets ended up creating even MORE challenging situations for us as a couple - it was difficult to stay united and we were often frustrated with each other.

But eventually, we figured out how to overcome our opposing mindsets and work as a team to make real progress in our blended family challenges.

In this episode, we'll explore the importance of mindset and offer practical tips for cultivating a growth mindset (which Kim has used over the years). We'll also share how we were able to get on the same page with growth while honoring our individual differences.

You'll Discover:

The difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset
The benefits of cultivating a growth mindset while leading your blended family
Practical ways to move toward a growth mindset - even if you tend to naturally resist growth or experience tough emotions
A helpful approach in supporting and encouraging your fixed-minded partner without adding pressure and unrealistic expectation

Resources from this Episode:

We mentioned the book Soundtracks by Jon Acuff

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, w

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

What we've learned this summer...

29 augusti 2023 | 12 min

164. A Practical Tool to Help You Stay Focused on Your Biggest Blended Family Challenge

30 maj 2023 | 12 min

Simple Step: Intentional Steps Toward Success

23 maj 2023 | 8 min

163. How Intentionality Helped One Couple to Accomplish a Successful Blend (with Special Guests Sean & Staci)

16 maj 2023 | 49 min

Have you ever wondered what it really takes to blend your family successfully?

Whether you've been blending for years or you're just getting started, you're probably aware there are complex and difficult dynamics that come with the territory. Yet, you might not be sure what to do to lead your family forward.

That's exactly where our special guests, Sean and Staci were 7 years ago when they fell in love and began moving toward marriage. They were aware that challenges would come with blending, but they weren't quite sure how they could navigate through them successfully.

Listen in as Sean and Staci share the intentional steps they took to prepare and equip themselves to move their two families under one roof…

…and how they continue to successfully face every challenge that comes their way — even now that they're more than 6 years into their blend.

Discover how this couple intentionally 'beat the blending odds', by working together to build healthy bonds, safeguard their marriage and create a peaceful home for their blended family of six.

You'll Discover:

One couple's inspiring story of beating the odds and blending with success
Intentional strategies, insights, and mindset shifts to ease tensions and promote family integration
How to proactively avoid being blindsided and making the most common 'easy wrong turns' while blending

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Mother's Day Tips for Husbands

9 maj 2023 | 7 min

162. How do Healthy Step-Parent/Step-Child Dynamics Help Avoid the Pitfalls of Step-Parentification? [with Ron Deal and Lauren Reitsema]

2 maj 2023 | 41 min

Parentification is one thing — but Step-Parentification is unique to itself.

In this episode, we'll continue our conversation with experts Ron Deal and Lauren Reitsema to discuss the challenges of Step-Parentification.

The reality is that kids whose parent has remarried are now navigating a relationship with a step-parent. Step-relationships can be tough for everyone involved.

And navigating the expectations that come with new or not-yet-established relationships in the home can make any family susceptible to inadvertently slide into unhealthy roles or misplaced boundaries.

No loving parent wants that for their kids — and neither does their caring step-parent.

That's why it's important for all the adults to be aware of how blended family dynamics can often set the stage for Step-Parentification to emerge.

Last week we talked with Ron and Lauren about Parentification, but step-parentification is an additional element we all need to understand so that we can avoid it.

We're picking the conversation up right where we left off to help you identify and define healthy step-parent/step-child roles and establish appropriate boundaries in your home.

You'll Discover:

What "Step-Parentification" is and what it's not
The negative impact of Step-Parentification for kids now and into their future
Practical ways to safeguard your kids and step-kids from the burdens of Step-Parentification
What to do if Step-Parentification is going on in your kids' other home
What healthy roles and appropriate boundaries look like for a blended family

Resources from this Episode:

Article: Your Child Is Not Your Confidant from The Washington Post
Book: In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema
Book: Building Love Together in Blended Families by Ron Deal & Gary Chapman

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

161. How do Healthy Parent/Child Roles Help Avoid the Pitfalls of Parentification? [with Ron Deal and Lauren Reitsema]

25 april 2023 | 62 min

Kids and adults experienced losses in their journey from first family to blended family life.

Of course, we all want to protect our kids, but the reality is those previous losses can place each of us at risk of developing relational dysfunction.

This certainly isn't what any caring parent wants to hear…

…but it's critical for all of us to be aware of how we can inadvertently slide into unhealthy roles with our kids. Sometimes well meaning, but misplaced boundaries can set the stage for relational dysfunction.

One type of dysfunctional result has a name: Parentification.

Whether you've heard about Parentification before or you have no idea what we're talking about, you'll want to pay attention to today's essential discussion with our expert guests.

Ron Deal and Lauren Reitsema are joining us in this episode to talk about what Parentification actually is, the ramifications of this dysfunction, and how to protect your kids by preserving their childhood.

This is an informative conversation with deep insight that will help you identify and define healthy parent/child roles and establish appropriate boundaries in your home.

You'll Discover:

What "Parentification" is and what it's not
The negative impact of Parentification for kids now and into their future
Practical ways to safeguard your kids from the burdens of Parentification
What to do if Parentification is going on in your kids' other home
What healthy roles and appropriate boundaries look like for a blended family

Resources from this Episode:

Book: In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema
Book: Building Love Together in Blended Families by Ron Deal & Gary Chapman
Episode 99: 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Setting Reasonable Behavioral Expectations

18 april 2023 | 6 min

160. A 4-Part Framework for Achievable Expectations and How to Live Them Out

11 april 2023 | 39 min

You've probably heard the advice to lower your expectations when you're blending a family. But what does that really mean?

Does it mean you're supposed to keep the bar low and not expect much of anything? Or is there something more to this common advice for blended families?

In this episode, we'll explore the difference between lowering your expectations altogether vs. developing achievable expectations for your family.

I (Mike) struggled for years holding onto unrealistic expectations that added a whole lot of pressure and stress to our situation. Eventually, I realized that holding onto my own "dreams" and expecting everyone else to comply was taking us in the opposite direction of what I wanted.

My high expectations were sabotaging our progress.

But realizing this didn't mean I needed to give up on my hopes for our family — I really wanted good things for all of us.

Listen in as Kim and I discuss how we eventually learned to get united, to set realistic expectations for our home, and make real progress toward those things we each wanted to experience in our blended family.

You'll Discover:

What it really means to "lower" your expectations — in a healthy way
How to embrace realistic expectations without lowering the bar
The difference between relational expectations and behavioral expectations
Practical ways to reduce disappointment, hold onto hope, and live out achievable expectations in your home

Resources from this Episode:

What is the Stranded Stranger / Trapped Teammate Dynamic? Check out this episode to find out: 139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Bended Couples Experiences
Here's another helpful episode on this topic: 53. Overcoming Discouragement (part 3 of 3)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Build Meaningful Bonds with Your Stepchildren

4 april 2023 | 8 min

159. How to Stay Hopeful as a Stepparent When You're Continually Rejected and Hurt

28 mars 2023 | 48 min

Stepparents want to feel connected in their blended family. They often invest their energy and efforts into serving with a genuinely hopeful heart.

But frequently, we hear from heartbroken stepparents that are exhausted. They feel like they've tried everything to break through the barriers with a resistant stepchild.

But nothing seems to be working and they're starting to lose hope. Their stepchild continues to treat them with disrespect, push them away, or even act as if they don't exist.

These stepparents feel frustrated, confused, hurt, annoyed, angry and hopeless…

…it's a painful place to be.

But the truth is — there is hope!

In this episode, we'll explore real-life strategies for a real-life struggle that multitudes of stepparents experience across the world. The struggle?

Rejection.

If you’re a stepparent who feels rejected by a stepchild you simply want to love, this episode is for you.

Hop into the discussion to discover what you can do to hold onto hope and create an environment where connection and healthy bonds can emerge in your home — even with a resistant stepchild.

You'll Discover:

How to stay empowered in your own sense of worth and maintain your personal resolve to keep trying
Practical strategies to create an environment where more connection and healthy bonds can emerge — even in the face of rejection

Resources from this Episode:

In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema
Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman & Ron Deal
The Smart Step Mom by Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge
Stepparenting: Keeping it Sane by Charles Fay, Ph.D.
Episode 157: 3 Seasoned Stepmoms Share How They've Survived and Thrived in Their Blended Family Journey
Episode 47: How to Like Your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
Episode 30: Should Stepparents WANT Authority with their Step-Kids?
Episode 37: Why do Kids Struggle to Accept their Stepparent?
Episode 39: How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Episode 26: Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step-Kids?
Episode 25: How to Survive Time Alone with Your Step-Kids

Quick reference to all episodes on 'Kid's Perspectives'

Ready for some extra support?
Schedule your free call here: https

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Building Trust with a Stepchild

21 mars 2023 | 6 min

158. An Effective Stepparenting Approach Focused on What Works — and What Doesn't

14 mars 2023 | 55 min

Stepparents typically have great intentions and high expectations around the role they'll play in their blended family.

But it doesn't take long for them to realize how daunting stepparenting can actually be!

When a well-meaning stepparent finds themselves frustrated with the pre-established patterns of how their new partner tends to parent, they often make an easy wrong turn…

…they attempt to jump into directing and correcting. And when that approach backfires, it often leads to a whole lot of pushback and tension in the home — within the step relationships AND between the adults.

Whether you've inadvertently made this easy wrong turn or if you're simply hoping to avoid it, we've to some good news! There are practical ways to more effectively embrace your role as a stepparent — even when you're feeling frustrated.

In this episode, we'll be sharing some helpful strategies from an excellent resource specifically for stepparents. (And the great thing is, many of the concepts also apply to bio-parents.)

Discover how you can avoid power struggles, reduce conflict, gain confidence, and work together to become effective parenting partners.

You'll Discover:

The common "melodrama" of blended family dynamics that sets up dysfunction
How to take care of yourself as a stepparent by setting enforceable limits
The benefits of using a parenting method as you strengthen your partnership and calm the chaos in your home

Resources from this Episode:

Stepparenting: Keeping it Sane by Charles Fay, Ph.D.
Quick reference to all episodes on Parenting and Discipline

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: What Kind of Stepparent are You Becoming?

7 mars 2023 | 6 min

If you're a stepparent, consider these important questions:

What are the "gaps" that you've identified? Challenge yourself to examine if they happen to be reasonable differences in how you and your partner approach parenting.
Are your interactions with your step kids focused more on correction or connection?
Do you eagerly jump into fix-it mode?
Do you feel yourself becoming someone you never wanted to be in your blended family - maybe you appear to be overbearing or emotionally fragile?
How can you take a step back from correction and find practical ways to create more trust and connection with your step kids?

Resources from the Simple Step

Episode 157. 3 Seasoned Stepmoms Share How They've Survived and Thrived in Their Blended Family Journey

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

157. 3 Seasoned Stepmoms Share How They've Survived and Thrived in Their Blended Family Journey

28 februari 2023 | 66 min

It's been said that being a Stepmom is like setting your hair on fire and trying to put it out with a hammer!

The reality for many stepmoms is a regular sense of rejection, pressure, disrespect, or even slander. It can be a struggle to hold onto their own identity — to find their place and their purpose as the family "blends".

A stepmom's pain, confusion, and disappointment might feel overwhelming and can keep them stuck in survival mode.

But there's always hope!

In this episode, our friends Brenda, Tiffany, and Stacy candidly share all the ups and downs they've experienced as seasoned stepmoms.

Brenda is a Stepmom, Life Coach, Author, and International Speaker who is passionate about helping marriages and families flourish, especially in the context of blended families. She and her husband founded the ministry "Restored and Remarried" where they provide encouragement and hope to couples in stepfamilies.

Tiffany and Bryan married and began their blending journey almost 10 years ago. Bryan entered the marriage with 2 kids, (currently ages 17 and 19). Tiffany has 1 biological child that she placed for adoption at birth who is now reconnected and very much a part of the family. Tiffany leads a small group for stepmoms, and together with Bryan supplements pre-marriage mentoring for couples preparing to blend.

Stacy has been married to Rich for almost 9 years and is a stepmom to 4 amazing young women. She does not want others to feel alone on their blending journey and is passionate about loving and encouraging other stepmoms and blended family couples.

Each of these courageous stepmoms has struggled through difficult seasons but has stayed the course. They've decided not to settle for just surviving, but chosen to learn how they can truly thrive in their blended families!

You won't want to miss the valuable lessons these three triumphant stepmoms have learned along the way.

You'll Discover:

The biggest challenges, sweetest moments, practical insights, encouragements, and ah-ha revelations from 3 stepmoms who've gone the distance and learned how to not just survive blended family life, but to truly thrive

Resources from this Episode:

Want to connect with Brenda and her husband Gil? Just click this link: https://gilandbrenda.com/
Episode 47: How to Like Your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships (The Crockpot Strategy)
Episode 39: How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids
Episode 37: Why do Kids Struggle to Accept their Stepparent?
Episode 156: The 3 Super Strengths of a Blended Family Marriage

Ready for some extra support?

We all need extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The Super Strength that Leaves a Legacy

21 februari 2023 | 6 min

156. The 3 Super Strengths of a Blended Family Marriage

14 februari 2023 | 40 min

They say hindsight is 20/20. Wouldn't it be cool if you could temporarily fast forward your blending journey about 20 years? You could clarify the most important things to focus on that might lead to success.

You'd come back from that trip through time better equipped to understand the things that matter — and maybe some of the things that don’t.

Unfortunately, we don't have a modified Delorean like Doc Brown to take you to your future. What we do have is our own story of blending over the past 22 years.

So, we can't offer your own personal hindsight…

…but we can share some insight based on our experiences that could be helpful and hopeful in your journey.

In this episode, we're sharing 3 specific insights we've had over the past couple of decades. We call them "Super Strengths". They are 3 of the most critical character traits we've each had to adopt and develop in our journey as a step-couple.

We're confident that if you engage these Super Strengths in your marriage they will lead you to the blending experience you're hoping for.

You'll Discover:

Why you need to focus on more than just the "problems" of blending
How focusing on your own growth can keep you moving forward
The 3 Super Strengths every couple will develop — when they're willing to invest in their blended family

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 11: 3 Hidden Strengths for Imperfect Blended Families
Episode 80: From "Mostly Miserable" to "More In Love" - One Couple's Inspiring Transformation (with Special Guests Wes and Jennie)
Episode 105: What Powerful Traits Do You Need to Successfully Blend and Stay United?
Episode 98: Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Wholeheartedly?
To learn more about Becoming Blended - our coaching program for nearly or newly blended couples, click here to schedule your FREE Coaching Session

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Connecting Together Intentionally

7 februari 2023 | 6 min

155. How to Easily Enjoy Meaningful Conversations and More Connection with Your Spouse [with Jennifer Zumbiel]

31 januari 2023 | 63 min

When we fall in love and choose to spend our life with someone, we might picture a beautiful vision of what we want our relationship to look like…

…relaxed, romantic meals together, the exchange of sweet gestures and affection, supportive encouragement, and genuine heart-to-heart connection.

All that sounds amazing, doesn't it?

But we also know how easy it is for the busyness and business of life to take over. We might feel overwhelmed and discouraged as our connection with each other seems to fade.

For a long time, Mike and I thought we were prioritizing each other. But all the stressful realities of blended family life quickly wedged their way between us. As a result, we endured a painful season of feeling disconnected and alone.

The good news is we didn't stay stuck there — and you don't have to either.

In this episode, our special guest Jennifer Zumbiel will share an easy way to safeguard your relationship and create genuine engagement and meaningful connection.

Jennifer's resource is not only practical but it's fun too! She developed it because she and her hubby needed something to help them stay connected!

As Valentine's Day approaches, how can you make your relationship a priority by going above and beyond the usual?

Discover something new and creative to intentionally make a heart-to-heart connection with your sweetheart on February 14th AND beyond!

Resources from this Episode:

Families that Stick Togather Podcast Episode 140 (Jennifer & Matt's Unedited Marriage Conversation)
Episode 137: Practical Tools to Boost Family Engagement and Grow Meaningful Connection (with Jennifer Zumbiel)
Grab your copy of Togather for Date Night (and some of Jennifer's family products as well). You'll receive a 20% Discount when you use this code: MIKEANDKIM and order before February 28th, 2023

Ready for some extra support:

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: How to Focus on Imperfect Progress

24 januari 2023 | 4 min

154. What practical and emotional shifts can you expect as you blend your family?

17 januari 2023 | 42 min

Everyone knows that change inevitably comes with blending families.

You might already get that, but "getting it" and embracing it are two different things.

Often, couples start off in their blended family journey understanding that change is inevitable, but not fully grasping what those changes ahead might look like — for them and their kids. Then they get blindsided.

Why?

Because moving everyone under the same roof feels like it's going to be a fresh start — an exciting new beginning!

But the reality is that the formation of a blended family also comes with loss. That loss brings pain which impacts everyone's experience as you blend.

We all know that change is hard. There are new things to adapt to. There are old, familiar things to let go of. There are practical logistics and routines that must be adjusted.

And for most of us, emotional struggles come along as we figure out how to do life together in new and different ways.

In this episode, we'll explore some healthy mindset shifts that will help you navigate the inevitable changes that come with blending.

You'll Discover:

Specific areas of change that should be anticipated when blending — and the value of being prepared for what's ahead
Why the process of transition is so challenging
How to manage change from a positive approach
Why learning to make decisions as a team is critical

Resources from this Episode:

Recommended Book by Ron Deal: Preparing to Blend, The Couples Guild to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily
To find out more about our Becoming Blended program for nearly and newly blended couples, click here to schedule your FREE call:
Episode 109: Preparing to Blend with Special Guest Ron Deal
Episode 89: Feeling Stuck in the Change Process? Changing isn't the issue…Transition Is
Episode 134: How to Make Good Decisions in Tough Situations - and Stay Connected as a Couple
Episode 132: How Does Loss and Grief Impact Blended Family Integration?
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships (to understand the "Slow Cooker" strategy)
Episode 88: An Effective Strategy to Prepare Your Kids for the Challenges of Blending

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know your favorite part of the podcast. Thank you, we appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The 4 A's of Communicating with Your Ex

10 januari 2023 | 6 min

153. How to Empower Organization, Improve Communication and Create Peace Between Your Kids Two Homes [with Dr. James and Ginger Dellaripa]

3 januari 2023 | 75 min

For kids who are moving between two homes, the BEST outcomes happen when their parents are able to collaborate well and work together. Kids need reliable support, stability and peace.

You've probably heard that before…

…but actually living that out can be fraught with challenges — especially if you and your former spouse struggle to communicate or stay on track with everything the kids have going on.

It's common for Ex-Spouses to experience miscommunication, ambiguity, or misunderstandings when they're managing all the moving parts. Daily life for co-parents is often overwhelming and frustrating!

But you don't have to stay stuck there.

This week's special guests Dr. James and Ginger Dellaripa have developed a practical tool that will improve communication, empower organization AND create more peace for everyone.

Kick off 2023 with a fresh resolve to implement something new that will help you rise above the co-parenting challenges and provide the reliable support, stability and peace your kids really need!

You'll Discover:

A practical co-parenting tool to reduce conflict and miscommunication between Ex's.
How to empower organization, improve communication and create move peace between your kid's two homes.
How to provide your kids with the reliable support, stability and peace they need.

Resources from this Episode:

Click here to learn more and start your FREE trial with the Family Core Planning System

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Shift Your Energy and Focus

27 december 2022 | 6 min

152. What Has The Potential to Steal Your Joy - And How Can You Hold Onto it (Part 2)

20 december 2022 | 50 min

151. What Has The Potential to Steal Your Joy - And How Can You Hold Onto it (Part 1)

13 december 2022 | 33 min

You want to experience joy when you gather with your family — not just during the holidays, but in everyday life as well.

You might plan, dream, and anticipate how much fun and togetherness you'll experience as a family along the way. You probably look forward to joy-filled moments eating delicious meals, celebrating, and engaging in fun activities together.

But in blended family dynamics, it's easy for your joy to unexpectedly be robbed.

It doesn't take much for disappointment, confusion, or even conflict to come along and pull the joy right out from under us…

…leaving us feeling discouraged, disconnected, and stuck.

In this episode, we're uncovering the common pain points that can easily steal your joy.

Why?

So that you can build awareness and understanding around the sneaky dynamics that tend to emerge and often blindside us. This will set you up for next week's episode where we'll offer practical tips, strategies, and mindset shifts to help you hold onto more joy this holiday season and beyond.

You'll Discover:

3 common dynamics that often rob our joy and leave us feeling disappointed, confused, and even kick up conflict.

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 77: 3 Unique Differences that make a Blended Family Marriage Challenging
Episode 15: 7 Unexpected Realities That Can Leave You Feeling Blindsided
Episode 118: Meaningful Insight and Practical Strategies to Help Your Blended Family Navigate Holiday Challenges
Episode 139: The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Insights for Navigating Holiday Chaos

6 december 2022 | 5 min

150. The Highs and Lows of Our Family's Holiday Experiences [Special Guests: Our Kids — Annika, Phoebe and Jacob!]

29 november 2022 | 63 min

Isn't it fun to reminisce sometimes?

We love spending time remembering the journey with our family. It's great to recall some of those funny moments in our history. And it's meaningful when we recount the tough seasons we've endured together as well.

In celebration of our 150th episode, we thought we'd let you listen in to our family reminisce over some of the ups and downs of our Holiday experiences over the past 20+ years.

We wonder if it might stir up a bit of hope for your own future as you hear some of our stories through the voices of all our kids. We've experienced some high points, and low points as a family over the years - and your family will too. But as you navigate it together, we believe you can experience closeness, gratitude, and joy as a family — and we hope our discussion blesses you this season.

In this episode, you'll discover how our kids answered these questions as they share their holiday experiences living in our blended family:

What are your favorite memories (including funny ones)?
What might have been a negative experience for you?
What things made you feel sad, annoyed, or frustrated?
What are you grateful for?
What do you wish we (as parents) might have done differently?
PLUS you'll catch some of their encouragements for YOU!

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 87: Mike & Annika Chat About Her Experience Growing Up in our Home
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Episode 84: How to Cope with Sadness, Anxiety & Longing when You're Missing Your Kids
Episode 14: 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideas & Disappointment
Episode 132: How Does Loss & Grief Impact Blended Family Integration?
Episode 75: How to Use Personality Insights to Improve Your Approach to Parenting

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The Key to Building Holiday Traditions

22 november 2022 | 6 min

149. How to "Blend" Holiday Traditions and Create Meaningful Connection this Season

15 november 2022 | 48 min

Simple Step: Protect Your Kids From a Parental Allegiance

8 november 2022 | 7 min

148. 5 Tips to Negotiate Holiday Plans and Avoid Scheduling Conflicts with the Ex

1 november 2022 | 37 min

Isn't there just something fun and exciting about the Holidays?

It seems to be a time of excitement and high hopes for family "togetherness". You probably want to plan fun, festive activities so that you're able to enjoy memorable moments with your kids.

But to make all that fun happen, you might need to negotiate a few logistics with your former spouse…

…which could lead to stress and conflict — YUCK!

We hear you and have been there more times than we've wanted to be.

Yet, over the years we've discovered 5 practical tips that can reduce the headaches and avoid the heartaches that often come when negotiations break down.

If you're anticipating changes to the visitation schedule this holiday season, don't procrastinate! We'll help you navigate the negotiations so they don't rob your joy.

Hop into this episode to discover how you can approach negotiations well and enjoy more peace this Holiday Season!

You'll Discover:

5 tips for negotiating schedule changes with your former spouse that can increase cooperation and ease tension
How to stay focused on what's best for the kids and set them up for a peaceful Holiday Season
Practical strategies for responding to your child's disappointment when they miss an activity
Simple thoughts for managing your own emotions when things don't go as planned

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
Episode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids
Episode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse
Episode 135. How to Set Appropriate Boundaries and Negotiate Well with Your Ex-Spouse
Episode 33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids
Episode 31. 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope with Your Ex
Episode 71. How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Episode 84. How to Cope with sadness, anxiety and longing while your kids are gone

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesessio

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Safeguarding Your Marriage [Part 2]

25 oktober 2022 | 5 min

147. Do sensitive conversations end up creating conflict in your relationship?

18 oktober 2022 | 39 min

Have you ever felt like you got stuck in a difficult conversation before it even got started?

You know that feeling — like this is going downhill fast and you just don't know how it got so heated and emotionally-charged so fast.

We've experienced this kind of interaction hundreds (maybe thousands) of times over the years! Those are the moments we feel disconnected and divided. And we're left wondering how we'll ever be able to talk about sensitive topics and work through problems.

But almost 12 years ago, Mike kinda stumbled across a communication strategy in a training where he worked. It was a simple little framework for getting a difficult conversation started without kicking off defensiveness and anger.

As we both started learning this framework together, it was amazing how much better our communication became. We were able to learn how to navigate the critical first 30 seconds of a difficult conversation well and after a bit of practice we were able to communicate on a whole new level.

We're sharing that simple little framework today on the podcast because we want you to experience that same transformation in your communication.

The truth is, communication is a skill and we can all get better at it.

You'll Discover:

The 'Hazardous Half Minute' of a conversation that can set you up for disaster OR success
A simple 3-step framework to positively influence communication around sensitive topics and help you work through touchy issues

Resources from this Episode:

Book: Crucial Conversations
Episode 35: Are You Controlling Conflict or is Conflict Controlling You?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Safeguarding Your Marriage [Part 1]

11 oktober 2022 | 4 min

146. Friendship and Connection or Friction and Distance - What's the state of your relationship?

4 oktober 2022 | 54 min

Do you remember that vibrant sense of friendship you had early on in your relationship? It was a strong connection and it created this pull toward each other that was almost irresistible.

But somewhere amid the crazy schedules, complex relationships, and differences of perspective, maybe you feel more like business partners or roommates these days. Or worse yet, battling foes rather than friends.

If you can relate to any of that (or if you want to avoid getting to that point) — this episode is for you!

The truth is, we all need to experience genuine friendship with our partner.

But when the common stress and busy-ness of blended family life hits, it's easy to deprioritize your friendship — or even neglect it altogether.

When that happens, the closeness you once enjoyed begins to wane and you slowly begin feeling disconnected from one another.

But that doesn't have to be you. It's time to get intentional about growing and maintaining your friendship and focus on rekindling genuine connection in your relationship.

In this episode, we'll share how a challenging season in our journey led to an 'easy wrong turn' that unintentionally slid our marriage to the back burner and we ended up losing friendship for a while — it was pretty sad.

We'll also share some specific steps we took to revive our friendship and save our marriage — even when we didn't like each other very much.

You'll Discover:

Why friendship is so important in marriage
The most common 'easy wrong turns' couples make that can dissolve their friendship and their connection
Practical steps you can take to grow and maintain your friendship — or rekindle it

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 79. 4 Conflict Communication Patterns that are Hurtful and Toxic to Your Relationship
Episode 98. Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Wholeheartedly
Episode 129. What Does It Take to Build and Maintain Trust in Your Relationship
Episode 123. How to Connect More and Rekindle Romance in Your Relationship - Even If Your Super Busy
Episode 78. Cultivating More Passion, Intimacy and Commitment in Your Marriage
Article from The Gottman Institute: F is for Friendship
Book from The Gottman Institute: Eight Dates

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Don't Get Stuck in Negativity

27 september 2022 | 7 min

145. Do you feel alone and isolated navigating the challenges of stepfamily life?

20 september 2022 | 27 min

Have you ever tried to describe your blended family's unique challenges to a friend — only to be met with a blank stare because they simply didn't understand?

Or maybe you felt judged by someone who just didn't get the reality of your family dynamics.

Or somewhere along the way you were given advice that just wasn't helpful.

Most of us living in blended family dynamics have been there — we often feel alone in our struggles.

We might even start to believe that there's something wrong with us because no one around seems to be able to relate to what we're experiencing.

But the truth is, you're not alone. You may just need to be intentional about finding your community.

We discovered early in our journey just how valuable a supportive community is. Particularly because blended family dynamics can be so confusing, chaotic and painful.

The empathy, encouragement, and wisdom of others that are traveling down the same bumpy road are invaluable. Navigating all the complexities that come with stepfamily life is much better when you can lean on others who you know really get it.

In this episode we'll share our personal experience in supportive communities as well as 4 benefits of community that have led to our family's success — and lots of other families too!

You'll Discover:

The value of community in cultivating hope and experiencing real progress in your blended family
Why trying to do blended family life 'in a bubble' leads to isolation, loneliness, pain, and disconnection
4 positive outcomes of being involved in the right kind of community

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

144. Empowering Parents and Kids Through the Science of Connection [with Jeffrey & Amy Olrick]

13 september 2022 | 66 min

Creating a healthy, secure relationship with each of your children and step-children is probably a high priority for you.

But the complex journey of parenting is challenging — and adding the realities of blending families can make it even more daunting!

Sometimes we just need expert advice.

That's what we have for you in this episode where we got to interview Jeffrey and Amy Olrick.

Jeffrey Olrick, Ph.D., is a clinical child psychologist who has worked with children and families for over twenty years. Amy Olrick is an author and techie whose work and writing has been featured in the Guardian and USA Today. Together, the Olricks are parents of three and the co-authors of the book, The 6 Needs of Every Child: Empowering Parents & Kids through the Science of Connection.

Jeffrey and Amy connected with us all the way from New Zealand where they currently reside with their three boys. You'll glean some powerful insights through this discussion about the 6 needs that each of your children have and ways to focus on meeting those needs in the midst of stepfamily life.

You'll Discover:

How to use The Compass of Needs to help you connect more with your child or step-child — even in difficult moments
Practical steps to overcome challenges when you might tend to over or under respond to any of the 6 needs
How an attachment bond grows and why these 6 needs are important for kids' developmental growth and long-term health
Why tension creates barriers to bonding and what you can do to minimize relational tensions

Resources from this Episode:

Grab a copy of the Olrick's book here: The 6 Needs of Every Child
Want to connect with Jeffrey & Amy? Click here: GrowingConnected.com
Check out The Growing Connected Podcast to learn more about The 6 Needs of Every Child and other helpful parenting topics

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

143. Why Kids Don't Need You to be Perfect - Just Present (Part 2)

6 september 2022 | 48 min

142. Why Kids Don't Need You To Be Perfect — Just Present (Part 1)

30 augusti 2022 | 53 min

We all want to raise kids that are secure, resilient and confident. We also want to experience genuine connection with our kids and step-kids. But stepfamily dynamics can be confusing, overwhelming and frustrating — especially when it comes to parenting. It might feel like all the complexity tends to rob you of that connection you're looking for.

If you've ever wondered how to handle tough situations with your kids or step-kids, we're here to help. And the good news is that you don't have to be a perfect parent or step-parent to make a big difference - even in tough situations…

…you simply have to be present in a few very specific ways.

In this episode, we're excited to share an amazing resource called 'The 6 Needs of Every Child' by Jeffery and Amy Olrick. We'll be exploring key insights around child development and the importance of secure attachment.

Drawing on psychological research, neuroscience as well as our own experiences, we'll share the most important relational needs for human growth that form the foundation of thriving parent-child connections.

You'll Discover:

How to develop security, resilience and confidence in your kids - and deepen your connection with them
The relevance of secure attachment and practical ways to meet the most important needs of your kids and step-kids

Resources from this Episode:

Book: The 6 Needs of Every Child by Jeffrey and Amy Olrick
Episode 112: 3 Dangerous Dynamics that can Destroy Co-Parenting - and Hurt the Kids
Episode 113: How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by your Former Spouse

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Step-Parents Curb the Conflict

23 augusti 2022 | 6 min

141. Can my kids be emotionally harmed by blended family dynamics?

16 augusti 2022 | 53 min

Every parent wants their kids to be safe, healthy, and supported as they grow up.

But as they head toward blending a family, many parents worry that stepfamily dynamics might actually cause harm — robbing their kids of a sense of stability and security.

The truth is there are some "easy wrong turns" that couples sometimes make that can increase the risks for emotional safety and relational stability for kids.

But the good news is that you can avoid the most common "easy wrong turns" with just a little understanding. That's what we're talking about in this episode…

…we'll reveal some of the most common dynamics that can create challenges for kids so that you can make a course correction for your family — or avoid the "easy wrong turns" altogether!

If you're worried that blending could be negatively impacting your kids, listen in to discover what you can do to make a difference!

You'll Discover:

3 of the most common "easy wrong turns" that can create emotional challenges for kids
Practical steps to avoid "easy wrong turns" and safeguard your kids as you blend
The impact of conflict on kids
Insights and strategies to keep you on track

Resources from this Episode:

Episodes on Understanding Kids' Perspectives
Episodes on Parenting and Discipline
Episode 132: How Does Loss and Grief Impact Blended Family Integration?
Episode 99: 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Book: Preparing to Blend by Ron Deal
Episode 102: 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 1)
Episode 49: Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage or Your Kids?
Episode 11: 3 Hidden Strengths for Imperfect Blended Families

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Adult Kids Struggling with a Parent's Remarriage

9 augusti 2022 | 6 min

140. Blending with Adult Children — One Couple's Story of Heartache and Triumph

2 augusti 2022 | 59 min

It's easy to assume that adult children will be happy to celebrate a parent's remarriage later in life. They're adults, right? They're focused on their own lives and families. Your later life marriage shouldn't really impact them.

But for most later life remarriages, that's simply not true. Most couples quickly run up against some unexpected challenges.

Our friends Steve and Jan Mathews were surprised by the painful issues they faced with Steve's adult kids shortly after he married Jan.

His adult kids reacted with unforeseen reluctance to accept Jan into their lives.

In this week's episode, we're talking to Steve and Jan about how they've navigated the unique difficulties of blending with adult kids.

Their story illustrates healthy ways to embrace realistic expectations, how to best approach bonding, and practical tips to find an appropriate balance that honors your marriage and your adult children — even when you're feeling stuck.

Join us for a candid conversation with Steve and Jan.

You'll Discover:

The unique challenges that come when remarrying with adult kids in the mix
Some "best practice principles" that apply to bonding and blending children of all ages
Realistic expectations and tips to find a healthy balance that honors your marriage AND your adult children
Strategies for the childless stepmom

Resources from this Episode:

Want to connect with Steve and Jan? You can email them at: -
- [email protected]
- [email protected]
Blog Article: I Object! Helping Adult Children Cope When Their Parent Remarries
Episode 72 - The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships (Crockpot Strategy)
Book Recommendations:
- The Smart Stepmom by Ron Deal & Laura Petherbridge
- The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal
- Preparing to Blend by Ron Deal

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Staying Connected

26 juli 2022 | 4 min

139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences

19 juli 2022 | 54 min

We're betting you want to experience teamwork, connection, and peace in your blended family journey.

But if you're anything like us, the complex emotions and unexpected relational tension might be taking you by surprise. You're not alone. We struggled with the pain that comes with all that for years.

All too often, Kim felt like the rope in a tug-of-war between her daughter and Mike. She wanted everyone to feel loved and to be happy, but felt like she had to choose between Annika and Mike. She felt trapped.

On the other hand, Mike often felt like an outsider in his own home. He wanted to be acknowledged, included and heard, but he felt stranded — like he just didn't "fit" into Kim and Annika's close relationship.

In our pain, we tended to react in ways that didn't help. Then we would feel stuck.

Stuck in our pain

Stuck in confusion

Stuck in conflict

And the good news is that we discovered ways to get unstuck, and now we help blended family couples move beyond the tensions of feeling trapped and stranded too.

Hop into this episode to start learning how…

You'll Discover:

One of the most common dynamics for blended couples - that often creates disconnection, confusion and pain
Two natural reactions that can makes things worse
Two tips to help you stay connected and reduce tension even when you're feeling Trapped or Stranded

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 22 - 1 Simple - and Romantic - Way to Combat Being Stranded or Trapped
Episode 23 - How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
Episode 24 - What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
Episode 39 - How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Episode 49 - Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?
Episode 59 - Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance (Part 1)
Episode 61 - How to Partner Well as a Stepparent…Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 1)
We mentioned Patricia Papernow's book: Surviving And Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: The Art of Letting Go

12 juli 2022 | 7 min

138. How Relational Dysfunction Plagued Our Marriage and How We Finally Broke Free

5 juli 2022 | 49 min

Simple Step: Connecting with Your Step-Child

28 juni 2022 | 5 min

137. Practical Tools to Boost Family Engagement and Grow Meaningful Connection [with Jennifer Zumbiel]

21 juni 2022 | 72 min

Engaging the whole family in meaningful conversation is challenging for anyone.

And for blended families, positive engagement often feels impossible — especially when there's tension or one child makes it clear that they don't want to engage.

But don't lose hope!

Even with tension, stress, and yes — busy schedules or lots of distractions — today's guest, Jennifer Zumbiel can help you experience more connection in your blended family.

Jennifer is the host of the "Families That Stick Togather™" podcast and creator of the Togather™ conversation sticker games and tools. As a mother of four and a wife of 18 years, she understands how everyday distractions can impact face-to-face communication and threaten the strength of our relationships.

In this episode, Jennifer is sharing about the ways she has found to help us all "to gather" with easy, meaningful, and fun communication in real-life using the small moments we already have.

As you listen in, you'll pick up some simple, practical tools that will help you overcome distractions and reduce tension so that your family can connect in new ways. And we even chat about some parenting tips to encourage and grow strong bonds in your blended family.

You'll Discover:

Fun and practical tools and tips to help your family engage in meaningful conversation — especially around the dinner table
How to connect with kids that are withdrawing or isolating from the family
Why meaningful, positive connection is important to your family's bonding process

Resources from this Episode:

Connect with Jennifer at https://www.togathermoments.com/

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: When a Stepparent is Left Alone with Step-kids

14 juni 2022 | 9 min

136. How to Intentionally Create Positive Family Time and Reduce Relational Tension

7 juni 2022 | 65 min

You might have headed into stepfamily life hoping that close bonds would develop and everyone would enjoy spending time together.

But, if you're like most of us, that may not have happened as easily or as quickly as you hoped.

Instead, most blending couples are blindsided by the amount of chaos, tension and resistance that pops up around every corner. You've probably felt frustrated, confused or even hopeless somewhere along the way.

Maybe you've even been at a loss about how to approach bonding when relational tensions are high and the kids are either acting out, or shutting down.

Here's the good news — you're normal! Most blended families face these challenges — and the really good news is that with the right mindset and strategy you can encourage and enjoy family time, while patiently waiting for bonds to grow.

In this episode, we'll share a strategy for family time that will help as you head into summer and throughout the year! When you're intentional about how you plan and manage time as a family, you'll be amazed at the difference it can make.

You'll Discover:

The best approach to bonding and building family connections
How a strategic approach can lead to positive experiences and family time success — especially when tensions are high
Some of our blended family's favorite activities

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 94 - 70 Summer Activities to Create Family Time and Encourage Bonding
Episode 103 - 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 1)
Episode 72 - The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 71 - How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Episode 92 - At a Loss and Feel Defeated Because the Kids Stubbornly Refuse to Blend?
Episode 39 - How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Book by Gary Chapman and Ron Deal: Building Love Together in Blended Families

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Supporting Your Spouse When the Ex is Challenging

31 maj 2022 | 6 min

135. How to Set Appropriate Boundaries and Negotiate Well with Your Ex-Spouse

24 maj 2022 | 47 min

Cooperative co-parenting with an Ex is the goal when you've got kids moving between two homes. You likely want your kids to experience peaceful transitions — you want to avoid tension and conflict as you negotiate with your Ex-Spouse.

But sometimes this seems like an impossible goal.

That's because setting healthy, appropriate boundaries in co-parenting without triggering conflict feels just out of reach.

In this episode, Kim is sharing how she took an 'easy wrong turn' when she felt provoked and pressured by her Ex-Spouse. Plus, we'll talk about how the consequences of her snap decision devastated her and rocked our family.

You'll discover some lessons we've learned over the years and how you can improve your negotiations with your former spouse — even when things get heated and emotionally charged.

The 3 practical strategies we land on will help you develop appropriate boundaries with an Ex and give you a simple framework for setting and maintaining those boundaries.

You'll Discover:

How to make wise decisions rather than snap decisions
A simple framework for setting and holding healthy boundaries with a resistant Ex-spouse
The importance of protecting kids from being in the middle of parental decisions
How to manage painful emotions when negotiating with an Ex

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 134: How to Make Good Decisions in Tough Situations - and Stay Connected as a Couple
Episode 91: Is Your Husband's Hostile Ex-Wife Invading Your Life, Stealing Your Joy and Confidence?
Episode 31: 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope with Your Ex
Episode 67: The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
Episode 112: 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids
Episode 41: Are you Unintentionally Putting Your Kids in the Middle?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. T

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Partnership and Decision-Making

17 maj 2022 | 6 min

134. How to Make Good Decisions in Tough Situations and Stay Connected as a Couple

10 maj 2022 | 57 min

Isn't it a great feeling when you're united as a couple around important decisions? It really doesn't matter if the decision is big or small — we feel connected when we're on the same page.

But, if you're anything like us, you've probably run into those moments when decision-making seems to create disconnection.

And let's be honest. Disconnection stinks.

Over the past 21 years of our marriage, making decisions together has proven to be a lot tougher than we thought it might be. Even the small things can become big things in the midst of our blended family dynamics.

Countless times, we've felt stuck…

…but we've also discovered some simple ways to get UN-stuck.

In this episode, we're exploring the good, the bad, and the ugly about decision-making in a blended family. We'll share some do's and don'ts along with some stories about our own journey and some of the couples we've supported.

Every blended couple needs a strategy for decision-making that creates connection so they can avoid confusion, pain and division.

So, go ahead and hop into the conversation and we'll meet you there!

You'll Discover:

The underlying tension that creates discomfort and disconnection when decisions need to be made
Practical tips for making united decisions - and minimizing the Trapped Teammate and Stranded Stranger dynamic

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience
Episode 22: One Simple - and Romantic - Way to Combat Being Stranded or Trapped
Episode 23: How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
Episode 24: What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
Episode 95: Do You Dread Negotiating Schedule Changes with your Ex - Try These 5 Practical Tips
Episode 13: How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Family
Episode 83: 4 Everyday Favoritism Traps that Dishearten Kids in a Blended Family

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

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Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review”. Thank you, we really apprec

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Husbands - Let's Prepare for Mother's Day

3 maj 2022 | 7 min

133. 3 Tips to Help You Experience Joy on Special Occasions — Including Mother's Day

26 april 2022 | 47 min

Special family occasions should be filled with joy, laughter, and gratefulness — especially Mother's Day.

But in your blended family dynamics, that might not be what you actually experience. The relational tension and disconnection that can sometimes be present doesn't just melt away because it happens to be a day designated to honor Mom or celebrate other occasions as a family.

Yet, moms and step-moms in blended families still have the opportunity to hold onto their joy. It is possible to accept the positives that do exist and experience genuine contentment in your blended dynamics.

In this episode, Kim is going to share some recent disappointment she faced as a mom and how she experienced joy anyway — without just "stuffing" her feelings.

Kim's story will give you the encouragement and strategies you'll need to face any disappointments that might emerge on your upcoming Mother's Day — or any special occasion.

You'll Discover:

How to manage disappointment and mixed emotions when things don't go as expected
Practical ways to experience joy and contentment in the midst of an imperfection family occasion such as Mother's Day

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 34: How to Avoid Mother's Day Disappointment
Blog Article: How to Avoid Mother's Day Disappointments for Stepmoms
Episode 36: How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection
Episode 37: Why Do Kids Struggle to Accept their Stepparent?
Episode 39: How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step Kids
Episode 14: 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Helping Kids Process Grief

19 april 2022 | 7 min

132. How do loss and grief impact blended family integration?

12 april 2022 | 57 min

Simple Step: Avoiding Milestone Mishaps

5 april 2022 | 10 min

131. Why is trust important in your co-parenting relationship?

29 mars 2022 | 52 min

Building trust can be difficult in any relationship…

…and when it comes to your former spouse, it might feel impossible.

Building trust in your parenting coalition seems out of reach when you keep your focus on the way your Ex behaves. But there's more to it than that.

We've had multiple seasons of over-focusing on the untrustworthy actions of Kim's former spouse. But over time, we discovered that we had more control over building trust in our parenting coalition than we thought.

In this episode, we're examining how the 3 major elements of trust — predictability, openness, and justice — can be your focal point of creating more trust with a difficult Ex.

Ultimately, you have the power to create more trust. In turn, that will create a more stable and secure experience for your kids. Putting the effort in is not only about a healthy relationship with your Ex — it's about a healthy environment for your kids.

So, let's get the conversation started and explore why it's so important to build trust in your co-parenting relationship…

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 129: What Does It Take to Build and Maintain Trust in Your Relationship?
Episode 130: How to Build Trust that Nurtures Bonds with your Kids and Step-Kids
Episode 112: 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids
Episode 64: How to Set Yourself Free by Choosing to Forgive
Episode 99: 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Episode 42: Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You
Episode 33: How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids
Episode 41: Are You Unintentionally Putting Your Kids in the Middle?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your f

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Building Trust with Step-Kids

22 mars 2022 | 4 min

130. How to Build Trust that Nurtures Bonds with Your Kids and Stepkids

15 mars 2022 | 57 min

Bonding in a blended family can be challenging. Maybe you're already pretty close with your bio-kids, but trying to connect with step-kids just isn't working. Or maybe you've noticed your bio-kids pulling away just a little lately and you're not sure why.

We've been through all kinds of ups and downs in our journey of blending and raising kids and discovered there's one foundational thing that leads to bonded relationships with each one of them…

…Trust.

In this episode, we're continuing our conversation about trust, but through the lens of parenting. We'll look at all 3 essential elements of trust and how they apply to parenting.

You'll Discover:

Why trust and mutual respect is so important with our kids and step-kids
Practical ways to build trusting relationships in your home that'll foster close bonds
How to safeguard your future relationship with the kids as they move toward adulthood

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 129: What Does It Take to Build and Maintain Trust in Your Relationship?
Episode 76: How To Restore Your Relationship With a Child After You've Messed Up
Episode 124: How to Effectively Parent Through Each Stage of Development - And Reduce Painful Interactions (Part 1)
Episode 4: Can You Overcome Your Parenting Style-Differences

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Planting Seeds of Trust

8 mars 2022 | 4 min

129. What does it take to build and maintain trust in your relationship?

1 mars 2022 | 52 min

In June of 1967, just after the release of their album, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Beatles began preparing for one of the world's first live global broadcast using a newly constructed technology — the satellite. What song did they release that day?

"All You Need Is Love" It was a historic event.

It's been 55 years since that song was released, but for millennia people have focused on LOVE when it comes to relationships. The message is reinforced in movies, music, stage productions, TV series, and social media — all you need is love.

Well, sadly, the Beatles actually got it wrong. Love is a wonderful thing and absolutely necessary in our relationships. However, we need more than love to have a healthy, thriving marriage.

We also need TRUST.

Trust is what dictates how safe we feel within our relationship. As it turns out, there are 3 elements that create a sense of trust in our relationships. And the great news is that all 3 elements are things you can grow.

Join us in this episode to consider the 3 critical elements that build trust and explore practical ways to deepen your connection by maintaining safety and trust in your relationship.

You'll Discover:

How lack of trust and safety eventually erodes love in relationships
The 3 critical elements that every couple needs to build and maintain trust
Why little things often create trust issues - it's not just big violations

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 127: Is Sex THAT Important for a Healthy Marriage?
Episode 98: Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Whole Heartedly?
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 108: 3 Unity Breakers That Are Detrimental to Your Connection - And How to Avoid Them
Episode 5: How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers From Your Past
Episode 64: How to Set Yourself Free by Choosing to Forgive

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review”. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Passionate Trust

25 februari 2022 | 3 min

128. Practical Ways to Overcome Challenges and Enjoy More Sexual Passion

22 februari 2022 | 50 min

How can you get really practical about your sex life in marriage?

Many of us can slip into the thought that if we were really in love — or if we were really compatible, then our sexual rhythm and connection should be really easy.

When our experience doesn't match that expectation, then we're disappointed. We might feel like something is wrong with our relationship.

And too much of the time, we're seeking that romantic spontaneity that seemed to exist in the beginning of our marriage rather than having the courage to simply get practical.

The word "practical" may not seem sexy or exciting, but the reality is we all need a little practicality in our sex life if we want to experience mutual sexual fulfillment over the long term.

In this episode, we're sharing practical tips for increasing sexual passion and experiencing the connection with each other that you're really looking for.

You'll Discover:

Valuable insights and practical tips to help you move beyond your challenges - and create deeper connection and more passion

Resources from this Episode:

Book: The Smart Stepdad by Ron Deal
Book: The Love List by Les & Leslie Parrott

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Everyday Intimacy

18 februari 2022 | 3 min

127. Increase Sexual Passion and Connection by Identifying the Challenges You're Facing

15 februari 2022 | 58 min

The sexual connection we really want for our marriage can often get hijacked by our histories, hurts, and misunderstandings.

For blended family couples, trying to navigate these challenges is often complex and disheartening — even if some of our hang-ups seem typical for any marriage.

Our sexual connection has endured a variety of barriers over the past couple of decades. There have been seasons where we've been in sync and genuinely connected. In other seasons, we've been distant and the passion seemed like it was drying up.

As we look back over the years, we've identified that there were significant challenges we faced . And even in the most disheartening seasons — it wasn't the end of our love affair. Our passion has been revived many times.

In this episode, we're sharing some of our personal hang-ups and some obstacles we've had to overcome.

You'll Discover:

Common challenges that create disconnection and decreased passion
Specific obstacles that blended family couples face around sex
Why it's important to identify and work through your challenges - and how you can get started today to increase connection and passion in your marriage

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 98: Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Whole Heartedly?
Books by Shanti and Jeff Feldhaun : For Men Only and For Women Only
Book by Ron Deal and Olson: The Smart Stepfamily Marriage

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Dating Adventure

11 februari 2022 | 2 min

126. Is Sex THAT Important for a Healthy Marriage?

8 februari 2022 | 42 min

What does a healthy, vibrant sex life look like in your marriage?

You and your spouse probably both want to be fulfilled when it comes to your physical connection. But for most couples, there are a whole variety of obstacles that chip away at their passion.

For blended family couples, the passion can sometimes wane rapidly when they run into unique obstacles. From simple things like having the step-kids in the room just on the other side of the wall. To deeper challenges like the influence of past relationships or hurts from previous sexual mistreatment.

The truth is that a "good" sex life will not hold your marriage together. However, an unhealthy attitude, a lack of sex, or tension in a couple's sex life can create a burden on the overall relationship that is often difficult to navigate.

We've had significant struggles when it comes to our sex life. Unrealistic expectations, negative triggers from the past, and differences in our attitudes have all created barriers for us over the past two decades.

As we've navigated the ups and downs, we've discovered meaningful and practical ways to connect both inside and outside the bedroom. We've been able to experience healing and learned ways to honor each other when it comes to the passion in our marriage.

Over the next 3 episodes, we'll be vulnerably sharing some of our story and a few of the practical discoveries we've made along the way. In this episode, we'll focus on the importance of sex in marriage and give you 2 things to focus on in order to create a healthy sex life.

Resources from this Episode:

Book: The Smart Stepfamily Marriage by Ron Deal & David Olson
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want

Ready for some extra support

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Parenting Emotions

4 februari 2022 | 3 min

125. How to Effectively Parent through Each Stage of Development — and Reduce Painful Interactions [Part 2]

1 februari 2022 | 37 min

Simple Step: Understanding Counter-Will

28 januari 2022 | 4 min

124. How to Effectively Parent through Each Stage of Development — and Reduce Painful Interactions [Part 1]

25 januari 2022 | 51 min

What might each of your children be like when they reach adulthood? What will your relationship with them be like when they're 30?

These kinds of questions might create excitement or maybe anxiety for you. Either way, if we're mindful, these two simple questions can help guide your approach to parenting — today.

Each busy day that goes by moves your kids toward the next stage in their development toward adulthood. And the truth is your parenting approach needs to develop along with them.

Remaining stuck in a single approach to parenting from your child's first birthday to their eighteenth will likely rob you of what you really want for their future.

Over the years, we've struggled to adjust our parenting approach — and frankly we were a bit late to the game with Kim's daughter, Annika. It was in her late teen years that we learned a simple framework for how we could develop our parenting. But even our late start made all the difference.

In the next two episodes, we'll show you a simple way to think about your personal development as a parent and the best approach to guiding your adolescent and teen children.

Make sure you catch both episodes and discover how you can move your adolescent and teen kids toward the future you hope for — starting today!

You'll Discover:

An effective strategy to parenting adolescent and teens that builds connection - and reduces difficult interactions.

Resources from this Episode:

Journey of Transition Online Workshop: https://www.parentingteensintransition.com/parenting-4cs
Book: Parenting Teens with Love and Logic
Episode 28: Counter-Will - What if What You Think is Defiance is Actually Something Else?
Episode 106: How to Avoid "Outlaw Words"
Episode 30: Should stepparents WANT authority with their step-kids?
Episode 73: 4 Simple Principles for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Kids
Episode 63: 5 Strategies to Help You Get United — Even When You Disagree
Episode 74: How to Develop Appropriate and Effective Consequences that Empower Responsibility
Episode 17: 6 Simple Steps that will Help You Respond to Disrespect

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Parenting Focus — "For not From"

21 januari 2022 | 4 min

123. How to Connect More and Rekindle Romance in Your Relationship — Even If You're Super Busy

18 januari 2022 | 60 min

Simple Step: Being Present

14 januari 2022 | 2 min

122. One Simple Strategy to Conquer "Family Business", Contain Chaos and Stay United

11 januari 2022 | 47 min

Blended family life seems to always come with busy-ness and curve balls.

You've got multiple kids moving between multiple homes who all have school, sports, music, social events — shall we even go on?

And it sometimes seems like no matter how many electronic calendars you manage or reminders you magnetize to the fridge — something gets missed and that creates more chaos.

Sound familiar?

Those are the same challenges our special guests, Todd & Shannon faced in their blending journey too. But they discovered a simple, fun, and effective way to stay ahead of the curve. And build unity in their marriage along the way!

Don't let the busy-ness of blended family life create a wedge in your marriage. Instead, try out Todd & Shannon's strategy so you can ease the stress and enjoy more romance!

You'll Discover:

An effective strategy for handling the "business" of family life while creating more unity and stability in your home
How to reduce everyday stress and increase your romantic connection

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Celebrate your Progress

7 januari 2022 | 2 min

121. Start the New Year with New Resolve to Create Something New in Your Blended Family

4 januari 2022 | 45 min

What do you want for your blended family this year?

More connection?

Less tension?

Genuine fun and laughter?

Whatever it is, there's one thing for sure — it's not going to happen by accident.

We've been blending for more than 20 years. In that time, we've seen that the best and biggest wins happened when we were intentional. We had to decide what we wanted to change and then do something about it.

That might sound too simple. Maybe what you really want feels impossible. You might be in a painful season and your hopes feel out of reach. Or maybe you're in a great place right now and aren't sure what you want next.

Wherever you are in the blending process, there's always opportunity to deepen your bonds, safeguard your marriage, or get on the same page around parenting, and more!

In this episode, we'll show you how to do that with intentionality and a simple plan. You'll identify exactly what you want for your family this year and put together a realistic plan to get there.

You'll Discover:

A step-by-step process to engage in new growth opportunities and positive change for your marriage and blended family

Resources from this Episode:

CLICK HERE to download your free 2022 Blended Family Progress Planner
Episode 120: 3 Valuable Lessons That Saved our Marriage and Blended Family
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 35: Are You Controlling Conflict or is it Controlling You?
Book Recommendation: Atomic Habits by James Clear
Episode 107: 3 Disheartening Realities That No Couple Want to Go Through - But We All Have To
Episode 65: 6 Simples Steps for Inviting Your Spouse to Get Help With You
Episode 66: Discover the Best Way to Motivate Your Spouse

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

We encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Choose Something New

31 december 2021 | 3 min

120. 3 Valuable Lessons That Saved Our Marriage and Blended Family

28 december 2021 | 48 min

What lessons have you learned this year…

…or maybe through your whole blending experience?

You know that old saying "hindsight is 20/20". Most of us have experienced the painful reality of that statement more than once in our lifetime.

But something we've discovered is that we don't always have to wait around for hindsight. If we're wise, we'll listen to others share about their life lessons. We'll watch what they do and try to avoid the same pitfalls.

In this episode, we're sharing 3 valuable insights that emerged out of our hindsight. They are hard-earned lessons that we hope you'll be able to learn a little sooner in your blending journey.

These insights have been critical to saving our marriage (which we almost lost a decade ago), and helped us experience more connection — as a couple and for our whole family.

You might avoid the pitfalls we've fallen into if you take these 3 insights to heart.

You'll Discover:

3 valuable insights we've discovered throughout 20 years of blending
Mindset shifts to help you avoid common pitfalls and experience more connection
Practical tips to get unstuck and keep moving forward — even through your frustration, hurt feelings and negative thoughts

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 36: How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection
Article by Nick Wignall: Self-Care: What It Really Is and How to Do It Well
Book: Leading From Your Gut by Dr. John Townsend
Episode 105: What Powerful Traits Do You Need to Successfully Blend and Stay United?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Keep it Simple

24 december 2021 | 2 min

119. 6 Tips to Grow Empathy and Create More Connection in Your Marriage

21 december 2021 | 40 min

There are two things most of us want in our marriage: to be heard and to be understood.

Even when we're struggling with disagreement or in a season of tension, if we know we're being heard and understood, we can move beyond just about anything.

In a word, we all need empathy from our partner.

But you can't force your spouse to have empathy for you. You only have the capacity to have empathy for them (which can positively impact just about everything). And there are most likely a few barriers that will stand in your way.

In this episode, we're revealing 3 barriers that rob you of being more empathetic and 6 powerful tips to growing your empathy.

Once you learn how to practice more empathy for your partner, you'll discover a new level of intimacy and unity that you may have never experienced before.

You'll Discover:

The benefits of true empathy — especially for blended family couples
3 common barriers to responding with empathy in marriage
6 practical and powerful tips to growing your empathy
How to avoid leaving your spouse feeling unheard, misunderstood or alone

Resources from this Episode:

The Power of Empathy video from Brene Brown
Episode 98: Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Wholeheartedly?
Episode 36: How To Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection
Episode 5: How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers from Your Past
Episode 108: 3 Unity Breakers that are Detrimental to Your Connection - and How You Can Avoid Them
Schedule your FREE coaching call today. Just CLICK HERE

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Be the Best Partner

17 december 2021 | 3 min

118. Meaningful Insight and Practical Strategies to Help Your Blended Family Navigate Holiday Challenges

14 december 2021 | 62 min

You want a happy, peaceful, fun holiday this year, right?

But maybe the misunderstandings, complex calendar, or someone's attitude threatens to get in the way.

Blending holiday traditions is just one of many challenges we experience in stepfamily life.

In this episode, we're talking with Joneen Mackenzie and Lauren Reitsema about their personal story with blending holiday traditions. They're a mother-daughter duo who teach the essential skills of building healthy relationships.

Lauren is the author of In Their Shoes — a book where she shares her experiences of living through her parent's divorce and later their remarriages. Lauren and Joneen share meaningful insight and practical strategies to creating more connection through the holidays - and MUCH more!

You'll Discover:

Firsthand experiences of divorce, remarriage and the challenges of blending from mother and daughter
Valuable insights into the emotional struggle that kids experience around holiday traditions
How to navigate transitions in a way that honors your kids — and eases tension
Why empathy is critical to a healthy blend — especially around the holidays
Practical advice to minimize stress and increase the magic around your holiday celebration

Resources from this Episode:

Lauren Reitsema's book: In Their Shoes - Helping Parents Better Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce
Lauren and Joneen's latest book: Relationship Essentials - Skills to Feel Heard, Fight Fair and Set Boundaries in All Areas of Life
Episode 40: Uncover the unspoken feelings of kids in blended families [Special Resource: In Their Shoes]

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Concern—Not Criticism

10 december 2021 | 3 min

117. Harness the Power of Positive Affirmation with Your Kids and Step-Kids

7 december 2021 | 47 min

Do you ever wonder about your future relationship with your kids and step-kids?

The truth is, you're laying the foundation for that future relationship now. Each interaction with your kids either builds ups, or erodes, the future you really want.

One of the things that threatens that future relationship can be summed up in one word: Parenting.

Over the years, we've discovered that our parenting can tend to get over-focused on correction and direction. While both of those are important, it's critical that they are counter-balanced with interactions that build our kids sense of security, value, acceptance and self-worth.

You might be surprised to discover there are 5 practical areas where you can positively affirm your kids - and this can build motivation toward improving habits, behaviors and attitudes.

In this episode we'll share all 5 areas and some of the challenges we've had over the years offering positive affirmations for our kids - especially when they failed to meet our expectations.

You'll Discover:

The power of positive affirmation in parenting
How positive affirmation can ease tension and build relational connection while blending
5 practical ways to appropriately affirm kids
Why positive affirmation is critical - especially when a child's behavior is less than positive

Resources from this Episode:

Article from Psychology Today: Are We Overpraising Our Children?

Episodes to Help Build Parenting Skills:

Episode 4: Can You Overcome Your Parenting-Style Differences?
Episode 13: How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Family
Episode 63: 5 Strategies to Help You Get United - Even When You Disagree
Episode 73: 4 Simple Principles for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Kids
Episode 74: How to Develop Appropriate and Effective Consequences that Empower Responsibility

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review”. Thank you, w

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Planning Ahead

3 december 2021 | 3 min

116. 10 Practical Strategies to Prep for the Holidays — And Avoid Blended Family Disappointments

30 november 2021 | 39 min

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Or is it?

The holiday season is upon us and we all hope for something wonderful in our blended family this year. But for many of us, the holidays might bring up dread instead.

Why? Simply because — well, it just isn't simple for stepfamilies!

The holiday season for many of us seems to create challenges. Negotiating with the Ex, with the kids, and with each other can be stressful. Relational tensions can escalate, dashing our hopeful expectations.

Then disappointment sets in. It can be frustrating, to say the least.

Kids in blended families often struggle too. All kinds of frustrations and emotions get triggered for them. Maybe you've noticed one or more of your kids distancing themselves or acting out in unexpected ways.

There are no easy solutions — this stuff is tough! But you can approach the holidays proactively.

In this episode, we're sharing 10 practical tips that will help you navigate the blended family holiday season with intentionality. You'll set your family up to experience something new (and maybe even wonderful) this year!

You'll Discover:

Tip 1: Examine and readjust your expectations
Tip 2: Plan ahead with Your former spouse around schedules
Tip 3: Inform the kids of the plans they can expect
Tip 4: Create stability & connection for all the kids
Tip 5: Utilize the 5 Love Languages to fill emotional tanks
Tip 6: Discover what traditions are really important to the kids
Tip 7: Involve the kids in the preparation process
Tip 8: Keep your focus on gratitude
PLUS 2 Bonus Tips that'll help you to keep your expectations realistic, minimize disappointments, calm the chaos, and experience more joy!

Resources from this Episode:

Article by Ron Deal: How to Cook a Stepfamily
Article by Ron Deal: Family Meetings: A Tool for Problem Solving
Episode 95 - Do You Dread Negotiating Schedule Changes with your Ex?
Episode 14: 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments
Episode 69: How to "Blend" Your Holiday Traditions in a Practical Way
Episode 36: How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Blog article: How to Minimize Disappointment In Your Blended Family
Resources for 5 Love Languages:
- Episode 85 - How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family
- Book: Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman & Ron L. Deal

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Intentional Bio Time

26 november 2021 | 2 min

115. Will you choose to be Grateful or Grumpy this Holiday Season?

23 november 2021 | 44 min

Simple Step: Positive Impacts on Your Kid's Future

19 november 2021 | 2 min

114. Beware of Common Comparison Traps that Create Disconnection and Negativity

16 november 2021 | 49 min

You probably want to experience satisfaction, joy, fulfillment, and great relationships in your blended family.

But if you're anything like us there are some days where a sneaky little thought pattern creeps in. It's subtle at first.

A bit of envy because your friend seems so close to their spouse — you'd like that kind of closeness in your marriage. Or a twinge of jealousy because the kids seem to talk about having so much fun at the other home with your former spouse.

Maybe we're the only ones, but that subversive thought pattern is all about comparisons — and it's a trap that will hijack your fulfillment and rob your joy.

We've both struggled with comparison traps in different ways over the years. We've also discovered some very specific ways to escape the trap and discover the freedom to create a sense of satisfaction, joy, and fulfillment. All of that has led to close, bonded relationships in our family — not always perfect — but really, really good.

In this episode, we're sharing the 4 simple tips that have helped us escape comparison traps and preserve our fulfillment.

You'll Discover:

The negative impact of comparisons
3 areas where we tend to get stuck in comparison traps
4 Powerful tips to help you break free from comparison
How to experience more connection, joy and fulfillment in your blended family journey

Resources from this Episode:

We mentioned the book: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Episode 105: What Powerful Traits Do You Need to Successfully Blend and Stay United?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Conversations About Parenting

12 november 2021 | 2 min

113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse

9 november 2021 | 52 min

Imagine a time that co-parenting with your Ex is reasonable, collaborative, and maybe even pleasant.

Is that hard for you to imagine?

Often it feels like all the pain from the past and differing perspectives hijacks your ability to cooperate effectively. And ultimately, when co-parenting breaks down it's the kids who pay the price. The tension between their homes robs kids of just being themselves and feeling secure in both homes.

I wish we could give you the "magic formula" to perfect your co-parenting negotiations — but you and I both know that doesn’t really exist.

However, there are plenty of things you can do to create more peace and cooperation with your former spouse — regardless of how they choose to react. And the more you focus on doing your part, the better things will be for your kids.

In this episode, we're sharing 5 steps you can take when the collaboration and communication in your co-parenting coalition seem to be breaking down.

You'll Discover:

The best way to respond when negative emotions get triggered by a former spouse
5 practical steps to build cooperation in your co-parenting relationship - even when you disagree
How to maintain self-control and stay focused on the wellbeing of your kids

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 112: 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids
Book: Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak
Episode 42: Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips For You
Episode 33: How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids (FREE Cheat Sheet Included)
Episode 7: Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps that Help
Episode 8: Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
Episode 67 - The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
Click Here to Schedule a Free Coaching Call

Ready for some extra support?

We're here to help. Connect with us for a free coaching call to see how you might experience more clarity, confidence and connection. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

We want to encourage you to subscribe so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts
Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast . Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Review

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Simple Step: Self-Care

5 november 2021 | 2 min

112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids

2 november 2021 | 45 min

You probably want your kids to feel secure, relax, and just be kids.

But when kids are caught in the middle of tension between you and your former spouse, all that stress steals away their security and their peace.

We know how hard it is to work with an Ex that doesn't seem to want to co-parent well — even for the sake of the kids. It can be maddening!

One thing that helps is to recognize and name the dynamic that's happening between you and your former spouse. That's what this episode is all about.

We're sharing the 3 most common dynamics that tend to spiral co-parents into anger with each other and ignite that unwanted tension and stress.

Once you name it…you can do something about it.

You'll Discover:

How to identify the "temperature" of your co-parenting partnership
3 common emotionally-charged situations that result in dysfunctional co-parenting — and end up hurting the kids
The dangerous impacts of reacting negatively to a former spouse

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 6: Are Your Kids Stuck in a 'Parental Allegiance' and What Can You Do About It?
Episode 41: Are You Unintentionally Putting Your Kids in the Middle?
Book: The Good Divorce by Dr. Constance Ahrons

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

111. It's Time For a Strategic Pause…

28 september 2021 | 11 min

110. What Might You Learn About Your Kids Through Mike's Unique Childhood Stepfamily?

21 september 2021 | 40 min

We all want to love our kids well. We want to be a safe place for them to process. We want them to be open and authentic with us.

The problem is, their losses and emotions can be hard for us to understand. Sometimes we do our best to help them move through those old hurts and hang-ups without realizing our efforts are keeping them stuck.

That was something I (Mike) experienced growing up. My dad and step-mom simply wanted to move forward, but some of their choices kept us kids stuck. I'm sharing more about that in this episode.

I grew up in challenging blended family dynamics — and I'm hoping my story will give you valuable insight into some practical ways you can love your kids well, even when it feels painful or awkward.

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 108 : 3 Unity Breakers that are Detrimental to Your Connections and How You Can Avoid Them
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
We mentioned the skill of Emotion Coaching. To learn more check out the Book: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Disappointment
We mentioned The Smart Family Resources by Ron Deal

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

109. Preparing to Blend: The Couples Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily [with Ron Deal]

14 september 2021 | 62 min

Whether you're considering marriage or you've been "blending" for a few years, this episode is for you!

Ron Deal is adding a new book to the Smart Stepfamily library called "Preparing to Blend: The Couples Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily".

The book releases on the same day we're dropping this episode and we're so excited for you to hear directly from Ron all about it!

This fun discussion with Ron will bring insight for you regardless of where you are on the blending journey. And you might discover ways you can encourage and support other couples you know — your friends, co-workers, or family — who are also experiencing stepfamily life.

So, hop in and find out what next steps you might want to take in your "blending" journey.

You'll Discover:

Why it's so important to prepare for "blending"
2 expectations about blending that can get you off track
What you might do to prepare for your wedding
2 crucial action items that Ron advises every couple to do

Resources from this Episode:

Here's a link to Ron's Book: Preparing to Blend
Ron mentioned his book: Dating and the Single Parent
Ron mentioned some extra resources that you can find here: FamilyLife.com

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

108. 3 Unity Breakers that are Detrimental to Your Connection and How You Can Avoid Them

7 september 2021 | 56 min

If you're anything like us, you probably want to experience unity and intimacy in your marriage — and in your family.

The funny thing is, you probably felt united early on. But somewhere along the way maybe that feeling of unity seemed to break down.

Maybe you were working hard to get on the same page. You've tried to keep the peace in your home. You’ve even encouraged everyone in your blended family to just love each other.

We've put a ton of energy and time into those things too, but often felt duped in the end. It sometimes felt like nothing we tried was working.

We've been shocked along our 20+ year journey to discover just how tricky some of the dynamics in blended family life can be. There are so many things that we thought were right one day, but later realized that some of our hard work was actually creating distance — not unity.

In this episode, we're uncovering 3 surprising and unexpected unity breakers. They are tricky because on the surface, they seem like they should be unity builders — but they miss the mark!

You'll Discover:

How sameness does not equal unity
Why a focus on peace-keeping actually breaks your unity
The difference between 'side-stepping' and embracing the STEP in stepfamily

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 107: 3 Disheartening Realities That No Couple Wants to Go Through - But We All Have To
Episode 75: How to Use Personality Insights to Improve Your Approach to Parenting
We mentioned the 'Stranded Stranger' - to learn more check out episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger &Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 50 - How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 105 - What Powerful Traits Do You Need to Successfully Blend and Stay United?
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Click here to schedule a Free Coaching Call

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

107. 3 Disheartening Realities That No Couple Wants To Go Through — But We All Have To

31 augusti 2021 | 55 min

Wouldn’t it be awesome if everything just "clicked" once you moved everyone under the same roof?

Imagine waking up every morning to smiles, hugs and kind words being generously shared among everyone in the family. That's a reality we'd love to live in.

But if you're anything like us, that's probably not the reality you've experienced.

Our reality has included some really disheartening moments. We've had seasons that were painful and uncertain. And in the midst of what felt like chaos we simply had to endure.

Here's the thing though…as we've learned to endure, we've realized that navigating the tough stuff in blended family life isn't just about surviving. The more we've moved through together, we've found ourselves thriving.

In this episode, we want to share 3 disheartening realities that every step-couple must deal with in their blending journey — and some ways to thrive in spite of them.

You'll Discover:

How the pain of 'merging' can keep couples stuck in avoidance, conflict and indecision - and what you can do to get unstuck
Practical ways to embrace the discomfort of uncertainty - even if you're a "fixer"
Why chaos is inevitable - and how to endure through it while creating a growth-minded family culture
How to move from controlling others to empowering others in your family

Resources from this Episode:

Our Online Course: Stepfamilies That Make It!
To learn more about RelateStrong, Click here to Schedule a FREE Coaching call

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

106. How to Avoid "Outlaw Words" [with Mark Warren]

24 augusti 2021 | 65 min

Every step-couple wants to experience healthy communication. They want to love each other with their words. But for most of us, when the tension hits and our words matter most — we seem to do our worst.

For years, we struggled to communicate when difficult issues popped up. Even the little irritations and disappointments seemed to derail our communication.

We frequently found ourselves stuck in painful cycles of conflict — unable to stay connected and effectively work through our issues.

Finally, we discovered something called "Outlaw Words".

These are key words that can quickly lead to conflict and disconnection — and our most critical conversations we're riddled with them. In fact, simply eliminating a few of these "Outlaw Words" from our vocabulary transformed the way we worked through our disagreements.

This simple change helped us end the recurring cycles of conflict and pain that we couldn't seem to get beyond. We're confident that this can be true for you too!

In this episode, we welcome back communication expert, Mark Warren, to uncover the most damaging words many of us tend to use. Mark offers alternative words, practical scripts and next steps to improve how we communicate in all our relationships.

Good communication is a skill everyone can learn — that means this episode is for you!

You'll Discover:

Why "Outlaw Word" awareness is so important
How certain words can trigger difficult emotions and send the wrong message
Practical steps and scripts that will help you stay connected — even when your upset, disappointed, or in disagreement
How learning to avoid "Outlaw Words" will improve your approach to parenting and grow genuine understanding

Resources from this Episode:

Want to contact Mark Warren? Find him here: https://markwarrenassociates.com/
FREE Cheat Sheet: How to Avoid Outlaw Words (from Mark Warren)
Episode 36: How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection (previous episode with Mark Warren)
We mentioned the video: It's Not About the Nail
We mentioned the video: Brene Brown on Empathy vs Sympathy

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

105. What powerful traits do you need to successfully blend and stay united?

17 augusti 2021 | 66 min

Love is all you need — right?

It might feel that way in the beginning. You're excited to start "blending" and you're confident you'll figure it out as you go along.

But when the unknown and unexpected dynamics of stepfamily life hit, you probably experience more chaos and conflict than you expected. That's when doubt can set in.

I (Mike) remember running into a season of doubt. My doubt wasn't only about whether we could make it work — I doubted myself.

I wasn't sure I had what it would take to experience the blended family I really wanted.

Eventually, I figured out that my real problem was I didn't even know what it would take to make it work. Sure, I had a few ideas, and on the outside I appeared to be confident in myself.

But inside, I was unsure about what I needed to be centered on in order to lead and love my family well.

Over the years, Kim and I both began discovering some of the essential traits we needed to keep forging ahead.

In this episode, we're sharing the 6 essential — and powerful — traits we discovered that kept us moving forward even when we disagreed.

Developing these 6 traits will help you too. They're essential to working through challenges around family bonding, parenting, and your marriage.

Every couple can experience unity and lead their family with confidence when they intentionally develop these powerful, personal traits!

You'll Discover:

The 6 powerful traits every blended family couple needs to experience unity and successfully lead their family
The truth around what makes these personal traits so powerful in reducing conflict and avoiding 'easy wrong turns'
Mike & Kim's personal struggles around developing these traits — and the transformation we've experienced as a result of our intentional focus

Resources from this Episode:

Episodes 103 & 104: 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and Their Bio-Kids
Episodes 101 & 102: Are You Overwhelmed Because Your Marriage Feels Like Too Much Work?

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

104. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 2)

10 augusti 2021 | 31 min

103. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 1)

3 augusti 2021 | 29 min

Everyone hopes to experience connection and fun times together as they begin "blending" families…

…but when family time is stressful, their high hopes get snatched away, and instead that time becomes a painful reminder that blending isn't as easy as they thought it might be.

We remember those moments when our hopes for a bonded family were dashed. And then we started learning about the value of the 1 on 1 strategy for bio relationships.

This strategy is the first step in paving the way to what you really want — and providing the kids with what they really need.

And for many couples, it can be hard to follow through with. It feels counterproductive and can trigger painful emotions and assumptions.

Many parents and stepparents start to believe some Myths about this 1 on 1 strategy and that robs them of the truth that genuine bonds in their blended family starts with a sense of security in the bio-relationships.

In this episode, we'll reveal the most common myths around this essential strategy and replace them with the counteractive truths so that you can start using this strategy with clarity and confidence!

You'll Discover:

How biological 1 on 1 connections pave the way for families to blend
4 myths that often keep couples stuck in conflict, disconnection, and pain
4 counter active truths to focus on as you work toward your family's long-term bonding goals
Practical tips for the bio and step-parent
Why it's so important to handle this issue with care and intentionality as a couple

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 3: How to Juggle Personal, Couple and Family Time
Episode 39: How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 93: How to Overcome Power Struggles When Kids Oppose Your Decision to Remarry
Episode 59: Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance
Episode 50 about Assertive Communication: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 98: Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Whole Heartedly?
Episode 26: Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step-Kids?
Episode 49: Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?
CLICK HERE to schedule a free coaching call with Mike & Kim

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

102. Are you overwhelmed because your marriage feels like too much work? (Part 2)

27 juli 2021 | 47 min

Every couple wants to experience connection, peace, and success as they navigate through the ups and downs of blended family life.

Most of us know it takes work to have a healthy, thriving marriage — but when the work feels impossible, it's easy to get stuck in painful cycles of unresolved issues and ongoing conflict.

In episode 101, we shared 4 "back-breakers" that make the work we needed to do harder than it needs to be. When we're facing these obstacles, things feel impossible and many couples are ready to throw in the towel.

We experienced that kind of hopelessness first hand in our journey…

…thankfully, we discovered 4 "load-lifters" that helped us get out from under the "back-breakers" and move toward resolution, healing and change!

In this episode, we'll share these 4 "load-lifters" and the practical steps you can take to put them into action. When you do, you'll be more equipped to move forward and engage in the work that needs to be done — without getting overwhelmed and stuck.

You'll Discover:

4 practical "load-lifters" to help you get out from under the "back-breakers" that keep you stuck and overwhelmed
Sensible steps to move toward resolution, healing and change
Encouragement (which we all need!) for your blended family journey

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 101: Are You Overwhelmed Because Your Marriage Feels Like Too Much Work? (Part 1)
Check out our Online Workshop: Stepfamilies That Make It!
CLICK HERE to schedule your free coaching call and discover how we might support you through our Coaching Program and Relate Strong

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

101. Are you overwhelmed because your marriage feels like too much work? (Part 1)

20 juli 2021 | 39 min

We all enjoy marriage so much more when things are going smoothly and we're working as a united team. But it's common for blended family couples to feel disconnected and overwhelmed by the problems and pain they experience regularly…

...and it can be easy to start believing it's impossible to move forward.

We struggled for years. We were stuck in painful cycles and unresolved issues that almost ended our marriage.

Eventually, we discovered 4 obstacles that were making the work we needed to do harder than it needed to be. We were breaking our backs on these obstacles and they were keeping us from resolving our issues.

In this episode, we're starting part 1 of a conversation where we'll share 4 "back-breakers" that kept us stuck far too long — and they might be keeping you stuck too!

Don't stay trapped in that place where the work you need to do as a couple is overwhelming, discouraging, and back-breaking.

Instead, let us help you get out from under the "back-breakers" by discovering how they're keeping you from experiencing what you really want!

You'll Discover:

Why blended family couples often feel overwhelmed and stuck by painful issues in their relationship
4 specific obstacles that can make things harder — and leave couples feeling that it's impossible to solve their problems
How these obstacles might be "breaking your backs" and keeping you from making real progress toward resolution, healing and change.

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience
Episode 51: Overcoming Discouragement
Book Recommendation: Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away by Gary Chapman

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

100. Heart-To-Heart Questions Between Mike and Kim — and Some Surprising Answers

13 juli 2021 | 52 min

99. 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret

6 juli 2021 | 47 min

Feelings of guilt and regret can really drag you down…

…and all too often in blended family life, guilt and regret are easily triggered. They sometimes keep you stuck — unable to break free from a heavy emotional burden.

Kim knows first-hand what it's like to be trapped in that place. She's also discovered that she didn't have to allow painful guilt and regret to dictate her decisions or negatively impact her life.

In this hope-filled episode Kim shares her personal struggles with debilitating guilt and regret — and ways she faced those difficult emotions in order to move beyond them.

Listen in to discover a new mindset, practical tips and fresh encouragement to help you break free from the burden of guilt and regret.

You'll Discover:

The difference between guilt and regret
The truth about 'false guilt' and why it's irrational, destructive and futile
How unhealthy guilt can negatively impact your parenting, marriage and overall wellbeing
Why people living in stepfamily dynamics are especially prone to experiencing painful emotions connected to guilt and regret
3 practical and healthy ways to overcome the burden of guilt and regret

Resources from this Episode:

Article by Paul Coughlin: Origins of False Guilt
Episode 91: Is Your Husband's Hostile Ex-Wife Invading Your life, Stealing Your Joy and Confidence? (Tips apply to all co-parenting relationships)
Episode 53: Overcoming Discouragement
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Disappointment

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

98. Is fear of being vulnerable keeping you from loving your spouse wholeheartedly?

29 juni 2021 | 42 min

We all want to be known.

We want to feel understood, connected, and unconditionally loved by our spouses. But most blended family couples tend to run into some painful barriers that lead to guardedness, insecurity, and fear within their marriage.

We've struggled with those barriers in our own marriage and they sabotaged us from getting what we really wanted. Over time, we discovered that there was a way around the barriers.

What was it?

Vulnerability.

It might sound simple, but the truth is, vulnerability involves real challenges and risks — it takes courage.

It's worth the risk though because learning to connect through vulnerability can ultimately lead you to love wholeheartedly and be truly known in your marriage.

In this episode, we'll share our personal challenges with vulnerability, as well as some insights and discoveries from several experts around why vulnerability can be so difficult — and how you can move beyond the barriers to experience real connection and deeper intimacy in your relationship.

You'll Discover:

The importance of loving whole-heartedly — even when it feels risky
How your past experiences can trigger pain and impact your current relationship
Why vulnerability is vital if you want to be fully known and experience true intimacy and connection
How fear, shame, insecurity and mistrust can keep you stuck and unable to show up authentically in your relationship

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 5: How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers from Your Past
Nick Wignall's Article: Emotional Vulnerability: What It Is and Why It Matters
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Brene Brown's Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability
Article by Kara McDuffee: A Vulnerability Hangover and 6 Steps to Overcome It
CLICK HERE to schedule a free coaching call with us

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We want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

97. The Warning Signs Every Parent Needs to Know About Adolescent Addiction [with Richard Capriola]

22 juni 2021 | 57 min

We all want to keep our kids safe. We want to protect them from the dangers of our world.

But the reality is that every child from every background and in every community is at risk of experimenting with drugs and alcohol and even developing an addiction…

…and the warning signs of addictive behavior can sometimes be hard to spot.

We personally know the shock, disappointment, anger and heartbreak that comes when a child turns to drugs and alcohol. Our daughter experienced an extended season of using. She was simply trying to fit in with her peers, but at a deeper level she was attempting to cope with painful emotions that she was struggling with. Her self-destructive behaviors lead to turmoil in our home — and conflict in our marriage.

In this episode, we welcome Richard Capriola. He's an expert and educator who's passionate about helping parents build awareness and spot the early warning signs of substance abuse.

Richard has published a book that offers practical guidance and hope for parents. He has had a long career as an addictions counselor, supporting children and their parents through each stage of addiction and recovery.

Don't be fooled into thinking your kids are free from the pressure and lure of experimenting with drugs or alcohol. You can discover how to keep watch for the early warning signs.

This interview with Richard is for every parent, step-parent, or co-parent who wants to build awareness or who needs help with a child who is currently struggling.

You'll Discover:

Why every parent needs to be equipped with awareness and information around adolescent addiction
How to spot the warning signs and consider the difference between normal adolescent/teen behavior and underlying issues of substance use
Effective and loving ways to engage in conversation with your child around your concerns
How to get an accurate assessment of your child's specific behaviors
Hope, encouragement, guidance and confidence for parents, step-parents and co-parents navigating through a child's addiction
Why marijuana use for adolescents is not a wise option for treating anxiety

Resources from this Episode:

Richard's Book: The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse
Companion Workbook: The Addicted Child: Workbook
To contact Richard directly: www.helptheaddictedchild.com
Episode 87: Mike and Annika Chat About Her Experience Growing Up in Our Home
CLICK HERE to schedule a free coaching call with Mike & Kim

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We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Thank you!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

96. Celebrate Father's Day by Honoring the Dad and/or Stepdad in Your Home

15 juni 2021 | 27 min

Husbands in stepfamilies have some challenging responsibilities.

As Dad or Stepdad (or both!), they tend to carry a lot on their shoulders.

They might not always say it — but most men need to feel appreciated and affirmed for all they do.

Father's Day is a perfect opportunity to honor the man in your home simply by saying a few words to him — the ones he really needs to hear!

In this episode, Mike shares the 3 most meaningful messages he's received from Kim over the years and how these affirmations impact him.

By the way, this episode is for you hubbys to check out too. Your wife isn't a mind reader and you'll want to help her understand what resonates most with you. All you'll need to do is simply communicate that so she'll know exactly how to love you better — this Father's Day and beyond!

You might want to listen together as a couple or listen independently and then talk about it later.

Either way, don't miss this unique and fun episode!

You'll Discover:

3 powerful messages every husband needs to hear
Creative ways you can affirm and encourage your man on Father's Day (and beyond)
Encouragement for husbands to communicate what they really need

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

95. Do You Dread Negotiating Schedule Changes with your Ex - Try These 5 Practical Tips

8 juni 2021 | 38 min

You want to experience fun summer activities and events as a family, but you may need to readjust your visitation schedule so that you can include everyone…

…and that means negotiating changes with your Ex — which might trigger disagreement, conflict or disappointment.

If you're dreading that conversation because things haven't gone well in the past or there's been tension between homes, you're not alone! We've been there more times that we can count.

In this episode, we'll share 5 practical tips that'll prepare you to approach negotiating with an Ex from a healthy perspective — and help you work through your frustrations and disappointments.

You'll also discover some ways to help your kids process their disappointment if you just can't work that negotiation out and they end up missing something fun.

You'll Discover:

5 practical tips around negotiating schedule changes with an Ex
How to stay focused on what's most important — the kids
Strategies to build your co-parenting relationship and avoid conflict
How to handle disappointment when things don't go your way (or the kid's way)

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 94: 70 Summer Activities to Create Family Time and Encourage Bonding
Episode 67: The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Disappointment
Book Recommendation: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

94. 70 Summer Activities to Create Family Time and Encourage Bonding

1 juni 2021 | 62 min

We all tend to head into stepfamily life hoping that close bonds will develop and everyone will enjoy spending time together. But this doesn't usually happen as easily or as quickly as we'd like.

Instead, most of us are blindsided by the amount of chaos, tension and resistance that pops up around every corner. It can leave us frustrated, confused or even hopeless.

If you relate to that at all, you might be at a loss about how to approach bonding when relational tension is high and the kids are either acting out, or shutting down.

Here's the good news — you're normal! Most blended families face these challenges — and the really good news is that with the right mindset and strategy you can encourage and enjoy family time, while patiently waiting for bonds to grow.

In this fun episode, we'll share some of our favorite family time ideas — and how you can build a bonding strategy that'll set your family up to experience fun-filled adventures and memorable moments together this summer!

And to help you out, we've created a cheat sheet for you to download that's free! You'll discover 70 bonding ideas that are organized based on where your family is right now in the bonding process.

CLICK HERE to grab your free copy.

You'll Discover:

The best approach to bonding and building family connections
How a strategic approach to bonding can lead to positive experiences and family time success — especially when tensions are high
70 ideas to help you try out new opportunities for family time, as well as one-on-one time this summer — including our family's favorites
Your free cheat sheet to strategically plan your family's summertime activities

Resources from this Episode:

CLICK HERE to grab your FREE copy of the cheat sheet for this episode
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Disappointment
Episode 47: How to Like Your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
Episode 39: How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Episode 23: How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
Episode 25: How to Survive Time Along with Your Step-Kids
CLICK HERE to send us your family's WINS throughout the summer

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

93. How to Overcome Power Struggles when Kids Oppose Your Decision to Remarry

25 maj 2021 | 55 min

92. At a loss and feeling defeated because the kids stubbornly refuse to blend?

18 maj 2021 | 44 min

You might have imagined that "blending" would be relatively smooth and easy.

But reality hit when your child refused to engage - no matter what you say or do they resist moving forward, and even reject that new person in your life.

The tension and conflict leaves you bewildered and it robs you of the happiness you want to experience.

One of our listeners understands this all too well — her family is struggling and she asked us to help. Her teenage daughters have refused to accept her decision to remarry and will not "get on board" with blending.

There are no easy fixes when kids choose to dig in their heels and defiantly object to your relationship. They may be struggling with fear, loss, insecurity or troubling emotions that keep them stuck in resistance.

But don't lose hope, because there are practical steps you can take to help the kids process and gradually let go of their negative beliefs around blending.

In this episode, we'll share some insights and effective strategies to ease the tension and help your family move forward.

You'll Discover:

Powerful messages your kids and step-kids need to receive from you — especially when they're refusing to blend
Effective ways to help kids move through their difficult emotions
Encouragement and hope for your family's journey

Resources from this Episode:

Book Recommendation: Building Love Together In Blended Families by Ron Deal & Gary Chapman
Episode: 85 - How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family with special guest Ron Deal
Book Recommendation: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Disappointment
Episode 40: Uncover the Unspoken Feelings of Kids in Blended Families
Episode 9: A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids
Episode 37: Why do Kids Struggle to Accept the Stepparent?

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

We want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast. Just click here to Review, Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our Patreon community. Consider joining for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

91. Is your husband's hostile ex-wife invading your life, stealing your joy and confidence?

11 maj 2021 | 50 min

90. How to Experience a Happy Mother's Day by Minimizing Tension and Disappointment

4 maj 2021 | 42 min

There's no way to soften the blow when Mother's Day expectations are crushed. We all want to experience a relaxed, fun-filled day and we all deserve to be honored as moms and stepmoms. But in the context of a blended family, it isn't so simple.

Over the years, we've heard heartbreaking stories of disappointment from stepmoms who've experienced rejection and exclusion on Mother's Day — and they're left to wonder why?

As a bio-mom in a blended family, I've experienced disappointment, frustration and resentment as my daughter's attention was divided on Mother's Day. I wanted it to be all about me, but the other home had their own expectations too.

And what about husbands? They're stuck in the middle and unsure how to respond to their hurting wife, without pressuring the kids.

Mother's Day in a blended family can be uncomfortable and stressful for everyone! What should be a special day of celebrating the women who devote themselves to raising children, often turns into something very different and disappointing.

If you're a stepmom, bio-mom or a husband and you're ready to ditch the disappointment and experience something new, this episode is for you!

Don't miss this chance to prepare yourself (and the entire family) for a better Mother's Day experience…even if you can't change anything about your circumstances!

You'll Discover:

How to let go of unrealistic expectations by redirecting your focus
How empathy and grace can help to relieve tensions
Practical tips for husbands
Communication strategies
How to relieve pressure and help kids honor both step & bio mom

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 29: What is a Loyalty Bind and what can you do about it?
Episode 9: A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

89. Feeling Stuck in the Change Process? Change isn't the Issue — Transition Is

27 april 2021 | 50 min

Most of us start our blended family journey with high expectations and excitement about our family's future.

We might know that many things are going to have to change — and change is hard, right?

Surprisingly, no. Change isn't hard…

…it's the process of transition where most of us get stuck. Somewhere along the way, most of us are left wondering why it's so difficult to reach the new reality we really want — a reality we're sure will be good for everyone once we get there.

The truth is, it's normal for adults and kids to experience pain and frustration as they release "the old way" of life and adjust to their new blended family reality.

That's transition.

The good news is that nobody has to stay stuck in the confusing haze of transition. You can intentionally take steps to ease the tension and help everyone embrace your new beginning — even if you've been blending for years!

In this episode, we'll show you how.

You'll Discover:

Why new beginnings seem to trigger loss in a blended family
What is the "neutral zone" and how do you get through it
How to help everyone move toward the positive aspects of change, while navigating through the pain of transition

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

88. An Effective Strategy to Prepare Your Kids for the Challenges of Blending

20 april 2021 | 38 min

Most of us want to make things easy and fun for our kids. Especially when they've already been through so much in the past.

Now you've fallen in love and are getting ready to blend your family, but you know it might not be as "easy and fun" as you'd like it to be. You want to help them experience a smooth transition, but you just don't know how.

And that sense of being unsure might be robbing you of the ability to be intentional and proactive in the "blending" process.

For blended families, a proactive approach helps prepare all the kids to merge households — and create a better outcome for step-child / step-parent relationships.

In this episode, we've got a practical strategy that will make a HUGE difference in blending and bonding. Plus, we'll share a few tips that will help your family avoid some common mistakes.

And if you've already been blending for a while but it's not going quite as smoothly as you'd like — it's not too late! This strategy can help get you back on track.

You'll Discover:

How to prepare your kids for the blending process while protecting step-relationships
A practical strategy to clearly identify potential challenges and take action now
Why it's so important to get on the same page around your parenting goals
How to stay connected as a couple in parenting decisions

Resources from this Episode:

Online Workshop: Stepfamilies That Make It!
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 63: 5 Strategies to Help You Get United — Even When You Disagree
Episode 18: How to Help Kids Navigate Transition and Change
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 77: 3 Unique Differences that make a Blended Family Marriage Challenging
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger, Trapped Teammate Experience (part 1 of 3)
CLICK HERE to Schedule Your Free Coaching Call

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Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

87. Mike and Annika Chat About Her Experience Growing Up in Our Home

13 april 2021 | 66 min

In this unique episode you'll get to listen in on a candid conversation between me (Mike) and my step-daughter, Annika.

We wanted to understand more about what it was like for Annika growing up in our blended family — so, I asked her to simply be open and honest as she answered some tough and insightful questions.

Simple questions like:

As a step-parent, what do you think I did well?
What do you wish I would've done differently?

The answers she gave kind of surprised me and they might surprise you too.

Annika expressed some of her feelings around the hardest things about life in our blended family and the struggles we faced over the past 20 years.

She openly shares about her experience with our 'tough love' boundaries, her challenges around accepting authority from me, what makes her feel loved and a few of her favorite memories.

We hope you're encouraged by this sincere conversation between Mike & Annika.

Resources from this Episode:

Click Here to schedule a Free Coaching Session with Mike & Kim
Episode 52: Overcoming Discouragement (with Jake & Whitney)
Episode 85: How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family with Special Guest Ron Deal
Book Recommendation: Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman and Ron Deal
Want to learn more about JR Ranch? Click Here
Episode 42: Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

We want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We'd be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

86. 2 Effective Strategies to Strengthen Family Bonds and Reduce Painful Tension

6 april 2021 | 34 min

Surly you love your kids and step-kids.

You probably have a desire to build strong bonds with them, but somehow that might be proving more difficult than you first imagined.

It's common for the relational complexities of a blended family to work against you when it comes to your kids actually feeling love and connection.

And it's not just the kids — you might struggle to feel loved in your couple-relationship when both of your "love needs" aren't being met…

…this can magnify tension in your home and leave you feeling disconnected.

We have personally felt the loneliness that all of this creates. Feeling lonely in a house full of people can be gut wrenching.

But, we didn't give up! Instead, we learned how to reduce our pain, disconnection, and conflict and help everyone in the home feel loved and bonded.

We discovered a secret strategy that over time, helped everyone in our home to experience genuine love, security and connection.

In this episode, you'll hear about some of our real-life challenges as we learned how to blend well and love well over the past 20 years!

You'll Discover:

Unique ways to express love and create meaningful connection in your blended family
How to simplify parenting and practically meet all the kid's emotional love needs — without getting overwhelmed
A powerful strategy to help ease painful dynamics in your marriage
How to avoid the mistake of unintentionally magnifying marital tensions and creating love competition in your blended family

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 85: How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family with Special Guest: Ron Deal
Book: Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman & Ron Deal
Our online workshop: Stepfamilies that Work!
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience? (Part 1 of 3)

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our comm

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

85. How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family [with Ron Deal]

30 mars 2021 | 76 min

Everyone wants a "good blend"…

…the closeness, happiness, trust, and emotional safety that helps us experience love in our blended family.

But, many of us quickly find that love is complicated in blended family life. Unmet expectations, confusion and hurt feelings seem to invade our home and it's hard to know how to make sense of it all.

We've felt those and many more disappointments over the years, but thankfully there was more to the story — and we weren't alone in our journey.

We found some guidance and resources early on from a leading expert in blended family life — Ron Deal.

Recently, we had a chance to talk with Ron about the recent book that he co-authored with Gary Chapman called Building Love Together in Blended Families. In it, he and Gary unpack some of the unique ways that blended families can use Gary's concept of the 5 Love Languages.

In this episode, you'll get to listen in on our discussion and gain some valuable insight directly from Ron. You certainly don't want to miss this episode!

You'll Discover:

Why love is so complicated in a blended family
What Love Language "Dialects" are and how you can use them
How to avoid unintentionally "stepping on" the Love Language of others
Why lowering expectations and letting go can help build love in your blended family

Resources from this Episode:

Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman & Ron L. Deal
To check out additional books, go here: Ron Deal
https://smartstepfamilies.com/
https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/blended-families/
Preparing to Blend: The Couple's Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily by Ron L. Deal (Releasing in September 2021 and available for pre-order)
Episode 72: The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 76: How to Restore Your Relationship with a Child After You've Messed Up

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” - Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month.

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

84. How to Cope With Sadness, Anxiety, and Longing While Your Kids Are Gone

23 mars 2021 | 43 min

One of the most painful realities of my divorce was facing the fact that my daughter would be splitting her time between two homes.

Every time Annika left for her dad's house, I would feel empty, disconnected and even numb.

After I remarried, I wanted to engage in normal life with Mike and our mutual kids while Annika was at her dad's — but for me, things just weren't normal and I didn't feel "okay".

I was constantly thinking of Annika. I was missing her and worrying about her. And I didn't want our family to engage in anything fun or memorable until she returned. I kind of wanted to "press pause" on life every other week.

Needless to say, this dynamic created emotional tensions. Not just for me, but for the rest of my family as well.

In this episode, we'll share how we gradually learned to respond to my ongoing grief and Mike's feelings of abandonment and frustration which sometimes still creeps into our family — even 20 years later!

Listen in to find out how you can manage emotional tensions and show up well for each other (and the rest of your family) while struggling through this common dynamic.

You'll Discover:

The real-life struggles we faced when Kim was missing her daughter and dealing with ongoing grief
How a parent's ongoing grief can impact everyone in the blended family
Healthy ways to manage anxiety, sadness and emotional tension when you're missing your bio-kids
Tips on how you can show up well when your spouse is struggling and seems to be disconnecting from you in their ongoing grief

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Disappointment
Nick Wignall Article: Scheduled Sadness: Why You Should Make Time to Be Sad on Purpose
Nick Wignall's Article: Self-Care: What It Really Is and How to Do It Well

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

83. 4 Everyday Favoritism Traps That Dishearten Kids in a Blended Family

16 mars 2021 | 44 min

Favoritism is kind of a "yucky" word in families — but the truth is favoritism can pop up in some unexpected ways in just about any family. And blending families can be particularly susceptible.

When unintended favoritism creeps in, it can wreak havoc and do long-term damage to relationships.

The first step to protecting your blended family from this kind of enemy is to understand all the ways that subtle favoritism can sneak into your unique situation.

In this episode you'll discover four specific, everyday areas where many couples tend to have blind spots around the messages they might be sending to their kids.

The first step to battling blind spots is awareness. Understanding what they are and how they might be unintentionally setting your family up to experience favoritism is critical.

We'll help you uncover those blind spots and then work together to safeguard against favoritism - and avoid disheartening pain, resentment and disconnection in your blended family.

You'll Discover:

Two unexpected favoritism 'danger zones' that can unintentionally create favoritism in your blended family
Four common blind spots that every step couple needs to be aware of
How favoritism impacts the kids and leads to conflict and disconnection

Resources from this Episode:

Ron Deal's Article: Playing Favorites Can Wreak Havoc in a Blended Family
Episode 13: How to Parent As A Team in Your Blended Family
Blog Article: Two Simple Steps to Move Past Paralyzed Parenting
Schedule your Free Coaching Call with Mike & Kim

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

82. How a Missing Bio-Parent Impacts Kids in the Delicate Blending Process (Part 2)

9 mars 2021 | 33 min

This is the second half of our conversation from last week where we discussed the sensitive topic of kid's grieving when one of their parents is absent in their life.

If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 81 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll also explore how this dynamic might impact the blending process. It can sometimes create unique barriers in a child's ability to accept a step-parent.

If you or someone you know is facing this reality in their blended family, please don't miss this episode.

You'll Discover:

How kids experience different kinds of grief
Why they can idealize their missing parent and how that impacts you
Why it's important to create a 'safe space' for kids when they're struggling
How to keep connecting to grieving kids and create security for all the relationships in the home
How to navigate the fine line of speaking truth without dashing the kid's hopes and dreams of reconnecting with their disengaged parent

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 8: Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
Book Recommendation: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
Ron Deal's Podcast Episode: When a Parent Goes M.I.A. with Andy and Heather Hetchler
Article: Where's Mom? The Disengaged Biological Parent by Ron Deal

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

81. How a Missing Bio-Parent Impacts Kids in the Delicate Blending Process (Part 1)

2 mars 2021 | 30 min

The best scenario for kids is when they can have a healthy relationship with both of the parents they love.

Sadly, many kids in blended families have a gaping hole in their life because one of their parents is absent. Whether a parent's absence is due to abandonment, inconsistency, or death — the impact can be heartbreaking.

Missing a parent who is absent can be one of the hardest realities for kids to work through. And it might be one of the most challenging struggles for that remaining parent to face. Watching your kids grieve over that missing relationship they long for can leave you feeling helpless.

But if you're feeling like there's nothing you can do, we want to bring you some encouragement in this episode.

We're discussing this sensitive topic to understand how kid's grieve the loss of a parent — and how you can best respond when you're left to pick up the pieces.

We'll also explore how this dynamic might impact the blending process. It can create sometimes create unique barriers in a child's ability to accept a step-parent.

If you or someone you know is facing this reality in their blended family, please don't miss this episode.

You'll Discover:

How kids experience different kinds of grief
Why they can idealize their missing parent and how that impacts you
Why it's important to create a 'safe space' for kids when they're struggling
How to keep connecting to grieving kids and create security for all the relationships in the home
How to navigate the fine line of speaking truth without dashing the kid's hopes and dreams of reconnecting with their disengaged parent

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 8: Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
Book Recommendation: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
Ron Deal's Podcast Episode: When a Parent Goes M.I.A. with Andy and Heather Hetchler
Article: Where's Mom? The Disengaged Biological Parent by Ron Deal

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

We want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

80. From "Mostly Miserable" to "More In Love" — One Couple's Inspiring Transformation [with Wes & Jennie]

23 februari 2021 | 38 min

Blended family marriage is unique and it takes intentional effort to stay connected and communicate well. That is especially true when the typical stressors, pressures and disagreements hit.

There seem to be these times along the way when we simply don't know how to handle the unique dynamics or manage conflict well. And if we don't intentionally do something about it, it can be detrimental to our marriage — and our entire blended family.

We know about these kinds of challenges first hand and so do our clients Wes and Jennie. They've experienced more than their fair share of challenges in a relatively short amount of time. With 10 kids between the two of them, the challenges of negotiating with Ex's and their differing communication-styles, you can imagine the pressure it all puts on their marriage.

We got to chat with Wes and Jennie in this episode where they describe feeling "discouraged, disconnected, confused and mostly miserable". At one point, they were stuck in heated arguments and couldn't see eye to eye. But they didn't allow themselves to stay stuck there…

…realizing they needed help working through their blended family issues, they reached out for support and got to work!

Their hard work and intentional investment has led to a transformation in their marriage and that's making a huge difference for their blended family!

You'll relate to their painful challenges — those common roadblocks that tend to keep blended family couples from fully connecting and enjoying their relationship.

We hope our chat with Wes and Jennie reminds you that you're not alone.

We hope it challenges you to do something new just like they did.

And we hope it inspires you to invest in your marriage — even if you're feeling discouraged right now.

Resources from this Episode:

Schedule your Free Coaching Call with Mike & Kim
Episode 50 - How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 36 - How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection
Episode 65 - 6 Simple Steps for Inviting Your Spouse to Get Help With You

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

79. 4 Conflict Communication Patterns that are Hurtful and Toxic to Your Relationship

16 februari 2021 | 37 min

Every couple has conflict.

That's a simple reality we should all expect — especially for those of us who live each day in the challenges of blended family dynamics.

But one thing that's not so simple, is fully understanding the unhealthy ways most of us tend to react when conflict hits. It's tough to identify exactly how to avoid those toxic reactions that many of us have. And left unchecked, they can lead to damaging our relationship and long-term unresolved issues.

In this episode, we'll uncover four communication patterns that often pop up for couples when conflict strikes. Research shows that these patterns are detrimental to your relationship — we’ll talk about why you've got to be aware of these patterns so that you can avoid them at all costs.

We'll also share four simple and practical ways to minimize those unhealthy communication patterns and replace them with positive approaches that'll help keep you connected.

When inevitable conflict hits, you'll want to know how you can communicate in a way that helps you work together to resolve your blended family issues.

You'll Discover:

The 4 communication patterns that ultimately damage relationships
How these 4 patterns get in the way of resolving issues and end up creating disconnection in relationships
What the research reveals about how these 4 communication patterns negatively impact marriage
4 simple antidotes that will help you to avoid toxic interactions and create healthier patterns of communication in your relationship

Resources from this Episode:

iMOM Article: Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage with a Spark Jar
Schedule your Free Coaching Call with Mike & Kim
Scott River Lodge Retreat: https://www.scottriverlodge.com
Check out this video from Scott River Lodge

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

78. Cultivating More Passion, Intimacy and Commitment in Your Marriage

9 februari 2021 | 40 min

Every relationship starts with attraction and some passion. And true intimacy grows as we get to know and discover each other. And then we make the decision to commit ourselves exclusively to each other through saying our "I do's".

But this is just the beginning of building a lifelong love.

As time goes by challenges of blending set in, life gets busy and stressful. It's common for passion, intimacy and commitment to slowly subside.

And while it's unrealistic to expect that you'll maintain the same sizzling level of passion, or the deep connection of intimacy, or the strong resolve of commitment — that doesn't mean the flames of romance have to just burn out.

In this episode, we'll share some practical ways that you can cultivate more passion, intimacy and commitment in your marriage.

You'll Discover:

3 elements every marriage needs to be successful
Simple ways to cultivate more passion, intimacy and commitment in your relationship
Blended family challenges that can decrease passion, intimacy and commitment — and how to keep moving forward
What happens when a marriage lacks passion, intimacy or commitment

Resources from this Episode:

Scott River Lodge Retreat: https://www.scottriverlodge.com
Check out this video from Scott River Lodge
Book Reference: Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts by Les & Leslie Parrott
iMOM Article: Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage with a Spark Jar
Book Recommendation: His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
Episode 51: Overcoming Discouragement (Part 1)
Schedule your Free Coaching Call with Mike & Kim

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

We encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

77. 3 Unique Differences That Make a Blended Family Marriage Challenging

2 februari 2021 | 34 min

Maybe we all start out on a similar romantic path — we meet, connect at a deep level and then fall in love.

But when the dating stage gives way to everyone living under the same roof, blended family couples inevitably seem to be thrust toward a path of unforeseen challenges that rob them of that connection and excitement of falling in love.

Why is this? Because a blended family marriage is simply different than a first family marriage.

You might believe that when it comes to marriage, there shouldn't be much difference between a blended family couple and first family couples — this seems quite reasonable.

But the truth is, holding onto that belief for too long will typically lead to feeling trapped in disappointment, discouragement, and disconnection. It's an unrealistic expectation to think that connection and romance in a blended family will look the same as a first family.

We fell into this trap too — and stayed stuck for several years. Thankfully we learned how to get out of the trap of this false belief. It started with a really simple step — naming and accepting the differences.

In this episode, we'll uncover the 3 most challenging differences between a first family marriage and a blended family marriage — and why we're all prone to experiencing these.

You'll Discover:

Why understanding the differences between a first family marriage and a blended family marriage is so important
3 major differences that impact almost every blended family couple
How to prepare yourself for unexpected challenges in your relationship

Resources from this Episode:

Scott River Lodge Retreat: https://www.scottriverlodge.com
Gil & Brenda Stuart's Article: Remarried Couples Can Be Astronomically Different…Here’s How
Episode 5: How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers from Your Past
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience (Part 1)?
Episode 59: Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance (Part 1)?
iMOM Article: Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage with a Spark Jar

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safeguarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

76. How to Restore Your Relationship with a Child After You've Messed Up

26 januari 2021 | 37 min

The truth is there are going to be times when we mess up.

We unintentionally lose control…we make mistakes…and the result is usually distance and tension in our most important relationships.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent — or a perfect step-parent.

And the good news is, when we say or do something that causes hurt feelings, we don't have to stay stuck in the disconnection and awkwardness it creates!

In this episode, we'll share some intentional steps you can take to make amends and experience a restored relationship with your child or step-child.

This is well worth the effort and will lead to positive interaction, forgiveness and set you both on a better path toward healing and reconnection!

You'll Discover:

A simple process for recovering from parenting mistakes that create relational tension with your kids and step-kids
Why apologizing to kids can be challenging — and what's at risk when you avoid it
How to overcome common barriers and make positive progress to restore your relationship — even when things are awkward
An "on-the-spot" strategy for damage control when you've said or done something hurtful

Resources from this Episode:

Article from imom: 5 Ways to Fix Things After You Yell at Your Kids
Episode 39: How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Episode 37: Why do Kids Struggle to Accept their Step-Parent?
Episode 9: A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids
Episode 64: How to Set Yourself Free by Choosing to Forgive
Episode 47: How to Like your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
CLICK HERE to Schedule Your Free Coaching Call with Mike and Kim

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

75. How to Use Personality Insights to Improve Your Approach to Parenting

19 januari 2021 | 37 min

I wanted to connect with my step-daughter, Annika from day 1. But sometimes — if I was really honest, she drove me a bit nuts.

Her habits, choices and approach to life was waaayyy different than mine. I spent a lot of energy trying to "correct" her, but usually I was left exhausted and it never seemed to make a difference.

I couldn't understand why she just didn't seem to get it — and that wedge of frustration created distance between us…

…exactly the opposite of the connection I was looking for.

Finally, I started learning about personality focused parenting. I spent just a little time discovering Annika's personality-type - how she organized and viewed the world, made decisions and derived energy.

I was amazed at how this small insight changed the way I connected with her. And it didn't stop there!

Listen in on this episode to hear about how discovering personality-types has impacted all the relationships in our family…

You'll Discover:

Why it's important to recognize the uniqueness of each child in your home
How parenting might impact kids' self-perceptions
How personality focused parenting impacts teaching
Why personality focused parenting is powerful for bonding with step-kids

Resources from this Episode:

Book Suggestion: Nurture by Nature by Paul Tieger & Barbara Barron-Tieger

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

74. How to Develop Appropriate and Effective Consequences that Empower Responsibility

12 januari 2021 | 51 min

Ever wondered why your usual 'go-to' consequences for the kids seem to have lost their impact? Or maybe you've been struggling to get on the same page as a couple to come up with consequences that you're able to follow through with?

We want our kids to learn self-control and take responsibility for their poor choices. But it feels like we've run out of options to respond with consequences that actually help kids learn.

When Mike and I were stuck there, it took us a while to figure out the secret to discovering appropriate and effective consequences — ones that helped our kids easily connect to their poor behavior and pick up important life lessons.

In this episode, we'll share the 5-step process we've used for years to develop appropriate consequences that are not only effective, but have also given us a solid plan we can stand behind as a parenting team!

You'll Discover:

A 5-step process to developing appropriate and effective consequences
Why the usual 'go-to' consequences lose their effectiveness
The difference between punishments and consequences
How creative consequences mirror real-life — which helps kids take responsibility for themselves and make better choices

Resources from this Episode:

FREE DOWNLOAD: 5-Step Consequence Plan Worksheet
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Episode 19: How to Help Step-Siblings to Get Along Better
Episode 4: Can You Overcome Your Parenting Style Differences?
Episode 13: How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Family
Episode 17: 6 Simple Steps that will Help You Respond to Disrespect
Episode 59 & 60: Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance
Episode 63: 5 Strategies to Help You Get United - Even When You Disagree
Love & Logic Anticipatory Consequence Technique
Create your family's "Code of Conduct" with our workshop: Stepfamilies That Make It!

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Consider joining our communi

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

73. 4 Simple Principles for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Kids

5 januari 2021 | 39 min

You might think that 'boundaries' are just about getting kids to comply and behave — but that really isn't the goal.

Loving boundaries provide stability, motivation and training so that kids develop self-control, respect, and responsibility for life.

Most of us understand that boundaries are an important focus for every family — but in a blended family, things tend to feel overwhelming and complicated.

In this episode, we'll share a simple 4-step process that'll help you work as a team to set and uphold healthy, appropriate boundaries.

Plus, you'll find out if you're making some of the most common 'missteps' when it comes to setting healthy parenting boundaries in a blended family. And we'll share how you can communicate your expectations to the kids in a way that's both firm and loving.

You'll Discover:

Why healthy boundaries are necessary in raising responsible, respectful kids
A specific 4-step process for setting and upholding appropriate boundaries
How to implement boundaries using an authoritative parenting style that's both loving and firm
Why appropriate boundaries convey love and care to kids
3 tips that'll motivate the kids to respect your home's boundaries

Resources from this Episode:

Book: Boundaries with Kids by Drs. Cloud and Townsend
Book: Boundaries with Teens by Dr. Cloud and Townsend
Online Workshop: Stepfamilies That Make It
Episode 28: What If What You Think Is Defiance Is Actually Something Else?
Episode 4: Can You Overcome Your Parenting Style Differences?
Episode 25: How To Survive Time Alone With Your Step-Kids

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

72. The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships

29 december 2020 | 34 min

Most step-couples start out trying to simply use common sense around how to "blend" their family and create bonded relationships.

But it seems like we quickly discover that our common sense around bonding doesn't work very well and we're not getting where we really want to be.

Unfortunately, our initial ideas around how to bond in a blended family actually might create unhealthy barriers. Many couples unintentionally build pressure and unrealistic expectations for themselves and everyone in the family.

In this episode you'll discover the BEST way to "cook" a blended family and how to avoid the most common missteps when it comes to bonding and "blending".

You'll Discover:

The BEST way to "Cook" your stepfamily
3 'common sense' assumptions that create barriers to bonding
How to reduce the pressure for everyone in your blended family
Why the "Instant Family" approach doesn't work
The secret to "blending" while honoring each unique family member
How you can gain healthy, realistic expectations and timeframes

Resources from this Episode:

Book Suggestion: The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal
Our discussion with Ron on the FamilyLife Blended podcast: A Battle for your Child and a Fight for your Marriage
Episode 15: 7 Unexpected Realities that Can Leave You Feeling Blindsided
Episode 14: 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionist" Ideals and Disappointment

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

71. How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment

22 december 2020 | 48 min

The holidays are a time for laughter, joy, connection and peace. But for blended families, all of that can be hijacked by our kids' difficult emotions and disappointment. And for most of us it's hard to know how to respond.

Kim's daughter, Annika struggled with difficult emotions moving between two homes — and her disappointment seemed especially sensitive around the holidays.

Her sullen behavior was hard for us to understand and we didn't always know how to help her work through her emotions in a healthy way.

In this episode, we'll share some of what we've learned about showing up well for your kids when they're stressed or expressing disappointment this week as you head into the holidays. (oh, and by the way what we'll share will be helpful beyond the holiday season as well!)

You'll Discover:

A practical 5-step process to emotionally support your kids that will help them cope with difficult emotions and lead to more self-control
How loyalty and loss impacts kids — especially around the holidays
The best way to approach your child when they're feeling disappointment and build a stronger connection with them
What to do when you're feeling uneasy, inadequate or emotional yourself
Why avoiding your kid's emotional struggles can actually increase their pain

Resources from this Episode:

Blog Article: How to Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Blog Article: Empathy or Avoidance…Which Do You Choose?
Nick Wignall's Article: How to Raise Emotionally Resilient Kids
Blog Article: Help Your Kids and Step-Kids When Emotions Are High
Episode 29: What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
John Gottman's Book: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Jody Bergsma's "Sometimes I Feel" Poster: Garden of Children
Sabrina McDonald's Article: A Time to Grieve During Stepfamily Holidays
Blog Article: Blended Family Holiday Blues: 3 Tips For When You're Missing Your Kids

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We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

70. 5 Simple Ingredients for Healthy Tech Habits with Your Kids [with Rob Hayes-St. Clair]

15 december 2020 | 64 min

We all want our kids to be healthy and safe. We spend lots of time and energy teaching them, encouraging them, and protecting them from the dangers of life.

But when it comes to our kids and technology, many of us feel like it's nearly impossible to keep up with the threats our kids are exposed to.

Research shows that technology is the number one reason parents believe raising their children today is more complicated than in the past — and for those of us in blended families, it's even more complex!

As this week's podcast episode releases, we're coming up on the Christmas holiday and we're betting more than one tree has a piece of technology under it — all wrapped up with a beautiful bow.

You're excited for your child or step-child to open it, but maybe you have a sense of dread lingering inside when you really think about it.

You're not alone…

…that's why we've invited a special guest to help us all discover some practical ways to create healthy habits and protect our kids in this area — without becoming tech wizards!

Rob Hayes-St.Clair is the Director of Generosity for JH Everlasting Adventures and every year speaks to young adult and adult audiences on the topics of life purpose, relationships, and leadership. A former real-estate developer, he now invests his time in building young leaders and healthy families through JH Ranch in the US, New Zealand, and Australia. Rob lives in San Diego with his wife of 15 years, Edith, and their three children, Charlie, Izzy, and Pierce.

In his work with families over the years, Rob has identified "5 Key Ingredients" to help us navigate the challenging waters of the tech world. This is going to be a great episode for every family — blended or not!

You'll Discover:

The major difference between you and your kids when it comes to technology
Why tech can be so addicting — for kids and adults!
How to create some simple new tech habits in your home
The mindset you need to remember if your kid's tech was purchased by an Ex
The truth about how your training and encouragement impacts your kids

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 20: 4 Big Myths About Parenting When an Ex has Different Rules
Connect with Rob at: JH Ranch | Everlasting Adventure
Book Suggestion: The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

69. How to "Blend" Your Holiday Traditions in a Practical Way

8 december 2020 | 44 min

We all want to enjoy the holiday season with our family — without experiencing tension, disappointment or conflict.

Managing all the complexities of blended families can be overwhelming around the holidays. You're merging two family cultures with different ideas about how the holiday season should look…

…kids might be looking forward to experiencing past family traditions that are still meaningful to them. On the other hand, adults are focused on creating a whole new experience around holiday festivities.

This can lead to unmet expectations, hurt feelings and disconnection — which is the opposite of what you really want FOR your family.

In this episode, you'll discover how to honor the history of your kids, while creating new traditions and a shared history that's practical and meaningful to everyone — without getting overwhelmed!

You'll Discover:

A healthy mindset to reduce anxiety and pressure
A practical framework to use while making decisions around holiday traditions and activities
Why it's important to honor the history and preferences of each family member
How to let go of unrealistic expectations
Creative ways to start some meaningful, new family traditions

Resources from this Episode:

For Fun, Festive Activities, Ideas and Traditions: imom website
Episode 10: 8 Practical Tips for a Successful Holiday Season
Blog Article: Are you Already Dreading Holiday Scheduling with your Ex?
Blog Article: Blended Family Holiday Blues: 3 Tips for When You're Missing Your Kids
Blog Article: How to Protect Your Stepfamily from Favoritism
Episode 12: 4 Meaningful Mindsets for Budgeting Your Happy Holiday
Nick Wignall's Article: 5 Mental Habits Sabotaging Your Happiness

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

68. How to Thrive while Coping with the Impact of COVID-19

1 december 2020 | 41 min

For most blended families, tensions are highest when everyone is together.

Why is that important to know right now?

Because so many are currently working from home, our kids are schooling from home due to the COVID-19 pandemic — and everyone is together almost all of the time!

Our normal activities and routines have been disrupted and we're spending more time all together than ever before…

…which most often creates higher levels of tension and increased conflict for those of us living in blended families.

One of our listeners recently reached out and said, "Please talk about navigating the impact of COVID-19 on the show…" She was looking for sound advice on how to cope with all the blended family challenges during this difficult season.

So, we're diving into it in this episode! We've put together a practical framework with tips and strategies that every blended family can use to THRIVE as they face the realities of COVID-19!

Plus, over on the website, we've curated a virtual library of resources to help you take some next steps in the area your family might be personally struggling with most right now...

Just click this link to head over and check it out: https://support.mikeandkimcoaching.com/podcast/068

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know

24 november 2020 | 44 min

Every parent wants to create a heathy environment for their kids as they move between homes, but conflict between parents does just the opposite — and the results can be detrimental.

Even if your Ex treats you with contempt and seems to oppose everything you say or do…

…you don't have to lose hope or give up on trying to improve co-parenting interactions.

In this episode we'll share a simple strategy and practical tools to help you show up in a way that can make a real difference in your co-parenting relationship.

You can experience better communication and even more peace — even if your Ex doesn't change a thing. And you already know that ultimately it's your kids who will benefit most!

You'll Discover:

Why cooperative co-parenting is important for your kids well-being
How you can promote effective communication and break unproductive cycles in your co-parenting relationships
How to refrain from retaliation by using the 3 C's
A simple tool to remove the barriers of poor communication, misunderstandings and misguided assumptions
How to opt out of opposition and positively influence every co-parenting interaction
A practical strategy that will lead to more peace — for you and your kids

Resources from this Episode:

Schedule a FREE Coaching Call with Mike and Kim
Episode 20 - 4 Big Myths About Parenting When an Ex has Different Rules
Episode 27 - How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships
Episode 31 - 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope with Your Ex
Episode 32 - How to Safeguard Your Kids from Negative Influences
Episode 33 - How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect your Kids
Episode 48 - Introspective Questions that Help You Put Your Kids First - with special guest: Liza Gold
Episode 64 - How to Set Yourself Free by Choosing to Forgive

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

66. Discover the Best Way to Motivate Your Spouse [with Matt and Maria Granados]

17 november 2020 | 44 min

Are you frustrated with your spouse's lack of motivation to get help with you?

You might be surprised to learn that motivation is not a character trait, it's really a state of mind.

And here's the good news — by understanding what actually motivates your spouse, you can discover the best way to approach them and positively encourage forward movement.

In this episode we're interviewing motivation experts, Matt and Maria Granados. Matt and Maria began their journey of helping others build an intentional life during their own dating adventures together — and now six years later, their organization, Life Pulse Inc. has grown to help thousands of individuals and dozens of organizations strategize their daily path to fulfillment.

This dynamic couple shares valuable insights around what they call "The 4 Motivation Catalysts". These catalysts are powerful and can be utilized to empower your spouse (and your kids as well).

Listen in on this fascinating conversation about what works (and what doesn't) when it comes to motivating others toward change. And learn how you can apply Motivation Catalysts as you support your partner in doing something new — without manipulating or nagging.

You'll Discover:

4 Catalysts that spark motivation
A powerful tool to make getting help worth your partner's time, even if they've been resistant
How to connect with your partner's personal values - to give them purpose in moving toward your mutual goals
How to drive your spouse toward positive change, without manipulating
The Do's and Don'ts of using motivation catalysts in your relationship
The difference between 'Being' and 'Telling' — and why it's so important
How to empower your partner (and your kids) by understanding their motivation catalysts

Resources from this Episode:

Matt Granados's book: Motivate the Unmotivated - A Proven System for Sustainable Motivation
Want to connect with Matt & Maria: Life Pulse Inc.
Check out Matt & Mari's podcast: The REALationship Podcast
Take the Motivation Catalyst Assessment

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Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities. Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

65. 6 Simple Steps for Inviting Your Spouse to Get Help With You

10 november 2020 | 41 min

If you're ready to get some help navigating blended family life and explore new ways to improve things in your relationship — but your partner isn't interested…

…this episode is for YOU!

10 years into our marriage, we were not on the same page about getting help. We were facing an unknown future and Mike wanted us to get professional help — but I (Kim) wasn't willing to do anything new.

This was an extremely difficult season for us and we almost didn't make it to the other side.

In this episode, we'll share our story and encourage you to hold onto hope!

We've got 6 practical steps to help you open up communication, create more connection and invite your spouse into a conversation about how you might move forward — TOGETHER!

We'll help you to building a bridge of common goals with your spouse and share what worked for us — and what didn't work!

If you're feeling hopeless about how to approach your spouse about getting practical support — join us to discover how you can move forward!

You'll Discover:

How to initiate a conversation with your spouse that'll help them open up and identify what they really want for your relationship and family
Ways to focus on common ground and goals to begin the process of working together in reaching your goals
How to ask good questions while building a bridge toward those things you both want more of in your relationship (and less of)
How to invite your spouse to explore possibilities for growth - together

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

64. How to Set Yourself Free by Choosing to Forgive

3 november 2020 | 42 min

Blended family dynamics will inevitably create a mine-field of challenging situations and if there's one thing you can expect, it's this…

…you're going to get your feelings hurt and sustain some emotional wounds!

That's why it's so important to understand the art and science of forgiveness.

Whether it's a rude step-child or a toxic Ex — or even your current spouse, choosing to forgive someone doesn't mean you're just letting the other person off the hook.

Forgiveness is about releasing yourself from pain — and not allowing anger and resentment to remain rooted in that relationship.

However, the process of forgiveness isn't easy. It takes intentional effort to move beyond anger, manage your memories and get to a realistic place of acceptance.

We know just how challenging this process can be, because we've had to work through it ourselves.

We eventually discovered healthy ways to let go of old (and newer) grudges so they didn't negatively impact how we showed up for our family.

Listen in on this episode to hear our real-life examples and why forgiveness is absolutely crucial if you want to move forward and truly thrive in your blended family.

You'll Discover:

How to free yourself from the heavy burden of a grudge — and experience more peace
Practical and healthy ways to handle anger and painful memories
The surprising truth about acceptance
What forgiveness is…and what it isn't
How to hold others accountable for wrongdoing and set healthy boundaries

Resources from this Episode:

Nick Wignall's Article: The Psychology of Forgiveness: 7 Lessons on How to Finally Let Go and Forgive Someone
Episode 27: How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships
Laura Petherbridge's Article: Forgiveness What it is…What it isn't
Episode 40: Uncover the unspoken feeling of kids in blended families
Episode 45: How to Cooperate More with Your Spouse's Uncooperative Ex
Episode 44: Why does my Husband's Ex Think I'm the Enemy?

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community - for as little as $4 per month. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

63. 5 Strategies to Help You Get United — Even When You Disagree

27 oktober 2020 | 49 min

What's the key to overcoming parent-child allegiances?

In a word — it's UNITY!

Over the previous several episodes we've talked about some of the emotional barriers that bio-parents often experience. We also covered those "easy wrong turns" that stepparents tend to make while navigating a parent-child allegiance.

As you're working through your own emotions and mindsets, you'll also need to intentionally build unity so that you can become effective parenting partners and work as a team.

In this episode, we share five powerful strategies that will help you to get on the same page as you lead your family forward — together! These strategies will reduce parent-child allegiances and keep the two of you connected, even when you don't agree.

You'll Discover:

5 Effective Strategies to become more united as a couple and reduce parent-child allegiances
Why a long list of "House Rules" often leads to disagreement and disconnection
How to prioritize what's most important and lead your family in the right direction — together
Why "connecting in conflict" is so important and how to do that well
Discover a significant first step toward providing a foundation of growth in your home — including how you manage parenting

Resources from this Episode:

Blog: How to Start Transforming Your Blended Family's Future (Part 1)
Blog: How to Implement a Simple 'Code of Conduct in Your Home (Part 2)
Online Workshop: Stepfamilies that Make It!
Episode 9: A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Learn more about our Relate Strong Coaching Program by scheduling a FREE consultation with us
Episode 51: Overcoming Discouragement (Part 1)
Book: The Smart Stepfamily Marriage
Want to check out Ron Deal's article? Click here: Placing Your Spouse in the Front Seat of Your Heart

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

62. How to Partner Well as a Stepparent — Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 2)

20 oktober 2020 | 32 min

This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the "easy wrong turns" many stepparents make when they're frustrated with feeling stuck on the outside of a parent-child allegiance (between their spouse and his or her kids).

If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 61 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll dive into a few more of the "easy wrong turns" and why they won't help you build the unity you're looking for.

Then, next week, we'll be wrapping up this series with some practical tips that can help both of you work together and overcome a parent-child allegiance and experience more unity and teamwork as a couple.

You'll Discover:

How empathy and understanding can go a long way when your partner is feeling stuck between "choosing" you or "choosing" their kids
Why a butter dish caused Mike to get so angry
How acknowledging the little wins along the way can make a big difference for everyone

Resources from this Episode:

Episodes 61
Episode 14: 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments
Episode 46: How to Focus When Your Step-Kids Are Ruining Your Marriage
Episode 47: How to Like Your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

61. How to Partner Well as a Stepparent — Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 1)

13 oktober 2020 | 33 min

Stepparents, you want to be a part of the team — in your marriage and in your family.

But it can often feel like you're stuck on the outside of the "allegiance" that's formed between your spouse and his or her kids.

That's when the frustration, hurt or anger sets in and you end up in the danger zone of allowing "easy wrong turns" to dictate your attitude. It's these easy wrong turns that actually rob you of the teamwork and unity you're actually looking for.

And there are some simple things you can do to positively influence that parent-child allegiance happening between your spouse and their kids. And each one starts with making sure your mindset is in the right place.

I (Mike) know how hard this can be, and over time, I discovered that my mindset and attitude was keeping me stuck. And when I tweaked my perspectives just a little bit, I started showing up better and Kim actually started to respond to me differently.

If you can relate to any of this, I can't wait for you to join us for the next couple of episodes! Why? Because we're going to share the most critical shifts I had to make in my mindset over the years — and we've seen these same mindset shifts help the stepparents we've coached to experience the teamwork they've been looking for all along.

Don't wait — let's dive into the episode…

You'll Discover:

How unrealistic expectations can force your partner into feeling like they have to choose between you and their kids
The difference between labeling behavior and labeling character — and why getting it wrong leaves you feeling hopeless
How easy it is for stepparents to jump into an authoritarian parenting-style and why it doesn’t work

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 26: Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step Kids?
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Blog: What's the Best Way to Blend and Build Family Bonds
Episode 40: Uncover the Unspoken Feelings of Kids in Blended Families
Episode 37: Why do Kids Struggle to Accept their Stepparent?
Episode 4: Can You Overcome Your Parenting Style Differences?
Blog: How to Parent as a Team and Steer Clear of Power Struggles

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big oppo

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

60. Why are you stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance? (Part 2)

6 oktober 2020 | 34 min

This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the challenging emotional barriers many bio-parents face in blended families. Often these barriers lead to a dynamic called a parent-child allegiance.

If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 59 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll talk about moving beyond those barriers and breaking free of parent-child allegiances.

And in the coming weeks, keep an eye out for our upcoming discussion around the 'easy wrong turns' that step-parents can make in this challenging dynamic — plus some practical steps that can help both of you work together and overcome a parent-child allegiance.

In This Episode You'll Discover:

Two motivating factors that helped Kim move beyond guilt and fear
How authoritative skill building can boost confidence to help overcome parental insecurities — and reclaim parental authority
The importance of courageously taking short-term risks that'll result in long-term benefits
The problem with comparing and ranking "Love" - and how to handle it well
Practical steps to identify and capture emotional barriers and move forward

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 49: Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
BOOK: The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal
Blog: How to Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Blog: Two Simple Steps to Move Past Paralyzed Parenting
BOOK: Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay
Online Resources, Classes & Webinars: Parenting with Love & Logic
Episode 4: Can you overcome your parenting-style differences?
Blog: How to Parent as a Team and Steer Clear of Power Struggles

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

59. Why are you stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance? (Part 1)

29 september 2020 | 27 min

"Things are so great between us…until the kids are around! Then there's just a ton of tension and we end up arguing about everything!"

We've heard this from countless step couples over the years. It isn't surprising because stepfamily structure puts couples on opposite ends of an experiential divide — leaving us feeling frustrated and maybe even hopeless.

But here's what we've discovered…

…at the root of stepfamily structure are relationships that have been reordered. This leads to a dynamic called a parent-child allegiance — which puts the marital relationship on the "back burner" and robs us of the unity we really want.

Sometimes it can feel like the kids have all the power and control. The bio-parent feels stuck between their spouse and their kids — trying to maintain parental authority, but feeling like they can't please anyone. Step-parents inevitably feel excluded, unheard and devalued — stuck on the outside.

A parent-child allegiance will eventually drive a wedge of confusion, resentment, anger and disconnection between spouses. If it continues, the marriage will never be elevated and recognized as the relational foundation of the home (where it really needs to be for the family to thrive).

But, what if you could move beyond long-standing parent-child allegiances and get united as a team around parenting? What if you could maintain stability for the kids AND elevate the status of your marriage at the same time?

The truth is, YOU CAN!

And the first step is to understand and overcome the emotional barriers that stand in the way. These barriers are most likely keeping you stuck in unhealthy parenting patterns that typically lead to marital conflict

This is a BIG topic…so big that we'll be taking a deep dive over the next several episodes to help you identify the barriers that might be holding you back and offer practical support for both bio and step parents!

In this episode, you'll hear the first half of our conversation about the challenges bio-parents often face when they're stuck in a parent-child allegiance. We'll share the rest of the conversation in the next episode.

After that, keep an eye out for our discussion around the step-parent's barriers — plus some practical steps that can help you both overcome all these challenges.

You'll Discover in Part 1:

Common parenting patterns that create a parent-child allegiance
How to begin reversing parent-child allegiances by understanding the emotional barriers of the bio-parent
Kim's struggle with the barriers of guilt and fear — which dictated parenting decisions and weakened her parental authority

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 49: Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
BOOK: The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal
Blog: Two Simple Steps to Move Past Paralyzed Parenting

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click h

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

58. Day 5 of Your 'Next Step' Challenge — Work Your Plan

26 september 2020 | 21 min

57. Day 4 of Your 'Next Step' Challenge — Overcome Your Obstacles

25 september 2020 | 21 min

56. Day 3 of Your 'Next Step' Challenge — Chart Your Course

24 september 2020 | 21 min

55. Day 2 of Your 'Next Step' Challenge — Choose Your Path

23 september 2020 | 15 min

It's day 2 of Your Next Step Challenge!

Yesterday we kicked off the challenge with step 1 — 'Find Your Focus'. Now that you've taken that step to select one area of blended family life that you'd like to focus on…that area where you most need to grow and development — it's time to take the next step!

Today's challenge is to 'Choose Your Path'! You'll identify your most effective learning style and then consider how you can make this season of development a priority.

We know how crazy busy family life can be. It can feel overwhelming — and that's why we're making it simple for you to begin a new process of development and growth.

So, to keep you moving forward, today's step well help you choose the best path — one that's realistic, inspiring and leads to something new in your blended family!

Plus, we've got a free downloadable cheat sheet to help you take this step. Just CLICK HERE to get your copy.

You'll Discover:

Identifying your most effective learning style
The importance of making space for what matters most
Day 2 Challenge: Choose Your Path
Helpful resources that offer valuable information, tips and guidance

Resources from this Episode:

Download your copy of the Choose Your Path cheat sheet
Episode 52: Overcoming Discouragement (Part 2)
Want to schedule a Free Blended Family Coaching session? CLICK HERE

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

54. Day 1 of Your 'Next Step' Challenge — Find Your Focus

22 september 2020 | 21 min

You've probably got great intentions for your blended family. You want to gain understanding and discover new skills that will help you "do things right"

But chances are, when you realize how much there is to learn you might get overwhelmed — especially when you hit those inevitable bumps in the road that create setbacks and leave you feeling disappointed and discouraged.

And all that overwhelm, disappointment and discouragement robs you of something…

…it robs you of your hope.

We know what it's like to feel hopeless in our marriage and family life. We also know what it takes to gain our hope back — it's all about taking one little intentional step at a time.

That's what the next several days here on the podcast are going to be about — reclaiming your hope!

So, in this episode we're kicking off your NEXT STEPS CHALLENGE!

We're going to help you overcome discouragement, take real action and move your family forward!

Whether you've been struggling for a while or even if things are going relatively well (but you want to step it up a bit) — this challenge is for you!

In this challenge, we'll be walking alongside you with simple and doable steps. These steps will help get you started so that you can move beyond your current challenge — and we'll even be taking the challenge along with you!

To get started, listen in and discover the first step of the challenge (it's super simple). Then, stay tuned over the next several days if you've got the courage to meet the challenge and do something new in your blended family…

…we know you do and we're excited to join you!

You'll Discover:

How to turn insight into action so that you can experience real change in your blended family
Specific attitudes that'll help you make progress and reach your goals
How to 'Find Your Focus' using our 5 Focus Framework:
1. Bonding
2. Understanding Kid's Perspectives
3. Marriage / Partnership
4. Parenting and Discipline
5. Co-Parenting with an Ex

Resources from this Episode:

Episodes 51: Overcoming Discouragement (Part 1)
Episode 2: The 5-Focus Framework that Simplifies Blended Family Life

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

53. Overcoming Discouragement (Part 3)

15 september 2020 | 55 min

We all start out with high hopes, big dreams and some expectations about what our blended family life will be like — and they seem very reasonable….

…until everyone's living under the same roof!

Once our families merge, we begin to realize just how difficult (and different) things are. That's when disappointment sets in leaving us vulnerable to getting stuck in discouragement.

In this episode, we'll explore some unhealthy ways most of us tend to cope with disappointment. Then we'll share a simple skill to help you steer clear from the trap of discouragement.

You'll love hearing from our clients Dan & Renee who started out with awesome expectations that seemed reasonable — but as they experienced just the opposite of what they'd hoped for, they became discouraged.

But Dan & Renee didn't stay stuck! They were able to replace their unrealistic narratives and limiting beliefs with more realistic expectations by managing their mindsets.

As a result, they've experienced more clarity, confidence and connection — and more peace in their home too.

We're certain you'll connect with their story and discover some positive, new approaches to overcoming those times when you're feeling stuck in discouragement too.

On a different note…do you know someone who's discouraged in their dating life? Then you'll have an extra bonus when you discover that Renee can help them out…

Renee Suzanne is a coach who helps women find true love by teaching them to date effectively. She's been featured in The Huffington Post, Glamour, and Tiny Buddha. Her books, Beloved — How to go from Relationship Challenged to Relationship Ready and Ten Things You Can do to Upgrade Your Love Life are available on Amazon. She also has over 200 inspiring videos on her YouTube channel. If you have a friend that could use Renee's help, check out: http://www.reneesuzannecoaching.com/

Okay…you don't want to miss this episode where you'll discover:

How Dan & Renee learned to readjust their expectations and develop healthy mindsets
The unhealthy and unproductive ways we tend to cope with disappointment
Tips for managing your mindset and releasing unrealistic expectations
How you can join us in Your Next Step CHALLENGE

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want
Episode 14: 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments
Get $100 off coaching, just use the coupon code EPISODE50 at check out when you click here to register — this offer expires on October 1st, 2020

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

52. Overcoming Discouragement (Part 2)

8 september 2020 | 50 min

It takes a lot of energy and effort to make a blended family work…

…and when we don't see the results we want, we can get stuck in discouragement.

In this episode we'll be talking with our clients Jake and Whitney who have experienced their fair share of disappointment and discouragement.

Jake and Whitney describe feeling "Hopeless, Defeated and Angry"…but they didn't allow themselves to get stuck there. They've consistently devoted themselves to their development — both individually and as a couple. Their hard work and intentional investment has made all the difference in their marriage and blended family!

You'll laugh, you'll cry and you'll relate to Jake and Whitney's story of struggle. Plus, you'll discover ways that you can thrive by following their examples!

Not only will Jake and Whitney encourage you in this episode, but they also might be able to help you take a next step in life…you see, they are a life coaching team who will equip you to live steadfast, through freedom, so you can impact your world. If that sounds good to you, then check out how you might partner with them at https://www.steadfastlifecoaching.com/

Alright…grab some headphones and listen in to discover powerful strategies for stepfamily success and how you can move beyond discouragement to experience big wins too.

You'll Discover:

One Couple's story - from feeling "Hopeless, Defeated and Angry" to experiencing big wins in their blended family
Why continuous development - both individually and as a couple - is critical to stepfamily success
How to reach your family's 'Desired Destinations'

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 51: Overcoming Discouragement (Part 1)
Want to connect with Jake & Whitney to see how they might help you achieve the healthy lifestyle goals you're looking for? Just click this link: Steadfast Life Coaching
Get $100 off our communication coaching (Relate Strong), just use the coupon code EPISODE50 at check out when you click here to register — but don't wait, this offer expires on October 1st, 2020

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community toda

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

51. Overcoming Discouragement (Part 1)

1 september 2020 | 39 min

It's common for blended family couples to get stuck in discouragement when they've experienced challenging setbacks and feel like they've failed over and over.

We've been there and we'll share the most difficult season of our marriage — when we were both so discouraged that we almost called it quits! Thankfully, we learned how to break free from discouragement — and you can too.

Listen in to this first episode in a 3-part series and discover a simple, yet effective communication tool that'll help you learn from painful setbacks so that you can keep moving forward together…

…and not get stuck in discouragement!

We want to encourage you and pass on what we've learned about moving beyond discouragement and growing more connection as a couple.

You'll Discover:

Our season of discouragement that almost ended our marriage
How couples get stuck in cycles of discouragement
A new mindset around setbacks and failure
A practical communication tool for new insight and growth
How to use setbacks as learning opportunities

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What you Really Want
Get $100 off communication coaching, just use the coupon code EPISODE50 at check out when you click here to register — but don't wait, this offer expires on October 1st, 2020

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

50. How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want

25 augusti 2020 | 45 min

One of the biggest challenges we've faced as a couple has been learning how to openly communicate — especially when we don't agree.

Mike tends to raise his voice, criticize and make demands. I tend to disconnect and hold my tongue even when there's something I really should be communicating.

We spent years stuck in painful cycles of conflict, misunderstanding and confusion. Thankfully, healthy communication is a skill we have intentionally developed — and it's made a HUGE difference in our ability to resolve conflict and deeply connect.

In this week's episode we'll uncover the four common styles of communication and help you develop the skill of clear, honest and more assertive communication so you can speak your truth, truly be heard and connect more with your spouse.

We also have a special gift for you that we'll share about in this — our 50th — episode! Some couples will take the tips in this episode and make meaningful progress…but others might need some support in exactly how to break free from painful cycles of unresolved conflict and disconnection. If that's you, we can help!

You probably want to feel connected to your partner — even when there's conflict. We can coach you how to develop effective communication - and to celebrate our 50th episode, we're going to knock $100 off as a gift to you!

All you need to do is use the coupon code EPISODE50 at checkout when you click this link to register. But don't wait because this offer only lasts until October 1st, 2020.

You'll Discover:

The four primary styles of communication (we're always using at least one)
The best way to honestly communicate and create more connection
Common roadblocks to effective communication and practical ways to overcome them
10 tips to becoming more assertive, speak your truth and be heard

Resources from this Episode:

Nick Wignall's Article: Assertiveness: A step by step guide to becoming more assertive
BLOG: How to Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Episode 35: Are You Controlling Conflict or is it Controlling You?
Episode 27: How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships
Get $100 off communication coaching - use the coupon code EPISODE50 at check out when you click here to register — offer expires on October 1st, 2020

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

Consider joining our Patreon community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to j

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

49. Should your highest priority be your marriage — or your kids?

18 augusti 2020 | 38 min

The question we're often asked is this: Should my highest priority be my marriage or my kids?

If you're a bio-parent, you might be concerned about making sure that your kids are feeling secure and cared for — they've always been your priority and maybe you're wondering why that should change.

And if you're a step-parent, you probably entered into marriage thinking that you'd be at the top of your spouse's priority list and that you'd have a say in all the family's decisions.

This is exactly where we started out in our marriage and it didn't take long for both of us to experience frustration, confusion and even anger!

Whenever I had to choose between what Mike wanted and what my daughter Annika wanted — it felt like I could never win. Either Mike was going to feel like an outsider, or Annika was going to feel rejected.

But I discovered that choosing between them wasn't actually a choice I had to make…we found a different approach!

This is a big topic that's always complicated and sometimes controversial. In this episode we'll uncover the realities around why 'priority issues' are so tough for blended families.

We'll also share how you can work as a united team to position your marriage as the foundation of your home while making sure the kids are getting everything they need to thrive.

You'll Discover:

How 'Relational Imbalance' impacts blended family priorities
Two opposite approaches to prioritizing that lead to disconnection and pain
Two big realities that blended family couples need to be aware of
How to work as a team to rebalance relationships, elevate your marriage and maintain stability for the kids

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 24 — What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
Blog Article: How to Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
Blog Article: Parent-Child Allegiances
Want to check out Ron Deal's article? Click here: Placing Your Spouse in the Front Seat of Your Heart

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question:

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the podcast? Let us know!

We've made it easy…just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too.

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

48. Introspective Questions that Help You Put Your Kids First [with Liza Gold]

11 augusti 2020 | 35 min

Do you ever wonder what it might be like for your kids — moving back and forth between two homes?

Whether your kids are moving between two allies or between two "countries at war", there's likely to be some tension.

Reducing that tension is really up to the adults…and that starts with you.

In this episode, we've got a very special guest who knows what it's like to move back and forth between mom and dad's house — because that was a big part of her story.

Now, she's drawing on that experience and understanding — combined with her professional training — to help others work through their own hurts and hang-ups.

You won't want to miss this episode with our friend, Liza Gold!

Liza Gold is a psychotherapist with a private practice in New York City. She earned her graduate degree from Columbia University. Over the past six years, Liza gained clinical experience and pursued rigorous post-graduate training in various clinical modalities including Psychodynamic, Cognitive-Behavioral, and Dialectical-Behavioral therapy. Finally, Liza is in the process of writing a clinical textbook.

We'll chat with Liza a little about her early life experience and then we'll draw on her professional knowledge to help parents and step-parents consider some important questions that might lead to better cooperation across the households - and less stress for your kids.

We hope you enjoy this conversation with Liza!

You'll Discover:

What it might be like for kids when there's tension between their two homes
How kids feel when they're stuck in a Loyalty Bind
Important questions that bio-parents can consider to help them create more cooperation with the other home
Important questions for a step-parent to consider how they're supporting their step-kids

Resources from this Episode:

Want to connect with Liza? Click this link to find out how: https://www.goldtherapynyc.com/
Here are some related episodes:
- Episode 29: What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
- Episode 44: Why Does My Husband's Ex Think I'm the Enemy?
- Episode 45: How to Cooperate More with Your Spouse's Uncooperative Ex

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question:

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the podcast? Let us know!

We've made it easy…just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts so you don't miss anything...

…and if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

47. How to Like Your Stepchild Even When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed

4 augusti 2020 | 44 min

It's uncomfortable for any stepparent to admit they don't like their own step-child. But faking, avoiding or trying to grit your way through doesn't seem to help much.

Mike has fessed up over the years about the times he struggled to connect with my daughter Annika. Their personalities are very different and he didn't always agree with my approach to parenting — which really meant that he disliked her behavior.

That sometimes lead to frustration and irritation and he didn't really enjoy being around her that much. When those moments hit, he just didn't like her!

There can be many reasons why a stepparent might feel frustrated with their step-child. Especially if that child is struggling themselves. Kids can seem to be overly needy, manipulative or even destructive at times and that's tough for stepparents to handle.

And while this might seem like one more situation you don't have any control over as a stepparent — there are some positive and productive things you CAN do regardless of how your spouse and their children behave.

In this episode, discover how Mike adjusted his perspective and gained more empathy and understanding…and experience more fun with Annika.

You'll Discover:

Mike's personal struggle with negative thoughts and emotions around Annika (Kim's daughter)
A new perspective about your stepchild's 'personhood' vs. their 'position'
How to build more empathy for a stepchild that's negatively impacting your life and causing frustration
3 strategies that helped Mike to move beyond his dislike to create more connection with Annika

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 44 — Why Does My Husband's Ex Think I'm the Enemy?
Episode 26 — Are You Stuck In A "Competition" With Your Step-Kids?
Want to suggest a topic or ask a question that we can answer on the show? Click this link to share with us: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

46. How to Focus When Your Stepkids Are Ruining Your Marriage

28 juli 2020 | 30 min

Do you ever think back to when you and your spouse just started dating? You know — when you felt really connected and things seemed so much easier.

But now the reality of busy family life seems to interfere with your marriage, creating disconnection and maybe even conflict. You're probably frustrated by all the relational challenges — especially around step-kids and parenting issues.

It's tough for any stepparent to admit it, but sometimes they really do feel like their step-kids are ruining their marriage.

We get it!

Mike has experienced plenty of frustration and even anger because of the impact my daughter has had on our relationship over the years.

Sometimes it's easy to place blame and get stuck there. But that usually leaves you feeling hopeless because it seems like your step-kids have all the power!

In this episode, you'll discover some practical strategies to regain your power by moving forward with intention — and how to get your marriage back on track!

You'll Discover:

How to stop blaming and start building
How to "Frame It" rather than "Fight It"
Simple strategies to meet the needs of everyone in your blended family
How to separate family 'business' and focus on building more romance
Practical tips for connecting and safeguarding your marriage

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

45. How to Cooperate More with Your Spouse's Uncooperative Ex

21 juli 2020 | 43 min

As a stepmom, you probably want to experience reasonable cooperation with your husband's Ex-wife. You want to work as a team for the benefit of the kids. And you might be feeling frustrated if this seems to be impossible — especially when she refuses to acknowledge you or freaks out about your involvement with the kids.

You might feel like you're being unfairly judged. Maybe you're even tempted to lash out. But these emotionally charged dynamics are something to move through — not fight against.

If you're ready to reduce some of that frustration and build healthier connection and cooperation with your husband's Ex — we've got some good news!

In this episode, you'll discover how you can intentionally build more cooperation between the two homes by improving your relationship with your step-kids' bio-mom…

Yes, it CAN be done!

You'll Discover:

How to show up well in emotionally charged situations
Specific ways to connect with your spouse's Ex
How to manage expectations and boundaries
How to avoid pitfalls and maintain your unique role
The 'Big Picture' mindset and how to take the high road
How to remain secure and confident through the ups and downs

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 44 — Why Does My Husband's Ex Think I'm the Enemy?
Episode 8 — Toxic Exes & Defiant Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
Episode 17 — 6 Simple Steps that will Help You Respond to Disrespect

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

44. Why does my husband's Ex think I'm the enemy?

14 juli 2020 | 28 min

Stepparents — we're betting you came into your blended family with the BEST intentions. You want to thoughtfully care for your step-kid(s) and bring value as you lovingly support then — and your spouse. You really want to contribute good things to their lives!

But does it feel like all the good things you do seem to get overlooked by your spouse's Ex? Are you often the target of harsh criticism?

…or, have they even gone so far as to try and turn the kids against you?

It's hurtful and confusing when a stepparent is unfairly scrutinized and deemed unacceptable by the Ex in the other home — especially when the Ex has remarried and supports the kids attachment to their new spouse (the other stepparent).

In this episode we'll explore the possible reasons why your spouse's Ex thinks you're the enemy — even though they haven't given you a fair shake.

Discerning what's under the surface in these complex dynamics will help you to move forward wisely with more confidence and compassion.

You'll Discover:

What causes a double-standard mentality between the Ex's
How an Ex's emotions might create animosity toward the stepparent in the other home
Why your spouse's Ex is threatened by your "position".
How a curiosity mindset can help to ease tensions
Understand the anxieties bio-mom might face that can trigger protective behaviors with the kids

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 31 — 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope With Your Ex
Want to find out more about those "Milestone Mishaps"? Click here to join our Patreon Community…

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

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Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

43. How to Build More Consistency For Your Kids

7 juli 2020 | 33 min

Wouldn't it be awesome for your kids to experience lots of consistency between their two homes?

It can feel overwhelming (sometimes impossible) to try and make that happen when you're kids are moving back and forth. Some co-parents are able to work together and establish matching ideals and expectations for the kids — but more often than not, this isn't the case.

When there's different values and priorities, disagreement and conflict between you and your Ex can escalate. That makes creating consistency really complicated. Usually this situation builds more stress and less stability for the kids. But it doesn't have to be this way.

In this episode we'll explore how to maintain stability for your kids and work towards consistency between homes — even if you and your Ex aren't on the same page.

And we mentioned in the episode that we would love to help you make this happen in your family. To find out how, just click here to schedule a free coaching call with us.

You'll Discover:

The #1 key to building consistency — even when there's disagreement between the homes
The benefits of focusing on common ground
The importance of setting the standard in your own home
How to maintain realistic expectations of the other home

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 20 — 4 Big Myths About Parenting When An Ex Has Different Rules
Episode 42 — Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation — and 6 Tips for You
Want to schedule your free coaching call? Click Here

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

42. Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation — and 6 Tips For You

30 juni 2020 | 38 min

Everyone knows how important it is for kids to have a meaningful relationship with both of their parents — and it's best when they can freely enjoy time in each home.

And when one parent tries to distance the kids from the other parent, it can be tragic. The attempt one parent might make to intentionally and systematically distance a child from their other parent has a name — it's called Parental Alienation.

We personally know the heartache that comes with Parental Alienation. At one point in our journey, my Ex systematically disrupted my daughter's contact with our family through emotional manipulation…and it was gut wrenching.

Awareness and proactivity are key to protecting your family from the pain of parental alienation. That's what we'll be talking about in this episode. Join us as we share our personal story of this difficult battle and we'll give you 6 tips that we've discovered over the years.

You'll Discover:

What Parental Alienation is — and what it's NOT
The warning signs that you might be at risk of parental alienation
Our personal story with Parental Alienation — what we've learned and what we could've done better
6 tips to help you evaluate your current situation and proactively protect your kids, your parental rights and your marriage

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 33 — How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids
Episode 41 — Are you unintentionally putting your kids in the middle?
Episode 7 — Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids — 5 Steps that Help
Episode 8 — Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids — A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
Book by Dr. Richard Warshak: Divorce Poison
If you have adult kids you've been alienated from: Ryan Thomas

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

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Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

41. Are you unintentionally putting your kids in the middle?

23 juni 2020 | 37 min

You want your kids to experience freedom from stress and concern as they move between their two homes. You want them to be able to love both of their parents — without feeling like there are strings attached.

To make sure that's what your kids experience, you're probably very careful about the way you talk about your Ex when the kids are around…

…but are you sure you're not unintentionally putting them in the middle, even in subtle ways?

It can be tough to know when and what to say about an Ex when your kids are around. You can't read their mind or really understand how they're internalizing a conversation - or how they'll respond to your emotional reactions.

And most of us make some common unintentional mistakes — even when we have the best of intentions.

That's what this episode is all about. We'll help you understand 2 of the most common conversational mistakes we can make that unintentionally puts kids into a bind called a Parental Allegiance.

And we'll help you think through how these mistakes might be present in your home.

You'll Discover:

What it's like for kids who are stuck in a Parental Allegiance
Why a Parental Allegiance bind is harmful to your kids and your relationship with them
The 2 unintentional mistakes parents and step-parents can make that feed into a Parental Allegiance
4 Questions you can ask yourself to determine if you're inadvertently creating a parental allegiance for your kids.

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 29 — What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
Episode 6 — Are Your Kids Stuck in a 'Parental Allegiance' and What Can You Do About It?
Episode 7 — Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps That Help
Episode 8 — Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
We referenced this article while discussing Parentification: Your Child is not your Confidant

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community toda

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

40. Uncover the unspoken feelings of kids in blended families [Special Resource: In Their Shoes]

16 juni 2020 | 43 min

Have you ever been confused by your kids or step-kids?

Maybe it feels like they just don't like their step-parent. Maybe they give the silent treatment or cop an attitude. You want to be understanding, but it's just so frustrating!

Part of that frustration might actually be misunderstanding. It's hard for your kids to see life from your perspective — and the opposite is true too. It can be challenging to put ourselves in our kid's shoes.

That's where Lauren Reitsema comes in and we're sharing about her book In Their Shoes in this episode.

Lauren is a child of divorce and became a step-child after both her parents remarried. Through her profession in communication as well as her personal experience growing up in a blended family, Lauren is able to uncover the unspoken feelings of children living in a blended family dynamic.

We'll be highlighting one concept from the book called 'Step-Parentification', which is an easy pitfall we can inadvertently fall into. We'll explore how to avoid this unproductive approach with our kids and offer Lauren's practical tips for stepparents to thrive, even while feeling rejected, hurt and disappointed.

Seeing things from your kids perspective can make a big difference in your blended family. True understanding will impact your kid's well-being and also help you to feel more grounded — even when things seem to be taking a downward spiral.

You'll Discover:

Why it's important to look at the kid's 'bigger story', not just their behavior
Why step-kids can seem insensitive and self-centered
Why a step-parent's attempts to acknowledge a step-child often goes unreciprocated
What is 'step-parentification' and how does it negatively impact the kids
3 healthy ways for stepparents to manage their own hurts and emotions
Why Lauren's book 'In Their Shoes' is a must-read resource for you

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 39 — How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
Episode 37 — Why do Kids Struggle to Accept Their Stepparent?
Episode 34 — How to Avoid Mother's Day Disappointment
Get the Book: In Their Shoes: Helping Parents Better Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

39. How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids

9 juni 2020 | 36 min

You want to be connected to your step-kids. You want to experience that bond you had hoped for early on. The bond you knew would take some work, but now seems impossible to experience…

…now there seems to be a wall that's standing between you and the step-kids you love. That wall is robbing you of the connection you really want.

Sure, you understand that many of the bricks that built that wall originated from your step-child's resistance to you. But you also know there's more to the story than just a stubborn kid.

You know there's got to be a way to dismantle the wall, but most of what you've tried doesn't seem to be working.

I remember feeling that way with my step-daughter. We started out so great, but several years into our blended family journey the wall seemed to get built almost overnight.

At times I felt hopeless. Some days the wall seemed insurmountable. But as I kept at it — trying new ways of removing bricks and creating connection, Kim and I finally found some strategies that worked.

We shared these strategies with some other step-couples we knew and found that they were making progress on dismantling the walls in their blended family too!

We're sharing a handful of those strategies in this episode.

Don't let that wall of resistance keep you from experiencing the bonds you really want with your step-kids. Use these strategies to create an atmosphere in your home that will help connections emerge and strong bonds for the long-run will eventually become your family's reality.

You'll Discover:

How to stop trying to prove yourself to your step-kids
One critical message your step-child needs to hear from you over and over again
How to focus on being an advocate rather than a disciplinarian
Where to focus so that you can take the pressure off yourself (and your family)
What to listen for in order to loosen up the binds kids experience

Resources from this Episode:

We mentioned several different episodes that will help you learn more. Here they are in order of how we mentioned them:

Episode 37 — Why do Kids Struggle to Accept Their Stepparent?
Episode 13 — How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Famliy
Episode 30 — Should Step-Parents Want Authority with Their Step-Kids?
Episode 25 — How to Survive Alone Time with Your Step-Kids
Episode 14 — 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals & Disappointments
Episode 29 — What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?

We also mentioned Lauren Reitsema's book which you can check out here: In Their Shoes

And finally, if you want to join our Patreon community to learn more about the 3 most important messages you need to speak to your step-kids, just click here.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

38. Dealing with Loss & Grief

2 juni 2020 | 5 min

37. Why do kids struggle to accept their stepparent?

26 maj 2020 | 42 min

It feels frustrating and confusing when the kids resist their stepparent.

It seems like no matter how much the stepparent reaches out to connect with the child, they just won't lower their walls — and sometimes those walls seem to be impenetrable!

As adults, we feel like we should be able to figure this out. Bonding shouldn't be this complicated or challenging…should it?

And that's when we start looking for the silver bullet that will fix the problem. We want to turn things around NOW and finally have a little fun together as a family. We need a way to end the relational tension, bad attitudes, and disrespect.

Unfortunately, there's no silver bullet that instantly breaks down those walls and gets a kid to accept their stepparent. (We know…sounds pretty bleak doesn't it?)

But here's the deal, when we understand WHY kids put up those walls in the first place we can begin to help kids dismantle them brick by brick.

To do that, you've got to put yourself in their shoes. When you understand their "why's", then you'll be ready to approach each situation from a place of empathy — which will gradually bring new opportunities for real change.

In this episode, we'll explore 5 of the most common reasons kids struggle to accept a stepparent and you'll discover — from your kid's viewpoint — why resisting you often seems like the safest way they can emotionally cope.

Plus, we've put together this cheat sheet to help you sort out some of the main reasons why your step-child might be resisting you. Download it for free by clicking this link.

You'll Discover:

Five common reasons why kids resist a stepparent
The most crucial step to identify kid's real emotions
What's behind negative attitudes and behaviors
The benefits of empathy in blended family relationships

Resources from this Episode:

We mentioned the book The Smart Stepmom by Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge
Episode 29 — What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
We mentioned this video from Brené Brown on Empathy you might want to check it out

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safeguarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our commu

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

36. How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection [with Mark Warren]

19 maj 2020 | 62 min

Have you ever tried to change a negative emotion? It's not easily done without first understanding where the emotion came from.

When we're feeling hurt, frustrated or unheard by someone we love, it's usually because we've got a negative story about them in our head that's developed over time.

But is the story really the truth about who they are? And how can we correct the story so that we can move beyond those overwhelming emotions to communicate in a way that leads to deeper understanding and positive outcomes?

These are questions our special guest Mark Warren explores with us.

Mark specializes in communication coaching. He has a proven reputation for helping people discover and live out their personal life callings. He has worked with high profile organizations, individuals and couples (click here to check out his full bio). Mark is passionate about what he does, and is committed to helping people identify and live out their Core Wiring.

We love Mark's training maxim which is this: "Learning changes your thinking, practice changes your life."

In this episode, Mark shares some simple things we can all practice that will improve communication and reduce conflict in all our relationships!

You'll Discover:

How to reduce conflict and communicate more effectively
Why the stories in your head threaten your relationships
How CORE and CHORE impact your stories
How to end painful cycles of conflict and miscommunication
The benefits of becoming your own 'Story Detective' and labeling emotions
How to maintain a curiosity mindset and move away from judgement
How to help change the negative stories your kids and step-kids might have about you

Resources from this Episode:

Want to connect with Mark? Just click this link: https://markwarrenassociates.com
Episode 7: Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids — 5 Steps That Help
Episode 8: Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids — A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

35. Are you controlling conflict or is it controlling you?

12 maj 2020 | 25 min

Remember those early days when you were dating? The excitement you felt and the hope you had that this time things were going to be different…

…you were looking forward to experiencing deeper connection in this marriage. You couldn't wait to watch the bonds grow in your new family. Finally, you were on the way to your "happily ever after".

But, only a few months in, all that connection you'd hoped for didn't seem to be happening. Conflict started creeping in. Unexpected conflict that's getting more frequent. Constant conflict that's robbing you of the connection you were confident your family would enjoy.

He's distant and keeps shutting down. She's irritable and everything sets her off.

It leaves you feeling frustrated, lonely and maybe even hopeless. You know your marriage and family should be connected. You're just feeling lost in how to get there.

We know how it feels to live in a home that's plagued by constant conflict. Our blended family was all but torn apart during one of our most difficult seasons several years ago. We're grateful that wasn't the end of our story…

Something we've learned about conflict in our journey — it's never going away. Sounds bleak, doesn't it? It's not.

The real difference between a happy connected home and one that's full of tension and distance isn't the amount of conflict that exists. The real difference is HOW that conflict is handled.

When we learn to handle conflict in a healthy way, everything changes. Even if we don't actually resolve the issue!

Ready to discover how to experience more connection simply by changing the way you handle conflict? That's what this episode is all about…

You'll Discover:

Why your focused on the wrong goal when it comes to conflict
What single focus you need to remind yourself of in every conflict
What to do with the painful emotions that get triggered
How to choose a better response — regardless of what the other person does

Resources from this Episode:

We mentioned you could reach out for a free initial coaching session. You can do that in just a few clicks…here's a link: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/freesession

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

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Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

34. How to Avoid Mother's Day Disappointment

5 maj 2020 | 41 min

There's no way to soften the blow when Mother's Day expectations are crushed. We all want to experience a relaxed, fun-filled day and we all deserve to be honored as moms and stepmoms. But in the context of a blended family, it isn't so simple.

Over the years, we've heard heartbreaking stories of disappointment from stepmoms who've experienced rejection and exclusion on Mother's Day — and they're left to wonder why?

As a bio-mom in a blended family, I've experienced disappointment, frustration and resentment as my daughter's attention was divided on Mother's Day. I wanted it to be all about me, but the other home had their own expectations too.

And what about husbands? They're stuck in the middle and unsure how to respond to their hurting wife, without pressuring the kids.

Mother's Day in a blended family can be uncomfortable and stressful for everyone! What should be a special day of celebrating the women who devote themselves to raising children, often turns into something very different and disappointing.

If you're a stepmom, bio-mom or a husband and you're ready to ditch the disappointment and experience something new, this episode is for you!

Don't miss this chance to prepare yourself (and the entire family) for a better Mother's Day experience…even if you can't change anything about your circumstances!

You'll Discover:

How to let go of unrealistic expectations by redirecting your focus
How empathy and grace can help to relieve tensions
Practical tips for husbands
Communication strategies
How to relieve pressure and help kids honor both step & bio mom

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 29: What is a Loyalty Bind and what can you do about it?
Episode 9: A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids

28 april 2020 | 50 min

We all want to have an easy, peaceful co-parenting relationship with our Ex — mostly because we want to protect our kids and ensure they aren't caught up in drama or conflict.

We don't want to feel like our kids are the ones suffering the consequences of our disagreements with the Ex.

But, when the Ex seems to constantly insist on being difficult no matter the situation, it's exhausting! And if we're really honest with ourselves, their poor behavior starts to tempt us to lash out and retaliate…even though we know that's not the best thing to do.

I know how that feels. I spent way too many years dealing with some of the ugliest accusations and being dragged through the family court system for no good reason.

It took me a long time to discover effective ways to keep the conflict contained (as much as possible) and keep my sanity in the process. And some of what I discovered is what Mike and I are sharing in this episode.

So, if you've been struggling with a particularly difficult Ex, this is the episode for you. We're going to give you some specific strategies and even some scripts you can tweak to fit your unique situation…

…and we've made it really simple for you to access that right here…just click below to grab your free copy of our "Cheat Sheet" that goes along with this episode:

You'll Discover:

How to move beyond unrealistic expectations of your Ex
Key strategies of conflict containment
A healthy mindset to keep you from 'Taking the Bait'
How to use appropriate boundaries around harassment
What to do when negotiations become manipulative and toxic
How to stay calm and secure when painful emotions get triggered
What you can do to protect your kids from harmful conflict

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 027: How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships
We mentioned this blog article: 'Parental Alienation' - A Heartbreak for Unknowing Parents
Episode 007: Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps That Help
Episode 008: Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more a

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

32. How To Safeguard Your Kids From Negative Influences

21 april 2020 | 45 min

Does the Ex seem to be sabotaging your best parenting efforts?

We all have priorities for our kids - a vision for the values, character traits and lifestyle choices we want them to embrace as they grow up. But the influence of our Ex and the other home can sometimes send mixed messages and steer the kids in the opposite direction.

In this episode, we'll focus on how to cope with the differences between your kid's two homes. We'll share an effective strategy to guide your kids toward the values and character traits that are important to you - and keep them from following in unhealthy footsteps.

And better yet…we'll accomplish this without badmouthing or criticizing our Ex or their spouse — and without attempting to control what happens in the other home!

If you're ready to take action and counteract the impact of an unhealthy Ex, then this episode is for you!

You'll Discover:

Two critical mindsets for success
The Inoculation Strategy - what it is and how it works
Real-life examples, tips and dialog scripts that you can use today
How to make an impact and influence the kids even if you have limited or less visitation time
A next step opportunity to get united (in your own home) around the values, character traits and lifestyle choices you want to instill in the kids

Resources from this Episode:

We mentioned Ron Deal's book The Smart Stepfamily, click the link to check it out.
Episode #7: Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps That Help
Episode #20: 4 Big Myths About Parenting When an Ex has Different Rules
Want to join our Patreon community and receive exclusive content and free bonuses? Just click here

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

31. 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope with Your Ex

14 april 2020 | 47 min

Dealing with Ex's (and their partner) is one subject most of us prefer to avoid. The truth is, avoiding the challenges that come with "the other home" is not the best thing for your kids.

You see, the better your relationships are between the adults in both homes — the better life is for your kids. Plus it's more peaceful for you!

Trying to reason with Ex's who sometimes feel unreasonable just isn't that easy. We've had more years of experience trying to work with a difficult Ex than we would wish on anyone…

…but the good news is we've learned a thing or two along the way.

Yes, the Ex and their spouse can be difficult; however, that doesn't mean you're helpless — or that the situation is hopeless. There are tons of things you can do to make the whole situation better for yourself and more importantly for your kids.

That's why we recorded this candid conversation. We're sharing just a few of the things we've discovered over the years. And if you put them into action right away, you might be surprised what could change for the better.

If you've ever struggled with tough emotions when you're dealing with "the other home", then this is the episode for you! So grab your headphones and join us…

You'll Discover:

Why you should stop fighting change
What collaboration really looks like
How to focus on what really matters

Resources from this Episode:

Here's the blog article we mentioned: Contaminating Conflict: the Ugly, the Bad & the Good

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

30. Should stepparents WANT authority with their step-kids?

7 april 2020 | 40 min

Authority — it's a tough subject in blended families.

Who has it…who doesn't? Who should have it…and who shouldn’t?

There's so much conflicting advice out there about this it can make your head spin! And one big "message" that seems to have made its way into the mainstream is that authority should NOT belong to a stepparent.

But, is it that simple?

I (Mike) used to talk a lot about Authority Vs. Influence, but as I've come through 19 years now of raising and relating to my step-daughter — and as I connect with more and more couples I'm discovering that we need a different "message".

I think the question isn't, "…should I have authority with my step-kids?"

The real question is, "…how can I build HEALTHY authority with my step-kids?"

And a different question requires a different answer. So that's what we're exploring in this episode. You'll listen in on an honest conversation between Kim and I as we re-think this whole subject.

You'll Discover:

The three key elements of building trust (a major key in developing healthy authority)
Some fun ideas for creating relationship
What to do when you "mess up"
And the two most important things Bio-Parents need to do to help their partner build the healthy authority you're BOTH hoping for

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 4 — Can You Overcome Your Parenting-Style Differences?
Episode 28 — What if What You Think is Defiance is Actually Something Else?

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safeguarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

29. What is a Loyalty Bind and what can you do about it?

31 mars 2020 | 38 min

Have you ever felt rejected by your stepchild?

I know I have — and it hurts. Especially when you're trying so hard to show them how much you love them.

Most stepparents I've met really want to have a connected relationship with their stepchild. But somewhere along the way, they feel like giving up. It's not that they don't still want to build a relationship…it's just that rejection is painful.

I've also discovered that the "rejection" is most often not really about me. It's common for that to be the reaction of a stepchild when they're caught in a Loyalty Bind…and that's a typical place for kids to get stuck in blended families.

As I started to see that Annika (my step-daughter) was stuck in this bind it changed my view of what was really happening. I got more focused on helping her loosen the "binds" instead of simply protecting myself.

If you've ever felt rejected by your step-child — this is the episode for you.

You'll Discover:

What a Loyalty Bind is and how kids get stuck in them
How to support kids emotionally when they're stuck in a Loyalty Bind
Ways to help step-parents cope when they're feeling hurt from the result of a step-child's Loyalty Bind
How bio-parents can avoid inadvertently feeding into a child's Loyalty Bind

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 7 — Toxic Ex's & Hurting Kids — 5 Steps That Help
Episode 25 — How to Survive Time Alone with Your Step-Kids — Your Guide to Spring Break
Episode 26 — Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step-Kids?
Episode 27 — How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child book by Dr. John Gottman
Article by Ron Deal on FamilyLife Blended: How to Cook a Stepfamily

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safeguarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "tha

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

28. What if What You Think is Defiance is Actually Something Else? [with Amanda Rueter]

24 mars 2020 | 48 min

"NO!"

Isn't that one of the most frustrating words to hear from your kids and step-kids? We all want our kids to grow up learning to have a voice of their own, but if we're really honest - we just want compliance when we ask them to do something…

…that would be nice, wouldn't it?

What if that "NO!" response is a sign of something good developing in our kids? What would be different if you knew that what feels like "defiance" is actually a healthy part of their development?

That's exactly what we're exploring today in this very special episode where we interview our first guest on the show! :-)

Amanda Rueter is a Mental Health Therapist turned Mom to two boys and is now an online parenting educator at MessyMotherhood.com. As a recovering yeller, Amanda teaches parents around the world how to parent their children without anger and yelling through her articles, courses, and coaching program.

Every parent and step-parent needs to discover the concept of "counterwill" and Amanda is going to give us the low down. She'll help you understand why counterwill is important and exactly how to respond to it in 3 simple steps.

We know you're going to enjoy this value-packed interview!

You'll Discover:

What "counterwill" really is
The positive side of counterwill
The impact of counterwill on step-relationships
3 simple steps to use when counterwill pops up
When should a parent/step-parent be demanding and/or expect compliance?

Resources from this Episode:

Check out Amanda's resources at www.messymotherhood.com

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

27. How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships

17 mars 2020 | 41 min

Lots of people talk about setting "healthy boundaries" and we all want to believe we're doing just that. But the truth is, many of us can't clearly define what healthy boundaries actually are — much less being able to define our own PERSONAL healthy boundaries.

And the subject of boundaries is confusing. What we really want is to feel bonded and connected to our spouse, kids and step-kids. But boundaries feel like we're drawing the proverbial line in the sand which sometimes seems like it creates more separation.

Here's the reality: clear and healthy boundaries allow for stronger bonds and more satisfying relationships

…even if that seems counter-intuitive.

In this episode, you'll discover how to set clear boundaries AND safeguard your relationships at the same time (haha…I guess we already said that in the title).

To enjoy closeness in your blended family relationships and hold onto your sanity in the middle of complex circumstances, learning to set clear boundaries is key. If you take the time to think through what we're sharing here, you'll get the best of both worlds.

So, listen in on this critical discussion. It may be one of the most important topics for your family yet…

You'll Discover:

What do unhealthy boundaries look like?
The 3 boundary types and which is best
When and where boundaries need to be set
The 3 Principles for Clear Boundaries
One boundary strategy specifically for step-parents

Resources from this Episode:

Episode 21 - What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 23 - How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
The Smart Stepmom by Ron Deal & Laura Petherbridge
Boundaries Book Series by Drs. Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Blog: 4 Simple Principles for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Kids

Subscribe & Review

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click her

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

26. Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step-Kids?

10 mars 2020 | 38 min

Every step-parent wants a great relationship with their step-kids. But somewhere along the way, it feels like that gets hijacked by a crazy, unexpected competition.

Every time we feel like things are going along fine and we're finally figuring it out — WHAM!

another argument about petty things
more butting into conversations meant for adults
again, wedging their way between you and your spouse

It can be exhausting!

We hear these kinds of stories all the time (and we've lived it!). One stepmom shared with us, "I was starting to doubt there would ever by a solution that could make it bearable." She was starting to lose hope that the competition would ever end.

But we helped her discover how she could side-step the competition by focusing on 2 primary things…

…and we're sharing both of them in this episode.

In This Episode You'll Discover:

Why step-parents are a threat to their step-kids
A "case study" of one couple's story
Replacing walls of protection with bridges of connection
How to prepare yourself for side-stepping the "competition"
How to partner well with your spouse

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Episode 017 — 6 Simple Steps that will Help You Respond to Disrespect
Episode 021 — What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience? (Part 1 of 3)

Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts

Are you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safeguarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community. By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us! Click here to join our community today

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

25. How to Survive Time Alone with Your Step-Kids — Your Guide to Spring Break

3 mars 2020 | 33 min

24. What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure? (Part 4 - BONUS!)

25 februari 2020 | 32 min

23. How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected (Part 3 of 3)

18 februari 2020 | 36 min

22. 1 Simple — and Romantic — Way to Combat Being Stranded or Trapped (Part 2 of 3)

9 februari 2020 | 39 min

21. What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience? (Part 1 of 3)

4 februari 2020 | 36 min

20. 4 Big Myths About Parenting When an Ex has Different Rules

28 januari 2020 | 38 min

19. How to Help Step-Siblings to Get Along Better

21 januari 2020 | 44 min

18. How to Help Kids Navigate Transition and Change

14 januari 2020 | 36 min

17. 6 Simple Steps That Will Help You Respond to Disrespect

7 januari 2020 | 51 min

16. 5 Proven Fundamentals to Something New in Your Blended Family

31 december 2019 | 26 min

15. 7 Unexpected Realities That Can Leave You Feeling Blindsided

23 december 2019 | 33 min

14. 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments

17 december 2019 | 40 min

13. How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Family

10 december 2019 | 37 min

12. 4 Meaningful Mindsets for Budgeting Your Happy Holiday

3 december 2019 | 33 min

11. 3 Hidden Strengths for Imperfect Blended Families

26 november 2019 | 30 min

10. 8 Practical Tips for a Successful Holiday Season

19 november 2019 | 28 min

9. A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids

12 november 2019 | 30 min

8. Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander (Part 2)

5 november 2019 | 35 min

7. Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps That Help (Part 1)

29 oktober 2019 | 42 min

6. Are Your Kids Stuck in a 'Parental Allegiance' and What Can You Do About It?

22 oktober 2019 | 35 min

5. How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers from Your Past

15 oktober 2019 | 31 min

4. Can you overcome your parenting-style differences?

8 oktober 2019 | 31 min

1. Welcome | Our Story | Your Challenge

27 september 2019 | 29 min

2. The 5-Focus Framework that Simplifies Blended Family Life

27 september 2019 | 29 min

3. How to Juggle Personal, Couple and Family Time

27 september 2019 | 40 min

Blended Family Breakthrough

We're Mike and Kim Anderson and we believe in a world where blended families experience a future full of hope, connection, and peace.

Om podden

Avsnitt

Simple Step: Co-Parenting Pitfalls

206. Avoid These 5 Common Pitfalls to Ensure a Successful Partnership

Simple Step: Effective Consequences

205. 4 Facets of Parenting: What Bio Parents Need to Know to Achieve Best Outcomes (Part 2)

Simple Step: A Stepparent's Role in Creating Enjoyment

204. 4 Facets of Stepparenting: Defining Appropriate Roles and Responsibilities (Part 1)

Simple Step: Managing Tension

203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United Team

Simple Step: The Pitfalls of Perspective Pushing

202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]

Simple Step: Redefining Simple Fun

201. Step Up Enjoyment and Safeguard Your Relationship by Taking FUN Seriously [w/Rich & Christa Clark]

Simple Step: Holiday Announcement

Simple Step: Relational Growth

200. A Heart-to-Heart Conversation Exploring the Secrets to Lasting Love

Simple Step: Helping Kids Solve Social Problems

199. 6 Simple Ways to Help Your Kids Build Social Confidence and Connection

Simple Step: Creating Healthy Sleep Habits

198. How do sleep habits impact the health and wellness of your kids? [with Jessica Bryant]

Simple Step: Managing Screens Across Households

197. Conquer Digital Overload: Parenting Tips for Raising Tech-Savvy Kids [with Stephen Arterburn]

Simple Step: Communicating Well With Your Ex

196. 5 Tips for Effectively Negotiating Holiday Plans with an Ex

Simple Step: Highlight the Positives - Mike's Story

195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child — Facing the Challenges of Parental Alienation

Simple Step: Responding to Your Child's Complaints & Accusations

194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]

Simple Step: Preparing to Blend

193. The Advantage of Learning The Basics BEFORE You Blend

Simple Step: Building Trust in Parenting

192. A Simple Process to Navigate Sensitive Conversations About Each Other's Kids

Simple Step: Money Matters

191. Achieve Financial Harmony: Expert Guidance for Blending Your Finances [with Ron Deal & Greg Pettys]

Simple Step: Facing Difficult Emotions that Come with Blending

190. Where can you turn for help? Understand the Difference Between Counseling and Coaching

Simple Step: How to Respond to a Child's Grief

189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief: A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]

Simple Step: Managing "Rule Rage"

188. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 2)

187. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 1)

Simple Step: A Formula for Trust Building

186. How to Build an Atmosphere of Trust and Influence as a Stepfather [with Gil Stuart]

Simple Step: Where do you get sound advice?

185. Overcome Isolation and Loneliness By Plugging Into a Supportive Community

Simple Step: Celebration and Support for Stepmoms

184. The Heart of Motherhood: Navigating Messy Moments with Empathy and Love

Simple Step: Build Your Parenting Partnership

183. What's the difference between "coupleness" and "familyness" and why does it matter?

Simple Step: Collaborative Family Leadership

182. How to Lead Your Blended Family with Intentionality and Courage [with Mike Haney]

Simple Step: What to do when you're alone with your step-kids

181. Discover Insider Tips, Strategies, and Attitudes from One Dedicated Stepdad [with Special Guest Mike Haney]

Simple Step: The ONE Thing You Can do to Blend with Success

180. Break free from Guilt and Blend with Authenticity and Security

179. Conquer Fear and Embrace Your Blend with Confidence and Clarity

Simple Step: Technology Tips for Teens

178. Surviving the Turbulent Teen Years: Expert Insight and Strategies for Today's Parent [With Dr. Michael Bradley]

Simple Step: Meeting Our Partner's Deepest Need

177. Unleash the Power of Friendship This Valentines Day and Beyond

176. Uncover Your Relationship Style and Gain Hopeful Insights From Our Journey

Simple Step: Keeping Kids Out of the Middle

175. 8 Tips to Protect Kids From Stress and Tension When Moving Between Homes

Simple Step: Effective Dialog with Tweens & Teens

174. How to Raise Confident Kids by Building a Solid Foundation for Success in Life [with Special Guest Nellie Harden]

Simple Step: Turning Setbacks into Real Growth

173. Expert Guidance for Holiday Success

Simple Step: The Unpredictable Parenting Style

172. 2 Key Elements to Resolve Your Parenting Style Differences — And Get United

Simple Step: Break Free From "Perfectionistic" Holiday Ideals

171. How to Experience More Fun, Connection, and Joy this Holiday Season [with Rich and Stacy]

Simple Step: How to Improve Co-Parenting

170. Co-Parenting Pitfalls for Bio and Step Parents: How to Avoid "Milestone Mishaps"

Simple Step: Parent's Remarriage with Adult Children

169. Real Insight and Advice for Remarried Parents AND Their Concerned Adult Children

Simple Step: When Emotion Coaching Might Not Be Appropriate

168 (Part 4) Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve